, but not today.By Way of an Explanation · 8:36am Apr 3rd, 2013
...now I know what it takes to get folks commenting. So many new names!
### SPOILERS! ###
Have you read chapter 19 of ‘Wasp’ yet? No? Then come back when you have!
### SPOILERS! ###
Discord made me do it.
This all started in response to a comment (no names, you can probably work out who you are!) made after I posted chapter four; something to the effect of 'well it was obvious that Fusion would survive', after I left it at a cliff-hanger ending.
Challenge accepted.
I've been planning this for the best part of a year -- it's the main reason you are all getting these big chapters, so I could post this bit on the right date. It was meant to be a quick throw-a-way, but as I wrote it, I discovered that it actually would make a very 'real' ending to this story. It took on a life of its own, expanding to full chapter length.
It was also became much more 'serious' and difficult to write, so much so that I had real trouble with the final scene before the epilogue (let's just say that it's hard to type when you can't see the screen through the tears). I hadn't quite realised how much I had invested in the characters.
First draft was finished around December/January time and was sent off for prereading. By that point I’d read and reread it a number of times and I was starting to have an idea that just wouldn’t leave me alone. I’d written the chapter as a true alternate ending, and I was very pleased with it, but...
What if I just left it there?
What if I actually finished it and walked away? The idea was horribly persistent and attractive -- I really thought the ending worked, and the normal self-doubt that probably inflicts many people was rearing its ugly head: What if I can’t make a ‘real’ ending that worked as well? What if I lost interest and/or ran out of ideas? I’d been writing this thing for over eighteen months and this would set me free.
This turned into the short ‘By Way of an Apology’ as an explanation of what I was feeling at the time. Writing it was easy and let me get away from Wasp for a while, time enough to clear my head. Not putting a proper finish to Wasp would be a kind of betrayal, both of the characters and everyone who’s come along for the ride over the last year. Worse, it was lazy -- and I’ve always been disappointed when what should have been an epic scene in a movie turns into a flashback or a cheap montage set to music.
I’d finish it, and to cement the deal I wrote the true epilogue.
Time was marching on and April 1st was getting close; I had far too much material to keep to my normal posting schedule. Chapters got merged and double posted, all to make sure I could hit that deadline. Everything was ready.
...but I was getting nervous.
I’m not a big fan of practical jokes, as most seem to rely on someone being laughed at, and I’ve too much empathy to be comfortable with that. The chapter as written wasn’t really joke material; it was dark and, all modesty aside, I though I’d done a good enough job that many would take it as real (which was the whole idea!). I nearly didn’t post it, but fortunately one of my prereaders (and good friend), IcehawkPrime, recognised the signs and talked me down.
The plan was to have Apology as a follow-up chapter, but I didn’t want to annoy anyone with a ‘human’ story thrown into the larger Wasp, so it got posted as a separate short, with a link in the author’s notes. I’d have liked it to go live at the same time as CH19, but the system won’t left you send anything off for moderation without it being ‘published’, so that went up first.
Fallout
Mostly good, I think. A few were not amused, but I hope this won’t impair their future enjoyment of the story. I don’t like the idea of stressing people out, so I’m sorry for any angst I caused. Won’t happen again (at least, not with this fic).
So where next?
The chapter will stay up until the next chapter is posted, then I’ll edit the title to show it for what it is, and add in a link to allow through-readers to bypass the extras if they don’t like the idea. Apology will go in as chapter 20, with chapter 21 posted at the same time. IcehawkPrime had an excellent idea on how to integrate the whole thing; hopefully you’ll agree (and if not, I’ll be telling you exactly where to start reading again).
And finally...
If this had gone up on any other day, what would you have thought? It’s not a nice ending, but would it have worked for you? From what I’ve read from the comments, quite a few of you would have gone with it.
Anyway, I've got that out of my system now, so I shall return you to the much delayed revolution!
TL;DR: April Fools!
Taking it back is probably the most disappointing thing you could do to me at this moment in time. I fucking LOVED the ending.
Also, that whole apology thing would be great as a stand alone. Tying it into DoW&S was a dumb idea.
977230
It's not going anywhere, because I like it too!
Apology (although inspired by Wasp) is perfectly good as a stand-alone, which is why I put it up separately (that will stay up as well).
What I really want to do is clone Wasp and put it up as a complete with the 'downer' ending, while continuing work on the 'director's cut', but I'm not sure if FimFic allows that.
Fully integrating Apology would give readers all three options; stop at this ending, read the whole thing (complete with the meta/fourth wall breakage), or skip straight from CH18 to CH21.
977263
Eeeeh... Still feels like you let a bunch of whiners convince you to, maybe not change it, but provide an alternate ending to ease the butt-hurting.
