One Hundred And One Idiotic Plot Concepts, Free To Good Homes

So when I'm not starting arguments on story comment sections around here, I tend to hang out on Estee's Discord Server (we have fun there, sometimes jokes are allowed). And the occasional idea gets tossed around the server, chewed on, discussed - more for amusement than anything else, really. It's just how things go there.
About three months ago, for no special reason in particular, an idea popped into my head, and I decided to toss it out to the server and see what kind of reaction it got. Since it wasn't the first time someone had done this, I decided completely on a whim to refer to it as Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home. At the time, it was just a random thought. But the next day, a different idea popped up. And since I'd posted an idea the day before and called that one Today's, why not have another one the next day?

I think it was about five days before I decided to see how long I could keep doing it.

The answer turned out to be one hundred days.

One random FiMFic plot concept, every day, for a hundred days (plus one extra that spawned from a discussion). And I decided, upon hitting 100 days, that I'd share them and see if anyone was interested.

The following is the list of all of those Daily Idiotic Plot Concept. And they are all, of course, free to good homes. If anyone sees an idea they like? Snap it up. Write it. I DARE you.

All I ask is that if you do, hey, let me know. Not for credit or anything. Just because I'd love to see the results. As to the rest, well... here, have a hundred and one ideas. Enjoy.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #1

Clothing is hard for any but the most skilled unicorns. Ponies cannot tie laces. Ponies cannot fasten buckles. Ponies cannot join zippers. Ponies cannot manipulate buttons. This is why personally-tailored clothing is so necessary for them, because there is no such thing as One Size Fits All. But it also makes clothing an expensive extravagance that most do without.

Today, Rarity is going to address this.

Today, Rarity accidentally invents Velcro.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #2

When Luna was banished to the moon for a thousand years, almost all documentation about her was hidden away. It was a deliberate act, to protect the ponies of Equestria from knowledge of the Nightmare, and fear of its return. With her return, these lost archives of books, scrolls, songs, paintings, works of art, have been reopened at last, and are slowly being returned to public knowledge. It’s the work of years.

And on the subject of lost works of literature, in a long-sealed corner of a particular forgotten archive, a book has been discovered. It’s not about Princess Luna or the Nightmare at all. In fact, it only mentions her a single time within its covers… on a small Book Return Due Date library slip with her name on it, tucked in behind the last page.

Princess Luna is about to discover what a late fee is.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #3

Ponies have a habit of being pigeonholed into jobs by either their family traditions or the pressures of their Mark. They overlook the idea that they might find perfectly fulfilling work outside of the hobby their Mark grants them, away from the same ideas they've grown up with their entire lives. And in order to help with this, Miss Cheerilee is trying a new educational idea from The Canterlot Education Board: Work Experience.

Now the foals of Ponyville have a task ahead of them: Find a job. For one week. And keep it. Without resorting to asking family for help.

This can only end well.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #4

Smolder grew up in the Dragon Lands, where they're not exactly huge on learning about other cultures. She's unusually interested in the lives of different species, which is why she joined the Friendship Student Exchange Program to begin with, but there are just certain things about other species that she's never really thought about too much.

Like life expectancy, for example.

Tonight a member of the Young Six is going to stare down the concept of living thousands of years after her closest friends are gone, and think for the first time about how short their time together is going to be.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #5

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie have reputations as Ponyville’s most legendary pranksters. But even they never target Spike. Most ponies assume it’s because they don’t want to hurt the little guy’s feelings, like the cool adopted Big Sisters they are to him.

That’s not the reason.

When a prank from a pony who doesn’t know better targets both Twilight Sparkle and Spike, she gives him permission to show the real reason: it’s because he’s a worse prankster than Rainbow and Pinkie on their worst day, combined.

And now, he’s out to settle a score…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #6

Fae and supernatural creatures are often tricksters who delight in manipulating mortals for benefit, for power, for sustenance. When dealing with them, one must always be careful - never give an invitation to a vampire, never offer a favour to a trickster, never accept a gift from a faerie, never do anything to lessen or offend them. They are powerful and wily and cunning, and view all mortals as their playthings, and the inscrutable rules of their magic and the laws of hospitality make them far superior to mortals.

At least, usually.

Turns out this newest Fae to arrive in Ponyville was wildly unprepared for Pinkie Pie.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #7

There are certain jobs that nopony ever really grows up thinking that they want. Sometimes it's because the job is unpleasant. Other times, it's because you forget that the job even exists. And, sometimes, it's both.

Garbage Collection is one of those jobs that every settlement bigger than a single household absolutely requires. It gets done in the small hours of the day so others don't have to worry about it, and when it's done well, they never have to think about it at all. It just gets done. But somepony still has to do it.

And you know, the old joke is that nopony knows more about you, about anypony, than the one who collects your garbage.

This is the story of Dust Pan, Ponyville's sanitation engineer.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #8

Due to some requirements for farming and an excess of moisture due to offshore rainfall, the Weather Bureau has had to allow several summer days of extreme humidity. In most settlements it isn’t that bad; Ponyville, sadly, is right next to the Everfree Forest and Foggy Bottom Swamp. So it’s been exceptionally bad. The local weather teams have done what they can, and it’s helped a lot, but even now as the temperature starts to drop and the mugginess goes down, it’s too late.

There’s an epidemic of sweat rash. All across Ponyville, the citizens are driven nearly mad by the incessant itching. And they’ll do whatever they can to find relief.

This may need more Emergency Support requests than usual.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #9

It’s safe to say that Rainbow Dash is not the intellectual powerhouse of the Bearers. She doesn’t have the brilliance of Twilight Sparkle, the patience of Fluttershy, the cunning of Rarity, the common sense of Applejack, or the esoteric knowledge of Pinkie Pie.

What she does have, however, is a practically eidetic memory and an instinctive knack for seeing patterns, paths, routes and manoeuvres. And sometimes, these things can be used in surprising ways she’d never admit to.

Meet Rainbow Dash, secret chess savant.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #10

The Apple Clan have family all across Equestria, in all nooks and crannies and doing all manner of jobs. And all of them follow the same creed — when you need help, you ask family.

A cousin of Applejack’s has sent a letter, asking for her assistance. They need to be out of town for a few days, but they need to keep their restaurant open because of the license renewal… could she help? It’s for only a couple of evenings, and they know she’s a good cook…

You don’t turn down family. And Applejack has a group of loving friends who’d do anything to help her. Besides, it’s just food service. How much of a disaster could the Bearers being in charge of a restaurant possibly cause?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #11

Lately it feels like a new end of the world is coming every few months in Equestria. You wouldn’t think that it’s possible for quite so many apocalypses to pile up at once, but one only needs look at the evidence. And where there’s a problem, there’s always an idiot who thinks they’re the one with a solution.

The hot new trend in Equestria is Prepping. With a good enough bunker, a clever enough store of equipment, and a large enough stack of supplies, you can be ready for anything! At least, that’s the theory, and one pony has decided that they absolutely are.

Then Discord found out.

He always did like a challenge.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #12

There has recently been a rash of graffiti around Canterlot. Publicly visible locations, usually prominent features and landmarks, but occasionally choosing prominent storefronts and sections of the Palace walls. Always, locations that will be seen.

The style of the art and writing, the cant and cadence of the poetry written, and the choice of unique and distinctive paint used, all indicate a single culprit. One who is exceptionally prolific, and good at remaining unseen. What also suggests this is the common, singular theme of their graffiti.

Celestia’s large, and apparently well-appreciated, butt.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #13

Marks are one of the most important parts of a pony’s life. It describes their greatest talent, and in so many cases, their greatest passion. For most, it becomes tied to their profession, playing a huge part in the course of their life. And always, the Mark guides them, pushing them forward, making them want to exercise their Talent, driving them to be who they are.

So what happens when a Pony can no longer exercise that Talent? Not because of an injury, or because of changed circumstances, but simply because time takes things away from us all?

What does a Pony feel on the day when their Mark burns in their heart as strongly as ever, but the day has come to retire?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #14

Applejack is hardworking, dedicated, scrupulously honest as befits her element… and, let’s be honest, is often damn near broke. The Acres do well, of course, but farming is never an especially high-income industry when you have to do all the work yourself, and the barn needs repairing and the plow’s all rusted and the trees need fungicide and the rain delivery is late again and…

Finding an enormous box full of bits buried on the back Acres would seem like the answer to all her problems. But when the digging of a new irrigation ditch uncovers exactly that, a lot of questions arise. Who buried it there? Why? Are they coming back for it? Will the authorities believe that the Apples legitimately found it through pure luck? Are any pirate curses involved as Apple Bloom seems utterly convinced there must be?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #15

The Bearers are brave, wise, caring, heroic. They are the closest of friends. They have faced Armageddon together, braved Tartarus together, stared down Death herself together. And nothing has ever broken their bonds.

Tonight, however, they’re stranded after a mission in a two-bit backwater for the night, and together, they have exactly enough bits for two pizzas between them. And now they have to select toppings that all six will like.

Battling Discord might have been an easier test of friendship.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #16

Fluttershy is an avid naturalist, and loves rare and unusual animals. One of her closest friends is Discord, whose appearance is nothing else so much as a number of rare and unusual animals glued together. It works well, usually.

Today, Fluttershy meets a Platypus. And she thinks Discord has some explaining to do.

Discord is pretty sure this one isn’t his fault…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #17

Rarity’s reputation as a Fashionista has grown steadily over time, helped in no small way by her position as a national hero and confidant of the Crown. It’s still an uphill struggle in that most Ponies don’t wear clothes, of course, but there’s an intersection of Art and Fashion that she’s tries her hoof at more than once, to great success: Costume Design.

Of course, that’s so far been with stage productions. It was only a matter of time until someone within the Equestrian Cinema Industry contacted her, and in this case, it’s helped by another connection: A.K. Yearling herself suggested Rarity to design the costumes for the upcoming Daring Do film. It’s a fantastic opportunity for her, and of course she accepts — it’s well within her talents.

After all, the only possible problems would be with creating costumes that are accurate to the books (as judged constantly by Rainbow Dash). And to the culture (as judged constantly by Twilight Sparkle). And to the time period (as judged constantly by Luna and Celestia). And to actual events (as judged constantly by A.K. Yearling). And are comfortable to wear, and practical for filming in, and are good for marketing, and can be instantly adjusted on the fly to suit the Director’s notes, and…

…actually, is it too late for her to quit and get a job at Hayburger instead?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #18

Queen Chrysalis has had a brilliant idea. Her drones are adept at mimicking the foolish, weakling ponies — but they keep getting caught when they make single, tiny mistakes in their disguises.

