A Goodbye · 12:33pm Dec 15th, 2023
Things are taking a turn for the miserable again..... I wasn't checking my mails last week, when I did yesterday, I found a goodbye mail by her. I was citing the fact there's no goodbye message by her as a good sign, now it turned out there is a goodbye message by her. Things were looking up slightly, especially because I let police perform a wellness check on her, which thankfully turned out as her just being sick with the flu and nothing worse, and she told them that she will follow up with me. But now, things are taking a deep dive into a dark hole again, seeing that she actually sent me a goodbye message and made it official.....
I feel pretty knocked down by this, plagued by guilt and fear of never seeing her again alike..... But I'm still not giving up hope. She has done this before and I managed to repair the damage and bring her back. Not in the most graceful way, but I am better and more experienced now, I can do this better now. I still have hopes to rekindle and convince her of returning. And there are some signs in her goodbye message that she still sees a chance herself.
The initial cause remains, I wrote a tweet that triggered and hurt her when she saw it and this led to a chain reaction of her thinking about other things that didn't went ideal in the last few years and it all piled up on her, making her block me and sending me this goodbye mail. But this is also where the chance lies, she is being emotional right now, but she is also very intelligent and smart, I know I still have a chance to get through to her. I just need to stay calm and do the right things.
Everything feels very bleak right now, but reasonable hope remains. I'm going to fix this again somehow. I would never give up our friendship.
Hug