Deck us all with Boston Charlie

I just walked away from watching the new Three Musketeers movie with my family (as I told them, if I lost interest, I was leaving). The film starts out as something that seems more in place with Assassin's Creed than anything from an old adaptation from the 30's I saw probably a decade ago (I've never read the book, and won't unless I magically learn French overnight). Than everyone is a caricature (fussy king obsessed with fashion, the captain of the guard is downright irredeemable) and speaks like a something from the modern days (they used the word "retro", for example), as are the jokes (because birds shitting on people is funny; well it can be but most people don't do toilet humor as well as Swift does), and it descended into being a dumb action movie. I think seeing the out of place airship (which is a ship attached to a ballon) and then Milady Winter jump around like an action hero broke me and I left. I can't fairly call it a bad movie (I believe you need to watch all of a movie in order to have an opinon of it), but

In other news, I've been playing Shadow President, with mixed results. It started fine, with me trying to spread world peace (I actually got peace talks going with Syria and improved Haiti, and prevented the invasion of Kuwait by threatening to nuke Iraq). Then I got bored and invaded Mexico, during which I assassinated their leader (strangely, their condemnation of this act backfired on them and they lost credibility to the rest of the world, I guess being a moral leader ahead of time paid off) and bombed their populace, took over the country, reinstated a new government, then kicked Castro out of Cuba (the attempts at condemnation also failed), and now I'm busy defending Saudi Arabia from Saddam and attacking him from Turkey. In short, it's probably a good thing this simulation isn't an accurate one

If nothing else, this just indicates that I am always up for an online game of Twilight Struggle (just contact me).

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The season maybe over (at least at work, they're already starting to replace all the Christmas junk with Valentine junk), but that doesn't mean all that sentimentally that comes with it is. In honor of destroying that, I present the first appearance of the world's richest duck here, Scrooge McDuck, who unlike the Dicken's character, was always a funny tightwad. We owe Carl Barks that much for introducing everyone's favorite uncle and curmudgeon.

And because there's still (a little) snow where I am, here's something else.

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An important birthday is happened on Tuesday. No, not this guy, this one.

Cab Calloway is one of my favorite jazz performers and I never tire of him. The Hi De Ho man certainly had a style not just to songs, but also to his actions (the spin, the walk) that made him a favorite of both audiences and caricaturist during his height in the thirties and even forties (he performed long after that, including in works such as The Blue Brothers and Sesame Street till his death in 1994). It was during this time that he actually did some work and recordings with the Flesicher Studio for a few of their cartoons, one of which I’ve included below. Before that here are a few of the man’s songs and performances throughout his years.

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The Night before Christmas – 1941

Okay two things. First off, I didn’t chose this on purpose, I just ran the random number generator and this cartoon was selected. Second, this is the first Tom and Jerry cartoon selected for a reason: I don’t like them. Yes there are some funny cartoons with the two, but the thing is, conflicts between cats and mice is one of the oldest ideas for cartoons because it’s so simple. The idea isn’t original, like a lot of things of the series from designs of characters (a number of supporting characters have their designs taken from Rudy Isings’ earlier The Alley Cat) to story lines, much is borrowed from else where (heck, even the names Tom and Jerry have been used twice for animated duos before these two came around; one is a bland duo of a tall guy and a short guy from the thirties, and the other is a stop-motion animated African American and his mule from the silent age whose films are now lost). The series, despite its speed and timing, is less about gags so much of two characters inflicting as much violence on each as possible. And because I’m not a fan of the characters (Jamie Weinman kind of nails that Tom “comes off to me as just, generically, The Cat”), I don’t find such actions to be interesting or laughable.

Of course, I wouldn’t include this cartoon if I didn’t think it had something to enjoy. For one, it’s actually rather funny early on. Gags like Jerry slap I sticker on Tom’s mouth and punching him inside a glove are chuckle worthy.
The only big issue I take is with the latter half, where things get sentimental. I don’t buy Tom’s turn around; he really has no reason to feel too bad for Jerry giving what he did plus the cat and mouse conflict (Michael Barrier, in Hollywood Cartoon, suggested that the two act more like brothers than predator and prey, which makes sense but it’s not well indicated here that we should see the two as such). It’s just way too sticky for me to enjoy. Still it’s a cute cartoon.