But now, she has learned about Nightmare Night. When everyone wears a disguise. And if her Drones make an error, nopony will catch on. They can strategically position themselves all across Ponyville, and in the morning when the Ponies are exhausted from the celebration, they strike!

Except that in practise, Chrysalis finds herself in the middle of the town square, disguised, with absolutely no idea which of the thousands of milling ponies all around her are Changelings, and no way to coordinate or give orders.

Chrysalis has just realised her cunning plan has no Step Two.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #19

Prince Blueblood is a vain, dim, arrogant, unlikeable, egotistical twit whose sole virtues revolve around his looks and his wealth. Yet despite this, he’s allowed to hold the title of Prince and ruthlessly use his connection to the Crown for his own entirely selfish benefit. Many have speculated as to exactly why.

What none of them considered is that Celestia has gone to great pains to ensure that Blueblood stays exactly where he is. She has secretly protected him from the consequences of his actions and words. She has quietly ensured his poor investments do not fail. She has personally acted without the knowledge of any other pony to keep Blueblood in power, and for one simple reason.

So long as Blueblood remains the greatest political threat to her power extant, she will never ever have to worry about political threats.

The problem is how much effort it takes to protect her nominated Fall-Guy from himself.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #20

Trixie may not be the most scrupulous mare in the world, but she takes tremendous pride in what she does. She puts on the most magnificent shows anypony has ever seen, she dazzles even the finest of spellcasters with her brilliance, she uses illusion and theatricality to take magic in directions they’ve never seen before. And then, she gets paid for it, because she’s earned that pay.

But this latest town she’s arrived in? Nopony is paying. Because they’ve given their bits to another travelling performance that also makes outrageous promises — Flim and Flam, with their latest amazing brand of Snake Oil. And the uneducated podunks of this hick town might not know a scam when they see it, but Trixie does. She knows the Brothers are lying, she knows their product is fake, and she knows that these townsfolk’s bits are going into that purse and never coming out again.

Bits that, by right, should be going to Trixie.

The Brothers have just made a terrible enemy.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #21

Princess Luna is, despite her distaste for proper diplomacy, a pony with practically no bias against others. She understands perhaps better than anypony the harm caused by prejudice, and the importance of giving another a chance to prove their good intentions and noble soul. It would be fair to say that she is without a doubt, one of the most kind-hearted, open-minded Ponies in all of Equestria.

…Equestria a thousand years ago, that is. Turns out that what’s considered appropriate and polite and jaw-droppingly racist can change a lot in that amount of time.

Pity the pony assigned to be Luna’s Public Relations Advisor…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #22

Discord tries hard to be a good friend to Fluttershy. He really does. It’s not easy: she’s alarmingly mortal and fragile and wouldn’t survive more than a clawful of the things he considers fun, and she frowns upon him inflicting his sense of humour upon others to a large degree. But she gives him a lot of leeway and love, and he tries to return the favour as best he can.

Today, however, he’s discovered that Fluttershy is a little bit sad. Rarity has had to cancel the weekly trip she and Fluttershy take to the spa because of a last-minute annoyance, and Fluttershy doesn’t like going to the spa alone. Which is a shame, because she’d been looking forward to it this week.

But no matter! Discord, the best friend anypony could ever hope for, is on the job! And if Fluttershy hates going to the spa alone, why, he’ll simply go with her! Aloe and Lotus will doubtless be delighted! Right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #23

Equestria is a nation that enjoys a good celebration. Birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions. And with Generosity as one of the great Pony Virtues, gift-giving is a big part of it. There’s nothing they love more than giving and receiving a present.

Of course, this also means Ponies will reliably receive a few gifts per month, and they start to add up after a while. Which leads to another great Equestrian cultural pastime: re-gifting.

And, also of course, the great cultural phenomenon of keeping obsessive track of who gave what to whom, to prevent a re-re-regifting Faux Pas.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #24

The Mare-Do-Well Incident was one of the more infamous moments of Bearer Shenanigans for a variety of reasons. Not merely for the psychological torture and public humiliation of one of their own, but because for a single shining moment, Equestria seemed to have a real, honest-to-goodness Super Hero there to save the day. Even after the end of the wacky adventure, there are some who missed that idea.

But this is Equestria, where there is no idea so bad that somepony won’t decide that they should do it a second time. And obviously, it needs to be done in the style of Affirmative Action, which means it’s time for the colts to have a turn!

There’s just one problem: even by the standards set by the Mare-Do-Well disaster, the group of Ponyville stallions who’ve come up with their shared identity of Stalli-On-Guard are unbelievably bad at every aspect of the job…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #25

There are a lot of extremely archaic laws that have been in place in Equestria over its long history. And for the most part, Princess Celestia has shut them down, with years of hard work and the occasional humiliating diplomatic arrangement. But over the years, with so many bylaws and back laws and customs and traditions, the occasional one has slipped through the cracks.

One in particular has been the line of succession. There were a few regrettable political marriages that thankfully never really went anywhere, and once that custom was dropped, Celestia thought that she’d seen the end of it. Which, to be fair, she had.

Princess Luna, unfortunately, has had no such amendment to her own laws. And somepony has managed to dig up an old law regarding the line of succession. It’s being amended, of course, and will be shut down… but in the meantime, Princess Luna has a problem she’s not had to deal with in a very long time.

Suitors.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #26

During her visits to the Human World, Twilight encountered many incredible technologies. Cars, phones, electricity. But once she got used to the shock of such big advancements, the little ones were what stuck with her the most. For example, she can return to Equestria and survive without a phone, but part of her still misses the human world's music, unable to be replicated with Equestrian instruments. And so she occasionally, with the help of Sunset Shimmer, has certain things sent through the Portal to her, as little pick-me-ups from this other world

Today, one of her packages has been intercepted, and Equestria is not prepared for what it's about to experience for the first time.

Ponies, meet Peanut Butter.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #27

Equestria runs on magic. That's not just a metaphor nor a cultural phenomenon, it's literal. Every form of technology more advanced than the steam engine runs on magic. This is, in many ways, perfectly reasonable and practical. But it also means that when you buy a common device, you're never entirely sure how it works at first.

Take a toaster. Does it magically heat up a metal element to toast the bread? Does it conjure flames to scorch it? Does it open a portal to the elemental plane of fire? Or does it simply transmute the bread into toast in an instant? All of them are equally plausible, and suffice to say, it's VERY important for ponies to read the manual on any new appliance they purchase.

Today a new invention has hit the shelves. Unfortunately for Equestria, it's the Roomba.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #28

Rarity and Sweetie Belle have had their troubles connecting and finding common ground. In many ways Rarity was forced to grow up too fast, and distances herself from the child she was, while Sweetie Belle could perhaps be accused of not growing up quite fast enough, with the shenanigans she’s infamous for. But they dearly love one another, and try to find activities to share.

After witnessing a few of the more Ponyville-Centered adventures that the Bearers have shared, however, Sweetie Belle has observed that her sister apparently has a secret hobby that she’s never owned up to. After all, Rarity didn’t just come up with those fighting moves on the spur of the moment; somepony must have taught her martial arts. And Miss Cheerilee has been encouraging the younger unicorn to take up an extracurricular sport to keep herself in shape…

Rarity and Sweetie Belle sharing a self-defence class. Equestria is not prepared.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #29

Rainbow Dash has known her whole life that she was destined for greatness. She created the Sonic Rainboom, she became a National Hero, she worked alongside the most legendary figures alive. But the day she knew she’d made it wasn’t thanks to cheering fans, or headline news, or even the acceptance letter from the Wonderbolts. It was the sign of a true legend: Licensed Merchandising.

When she got a letter and a contract today inviting her to officially sign her name to a product, she knew she’d finally made it. She and Tank celebrated all morning, and then she checked the only two details that mattered: How much recognition would she get, and how much of the profits would she get? And when the contract promised large amounts of both, she signed.

It was only after the mail had been posted that it occurred to her that there was, perhaps, a third concern, that in her excitement she may slightly have overlooked.

What, exactly, did she just legally sell her likeness to?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #30

Following her ascension to Alicorndom, Twilight Sparkle is, in her own words, still mastering flight. In Rainbow Dash’s own words, she ”Still sucks harder than a tornado drinking a milkshake.” Which is why Rainbow Dash has been giving Twilight Sparkle flying lessons. And as infamous as Rainbow Dash is for laziness, she still maintains the importance of routine and schedule for training, which appeals to Twilight Sparkle’s organised nature.

This week, however, Rainbow Dash has a work commitment and can’t attend their training session. Instead, she’s suggested that Twilight Sparkle find a third party to give her some tips and critiques, seeing what a fresh pair of eyes can do, while still keeping up her training regimen. And, Twilight Sparkle being the diligent sort, has learned that one of the main Wonderbolts trainers is available, and has requested their assistance.

Unfortunately, she’s chosen to do this by sending a letter via Spike, requesting a personal, private, one-on-one training session, with the utmost discretion, between a famous sporting heartthrob and a notably single Alicorn Princess. And nopony ever said that Soarin was the sharpest bulb in the deck.

Twilight Sparkle really, truly, just wants a training session. So why has Soarin arrived with roses?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #31

Spike has been doing some help for Pinkie Pie lately — sending party invitations for her, providing a few fire tricks, even helping her come up with different decoration ideas with his eye for colour. And as a thank-you, she’s baked him a treat: a half-dozen gem-laced cupcakes. There’s red velvet ruby, there’s blueberry sapphire, there’s emerald chocolate-chip.

Or at least, there were. She was only distracted in Sugarcube Corner for an instant, really! But it was long enough that when she turned around, Spike’s box was gone before she could take it over to him, and another box of ordinary cupcakes was in its place.

It’s a disaster! Those were her special treat to Spike, they were his thank-you, she worked extra-hard on them, she wanted to see his reaction to the different flavours! Also there’s a slight risk they’ll tear up the insides of any pony who eats them. But mostly the other stuff!

Well, no matter. Detective Pinkie is going to track down this Pastry Switcheroo and solve the issue, and hopefully before any teeth are broken.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #32

The Vault of Canterlot Palace is arguably the single most secure location in all of Equestria. Guarded ceaselessly day and night, in the depths of the most protected building in the nation, behind illusions and traps, barriers and wards, and the great door itself sealed by a magical lock to which only Celestia herself has the key.