I don't think I would have been completely happy if this had been the real ending, but I would have been satisfied. That said, I much prefer the plot that it felt like we have been building up to since the beginning, so I'm happy with this as a joke.
All in all, very well done. So many other authors went with filler for their joke chapters, so I have a lot of respect for someone who instead writes a satisfactory alternate ending as their joke.
While that ending was well-written, and as a rather involed joke, it works... But I would not have cared for it as the ending. For many reasons - there's too much invested in Fusion Pulse, and her build-up, to throw it away in that fashion, not to mention her workings towards real rebellion, the indications of possible war between this Hive and others (or the World Court), Chaos, Gravity, and so on. There's too much groundwork there that, honestly, it feels like that ending would just invalidate all that work.
I will say, this mostly means that I've been very impressed with the story thus far and have high hopes for future chapters. I just want to see it live up to what's already there.
977270
All of this was written months ago, and there was only one dissenting voice (and he lives in my head).
In truth, I really do it a disservice by calling it an alternative ending, when it's a just an ending. As far as I could manage, everything in it is perfectly in step with the rest of the story, and I put as much care into it as anything else.
I think there's some good stuff coming up (looking back from the perspective of CH27), but if you don't like it you can always consider the new stuff to be the 'alternative'.
I'm genuinely surprised at how well this was received, so it's possible you are in the majority, and that I'm disappointing more people by continuing than stopping!
977922
I think I'm confused here... You aren't taking back the ending in chapter 19, you are just continuing the story from that point on?
979555
At this time I do not intend to continue 'in universe' from CH19, although my plans are always flexible.
There will be three valid ways to read Wasp:
1) Track 1: Endgame; read chapter 19 and then stop.
2) Track 2: skip CH19 and CH20, restarting at the chapter marker for CH21 (bypassing the first ending, the connected meta/fourth wall breaking ‘author insert’ fic, and the 'story reset' linking paragraph).
3) Track 3: Read the whole thing.
I favour #1 (because it's finished now, and it's the version I'm giving out to anyone who asks me 'how's the writing going?'--although to them it's a fantasy technothriller, rather than MLP fanfic) and #2 (because that's what I'm working on now). Less keen on #3, because having a reset point is a bit of a cheap shot, although I'm biased because this one is mine!
And I forgot to mention-- glad you liked both CH19 and Apology.
980072
Chapter 19 goes with the story. It makes sense. I didn't go into this story thinking it was going to have a (completely) 'happy' ending. I actually expected Celestia/Luna to eventually take their powers and change the structure of the universe to something closer to what we see in the show, losing everything they knew and loved along the way.
Still, not including Apology would, in my opinion, be the best case scenario. Nothing kills my interest in reading stories than a sudden, unneeded break of the fourth wall.
Also, I didn't say I liked Apology (and I don't, for the simple fact that it... well, it reminds me of the way I used to write when I was 14-16, which is to say, trying too hard to be dark and edgy), I just said it could make for a great stand alone. As in, a completely separate story based on a struggling author who's sanity is breaking as he helps build the power-base of a soon to be very real goddess-like being.
But still.
I'll end up reading more of DoW&S.
But it had better be freaking good, man~! 
977537
Because I'm lazy, I'll just say I'm with this lady. Celestia and Luna have too much potential to let it finish like this, and so is the story - letting it end like that would be bad.
980331 this lady, if you please.
980076
Heh, you're right, conclusions based on limited data. Thanks for your honesty, and thanks for the explanation.
I understand your 'stand-alone' comment now; it's a good thought (I'll add it to my over long list). Downside: it means that pony-hating trolls are actually the last hope for humanity (we are so screwed).
Wasp will be as good as I can make it; I don't post unless I'm happy, so as long as our tastes (mostly) coincide you should be okay.
Failing that, I guess you still have the basement and the sledgehammer...
981099
I'm so happy you remembered~!
It makes it so easier on me when I don't have to
threatenpromise the same thing over and over and over again!Now to play the waiting game...
Thoughts on the 'ending':
It would have worked, but I feel that the dialogue between Fusion and Gravity should have been a bit longer and more open if this was indeed going to be the final chapter. As is, it brought out the bit of Fusion killing Salrath only to save Gravity. If this was the end, I'd expect a bit of personal satisfaction (more than the "gotcha") out of Fusion for the deed. (Salrath committed major body horror unto Fusion. That's the kind of stuff that requires eye-for-an-eye [HA!] retribution, and would add perhaps a bit of personal enjoyment on Fusion's end.) I also expected more drama during the fight between Salrath and Fusion (not just that Salrath had reinforcements coming immediately, mind you), not a quick (and seemingly incredibly easy) beatdown. Salrath is a highly-trained, bona-fide psycho who rose up through the ranks of a security sector due to her capability. I'm not saying that she should be able to wrestle a pony and win, but I'd expect her to at least be able to put up a decent struggle. (Also, her lack of a hidden blade or other weapon on her person seems out of character. Surely she'd keep something on her in case she got disarmed?)
