Friendship is Card Games: Wondercolts Forever: The Diary of Celestia and Luna · 12:47pm March 17th
The next entry on the schedule was issues #21 and 22 of the G5 mainline, but those have failed to manifest, making me wonder if that line’s actually been ended in favor of the various mini-series currently in progress. And among them, I only have one released issue unaccounted for. As such, it’s time to turn to the next pony novel… which does not contain ponies.
Yes, this one is the human equivalent of the Journal of the Two Sisters, and I have been looking forward to it. Any concrete information on the lives of the princessipals will be nice to have, to say nothing of evidence against that world being a magically synthesized prison for troublesome monsters and wayward unicorns. I’m not expecting much; the Equestria Girls novels’ quality thus far has made me long for the literary prowess of G. M. Berrow. But I will take what I can get, if only so I know specifically what I’ll be disregarding.
We open with a direct statement about the sisters’ age difference: Celestia’s last year at Canterlot High will be Luna’s first. This will also be their first shared journal for several years; to Celestia’s best recollection, that las one was when she was in fifth or sixth grade, so six or seven years ago. She also emphasizes that she will miss her little sister when she goes off to college, which says a lot about Luna’s self-image at this point in her life.
It felt so good to walk through the halls of Canterlot High again
Tell me you don’t remember what it’s like to be a teenager without telling me.
To be fair, most of that good feeling is from Celestia getting to see her friends again after a summer full of camps and family vacations that kept her from seeing most of her social circle… which is its own form of surreality. Celestia having friends, actual peers and contemporaries outside of family of blood and the heart, is a genuinely alien concept to me even after all these years.
It does appear that her best friend is Rainbow Dash’s mother, a freckled redhead soccer captain named Windy… Winters. This book did come out a few months before “Parental Glideance;” they may have still been workshopping names for her.
Unsurprisingly, Celestia’s favorite place on campus is the future site of Wallflower’s garden, “where you can sit and read in the sun.” We also get confirmation that CHS has two dances each year (at this point in its history, anyway,) one in the fall and one in the spring.
Moreover, Windy shares a study hall with Luna and took it upon herself to introduce the freshman to some other underclassmen she might be friends with… though they’re mostly the little sisters of Celestia’s friend group. I can already see this not going well, but I am reminded of how my own sister basically left an entire clandestine organization in our high school to make sure I didn’t get picked on. (We’re four years apart; she couldn’t be there to do it herself.)
“There’s something really special about being a senior and ruling the school.”
There’s something delightful in a young Celestia luxuriating in the most powerful position she’s held in her life thus far.
Luna’s first entry comes a month after Celestia’s; both sisters immediately lost track of the diary. For Celestia, it was sheer schedule density: She’s on the archery team, the debate team, the fundraiser committee, and still finds time to play soccer with her friends for fun. Luna has been… slower to dive in. She understands that she’s more introverted than her sister, demonstrating the value of a good guidance counselor… though that counselor was at her middle school, as was her entire social group, who have since gone to schools other than CHS. And now she’s afraid of messing up her first impression.
Fortunately, she’s begun making new connections, including two girls, Seasons and Galaxy, who are encouraging her to try out for the school play. Based on what I’ve seen in real life, theater can be a great way for introverts to gain greater confidence.
Cut back to Celestia, and how Windy was listening in during debate team practice, noting how her ideas for how to improve CHS would make her a great fit for student president. Celestia is shocked (shocked!) at the idea of being in a leadership position, especially filling the shoes of the now-graduated Cherry Blooms, former president and then most popular girl at the school. But Windy, who is on the “Leadership Committee,” insists that Celestia’s name is on the lips of those in the upper echelons (not her words, but nyeh) and that she absolutely has a shot.
And Celestia does go along with it. We get it from Luna’s perspective in the back of the auditorium, where “Principal Potts” outlines the upcoming student elections. They’ll be especially important this year, because it will be the first Friendship Games. (Interestingly, Abacus Cinch is already the principal of Crystal Prep. That or one of her relatives is, but I could definitely see her clutching that position for decades.)