Well, she did before she accidentally locked the key inside.

Now Celestia has to figure out how to get into the Vault and retrieve the key before the rest of Equestria finds out that the Princesses have no way to access their In Case Of Emergency magic arsenal. And it needs to happen with the utmost secrecy.

Start rounding up the motley crew: It’s Heist Time.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #33

Fluttershy is the local Beastmaster of Ponyville, and her talents are almost unique. The ability to speak to almost any animal, reason with them, identify with them, even convince them to do things for her… there are very few ponies who have anything approaching that ability.

Fortunately, she would never use this power to her own advantage. She would never, for example, train rats and birds into her own private army of scavengers, pranksters and soldiers to do her bidding throughout the land.

No, really, that’s not sarcasm. She would genuinely never do that.

Snails, on the other hand, who controls a legion of ants? He totally would.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #34

Celestia and Luna love each other dearly, there's never any doubt of that. They'd do anything for one another, without hesitation or question. But they're still sisters, and occasionally that means playing a prank on each other.

Celestia, unfortunately, may have gone too far with this one. She tricked Luna into making a Pinkie Promise on an incredibly minor matter, cupcake-in-her-eye and all, without telling Luna the details of what precisely a Pinkie Promise was. And because of the absurdity of the ritual, Luna didn't take it seriously, because clearly her sister was joking.

This means that Luna, thinking the entire promise was a joke to begin with, has just broken a Pinkie Promise.

There is a Party Pony incoming at speed.

The Lunar Guard are in for the test of their lives.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #35

Spike may be Twilight's #1 Assistant, but he also occasionally has his own projects and duties. And while it's unusual for a child of his age to be called away on business, his presence has been requested at Canterlot Palace for a week. Which means Twilight Sparkle is going to be unsupervised.

Twilight Sparkle promised that while her little brother is away, she'll eat three meals a day, and they will not all be takeout. But it's only after he's left that she realises the flaw in her plan: She has no idea what she's doing. Fortunately, she has friends who she can ask for cooking lessons!

Unfortunately, those friends are Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

Now to see if the two Earth Ponies can survive one another's teaching styles, if Twilight Sparkle can survive a week without her assistant, and if anypony at all can survive eating something she cooks.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #36

It’s fair to say that Sweetie Belle spends more time on her own than most ponies expect. They tend to think of her as one part of an inseparable trio, but… well, Apple Bloom often has chores, Scootaloo is often MIA, and Sweetie Belle spends a non-zero amount of her own time grounded. And the problem is that she doesn’t have any real hobbies. She has several dozen failed hobbies that didn’t earn her a Mark, but that’s about it.

She does like music, of course. But clearly she’s not any good at it, because she sings all the time and it never earned her a Mark. Still, Rarity lately has been encouraging her to pick up a hobby, something that she can use to fill in the hours when her friends aren’t around, something constructive that doesn’t involve tree sap or fire. And so she’s had a brainwave: why not take up an instrument, instead?

The drums. The violin. The trombone. The guitar. The trombone again. And she can practise as long as she wants, in the privacy of the boutique, at all hours.

Rarity is going to be so happy with her.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #37

Ponies, generally speaking, tend to be fairly athletic as a species. They don't all run marathons for fun, of course, but the most common form of transportation over long distance does happen to be their own four hooves, and being able to trot at a good pace is pretty much the accepted standard. That's not to say they're all fanatics for marathons, hiking, and physical activity, of course. But some of them are! And many of those ponies don't quite grasp that others might not share their passion.

This is probably why Rainbow Dash just informed her best friends that she's got them all a treat: A weekend hiking expedition up the western slopes of Mount Mürderhörn, with one of the native Yaks as their guide. To her, it's going to be an awesome callback to the first adventure they all shared when they became friends.

To her friends, well, at least it's going to provide a lot of convenient locations to hide the body.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #38

The town of Ponyville suffers a lot of disasters. Some, it’s only fair to admit, are directly related to something the Bearers have done. Others are caused by the problem of the week spontaneously seeking one or more Bearers out on its own. But plenty of these disasters just sort of… happen, in a way that genuinely can’t be blamed on any of the Bearers, and when the happenings happen, the local heroes step up to save the day.

The thing is, they’re not always around. Their adventures take them out of Ponyville every other week. And it’s not like you can ask an angry Ursa Major to reschedule because the preferred local vanquishing method is temporarily unavailable. So when these disasters strike, and the local heroes aren’t so local, who gets roped into dealing with them?

We know who watches the watchmen. But which sorry idiot has the job of filling in for the watchmen when they’re off at a Canterlot garden party?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #39

Fluttershy's care for her animal friends knows no bounds. It's not just giving the occasional meal, it's helping them when they're sick or hurt, it's ensuring they're safe in harsh weather, it's protecting them when they're alone or with young. And sometimes, it's a bit of improvisation. Like last week, when a dog owner in Ponyville had their pet suffer a small injury. Nothing severe! But enough that Fluttershy had to shave a small amount of fur off in order to clean and treat the wound, and leave the pooch with an unfortunate bald spot. Fortunately, she's something of an amateur seamstress, and it was nothing at all to provide a small warm coat to protect the dog during the cool weather of early spring.

What everypony failed to consider is the herd instinct of the species, and the eagerness with which they'll adopt a new trend. Which means that while all Fluttershy intended was to keep an animal friend warm while they recover from an injury, what Ponyville saw was a terrier strutting around in a fancy new coat.

It's only a matter of time until Rarity receives an order for the first fully-stocked Pet Ensemble...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #40

"Life in Ponyville is challenging" may be the biggest understatement ever since Celestia observed that her sister was acting funny a thousand years ago. It's not just the monster attacks or the crazy weather, those are things nopony can be blamed for. It's not the constant threats to destroy the world, those are problems that every town and settlement have to deal with. It is, to put it bluntly, a problem that revolves around six mares and their immediate families, and the fact that reality seems to be unwinding itself around them on a daily basis, in ways that inevitably catches up surrounding innocent ponies, and always for the worse.

Of course, the citizens of Ponyville can't exactly ask the heroes to stop hero-ing, and they accept that the Bearers are not doing this on purpose. It's hard to hold a personal grudge against them. But at the same time, it's also necessary to have... ways to vent. To let themselves process the frustration. To simply express their dismay at the way their world seems to work. And so sees the formation of their support group: Ponies Enduring Extreme Vexation Every Day.

The mayor. The schoolmarm. The chief of police. The vet. The mailmare. The owner of the local department store. The managers of the spa. Innocent, normal, everyday ponies who truly don't hate their local celebrities, but... well, occasionally need somepony to share a drink with and have a good old-fashioned bitching about life with.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #41

One of the most beloved items in Sugarcube Corner is that most sacred of Baker's Tools: The Sourdough Starter. Cup and Carrot Cake have had theirs for years, fermented to perfection, and as carefully tended as any tree on Sweet Apple Acres. It's what gives their bread that perfect flavour, rise, colour. It's practically family.

Twilight Sparkle, recently-ascended Alicorn, is a regular visitor to Sugarcube Corner, both as a customer and a friend of Pinkie Pie. She'd already mastered Unicorn magic before her transformation, of course. And with the help of Rainbow Dash, she's learning to master Pegasus magic as well. Earth Pony magic is still a bit of a blind spot to her, but she's learning how to handle it, and it's not like the power to Make Non-Animal Living Things Grow Really Really Fast can possibly cause problems, right? Even if she has that power, boosted up to Alicorn levels, with practically no control over it, right? All she has to do is not let herself get carried away when she's near living or growing things, and it's not like there are any of those in a bakery, right?

...say, does anyone hear that rumbling sound from the Sugarcube Corner proving cellar?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #42

Shining Armor is one of the most respected military minds in Equestria. The fact that he was elevated to commander of the most elite military unit in the nation, at an age where most ponies would have been proud to merely get their own squad, speaks volumes. He’s a skilled tactician, a powerful fighter, and a charismatic leader on the battlefield. But now, he’s in charge of the Crystal Empire’s Armed Forces.

The problem is that Sombra never really cared for delegation. He saw every pony beneath him as, well, beneath him. Expendable. And nopony was allowed to make decisions without his approval. Which meant there was really no chain of command, and as a result, his defeat has left the Crystal Empire completely lacking in soldiers of officer material. Shining Armor is pulling his mane out, trying to think of a way to encourage them to use strategy, tactical thinking, to be able to map out a battlefield and command forces and use their skills for the good of their unit and —

— no. No, he couldn’t do that, could he? It’s a game, it’s something he does as a hobby, you can’t use Hyperspace Hyperwars and Ogres & Oubliettes to train military officers, there’s no way he could possibly…

…the Crystal Ponies could probably craft some really pretty dice, though…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #43

Sometimes, you visit a town with no spark. No life. No joy. A town filled with houses that aren’t really homes. A town where folks exist but they don’t really live. A town desperately in need… of a party.

Pinkie Pie can spot one of these towns from a mile away. And in this case, an inch, because she’s in one. And she just knows that a good party would solve all of their problems. But the town’s spokespony, Mayor Hoofloose, has set a curfew. And noise restrictions. And a ban on parties, celebrations, shindigs, gatherings, get-togethers, hoedowns, hootenannies, and box socials in general ad infinitum.

She still needs to fix this. But the other Bearers have desperately pleaded with her, saying that just this once, they’d love to not get arrested. And she doesn’t want to let the girls down, either. So there’s only one thing to do.

Stealth Party Time.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #44

Ponies, perhaps unsurprisingly, tend to approach truly new and innovative things with a herd mentality. Which is to say that they first avoid it like the plague, until somepony is brave enough to try it and find out that it’s enjoyable — at which point the herd will all attempt to try it at once and make it the hit new craze. If it can be deliberately tapped, it’s a great way for a small business to succeed.

This new Minotaur restaurant in Canterlot, however, are not trying to tap the herd mindset. They’re just innocently offering their cuisine to a new market to see if ponies like it. They can’t possibly be prepared for what happens once a Princess tries it and mentions it’s nice.

Honestly, all she did was say she liked Falafel…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #45

Pegasi can manipulate the weather, temperature, air currents. And so the ability to see infra-red and heat signatures is one of their lesser-known required secondary abilities. Dragons, being essentially gigantic lizards, have a similar ability. Changelings, being giant insects, are similarly sensitive to heat and have a knack for detecting it.