As far as the dialogue between the sisters, I'd expect Fusion either to fully and utterly forgive her sister (though that's a bit sappy), or instead plant some sort of seed of doubt in Gravity that she could not uproot. I also expected a guilt trip, but that did not occur either. (Something along the lines of "you wouldn't stand by me, but I'll die to keep you safe" in regards to Fusion annihilating Salrath.)
Gravity was also put down like an animal, and succumbed faster than Fusion despite having the advantages of a healthy body and a working connection to Luna. Either I underestimate the strength of the blessing (surely seeing her sister get SHOT in front of her would have been enough to spur her to act?), or I underestimate Grav's love for Fusion. They seem to have a strong familial relationship, and I can't picture Gravity throwing Fusion to the wolves. With that said, I expected much more from her, even if it was her weeping and holding Fusion as she succumbed to her injuries. (That would not break the bounds of the blessing, right?)
With that said, Gravity had a connection with the celestial bodies. I'm surprised that she was not cloned either- either an early line from Korn along the lines of "funding's getting far too tight" would have explained this. If Salrath was the only character to know of Gravity's connection to the moon, then it does make sense. As is though, there's no mention as to what happened to the moon either. (Though that's much harder to do. Maybe it began to fall out of orbit or something? It's hard to explain how a hunk of dead space rock can become even more lifeless.)
All that said, that's what I found objectionable. Granted, I am nit-picking and trying to pull it together how I would have envisioned a final fight between these characters. It was a fine chapter, but I did not expect such a quick and unapologetic end to Gravity and Fusion and their story arc.
As to future stuff? Well, I hope that this isn't the serious end to DoW&S. I really don't want it to end now, and not like this. (Though I do like the ambiguity in regards to the cloned Fusion. That was thought-provoking and unexpected.) I really hope that this is seen as a 'bad end', and not used as a canonical part of the story, and instead you continue the canon where Gravity KO'd Fusion at the end of chapter 18. I have faith in your writing abilities and your planning, but reconciling events that transpired in chapter 19 would be exceedingly difficult considering that your Discord 'wild card' was shredded by order. You'd need to re-write the chapter so that instead Discord opened up a rift in space-time and jumped to another dimension where Fusion and Gravity are somehow still alive. Not particularly satisfying, but it'd be possible for Fusion and Gravity to be shot with tranqs or something and have that scene with Salrath still play out (though if BULLETS didn't stop Fusion in time, I don't see how a non-lethal alternative would unless it was instant.)
Apologies for the wall of text, but...well... you know how I reply. Please read these ramblings with a grain of salt, as they are mostly based on personal preference rather than anything set out in the canon of your work.
It was a...intriguing ending. But, honestly I'm really glad it's an alternative one, for various reasons. One being that it doesn't let my mind go, it still replays the scene where dying Fusion lethargically moves her sight on Gravity, her eyes empty and dead while she herself sorrowfully fades . It's just so unjust and sad...
Another, is that I simply want more to read. Moar moar. It's addictive.
Butthurt or not, I crave for more and think the idea is too entertaining to let it end like that...scratch that it's too thrilling to let it end like that...I would like to think.
984659
Long post requires long thinking time...
On the final scene:
I’m possibly hamstrung by my tendency for realism over all else. While a lot of what you say would make for more satisfaction, I have doubts thing would work that way in reality (yeh, magic ponies, I know). So:
Fusion knows she has one chance to kill Salrath; there can be no gloating, no satisfaction other than that of a job done. Salrath is a trained killer, yes, but only of other People. If she had stayed on her paws it might be a different story, but even then I’m not sure she could have killed Fusion fast enough to stop the pony with just a knife. She had one, but by that time she also had a broken arm, which wouldn’t have helped her draw it.
Salrath wasn’t going to give Fusion long to talk, no matter what, so she said as much as she was allowed to. Also what would be the point of planting doubt or guilt tripping Gravity? All it could do is torture the mare.
Gravity: I think you missed a bit there -- she was Blessed, collared and ordered to stay back. Picture this: she sees Fusion attack Salrath, and does what? The order makes her hesitate, but she tries her magic anyway (gets shocked by the collar), then gets blasted by the Blessing for failing. She then catches a stray round almost immediately (“The sound of something soft being hit...”), and dies.
Grav not being cloned: They care about the sun, not the moon, but who knows what else Korn’s project involves?
Plan is to restart from the end of CH18, unless you want to go with the metafic of the author being tortured by Celestia to do a rewrite (a la Apology), in which case you could read right through. Less keen myself, but it is an option. Also, there is a little bit of Chaos remaining in CH19, its 'decoy'.
Thanks for the comment!