My new Story

Do not worry, everypony. I am still working on my story. I just needed to gather my thoughts. I am currently working on a new chapter at this moment. I will be adding a bit more details and emotions to this chapter. And NO, it is NOT an EMO story. It is just more emotional than my other story that was not as successful as 'A VERY Special Somepo...uh...Person'. So hopefully you will enjoy and also give me ideas on how to make this an enjoyable story. I encourage... stuff. I do not want harsh criticism and trolling. I want idea's that I can use. Thank you.

Comments

[Falcon 7]

Asking for only encouragement is like asking people to lie. There will be times that people need to hear harsh words if they want to improve. That's not my style, but then your mileage may vary.

From what I've read, you want to make this a harem story and your OC will wind up with multiple ponies at the same time. I'm going to say it right now, I don't think you have the skill to pull this off convincingly. That's not a bad thing mind you, it just means you need to practice and write more.

But I know how difficult it can be to let go of an idea or a dream, so here's some suggestions.

1) Don't have every member of his "herd" as being a member of the mane 6. It takes skill to write the characters in canon and the less of them you have, the more freedom you have. Established characters are always a limiting factor in any story.

2) You need conflict. Somebody or somepony as the case may be is not going to like this guy showing up in Ponyville.

3) Write what you know. If you've never kissed a girl, then don't try to bullshit your way around doing so. If you've never actually had sex, don't rely on porn or some generic clopfic as some kind of guide. We don't actually know how ponies react to sexual situations, but it is possible to take how a woman acts and use her as a model.

4) Write as you speak. Unless you use overly flowery language, don't write that way. When it comes to descriptions, use words and terms that you'd use to describe them. That is unless it's an established character in which case see if you can hear them speak those lines.