Normally this is simply an interesting fact of biology… until a casual remark from Rainbow Dash reveals that it has the slight minor side-effect of destroying the concept of privacy entirely. Oh, the walls of a house are usually thick enough to block it. But a window, with only shutters or curtains behind it? Anycreature with the ability to see heat signatures can glance at a closed window and immediately see what’s going on behind those curtains. Often, whether they want to or not.

It’s strange how until this morning, Mr. Rich had never even heard the term “Thermal-Vision-Proof Curtains” until Rarity burst into his store shrieking about them.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #46

Pony architecture is, to put it politely, complicated. To put it impolitely, it’s somewhere between insane and impossible. Take Ponyville: four of their most noteworthy structures are a Joke & Toy Shop shaped like a Jester’s Hat, a bakery shaped like a Gingerbread House, a dress shop shaped like a Carousel, and a library that’s a tree. Not shaped like a tree — it’s an actual, literal tree. And this is a small town on the edge of the Everfree forest, absolutely nothing compared to the architectural absurdity that is the City-Fortress of Canterlot, which is somehow built sticking sideways out of a mountain.

The engineers and builders of other nations take one look at the construction projects of Ponies and run screaming. The physicists of those nations take a look and break down sobbing. And yet, somehow, these buildings get made and completely fail to collapse at the first strong breeze they encounter. So when the head of the Equestrian Guild of Architects, Grand Designs, is called to the Palace for a meeting with the Princesses… well, one wonders what could possibly be next.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #47

As Equestria connects with the other nations of its world, it becomes more and more important to educate the citizenry. The sight of a Yak or a Minotaur shouldn’t make them stop and stare. And education must, of course, start with the youngest generation.

Miss Cheerilee has decided the best way to have her students appreciate other nations is to connect with them, and has started a Pen Pals Program with classrooms in other countries. Her foals will write to Yaks, Griffons, Minotaurs, Dragons, whatever distant lands they can, and learn about the life and people there while teaching the same.

It’s a brilliant, harmless idea. It’s not like a foal’s perspective of life in Ponyville could spill state secrets, violate international law, or provide existential horror of any kind.

Right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #48

Sweet Apple Acres deals with every problem a farm would normally have, and a few that it doesn’t. For the most part, the Apple family handles them all just fine. But one recurring seasonal issue, especially around an orchard? Wasps.

This season, they’re particularly bad. Big Macintosh is pretty certain he knows where the nests are, though. And he knows a hundred methods for getting rid of them. Sure, he could ask for help, but… come on, he’s a grown stallion who knows his livelihood. A couple of bugs are surely no match for him.

It’s Ponyville’s biggest stallion vs its tiniest pest. Get your tickets now, folks.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #49

It's not exactly a secret that Spike's birthdays can be... problematic. Nopony in Ponyville, including him, wants another Greed Growth incident. But he still has ponies who love him and want to show that on his special day, and so they've worked out what can be done safely: a party, plenty of food and singing, and a limited number of gifts. No risk of hoarding.

Of course, this means the girls want to make up in quality what his gifts lack in quantity. And the girls have a fantastic idea: A limited-issue collector's-edition Captain Amazing action figure. They can't get it at Ponyville stores, of course, so they'll just need to take a quick gallop to the collector's boutiques in Canterlot to find one.

Six mares on a simple trip to buy a toy. What could possibly go wrong?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #50

To say that Fluttershy has textbook anxiety would be to vastly overstate how much detail the average textbook goes into. She’s practically a psychology thesis paper in her own right. There have even been suggestions of her seeking therapy… which would be wonderful, if there was any chance whatsoever of her speaking to the therapist.

But as psychological science advances in Equestria, new treatments are coming out every day, and plenty of them for nonverbal patients. Ways to feel safer, more secure and protected, in an intimidating world. Like carrying little good luck charms for emotional grounding, having a personal mantra to help focus, or even taking an animal companion out in public to feel they’re not alone.

That last one especially appeals to Fluttershy. She just needs the perfect companion to make her feel safe, secure and protected wherever she goes.

World, meet Harry, the Emotional Support Grizzly Bear.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #51

When Twilight Sparkle first came to Ponyville, she needed books to tell her how to have a sleepover and celebrate events. Shining Armor didn’t think to tell his siblings he was getting married until a few days before the event. Spike didn’t even know what a birthday party WAS.

Clearly, this is a family that doesn’t know how parties work. At all. And it must start with the source: Night Light and Twilight Velvet need an education as well. But fear not! Pinkie Pie is on the case!

Twilight Sparkle’s entire family is about to attend Professor Pinkie Pie’s Parties 101 class and lecture. And attendance is very, very mandatory.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #52

Insurance in Equestria is... complicated. You can insure against theft or fire, sure. But how do you get storm insurance when the weather is scrupulously scheduled and maintained? What kind of insurance covers a rampaging Hydra? Does the bi-annual near-apocalypse raise or lower premiums? And how do you rule Acts of God when said Chaos God may personally show up to ask why he's being blamed for something he didn't do?

But as agents of the Crown, the Bearers are legally required to have coverage. And when one lodges a claim for Personal Injury And Destruction Of Property after the latest mission, the question arises.

Should we feel more sorry for the mare making the claim, or the poor company agent trying to process it?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #53

Rarity is a gifted fashioista with a wide range of talents. But there is one field she's never really experimented with: Millinery. This, despite the fact that hats are probably the most commonly-worn item of clothing in Equestria. She just prefers the artistry of a dress, hats aren't her thing. But she does often get asked to create ensembles, so... she's started to dabble.

The good news is that she's getting more sales. Ponies like hats! And the income is good! But... well, it's not dressmaking. It's not her passion. Which means she has to ask herself -- at what point is she compromising on her dreams just to pay the bills?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #54

Not every creature in Equestria is sapient. Sometimes an animal is just an animal. But among those animals are a few that are definitely… more advanced… than other examples of their species. Tank is far more capable than the average tortoise. Owlowiscious is definitely not your standard owl. Angel Bunny… is Angel Bunny.

Miss Cheerilee didn’t fully consider this when she got a class pet for her schoolhouse. One of the standard ones — a small creature with its own habitat that the foals can learn about and assist in the care of. One that will live at the schoolhouse five days a week, and will go home with a different foal to be cared for each weekend.

She wasn’t prepared for the idea that the class pet might be able to outwit some of her pupils…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #55

Queen Chrysalis' latest scheme is well under way. She has successfully set up an identity for herself, she has a comfortable apartment, she has the beginnings of a social network. Now all she needs to do is begin making connections and find ponies worthy of replacing for another Changeling Infestation and Invasi-

Suddenly, a soft knock at her door. She has a visitor: The young foal who lives next door. The young foal who has been watching Chrysalis and knows she's a Changeling. Who will tell everypony, ruining the invasion plans and sending Chrysalis away in another disgraced failure. Unless, that is, Chrysalis does this foal a few favours.

The mighty Queen of the Changelings is about to meet her latest nemesis: A small, genre-savvy child.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #56

Shining Amor is, in all fairness, a very good soldier and military leader. He earned his rank. There is no question that he’s a devoted husband and loving father. He deserves all the praise for that. He is even, by all accounts, a popular and respected Prince Consort among the ponies of the Crystal Empire. They genuinely like him.

What he’s not, however, is… well… particularly eloquent or good at thinking on his hooves in a conversation. Social situations where he has to come across as a normal pony. And the thing is that a celebrity of his status will occasionally be asked to make comment on various things for the media.

Last week, Shining Armor was interviewed for a magazine about his life. Things such as being head of Celestia’s personal guard, married to Cadance, brother to Twilight Sparkle, father to Flurry Heart. Topics that are, one might say, filled with sensitive and potentially embarrassing information.

Today, the magazine with his interview comes out.

He is already buying his disguise and train tickets to Prance.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #57

When Discord was reformed by the friendship of the Bearers — well, one of them at any rate — he made a few promises to limit his behaviour regarding chaos, pranks and shenanigans about Ponyville. And because it was such an obvious target, one of the first such promises asked of him was from Twilight Sparkle, asking that he not interfere with correspondence sent to Princess Celestia, because such letters might be personal, important, private, or any combination of the three.

Since then, perhaps surprisingly, Discord has kept his word. He has not interfered with a single letter written to Princess Celestia, nor edited a single part of any of the Friendship Reports sent to her. After all, he promised not to.

He made no promises whatsoever about not simply writing his own Friendship Reports, though. After all, he’s practically one of the Ponyville Crew now, is he not? And he’s learning about Friendship as well, yes? Then he’s clearly entitled to pen a letter or two. After all, if the Apple Horse is capable of writing them, how hard can it be?

Celestia has incoming mail. And Discord has no intention of being left on read.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #58

Ever since the first fateful day that one species of this magical world met another, somewhere in the background there has been a Pony asking the eternal, ever-echoing question: ”Which one would win in a fight?” And eventually, inevitably, they decided to answer it. And then, eventually, inevitably, somepony monetised it.

The latest fad to hit Equestria is Interspecies Martial Arts. Pit your most determined Earth Pony against your most stubbornly immovable Donkey, watch an aerial battle between your most nimble Pegasus and your most precise Griffon, stand in awe as your mightiest Minotaur clashes with your smashingest Yak. All, of course, with reasonable rules and restrictions to keep things as fair as possible, and all with tickets available for a reasonable price, or expertly-laid betting odds on the outcome.

Obviously, the Bearers being famous heroes and diplomats, keepers of the peace, and bastions of the power of friendship, they would never approve of such things. Never, not ever. Ahem.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #59

The Weather Bureau do a sterling job of controlling Equestrian storm systems and preventing disaster… most of the time. But sometimes, even they get overwhelmed by systems that spring up outside the borders and then come flying in. In this last week, heavy storm systems came in from the coast, and although the Pegasus Teams were able to prevent much serious private property damage and any loss of life, the storm caused severe damage to one point in particular.

The biggest Salt production centre in Equestria has been temporarily disabled, and its warehouses and stockpiles have been ruined. Hopefully within a month they’ll be back to working order, especially with Crown assistance, but… well, these things take time, and in the meanwhile there’s going to be a severe shortage of salt across the nation.

