”Are you sure you can do this?” Vigg wondered.
”I'm cool,” said Spike, his voice somewhat muffled.
”Because it's somewhat dangerous and I don't think you have done it before,” said Vigg.
”Hey, I'm not a baby! At least let me try!” said Spike angrily.
Vigg sighed. ”OK, it's your funeral!” he said and winced.
He shook his head at Spike's attempt, then he couldn't restrain himself any longer. He grabbed Spike's tail with his teeth and pulled him out of the snowdrift he had been stuck in.
”Hey, I was getting there!” said Spike. Vigg smiled sheepishly.
”I thought you were gonna suffocate, buck! Digging yourself out can be hazardous after a crash like yours!” He dusted off Spike, without reason, since he wasn't that snowy. Dragons are fairly warm, and the snow hadn't really stuck to his warm jacket. In fact, Spike had become warmer down there, and said so.
”Yeah, snow isolates. Snow can be your best friend in winter,” the reindeer prince explained.
”I got the sleigh!” shouted another young sarv, one of Vigg's friends, from the foot of the skiing hill. ”Icicles on my antlers, that dragon is one crazy driver!” Vigg chuckled.
”You certainly have made an impression on my buddies!” he said as he and Spike waited for the other reindeer to drag the sled up to them.
”I did? Yes I did!” said Spike, happy that he hadn't made a complete fool of himself.
It was rather refreshing to not only be with other guys, but other guys older and thus slightly cooler than him. It was even better because they seemed genuinely pleased to meet him. He was a little intimidated by the talk being mostly about winter sports and hiking, but it was eased by the fact that they liked explaining the value of broader skis or the right way to build a campfire. And he found himself explaining as much about dragons or about Equestria. Not all of them were as clear about the difference between Foalywood and reality as Vigg (”No, not all unicorns are noble mage-knights. That's just in techno-thrillers”) but they were reasonable about it.
Vigg's questions were a bit more personal – some were about Luna or Celestia or the Elements of Harmony, most about Twilight and living with her. His friends listened a bit uninterested to Spike's answers about that as well, but everyone became strangely impressed and gushing and jealous about living inside a living tree. It didn't sound very reindeer to Spike, but perhaps that was why.
After the other sarv had given Spike the reins to the sled, he pointed to the distant clock tower of Sarvvik City Hall.
”Me and the other guys are going home now. Not that it hasn't been fun, but some of us have work to do tomorrow,” he said.
Vigg groaned. ”You know how much I wish I had work to do tomorrow! But I don't even get to take a weekend job!” he said.
The other reindeer chuckled. ”See you later! Pleased to meet you, Spike! Brohoof?” he said and lifted one of his front hooves.
”Brohoof,” said Spike and met it with his paw.
He had noticed that the young bucks – with the notable exception of Vigg – tended to mix a little Equestrian with their Poatsi. It seemed 'brohoof' was a loanword, used even when they didn't speak their accented school Equestrian with Spike. It was kinda eerie.
As they waved farewell to the rest of the little herd, Vigg pointed to to the another hill, a little higher, lying next to the actual ski slope but on the way home.
”What do you say we get up to the top there – there's a fireplace up there – makes a coffee-fire, eat the rest of the sandwiches, and then we go home as well?” he said enthusiastically.
”Sounds neat. But we still have cocoa in the thermos, why the coffee-fire?” said Spike.
”Because it's not a real break without a coffee-fire, even if you don't make coffee!” he laughed.
”Can we sled down afterward?” asked Spike.
”I am counting on it!” said Vigg. ”That hill isn't used for skiing and so on, so it isn't packed or plowed or used in any way. It's much more fun to go down fresh snow like that, and I haven't done it this year yet! Come on now!”
They slowly and methodically went up the hill – Vigg with his odd single ski on his back, Spike pulling the sled he had borrowed – and when there they used some gathered dry twigs and some firewood from a big heap of it to make a small campfire. Vigg explained that he had helped to chop the firewood here; it was for everydeer, but somedeer had to chop it.
As they chewed on their soggy sandwiches in silence Spike felt that Vigg actually relished being with a friend and not saying anything. He himself had no such proclivities however, and after a while he had to bring up a subject that had been burning him in a different way than the fire he always kept in his belly.
”Vigg, why is it that reindeer think Twilight's an evil sorceress?” he said.
Vigg remained silent for a while.
”I think it's something one of my teacher called 'values dissonance',” he said finally.
”What does that mean? I live in a library and I don't know!” said Spike grouchily.
”It means – I think it means – that when cultures have different values, and they meet, they get dissonant – they conflict. See, we reindeer don't really like magic,” he explained.
