My Little Pony: I TOLD YOU THE TOYS ACTUALLY MATTERED + Mini fic

http://ponibooru.413chan.net/post/view/131034

See that comic? It surfaced a while ago and many people claimed it as fake (I don't blame em, sure looks dodgy as hell).

I intended to write a parody fanfic based on it, but it never got further than about a page, so I scrapped it.

I actually care about the MLP toys to some extent, being a toy collector by hobby, and it kinda annoys me when people dismiss all the toys as being useless garbage and having no direct impact on the show. This kind of view is just totally wrong and ignorant. The current generation of pony toys are actually quite good for what they are; toys for LITTLE GIRLS. Y'KNOW, THE TARGET AUDIENCE? I'd say they're superior to previous generations of pony toys, but girl toys aren't exactly my expertise. They've always influenced the show to some extent, an old interview revealed that Twilight Sparkle's balloon was only put there because Hasbro asked them to because they made a toy of it. Same goes for the train in season 2 (in fact, the toy line not only has a motorized train, but a whole line of re-released brushables with train accessories).

I'm not saying the toys are perfect and of course they're often not show-accurate or just make up something that is stupid and doesn't make sense but whatever that's not the point.

The point is, remember a while back when they announced the "Wedding Castle Playset" with Shining Armor and Princess Cadence? Yeah, the inclusion of another alicorn kinda messes things up. Naturally, a lot of people dismissed it as "stupid toy crap doesn't effect the show".

Well, have you read the latest episode synopsis?

WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!?

But then I remembered, third party pony stuff tend to use crappy vectors in a really fake way. The storybook app was that way, and it turned out to be right about the founding of Equestria as shown in Hearth Warming Eve (Albeit abridged and dumbed down for the target audience). So I thought...

What if the above comic... IS CANON?

And so with that thought, I wrote this litte diddy in five minutes earlier today instead of the proper fanfic I wanted to write! ENJOY!

[Warning: some bad language]

-------------------------------------------------------

THIS SUMMER

"Twilight Sparkle has been kidnapped by ziggers. Are you a bad enough filly to rescue Twilight?".

RAINBOW DASH

"Hurry Fluttershy! We can't be late to the wedding at the Wedding Castle Playset!"

"Wedding Castle... what? Rainbow, what the feather are you talking about?"

TERRY

"What's you name again squirt?"

"What!? Rainbow Dash, how could you forget my name? The name of your biggest fan! The leader of the Rainbow Dash fanclub! The filly who joins you at every-"

"That's it! Terry! C'mon Terry, we gotta go rescue Twilight!"

"I... but... my name..."

"You coming or what Terry?"

"...I-I'm coming Rainbow Dash...*sniff*"

A FELLOWSHIP OF FRIENDS

"We're all here for you Twilight dear"

"At every step of the way!"

"We'll always be here to help you..."

...AND APPLEJACK TOO

"What the hay is THAT suppose to mean!?"

MUST STRUGGLE TO TRIUMPH

"Yeah, you go on ahead Rainbow Dash. We'll be here in the Castle if you need us."

"Are you bucking serious? Why the hay aren't you coming with me?"

"What? Go with you? Into the Ghetto-Ass Forest with all those filthy zebras? No thanks!"

"I'll go with you Rainbow Dash"

"Alright! At least Terry here's with me!"

"Rainbow Dash, are you sure it's alright to take a filly into a dangerous part of the forest, crawling with criminals and degenerate sub-equine scum?"

"I don't see a problem with this. Besides, Terry can hold his own. He once spent a whole month in the Everfree Forest, surviving only on bears he killed with his eye lasers and rocket fists!"

"...Rainbow dear, have you been at the ketamine again?"

"BUCK YOU I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT"

AGAINST THE FORCES OF EVIL

"Once my plan is complete, I'll finally be able to rule as the sole Princess of Equestria! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ey yo yo, we ziggers gon be part o da new equzzizle rite?"

"... Just keep eating your watermelon"

FOR THE GREATEST TREASURE OF ALL

"Rainbow Dash and Terry. As reward for your deeds, I, Princess Celestia, hereby present you with this."

"...It's a balloon..."

"It is a Royal Hot Air Balloon."

"It's exactly the same as Twilight Sparkle's balloon..."

"Actually, it is Twilight Sparkle's balloon. She recently invented another flying device with your friend Pinkie Pie and no longer needs this. With it, you may fly freely across the skies of Equestria."

"But we can already fly, we're pegasi."

"Oh. Well... um..."

"I can't fly yet-"

"Shut up Terry"

BLOOD WILL FALL

"Presenting the Royal Couple!"

"What? Twilight, why are you the one getting married to-"

"BLUEBLOOD!"

"STAYPUFF MARSHMELLOW LADY! I thought I ate you last night!"

"What!? How DARE you! I am Rarity of Ponyville!"

"...Who?"

"I was there at the maiden voyage of the S.S. Fabulous?"

"Fleur de Lis?"

"I got cake on you at the gala."

"AGH! EVIL CAKE LADY! YOU SHALL NOT STAIN ME AGAIN! I just got this suit cleaned!"

"Suit? You're wearing a bowtie and a fake collar"

"... times have been hard on the Blueblood family"

"Wait, why AM I getting married? Where the hell is my brother?"

UNDER A BLACKENED EQUESTRIA

"Hey look! Zecora's here!"

"Ey yo, Rainbro mah zigga! How's it hanging in the hizzouse?"

"Rainbow, I don't think that's Zecora..."

"Don't be silly Twilight, she looks exactly like she always is! Except for the hat. Nice hat!"

"Respect da pimp crown yo"

"Word, brotha"

"But he- er, she's not even rhyming!"

"Sho I am, bitch.
Mah namez Zecora
Tribal decora
Ah make potions wid da flora
Any ho disrespect me
Mah pimpin hoof is gonna floor-ya"

"Aww yeah Z-man, your phat rhymes are wicked sick! How bout we hook up later and shoot some b-ball on the court?"

"Ah'm always down fo sum b-ball wid mah Rainbow brotha"

"Rainbow, you're scaring me..."

MY LITTLE PONY: SPACE JAM IS SLAMMIN'

~COME ON AND SLAM~
~WELCOME TO THE JAM~
~COME ON AND SLAM~
~IF YOU WANNA JAM~

"Rainbow Dash, why are we playing basket ball? Aren't we suppose to be saving Twilight?"

"Aw c'mon Terry, shut up and slam!"

IN CINEMAS DECEMBER 21 2012