Coconut’s Back with a Brand New Fic · 4:15pm Jan 19th, 2013
Rumors of my death have been… most correctly up to this point. My apologies for dropping off the map everyone. Hopefully this will prove that I will not forever be that one author being deadweight in that list of people you follow, with that one little story and no more.
Though I am rather happy I didn’t decide to leave earth’s orbit with an unfinished story.
Anyway, as some of you may have noticed, I have a new story up. Out of all the fics I’ve been working on since I finished Hostile Takeover, that was not the one I expected to plow through, polish, and post next, but the muse works in mysterious ways. It’s a crossover with the old, cult hit adventure game Full Throttle. I’d like to think I did a good job of introducing its universe for those that have never played the game, so if stories about colorful ponies riding motorcycles, being tough, and stopping evil corporate executives appeals to you, well, there you go. A slight warning, Trixie is in this story but she is most decidedly a villain, so those of you used to the obnoxiously lovable version of her in Hostile Takeover should be prepared for a different take.
Speaking of which, I mentioned this before, but I’m mentioning it again, I am indeed working on a sequel to Hostile Takeover. I have the draft of the first chapter done, even. It’ll take a little more planning and some mulling over her recent return episode (how amazing was that, eh?) before I can put it up, though.
What do you mean what else have I been working on all this time? A lot of stuff! Seriously, I currently have about six rough drafts of various stories floating around. I plan on finishing each of them, just… bear with me. I have artistic drive… somewhere.
Goooood. Goooooood. Let the words flow through...
Glad to see you up and running again! I'm looking forward to what you have planned.
Oh my god it lives! Somepony call Pinkie, I think a welcome back party is in order.
Woo! Lookin' forward to the fics.
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Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational writer!
Ahem. Thank you! I have an audience for my destruction of the English language! Well, if I have my way, things should be hopping along here soon.
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Whoa now, let's not get head of ourselves. I just came back to life. Do you really want to throw a party for a zombie? Is that the kind of thing you want to celebrate?
Because if it is, then by all means, carry on.
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Here's to hoping I deliver with quality and punctuality.
You know, I had completely forgotten about your existence.
I saw a notification of a new story, and I was like "who the frack is Coconutswallow?" You know, aside from a Monty Python reference.
Then I read this journal, and I'm like "oooooohhhh, THAT guy!"
So yeah... Glad you're not dead.
Pinkie is also happy you're not dead. It means she can be the one who does the deed. 
"I will not! Don't listen to him he's all crazy and depressed because h—"
"Yay!"
OKAY, Pinks, I think he gets it.
So, yes. I shall read ze new storywafenpanzerfausten when I get a chance. Much on my plate at the moment.
'Til next time...
...Beware the Penguins.
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Hmmm, you're right, that does change things. *Grabs reading glasses and flips through Pinkie Pie Parties Inc. employee handguide*
It would seem on top of a "Welcome Back" party, you also qualify for a "Welcome Back to Life" party, a "Welcome Back to Writing" party,a "Congratulations on Being a Self Aware Zombie" party, a "New Fic Celebratory" special, a "Five Party Super Spectacular" after-party, and finally the "Weekend Special" after-after-party. I would clear your schedule tomorrow. Your situation is what we call a Code Pink.
HOLY CRAP! Full Throttle!
FUGGEN SWEET!
HOOF BUMP!
Next write a Sam And Max crossover.
Okay, cool. I'm sure I almost removed you from my watch list at least five times, but I never stopped hopin'.
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If Pinkie wants to kill me then she can get in line. I think she'll be #342. Leave the line and you forfeit your place. No refunds if the ones in front of you manage to off me before your turn is up.
I'm pretty sure this new story doesn't contain World War II era anti-tank weapons, but you know, I'm not 100% sure.
Oh, the penguins have already been... taken care of.
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I realize that I'm a zombie now but that doesn't mean I can't still die again. I mean, Code Pink, seriously? No one can survive that much partying.
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Sam and Max? Oh my, that would be... interesting. I don't even know how that would be done. Bring them into Equestria? Make ponified versions of them? Regardless, there would destruction and quips everywhere.
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I survived five times? Given that I was expecting everyone to suddenly decide they were crazy for liking my last story in the first place, then I'd call this a win.
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You cannot take care of the penguins because you do not know which penguins to take care of.
The dreaded North Atlantic Penguins are a race of super-geniuses, where one individual has more intellect than Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and Yogi Berra combined. Their dens in Iceland are located in secret caves whose entrances can only be accessed through the cold, freezing water of the North Atlantic, and are too deep for even bunker buster bombs to reach. They have taken a failed Nazi V-projekt, the Panzerfisch, and selectively bred them to the point where they are strong and viable and able to sink ships and alter the very weather currents of the world by using energy transfer from the Earth's magnetic field to warm the oceans and steer hurricanes. Their hatred is as great as their intelligence, and they remember the Vikings who once drove them from their ancestral lands in Norway so many years ago.
And they want revenge.
Slowly, they bide their time, amassing their forces and setting into motion plans that will take generations to bear fruit. But they are patient, for the dream of seeing the littorals of the world drenched with simian blood is one they would wean their offspring on, were they mammals. But they're not, they're evil, cold-hearted, flightless birds.
They want your fish.
They want your land.
They want you dead.
Beware the Penguins.
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inorite?
Max/Pinkie OTP.
Oh god, what have I done?