This gets Luna reflecting on Crystal Prep, and how a good quarter of her eighth grade class ended up going to the private school, including her best friend Night Sky, who she hasn’t heard from since the summer. (Night appears to be a Pinkie analogue, prone to laughter, loving to bake, and pasisonate about music.) Luna’s looking forward to the games acting as a way to unite the schools and reconnect with her old friend.
… and we get an anachronistic sticker of the Friendship Games logo. As in the one for the third Equestria Girls movie, complete with the Mane Six’s cutie marks.
Celestia receives her presidential nomination in the middle of physics class, and everyone claps. Well, some people clap. Suffice to say, she runs out of class (with the permission of the teacher, one Ms. Thunderstruck) and eagerly accepts the nomination. She has no idea who she’ll be running against, but she’s thrilled and just a bit nervous.
The next entry, which Celestia wrote during a fit of nervous insomnia, reveals her opponent, Hurricane. Possibly that Hurricane, given that he was a stallion in the Journal of the Two Sisters. It’d hardly be the first time there was some age confusion between the two sides of the mirror. This one is captain of the football team, and possessed of a much better sense of humor. Girls want him, boys want to be him, and Celestia wants this all over with so she can accept her inevitable defeat with grace.
Luna has been acting as Celestia’s campaign manager, including organizing a Meet the Candidate event complete with baked goods, soda, and a slogan: “Celestia for President: It’s Written in the Stars.” If only she knew…
She also drove Celestia nuts earlier that while rehearsing the next day’s big speech, continually “interrupting me and asking questions, or having me to read (sic) a line over again.” That time in the drama club may have helped.
The next entry is from Luna’s perspective… and the way she tells it, while she knew the speech would be good, “I got a little distracted by all the attitude she was throwing my way. Yeesh.” Ah, siblings.
In any case, Celestia’s speech was from both the heart and mind, with both concrete ideas for the school and clear passion for the school where she’d made so many wonderful friends and memories. Hurricane, by contrast, just went for generic athletic school spirit. In the end Celestia got both a standing ovation and the presidency. As an added bonus, Luna joined the Friendship Games planning committee, as has Night Sky.
I’m sure this will go perfectly smoothly with no unforeseen complications.
Celestia’s next entry still has a bit of the rush from her win. (Notably, while she mentions a lot about her celebrating with Luna and her friends, her parents never come up. I know parents don’t have a good track record of… well, existing in Equestria Girls, but this is still a notable omission.)
That quickly dies down when she tells of meeting with both principals and her counterpart at Crystal Prep to plan the Friendship Games. The CPA president is an old friend of hers from middle school, Crescent Moon… but three years and change is a long time, especially at Crystal Prep, and Crescent doesn’t seem to even remember Celestia.
The principal is indeed Abacus Cinch, though Celestia notes that “She looks like she’s barely older than me!” Also that she looks “like she just kissed a lemon.” (boldface hers) She’s also… less than enthusiastic about the prospect of further uniting the schools. In the sense that her tone as she agrees with the idea “made it sound like we’d asked her to sort through a dumpster with us.” Principal Potts notes that Crystal Prep has become much more serious under Cinch's care. If only she knew…
It is fascinating how much independence teenagers have in this world. After school one day, Luna takes a bus downtown to look at potential fabric options for the CHS Friendship Games uniforms. She is thirteen at the time.
For in-universe weirdness, she realizes the fabric store is only five minutes away from Crystal Prep and decides to see if she can find Night Sky. She does… but Night spots her as well and ushers her new friend group into a store before they can see Luna. Something is rotten in Denmark (and… Canterlot? The closest the book has come to naming[/i the city is through a local newspaper, the Canterlot Gazette.)
As the committee is sewing the uniforms, Celestia included (sadly, none of her classmates own a boutique, so the end results are fairly rudimentary,) the principal comes in to go over the rules, which are largely similar to the contemporary ones: Participants are chosen for both athletic and scholastic involvement, are not told the events ahead of time, and can’t see the field before the Games begin. Best two of three, whatever they may be.
Celestia isn’t actually on the team, but she is made their coach. And, as a gesture of camaraderie, she and Windy make cupcakes frosted in the Shadowbolt colors to bring to Crystal Prep… and overhear just how much Cinch is emphasizing a competitive aspect to the games that was never meant to be there. While the students are glad to reunite with friends, especially with baked goods involved, Cinch’s reaction is a snide “What a nice gesture.”