Luckily, Ponies are level-headed and sensible creatures who won’t go into hysterics, panic-buying, or withdrawals at having a base commodity suddenly become scarce. Right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #60

A lone human soldier, struck down on the battlefield, closes his eyes for the last time... only to awaken in a land of magical Ponies, bright and cheerful song, and the wonder of friendship. When a terrible threat arises against these ponies, this human soldier knows it's his duty to take up his gun and defen-

-and that's as far as he gets before a Pony stops him, irritated. Ponies have fireworks. Ponies have rockets. Pinkie Pie has a literal cannon that she uses for things as casual as setting up a party. Ponies figured out gunpowder ages ago, and do you know what conclusion they came to? They have access to concentrated blasts of pure magic. Guns suck.

The lone human soldier has been instructed, in no uncertain terms, to sit in the corner until these helpless little Ponies have casually saved the day, just like they always do, a thousand times more efficiently than the lone human soldier ever could have. And then they'll work on sending him home.

Idiot.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #61

It’s fair to say that of the Crusaders, Scootaloo is the least concerned with looks. Apple Bloom has her bow and mane, Sweetie Belle is Sweetie Belle, but Scootaloo… well, she spends more time covered in grime than not, and she’s never visibly been concerned with being seen as cute.

Which is why it’s come as such a shock when she’s announced her latest intention: she wants to get her ears pierced.

Why? How? Is it a scheme to get a Mark? To attract a Colt? Has she decided to start idolising Zecora instead of Rainbow Dash? Is there any way it could involve tree sap?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #62

In her thousand years of absence, Luna has missed out on several technological developments that continue to astound her. Slowly she’s starting to get a grip on them, aided by the cultural development of mail-order purchasing: she doesn’t have to go out in public and be stared at, or send others on errands for her. She can browse catalogues and order as she pleases.

Her newest delivery, however, has introduced her to a technological development that will change her life forever, and fill her quiet hours with a level of joy she’s never known.

No, not the blender. What it came in.

The bubble wrap.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #63

Applejack and Rainbow Dash have a friendly rivalry that's infamous. Of course, either of them would do anything for the other. They also bicker constantly, prank one another, and enjoy every time they contest one another. Part of that is a strong sense of sportsmanship: They might try everything to beat the other, but they'll never refuse to admit it when they know they've been beaten.

Their latest little contest ended with Applejack winning a bet, and she's come up with what she thinks is a particularly clever punishment for the loser. Rainbow Dash must follow her around for the next twenty-four hours during a visit to Canterlot, and tell everypony how great Applejack is. It's the perfect blow to the pegasus' ego, and should be endlessly entertaining. It's only when Applejack is woken up by the sound compliments being shouted through her window that she realises what she's done.

Rainbow Dash is going to follow her around.
All day.
In Canterlot.
Shouting whatever compliments she can think of at the top of her lungs.
And there is absolutely nothing Applejack can do to stop her.

Fear the wrath of Rainbow Dash, Equestria's most terrifying cheerleader.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #64

The most obvious and fascinating thing about Crystal Ponies, to those who have just met them, is their translucent nature. It’s endlessly fascinating and beautiful the way you can see through them. Of course, thankfully you can’t actually see inside them; it’s not like you can pick out individual organs and such. It’s just a pony body you can squint through… with a singular exception.

An expectant mother is an astonishing sight in the Empire, with the tiny foal growing inside her. The visibility isn’t perfect, of course, but as time passes you can even pick out key stages in the baby’s development. Pregnant Crystal Mares do tend to wear maternity dress as a form of privacy and courtesy, of course, but at certain phases, dramatic reveals can be made.

It’s time for a Gender Reveal Party, Crystal Empire style. And they mean it surprisingly literally.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #65

In her thousands of years of life, Celestia has tried her hoof at many different pastimes. She has been a warrior, a teacher, a musician. She has raised ponies as something close to her own children, she has tamed animals, she has experimented with magic and dabbled in diplomacy and been a voracious reader throughout. After all, she’s had a lot of time to fill in, why not try different things?

Recently, however, Luna was at a museum auction where items from their archives were offered on sale to collectors. And there was one piece, the provenance unknown, that caught her eye. A painting, in fact. One that was mostly of interest because it was listed in the records of being incredibly precious and of great value, even though it’s possibly the single worst painting ever made and nopony knows the artist. Nopony except Luna, of course, who recognises her sister’s signature in the corner.

The bad news is that Celestia’s one failed attempt to be an artist has returned to haunt her. The good news is that the Solar Throne Room has a new art installation and Luna can’t wait to see her sister’s reaction.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #66

Being an elected official in any town is never quite as easy as ponies think. There will always be those who believe politicians are paid to do nothing all day, but in a small town it means that Mayor Mare has to deal personally with every single problem her settlement faces. She spends less time asleep in a day-night cycle than Rainbow Dash spends awake.

Still, for all the problems the position holds, it does at least guarantee her holiday hours. And after a few years, Mayor Mare has finally decided to spend a few of those accrued hours and have a fortnight away with her husband. Sun, sand, relaxation, a distinct lack of anything related to the Elements of Harmony.

There’s just one problem: while she’s away she has to assign a Deputy Mayor to hold her position for her. Somepony who can be trusted with the authority, and reliable enough to do the work.

And it’s not that Mayor Mare has a grudge or anything, but she knows exactly who she’s going to give the job to…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #67

Mr. and Mrs. Cake are a couple with a healthy, loving relationship. They run their business, household and family together, and there's never any doubt that the two are as happy as any couple could be, least of all in their own minds.

The problem is... well... finding opportunities to express that. If you follow.

Baker's hours. Pinkie Pie. Having twin foals. The chaotic life of Ponyville. Pinkie Pie again. Cup and Carrot wouldn't change a single thing about their lives, but whenever they try to get an hour - heck, ten minutes - for some private quality time, it seems there's another five hundred interruptions banging at the door, window, and occasionally a trapdoor that they didn't even know Pinkie Pie had installed into the ceiling.

What's a married couple to do?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #68

Religion in Equestria is complicated. For the longest time, there have been ponies who regard Alicorns with a reverence reserved for deities, who pray to the Princesses and seek their blessings; and even among the ponies who don’t, it’s hard to have faith in any other gods when, quite frankly, one lives down the street and can be seen drinking chocolate milk directly out of a cloud. And so, for the most part, ponies treat religion as a subject largely left to one’s own personal business.

Other nations, however, don’t quite share the same perspective. The pony point of view is far from universal, and even the most rational species will occasionally produce a less rational example. And occasionally, that example will decide it is their duty to visit the heathens in foreign lands and convert them to the one true path to enlightenment and faith, possibly because nobody in their own homeland was stupid enough to listen and now they’re trying to peddle their faith to ponies instead.

Ponyville is about to receive a visit from their first-ever interspecies Missionary, who is prepared to knock on every door in town to see if these ponies have heard the Good Word.

They may not be prepared for the Less-Than-Good Words they’ll get in response.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #69

When the Bearers travel abroad, they’ve learned to take some basic supplies with them. Fluttershy tends to carry some herbs that have simple medicinal properties, for example, while Pinkie Pie might carry some seasonings for when they need to forage for a meal in the wilderness. It’s served them well many times in the past.

On this adventure, however, they’ve passed through a Griffon settlement, and… they’ve uncovered a problem. Or rather, one has been uncovered on them. The nice, friendly, helpful Griffon Police Officer would like an explanation for the several pouches of dried herbs that these ponies have brought into her town and been flashing around at the locals.

Who knew that a half-cat species would get so fussy about a little bag of mint?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #70

Ponies are a species that are generally comfortable with routine. There are adventurous souls, of course, but they’re the exception rather than the rule, and for most ponies to want to leave their homes and travel, they need a good enough reason.

The business owners of Ponyville have decided that they want to give ponies a reason. They’re a lovely town, close to the capital, on the borders of the Everfree, and home to the greatest heroes of the age. Surely there’s enough there to draw in visitors, new residents, tourists and customers!

Reluctantly, the Bearers have agreed to help out by posing for a series of Ponyville Postcards, soon to go on sale across Equestria and beyond. All they need to do is get a few shots in appropriate poses, with idyllic scenes in the background, and not have anything burst into flames while they do so.

Easy, right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #71

In her many centuries of life, Celestia has had occasion to secret away a few artifacts of great power, a few secrets of great importance, a few relics of great evil, and a few diaries of great embarrassment. Some have ended up in the Canterlot Vaults, of course, but others? There's some things where the best way to make sure they're never found is to bury them in an unmarked hole in the middle of nowhere.

Of course, she's not completely ignorant of the risks, and so many of these secret caches, the locations of which are known only to herself (and Luna, depending on the era they were buried in), have alarm spells on them that notify her if the seals and wards are disturbed.

Celestia has just been woken up in the middle of the night by one of these spells being triggered. Somepony has uncovered and entered one of her caches, clearly in search of something that the Princess wants left buried.

The only problem is that Celestia has long since forgotten what was buried there. And so now it's time for a rather awkward conversation with a very bewildered would-be thief...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #72

Ponies are far from the only intelligent species in the world. But that's not to say that all other species are... equally intelligent. Plenty of animals are just animals. But then there are those who dwell on farms, and are cared for by the landowners, but just aren't quite as independent as the Ponies around them.

Many of them, it should be noted, with a few resources to offer in trade. But not necessarily with the ability to harvest them all by themselves, so there are are Ponies who have to, well, help out with the work of getting those resources.

Today, her family have decided that Apple Bloom is old enough to get a crash course in some of this. There are cows that need milking and sheep that need shearing. And somepony's got to do the job.

Gentle with those shears...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #73

The common image of a Pony is fairly idyllic. We imagine them as hardworking farmers, craftsponies, bakers, builders, artists, scholars, living happy and peaceful lives. But even in Equestria there is a criminal element, and it’s not just wacky con artists or doom-declaring supervillains. There are your average, everyday thugs and thieves as well.

On the surface of it, this isn’t a terrible idea. There are long stretches of road between settlements, and most non-Pegasus ponies tend to travel via these instead of the trains most of the time. Even the Pegasi generally fly above the roads, for that matter. Travellers will have full saddlebags and bit purses, more than a few will be towing carts and wagons, witnesses will be few and far between, and authorities a distant joke. Theoretically, a small team of highway bandits could make good profit by choosing their targets well and melting back into the forest after striking.

In practise… well, the problem is that even if a bandit robs nobody but random passers-by for a year straight without incident, eventually they’re going to end up threatening somepony who is well outside their weight class. Somepony, or someponies, who could squash them all so hilariously effortlessly that they’ll almost feel bad doing it.

