Pitch Meeting: Cupcakes · 11:01pm Dec 26th, 2022
I can't stop. I've done two different Pitch Meetings before this one. I should probably write actual stories more, but I'm having real fun with this, and what's wrong with that? Let me know if you guys want me to do more of these.
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Producer Guy: "So you have some fanfiction for me?"
Writer Guy: "Yes sir, I do. It's called Cupcakes, and it stars Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.
PG: "Arguably the two most popular characters, so so far so good what happens?"
WG: "Well it starts out with Rainbow Dash flying around and doing tricks, but then she realizes that she was supposed to meet Pinkie Pie for something at Sugarcube Corner.
PG: "Okay."
WG: "So she goes to Sugarcube Corner and Pinkie Pie is just super thrilled to see her, I mean even more than usual."
PG: "Wow, she's uncomfortably happy, huh? Is this a ship fic?"
WG: "Aha... aha... no. So anyways Pinkie says that they're baking cupcakes."
PG: "That's the name of the story!"
WG: "It is. Pinkie gives Rainbow a cupcake to try out, but it turns out to be drugged, and Rainbow falls unconscious!"
PG: "Uh... that's... I'm interested to see where this is going, then."
WG: "You won't be disappointed, sir. Anyway, Rainbow wakes up and she's strapped to this table in a dark room. She's wondering what's going on, then sees Pinkie Pie. She thinks it's a prank, but Pinkie tells her it's not, and Rainbow starts getting really uncomfortable."
PG: "Same here, but what happens next?"
WG: "So Pinkie turns on the lights and Rainbow starts freaking out because she sees that Pinkie has brought her down to the basement, and it's set up for a party!"
PG: "P-parties are kind of fun."
WG: "Yes, but the decorations are kind of different. The room is decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails dance around the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes are stuck on the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs are made of bones and flesh of past ponies. On the table are the heads of four foals wearing their skin like party hats. On the rafters is a banner made from several pony hides with the words “Life is a party” scrawled in red. To complete the look, Pinkie Pie is wearing a dress quilted from cutie marks with six pegasus wings on her back and a necklace of unicorn horns!"
PG: "..."
WG: "..."
PG: "..."
WG: "... So what do you think?"
PG: "I think... I think I want to go home."
WG: "Hey, Rainbow Dash says that at one point in the story!"
PG: "I... what is wrong with you?!"
WG: "Nothing at all, sir, Sometimes you can be completely normal and still write things like this."
PG: "I don't think that's true at all, but... okay, what else?"
WG: "Well, Rainbow asks Pinkie why she's there, and Pinkie says that her number as come up, and she doesn't make the rules."
PG: "What does that mean, don't make the rules?"
WG: "Unclear, it's never touched upon again."
PG: "Sounds like there might be a halfway interesting idea there."
WG: "Possibly, but we'll never know. So then Pinkie tortures and murders Rainbow Dash."
PG: "I... okay. What else happens?"
WG: "What do you mean?"
PG: "I mean is there anything else that happens in the story?"
WG: "Not at all, no. Well, Pinkie gets excited about doing this to the rest of her friends."
PG: "*sigh.* You know this is messed up. You have to know that."
WG: "Eh, sometimes these things exist."
PG: "Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you have to be the one to make them. In any case, it's going to be really hard for Pinkie to actually get away with all of this."
WG: "Actually it's going to be super easy! Barely an inconvenience!"
PG. "Oh REALLY?!"
WG: "I mean, she hasn't been caught so far, and you know what's in the basement. No reason she gets caught now."
PG: "Yeah, but why wouldn't she be? I mean, you'd think the Cakes would catch her right away. And she puts the meat into cupcakes? How on Earth is she getting away with that part of it?"
WG: "Listen sir, I'm going to need you to get aaalllll the way off of my back about the logistics of this."
PG: "You know this time I'm not sure I should. You don't have anything here except torture and murder. Why not expand the 'I don't make the rules' thing? Even if you don't come up with anything good it's still better than nothing. Have it be some cult or something that Pinkie and the Cakes are involved in. The Cakes would have to be to close the plot hole of this all happening in their basement."
WG: "Yeah, well, I could do that, but I'm not gonna. So what do you think?"
PG: "I mean... you do you, I guess. I'm just glad that there's no way that ponies torturing and murdering each other isn't going to become an entire genre."
WG: "They'll be called 'glue fics' sir."
PG: "Huh?!"
These are great....but this one really shines a burning neon searchlight on a particular segment of the fandom...
I imagine this would be the same treatment for Smile HD.
5705278
Glad you like them.
To be fair, this was a trollfic.
5705286
Oh, I know. Still fun to do one of these.
I remember seeing one pitch video and I'm not sure how many I've watched but is the "I'm going to need you to get aaalllll the way off of my back" used in every single one?
5705311
I don't think all all of them, but the "barely an inconvenience" line is.
I would like to thank you for this. I never read Cupcakes, because I learned about what kind of story it was at about the same time that I learned that it existed. But now, I've read a plot synopsis, so I need to read it even less!
JFC, 'glue fics'.
5705393
Well, that's the term I've always heard.
5705400
First I've heard it, but I don't pay much attention to that kind of thing.
First off I can only imagine this in Ryan George's voice
Second off GLUEFIC???? how have I never heard this term before? I have been watching this show since I was a wee lad when it came out, I've seen everything this fandom has to offer except apparently a "Gluefic" wtf
5710975
1. Glad I'm getting the time right.
2. How has no one else heard gluefuc?!
3. Fits though, doesn't it?
PG: “Wait a minute, how did I know Pinkie Pie makes cupcakes out of ponies when you didn’t actually mention it?”
WG: “Hey, shut up. Anyways, what do you think?”
PG: “Very informative, and always on brand!”
WG: “Great!”