Filk is Magic, vol 1 · 4:52am Feb 8th, 2013
As it seems guidelines have changed over time, I found myself unable to submit a collection of filk songs to FIMFic. So, I decided to post the occasional filk here, via the blog.
Enjoy!
Pirate Captain Unicorn
(to the tune of Modern Major General - look it up, young'ns)
I am the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn
I've been so very fabulous since that great day when I was born
I know the princess sisters and can quote matters historical
From Discord's reign to Nightmare's bane to reunions most beautiful
I'm very well acquainted too, with the dynamics nautical
So do not think you'll outsail me, you'll find that I am not a fool
Without a high-seas venture, I am likely to be rather blue...
But since I own my vessel that won't happen, I can promise you!
(But since she owns her vessel, that won't happen! She can promise you!)
(But since she owns her vessel, that won't happen! She can promise you!)
(But since she owns her vessel, that won't happen! She can promise you!)
I'm very good at haute couture and pret-a-porter finery
My customers are happier than Berry in a winery
In short, I'm just as fabulous as I was the day I was born
I am the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn
(In short, she's just as fabulous as she was the day she was born)
(She is the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn)
I know my fashion history, from poodle skirts and bobby socks
Through pleather, lace-and-lipstick, to ensembles that can sweep the docks
Being shipboard’s no excuse for pirates not to look their best
And I can safely say that my ship's crew are always nicely dressed
For shipshape's definition you need not look any farther, dears
From stem to stern and fore to aft, the envy of all buccaneers
A finer vessel that has sailed, the ocean's never seen before...
And if you can prove otherwise, I'll eat Pinkie Pie's pinafore!
(And if you can prove otherwise, she'll eat Pinkie Pie's pinafore!)
(And if you can prove otherwise, she'll eat Pinkie Pie's pinafore!)
(And if you can prove otherwise, she'll eat Pinkie Pie's pinafore!)
So how do we pay all our bills, and still have funds for uniforms?
A lady does not kiss and tell, but I have skill beyond the norm.
In short, I'm just as fabulous as I was the day I was born
I am the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn
(In short, she's just as fabulous as she was the day she was born)
(She is the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn)
In fact, I can tell from afar the location of treasures fair
My cutie mark and special gift for piracy's beyond compare
And with my crew, our talents mesh to make a force worth reckoning
If it's a challenge that you seek, you'll find my shipmates beckoning!
So if you see sails radiant break the horizon out at sea
Know that I've never once backed down when captaining the Harmony
You'd best prepare to meet your match when facing mighty Rarity...
Through cannon fire you’ll learn what I mean by generosity!
(Through cannon fire you’ll learn what she means by generosity!)
(Through cannon fire you’ll learn what she means by generosity!)
(Through cannon fire you’ll learn what she means by generosity!)
My military knowledge, though I'm elegant and glamorous,
Has never seen its better—you might say I'm downright infamous!
In short, I'm just as fabulous as I was the day I was born
I am the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn!
(In short, she's just as fabulous as she was the day she was born)
(She is the very model of a Pirate Captain unicorn)
Not only do I not have to look it up, I've been in the very operetta it's from. /hipster
Best. Rarity. Song. Ever.
.. Damn, blogs need a like feature. Also, someone hurry up and post a recording of this, please. I have a terrible singing voice, and I managed to make it sound not half bad, so a better vocalist than I (which is not difficult, I asure you) should be able to make this sound marvelous.
Two hooves up.
In Equestria, of course, the original tune is a mnemonic device for the lineage of the ancient unicorn kings and queens.
I wonder if we could convince Tabitha to give it a go?