For a different (and far more detailed) view on this cartoon, you can read this piece. Yes, this was written by me almost three years, back when the urge to start a cartoon review blog emerged for the second time. It’s not well written (way too many missing commas for one), but it’s a nice time capsule for me. I probably couldn’t do something like that there (this was the first such review I did and I did only one other); given the detail I had written (those reviews take time, although the synopsis could easily go), and I can’t identify who animated what without help from elsewhere (I got them from this mosaic Mark Mayerson made from Mark Kausler’s identification). By the way, don’t take the star rating I gave at the end seriously. Getting a three and a half from me back then was just the equivalent of me liking the cartoon (if I didn’t like the cartoon, the highest it could get was a three). It’s based more on personal opinion rather than any sort of inter-subjective or pseudo-objective standard. It makes wonder if I should reorganize that list to reflect my current taste given that a sizable number of those ratings date from even earlier.

Trick or Treat – 1952

Proof that I’m not going for Christmas themed cartoons, this is another one of those post-1942 Disney shorts worth seeing (I know I’ve been showing a lot exceptions, but believe me most are pretty bad, I could gather some up pretty easily), this cartoon I saw quite a bit as a kid thanks to a Halloween oriented Disney VHS tape. And it’s still enjoyable as Witch Hazel (voiced by June Foray, who besides voicing numerous other characters also voiced the witch of the same name in the Looney Tunes) helps the nephews get treats from a very obstinate Donald including a very catchy song and funny gags. “

Magical Maestro – 1952

Spurned by the singer Poochini, a magician seeks revenge by posing as a the conductor. With a little wave of his magic wand, the magician has his way by transforming the singer into different clothing causing him to sing different songs (some are rather hilarious like the little boy), and other tricks. It’s definitely an enjoyable, if rather simple Avery cartoon. There are a few ethnic humor gags, but they’re minor.

By the way, there is a gag here that might go over your involving Poochini pulling a hair. This is joke that comes from the fact cartoons like this were made originally for theaters and projected off of film. Occasionally, an actual hair might get caught in the projector and cover quite a might of the film for the viewers. It’s not a strong joke, but it’s definitely a noteworthy one.

Minnie the Moocher – 1932

I debated which Cab Calloway cartoon to include and in the ended I chose this one, mainly because it features the song Calloway was known for. I like that song a lot, but I love this cartoon (this is number ten for me).

Tired of parents picking on her (as she sings to a statue that is similar to “The Greek Slave”), Betty Boop runs away from home with Bimbo. From there, the two ended up in cave with a ghost walrus (who is a rotoscoped of Cab Calloway, that is he was filmed in live-action first and then the animators and staff traced over him as a walrus) and other such spooks. There’s not much in terms of gags and there’s certainly no real plot, but it’s definitely inventive. The backgrounds in the cave constantly change, the ghosts Betty and Bimbo meet are creative in their actions and design, and the song is, of course, catchy. I just have a lot fun watching it.

As a side note: it’s definitely becoming harder than usual for me to find “trustworthy” websites for many of the cartoons I try to post. Warner Bros. is particular bad about this when it comes to the films they own (Looney Tunes, MGM (Avery, Tom and Jerry)), I can see one of their film go up for a couple of months before being removed. It’s also annoying when a cartoon from a more obscure studio is removed (either because the account was deleted or copyright) or even when a good quality upload of one is gone. Disney is, surprisingly, relaxed when it comes to its classic cartoons and so they score a lot of views (“Moving Day” has the most at around 30 million, I don’t know why exactly, I like the cartoon, but what exactly caused people to select that film in particular is a mystery) so this isn’t as much a problem (it helps that Disney has also released most of its classic animated short library, I don’t have all of them (because of their annoying policy to only release a fixed number of sets), but most other studios haven’t even done that). I suppose this frustrates me, besides the pains to find the films, because in all fairness, they should be in the public domain. The people who made they are dead, many are past their original fifty-six year copyright and only remain in the hands of the corporations because of bad copyright extension laws. Copyright has its purpose, and if the cartoons are commercially released and restored to a nice quality, I’ll buy them (and I do), but this grip on the films is just annoying.

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On Two Nights in Hoofington by Swashbucklist

I like the Muppets, particularly the “Muppet Show” (not really crazy about anything they’ve done recently or any of the movies). For me they hit a lot of the right notes that make them potentially good candidates for fanficts: open to a variety of genres, distinct and vivid characters that can go beyond their normal area, etc. The biggest issue is this: part of the joy of the Muppets is that we know we are watching very skilled puppetry. Take that away and quite a bit of the charm does as well. Thankfully, some Muppets do work outside their original medium like the one-dimensional but still often hilarious, Statler and Waldorf. Here they play as two hecklers in an audience for Trixie.