Today, the unluckiest robbers in Equestria are going to make a very, very terrible mistake.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #74

There are some ponies who excel at efficiency. They're brilliant at making sure things run as smoothly as possible, keeping to a reliable schedule. This is the Twilight Sparkle school of thinking.
There are some ponies who think of efficiency in a different way: They relax as much as possible for as long as possible, then do what needs to be done in the shortest amount of time possible, thus maximising their time off. This is the Rainbow Dash school of thinking.
There are some ponies who think efficiency is, itself, inefficient. They do a dozen things at once, wait for them to collide, and expect the resultant storm to somehow turn into the desired result via chaos theory. This is the Pinkie Pie school of thinking.

These three approaches to organisation should not all work equally well. They absolutely, definitely, should not work equally well at the same time and on the same project. Yet somehow, these three mares have managed it, and that's with three other mares and a baby dragon adding their own flavours of complication. Somehow, against all reason and logic, they reliably get results every single time.

A changeling infiltrator to Ponyville has been given a job by their Queen: study the Elements of Harmony, learn the tactics that make them so efficient and successful, and report back to the Hive on how to either disrupt that efficiency or replicate it to the Hive's advantage. The question is, how does one describe the efficiency of a constant, ongoing explosion that somehow fixes things in its wake?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #75

Queen Chrysalis has learned that her enemies need to be watched closely. There's too much at stake with her next Extremely Brilliant Cunning Plan to not keep an eye on the competition. And so she's established a small Hive Outpost just outside of Ponyville, with a simple mission: Watch the town, watch the Elements of Harmony, and ensure nothing happens without the Hive's knowledge.

Obviously, since this is such a risky mission so far from the Hive, it's considered the ultimate punishment to be assigned to this particular Hive Outpost. That's how Chrysalis intended it. And obviously it has worked, because the Changelings assigned there never, ever speak of the things they've endured. They don't discuss with other Changelings what Ponyville is like. And when they get reassigned to other duties, they always seem... strangely disappointed and sad.

This is clearly because the Ponyville Hive Outpost is such an unpleasant place to be that it has broken their spirits, exactly as Chrysalis intended.

...right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #76

Ponies, for the most part, don't wear clothes very often. Which means that among other things, they are spared the chore of washing them. But they do still use towels, washcloths, bed linen, all manner of other things, and these do have to be cleaned just as regularly as you'd expect. For a non-Pegasus it's a laborious and tedious task, involving far too much time with their hooves in soapy water and the taste of laundry detergent on their lips.

The Cakes in particular have a lot of cleaning to do. Raising twin babies, maintaining a household, and running a food-service business that doubles as a small restaurant for patrons who eat their purchases indoors? There's a lot of laundry to be done. It's just one of the facts of life. But it's a chore that nopony in Sugarcube Corner enjoys, and it's an endless, ever-growing task that all they can hope to do is keep vaguely in check.

Pinkie Pie, however, disagrees. She's had a brilliant idea, and she's going to put it into play to help with one of the more annoying chores in the household.

Today, Pinkie Pie is going to attempt to invent Equestria's first Washing Machine.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #77

Anyone who has ever worked with livestock knows one thing is universally true: they have an unerring knack for finding any doors, gateways, exits or entries in their enclosure, and getting through them. No matter how tame or docile or friendly the animal, left unattended they will become an escape artist.

Incidentally, words like Door, Gate, Exit and Entry are all synonyms of another word: Portal.

It’s time for the Canterlot High Carnival, and this year they’re offering an old classic. Pony Rides! The enclosure to which just so happens to be set up right next to… well, you can guess.

One FWOOSH though the portal later, Equestria’s first nonsapient pony is merrily trotting about the palace. A fun time shall be had by all…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #78

Nearly every profession in the world has its conventions, annual events, meetings and workshops. Farming is no different! There's Field Days and County Fairs all across Equestria and beyond, where the best produce is put on offer and the various farming families meet to discuss methodology.

This year, however, Applejack has been invited to one outside of Equestria's borders. The Minotaurs have their own methods of growing crops and raising stock, methods that don't make use of Weather Control or Earth Pony Magic. Instead they have to do it the mundane way: Backbreaking labour combined with agricultural know-how. It turns out that when you can't make a farm work by literal magic, a Minotaur farmer has to be somewhere between an Engineer and a Scientist just to make sure crop yields are high and the farm keeps functioning.

Applejack is about to have a rather rude lesson on exactly how much about her profession she doesn't know.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #79

There is one problem with having your best friend run the town library: they learn your reading habits. All of your reading habits. It's one thing to have them know of your interest in Prench Architecture or your love of Detective Noir. It's quite another for them to observe that this is the seventh time you've checked out the same book on Oiled Stallion Wrestling and frankly they're getting suspicious.

A letter marked Library Business has just been incorrectly delivered to Twilight Sparkle. It wasn't the Mailmare's fault, the letter was incorrectly addressed. But it's only upon opening it that Twilight has learned that one of her friends is being... unfaithful. Borrowing books from another library long-distance.

And now, she'd like to know why.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #80

Upon returning from their latest mission, the Girls have discovered to their dismay that they’ve caught… something. So far it seems to just be a cold, nothing too dangerous or exotic, but it’s a nasty one. Bad enough that they’ve agreed to quarantine for the duration, and Rarity has agreed to let the six of them use The Boutique as a private space.

Of course, somepony still needs to care for six ill mares. And it doesn’t take long for it to be pointed out that ideally, it’ll be somepony who can’t possibly catch this illness off them. And it doesn’t take long to go from there to realising it doesn’t have to be a pony at all.

The girls may survive their bout with the flu. The question is whether Spike will.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #81

Every now and then, the Bearers are sent to other nations on Diplomatic Missions. Countries of non-ponies that want to meet the saviours of the world, representatives of Equestria, that sort of thing. There's an argument to be made that it's because none of them believe the stories of previous disasters, or possibly it's just because Princess Celestia has zero pattern recognition skills on the matter, but either way, it keeps happening.

Most recently, six mares and one dragon have been sent to the Yak Highlands to meet their leadership and make overtures of integrating curious Yaks into Pony Society, and vice versa. And of course, this means throwing a feast! The finest of Yak cuisine, song, and drink!

...especially drink.

See, Yak physiology is rather different to that of a Pony. And a drink required to make a Yak feel its effects... well. A Pony's idea of a strong drink is Applejack's finest apple brandy. That's the Yak equivalent of light beer.

And on a Diplomatic Mission, when you're offered a drink by the ruler of a nation, you can't exactly say no...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #82

The Element Bearers are in the employ of the Crown, working for the benefit of Equestria. Everypony knows this. But it also means there's a certain amount of red tape and Health & Safety Standards that needs to be dealt with on an annual basis. Including, as it turns out, physicals.

Today the girls are in Canterlot for their annual examination and checkup by the Palace Physicians. Pulled away from their busy lives and activities, so that a stranger can poke them in personal places, ask them personal questions, and then tell them all the reasons that their lifestyles are unhealthy, unsustainable, and inappropriate.

Celestia and Luna may or may not be watching with popcorn.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #83

Sparrows are interesting birds. They’re tiny and harmless at first glance. But they’re loud, they’re quick, they’re fearless, and they’re territorial.

That last one is a word nature takes seriously. A single little sparrow, having decided that an intruder has entered its space, will relentlessly and tirelessly attack, harass and harangue a bird of prey thirty times its size for the crime of Being There. Sparrows do not care.

One sparrow in particular has just found itself a new nemesis. A really big bird. A really big cyan-and-rainbow bird that’s really annoying. And it has a big white nest and it’s there and the sparrow has declared war.

Rainbow Dash should fear for her life.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #84

The Elements of Harmony, used together, are the most powerful force in Equestria. They can warp reality, defy the rules of nature, contain the might of a malevolent God. But the thing is, they only work together.

Today, the six Bearers are called upon to use their combined might to save the world. Again. But, unfortunately, one has a prior engagement and has called in a Sick Day.

Not to worry, though. Celestia and Luna have wielded the Elements before. And they're confident that they can sub in for a day, wielding the missing Element, and help save Equestria without an issue.

It's only been a thousand years, after all. How hard could it be?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #85

Not everypony in Equestria is good at making friends. Some are too studious, too shy, too boastful, too awkward, too forward… there’s as many reasons as you might expect. In particular, there’s one young filly in Canterlot who doesn’t even have her mark yet. It’s her birthday on the weekend, and she doesn’t have anypony who she wants to invite to her party.

Well... that’s not quite true, actually. There is one other pony. One who she feels like she identifies with, in the logic that only children have mastered, and she thinks that maybe they could be friends. If this other pony wants. And how better to start than inviting them to a party?

Dear Princess Luna. It’s my birthday soon...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #86

It’s Winter. Which means that most of Fluttershy’s animal friends are sleeping or lethargic. Her herb garden isn’t growing. Rainbow Dash is tending to the light snowfall, Rarity is working on her winter line, Pinkie is preparing baked goods for a cold town, Twilight Sparkle and Spike are deep in an experiment, and Applejack is out of town.

For the first time she can remember, Fluttershy is bored. She wants something to do.

It’s not like any of her friends have been a bad influence on the subject… right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #87

Those close to Applejack know that she spent time as a Manehattan Socialite as a filly. She can still mimic the accent, and even though she’s happy in Ponyville, she has a few fond memories of her time spent there with family.

What very few ponies consider is that Big Macintosh has the same family.

For an upcoming event in Canterlot, Rarity has been called upon to make a presentation, and she’s been asked to bring a Plus One. And since she knows Blueblood will be there, she’s decided to ask her friend’s brother for a favour.

It shall indubitably be the most Eeyuppingest night ever.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #88

Celestia has been the immortal God-Ruler of Ponykind for a thousand years. She’s the wise, kind, charismatic leader who’s always there for her little ponies. But even she needs the occasional Do-Not Day, for sickness or mental health or simply to relax. And when she’s not available, somepony needs to take over the throne for a day.

Of course, this isn’t just a job that can be foisted off onto anypony. There are doubtlessly dozens of others clamouring for the job, which is generally a sign that not one of them can be trusted with it. Giving the job to any kind of committee or council is a great way to ensure that absolutely nothing gets done in Celestia’s absence — last time that happened they spent Celestia’s entire three-day sabbatical arguing over whether or not they were, in fact, a committee or a council.

