What's Wrong With Nice Guys [Or, Wherein I Lose Followers] · 2:08am Aug 25th, 2013
Regidar made a blog post touching on this earlier, and I felt compelled to expound upon it, being in possession of a vagina and enjoying the occasional company of penis-bearers.
"Waaaaaaaaaaah she doesn't like me because I'm too niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice girls only want aaaaaaaaaaassholes!" you scream and cry. Usually from your parent's house, your un-to-under-employed ass fixed firmly in your computer chair. "Why won't she date meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?"
Well, what the hell do you bring to the table? Honestly.
The guys you call 'assholes' tend to be a little more driven than you are. They step up and SHOW interest.
"But I do nice things for her! I listen to her! We go for coffee sometimes!"
Okay? And those are things friends do. She probably sees you as a friend because you act like her fucking friend. Believe it or not, women ALSO have a fear of rejection, and aren't generally going to make the first move. So if you act like a friend, she's going to treat you like a friend, and that is ALL.
Back to 'what do you bring to the table': Saying you can love someone and be loyal and all that hokey bullshit is great, but a woman is also gonna look at how you look on paper. How's your job? What are your talents? What is your long-term plan for your life? If you're living with your parents, when is your move-out date? If you're in college, what's your course of study, and how lucrative is that in the real world? It's not a matter of 'girls only care about money', it's 'women care about security'. Also, nobody wants a goddamned leech of a man-child for a boyfriend. Trust me. I did the whole 'he loves me and that's all that matters!' shit for YEARS before realizing that no, in a practical sense, that is NOT all that matters, and I don't need ANOTHER child to take care of that I didn't eject from my own vag, thank you very much.
Those assholes? Remember how I said they're driven? They tend to ALSO be driven in their business lives. They're assholes, but they're charming assholes, which is how they make their way in both their romantic and business lives. They also tend to be more driven to take care of their appearance. A woman appreciates a dude that gives enough of a shit to cut his hair in a flattering way and go to the gym more than once a year.
I'm not suggesting 'be an asshole' is the solution, especially not for a lot of you because then you're an asshole on top of having no job, motivation, or physical charm. That'd be a step BACK for most of you. The solution is to be driven. Keep that ~*super special niceness*~, but also sack the fuck up and ASK the girl out. Preferably AFTER you've done the whole 'take better care of yourself and move on from man-child phase' thing.
Women don't want assholes. They want men that are responsible, driven, at least equal providers (equal to the woman, I mean), and at least PASSINGLY attractive. Like, come on. At least try.
So why do they end up with assholes? Because assholes tend to have the good qualities they're looking for, where the 'nice guys' usually do not.
Additionally, the 'nice guys'? They tend to have a lot of negative traits. Are you jealous? Possessive? Lazy? Clingy? Those are traits that will get you dropped so damn fast it's not even funny. And the nice guys? They have a tendency to fixate on a woman because of how she looks. So the next time I hear 'she's only with him because he's hot!' I'm going to slap someone. That is the same thing that attracted you to her. Shut up and stop being a hypocrite.
I think that's about it for now.
Dis gon be gud. I anticipate a tasty flamewar.
1306502
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9465-spaghetti.gif
in all seriousness tho,
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9907-image.jpg
I'm gonna call total bullshit there. I asked out a girl I really liked once, and we'd known each other for a few weeks up to that point. I was really nice to her, all that jazz. When I went to ask her out, she said she didn't think I'd be a good boyfriend. I had a stable job, and was top of my class in high school.
So she starts dating another guy. Two months later, he cheats on her, yet she still wouldn't give me another chance. Though I didn't really want another chance, to be honest. She picked a douchebag over a guy who genuinely liked her.
1306509
Two minutes. TWO FUCKING MINUTES.
1306509 Did it occur to you that she just didn't like you? She's not obligated to like you that way.
1306510 Oh, I was just stating how I felt about it. I'm not mad at her or anything. She stated how she felt, and I countered with the way I felt. Anybody who would unfollow her over this is an idiot.
