TJbrena's Writing Tips and Tricks · 9:07pm Apr 25th, 2013
Because I'm bored.
Please select a voice to read this post in. The author will then provide an additional summary for you in the comments section, in character and at no cost to you! But that's not all! Post right now and we'll throw in a Youtube video starring your chosen voice too! That's a $50 value, absolutely free!* (Must pay separate shipping and handling for each package, content may vary, offer not available in Alaska or Hawaii, summaries are not official endorsements, product delivery subject to status of labor force, no refunds available)
( ) Morgan Freeman
( ) The Narrator from the Krusty Krab Training Video
( ) Sean Connery
( ) Steve Blum
( ) Jay Franke
( ) John DeLancie
( ) Patrick Stewart
( ) Bane
( ) BILLY MAYS
( ) dolan duk
( ) BOXXY, THE QUEEN /B/
So you want to be a better writer? Well, I can't teach you the most basic part: proper spelling and grammar. I can teach you ways to improve it, though. Just as I can teach you how to make your characters seem a little less wooden and plot a little thicker. But that part's for later. Right now, just focus on-
Part 1: Properly using Proper and Improper language! Properly!
1. Use a Word Processor
That's why Microsoft Word exists. I type all my stories in Word 2010 before I post them here on FIMFiction. Spelling errors, grammar errors and the like are pointed out and fixed. You can add words like "Equestria" to the program's vocabulary with a simple right-click, allowing you to be rid of the Red Squiggly LineTM under proper nouns like that. And one of the best features is that it shows you a Blue Squiggly LineTM
when you're using the wrong form of a word. Like "your", for instance. If there's one way to piss off a member of the Grammar Police, it's using words like "you're" and "there" in the wrong context. And even though you'll have to spend a couple minutes editing if you copy-paste straight from Word to FIMFiction, while you're re-italicizing sections and re-spacing your paragraphs, you'll see errors you didn't before.
2. Use Apostrophes Right
Apostrophes, those ink fleas the Ink Goblin leaves in print as part of his eternal war against the Whiteout Fairy, are actually useful. But you have to use them right. They belong in three situations:
1) A contraction like "don't", or "Mary's suing"; in the second example, the apostrophe indicates that Mary is suing, and not that Mary is the owner of suing.
2) A shortened word used as part of a dialect or to indicate that a character is simply omitting part of a word in a manner not commonly recognized, such as "ridin' dirty" or "a'ight".
3) As a possessive noun like "Pinkie's cupcakes" or "Gary's stew"; the exception to this rule is the word "it"; there is no possessive form of "it", and "it's" only means "it is".
3. People Talk Like People
While you can't technically use the wrong form of the word "your" in your speech, you still speak in grammatically imperfect sentences. Think about it. When somebody asks you a question and you answer "Yes.", that's not a complete sentence. The written word is different from the spoken word, and dialogue should reflect this.
Which of these sentences sounds more like Rainbow Dash?
A. "I ain't goin' to pick up Rarity's makeup!"
B. "I am not going to pick up Rarity's makeup!"
The correct answer is "A", because like the letter "A" Rainbow Dash is alpha as fuck. But more importantly, it's because her speech patterns are less refined than other characters, tending more towards slang and contractions. So if it fits the character and/or situation, use words like "gonna" instead of "going to", or "havin' a good time" instead of "having a good time".
Seriously though, this guy's channel is awesome, funny, and in some videos fairly insightful. His hilarious "True Facts about (Animal)" videos are the reason I subscribed, but he's got plenty of other good stuff too.
Oh hell yes! wait... no G.L.A.D.O.S. ?
I FUCKING CHOSE STEVE BLUM. STEVE BLUM STEVE BLUM'D WHILE HE STEVE BLUM'D ON STEVE BLUM IN STEVE BLUM ALL THE WAY TO STEVE BLUM IN STEVE BLUM ON STEVE BLUM. THERE WAS MORE BUT I FORGOT. STEEEVE BLUUUM!
Edit: When Steve Blum was voice acting either Martellus the Techmarine or Lord Eliphas. Scout Sergeant Cyrus is on that list too. Haven't heard him in Cowboy Bebop, even though my friend promised he would make me watch it.
Narrator from the Krusty Krab Training Video.
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Why can't I stop laughing!?
...medic. I need a medic over here.
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BECAUSE OF STEVE BLUM. STEVE BLUUUM!
I chose the Nano-suit's AI voice. I wish that was my brain's voice.
But yes, this is mostly what I do for my writing as well.
(And I do not care aboot my grammar unless it is in an important script, document, or work. So, do not go Grammar Gestapo on me)
caught between Morgan Freeman and Sean Connery
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Selected VA: Steve Blum
Selecting medium, please wait...
Video Game
Selecting game (series), please wait...
Mass Effect
Selecting character, please wait...
Urdnot Grunt
Analysis: Genetically modified super-krogan with penchant for mischief
Because words can't convey the full Grunt experience, I'll give you two videos.
DAMN YOUR... lettuce!
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ME 2 is shitting all over themselves. Crashing on the first loading screen. I really want to play it. And I refuse to play ME 3 without playing 2 first. I'm stubborn.
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That's a damn shame. I played all of them on my Xbox 360. Have you tried re-installing it? It might also be that your computer can't run it. I don't know, I'm not a computer person. The guy who made me a brony is a tech wizard among other things, but sadly that didn't rub off on me.
Anyway, those two vids don't really have any spoilers.
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I have a computer that can run Crysis 2 with max everything. I can handle ME 2. And my sister got my the trilogy disc set for christmas and I didn't get her anything, so I kinda feel obligated to play bit on PC. And yes, I tried uninstalling it and re-installing it.
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I don't know what to say dude. If I knew a way I could help you out, I'd help. Also, MAXIMUM CRYSIS!
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Its fine. I'm fine with what games I have.