Ascend Deleted Scenes #9 · 9:08am Feb 23rd, 2013
These last two chapters were the hardest to write. To prove it, let's dive into the cornucopia of cut scenes. I hit a wall when writing Chapter 16 and finally, in a bout of frustration, cut over half the chapter. It ended up working and I like the finished chapter far more than the early version. Instead of showing each scene individually, I'll just show the entire cut section.
She wilted.
Celestia gave Luna a hard stare.
“While that may be true for now, as Luna can easily tell you, ponies opinions can change. With a little time and effort, no one will mistake you for a princess.”
Twilight's spirits were bolstered by Celestia's statement.
“I want to give you fair warning though, Twilight. If you accept the crown, it's almost guaranteed that you'll be chosen as Regent while we're on our vacation.”
“And what's going to happen if I refuse?”
“We'll more than likely have to pick Prince Blueblood.”
Luna looked over to Celestia in shock. Before she could talk, another voice interrupted.
“What?!”
All eyes turned to Rarity.
“You simply cannot allow him to be in charge of the country! I won't allow it.”
“I'm sorry Rarity, but there aren't many alternatives at this time. Cadance is too busy with the Crystal Empire, all of the Dukes would be too concerned with their so called fiefdoms to care about the whole country, and the last time I had a non-royal as Regent, he went insane, had half the National Defense Council locked up, and tried to assassinate me in a battle on top of Mount Canterhorn during a raging thunderstorm.”
“Really?”
Celestia put a hoof to her chin.
“Well, he had the thunderstorm and Canterhorn right—Burrow always had a flare for the dramatic—but he forgot one important detail.”
Twilight was curious.
“What was that?”
“That he was allergic to peanut butter and I had just finished spending the last three weeks of my vacation touring the Equestrian Peanut and Sassafras Company.”
Luna was just as curious as Twilight.
“Sister, you spent three weeks touring a peanut company?”
“And sassafras. You would understand, if you'd ever had real root beer.”
Twilight's curiosity only mounted.
“But, Princess, I thought the Ministry of the Interior banned sassafras due to it's health risks?”
Celestia sighed.
“They did but that's neither here nor there. Now, where was I?”
“Burrow's peanut allergy?”
“Oh yes. So, before he could plunge the ancient Knife of Ayfuc'Refioadi into me—which really wouldn't have done more than give me a stab wound—I shoved some peanut brittle into his mouth. He inflated like a balloon and I had the Guard roll him away. So you see, Rarity, that's why our options are limited.”
Rarity reluctantly nodded.
Twilight looked to the two princesses.
“I-I'm going need some time to think this through.”
“Of course, Twilight.” the two alicorns turned to leave, “And remember, you have your friends to help you. Take as much time as you need. Parliament’s not going anywhere.”
The two alicorns exited the coozy, bookshelf laden room and walked into a hallway.
“Sister! I thought we had agreed that Lord Fancypants would become Regent in the event that Twilight refused?”
“We did, but I wanted to give Twilight a little more incentive. If she refuses, it's going to make things extremely complicated—both for her and us.”
The purple alicorn crumpled to the ground.
“How am I going to decide? T-This is too big of a decision to make.”
Pinkie moved over to the increasingly distraught alicorn.
“That's why we're here, isn't it? To help you.”
Twilight smiled lightly.
“Yeah, you're right. But that won't make things any easier.”
“Well then, let's make it easy.” Pinkie pulled out an oversized commemorative bit that had the shoreline of a lake stamped on one side and the outline of a forest on the other from behind her back, “Flip a coin. Heads—err shoreline, you become a princess. Tai—forest, you stay a librarian.” Pinkie smiled at her simple solution.
The five mares and one baby dragon looked at the pink pony in horror.
“That's your solution?”
Dash turned to her.
“What are you going to do?”
Rarity looked over to Dash.
“It's obvious. She must say 'yes'.”
“And why's that?”
“Are you mad? Turning down an opportunity like this would be absolutely ludicrous. Just think: the power, the prestige, the popularity. It's every mare's dream come true.”
Twilight sat in silent thought.
Celestia looked at Twilight.
“Have you made your decision?”
“I have.”
End of Chapter Sixteen.
Those gaps would have been filled in with scenes and connected together. They don't really represent cutscenes or transitions. As you can see, originally, the chapter was going to end with a bit of a cliffhanger on Twilight's decision. With me deciding to release the chapters together, the cliffhanger became redundant. This isn't the only cut sections though.
