Post Episode Blog (Horses Are Melodramatic III) · 4:14pm Dec 15th, 2012
So there was another episode of the Horse Show, perhaps you've heard of it?
I fucking hate fictional depictions of boot camp. Lightning Dust would have been signing her own death warrant the moment she eyeballed Spitfire, let alone challenging her, and Dash just sort of walks into Spitfire's office? What the Hell, man. What the fucking Hell?
And then people on Youtube complaining that Spitfire was being mean.
Whatever, the look that the pegasus who caught Fluttershy gave her was my favorite little touch. The yellow one was going to die and she just falls like an idiot. Maybe she couldn't save her friends, but for realsies?
Horses Are Melodramatic Part III: Repercussions of Nemesis Fight
Rainbow Dash waited. The clouds above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Wonderbolts in the Wonderbolt Academy. She didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Lightning Dust were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Rainbow was a pony for fourteen years. When she was young she watched the pegasi and he said to dad “I want to be on the clouds daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY TORNADOS”
There was a time when she believed him. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the Wonderbolt Academy of the Equestria she knew there were tornados.
“This is Dust” the radio crackered. “You must fight the clouds!”
So Rainbow gotted a tornado and blew up the clouds.
“IT GOING TO KILL US” said the morons in a hot air balloon.
“I will be an idiot” said the yellow pony and she forgotted how to fly. Rainbow rainbowed at her and tried to rescue her. But then the balloon fell and they were trapped and not able to fly.
“No! I must quit the Wonderbolts” Rainbow shouted
Spitfire said “No, Rainbow. You are the Wonderbolts”
And then Rainbow was led pony.
Some Period of Days Later
Later Rimjobbow Dass wsa having sex with Lightningdust becuas she was good now. But after tehy wer done she laufhed.
"Hah." seh said "taht was a trick. I am not good lkie I sad. I am alyaws evil!!" and she teird to kill her with a knife.
Rombusbow had too use her refelxes to sotp the knife and kciked her.
Scotchtapealoo ran into to see what was noise and saw that it was naked Lightningdust.
"Oh no, is Lightningdust!"
Litning Dusk tried now to kill Scottaloo but she msised and Scootaloo pncuhed her to go threw the window and she fel down and died.
"Ringwormbow" Scootaloo said and she was sad "I dont want to be train wtih you any more. I am tired of kiling." and she left.
"No! Brutaloo!" But it was teh end. Adn she nevr saw Scootaloo afetr that.
And not a single comment was had? I think your blog just left everyone speechless, I certainty enjoyed it.
625067
There wasn't a whole lot to discuss.
Part of why Horses Are Melodramatic now has its own sekrit unpublished story.
Although, the lack of discipline at the Wonderbolt Academy still vexes me so.
626576
Agreed, wouldn't they force the lightning bolt character to do 200 press-ups in the mud while calling her an unloved piece of waste(that would be redundant of course considering they're quadrupeds, but still).
I wouldn't know, never been to boot camp.
626637
Everyone would be doing push-ups in the mud. They've also got hoses to spray you with, just in case there isn't enough mud.
I honestly have no idea how someone acting like that in a real boot camp would play out, because no one does that shit. It doesn't matter how tough someone thinks they are, when the DI comes rolling down the hallway screaming his head off, everyone acts the way Rainbow Dash did in that scene, "yes sir, no ma'am, aye sir, aye ma'am."
The entire point of that biz is to insure that if you ever find yourself in a situation where guns are firing and people are dying, you'll pay more attention to the chief/sergeant/officer than the bad guys.
626747
So I take it you've been in boot camp at some point? I plan on never going there, I'm too lazy. When you think about it, chances are Equestria hasn't known war in hundreds of years and thus has become extremely demilitarized.
Why are we discussing a cartoon for 5 year old girls in real life terms... or at the very least why am I doing it...
626765
Yes.
Pretty much every fictional depiction of a boot camp fails for the same reason. Especially in cartoons, where it is expected that the tough, rebel type will keep being the tough, rebel type and succeed. It is designed to play into the egos of those retards who say, "well, if I was ever there they couldn't yell at me, because I'm so tough and great and amazing." Part of why I don't watch boy's cartoons.
On the why, part, I dunno. The more I think about it, the more I think that the problem people had with the episode (like Bronystories blog) weren't because Spitfire was "mean" or "a bitch," but because she was a pushover. If she'd been the iron fist of God, there'd be something to respect, but she wasn't.
Although, the Wonderbolts Academy might explain why the Wonderbolts themselves are so completely useless whenever they need to actually do something other than put on an airshow. Dash should have quit because they're an organization for weak show-offs and not worthy of someone who can actually get stuck in there against a dragon, manticore or God of Chaos.
626850
That gives me so many story idea's I'll never write. For some reason having a cocky, egotistical tough guy character utterly broken by a drill Sargent sounds almost overly appealing to me.
My theory is that because all the ponies are herbivores the only touch guys are only IRL internet touch guys because it never gets physical, and if it does they're made of marshmallow so no pain. Fuck I need to get to bed.
626887
A hippo is a herbivore, and they'll fuck you up just because they can. Bastards fight with lions and crocodiles for territory.
Actually, that might be an amusing fic idea. The ponies find themselves going to war against something (humans or griffons or whatever) and they need the "lesser races" to show them how actual fighting is done. All the recruits think it is a big joke, until the waddling hippo sergeant shows up.
626973
I like it. But I take it the humans will be Mongolians? Anything more advanced and there will be no competition.