Present Perfect vs. Reading Rainbow ROUND TWO FAITO · 3:33pm May 7th, 2013
This won't happen that often.
So close to a year ago, I listened to a reading of Reading Rainbow by Corejo. Suffice to say, I was not impressed. Here's my original comment, copy-pasted from the story. (And here's a link to a reading by DrWh0oves! And one by Savrin Drake!)
I listened to AdventureFlame's reading of this, and I found it absolutely dreary and a chore to get through, despite not being the one reading it.
This story feels like an excuse to get the story within published, like you'd written it, couldn't get it submitted, and so threw on a boring and pointless framing story to pad it out. And I do mean pointless; what's going on here? Twilight's hurt, Rainbow reads her a story, they comment on the story, Twilight falls asleep. The end. That's it. Nothing happens.
Worse, you didn't even make the story within the story relevant to anything. By itself, it just comes off as subpar poetry (and not Shel Silverstein in any way, shape or form) with a fairly trite plot.
I came into this looking for some kind of bonding between Twilight and Rainbow. Instead, I found myself muttering, "Get on with it," as pages of poetry rolled inexorably by. I am most definitely not reading the sequel. And why is this tagged comedy? There's nothing even remotely funny about it. In all, a dull chore of a story.
Yeah. I was most definitely mad, first of all because comparisons to Shel Silverstein, and secondly because this is one of those stories that has more like than most of my stuff has views. It's fairly well-known and well-regarded, and... Well, I just couldn't see why. But mostly I'm a Poem Nazi.
But, as luck would have it, Corejo actually contacted me a few weeks ago, saying I was the only person to ever call him out on this piece, and that he'd actually taken my criticism to heart and fixed up his poem and would like me to take another look at it. Feeling phenomenally chuffed with myself for having evoked such a response, I did so today. Mark this as the first time I have ever gone back to a story in this manner. So let's tackle my original points one by one.
Absolutely dreary and a chore to get through
Not so much this time around. Of course, this could also speak to the fact that I read it myself instead of listening to someone else read it. This potential disparity in experiential bias is why I always note in responses when I've heard a story rather than read it.
boring and pointless framing story
It is kind of pointless still, but then again nothing about it has changed. Taken as a friendshippy followup to Read It and Weep, though, I would say it works... I'm just not really into slice of life friendshipping.
the story within the story [is not] relevant to anything
Still true, though I note there's a sequel and... Well, okay, I guess it still has nothing to do with anything. It looks like Twilight turns herself into a bug. :B Which could be fun.
By itself, it just comes off as subpar poetry
Now we get to the crux of the matter: the poem is no longer subpar. Corejo has learned a lot about meter and rhyme, and while it isn't perfect, remember we're talking to a self-described Poem Nazi here. It is remarkably passable, better than that even. Great work, Corejo!
and not Shel Silverstein in any way, shape or form
To qualify this: it still doesn't sound like Silverstein. There's a lot of archaic language use and vowel elision to keep with the meter, and I honestly can't find fault in that since I do it myself, but these are not things that Shel Silverstein did. However, I am no longer mad about the comparison, because the main conceit of the poem, the half-stallion in his half-house (and the charming, repeated line of "hou or an ouse") feels like Silverstein. And furthermore, the invocation of his name is pretty much just there to hang a pony pun on. But that feeling is very important, and I think I can see it a good bit more now.
with a fairly trite plot.
Can't win 'em all. But I dislike it far less now that I have spent less time raging and moaning and more time actually paying attention to the story of the poem.
I came into this looking for some kind of bonding between Twilight and Rainbow.
Part of the pointlessness of RR is that there's no "And then..." Yes, I think they bonded a little, but we never see the fallout of that, and I really think that we should have. Reading Rainbow feels like the first chapter of a story with no more chapters. Granted, if I were writing it, it would be, and it would be shipping, but that's just me. :V
I am most definitely not reading the sequel.
No longer true, as I just to-read it. Though I'd still rather see a direct sequel.
And why is this tagged comedy?
Yeah, that one's gonna stay there. It's really just pure slice of life.
In conclusion, Reading Rainbow is simply not a story destined to appeal to me. Little happens, Rainbow Dash's constant interruptions break the flow of the poem, and not much comes of it. But I don't hate it, on a second read, and for the massive improvement to the poem, I flipped my thumbs-down rating. I will also stop bad-mouthing it and using it as an example of "overrated stories" in the future. :) (I've got Fallout: Equestria for that now!)
3/5
*whispers* shh 'rock a bye baby, on the treetop, when the wind blows, the bass will drop, BZZZZ WUBWUB WIGGAWIGGA.
It was a neat idea, but the poem within was just bleh. It seemed to me like a wordcount grab. You say Dash interrupts to poem, I think the poem interrupts to story.
I do like SoL, but it still needs a *point*. Look Before You Sleep had a purpose, RR didn't.
I think this story might still be buried in my Read Later list somewhere. Guess that's one of 46 down.
I know you've read MLD, but did you ever officially tear it a new one with a review? It'd be kind of redundant at this point, but I'd still get a kick out of reading it.
I never especially cared about the poem.
I liked it because of how it showed the events of RiaW had changed Dash and changed her relationship with Twilight in believable and touching ways, and presented this via 2 ponies perspectives in experiencing a story. Twi's avid reader perspective and Dash's doubtful enthusiast perspective.
I also like it because it's one of only a few fics that mirrors the show in showing you don't need grand adventures or weird romances to bring the characters closer. Every thing they go through together, zany or mundane, good or bad, from spa dates, to Pinkie Parties, to missions from Celestia, to disasters and personal crises, strengthens their friendships and brings them closer together.
1060836
Yes. I might have left a comment on the story too, but good luck finding it.
1062104
Are you implicitly directing me to go read through the comments on MLD?
Of my own volition?
Glad to see your opinion of the poem has improved. I hope to see your thoughts of my other works in the future. :)
1062138
Maaaaaybe
no, srsly, don't do it :B
1062193
Eventually! I went and to-read a bunch of them. :D