Self-indulgent Author's Note Jamboree: Chapter 9 Edition · 9:14pm Dec 26th, 2012
Happy Hearth's Warming, Rarity! Your friends all hate you and you've lost the only pony you love. Also, Minty got you socks again.
Goddammit, Minty.
On to the author's notes for A Silver Sky, chapter nine:
* Comments on this and other sites have given me the impression that people really liked this chapter. It's one of my favorites so far, so that's great to hear. It's full of stuff I've been waiting to get to for a long time: Applejack's anger, the revelation of Sweetie's adoption, and of course, I finally get to write some Trixie dialog!
* Speaking of dialog, writing Applejack is fun, but tricky. I decided to spell a few words phonetically to emphasize her accent, but keep other more common ones in the normal spelling. The first draft had her saying everything phonetically: "Ah" everytime she said "I," and "yah" for "you," and so on. That was a mistake. It looked ridiculous, so I dialed it down in the final version, so only select words get that country twang. The rest can hopefully be filled in by the reader imagining AJ's voice in their heads. If you're like me, it happens automatically. I also stayed away from some of AJ's most common sayings ("Sugahcube," "Y'all," etc) to emphasize the fact that her anger has her in a different state of mind than we usually see her in on the show. Couldn't resist slipping in a "tarnation," though.
* This chapter would have originally included flashbacks showing Applejack visiting Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and Fluttershy, triggered when Rarity asked, "How are the others?" These were cut for a number of reasons: first, they fatally disrupted the tension of AJ and Rarity's talk. And Fluttershy and Applejack's dialog went on and on without really adding much, while Rainbow's segment was so short (AJ goes to her house, finds a "gone to Cloudsdale" note, and leaves) that it seems pointless. As for Pinkie, her role has been expanded slightly, as that letter in AJ's hat indicates. More to come!
* Speaking of this series' Long Game, Applejack's final speech to Rarity is something I wrote about six months ago, around the time when I knew I was going to write a sequel to Twisted after all. It wasn't until Rarity and friends actually got to Canterlot that I decided I wanted to challenge myself to write a longform sequel with multiple subplots. Until then, I had always had this lingering doubt that people were just reading the story for the impending Giant Pony Sex Orgy(TM) and once that was done, no one would care anymore. Once I decided to call my own bluff and try for a sequel, the creative floodgates opened and I realized that at some point, one of the Mane Six was going to have to take Rarity to task for her misdeeds, and it could only be Applejack. So enjoy your dialog from June 2012, everybody!
* I see Indigo as Rarity's direct rival in a way that Fancy can't really be. They both fancy themselves ladies, and are both sick foal-molesting scumbags, but Indigo has everything Rarity wants: she's an elite member of Canterlot Society, something Rarity could never quite attain. The foals she has raised have been successfully corrupted into being every bit as perverse as she is, while Rarity's favorite foal still resists her. She's part of a corrupt culture which condones and encourages her actions, while Rarity's friends have all condemned her for what she's done. And now she has the one thing Rarity wants the most: Sweetie Belle. When Rarity thinks at the start of their talk that Indigo can't hurt her emotionally, she's making a huge miscalculation. Indigo's advantages mean she can hurt Rarity even worse than Applejack can.
* Originally, this chapter was going to encompass all three of Rarity's visits. Diamond Tiara got moved to Chapter 10 because doing all three in one go felt kind of exhausting. Both AJ and Indigo's visits are highly emotional, and adding Diamond to the mix just felt like piling on. Besides, I loved the idea of ending the chapter by shifting to Indigo's perspective as she leaves the visitor's room (where we've been for the whole chapter) giving Sweetie a line (after she's been absent for five weeks) and then closing it out right there. This is one of the few chapters I can honestly say I'm really proud of.
* I considered the title "Visitor" (with and without the "s") for three other chapters before using it for this one. Those would be chapters 2, 5, and 8, for anyone keeping score.
* I notice that FimFiction now has built-in Author's Note boxes at the bottom of every chapter. I wonder if I shouldn't move these to there for future chapters. On the other hand, I like having this space where I can just babble on every week, and only folks who are interested need to click through and read it. Anyone else have a preference?
Next week is the last update of the year, holy crap! Thanks everyone for all your encouragement, support, and constructive criticism throughout 2012. I've been more productive as a writer this year than I was in the last three years put together, and I couldn't have done it without you.
That's right, without you guys I couldn't have written a story where a beloved children's television character bad-touches her little sister. I hope you're all proud of yourselves.
Applejack and Rarity's true battle has only begun:
I actually prefer the author's blogs; after all, how can I explain to my parents that I'm only masturbating to your excellent commentary when it's on the very same page as cartoon baby horse rape?
i don't actually masturbate to your excellent commentary
i masturbate WITH it
It's really hard to write a southern accent. Most of what she says is probly proper english in her head, but just comes out slightly off. So it's really easy to get carried away changing words to try to match phonetics.
I like blog posts more. Bult-in authour note boxes are just too ugly.
I prefer the blogs. There is something to be said for seeing you in a forum not attached to foalcon, merely its discussion! I loved Applejack's rage but the absolute highlight was Rarity and Indigo's back and forth. I actually let out a "huzzuh" for the Rarity landing the, "One might think your family is on the decline." jab! In moments like that my love for this dark and twisted Rarity is reaffirmed. I will admit I feel a bit much is going on, the story isn't hard to follow but it's just so much harder to try to predict where it's going! You said it would be this way before this arc started but wowzer! Anyhow, as always I am eagerly awaiting more
>Mash harder, darling
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4158-if_you_know_what_i_mean.png
Okay, based on these comments I'm definitely keeping the notes in the blog. I like it better here anyway. It's cozy.
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It's true, the plotline to this one is a lot more complex. I just hope it's not too confusing. Twisted was a much simpler tale, ultimately a "get from point A (Ponyville) to point B (the Gathering) and at point B some stuff will happen" sort of affair. It was simpler since everyone was together for most of the story. Here, you've got everyone scattered and off having their own adventures (What? Sex slavery can't be an adventure?) so it might be harder to keep all the subplots straight. All the different plotlines are part of a whole, though, and they are starting to converge little by little, with things like Twist and Silver hatching their plan together.
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I think the bigger question is why your parents know so much about your masturbation habits in the first place.
Unless it's, like, intellectual masturbation. I do that pretty much constantly. Even in public.
The chapter was great, I reread it as soon as I had finished to get another taste of Applejack's dialogue.