The Reminder of Hatred Creeps Its Way To Me · 6:31am Sep 30th, 2013
I know that I don't have to be reminded when I'm not wanted. I guess its just a gift or its something you seem to adapt to when your used to it.... Yeah, I guess they think that they have to remind me. Its not necessary to remind me anymore. They think getting me a psychiatrist will help me. How fucking stupid are they? Do they really think I'll fall to a bunch of backstabbers. That's how psychiatrists work. They gain your trust and destroy your secrets. My parents think that there's something wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with me. I'm just hurt....... That's all I've ever been...... I'm bent not broken. I'll put my head into my pillow with the thoughts and comfort of someone caring for me. The tears of misery and sorrow flow down my cheeks. The misery of being reminded that I'm not welcome and the sorrow of the happiness I once had in my life. I ask for love but in return all I get is a look of hatred. I'll put my head in my pillow and think of comforting thoughts of my life ending. Or someone loving me. Tonight I'll think about my grandfather. The only person who ever seemed to love me. I'm only putting up this blog just because I've gone 12 days sober. Also I'm a bit teary. I'm also hurt. I've been reminded that I'm not welcome. But know these words. These words seem to be useless to me but if you yourself ever feel depressed. Remember these words. "When you've suffered enough and your spirit is breaking. Your growing desperate from the fight. Remember your loved and you always will be."
The words are from a band called "Linkin Park" the song is called "The Messenger" its a song when they talk about love and kindness. Its a beautiful song.
hope you start feeling a little better and congratulations for being sober for 12 days.
and remember pinkie loves to see you smile 