SSR: Baking Cupcakes · 4:24pm Feb 9th, 2013
You know that feeling when there are baby carnivores in a zoo near you (even though there obviously are no zoos in the third world) which turn some permutation of years old and the newspaper reports about it, finishing with the semi-joke that they'd obviously be celebrating with meat cupcakes, and all you can think is, "Oh god why,", but none of your surroundings (which are pretty well-informed for pony haters) catch on?
Also, I am a cinnamon twist.
On that note, here's Baking Cupcakes.
Grasslands, desert, forest, jungle, ice world, fire world, boss
I have to admit, when I opened this fic, I was rubbing my hands with glee of another bad author to punish for ever showing his face at my publication site without first practicing for a year or two. Afterall, a Randumb story about Pinkie baking cupcakes (sadly, without twilit sprinkling), with some innuendo, produced by a dude whose total production times the amount of watchers which he has still cannot exceed my oneshot length, that kind of spells out shit by itself. Or doesn't it?
Well, anyhow. Briefly put, I was disappointed, by the fact that it's fucking awesome. Okay, maybe that's speaking a bit too much. It's just that I expected it to be a terrible mess of bad language, horrible format, and no description at all, only to find that this fic does all of those usual critique points perfectly right! Somewhat. There are occasional breaks where there need none be, paragraphs are not indented, and actually, the line breaks are really frequent.
It kind of reminds me of an older self, actually. Even though I am the older self and that kiddo* can fuck off. Dialogue and corresponding action onto the same line, separated by commata if it's simultaneous and a dot if not!
Anyway. So we start out with Twilight reshelving her library for the third time. That day. Ugh, great on the cliché use already, aren't ya. She finally finishes, Pinkie comes around and stuffs a cupcake into her mouth. Some time later, she awakes in darkness and- oh wait. Actually, she just wants some taste-testing, after which Twilight collapses and- oh wait. Ah, am I not original. Okay, to the point, Pinkie wrote a book. A cookbook. Almost caught my attention there, sister!
She convinces Twilight to use the recipes within, which turns out shit, then proves that they should not and redoes it herself, which turns out not shit. Clear case, judge! Actually, it's kinda impressive how Pinkie manages to make cupcakes out of saw dust, chocolate, and egg shells. Y'know how he explains that? I'd like to know that too, because he doesn't at all. If Pinkie does it, it just magically turns out good, because she's good at baking.
And because of that, Pinkie's book must never be published, to which she sadly trots off and tosses herself down Ghastly Gorge. Not really, of course, Twilight manages to cheer her up with something that sounds very, very close to the usual vibe of "Give peas a chaaaaaance," showing how everypony has her special talent and she can do only that and only she can do that. Just don't try to think about what that'd mean for capitalism.
Aaand... it's over. Huh. Not much content, now is there. On the other hoof, what can you expect from a oneshot length. Putting it into that relation, it actually contains fairly much, albethat d'aww and such. And not making any sense.
*Sigh* It's hard writing about this, really. It's just not bad enough. Don't let this get to your head, neither is it really that fucking awesome. It's just that something which ends with the words, "Fuck this" simply cannot be bad. That's against the law or something.
Just one thing, where's the bloody innuendo? When you read such a premise, you can't deny that you instantly think of some kind of sexual organs' excretions. So where is it? As I see it, this fic could easily be read by foals and they'd be none the wiser!
Yes, it could be more. It could be more interesting. It could put its horizontal rulers above the time indication instead of below them. But for what it does, this fic does it fine. It actually uses correct language. It's nice. What more do you want from me, I am a cinnamon twist!
Inb4 alicorn Twilight was a two-minute joke.
Wrote a d'aww fic once. ONCE.
Artificial "Toraka" Selection
I welcome newcomers. So long as they don't trample the carpet and write HiE d'aww. Actually, I have something remotely like that planned for the near future...
Fuck this.
All of your stories are d'aww for you, are they not?
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Well, thanks for the review! I greatly appreciate it. I made some formatting changes, so it should be cleaned up a bit now. I also now specify in the description that it is a small amount of innuendo, but I rated it teen because "better safe than sorry." As for the explanation of how the cupcakes turn out perfectly when Pinkie bakes them... sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/401187_314665658577109_338098960_n.jpg