Regent Deleted Scenes #4 · 6:27am Oct 26th, 2013
I had a bit of a rough time in the early sections of the Night Guard scene. I didn't like it and at first, I thought it was awkward setting (still in the bedroom), so I deleted the whole thing and started over. Only after rewritting it did I realize it was due to the “serious” things the Night Guard were doing—serious for a [Comedy] fic. By that point, I just said “screw it,” wrote it off to the [Adventure] tag, and just continued on, assassinations and all.
The alicorn grabbed a bucket filled with purple feathers labeled “Quills” and spat the feather into it before returning to her preeening.
'Now, carefully...'
[-----]
Twilight gurgled and spit out the mouthwash before grinning in the mirror.
“Finally. Time for bed.”
She reached for the door when she heard a female voice from inside her room.
“With respect sir, are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Absolutely.” a male voice responded, “How else are we supposed to do this?”
Twilight pressed an ear to the door.
'W-What's going on?!'
“For one, we could knock and calmly explain ourselves?”
“Where's the fun in that. Besides, she already knows we're coming. We need to do this quickly if we want to keep on schedule.”
'Who are they?'
Another male voice spoke.
“I must agree with the Captain-General, sir. This doesn't seem like a very good idea.”
“Nonsense. Now, has the dragon been suitably dealt with?”
'Oh no, Spike!'
Not bothering to hear the response, Twilight rammed her door, breaking it off the hinges. Inside of her room, she could see three dark figures now staring at her. She shot three bolts of magic at them in rapid succession.
“Whoa!”
“Dang it, Borealis!”
“Air Dodge!”
The three figures disappeared in an instant and the bolts of magic hit Twilight's nightstand, disintegrating it. A gust of wind caused Twilight to turn to the right, where the three figures now stood.
“You know, Sergeant, you don't have to yell out the moves before you make them. That kind of gives away to your opponent what you're going to do.”
“Got more important things to worry about, Captain.” the female snapped.
“Oh, right.” he turned to Twilight, “Angry alicorn to deal with.” he cleared his throat, “Just settle down, Lady Regent.”
Twilight snorted angrily.
“And why should I? Look what you did to Spike!”
The baby dragon still snored peacefully.
'Awha?'
“How bout I clear things up before this situation spins wildly out of control. I'm Captain Aurora Borealis of the Night Guard.” he gestured to the mare, “To my left is Captain-General Solar Eclipse and to my right,” he gestured to the other stallion, “is Sergeant Sprinkles.”
Twilight calmed down a bit.
“N-Night Guard?”
After looking a little more closely, Twilight could see the bat wings and fangs that defined the bat ponies who made up most of the Night Guard. Borealis relaxed from his heightened state Twilight had put him in.
“That's right. My apologies for our unfortunate entry.” he glanced at Eclipse, “It appears Echo was right once again.”
Eclipse rolled her eyes.
“Eclipse, sir, Eclipse. How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that.”
He scoffed.
“It's rolls of the tongue better than 'Ecle', doesn't it?”
Captain-General Eclipse groaned before rubbing her temple.
'This is the feared Night Guard?'
“Why are you even here?”
He turned from his subordinate.
“Oh, yes. We are here for our scheduled debriefing meeting.”
Twilight looked confused.
“Scheduled...meeting?”
Borealis looked at his two companions.
“Yes, the one that the Ministry of Defense has organized.”
Twilight slowly shook her head.
“They haven't organized any meeting with me.”
“Oh.” Borealis put a hoof to his chin, “I could have sworn I asked Minister False Flag to schedule a debriefing. I guess not.”
Eclipse huffed.
“You've got to be kidding me!”
Borealis shrugged.
“Oh well. We're here, so we mine as well get this over with.”
Sergeant Sprinkles turned to his Captain.
“It's 'might', sir.”
Aurora looked at him.
“Really? I always thought it was 'mine as well'? Huh.” he looked back at Twilight, “Anywho, let's get this debriefing underway. Since you haven't spoken to False Flag—great guy by the way, throws some of the best barbeques I've ever been to—where was I? Oh yes. Since you haven't talked to him, tell me, what do you know of the Night Guard?”
'Seriously? This is the Night Guard?'
“Well, the guard was split from the Royal Army in 52 AD, with the intended purpose of providing security to Princess Luna, although, some historians have suggested that it was actually an attempt by Princess Celestia to stave off Luna's growing envy and jealousy. In 143 AD, under the leadership of Captain Night Owl, they—”
Aurora put up a hoof.