1306512 Oh, I talked with plenty of her close friends. She thought I was attractive, but apparently didn't think I'd be there for her enough.
All of this, plus that asshole is a relative term that I find often tends to be confused with "normal person dating someone I want to date."
And that if you are a nice guy, and you have a friend who is dating the person they want to date, the "nice" thing to do is be happy for her and help her be happy in whatever way she wants. Whining and calling the guy an asshole is rarely, in fact, nice. Often it makes the person whining closely resemble an asshole themselves, and many women know to beware of guys who are nice to them and assholes to other people.
1306515 And that's her right. So it wasn't a matter of 'waah she only wanted a douche :(' it was 'eh, he's cute, but nah'. Which is, again, her right.
1306517 Yeah, but she still made the wrong choice by going with a guy who ended up cheating on her. I'm not saying she had to date me specifically, but her choice of boyfriend wasn't good at all. He'd done it in the past, so it was obvious he'd do it to her.
Easiest way to pick up chicks. Wear something nice, go to a bar, and then ask as many girls out as you can. The trick is to not give a fuck if you get rejected. And eventually, there'll be a girl who says yes. If not, wipe the dust off your shoulders and try the next night. No matter how many times some of them say no, as long as you don't look like a goddamn serial killer and have enough tact to buy her a drink and act charming, one of them will say yes. That's all it takes.
1306519 And? That doesn't mean she wanted a douche, she just erroneously thought that the cheating was something he'd learn from. Believe it or not, some people cheat in one relationship and not the next one. Holding someone's past against them is not a healthy way to start a relationship.
1306522 More or less, yeah.
1306522
> Implying that most of the site users can go to bars.
P.S.: I'm taking notes.
I guess it all depends I suppose. I Wouldn't consider myself a nice guy But I wouldn't consider myself an asshole either. I am blunt, I will tell you how it is, if it hurts you or not. Hell I am a nineteen year-old male that likes watching MLP because it is a nice show! Everyone who knows my knows this. Do I give a shit about what they think? Nnope. Now, that being said, I am very driven for a nineteen year old kid who got out of highschool a year ago and is currently half-way done with his career college training. I have my own car, My own job, And I live with my parents because they will still take me. I am a funny guy, I am very social, and boy do I flirt. I do SHOW interest and I make sure I let them person KNOW I am showing interest. Wanna know what I get? A back hand to the face. I have never once outright been an asshole to a female but I have never once not held back my complaints or criticisms. I will tell you if you smell, look like you havent slept in days, gained weight. Shoot I will tell you if you are ugly! But if I like you...You are MY ugly MY fat chick, I'll treat you with respect that you deserve nothing more and nothing less.
1306527 When they do it like 5 times in a year? Yeah, I'm gonna hold that against him. He was a douche.
1306522
Well that's me out of the running.
Taking part in this educational experience.
1306532 It's not about you. YOU are not the one in the relationship. So it's not YOUR choice.
1306529 Uh, if you were backhanded, I doubt you were flirting nicely. And there's a difference between 'honest' and 'entirely too fucking blunt' which I'm thinking is something you still need to learn.
1306536 I didn't say it was. I said he was a douche, thank you very much. Not once in that comment did I say it was my choice.
1306528
Okay, a bowling alley or something. The dumpster at Denny's. Wherever teenagers hang out at.
1306536 Now now, I meant backhanded in the sense of literal terms not physical and as for the the blunt it is just a part of who I am, I can't/won't change that. I don't believe in cherry coating things, it brings way more drama than the truth.
1306540 *I* said that holding someone's past against them is not a healthy way to start a relationship, meaning HER holding it against him. You said YOU would hold it against him, but the thing is, it doesn't matter if you do, because you're not the one involved in the relationship. Think he's a douche all you like, but don't assume it's your place to police another person's relationship. That's like... what gossipy forty-something women do, of which I am assuming you are not one.
Took me a few seconds to realize that this blog only applies to the straight guys.
