30% Lamer in 10 Minutes Flat (Or, Shameful Plugging) · 1:13pm Jan 19th, 2013
Equestria Enquirer January 19, 2013
A FISHY LUNCH
Unfortunately for one Mr. Fish Lover, there's no such thing as a free lunch. There is, however, such a thing as a fishy lunch, a lesson he learned all too well yesterday afternoon when he discovered a live Chinook salmon in his saddlebag after eating at local restaurant Captain Salt's Seafood. Apparently, this is only the latest in a string of bizarre happenings related to the eatery, including the now-famous case of Saute Sizzle, recipient of Equestria's first successful male-to-female spell. According to Ms. Sizzle, young up-and-comer Soapbob Squareflank was, "Fooling around with things ponies were not meant to know". At this point, our intrepid reporter was beset by the angry Captain Salt, who, contrary to popular belief, is not in fact a pirate, but rather a merchant mariner. After hurling several accusations and insults, he removed the salmon from Mr. Lover's possession, and slapped the reporter with it, repeatedly, until he lost his grip on the slippery menace, and it hit Mr. Squareflank square in the flank. He then broke down in tears, flooding the kitchen with his salty fluids. The reporter took this opportunity to get away, and was already several blocks down the road before the staff was able to calm down the melancholy cook, with what seemed to be a musical number about fishes coming between friendship.
We would also like to report that Ms. Saute Sizzle uses Princess Clean brand hairnets. Manufacturer Royal Chore Products, Inc, is a proud supporter of Equestria's LGBT community.
Whoa, thanks for this! Been keeping an eye out for this kinda thing for a while!