I think in terms of matching the characterization, Swash pretty much nailed it. The jokes the two (called Saddler and Stalldorf) throw at Trixie are definitely things the two would say (sometimes copied from the show). And its funny (““Hey, Stalldorf, it looks like we made her angry,” said the chin-and-eyebrows pony. “Do you think she'll storm off the stage?”
The shorter wheezy-voiced one replied with zest, “We're not that lucky!”).

Trixie’s characterization was a problem. She at times was too restrained (this is supposed to before she comes to Ponyville ) because Swash constantly had her say things (in her mind) that such as not letting others getting the best of her and not lashing out at the audience (this is not something Trixie from the show would be like, she would have zapped with a lighting cloud on the two the second they would have). Swash tries to justify this by having Trixie change to the mare we're familiar with during the second show (because of their actions, she changes tactics to deal with them), but his writing doesn’t match up with what we see in the episode (Trixie was actively seeking challenges there, where as the fict implies that she just learns how to deal with hecklers).

The other problem is that Statler and Waldorf only work after an act is complete back in the Muppet Show. Sure, they’re funny as are some of Trixie’s thoughts, but between those were Trixie’s acts and her moping. I’ll be honest; I got bored with them, wishing they were done visually (kind of like the Muppet Show itself) instead of just reading about them (that’s part of what made the duo work).

Still, despite my problems (which are pretty big), I actually liked it overall. Not a great work, but a decently entertaining one.

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On Looking Glass, P.I: Coins and Crowns by Kavadore

Film Noir is one of golden age Hollywood’s more famous genres, with its black and white color and urban grit, foggy atmosphere and dark alleys. While not one of my favorites, there’s nothing that can’t make it enjoyable.

I want to state right up front that I enjoyed this fict. However, I’m going to focus on my problems for most of this review.

First off, the mix of pony and noir isn’t well done. Film noir by its nature is cynical unlike the show, and that doesn’t bode well. Granted the fic doesn’t take place in Ponyville; instead Fillydelphia, which must be experiencing the pains of being in the Rust Belt, serves as the setting and the cast is entirely made of OC’s. But I’m of the opinion that if you’re going to write something in the pony world, you need to retain the core of the show’s soul. When that’s not done, it annoys me as a critic. I can accept the use of violence (thankfully there are no guns here), corrupt unions that act more like a type of Mob, swearing, and the like in a pulp like story, but this more pulp were the characters happen to be ponies (with exceptions they could have passed off as humans), rather than ponies from the show being in a pulp like story.

Another area that bothered me was that certain things lacked setup or were forgotten. There were times when the use of unicorn magic seemed to have been forgotten at various times when certain characters were in a jam. And the reasoning behind certain actions also flew over my head (I can’t name any to not give any spoilers, but at a number of times, character’s switched sides for reasons there weren’t convince, and because these moments are key, it made such parts more frustrating).

The last really big issue was that the whole story had a generic feeling. The lead character Looking Glass (and the narrator, something to expected for noir like fiction) is a former cop turned P.I., cynical from his years in the police department. Besides the fact that he’s a very ignorant of what happens in much of Fillydelphia (probably as way for Kavadore to create a sense of suspense and to insert information as best as possible; to be honest it’s not really fitting for his type of character), he doesn’t feel any different from any numerous gumshoes in similar works. The same could be said of the numerous other characters: the attractive dame that needs help, the former flame, the well-informed barkeep; a lot of these feel like rehashes. Granted most of these characters play small roles, but still. Same with some parts of the plot.

Again though, I enjoyed reading this overall. It’s basically pulp with ponies as the characters, but I never really lost interest. I always wanted to know what was going to happen and how even obvious events were going to play out. It’s not the greatest thing written (it’s not even great), but I liked it. Call it a guilty pleasure.

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In case you skipped my cartoon stuff, I linked to Mark Mayerson's blog, but let just come out right now and recommend it to everyone. Mark is one of the two biggest critical influences, and he's one of three people whose opinion I consult when it comes to new animated films (if all three of them don't like, chances are I won't). In particular, let me recommend his "Elements of a Scene" series (you'll have to scroll down to see the first one). The first few were so impressive, I sent an e-mail to my old film teacher about them. Anyone with an interesting in writing and critiquing should read them.