smoking hot reviews #1: "Downfall" by Gay for Gadot, is it W.O.R.T.H it? · 11:19pm Apr 28th, 2023
"Downfall" by Gay for Gadot, is it W.O.R.T.H it?
To love is to suffer. This is something Sunset learns the hard way when she feels incapable of helping Wallflower, her girlfriend, during her most difficult times. Not because of a lack of knowledge, but lack of trust in herself not to hurt her further. Trying to make up for the former, she eventually learns that only herself can lift Wallflower back up, just by being there for her. If this summary sounds familiar to you, it is because there are many stories out there with a similar concept, so nothing new under the sun you may think. There are many reasons that could be brought up as to why this is not true, but there are almost 3k words of that ahead of us already. So how about we go through them so as to find what makes this story special?
In order to do this, I will take apart this story in a painless and spoiler free (as possible!) manner by taking a closer look into its characters, the dialogue and the plot: its Writing; Pointing out the potential/existing themes, and the authorial intent: the Observations; Analyzing the flow, prose, tone and pacing: it's Readability; Watching out for potential grammar flaws: the Technical side; And how the first impressions of the story draw the attention of potential readers: the Hook.
All the ingredients that make a story W.O.R.T.H it.
Let's start from the bottom: the Hook.
H:ook - 10
Is hard to comment on the title and cover art choices considering they have a really strong thematic purpose (that I won't get into until later on the review) that probably will fly over the reader's head during a first read. What these don't do however, the description accomplishes efficiently. Is an excellent summary of what kind of love story the readers are in for, very clear and concise, revealing enough about the story to set the mood and hook the reader in while appealing to their emotions. Is such an effective hook, the promise of seeing a story about a powerful, reliable and strong character such as Sunset, finding herself powerless.
Once inside the chapter, there’s no time for the reader to settle or become bored. In a span of barely three paragraphs, five lines and one word, her world is turned upside down, almost as if time itself stopped. From complementing her phone to loathing its limitations, from washing the dishes to exiting her house in a frenzy. The story starts out strong, setting the emotional stakes and giving the reader a sense of rush and urgency that makes the first scene of barely over 1k words seem like 200 words.
T:echnical - 10
Despite the varied paragraph structures and different types of formats used in the story, it remains technically sound. But that’s a given at this point, onto the next section.
R:eadability - 10
For a story so emotionally charged, good narration and prose writing is the cornerstone of the fic. Otherwise, most of the complex emotions, ideas and the nuance of the core topic itself would have gotten lost in simplistic and straightforward writing. This is remarkably good prose we have here.
The dialogue is laced with hope and dread in equal parts at the beginning. Not only at the beginning, but in the entire story. And not only in the dialogue, but in the narration and prose itself. And not only with hope and dread but with the product of these two: Determination. And this passage is a fine example of this:
The stars were different here.
Draco, Ursa Minor, Leo… Some of them shared similar names, if not similar stories. Others—Cassopeia, Orion, Gemini—sprang forth from a brand new lexicon. A shared, unique history Sunset could never fully belong to, despite all her efforts to the contrary.
No matter. Even if this world wasn’t home, she was determined to make it feel like home. If not for her, then for those who deserved it.
Normally the slow pace at times would be reason enough to either drop the story or criticize it, but instead it succeeds at conveying the emotions Sunset goes through, hence how the focus changes between her inner and physical world. At the beginning for example once the story kicks off, it feels as if she was in slow motion for a moment there only to rush into action almost like in an auto-pilot fashion. The pacing also knows when to slow down when it needs to, when it needs the reader to ease into the moment the characters are experiencing. It takes its time to relish in the details that make moments like sharing a cup of cocoa with that special person, special. With unnecessary rush, that magic would be completely lost. There is something magical about characters losing themselves in what surrounds them, to get away from the plot and just admire the beauty in things. And it takes skill to entangle introspection and characterization without losing that which makes it, well, magical.
It's redundant at this point to speak about your prose because there are only so many ways to say you write gud prose, but everytime it manages to perfectly encapsulate the atmosphere of the scenes you write and the feel of the work as a whole. You have an ability to say a lot without saying it outright, with perfect timing as if it was the punchline to a joke to put the cherry on top of the emotional baggage behind your sentences. And this work is a fine example of that.
I must admit, the first transition from the first scene to a flashback did confuse me for a bit, but after the second one I found my footing. While they are certainly abrupt, I cannot say it hindered the reading experience of the story in itself. It was worth it for the payout at the end, after all.
