Retiring isn't always easy. Especially when your job title is Evil Overlord. Most of the time retirement from that particular position comes on the sharp end of an opportunistic hero's sword. But Damien didn't survive the past six centuries by playing by the rules. His retirement plans involve running. Running from his country, his continent, and his very universe to escape Fate's long reach. And what better place to run to in an attempt to live peacefully than the utopian land of Equestria?
Currently being edited by the ever amazing Frederick the Saiyan.
Since I've had a number of comments on this I figure I should clear it up here. This is not a crossover witht he overlord game series. Note the lack of a crossover tag.
<subtle hint>I am open to submissions for a better title image</subtle hint>
“So then after the triple corkscrew I’ll do a double backwards loop and then… The Sonic Rainboom,” Dash said cockily as she detailed her latest sequence of tricks to Twilight.
“Well it certainly sounds like it will be amazing,” Twilight said appreciatively. "But are you sure you can pull off a Rainboom so close to the ground?”
“That’ll be easy; I am the best flier in Equestria after all.”
“If you say so Dash. It still sounds dangerous though.” Twilight couldn’t help but shake her head at the recklessness of her friend.
“Please, danger is my middle name,” Dash boasted.
“Really? I thought it was-”
“Oh HEY! Look there’s Pinkie let’s go say hi!” Dash cried out as she zipped away from Twilight. When she drew closer to her pink friend she noticed that Pinkie was apparently talking to the thin air in front of her.
“OH! Then we can play pin the tail on the pony! That’s my most favoritest party game ever! Have you ever played it before?” Pinkie babbled on, ignorant of her new audience.
“Hey Pinkie… Who are you talking to?” Twilight asked as she neared the pink party pony.
“I don’t know.” She smiled happily. “I call him Mister Scary Overlord Guy! Hi Mister Scary Overlord Guy!” she shouted as she waved at the empty air in front of her.
Before Twilight could ask another question Rainbow’s hoof shot out to cover her mouth. “It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. Don’t question it,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Right. I just wish I could understand half of what she does,” Twilight lamented as she watched her friend continue to wave at nothing.
<-[XXXXX]->
They were in the highest room of the tallest tower. It is, of course, where everything of real importance happens when such a location is available. Two figures were staring at a glowing white sphere, although both seemed human something seemed off about both of them. A casual observer, however, would be far more likely to notice the fact that a pink pony was waving at the two from inside the sphere than they would anything else.
“How does she even know you’re watching her?” the woman asked with a raised eyebrow. She was tall and inhumanly thin, rich brown hair flowed down her back like a river over a field of diaphanous silks that clouded the air around her. A fire burned in her pure white eyes that hinted at the immense power that was bound in her seemingly simple form.
“I have no idea,” the man chuckled. He seemed almost flat, there were no shadows or highlights on his body and he looked more like a drawing than a living being. “I like her though; apparently when I open the gate and find her she’s going to throw me a party.” He smiled. “It’s been decades since anyone’s thrown a party for me that wasn’t supposed to end with me dead.” He paused for a moment. "I suppose that one with that Warrior Queen might count, she wanted me enslaved instead of dead if I remember correctly."
“So you’re really going through with it aren’t you? Going to that world to start anew,” she said, a touch of sadness tainting her words.
“Of course I am!” he replied indignantly. “I tried retiring once before and we both know how well that went. If I want out of your little games I’m going to need to leave this world completely. Besides, this world is so innocent! So accepting! So long as I stay on the side of the law they will be more than willing to give me a chance at a fresh start!”
The woman chuckled. “It figures that you would escape. You always were the best you know.”
The man was silent for a few moments. “Thank you. That actually means something coming from you.”
“I suppose you’ve managed to find a way to retain most of your power this time? Your last attempt at retirement left you rather weak.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t still be alive if I didn’t learn from my mistakes.” He waved a hand and his body shimmered as the illusion that kept him looking human dropped, in his place now stood a four legged creature slightly over half his illusion's height. “I’ve already inscribed the runes into my new bones and have transferred as much power as possible into my grimoire.” He patted a satchel that hung from his side, a satchel that looked far too small to hold a book of any kind. “I’ll still be a shadow of what I am now but it will do.”
“Already situated with your new body I see.”
He laughed at this. “Only a fool would simply jump into a new body. It took some time to get the hang of flying and I certainly won’t be winning any races but I can fly and defend myself. All that remains is to cast the final spell and leave.”