”Why not? It's pretty useful,” said Spike. ”And I mean, your grandpa's supposed to be this big traditionalist reindeer, and he has a court sorcerer.”
”Well, we think it's useful too... just that it's iffy. And the more powerful it is, the iffier,” Vigg said.
”But why is that?” said Spike. ”I can understand if it's bad to, say, magic a rock to the head of someone. But what if you magic someone up from a deep deep hole?”
”Well,” said Vigg, ”to reindeer – not to all of us, all the time, mind you – it's like this: you make magic by... convincing the world to do something.”
Spike frowned. ”That doesn't seem like the magic Twilight does” he said. ”That's all like baking a cake. Well, except Twilight tends to mess up the recipe because she gets stressed the cake's for Celestia's birthday, so she makes a bomb instead...”
Vigg chuckled.
”Think of it as a metaphor, OK?" he said. "Anyway, magic is like convincing the world to do something for you, except the world isn't supposed to change much. It is like it is for a reason. Every time you change one thing, you change something else. So magic is like changing everything because you want to, without caring what happens to anyone else, which is selfish. And being selfish is bad and being bad is evil, OK?"
”So throwing a rock on someone with magic is bad not because you're beaning someone with a rock, but because rocks shouldn't fly?” Spike said. Vigg nodded.
”Yeah, sort of. But ponies... many ponies are unicorns, and they use magic like I use my hooves. I mean it would be really weird if you said it was evil to use your hooves. So ponies can't really think magic is evil in itself, but reindeer can,” he said and ate the last of his sandwich.
“Then, there 's this thing about Equestria,” he continued. “Reindeer are sort of... of two minds about it.”
“Why's that?” said Spike. “It's a big country, but it's not like it goes around and invades other countries and so on?”
“Well, there're reindeer like my grandpa who thinks Equestria does that in another way, merely because others want to be Equestrian so much. I don't really agree, and there aren't that many I think. It's something else. Equestria seems... too good!” Vigg said.
“Why, you reindeer are never satisfied!” Spike said.
Vigg chuckled again and shook his head. “Spike... no one else in the world has it as good as the ponies of Equestria. Maybe the zebras or ki-rin are close, maybe some of the camel sultanates, but the ponies have us all beat. Relative to the size, there's no other place which has so little crime, so little poverty, so much... love and tolerance. And the inhabitants are all pastel-colored and friendly and obsessed with cuteness, and they have made the whole country into a park where even the animals don't hurt each other. They haven't been to war for centuries, and they're ruled by a benevolent immortal god-queen who even seems to call herself 'princess' because everydeer who has read a fairy tale knows that princesses are good and queens are wicked,” Vigg said with a certain emotion. “It all seems too good to be true. Remember what I said about how magic works – we reindeer tend to think like that about everything. Where's the catch, many of us say.”
“Is pessimism like a national sport here in Tarandroland?” said Spike.
Vigg laughed. “Try living in a country where four fifths of the year are blizzards and the remaining fifth mosquito, where everydeer uses vodka as interior heating, where – in the worst parts – there can be weeks without sunrise, and you would get pessimistic too!” he said, and then he continued. “So, Princess Skinf... Princess Celestia has an agent who is perhaps the world's greatest sorceress. She must be evil, right? So, obviously Celestia has this cabal of magic ponies who keeps Equestria perfect by making all the problems go away.”
“That's... really silly!” protested Spike. “Besides, only two of the Elements of Harmony even have real magic!”
“Reindeer don't know that, because our magic works differently. And because so many reindeer have all knowledge of Equestria from Foalywood, they haven't learned any better. There're even reindeer who think that alicorns are just a different kind of pony, or like the crossbreed between a pegasus and a unicorn...” Vigg said.
”But there are reindeer magicians?” Spike said.
”Yeah, but they avoid using magic unless it's really necessary, and their favorite magics are passive,” Vigg explained.
”What do you mean passive?” said Spike and ate the crumbs of his sandwich
”Well, seeing and knowing things others don't know, mostly. That's a very reindeer thing to do. All reindeer can do that, a little,” he said and looked a little awkward. ”See, I'm not sure of this 'magic is bad' thing, and I still have a hard time talking about magic.”
”You don't have to if you don't want to,” said Spike. ”I think you have explained why reindeer think Twilight is an evil sorceress: it's because she's an awesome sorceress. And you cannot be awesome without being evil if you're a sorceress.”
Vigg laughed again. ”That's the thing, yeah!” he said, and then fell silent.
”She really is awesome, though. Can I ask you something about Twilight, Spike?” Vigg said after a while.
”You don't think she's an evil sorceress, do you?” Spike said. Vigg shook his head with emphasis.
”I'm positive. I would have seen it otherwise!” he said.