The interludes on which she tries to find the answer to help her, be it on the internet or in a wiser individual such as Twilight, cast light on the progress that Sunset character is undergoing. From not daring to even type the words that describe Wallflower’ situation, to seeing firsthand how talking can possibly help her (during the visit to the therapist), to mustering up the courage to ask about it albeit in an indirect way, and finally fully opening up to Fluttershy. Is all this progression that allows her to realize when she finds the blood stained razors that she cannot magically make it go away, there was no be-all-end-all solution or set in stone procedures she had to follow. The answer is a much simpler one: To let Wallflower know she is loved, with her own words. As sudden and flow breaking as those scenes in between may appear to be, they do an excellent job at building up the emotional climax in a way no other structure technique or narrative device would have accomplished.
O:bservations - 10
This is a highly thematic work. There’s a lot to unpack and even then I will probably only touch on the tip of the iceberg. But I will take a very deep dive because this story deserves it.
Mirroring the very meaning of the song this is inspired on, we have the theme, for which I have found there are two possible interpretations. Downfall as in, the word itself, means loss of power and status. The former fully applies here to Sunset Shimmer; She has magic and she knows how to deal with magic related problems but with this, as previously stated, is powerless. It also depicts the feelings of Wallflower towards Sunset, how she thinks she will only bog her down by trying to help/save her, thus being her downfall. Basically, Sunset thinks she has nothing to offer to Wallflower, which is exactly what Wallflower thinks in the opposite (as in, she has nothing good to give her). Overall I think both the story and the song it was inspired by, depicts the vulnerabilities that comes with a relationship, the insecurities of both parties, although in their own ways. The theme I would say is that to love is to open yourself to suffering for the other person, but to ultimately be strong for them and push forward, for both. Just as Sunset does.
On several occasions of the story it is stressed that she has her boots on the entire time, which is a running motif that is present from the beginning. She puts them on and is glad she had those at hand, they are what she needs to come to her aid, to some extent what she relies on to help her. Even at some point when doubt strikes her she wishes she was still wearing them, almost as a way of saying she shouldn't have tried to make a move. If I had to take a guess about what it symbolizes, that would be the mental and emotional state Sunset is, as she is on edge the whole time she has them on. Reaching the climax when she has her realization, she kicks them off, as she won't go anywhere, she already has what Wallflower needs and that is her own company, so she will stay alongside her and relax, something she knew she had to do for her sake.
There also seems to be a motif relating to the sky, the night and the stars. The cover art seems to support this, especially considering the name of their ship is sunflower, a flower that thrives during the day as it faces the sun (I know nothing about botany, forgive me if I said something inaccurate), and how almost all the scenes take place during the night. One way to interpret this, I believe, would be as the light at the end of the tunnel, further cemented by one of the final lines stating that dawn was yet to come. It was a critical moment for both of them, for the relationship, and the way the author describes and uses the setting itself to drive this idea home.
This care for the theme and its supporting elements show how much love has the author poured into this, something deserving of its proper respect and recognition.There are no coincidences in this fic. Everything is deliberate and has a clear purpose behind it.
W:riting - 10
The story is so tightly woven together that it would be difficult to touch on things that haven't been mentioned so far in the review. One of those things worth a mention, is the handling of the subject matter.
The story deals with the subject in a non crude manner by not downplaying the way it's treated. It never states outright that what Sunset sees is her cuts on her wrists, or the razors, among many other details. It almost avoids tackling it directly but far from undermining its impact, it shows us the emotional impact they have on the characters. Is not only a fantastic application of the show don't tell adage, but a choice that both the topic at hand, and the way it was presented, greatly benefited from.
It is also realistic because it's ugly, no punches pulled. Not everything goes smoothly. Sunset doesn't arrive in time to prevent her from self harming, Wallflower is not magically okay after Sunset talks to her, and even during doing so, she messes up or falters at some points. However the author also makes the effort to emphasize how small gestures are great leaps forward, such as Wallflower responding with okay, or just sipping on the hot cocoa Sunset prepared for her.
And lastly, how the internal turmoil and helplessness Sunset feels throughout the story is presented to us readers. How small the image of daydream shimmer looks like when pitted against the long lasting consequences of trauma. It drove home the desperation she, someone who is used to saving the day, was going through.
Relating to this, and delving into the characters themselves, Sunset deserves a special mention for having such an inspiring character growth. There are many instances where we clearly see her being fearful of what Wallflower is going through, to the point of denial at times. She almost can't stomach any of it, she can't even bear herself to ask the question or even think about it. She is frightened that anything she may do could bring more harm than good. But at the end she plows through these fears, even when it seems hopeless. And although she is still afraid and insecure, because Wallflower intrusive thoughts aren't those that go away overnight, she does not back down. She overcomes her own thoughts of not being what Wallflower needs in order to make her, Wallflower, see that she is the one she wants. That’s how you define strength.