A sly smile worked it's way across the woman's face as she gave the man a sidelong glance. “I could stop you, you know. Your wards are gone and your defenses are lowered to power your spell. For the first time in centuries I’m actually here in full force instead of poking a finger through the holes in your defenses.” She ran a hand down his neck. "It would be so easy right now."
He shook his head and rolled his eyes at her. “But you won’t. You never intervene directly, you use proxies and pawns. The fact that you’re actually here just goes to show that you aren’t going to stop me.” His slight glare melted as a hint of a smile touched his eyes. “In fact, if I didn’t know better I’d think you want me to escape.”
“Just cast the spell,” she muttered with a huff.
The man laughed to himself as he padded over to a large jar filled to the brim with fresh blood. “Cost me a fortune to get this stuff. Probably would have been easier if I was willing to kill them for it but I don’t want my last act here to be the murder of a dozen virgins.” He hefted the large jar easily and eased it onto his back. Satisfied it was in place he returned to the center of the room and placed it carefully on the ground. He steadied the jar with his forelimbs and began tipping the jar slowly so as not to splash the precious fluid all over the floor. Slowly but surely the blood began to flow from the jar into deep grooves that had been carved into the floor. Wherever the blood went an eerie red light sprang up from the engraved spell construct. Before long the entire room was bathed in strange otherworldly light. His work complete he tossed the jar aside and turned to the sphere that continued to show images of the peaceful world he had been observing for the past year. It had taken him a while to learn the language, both written and spoken. Even longer to find a proper form to shift into and prepare himself for his eventual journey but the time had come. He was going to escape. With a manic grin he lifted one forelimb into the air and brought it down on the orb.
There was a massive explosion of light and sound as shards of glass scythed through the air, a noise akin to tearing fabric split the air as the light faded. When he managed to open his eyes again he was staring at a tear in reality, a tear leading to Equestria. With a final wave to the woman he spread his wings and leapt through the portal and towards his new start.
<-[XXXXX]->
Gilda had been staying in the Everfree for nearly a month now. Every day she would fly to the edge of the forest and stare at Ponyville, trying to work up the courage to head into town and find Dash. Not that she would ever admit to being scared or to wanting the forgiveness of her lame-o former friend. She was far too cool for that sort of thing.
She was on her way back to her makeshift nest from her daily Ponyville viewing when she heard it: a sound reminiscent of tearing fabric being broadcasted over industrial grade loudspeakers while the souls of the damned acted as backup singers. She whipped her head back and forth in an attempt to figure out where the wretched sound was coming from to no avail. As quickly as it started it stopped, leaving ringing silence in its wake, a silence that was pierced by a thunderous crash that came from the direction of her nest.
She bit back a curse as she flared her wings out and shot towards her home. It may not be a particularly nice nest but it was hers damn it! Her beak twisted into a grimace as thoughts of something destroying what she had worked so hard to build flashed through her mind. Another growl rumbled out of her throat as she put on another burst of speed that would have impressed even Rainbow Dash. In the blink of an eye she was back in the clearing she had made her home bristling for a fight.
However the scene that greeted her brought her bloodlust to a screeching halt. Her nest was, thankfully, untouched. This fact was disregarded almost immediately as she surveyed the respectable crater that had been punched into the middle of the clearing. Her eyes widened even further as she saw what was crawling, intact no less, from the crater. Another griffon. His coat feathers were a deep brownish black, his wing feathers were much the same but tinged with silver along the ends, his fur was a pale sandy tan that contrasted sharply with his dark plumage, and both his eyes and beak were both a cold steel grey.
She hadn’t seen another griffon in months. The griffon city-states were already notoriously insular and what few griffons did leave to travel abroad almost never came this far into Equestrian lands. She was so shocked at the sight of another griffon that for the moment she completely forgot the fact that he had apparently crash landed with enough force to carve out a crater in the middle of her clearing.
“Gates that was an annoying experience. Should’ve known inter-universal travel would be unpleasant,” he muttered as he dusted himself off and looked at the crater he had come out of. “At least I’m as tough as I should be. Half expected those damn spells to fall apart on my way here. Oh well, all the better. Now where the pit am I?”
Hearing the strange griffon speak brought Gilda back down to earth and back to her not inconsiderable anger at having her home invaded so thoroughly. “What the buck are you doing in my clearing?!” she raged as she swept down to his level.