This is only emphasized when those same Shadowbolt colors show up as paint and streamers on the vandalized Wondercolt the next day. The Crystal Prep tradition of vandalizing Canterlot’s school statue has begun.
Luna is ready to give the entire school a piece of her mind (“I mean, come on! Celestia baked them cupcakes!”) but the principal calls for calm, and also plans to call Principal Cinch. The student body isn’t content to wait, and Celestia urging them not to jump to vengeful conclusions only stokes the outrage hotter.
For whatever reason, Celestia and Luna are the ones to scrub the statue clean… inasmuch as they can. It’s still a pinkish purple that will need weeks of weathering to completely wear off according to one of the janitors. We get one of the few altered screencaps presented as photos in the journal, and it looks like the poor thing had a run-in with the original Smooze.
Cinch, unsurprisingly, not only denies that her students could have engaged in such unsportsmanlike activity, but suggests that a Canterlot student may have framed them. Celestia wants to believe it, especially since the Games have already been announced in the local papers and going back would be a PR disaster… but she knows that odds are Cinch is providing flimsy cover for Crystal Prep, and even Celestia is getting annoyed by the injustice.
Many students feel disheartened. Hurricane in particular is calling for retribution. Principal Potts calls on the student body to rise above and be the bigger people, but the simmering dissent is still very much there.
Luna does manage to call Night Sky, who says that Crystal Prep is equally upset and confused. She also notes that the entire academy has been pushing each other to win the Games at any cost, and she was afraid to greet a friend from CHS in front of her new friends. Rather than share this information, Luna chooses to follow Celestia’s example and focus on the positive. We’ll see how that goes…
And the answer is “Poorly.” The very next day (as far as I can tell,) Principal Potts calls an assembly for a dramatic bit of escalation at Crystal Prep:
They threw blue and gold streamers over every tree. They painted a Wondercolt horseshoe in the Crystal Prep courtyard. And worst of all, they stole the Shadowbolt. That crystal statue is Crystal Prep’s most prized possession.
Some fingers get pointed at Hurricane, but he seems as confused as anyone else. If the statue isn’t returned by the end of the day, the Games will be cancelled… and after a few panicked entries, that’s exactly what happens. Celestia and Luna begin investigating the matter, but not a single lead turns up. No one will even admit to approaching Crystal Prep during the night of the crime. Perhaps worst of all, even more than how much it has hurt both the prospective teams and the relationship between the schools, the magnitude of the prank has completely overshadowed how Crystal Prep made the first move. (Of course, when one principal denies any possibility of wrongdoing and the other denies any possibility of anything else…)
After CHS students have to clean up Crystal Prep, Celestia gives a speech hoping to make the other school see that there was no lasting ill will between the schools, nor that this was what CHS stood for. Unfortunately, the Gazette somehow twisted that into her denouncing her own school as a hive of scum and villainy. The girls’ father actually makes an appearance, saying they should call the paper and demand a correction. Celestia, meanwhile, worries that the negative slant was completely deliberate, told to the paper by Cinch, who’d been glaring down and the Wondercolts from her office during the entire cleaning process.
That weekend, Luna and Celestia’s friends try to cheer her up with a picnic… but Luna overhears some mothers nearby gossiping about how terrible Canterlot High is, and how they’ll never send their kids there, no matter how high Crystal Prep’s tuition is. Luna considers confronting the women, but she and Celestia both agree that the only way to truly resolve this is to reopen their investigation and find the Shadowbolt.
Hurricane is the first suspect, but he has an alibi in his little brother, Ocean Wave, with whom he shares a bedroom. (This also muddies the waters of whether this is Commander Hurricane’s analogue, though giving him a younger sibling could be interesting.)
While Celestia is willing to take people at their word, Luna’s far more suspicious, both considering the Friendship Games team as potential suspects and briefly stalking Hurricane to verify his alibi, which she does… though not before he notices him following her at one point, forcing her to retreat and making her dread he thinks she has a crush on him. In any case, it’s a lovely bit of distinctive characterization between the sisters (and Luna signing that entry “Detective Luna” is adorable.)