“Pardon me for interrupting, but allow me to rephrase the question. What does the Night Guard do?”
Twilight looked befuddled.
“They...guard the night?”
It took every ounce of training Eclipse had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Aurora only chuckled.
“Well, yes, I suppose we do, but the Night Guard does far more than that. Despite what your brother may have told you, it's the Night Guard that act as Equestria's main defense, not the Royal Guard.”
Twilight nodded.
“We also serve as the primary development arm for Equestria's military. Most of the technological advancements that are now used were first developed by us. Finally, we're also Equestria's main intelligence provider. We keep tabs on everyone to make sure that Equestria stays safe.”
Despite Borealis' light tone, Twilight could help but feel uncomfortable by that last sentence.
“As you're now head of the country while the sisters play, we are legally required to inform you as to the going ons of the Night Guard. With that awkward introduction out of the way, let's start with the R&D projects.”
“Okay.”
Borealis reached into a small container on his armor with a leathery wing and unfurled a scroll to read.
“First up, with an annual budget of two hundred million bits, is Project ARMACHAN VI. Our ongoing weapons development program. Work on hoofheld gunpowder weapons makes up a majority of the project. The project reports that continued issues with recoil are proving problematic in initial designs. They haven't even begun to address aiming difficulties. The first pistol won't be ready for deployment for at least another seven years.”
He tossed the scroll to Sprinkles, pulled out another, and started reading through it.
“Let's see, do do do do do—ah, here we go. Section 31's work on the Changeling Morphogenic Virus is progressing. Tests on captured test subjects have yielded positive results in hampering their shapeshifting abilities, but—oh dear,” he glanced at Twilight, “the eighty percent fatality rate still needs to be lowered. Testing continues.”
'Wh—What?'
That uncomfortable feeling inside of Twilight sank into her stomach like an anchor.
Another scroll hit Sprinkles in the face.
“Next we have the National Shield Project, which is testing using [INSERT] radiation to construct a 'shield-like barrier' around Equestria in the event of an invasion or calamity. They report initial progress is slow given the energy requirements and difficulty in containing the radiation, but are still hopeful.”
Sprinkles dodged to the side to avoid the scroll, only for it to boomerang around and clip his rear.
“Then there's Project ICARUS, which is mainly being contracted out to the Equestria Dirigible Company. Their efforts to create a 'non-magical, non-lighter than air flying apparatus for use by earth pony and unicorn guards in combat and training missions' are progressing splendidly. Two test craft, codenamed 'Pink Heat' and 'Bronze Gold' have completed the next round of flight tests at Brave Heart Military Base.
“'Pink Heat' is an apparatus which,” he squinted at the text, “uses an unpowered rotor in autorotation to develop lift, and an engine-powered propeller, to provide thrust. 'Bronze Gold' is an aparuatus which uses affixed wings on its body that generate lift caused by the apparatus' forward airspeed and the shape of the wings. Man, that's technical.”
I think I prefer this version. It has more comedy but still contains the unease of the original.
"Wait a minute." Twilight waved a hoof while thinking. "Pink Heat. Why does that sound familiar?"
"It shouldn't," said Borealis with a frown. "The classification level is Ultraviolet Seventeen. Out of the one hundred and thirty million bit yearly allotment, over half is spent on security. After all, this is a flight capable earth pony craft that not only can hover over enemy territory but is also completely constructed out of high-density carbohydrates so in the event of a crash, a pilot has survival rations for several weeks. The implications are staggering, once all the bugs are worked out of the models."
"Got it!" said Twilight. "It's the Model 100 Candycopter that Pinkie Pie bought last year."
"Quite impossible. The security behind the project is quite--"
"She showed me the brochure. You can order one through the mail."
"But the expense would be staggering for--"
"They're 2,299 bits, plus tax," said Twilight with a piercing stare. "Two year warranty, and optional skywriting attachment extra."
"But..." Borealis paused with his jaw open. "Ours has an engine?"
"One that doesn't work," added Twilight. "And as I recall, the funding for secret projects comes out of the same committee that cut funding for all of Equestria's public libraries by seven percent last year."
"Maybe," said Borealis...
Eh, this one is indeed more comedic, but, and I don't know if it's just because the idea hasn't quite reached its fully refined state like in the final chapter, it doesn't quite achieve the same effect. I think you were right to dial back the comedy to better suit the theme.