No, it’s Celestia’s opinion that the safest pony to be given any degree of responsibility is a pony who vehemently does not want it. Which is why she does, in fact, keep a spare throne-warmer around for just this type of situation.

Today, Celestia is having some time off. Which means that for once, Prince Blueblood actually has to go to work.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #89

Innovation can be a new concept to Equestria. Most ponies are content with doing things the way that they've always been done. But occasionally a new idea comes out, and it can take a while to fully catch on. There will always be bumps and hiccups as ponies try to wrap their heads around a new way of doing things.

In Canterlot, a restaurant has come up with a great new way to run their business: Trot-Through Service! No need to worry about having a sit-down diner to clean and maintain. Just an ordering booth, a paying both, and a food-collection booth, and a short track connecting all three. It's fast, it's efficient, and it's impossible for anypony to get it wrong.

Let's see how ponies manage to get it wrong.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #90

The thing about Ponies is that they’re herbivores. Of course, most sapient species in the world are, that’s no surprise. But when you’re herbivores, and Earth Ponies can grow anything they want in any season… well, one thing Ponies have never had to worry about is food going bad. There’s always fresh produce available. And that means they’ve never really looked into Food Preservation Technology, because they’ve simply never needed it.

Other species, who aren’t so lucky, have faced this problem. They’ve overcome it. To them it’s just normalcy. And so when Pinkie Pie ordered several packages of treats and sweets from outside the borders of Equestria, they didn’t see anything wrong with packaging the food for long-distance travel and long-time preservation, just as they always do.

Pinkie Pie was not expecting this.

And now Twilight Sparkle is nosing through dictionaries, trying to work out what a can opener is…

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #91

Rainbow Dash has, in so many ways, achieved her wildest dreams. She's an advisor to the crown! A hero of the nation! The creator of the Sonic Rainboom! A freakin' Wonderbolt! Everywhere she goes, she knows that ponies will know her name and face, and she'll be welcomed and accepted.

Which is why it comes as such a shock to arrive at a new town and discover that she is, in fact, not welcomed for the great things she's done. She is, in fact, unwelcome for the things she hasn't done. She's never even been to this town, yet somehow she's being recognised as a fraud and charlatan there.

Somepony has been impersonating Rainbow Dash and sullying her good name. And she intends to put a stop to it.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #92

Twilight Sparkle considers herself a scholar, archivist, librarian, academic, all kinds of things. But given some of the adventures she's been on, and her love of Daring Do, she's occasionally dabbled in archaeology as something of a habit. Reading about ancient cultures, exploring untouched ruins, and uncovering artifacts? That's just a good time. So when she's given a lead on a discovery in the Everfree, right by her front door, how can she resist?

Oh, of course there's danger for most ponies. Monsters and spirits and carnivorous plants and whatever den of bunnies spawned Angel. But then, most ponies couldn't levitate an Ursa Major and then project it straight through a nearby mountain range. Twilight Sparkle is confident, not without reason, that nothing in the forest can pose a serious threat to her.

It's only a few hours into her nice little trot through the woods that she realises one rather significant problem: The only directions she has are based off a map drawn a thousand years ago, and the forest isn't exactly the same any more. And Twilight does not like it when the given instructions aren't accurate to real life.

Ponies might say the most dangerous predator in the Everfree are the Hydras or the Manticores. The Everfree is about to learn those are nothing compared to Equestria's most obsessive-compulsive organiser who has decided the forest needs to be tidied up.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #93

During Luna's absence, Celestia was operating both Sun and Moon for a thousand years. Which meant, notably, she had to be awake before dawn and before sunset every day. On top of her usual hours as ruler of a nation, diplomat, public figure... all of which means that frankly, she got tired. There's only so much sleep that even an Immortal God-Queen of Pure Magic can be expected to do without, after all.

As the years passed, Ponies developed ways to tell the time more and more accurately. But several hundred years ago, when time-telling was mostly done by the passage of the sun across the sky? Well, if you want a quick nap, and you control said passage, it's sometimes possible to sneak in a quick snooze here and there and hope that nopony notices. And when that gets into a habit, it's hard to break once clocks are invented, and then when it becomes tradition because it got noticed...

Luna has been reviewing the schedule of sun and moon for the upcoming seasons. And she has a question for her sister about this so-called "Daylight Savings Time"...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #94

Everypony remembers the National Dessert Competition fiasco years ago, and the disastrous train ride that saw Detective Pinkie Pie earn her stripes. But very few consider that Mr. and Mrs. Cake were there, competing on a national level, for the best possible baked goods - and by all accounts had a very high chance at victory. But even if ponies have forgotten, the Griffons have not.

Gustave le Grand has contacted Carrot Cake, offering to sponsor his friend in the Griffon's most elite cooking competition: The Wrought-Iron Chef Cooking Arena. They're looking for new contestants, and Carrot may have just what they want in a cookoff champion.

Hey, it's a free trip to a new country and a nice paycheck no matter what happens. And it's not like the Griffons could have any weird ideas about how to host a cooking championship in a battle-themed arena.

Right?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #95

Rarity does fairly well out of the Carousel Boutique, considering that most ponies wear clothing maybe once a year. She has a knack for drawing in business with an eye for fashion, with her own passion for the art, and with her willingness to do just about anything for a customer. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't like to be a little bit busier, sometimes.

Fortunately, there's a way to get around this: Sponsorship deals. She could try to use her connections to the palace, but that sets a poor precedent and monetises her relationship with the various princesses. No, instead she's set her sights on something much more attainable: A well-known group with a dedicated and ever-growing fanbase, known for their unique clothing style among other things, who make plenty of public appearances. The Wonderbolts. If she can get a hoof in the door there, she'll double her income overnight at least. And she even has a connection!

But this does mean she's got an ordeal in front of her. One that makes facing down the Nightmare, or the Queen of the Changelings, or an angry dragon, look like a trot through a sunny meadow.

Rarity is going to have to ask Rainbow Dash for a favour.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #96

Ticket Stub, manager of the Ponyville Theater, runs a business that can't really fail. Everypony loves the movies. He's even had Princesses visit for screenings! But he's also always looking for new ways to draw in business, and he's just had a genius idea.

The Hoofball League always draws a crowd, but there's a finite capacity in every stadium, and even that's when just the crowds can actually travel there. But what if they didn't have to? Send a film crew, record the match, and then play the footage in cinema comfort! Mares and Stallions will line up to see their favourite teams compete on the silver screen!

There are a few logistical kinks to work out, of course. Snacks and treats that appeal to the Hoofball audience. Carefully appearing neutral to not enrage fans. Dealing with the occasional spat between opposing supporters. But those are just minor issues that Ticket Stub is confident he can deal with. It's not like he lives in a town famous for turning small issues into disasters, or anything...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #97

In the thousand years since she was banished to the moon, Princess Luna has missed a lot. But some of those things have been significant, up to and including the meeting of entirely new species. And the thing is… when modern day Ponies were explaining to Luna how the new world worked, they didn’t think to tell her about something as basic as an entirely new kind of person that she might encounter.

Which is why this evening is going to be a particularly interesting night for diplomacy, especially around a Princess who suffers slightly from Cuteness Proximity Syndrome.

Tonight, Luna meets an Alpaca.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #98

Running a motel can be a difficult job. There are always new problems arising and old problems reappearing. Cleaning and repairs to be done, new stock to order in, reservations to balance, last-minute booking changes and errors to correct… it could drive anypony mad.

The owner of this particular Trottingham motel, however, has an especially tough time ahead of him. Six mares have just arrived seeking rooms. They have no reservations despite it being late in the evening. One has more luggage than the other five put together. One has what appears to be an artillery piece. One has a… talkative pet lizard, or something. They want to share rooms despite the clearly stated two-per-room regulation. They want meals despite it being at least ten minutes past the ending of room service. And they keep babbling about Palace Authority and something about bears?

No matter. Six madmares are about to meet their match in one irritated, no-nonsense concierge.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #99

Rarity knows better than to put her faith in celebrity gossip magazines. They're trite, boring, wildly exaggerated at best, and completely fictional at worst. But, well, having a few magazines at the Boutique is a good idea, for customers and their partners to read during a long fitting. And on a quiet day, Rarity might read them herself, just to pass the hours. Nothing more than that.

One look at the cover of her latest subscription, however, has sent her scrambling to call her friends to the Boutique for an emergency meeting. Or at least, four of them: Twilight Sparkle isn't called in, yet. Because of what Rarity's seen.

A paparazzi snapshot. Of Twilight Sparkle.
Having lunch in Canterlot.
With a stallion.

This is a PonyCon-1 Emergency.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #100

Shining Armor is the big collectible-collector of his family. His love of models and miniatures is the source of many jokes. But his little brother Spike has a fondness for comics and figurines as well, and there’s more than a few of those positioned about the living areas of his home.

Last night, for her spell research, he was assisting Twilight Sparkle with a standard ”Come To Life” enchantment that didn’t work. The targeted object didn’t so much as wobble.

But now, this morning... it’s the weirdest thing, but he could almost swear there’s mice in the building or something...

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #101
Equestria’s greatest heroes bear the Elements of Harmony, a set of might and ancient magical artifacts that wield the power of order and friendship itself. Together, they’ve saved the world so many times that it became necessary for Twilight Sparkle to look up the plural of Apocalypse. So when another threat arises outside of Equestria’s borders, they’re quick to volunteer for the duty of stopping it.

They didn’t expect to be told that no, thanks, it’s already being handled.

What, you didn’t think the Elements of Harmony were the only ancient artifacts of power laying around, did you? Nearly every nation has its own variation, and today, the Mane Six meet their Griffon Equivalents after an averted doomsday they didn’t even know was going on.

Meet the Elements... of Harm.

And that rounds it out, folks. Hope you found something that tickled your writer-sense. Now have at it!

Comments

[Lurks-no-More]

A blatant case of false advertising!

Most of these weren't idiotic at all, and quite a few were actually really good!

(More seriously: that's a pretty dang fun list of ideas! Thank you for coming up with them, and sharing them with people. )

[Mockingbirb]

I have multiple comments, really.

1. Seeing all of these ideas collected together, it becomes obvious some of them are really quite good! It's just a question of which ideas are good to which writers.

2. Where in this list is the idea of yours I 'turned somewhat inside out and back again' to write

TServing Princess Celestia (What the Hay Does 'Droit Du Seigneur' Mean?)