Spike nodded. ”OK, shoot away! We have talked about her earlier today, what did we miss?” he said.
”Well... how do you fit together, you and Twilight? I mean, what are you to her? You're obviously not her pet, because you're a person, and not her familiar, because you're willing,” Vigg said.
”I'm her assistant!” Spike said. ”Already told you, remember?”
”Well, yes and no. Because you're a minor, Spike. You're even younger than me. And ponies usually don't hire kids as assistants – and I remember you complaining about not getting paid earlier,” Vigg said.
”Well, Twilight... we grew up together, alright? So we're family. And kids... kids help with the family business, right? And... the grazer herds you told me about, all the kids help right?” Spike said, feeling a little uncomfortable about the subject.
Vigg was silent a bit, contemplating it.
”I realize you don't mean biologically related, but what kind of family do you mean. Like, are you her little brother?” Vigg asked. Spike sighed.
”Yeah, it's a lot like that... honestly, most kids I know my age are fillies, but they relate to their big sisters a lot like I do to Twilight...” he said.
”Oh, good! Sorry I am going on like this, it's a reindeer thing to want to know how things... how deer... how people relate to each other. It's like... sniffing their fur and checking the marks in their ears,” he said and rubbed his own ear to show the herd-marks cut into it.
Spike frowned again. ”Except... it's not all that easy. Because, see... I never had a mom or dad,” Spike said. Vigg looked sympathetic. ”I mean, it was no trouble, really... See, Twilight's mom and dad were there, but mostly... it was Twilight,” he continued.
”She hatched my egg. With her magic, I mean, she didn't have to sit on it or anything. And she took care of me all the time despite her just being a little filly back then. So... when I was really small I called Twilight mommy. I mean when I was so small I still sucked my tail,” he said embarrassed Vigg, out of courtesy, didn't laugh or smile.
”So,” said the reindeer prince, ”Twilight is your mother?” Spike slowly nodded.
“Let's settle for my mother. Twilight is my mom,” he said.
They sat silent for a while in the way reindeer actually seemed to like, if they knew the other being well enough, and Spike saw the sun setting (but missed Luna raising the moon from Sarvvik, as it happens) and the stars starting to come out.
Then Vigg said the words that were like a red-hot namesake to himself into Spikes brain:
”Spike, your mom is really hot!”
Thanks to krdragon for help with proofreading!
I love this story. Its kind of hard to read on the fimfiction site though. All the spacing is wonky. I'd also suggest getting rid of the breaks in the 2/3 part of the ninth chapter. Since there isn't any time passing between the conversation, and your not splitting to another scene, you don't need them.
BWAHHHHH-HAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAA!
Perfect last line.
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Re: Spacing: Yeah, I should probably look over that... Any tips on on how to make it better?
I... I don't even know why I put that break there... Hm?
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I aim to please.
It can be hard to see, mostly because I cannot write teenagers worth a damn, but Vigg is something like fifteen (fairly older than Spike, slightly younger than Saga). He has his moments of less-than-mature...
”Spike, your mom is really hot!”
And then Spike proceeded to punch his royal face.
Oh Vigg. XD
I love the reindeer's interpretation of magic. And also Spike clarifying that Twilight didn't have to sit on the gg.
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Bucks will be bucks!
In my head-fanon, the times he or Twilight talk about such personal things, people keep thinking she sat on it like a hen, so he has got into the habit of correcting them.
ROFL, that last line!
SPOILER ALERT!!!!
Vigg sighed. ”OK, it's your funeral!” he said and winced.
-I take it he doesn't realize how tough dragons are, or isn't thinking of Spike as a dragon?
some were about Luna or Celestia or the Elements of Harmony,
-Might want to clarify this to "the bearers of the Elements of Harmony"... one of the very slightly annoying things that comes with the territory of this setting/fandom is that "The Elements of Harmony" can mean two or three different things. First, the Mane Six in their role. Second, the regalia (currently five necklaces and a tiara, although one suspects that they were in a different form when the Sisters used them against Discord). Thirdly the set of abstract concepts/ethical principles.
but everyone became strangely impressed and gushing and jealous about living inside a living tree.
-Well, if a lot of their magic is focused around doing stuff with dead wood, then being able to make something out of a tree WITHOUT killing it would be a big deal.
So magic is like changing everything because you want to, without caring what happens to anyone else, which is selfish.