A surreal moment comes as Celestia has to interrupt the investigation for presidential duties, planning a fundraiser for the school library. A band of CHS students volunteers to provide music for the event, and “They all have electric-blue hair, and they sing rock songs.” Presumably at least one member of Flash Sentry’s family is involved, but my first thought was… well, Electric Blue. Now that’s a paradox.
After another week of no leads, Luna has a breakthrough; a junior girl eagerly talking about how impressed Hurricane would be “if he knew,” only for her friend to shush her since talking about “it” at school is too risky. All Luna can see is their shoes, but it’s the best lead she has.
Another meeting for the fundraiser gets interrupted by an article on Crystal Prep enrollments being on the rise. (It must be a slow news month… or Cinch knows people on the editorial board.) Celestia confides to Luna how heartbreaking it is that this one misdeed could overshadow everything she loves about CHS, and the fact that no one outside of students’ parents shows up for the fundraiser only drives the knife in deeper. (Though this does raise the question of what those parents are doing with their friends who have kids at Crystal Prep. Definite bit of protagonist-centered existence here with absolutely no counterpressure against the smear campaign.)
The poor showing is enough to get a freshman boy who’d been scared into silence tell of how he saw two girls bury something in the woods behind the school… but it’s been a while and his memory isn’t the best, so he can’t provide anything more specific than that. He hadn’t wanted to make enemies, so he’d been quiet until he saw just how bad things were getting, which is an entirely understandable reason to hold his tongue up until now, right up there with teenagers thinking that vandalism and larceny are the best way to impress the star quarterback.
Unfortunately, that vague guidance still isn’t enough to find the thing… so Luna decides to give the girls a reason to get it back, by spreading a rumor that there’s a valuable gem within the Shadowbolt. If they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends…
More great work contrasting Celestia’s pure-minded ideals and Luna’s greater willingness for underhanded tactics. Celestia doesn’t even think it’ll work until Windy gets on board with the idea.
It only takes two days before the thieves go to dig up the statue, with Celestia and Luna catching them via stakeout. A brief chase concludes with one tripping and the other stopping to help. I do have to appreciate how the very values Celestia cherishes about Canterlot High are what stopped that escape.
Sure enough, the culprits, Milestone and Willow, were trying to impress Hurricane, who they’ve been crushing on since fifth grade… but there’s a further complication: They’d dropped the Shadowbolt, which was apparently big enough to be a two-girl job. The intent had always been to bring it back a few days later, but that’s not possible with it in pieces.
Curiously, the rumored ruby got them to check the fragments just to be sure. I suppose they hadn’t been looking too closely at the product of their folly. Still, all four girls end up taking the fragments to Principal Potts, Celestia’s hopes thoroughly crushed.
Celestia rightly calls Potts “the kindest, fairest principal we could ever imagine.” She offers emotional support as Milestone and Willow break down during their confession, and the only punishment she inflicts is forcing them to make a public apology to Crystal Prep and a week’s detention. Heck, that’s past fair and into mind-bogglingly lenient… which explains a lot about Celestia’s own administrative approach down the line.
Celestia herself deeply dreads the day Cinch receives the shards, foreseeing headlines in the Gazette… that, bizarrely, she tapes into the journal despite being purely hypothetical. Did she type and print those out just to illustrate the point, or did the author lose track of the framing device? (Not sure when this takes place, but the early 90s is an option. There’s also the question of where the variably colored Twilight cutie mark-shaped confetti came from, but that way lies madness.)
Potts announces the Shadowbolt has been found, but not who stole it or what condition it’s in… which gives the student body false hope that the Friendship Games might still be on.
Ah, the statue only cracked in two. That was not made clear until the drive to Crystal Prep. After the culprits’ confession, Cinch just looks… sad. The statue was a gift to her from the students when she began her tenure as principal. The woman does have a heart, after all, even if it’s a few sizes too small.