This next scene I loved, but just could not fit it into either version of Chapter 16. Thus, I was forced to cut it. I like it so much, though, that it's getting its own oneshot (that I'll probably never finish).
“Could I sleep on it. It's been a long day. What with Parliament, and your royal court, and than there was the High Court.”
“Absolutely, Twilight. You can take as much time as you want.”
“Thanks, Princess.”
Twilight wandered through an endless dark void.
“H-Hello? Is anypony there?”
“Unworthy.”
She spun around in the direction of the faint voice.
“W-What? Who's there?”
Another voice emerged from the darkness.
“What makes her so special?”
Twilight turned toward the voice.
“What do you want?”
Another voice rang out in malice.
“I'm disgusted by this. And to think, I used to like her.”
“W-What?”
“Until she became that thing with wings.”
“Please, w-what do you want?”
The voices in the darkness continued.
“Her friends will all die while she lives on. Won't that make a great friendship report?”
Twilight began to run.
“She never cared about her friends. She'd never accept getting wings if she did.”
Tears ran down her eyes.
“N-No, it's not true!”
“I hate her for what she did!”
“Please!”
“She better change back!”
“I—I—I can't.”
“She's too powerful.”
“I—I...”
“I hope she dies and gets replaced.”
Blinded by tears, Twilight didn't see where she was going and ran into something.
“Waste.”
She crumpled to the ground and curled up into a ball while continuing to cry.
“Somepony help me!”
“I hate her!”
“S-Somebody help!”
The voices stated to overwhelm her.
“Hate.”
“Useless.”
“P-Please, I'm sorry.”
“Horrible.”
“Abomination.”
“I-I'm sorry.”
Light banished the darkness. Blurred by her tears, Twilight saw six figures approach.
“Happiness.”
“Laughter.”
“Loyalty.”
“Joy.”
“Compassion.”
“Faith.”
Twilight and the six figures hugged.
“Friendship.”
[-----]
The once restless purple alicorn finally settled into a peaceful sleep as a dark blue alicorn looked on.
“Oh, Twilight. I know it is difficult, but you will prevail. With your friends help, I know you will.”
I wonder what could have possibly inspired that scene?
Finally, a cut scene from the stinger. I originally wanted to make the stinger extremely vague, to keep you guessing as to who the antagonist of the sequel was, but I felt it was too abrupt and decided to expand the scene. This expansion caused me to abandon those vagueness plans. It's a good thing, though, as it'll help prevent the sequel from being too cluttered.
A stallion burst into an office.
“Ma'am, news to report. Twilight Sparkle has been coronated as Crown Princess.”
The pony threw a newspaper with a “Princess Coronation” headline onto a desk.
The mare sitting behind the desk looked at the newspaper.
“Well, well, well. Princess Twilight Sparkle. It appears Equestria's found its Regent.”
“Shall I begin to implement the plan?”
“No. Subtlety is key. If we rush things, than it'll all fall apart. We have a whole year to put this plan into action.”
“What should I do?”
“Contact Archmage Morning Star. Tell him I want to have a meeting. If this is going to succeed, the Arcane Magic Council's cooperation is critical.”
As the stallion turned to leave, he heard the mare talk to herself.
“Oh, Celestia. We may only just be able to stop your asinine plans for Discord, but you won't be able to stop us.”
The stallion departed the mare's office.
She smiled.
“Nopony will.”
Ascend was great to write and I hope you all enjoyed the deleted scenes from it. Even though none of these scenes ended up in the story, they still were important. They let me know to remain cautious. If there's one lesson they've taught me, it's to never just assume what you write is going to work. Many times, even some great ideas have to be sacrificed in the name of storytelling. See you in “Regent Deleted Scenes #1” (and yes, Regent already has a deleted scene).
Huh...
I think I understand why.
I'm a little disappointed that the peanut battle scene didn't make it in. It's as hilarious as it is ridiculous.
The term isn't 'coronated' it's 'crowned'. To crown is the verb, a coronation is the even it which a person is crowned. See the difference?
Sorry if that came off as too pedantic.
Blueblood? Really?!? BLUEBLOOD? D:
DOOOOOOMED D:
Darn, pity the bit with the stopping-a-coup-with-peanut-butter tale got cut, I absolutely loved it.