The Room Analysis: Part Two

00:10:03-00:20:30

Welcome to the next ten minutes of analyzing the room. In this part, we get introduced to more characters, and what could have been a plot really seems to get going. That said, let’s dive into this cesspool.

The scene opens with what we can assume is later that same morning as when Lisa was left alone in bed. She opens the front door to her apartment, and allows her mother, Claudette, inside. If one had to guess, Lisa had called her mother over to speak with her about a problem that she had been having, but we never saw that scene. Nor do we know the nature of any problem that Lisa was having beforehand, because as far as we can tell, her life is a blissful dream that most people can only sit back and envy. But after Lisa and her mother sit down, Lisa confesses that she doesn’t love Johnny anymore.

If you’re wondering where the hell that came from, you’re not alone. I haven’t told you yet, because no reason is expressed in any way, shape or form that would make us think that Lisa’s life with Johnny isn’t as grand as we’re led to believe by the previous ten minutes. Must have been a bad time in the bedroom, or something. Shoot, the music that played over that scene is enough to kill your interest in sex. But the reason that Lisa does give is that Johnny is, and I quote, so boring. And this never occurred to her in the previous five years that she had known him, as noted by her mother. Still, Claudette tries to convince Lisa to stay with Johnny, because he loves her and can support her, and she even points out that Lisa can’t support herself. And we have to wonder why the hell not. Basically, Claudette is telling her daughter to stay with Johnny for his money and success. And Lisa rebuts that this is why Johnny is so boring. Is this making sense to anyone else? I’ve tried to unravel these twisted thoughts, but I just can’t. But whatever. Claudette just keeps spouting off about all of the things that Johnny has bought for Lisa, and uses that as a reason for Lisa to marry him. Claudette then goes off on a tangent about how nobody listens to her, to which Lisa agrees.

After only a two minute talk about how Johnny is rich and Lisa should marry him for his bottomless bank account, Claudette leaves for some unknown business that she must take care of. Even a beginning writer could tell you that this is a weak excuse, because it seems like she just doesn’t want to be there. It’s almost like the characters buzz in and out of the scenes like flies through an open window. Somebody ought to bug bomb ‘The Room.’ Whatever Claudette is doing is only left up to our imagination, because we have to keep following what Lisa is doing.

The scene fades to Lisa dialing a phone number. And who picks up on the other end? Some random guy who we’ve never seen in this movie before, who is parked in the middle of traffic, and who Lisa greets with a sultry, “Hey baby, how ya doin’?”

Now, the answer by this stranger is, “I’m very busy. What’s going on?”

Even in the same sentence, there is a non-sequitur with no breath in between. But as this stranger (a stranger to us, at least) tries to enforce the idea that he’s very busy (even though he’s going nowhere) Lisa insists that he owes her one, so they’re going to talk now. Does this mean that they have a preexisting relationship? One where she did some kind of favor for him, and now he has to repay it in kind? Whatever the meaning of their words are is lost to time, as Wiseau probably forgot the meaning of this scene even as he was writing it.

Now, Lisa could have called in any kind of favor as repayment. A ride to the airport to leave Johnny. Having this guy cover for her as she stays at a friend’s place for a while. Instead, she uses this opportunity to ramble on about how her mother is an evil, stupid bitch who wants to control her. But Lisa refuses to be controlled. She resolves to do whatever she wants to do. Then she asks the guy on the phone what he thinks she should do. That’s some next level failure of writing dialogue right there. And it gets even worse, as somehow this nameless man on the phone begins to talk as if Lisa had been complaining about Johnny the whole time, even though she hadn’t said a word about him. Maybe that’s why she called this guy. His clairvoyant, mind reading powers that allow him to solve any problem in an instant. Too bad he’s as dumb as everyone else in the script, otherwise he’d use those powers for good. Or to win the lottery. The call then ends with Lisa making plans to meet this mystery man tomorrow at noon.

Now, when such a large chunk of time is allotted to the story, we should see what happens from that point up until tomorrow at noon. That way we get to see more of the story, characters and plot develop. A way to have this make more sense is if they arranged to meet right then after they hung up. But after we take a few seconds to look at some stock footage of downtown San Francisco, we see Lisa in her apartment, opening the door for the nameless man she had spoken to. From the moment this guy walks into the apartment, Lisa gets very handsy with him. She guides him by his shoulders over to a nearby chair, brushes her hand on his chest and through his hair, then she pours him some unknown drink. Presumably into a glass, but the vessel is offscreen. But our doubts are put aside when Lisa passes this nameless man a glass full of what appears to be red wine. And then things really get steamy.