This only makes the following reveal all the more surprising. The pieces had been kept in a duffle bag to soften and delay the blow until after Cinch could get the full story… but between her entry wishing she could fix the situation and returning the statue, Celestia worked with Ms. Thunderstruck to use “a special Bunsen burner to fuse the crystal back together.” I’m not sure that would actually work with any crystalline structure, but it’s good enough for Cinch to smile. And say “It’s almost exactly as it was before. Almost.” You take the little wins with her. Especially since Cinch agrees to put the Games back on the next week, just three weeks before graduation.
In the resulting frantic rush to get everything up and running, Luna ends up on the team. (All four years being viable candidates was part of the initial plans.) Celestia’s still off it, with presidential duties like welcoming the visiting team and planning the event taking precedence. After days of breakneck training, Principal Potts assures the team that she’ll be proud of them regardless of the outcome. At least for Canterlot, this isn’t about winning or losing. This about bringing the schools together.
The sisters take turns describing the Games themselves, with Celestia providing an overview and the first events (footrace to Canterlot, rollerskate race to Crystal Prep,) while leaving the climax to Luna. The final event is an obstacle course/tetrathalon of sorts: Rock wall, rope climb, archery, and a dead sprint, with each member of the team having to perform the whole thing. After several lead changes and as much buildup as two pages can provide, the final result is… a tie.
Amidst the confusion, Celestia steps up, offering the trophy to Crystal Prep (and to her old friend Crescent Moon) as a symbol of friendship and moving past the old grievances. Luna marvels at her sister, frustrating perfectionism aside (not that we’ve seen much of that) and wonders what she’s going to do without Celestia next year.
Everyone appreciates Celestia’s gesture. Not only does the Canterlot Gazette put CHS in a positive light, even the two Crystal Prep boys who’d painted the Wondercolt step forward to confess. Cinch even apologizes for covering for them. (Whether she did so knowingly or not is left ambiguous.) Their only punishment is having to help clean up after the Games.
Celestia closes the diary by discussing her graduation speech, and emphasizing how she’ll make it not a goodbye, but a “see you soon.” And reflecting on how she hopes to return to CHS one day. Maybe even as its principal, unlikely though that sounds. 
We also get to see the sisters at this age, and by God, Luna may be the tallest fourteen-year-old in EqG humanoid history. Also, I know their models are barely altered, but it’s still funny to see that they’ve always had those crown-shaped cowlicks. (I wonder if they finally started behaving after the diarchs abdicated.)
In all, this exceeded my expectations. They were low, yes, but this still had some fascinating character building for the princessipals, the motives were all believable for teenagers and educators, and even Cinch hadn’t yet, in the words of Waylon Smithers, crossed that line from everyday villainy to cartoonish supervillainy. They could’ve done more, but overall this was a sincerely enjoyable little high school mystery/drama. One that actually does explain a few things about the sisters, like why they’ve warded off any media attention on the school’s magical shenanigans. They’ve been burned by the media circus’s fire-eaters before and have no interest in repeating the experience. Though given how much Principal Potts factored into their efforts across the journal, I have to wonder if they feel left out when the current stars of the school so rarely keep them in the loop.
In any case, let’s see what I can make of this:
Sunbeam Archer 1WW
Creature — Human Archer
Flash
Reach
When Sunbeam Archer enters the battlefield, it deals X damage to target attacking or blocking creature, where X is your devotion to white. (Each W in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to white.)
2/2
Awestruck Gossipers 2W
Creature — Human Citizen
Whenever a legendary creature enters the battlefield, draw a card. If another player controls that creature, that player draws a card.
The halls of Canterlot High have always echoed with whispers of its luminaries.
1/3
Capricious Savior 2W
Creature — Faerie Wizard
Bargain (You may sacrifice an artifact, enchantment, or token as you cast this spell.)
Flying
When Capricious Savior enters the battlefield, if it was bargained, exile another target creature, then return that creature to the battlefield under its owner’s control.
2/2
Call for Retribution 4W
Instant
Create X 1/1 white Human creature tokens, where X is the amount of life you’ve lost this turn.
“Are we just going to sit back and let those snobs walk all over us, or are we going to do something about it?”
—Hurricane, football captain
All-Hours Sleuths 2U
Creature — Human Detective
If it’s neither day nor night, it becomes day as All-Hours Sleuths enters the battlefield.