• MLP: FiM
• Equestria Girls
• Comedy

Pinkie Pie and Applejack experience an ancient, scandalous royal tradition.

• Sex
• Pinkie
• Applejack
• Celestia
• Other
• Main 6

Mockingbirb · 2.3k words  ·  13  3 · 518 views

3. You say writers who use these don't have to credit you. But isn't giving credit where credit is due part of the fun of writing fanfic? Maybe I'm just weird in thinking that.

[Uz Naimat]

This is a really fun list. Did you write all of these? And if you did, can I read them?

And also, those descriptions remind me of Estee’s. Which is a compliment, by the way.

[Mind Jack]

Can only one person snap up each of these?

I dunno if I could make a whole story about Dust Pan from #7, but I can certainly work him/her into a story.

[Moproblems Moharmoney]

Some legitimately amazing ideas here. Definitely gonna nab a few.

[Bookeater_otaku]

Wow, I wish Estee would write every single one of them.

These prompt were excellent and very original. They would fit Estee style to a T.

[Herald of Opera]

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #4

In relation to this sort of thing, I've pointed out that the massive and seemingly unprecedented change to their biology means that post-Season 6 changelings won't have a life expectancy until they start dying... and given the sort of person Chrysalis was, it's likely there weren't enough deaths by natural causes to establish a baseline anyway.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #14

Her family was granted the land by the crown, which legally makes her Lady Ponyville. Any statements of the Acres needing money are just Applejack being a silly pony.

The Mare-Do-Well Incident

Was erased from continuity during the events of It's About Time. Starlight Glimmer is the only one aware of it, which is why she sat out the half-assed reprise that was 28 Pranks Later.

This isn't a problem with the idea, because it's the sort of thing she'd come up with and we need somepony to facehoof at the shenanigans.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #45

Rarity's attempts are futile because changelings can also presumably sense love, although we have thermal blackout curtains in real life so she can presumably still use them for whatever reason humans do.

Angel Bunny… is Angel Bunny.

My own headcanon is that he's the Prince With a Thousand Enemies, because why would Equestria only be home to creatures of human myth?

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #55

Cozy Glow. Just saying.

After all, if the Apple Horse is capable of writing them, how hard can it be?

I'm not convinced Discord could do worse than the Flimflam Brothers' debut episode in terms of nonsensical friendship reports, and quite frankly finding out about that is probably the start of this story.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #60

Shift the tense of this and it can go into Estee's "world's shortest crossovers" collection. There isn't 1000 words of story to this one.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #75

Kevin is a friend of Matilda's, which is not the side of that marriage you'd expect a random changeling to show up in but it's official and therefore as canon as Mare-Do-Well (see above).

Incidentally, words like Door, Gate, Exit and Entry are all synonyms of another word: Portal.

While it's normally only used for the magical kind, it can indeed be used for any of those.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #85

The late Queen Elizabeth II once received a random wedding invitation as a joke. She showed up, so Luna will absolutely be attending this foal's birthday party.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #87

The Lord Ponyville had already shredded his invite, as he always did. That Rarity convinced him to show up means Blueblood isn't even mad.

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #90

This ends with her venting to Sunset and promptly told to open the portal. Sunset probably also manages to open the pickle jar that Rainbow Dash had failed to open with a Sonic Rainboom earlier in the story.

[Tipper]

5697694
Well, the Idiotic part refers more to the source of the ideas than the ideas themselves, but thank you.

5697703
Technically that idea came before I started the One-A-Day thing! And while you are right about the credit thing, I also don't expect that most authors here sent a note to Hasbro letting them know they're writing a fic with their stuff, either. I'd just like to know is all!

5697706
While I came up with every one of these ideas, I did not write any of them as stories! Most were come up with on the spot to spawn new discussions and fun chats on Estee's Discord server. But I have hopes that someone will adopt these little concepts out and give them life.

5697713
If a dozen people all pick the same idea, I won't mind. Anyone can try them out for a spin! I'd just like to see if anyone does. And by all means, if you think Dust Pan suits something you're working on, please feel free.

5697723
I am excited to hear it! Let me know when they pop up!

5697727
Heh. I came up with them on Estee's Discord server, so maybe I was channelling their style a little bit without consciously trying?

5697735
Heh. Are you already on Estee's Discord? If not you should definitely join, I daresay you'd have enjoyed the discussions every one of these ideas spawned!

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

#2 idea
In the episode "Point of No Return" it is specifically said that the max late fee is 1 moon (28 days).

If you're doing this, it needs to be marked AU.

#15
Estee already did this one

[Tipper]

5697744
The Pizza one? That's a surprise, they didn't mention that on the server. You've got me curious now, where'd that happen?

[Malandy]

5697750

I assume they're talking about: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/423472/for-nightmare-night-we-are-going-as-ourselves

But no Pizza there.

[Pseudosapien]

From #77

No matter how tame or docile or friendly the animal, left unattended they will become an escape artist.

Guinea pigs. I’ve kept them for many years and generations now. The pig pen walls are only 6” high, they’re poor climbers but they could effortlessly hop out any time they wanted. They just never do. Maybe if I’m introducing a new piggie and they don’t feel at home, maybe, but once they’re settled they have no sense of adventure. Ponies though: ya they’ll wriggle out if they can.

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

5697750
I was thinking of the story where the Mane 6 crashed a party disguised as themselves.

[Tech Support]

Today's Idiotic Plot Concept, Free To A Good Home #2

Assuming she took the books out the day she was banished, and got the bill the day after she was restored, at a bit a day, ignoring the cannon monthly cap, and 5% interest compounded annually
If my math is right.. 11.85253453 septillion bits

[Tipper]

5697766
I’ll take your word on that one! I know hamsters and gerbils can be little escape artists, but perhaps piggies are the docile cousins we always needed.

5697775
Phillip J. Fry approves of your maths.

[River Road]

Meet Rainbow Dash, secret chess savant.

Losing a match of chess against the underdog would be humiliating enough if they didn't fly loops with the pegasus figures and make pew-pew-pew noises whenever their unicorn takes a pawn.

This is an excellent collection of prompts and I'm barely a tenth through them. Gonna have to bookmark this one.

[zakueins]

derpicdn.net/img/2013/5/4/316133/full.png

[zakueins]

If I had to make a list of the ones that I'd like to see Estee work on (and could somehow contribute to the Patreon at the $666 level)...

2 (Complete with Twilight Sparkle channeling Pinkie Pie-"All books must be returned!!!)
6
7
9 (Must have chapter titles after famous chess games, and Twilight Sparkle getting painful eye-twitches from realizing that Rainbow Dash is outplaying her.)
12 ("There's a gallery opening tonight and...sister, why are you slamming your head against the wall?")
16 ("I am more than willing to Pinky Promise that I did not make the Platypus. Sober. Or drunk. Stoned...and not that kind!...maybe...")
20
21 (Only if you incorporate Luna having some version of "the future is inherently a good thing and we move into it one winter at a time" speech. Complete with "for example, last Hearth's Warming Eve, I didn't have this gun.")
26
27
32 (Bonus points if Celestia has to do this without the Solar Guard knowing, because 60% out of embarrassment and 40% there's a fail-safe that might...blow up the city. Maybe. Possibly.)
36 (Wait until she gets the bagpipes...)
42 (Herd species+Games Workshop shenanigans+the inevitable arguments about the difference between eight and ninth and tenth edition rules (and a few purist from the Crystal Empire that think that anything past seventh-when they were playing it-is heresy)=Discord goes "I'm stumped. I can't do anything more here.")
47
50 ("Well, at least the bills are getting paid on a regular basis. Mostly because nobody wants to upset Fluttershy, because nobody want to offend Harry...")
54 ("Class, we got a new pet! It's something called a Winslow...")
57
66 ("Applejack, you're Deputy Mayor for the week while I'm on vacation. If the town does burn down...please get it finished by Monday.")
71
73 ($2 that they decided to turn it into street theater of some kind.)
78 (Just...fertilizer. We can tell around here when planting season begins because the mixture of horse manure, supplements, and seeds has a...unique and long-distance odor.)
81 (Twilight Sparkle...actually has a pretty high resistance. The problem is that her resistance goes from "sober" to "kind of tipsy" to "dangerously creative" and there's no stops in between...there may be a flying yak (with their own wings) before the night is through.)
85 (I can see this as being kind of heartwarming, especially if the little foal realizes that Luna hasn't had a birthday in a while and makes sure she does have one.)
86 (Yuri comics of her friends. Hoof-drawn by Fluttershy. And Discord accidentally starts selling them...)
87 (I'm thinking something akin to Mr Nutt, complete with him cleaning up far too nicely for Rarity's libido...)
92 (Twilight Sparkle vs. the unholy abomination that is the very Heart of the Everfree Forest. Las Pegasus is giving 3-1 odds for Twilight Sparkle.)
100 ("This has to be the second tiniest conquest of Equestria ever?" "Second? What was the first?" "Unionized cockroaches.")

[Tech Support]

5697775
I keep coming back to this..
I think there's a story in a story here, about WHY there's a monthly cap on late fees, when the library realized they had an outstanding debt on record of >1M bits. Does the library retroactively apply their monthly cap policy, or do existing debters continue to accrue at the original rate? Do they stop increasing the principal, but still collect interest?

Maybe this case came before the courts multiple times, once the principal became enormous, once again when the due interest became outrageous... perhaps this case helped shaped the Equestia wide policy about debt forgiveness and criminal interest rates and practices.

[Tipper]

5697900
Alternatively: The late fee really is an absurdly small amount, Luna is just making a Big Deal out of it.

"I am a Princess, I was on the moon, this was not my fault!"
"Luna, it's twelve bits."
"HUSH, SISTER."

[Tech Support]

5697903
I'm royalty! We don't pay late fees!

[Captain_Hairball]

The hot new trend in Equestria is Prepping. With a good enough bunker, a clever enough store of equipment, and a large enough stack of supplies, you can be ready for anything! At least, that’s the theory, and one pony has decided that they absolutely are.

Then Discord found out.

I guess that explains Fallout: Equestria.

[Glam Slam]

The moment I saw this, I realised how-similar we are to each other, and I decided if I hadn't followed you already, I would. This is gold!

[Bad Dragon]

You showed me yours, so I'll show you mine.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/854045/free-story-ideas-for-you