Lisa takes off her sweater, revealing that she’s wearing a black evening gown, even though this is supposed to be a casual get-together. And this is where the nameless man starts to get suspicious. He remarks about the candles, the music and the sexy dress, and questions what’s going on. The problem is that in that scene there are no candles, no music is playing, nor has any music been turned on, and the dress that Lisa is wearing is decidedly not sexy. Any competent filmmaker would have noticed these flaws and would have put all three into the scene, especially when the characters comment on them. But since nobody competent is running this film, these assets remain as elusive as Bigfoot. Speaking of competent storytelling, wouldn’t it make more sense (as well as evoke a more emotional reaction from the audience) if Lisa were wearing the red dress that Johnny bought for her as she’s trying to seduce this other man?

Continuing on, Lisa tries the most ham-fisted attempt at being a seductive femme fatale, but fails miserably, as her heart clearly isn’t in her performance. And now we have to wonder why she chose this guy to seduce and cheat on her fiancé with. Sure, she said that Johnny’s boring. But wouldn’t it make more sense to talk things over with him (as painful as that would be), then move on with her life so that she can decide what she wants in a romantic partner? Nah. Just hook up with another man. But as Lisa persists, we finally learn what connection this nameless man has to anything.

He is Johnny’s best friend. And we only know that because he said so. One of the foremost principles of telling a story is that you must show the events and characterization. Do not tell those things. This is especially true in a visual medium, such as a movie. Even though this character was just introduced, we only know one thing about him, and that’s because he said so. We never saw him interacting with the other characters before, but we’re just supposed to assume that he has some deep connection with them now.

The nameless man tries to resist, but Lisa lashes out with the desperation of a crack addict in withdrawal. Still, the nameless man resists, but gives in anyway, and without much convincing. Cue the second overly long sex scene set to rage-inducingly bad music. One that takes place on the spiral staircase. Hoo, boy. Their chiropractors are going to have a field day.

After two and a half more minutes of horror, Lisa and the nameless man are sitting on the stairs, fully dressed, and the nameless man is blaming Lisa for seducing him. He then repeats that Johnny is his best friend. Lisa then reveals that the nameless man has a name, calling him Mark. Nearly five minutes after his debut do we finally learn his name. This is not how you treat a character who is supposed to be a major part of the conflict. Still, Mark seems regretful, and Lisa repeats that he is Johnny’s best friend. They agree to keep it a secret and to not do it again, but begin making out anyway.

That’s the end of that ten minutes. We are now a little over twenty minutes into the movie, and we only now have the beginnings of what looks like a story with characters, a conflict, and some semblance of a plot. That will change by the next entry.

The character development is still at an all-time low. We don’t know Mark’s name until well after he’s introduced to us, nor do we know his relation to the characters right off the bat. What I’m guessing Wiseau was going for was that he wanted Mark’s relationship to Johnny to remain a mystery right up until he tells us. What we were supposed to feel was shock at his betrayal, but we’re instead confused, because we’ve never seen what good friends they are before. There are two ways that this could have been fixed. The first way is that we could have seen Johnny and Mark hanging out during the opening credits to get a feel of their closeness to one another. The second way is that if Wiseau wanted to keep the mystery of Mark’s character, it would play off of my suggestions to fix it in the previous entry. If Johnny did abandon Lisa before they could bump uglies, she could have called Mark over, and he willfully comes, indicating that they have done this before. Throughout the movie, Johnny keeps mentioning how it seems like Mark is avoiding him. ‘Who is Mark,’ we in the audience would wonder. And then we could see Johnny warmly greet Mark like he’s his brother at a later time, and we would be surprised to know that Mark, Johnny’s oldest, closest friend, is the one who Lisa is seeing behind his back.

Speaking of Lisa, she gets just about all the character development that she’s going to get in this ten minute segment. If I had to make any guesses, it’s that Lisa is a representation of how Wiseau views women. That they are only interested in money, and randomly get tired of whatever romantic partner they are with just so they can have as much sex with other people as they want. This is between bouts of unquestioning servitude to whatever man they’re with. Supposedly, Lisa represents a woman who he was actually in a relationship with, and who really did end up cheating on him. But that isn’t concrete information.

In this part of the movie, we have also met Claudette, who is Lisa’s mother. If she serves any purpose to the film, it’s to show how Lisa ended up the way that she did, although we don’t get any clues to that. We do know that Claudette is quite shallow when it comes to relationships, and seems to value net worth above all else. If one were to analyze her relationship with Lisa, you might think that Lisa doesn’t care for the way her mother thinks of romance, and would try to not be like her, given the coarse words that she has for Claudette over the phone with Mark. Instead, Lisa seems to be the way that she is by her own nature. That, or she wants to do what her mom does, but do it in a way that she believes is the right way. If this sounds confusing, that’s because I’m pulling this all together based on trying to interpret the psychology and personalities of the characters. But if I keep that up, I might need a psychologist myself.

See you in the next analysis. I’m going to scrub my brain out with a better movie. Tonight, it will be Pixar’s ‘Up.’