Whenever day becomes night or night becomes day, investigate. (Create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
3/2
Cold Reception 2U
Enchantment
Each creature your opponents control enters the battlefield with an additional stun counter on it. (If a permanent with a stun counter would become untapped, remove one from it instead.)
Abacus Cinch seemed nice enough, yet Celestia left their first meeting disquieted.
Engineered Rumor 2U
Enchantment
Whenever one of your opponents is dealt combat damage, draw a card. Each opponent attacking that player does the same.
Within months, Luna had mastered Canterlot High’s gossip circle.
Flux-Amplified Trio 2UU
Creature — Pegasus Bard
Flying
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, time travel. (For each suspended card you own and each permanent you control with a time counter on it, you may add or remove a time counter.)
“1.21 gigawatts? Is that all?”
3/3
Ruined Reputation 1BB
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
Crimes committed against enchanted player cost 2 less to cast and to activate. (That player’s opponents targeting them, anything they control, and/or cards in their graveyard is a crime against them.)
One misdeed invites another.
Hexed Prince 2B
Creature — Human Noble
When Hexed Prince enters the battlefield, create a Cursed Role token attached to it. (Enchanted creature is 1/1.)
When Hexed Prince dies, you draw X cards and lose X life, where X is its power.
Even witches have their reasons for cursing people.
3/3
Cornered Confession 2BB
Instant
Target creature get -4/-4 until end of turn.
Draw a card.
With nowhere to run and no way to hide, Milestone and Willow explained everything: Their hopes of impressing Hurricane, their actions at Crystal Prep, and the accident that made everything so much worse.
Lunar Dramatist 3B
Creature — Human Warlock
Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, create a Wicked Role token attached to target creature you control. (If you control another Role on it, put that one into the graveyard. Enchanted creature gets +1/+1. When this Aura is put into a graveyard, each opponent loses 1 life.)
2/4
Last-Minute Recruit R
Creature — Human Citizen
Haste
Training (Whenever this creature attacks with another creature with greater power, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
Last-Minute Recruit can’t attack or block alone.
Some aren’t meant for solo exercises.
2/1
Case of the Shattered Statue 1R
Enchantment — Case
When this Case enters the battlefield, destroy up to one target artifact.
To solve — Three or more artifact cards were put into graveyards from anywhere this turn. (If unsolved, solve at the beginning of your end step.)
Solved — Each artifact card in your graveyard has unearth. The unearth cost is equal to its mana cost.
Unreliable Witness 1R
Creature — Human Citizen
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, if that player doesn’t control a suspected creature, suspect target creature they control. (A suspected creature has menace and can’t block.)
“She had red hair. Or green. Maybe rainbow?”
2/1
Dead Heat XRR
Sorcery
Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can’t cast spells or activate abilities that aren’t mana abilities.)
Choose any number of target creatures with equal toughness. Dead Heat deals X damage to each of those creatures.
The schools were equally matched. For now.
Deepshade Tracker 1G
Creature — Human Scout
Deathtouch
Deepshade Tracker must be blocked if able.
Many chases have entered the Canterlot Woods. None have left them.
1/2
Detective’s Breakthrough 1G
Instant
Target creature gains trample until end of turn. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents this turn, investigate that many times.
Unconventional methods still get results.
Intense Regimen 2G
Enchantment
At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target creature you control. Each creature you control with power less than that creature’s power gains training until end of turn. (Each instance of training triggers separately.)
Dumpster Sifting 5G
Sorcery
For each card type, return a card of that type of an opponent’s choice from your graveyard to your hand. Exile Dumpster Sifting.
“Izzy Moonbow is far from my first eccentric genius.”
—Principal Sunset Shimmer
The Crystal Shadowbolt 2
Legendary Artifact
T, Pay 1 life: Add one mana of any color.
T, Pay 2 life: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature that dealt damage this turn.
T, Pay 3 life: Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
T, Pay 4 life: Draw a card.
Greatness at every cost.
Anachronistic Emblem 3
Artifact
T: Add one mana of any color.
Paradox — Whenever you cast a spell from anywhere other than your hand, untap Anachronistic Emblem.
