Notes: Chapter Four

I was reading Amit's interview for the inclusion of Solace in the Vault, and something he said really stuck out to me; expositive characterisation. To quote the whole sentence, "While it is annoying to see perfectly good stories glanced over by ‘respectable’ people just because they make them feel funny in the pants, it is far more pathetic in a sense to see people fawn over hundred-thousand-word-long wrecks of clumsy, expositive characterisation and unintelligible grammar and wallprose in a faint imitation of ‘respectable literature’ just because they’re impressed at the author’s priapism."
Note: A priapism is a medical condition where the individual remains 'excited' for over four hours.

Anyone involved in the fanfiction community, and this site particularly, will have heard of Show vs. Tell. And, in essence, that little phrase is a warning against long chunks of exposition, considered 'telling' readers what is happening, instead of showing them.

Enough author's struggle with this concept as it is, without throwing characterisation into the mix, but Amit is essentially talking about the same thing; 'telling' readers about character development, instead of 'showing' it to them.

Consider;
Twilight rose to her hooves, eyes flashing as she stared down her opponent. Ears laid back, flat against her skull, and fur quivering, each hair standing on end, she tensed, preparing to meet his charge, versus, Twilight was furious. Standing, she focused herself on the beast that opposed her. As he charged, she called on that rage, that determination, and brought it against him.
And;
Luna walked through the darkness, each step softly echoing in the empty space around her. She listened to that sound, resonating ever outwards, comparing it to her own inner purpose. With a cocked head, she closed her eyes, feeling the ground and the air, the incessant wind that followed her wherever she went. There was no escape, yet still she walked, searching, versus, Luna walked through nothing, an emptiness that reflected her inner confusion. Why had she come here? The action now seemed futile, just a gesture against the winds of fate. But with each step, she felt her resolve grow, the spark of hope fighting back against the darkness threatening to envelop her.

(I made those examples up just now, so don't read anything into them)

In the first example, I would much prefer the first approach--which is clearly the 'Show'. The minor details of the scene bring to life Twilight's emotions--we understand rage and determination without ever using those words.

But in the second, I lean towards the second approach--the 'Tell'. 'Showing' is considered by many to be objectively better--a standard to aspire to. I would content that each approach has its place, and while 'Showing' is more appropriate most of the time, 'Telling', or at least 'Telling-done-well' offers a level of clarity that is nigh impossible to match. I look at the Luna's example here, and from the first can see multiple things the author could be trying to portray.

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that there is a place for everything. Most stories are, or should be, told near-exclusively with 'Show' in mind. But there are times when clarity supercedes that.

In this chapter, Luna finds herself stuck in a prison of sorts. That strikes me as a place, if ever there was one, for 'expositive characterisation'. Movements and physical actions become essentially meaningless compared to inner dialogue, and a thousand-word string describing each tiny physical change in response to that inner dialogue would be a confusing, boring, mess.

What do you think? Am I making elaborate narrative excuses for poor writing and a clumsy exploration of Luna? Should I rewrite the entire segment with Amit's expositive characterisation in mind?

In other events, Twilight and Rainbow get a little bit more screen-time, and Shining Armour makes his appearance. The Twilight v. Trixie dynamic always stood out as a bit strange to me, especially within the message of the show. I loved Magic Duel, but the ending felt ... hollow. It seemed to me that Twilight could've handled it better, and that's what she realises here.

In other news, the schedule for updating is going to have to change a bit. I've gotten my timetable for next semester and the nights I've been posting updates--Wednesday--is completely full. So instead, I'll be moving to Friday, by delaying a day for two weeks. Next chapter around midday Thursday (roughly sixteen hours later than normal)

Comments

[Mister Morden]

I enjoyed this chapter, the little tidbits about how RD runs the Wonderbolts amused me.

Trixie's cover got blown. How that plays out now should be interesting.