A very important message from the guy who usually makes spider jokes · 6:38am Feb 14th, 2013
Societal norms tell us that making a habit of getting drunk alone is the first step to becoming an alcoholic. Conventional wisdom tells us that drinking while depressed or excessively emotional is a recipe for disaster. And good old fashioned common sense tells us that drinking alone while depressed is the second fastest way to end up in the emergency room (the fastest is to eat Taco Bell).
Well, that's what happened to me, sixteen months ago. I could count the amount of people who know the following story on one hand, but I think it's finally time I explained it.
Food service is one of the most stressful businesses out there. When the dinner rush comes and tickets are flying in, working in a kitchen can be as stressful as disarming a bomb.
I'll be honest: a year and a half ago, my life was a mess. Things grew more difficult by the day, and nothing I did made me feel any better. On one particularly fateful Friday night, everything collided at once. We had a line out the door at my workplace the entire night, I had only days before been shut down by a girl I had been pursuing for months, and my college coursework was backlogged as hell. Noticing how stressed I was, my boss decided to send me home. It turns out that was the worst possible route to go down.
When I got home around 8:30 that night, I was on the verge of a breakdown. So how did I respond? In the most logical and adult way I could, of course: I got wasted out of my mind on two and a half bottles of wine. That's right: 65 ounces of wine in about an hour an a half. The last I remember, I was playing video games around ten o'clock. The next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital bed at four in the morning, my mother and father on either side of me, ghostly white and red-eyed.
My mother told me that I had been in an alcoholic coma for about four hours, and at the time my blood alcohol content was tested, I registered .25. I later learned that at its peak, my BAC was .35. That's right: one more decent-sized glass of wine, and I never would have woken up.
It was horrifying. My family, after a long day of work, school etc. had to come home and find me passed out on my bed in a pool of bile, choking on my own vomit. I can't even describe the shame I felt.
Now you might think that after such a close shave with death, I would have a new lease on life.
Wrong.
I was more depressed than ever. The issues that led to my hospitalization still hadn't been corrected, and the kicker? I was now saddled with almost $6,000 in medical bills. Instead of trying to make the best of what I still had, I fell deeper into the pit I was digging. Everything culminate November 2011, when I came within inches of suicide. So why am I still here?
Call it fate. Call it divine intervention. Call it whatever you want, but sobbing in the darkness of my room with a glass of bleach in hand, something possessed me to check Memebase one last time. What a weird thing to do before killing yourself, right? And it just so happens that the first meme on the front page was a brony meme, starring Applejack.
I had heard about bronies on numerous occasions, but I had never been interested in watching the show. I figured, "Hell, what do I have to lose at this point?" And so I watched an episode.
At four in the morning, my entire view of my life had changed. I realized how selfish suicide would have been; I realized how many friends I would leave behind, all the experiences I would miss out on. I watched every episode in a week, and when I finished with that, I read every brony meme, including the vote pages.
And then, I wrote my first ever fanfic; everything changed all over again. For the first time in months, I felt like a part of a welcoming, loving community. I made more friends than I can count, and fanfiction awoke emotions in me I hadn't felt for a very long time.
For every one of you reading this, your comments, your encouragement and your camaraderie have changed my life. You gave me a new lease on life. May of last year, I wasn't happy-go-lucky, per se, but I was stable; then, everything changed for a third time.
An old friend approached me and asked me to the play the part of Tommy Djilas in The Music Man. To be frank, that show was frustrating in countless ways, but not only did I make some wonderful friends during it, I met the girl of my dreams. Last September, my amazing girlfriend Shelby and I went on our first date, Ever since then, I've been walking on air in a way I can't even explain. She's just absolutely perfect in every way, and I have never been so in love with someone. She adds a myriad of color to what might otherwise be a very gray world, and I thank the heavens every day that I stuck with The Music Man, and that I managed to find someone so outstanding in every way. She inspires me, and she makes me want to grow to be a better man.
So the moral of the story, folks? Life sucks. It really does. It's like a newborn child: difficult, a constant headache and the source of more than a few tears. But it's also potential: every single life can grow to be amazing when we put our minds to it. We're all born with talent and a love for something, or someone, and when cared for an nurtured, like a child, even a broken life can be molded into something beautiful beyond description. We can accomplish anything we set our minds to with determination and insatiable curiosity.
Never stop living. Never stop improving. Never lie down and accept the hurt or the pain. You are the master of your destiny, and you can make beauty where oblivion once stood.
To everyone on in this community, thank you for making me feel like I belong again. To my family, thank you for your understanding and unwavering support, even in my darkest hour. And to Shelby, my love, thank you for being the great thing that ever happened to me. Without each and every one of you, I would be just another face in the crowd. Because of you, I can be Josh Meihaus.
I love you all.
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/796/447px-Manlytears3.jpg
Bronies are just awesome.
I'm glad everything is going better for you.
*whips away some tears*
...
*hugs*
That's touching... I got drunk out of frustration too a few times, I didn't end up in a coma but I woke up the next day feeling like shit, so you have all my sympathy.
I wish I could give you a big hug, man. I feel so sad that you went through that, but very happy that you made it out the other side.
Feels like a story you should tell Lauren and/or the show team if you ever have a chance.
I'm glad you stuck around with us.
THE FEEEEELS!
I'm immune to them, BUT STILL!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting inspired by this. This is truly an amazing story.
Glad we helped you when you needed it most.
Ah yes suicide. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. Glad you got better
I once jokingly said that ponies are the best cure for depression and suicide... then I thought about my own life and realized, hey it's true. I was on that nasty downward spiral myself when I finally gave ponies a chance. Suicide has never been an option for me, if I die it'll be from taking a knife or gunshot at work, where it'll have an ounce of meaning... But my mental health wasn't good. Ponies brought me back to my more annoyingly cheerful self... Praise ponies!
This story is nearly too heart-wrenching to be real. Of course, there is no one better at writing scripts for tear-squeezers than life itself.
Man, what a post to share on Valentine's Day.
Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better.And that you decided to stick with us.
And some yadda-yadda after that.
+1
*slow clap*
Good end.
Mr. Meihaus, however old or young you may be;
I am so incredibly hit by this man, legitimately this absolutely struck my centre to read. Sincerely, with my whole heart I can not tell you enough how grateful it makes me that you have found something in life that inspires you, and a wonderful girl at that, along with all us silly, crazy bronies! This may sound weird but if you ever just want someone to talk to I'd love to talk with you at any time. Just message me at shioku21@gmail.com
I wish I could give you the biggest hug, and I'm glad to count you among those people I call friend, even though I don;t know you well!