Some of the flags in Dr. Turner’s history class are from countries that don’t yet exist.
Graduation Ceremony 3
Sorcery — Lesson
Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature that attacked this turn. Untap those creatures.
No matter the major, no matter what lies ahead, it is one of the greatest moments of any student’s life.
Vilifying Atrocity 1BR
Enchantment
When Vilifying Atrocity enters the battlefield, destroy target artifact or creature.
Creatures your opponents control attack you each combat if able.
4: Exile Vilifying Atrocity, then return it to the battlefield under your control. Any player may activate this ability, but only as a sorcery.
Uncover the Truth 1BG
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, collect evidence X. (Exile cards with total mana value X or greater from your graveyard.)
Return target permanent card with mana value X or less from a graveyard to the battlefield under your control.
Artistic Interpreter 2UR
Creature — Human Shaman
When Artistic Interpreter enters the battlefield, learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)
Whenever you discard an artifact card, exile it. Until the end of your next turn, you may cast that card.
3/3
Proven Guilty 3UB
Instant
Affinity for Clues (This spell costs 1 less to cast for each Clue you control.)
This spell can’t be countered.
Destroy target creature or planeswalker.
Clever defenses wither in the face of overwhelming evidence.
Forgotten Grove
Land
Forgotten Grove enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G.
T, Sacrifice Forgotten Grove: Add UB.
The buried Memory Stone wiped its resting place from any mind not attuned to its energies.
I think that's exactly what happened. I seem to recall some announcement that the comics would no longer be numbered, and the miniseries are the main comic series.
I have not read the Equestria Girls books, partly because I got confused when some of them were clearly novelizations of the movies. But I should probably look into them again.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Call For Retribution doesn't care why you lost life. Go ahead and frame your opponents for life you paid.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Cold Reception will still add an "additional" stun counter to things that wouldn't have entered with one. Magic-ese is not plain Engllish, even if it looks like it at first.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Tokens do briefly enter the graveyard. If you paid for Case of the Shattered Statue entirely with treasure tokens and successfully destroyed something with its ETB, you'll solve the case immediately.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Whoever currently controls Vilifying Atrocity also controls its ETB effect. You've given everyone as much removal as they can afford, which should help keep the table honest.
5772642
Quoting from the MKM release notes:
Much as tokens won't help you descend, they won't help here. As you're so fond of saying, it's a stupid complicated game.
Literally did not know this novella existed. Which, yes, my interest in EqG is very low, but I knew of many of the other books, even past the movie novelisations. Still, this has the potential to more appealing than the nth "novel about high schoolers but since it's for single-digits kids is really not about teenagers at all" book.
It took me a moment to parse the age gap is only three years – Celestia being in her final year and Luna in her first made me think of the secondary school system here of six years from 13-18, not the American high school from 15-18. But that is a more fitting age gap, I think.
Anyway, I enjoyed this. It actually managed to hit that balance of being a glimpse into the earlier lives of a Celestia and Luna, if not the Celestia and Luna, telling a story that shows a lot of their current and future characterisation, and even if it relies a lot of "teens in young kids show" levels of characterisation and writing, none of it is stupidly dumb and character's motives largely make sense. Which is about the best one can hope from EqG sometimes.
It likely would have been tired and rote as an actual reading experience, with the stilted prose and dialogue I've seen in these books as read by an adult, but for this recap? Most I've enjoyed one in quite a while.
This was very charming. As you may have gathered in the past several years, I have a very large soft spot for the Solar principals. Tack on the shared headcanons of Celestia being so naively *good* she becomes a paragon for others being backed by her more cynical sister and I had a great time reading this.
So *good* that even Cinch got redeemed for a single moment... that woman is powerful!
I approve of this way of thinking, both from a pragmatic standpoint and because there's a delightful sense of satisfaction in looking at supposedly-canonical additions and saying "Okay, I understand but... nope!" It's like a version of "I reject your reality and substitute my own", only not dealing with reality so the rejection takes effect in a tiny way. Maybe that's just me, though.
Wow, you had a far different relationship with your siblings that I did. And good for you - it makes me legitimately happy that others have had that kind of positive relationship.