Beginner's luck: Log 1

First attempt I deem a failure, improvement is necessary for success. The main question is how to achieve success?

Well first things first is poking holes in my story, the most obvious one being the lack of paragraphs; it looks messy, really messy. Not even I would read it and I have read some real shit, no don't ask and it wasn't on FimFiction. Look the point is I now have a target: Use paragraphs more often; sure it's similar to the ones that you to set at school but never achieve but I can't help that. This leads me to my next issue how to achieve my impossible target? My solution? Not sure yet come back later.

Another problem with my fic is the length, I tell not show(yeah I don't get the concept either but I hear it's important), it was basically:

wow such landscape
much griffin very cool wow
kill slice so complex
much description wow much bad guy
wow
just wow

Yeah it had as much structure as Windoge 8 and a similar amount of context. This is an depressing conclusion and is likely looking at the glass half empty but I think it's fair to say we all can't be perfect from word go just better then me. It's going be fun improving my writing style; it's needed, how well I can write reflects my whole life.
P.S. I am not being dramatic