Rough Draft of Dark Alternative Ch. 3: How Twilight Meets The Little Girl

Edit: Might as well add the part before Twilight meets the little girl because the conversation between Lyra and Fluttershy will change as well (and to give you more than two paragraphs to read), since I don't like the way of how they say their words in this scene.../Edit

Here's part of my rough draft from when Twilight meets the little girl in the story. I'm showing you guys this because today I'm going to resume working on it after I make my post and it's going to be changed when I finally get it realized (which I hope is sometime soon). I think I went way overboard on describing the field that Twilight, the girl, and the brony is supposed to be meeting in. Which is supposed to be a large field surrounded by trees with a patch of grass, I think I made it bigger than it should have been and brought in a lot of unnecessary detail to describe the field. Also, I originally I wanted the little girl to be dressed sterotypical style of wearing a dress, but I changed her clothing to be a little more modern because I felt I was being too sterotypical, so I'm hoping I wroter her right as well. Since this is a rough draft I'll just keep going until I finished the chapter before I make any real changes to it.

“Woah, this is amazing!” A light green unicorn pony with a striped white and green mane and tail said as she stared in awe at the room she entered.

A soft giggle was heard from a yellow Pegasus pony with a long pink mane and tail that was hovering above the unicorn. The yellow Pegasus opened her large uniquely oval shaped eyes at the light green unicorn as she slowly landed in front of her, “I knew you would say something like that, Lyra. Normally I would get ‘that’s really big’ or my personal favorite, ‘it’s bigger on the inside,’” She said with a soft smile while containing her giggle.

“Heh, I see someone’s a fan of the- wait, who’s that?” Lyra asks as she pointed at a purple unicorn pony that seems to be deeply reading a book. “Isn’t that…?” the light green unicorn tilted her head with a raised eyebrow as she tries to remember the other pony.

“Yes, that’s Twilight Sparkle over there. Don’t mind her though; she’s always been into those books she’s been reading lately.” The yellow Pegasus said as she stepped in front of Lyra.

“But why is she here Fluttershy?”

“Well, whenever I have the chance I keep trying to introduce her to new ponies to get her to talk but no matter how hard I try, the only thing she does is just glance at us before going back to reading her book.” Fluttershy explained sadly.

“If she wants to be left alone then why don’t you just leave her in the cage?” Lyra suggested with a raised right hoof with a questioning expression on her face.

Fluttershy sighed sadly, “There are times when I actually think about doing this, but I couldn’t shake off this feeling that she really needs a friend to be with her, now more than ever since she’s taken a code of silence. I feel like if I leave her alone for too long she will keep her true self hidden away forever.”

“Her true self?”

“I think this whole ‘keeping her head in the books’ is her way of coping with the changes that was forced upon us all. Or rather this is her way to shut herself out of the real world, to keep herself from facing the reality of the situation we’re really in. I’d like to believe that she had a wonderful life or any life at all, like the rest of us before we were turned into ponies. You see, before I was turned into a pony I was a shy person, terribly shy. I became even worse when I turned into a pony, but the friends I made here helped me understand that not everything is going to be bleak forever and they helped make me into the... ‘Semi outgoing Pegasus’ you see here.”

“So if you had Twilight hang out with you she’ll turn into you?”

“No, that’s not what I mean. Although I can see why you would think that, but what I meant by true self, is that when I met Twilight for the first time and she told me her name, I can sense a part of her true self. It was like I was meeting a good friend from a long time ago, except that it was fading away into what she is now. I’d like to see that part of her again someday.”

Lyra was nodding in confirmation while sitting down, listening to Fluttershy’s explanation for Twilight before she got back up on all four of her hooves, “I think I understand now, I mean if Bonbon keeps up this attitude of ‘that only perverts will love and care for us like humans,’ I think she might end up like Twilight is now, only worse.” Lyra walked towards the reading unicorn and extended her hoof to her, “Uh hey, sorry about not trusting you right from the start, but my name is,” the light green unicorn gulped before continuing like she was chocking on her own words, “L-Lyra, please to meet you.”

Twilight looked up at Lyra for a couple of seconds, taking note of her nervous expression, and then everything turned white...

*~(Present Day)~*

The brightness of the sun knocked Twilight out of her thoughts when she steps out of the thick woods and when she finally opens her eyes, the sight she saw truly surprises her. There she stands at the edge of the woods is a clearing so beautiful that it almost seems like it was straight out of a storybook. A huge field of grass that stretches far to another line of trees, small curvaceous hills that help the transformed unicorn see each blade of grass, and just to diminish her suspicions that she has mistakenly stumble upon a driveway, just over the largest of the small hills, there is only large field of flowers of different breeds growing together. Walking back down from the hill, Twilight wonders about the beauty of this place and how she randomly stumble upon this wonderful place during her escape.

Looking back at where she came, Twilight sees that she came from a corner of the ring of trees that surround this landscape and in that corner, to her right (left from her entrance into this area), there’s a rising hill that is obscured by the trees and a yellow-purple ball that is bouncing down from between them. Following after the ball, a little girl dressed in a pink long sleeve shirt and blue jeans. Her shoulder length blond hair obscures her face from Twilight when she is picking up the ball until the girl slowly turns to look at the unicorn pony. The girl’s amused expression quickly turns to shock and awe at the cartoon looking purple unicorn pony staring at her with a mirrored expression of surprise.

Huah, I thought I wrote more than two paragraphs... well it has been months since I started writing on it again sorry for taking so long but now I know what write at the moment. Also here's a preview about this girl's personality around Twilight and the Brony.