Wallflower cannot be ignored either. The confidence she lacks on herself is that which she places on Sunset. Despite ultimately not being able to resist the urges, she makes the effort to call Sunset and tell her. Even if she thinks she is not deserving of her or that she ruined her night, she knows she can count on her to come to her side, without asking uncomfortable questions or judging her. That lack of confidence also disappears when she has to say that she loves Sunset. This really sells Wallflower as someone who wants to be loved and helped, but fears she may bog Sunset down in the process. A tragic and sympathetic character.
Both characters and their whole arcs can be summed up by comparing one of the initial sections with the climax of the story, encapsulating 8k of support and mutual understanding in a relationship:
From Sunset looking for an external solution or aid to make up for where she thought was lacking, expressing her lack of confidence of her own words accentuated by remarking how succinct Wallflower is in comparison, and also how meaningful she is:
Whereas Wallflower was sometimes sparse in words, Sunset was often abundant in them. Many times, she said things that an outsider would view as redundant. Things that were a given. Cliche, or predictable, or maybe even empty in the wrong ears.
Nothing she said was ever empty. Not on purpose. But words could only do so much. As much as Sunset loved her cell phone, she loathed its limitations in times like this.
If only technology was enough to bridge the gap. If only she could inject the power and fierceness and conviction she longed to convey into her words. Maybe, then, they wouldn’t ring so hollow.
To Sunset coming to terms with this flaw of herself and not letting it get in the way of her saying “I love you” to Wallflower, and Wallflower responding in the most reassuring display of trust she can think of from her. Simply poetic.
“Then… How about this…” Smiling, Sunset spoke, letting her words flow from a place beyond rhyme or reason. “Even if you don’t understand—even if your mind will never let you understand—trust me when I say how I feel, because I mean every word I say. Even if I don’t always word it right, I will never lie to you. And even if you can’t understand why I love you, that doesn’t make me not love you. If your mind won’t let you believe it, then at least trust that I’m being honest with you. That I always have, and always will.”
Once the silence settled between them, Sunset heard one of the most eloquent words in any language she would hope to know:
“Okay.”
What can the reader take away from this?
-Your story is not a race. If it needs to take its time for the characters to get lost in the world around them, so be it.
-A strong theme can make a story memorable, but a strong theme accentuated with running motifs and other thematic elements to support it will elevate the story to greatness.
-Dealing with sensible topics in a story is like delivering bad news. You have to be upfront about it, say the truth as ugly and imperfect as it may be.
-You matter. Love yourself as much as those around you do. Because they do.
Conclusion
A bittersweet portrayal of love in its high and lows, as raw in its representation of self-harm as the emotions it evokes, about two girls learning that they deserve each other. There’s a lot of stories tackling self-harm themes that don't live up to their self-harm tag that could learn from this story, too. I myself don't know that if I ever find myself in a similar situation for someone I care about, whether I would resort to the internet, advice or psychology books. But one thing I know for sure is that I would come back to this story to remember what that person actually needs. And I encourage everyone who reads this review to go give it a shot.
I laid all the cards onto the table, showing you what works and what doesn't, as well as what you can exactly get out of reading it in order for you to decide. Go check it out for yourself, and see if it truly was worth your time.
We will see again in my next review when my impending burn out wears off, until next time.
Don't forget to always speak your mind to the author! They always like it.
<If you could leave feedback about my reviews I would appreciate it! Always looking forward to improve!>
Oooo this is a good idea
Talk about pleasant surprises! Glad to see that you're still around, Smokey, and still doing your fantastic, one-of-a-kind reviews. And what a review this was! Wow.
I really appreciate all the thoughtful analysis and commentary here. You clearly took your time when reading this story, taking note of the details and reoccurring motifs. Hearing from readers like you is one of my most favorite things as a writer. Knowing that someone is reading your work with a critical eye and insightful observation is such a treat. Given how the remaining review groups on this site have either been dead or producing nothing but rudimentary commentary (oftentimes boiling down to nothing past, "I liked this!" or "I didn't like this!") I'm glad you've decided to start reviewing things yourself. I hope you continue doing so. Us writers would be (and I am!) thankful.
If I pointed out all the things I enjoyed about your review, I would essentially be doing a review of your review. (That, or quoting it entirely.) I will say, however, that I especially loved that you picked up on the symbolism of the boots. I don't think anyone else who has commented on/reviewed the story mentioned that, so that was nice to see.
Thank you again for taking the time to create this review, and for reading the story. I'm so happy you enjoyed it (and the banger of a song that inspired it). I hope to produce more quality work W.O.R.T.H.y of your praise in the future. :)
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Responses like this are what makes churning out 3k reviews after a whole week of work, worth it. Thank you
(thank god I hit the nail on the head with the boots motif I wasn't completely sure I got it's meaning)