I don't understand this thing guys have with struggling to find chicks who in all likeliness are shalllow anyways.
Okay, you don't have the best of luck with gals, fine.
That leaves you with two choices, either man the fuck up or go soul searching in a different place and man the fuck up if you haven't already.
Now I'm not saying you should turn into a super macho man who shoots deer and drinks vodka like it was water, but rather grow a mental pair of testicles.
Be open minded, explore a little, talk to people, make use of your talents, all that good stuff.
This blog would be a little more accurate I think if it were titled "What's Wrong With Nice But Cowardly Straight Men".
Praise Smooze.
1306544 Again: Honesty and brutal honesty are different. Saying a girl is fat and ugly but hey, you'll treat her right! Is a pretty big red flag tbh
1306545 I'm not, but why did this argument even start? I simply stated how I felt. If I came across as rude, I apologize, because I didn't mean to. I'd like to just end it there, so good night.
1306550 Oh, I'm not arguing :) I'm countering your points. I find it funny that when YOU do it it's perfectly reasonable discourse, but when *I* do it, it's suddenly 'arguing'.
Have a good night!
1306553 I didn't consider it arguing just when you said something
We countered each other's points, so it was an argument, or a debate. Whatever you wanna call it. But night!
These comments are fucking gold. I might have to follow you just to read the reactions to your blog posts.
1306514 *coughs*
1306556 I am convinced that most people follow me just for the blogs :p
1306559
See, you might actually gain followers from this!
1306560 That would be hilarious and I would be okay with that
thank you for the watch :3
I solved all the problems with loneliness by accepting I was dying alone no matter what, and that if I can't make myself happy, I can't make somebody else happy.
That, and I can't stand being near myself, never mind another person.
Although the whole Nice Guy thing doesn't seem to be talked about over here. Not sure if that means it's a silent issue or not an issue at all.
1306562
Np, if the spaghetti in this thread is anything to go by, I won't regret it.
1306557 Yeah? I consider that an argument or a debate. Just the wording I use. Seriously, though, watch this blog get you to 200 followers
1306566 That would be hilarious. I'm only five off xD
Also, debates are not always arguments. They're not the same thing~
1306565 mom's spaghetti is all up ins
1306563 pretty much. You need to learn to both love and like yourself before you have any chance in hell of being a good partner in a relationship.
1306569 I suppose. But still, hit 200. You deserve it. If not for your awesome stories, then for your blogs.
1306571 Like I said, I'm doing another AMA at 200 :3 So I kind of hope I do.
1306569
I'd just prefer using my fifty years left on this planet to actually do shit like getting a job, living by myself and saving up, so I can be an old man who doesn't give a fuck about what people think of him because he has more money than everybody else, a steady job and expertise in what he does.
Helping you along to 200, by the way.
1306581 That is also a nice way to live :3
And thanks for that watch :D
1306516 also the friendzone is bullshit because we're not machines you put 'nice' into until sex falls out
1306589
Wait until I contact a guy who knows robotics.
Once I start selling robot girlfriends fueled by being a Nice Guy, I'll be king of the world.
1306594 I will buy six
1306589
Lies. Tell us the nice:sex ratio nao.
1306600
What about the Bastardry to Sex ratio?
Enquiring bastards want to know...
YES. Just... YES. I have been telling my fellow members of the male gender this for years, despite my complete lack of experience in the field of relationships. I know this shit because... Well, you try living with your mother and sister alone for several years and NOT learning some shit about women.
About damn time I see people confirming what I've been saying to those who've asked for SIX FUCKING YEARS!!!!
1306603
I've had some success with a medium amount of bastardry, seasoned to taste with snark and sarcasm. Your mileage may vary.
And this is why I don't give a shit about relationships.
Ps all this nice guy blog stuff is all over my dash so would you all please stfu
This comment section. My god.
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1306596
Hmm... I feel like doing a blog like this. After being a guy who used to think the whole "nice guys finish last" thing was true until I figured out it was a loud of bull, I could leave an interesting perspective here. Eh, I'll sleep on it.