Isn't being harrassed about your sexuality (or lack of) fun?! 8D · 6:10pm Aug 14th, 2013
Let's see here; mom thinks it's gross that I don't want a relationship, friends make fun/ask uncomfortable questions about asexuality despite knowing full fucking well, and honestly, at the end of the day (and the rest of the week), a baby is feeling ghost hands around it's neck due to said irritation.
Or a midget, which is close enough, I guess. 
Yeah, it ain't fun, and this has been building up for some time now. It's a challenge to even look in the mirror enough already, but feeling dirty in your own skin is just depressing. I know I'm just whining now, but fuckin' A.
Is this what other sexualities have to go through? No, of course it's not, because gays and bisexuals don't only make up 1% (fact) of the world's population! Infact, some even draw attention to themselves for it (which could technically be what I'm doing with this blog, but OH WELL~) I am literally the one percent, which it kinda funny/neat I gotta admit. But it sorta comes down to the fact you have close to nobody on the face of the Earth to relate with. Which actually makes you feel pretty small when you get down to it, and I mean smaller than being one of the BILLIONS of people in the planet.
One thing I like about fan fiction that (ESPECIALLY second person) is that it almost feels as though you're experiencing what the character is going through to yourself. But even then, I have yet to find many (if any) fanfics that deal with asexuality, fear of sex, or a combination of the two, supporting the unrelatable feeling I get having to do with the subject. I mean, who would even read it....
Hint: (I would). 
I'm not 100% sure whether or not it's me being stubborn or having split personalities or some shit, but a small part of me really doesn't want to be alone for the rest of my life. And trust me, you have NO idea how hard it is for me to admit that. Though, considering everything up to this point, loneliness is an inevitable future for me, regardless of having no sex drive/sexual attraction towards others.
If I manage to gain the courage, I may end up making a blog listing the reasons of my asexuality.... if anyone is even interested(I'm giving myself too much credit here). I don't feel this is the right blog to do so, however....
My apologies once again, as I usually don't feel it's right to use blogs to vent, especially over something like this. It's just that shit builds up, as stated before. Once it enters my head, it never truly leaves, a problem that has haunted me all of my life. I hate making anyone feel as though my bullshit is anything anyone should feel concerned about.... lowselfesteem_sucks_horsedick.png
Having been up for over 24 hours doesn't help either (actually, it amplifies my sad/angry tendencies...), but can't sleep at the moment, not to mention very much not in the mood to anytime soon (which is my fault, I suppose).
This has been an awkward rant. I'm really hesitant on posting this (have yet to click the "Post Blog Entry" button for around 20 30 40 minutes now), but..... oh well. Consequences come later, I suppose. 
P.S: Going to regret this later, I can feel it....
UUUUUGH WHYDIDIPOSTTHIS?
id love to know why you feel like you do
and remember It helps to talk about your problems.
if you posted that blog, i know i would read it.
also GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP.
First get some sleep. Second I know where you are coming from. While I'm straight my parents make fun of me for not dating that much or hardly at all. I'll date when I feel like it and when I meet someone I can really see myself being with. I'm not looking for marriage but I have standards.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/226/1/5/ddd_by_neonthepegasus-d6i55m3.bmp
I can feel it.
Hold on. Do people actually care if you're in a relationship? People have asked me about that, but I just say "I don't want a relationship". If they ask why, the reason is it's too much work for nothing show in all reality.
If people bother you, fuck'em. They don't matter. As my Dad told me before, the only opinion that matters to me should be mine.
Dude, asexuals will ALWAYS take the brunt of everypony's aggressions, because only the 1% can only possibly understand the whole lack of sexual attraction/extrememely low/nonexistant libido. This is something we're all going to have to live with. Gay people get insulted because it's not normal. But asexuals have it worse because at least gay people have some sort of sexual urge. Many people, especially in the sexually FUCKED (no pun intended) society we live in will only see sex as some sort of perosnal pleasure ideal, while some, including myself, view it as somethign sacred, best saved for marriage, which is where grey asexuals and demisexuality comes in, which is a story for another time.
Point is, you're asexual, primarily because you don't give a fuck. People will bash you, cut you down, call you names, and voraciously insult you simply because they cannot understand a life without sex. in the end, that's going to be their downfall. They're constricted by sexual desire, whereas we don't really feel the stumbling block of that desire, so we aren't distracted by that. And, supposing we ever find the right person, saving it for them makes it that much more special.
Keep your head up. Well...the one above the waist, anyway.
Trey