-My cousin, who used to run really awesomely immersive, low-powered D&D campaigns, and only stopped because he ran out of stories in his heart to tell, and who is now a Catholic Priest, said that the versions of fantasy magic he liked the best were where magic was a way of, in one tiny place and time, restoring creation to the way it was before the Fall of Man, the way things are SUPPOSED to be. He also likes/d (at least in his D&D campaigns) for magic to be RARE. Even a 1st level healing spell would be something that people would tell their grandchildren about having even SEEN being used. Well, to me Pony (all three kinds) magic is very much making the world the way it should be. It is part and parcel of the order of the world. It isn't that the pegasi shape the weather, it is that without pegasi, in most places there couldn't BE weather. Of course, this also means that it is common as dishwater.
And they are ruled by a benevolent immortal god-queen who even seems to call herself 'princess' because everydeer who has read a fairy tale knows that princesses are good and queens are wicked,
-Nice lampshading... and the stuff about America, and maybe other wealthy industrialized, modernized nations, and how they are seen by the rest of the world, is good lampshading too.
See, Twilight's mom and dad were there, but mostly... it was Twilight,”
-Goes against Word of God, but so what?
”She hatched my egg. With her magic, I mean, she didn't have to sit on it or anything.
-One hopes that Vigg doesn't spread this information around... by their ethics/superstitions it means she all but conjured him up from pure evil magic.
he said embarrassed
-Need a period after "embarrassed" I think...
”Spike, your mom is really hot!”
-Eh, she MAY be a little old for him, but then again Spike has no room to throw stones on that account. Other than that... he should totally get to know her better. Might turn out to be a passing fancy, but the politics of the situation wouldn't be too bad in the long run (his dad wouldn't approve, but Celestia would totally go for it). Alliance by marriage sort of thing. Shoot, if he could stand that much magic in such a personal matter, I could even see them having hybrid children. Of course, that is getting WAY WAY ahead of things... they barely know eachother, but there is no harm in seeking to change that.
I knew it! He wasn't staring at her because of her being 'evil,' he was staring because he thought she was attractive. Hahahaha! I love it.
I was waiting for clarification on why the reindeer saw Twilight as an evil sorceress, and it came in this chapter thanks for that, sieurin.
<"Spike, your mom is really hot!"
Spike pulls one of these and the screen cuts to black immediately afterward.
Really great chapter. Superbly amusing end.
I wish I could have seen Spike's face right there!!!!
Hoo-boy! Saw that one coming!
230736 **My cousin, who used to run really awesomely immersive, low-powered D&D campaigns, and only stopped because he ran out of stories in his heart to tell, and who is now a Catholic Priest, said that the versions of fantasy magic he liked the best were where magic was a way of, in one tiny place and time, restoring creation to the way it was before the Fall of Man, the way things are SUPPOSED to be. He also likes/d (at least in his D&D campaigns) for magic to be RARE. Even a 1st level healing spell would be something that people would tell their grandchildren about having even SEEN being used. Well, to me Pony (all three kinds) magic is very much making the world the way it should be. It is part and parcel of the order of the world. It isn't that the pegasi shape the weather, it is that without pegasi, in most places there couldn't BE weather. Of course, this also means that it is common as dishwater.**
That is a fascinating concept, and I really like your headcanon about pony magic; I might just end up adopting it as my own. So then, it would follow that pegasi are SUPPOSED to be in all the different countries too, and not just Equestria? And I suppose zebra, buffalo, etc are also supposed to be in all different countries as well, even if we don't know that much about their magic. Because hey, diversity.
I've heard people go back and forth about whether Spike considers Twilight like a mother or sister. (Especially Jake the Army Guy who is decidedly in the sister camp.) You know in an interview I think that was at Bronycon, Cathy Wesluck described Spike's relationship to Twilight as a brother and sister whose parents are dead. That's definitely the best answer.
Despite that, setting up Spike and Twilight's relationship as a maternal one was totally worth it just for Vigg's last line.
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Note that Spike goes back and forth about what their relationship is. Really, there is nothing close to it in reality when it comes to background and circumstances. "Close, with Twilight socially on top" is basically it. (It doesn't help that to me Spike is very often Twilight's pet on the show, in a way.)
I chose it this way not just because of the plot point, but because of the dramatic possibilities in general (for me). I tend to go that way about uncertain canon: buck canonicity, hooray for applicability. I have trouble seeing Faust's version of "Celestia is Spike's official mom" in the show, but I also consider that one great for stories.
3301111 I believe Spike's voice actor said that Spike sees Twilight was an older sister in a family without parents, but hey this is the land of MLP fanfic so it can go in any direction it wants.
that last line. wow. just wow.
4169910 What? She is hot
I saw that coming from too far away to elicit more than a chuckle. That's the problem with too much foreshadowing.
Can't wait for the hijinks!
But there are no cats in America
And the streets are paved with cheese
Oh there are no cats in America
So set your mind at ease
5504068 I was thinking the same thing , but for the life of me I cannot remember what that is from.
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Am American Tale