The other griffon seemed startled by Gilda’s sudden outburst. “Ah! A griffon! Didn’t expect to see one of you this far into Equestria, thought you tended to keep to yourselves. Guess this throws the whole strange foreigner gambit out the window huh?” he asked her conversationally.
Gilda couldn’t help but glare at the stranger; he hadn’t even paid the slightest attention to her demand for answers. “I said: What. The. Buck. Are. You. Doing. In. My. Clearing?” she demanded again, her feathers bristling in rage.
The other griffon grinned mischievously. “And if I don’t answer your question?” he asked innocently.
Gilda advanced several steps, her wings flaring and her claws twitching dangerously.
Surprisingly the other griffon merely chuckled at the display. “Don’t bother girl, I don’t want to have to hurt you.” His face suddenly shifted to a look of barely restrained malice. “But I will destroy you should you give me just cause.” As quickly as it had come it was gone, replaced with a look of subdued glee. “As for why I’m in your clearing, I was traveling and found myself engaged in an unexpected landing.” He swept into a low bow. "I apologize for the inconvenience my dear."
Gilda paused momentarily. Partially mollified by his apology but the look that had flashed across his face was what truly gave her pause. The closest she had never felt anything like the sheer volume of promised ciolence that had shone in the griffon's eyes was when a couple unicorns had tried to strong-arm her mother into giving up her claim on a house. In that moment she saw that whoever this was, he was not someone that would be pushed around. “Fine. Whatever,” she grunted in acceptance of his apology. “What are you doing out here anyway?”
“Ah, therein lies a tale!” he crowed as he spread his talons to the sky and flared his wings dramatically. “There was once a man, a devilishly handsome, ungodly powerful man, a man that all the world feared and hated. A man who was… bored. He despised that everyone was trying to kill him. He hated that he couldn’t leave his castle without being besieged by heroes. He abhorred the constant assaults by the gods and fae alike. So he decided to retire. But he couldn’t just retire anywhere. He had tried that before and it didn’t work. So he decided to tear apart reality and leave his world behind for a new one.” The griffon grinned manically. “And he succeeded. He clothed himself in new flesh to fit his new home and left his world behind to come here to live out the rest of eternity in peace.”
Gilda simply stared at him for a few moments before shaking her head roughly. “Okay then, you’re just crazy.”
“Eh, I’ll take that,” he chuckled with another grin. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to know where a town by the name of Ponyville is would you? I believe someone is waiting for me there.”
Gilda froze. This was it;this was her chance. A smile slid its way across her beak as a plan began to form in her mind. She would lead him to Ponyville and offer to stick around for a while to make sure nothing went wrong. She wouldn’t be crawling back, she would be returning with her head held high and if any of those loser ponies complained about it she would just point out that she was helping out a fellow griffon. “Yeah, I know the place you’re talking about. Can lead you straight there too.”
A sly smile had blossomed across his face as he had watched the gears turning in Gilda’s brain. “Excellent!” he crowed. “Ah! Before I forget, you may call me Damien. Thank you for your assistance,” he said as he extended a forelimb.
“Whatever, Damien. I just don’t have anything better to do.” She paused as she regarded his outstretched talon coldly. “Name’s Gilda,” she said as she grasped it with her own and gave it a curt shake. “Now let’s get going before something actually important comes up.” Not waiting for a response she took to the air.
“Of course Gilda, I would never presume to impugn on your valuable time,” Damien replied with a smirk as he shot into the air after her. It looked like he was already scheduled to have a very interesting retirement.
The trip to Ponyville was, for Gilda at least, predictably uneventful. The nearby residents of the forest had long since realized that the griffon was no easy prey and the only creatures that could truly pose a threat to her lived much further in the forest.
Damien seemed to be having a grand time though. He was inspecting every little plant and animal that passed underneath them and had swooped down several times to grab an interesting looking plant. The only plant he avoided completely was a small patch of poison joke.
Gilda was slightly disappointed at that, when pressed he muttered something about bright colors meaning stay away. It was a pity, she had been wondering what it would do to him if he did grab it.
Soon enough they reached the edge of the forest, the edge that Gilda had yet to cross in all her time in the Everfree. Out of pure habit she swooped down to land on the sturdy branch that had held her so many times before and stared out at the town. It was finally going to happen. She was finally going to leave the forest and go into town. Not that she was scared. Why would anyone be scared of a bunch of loser ponies?
“Might you be scared?” Damien asked from right beside her.
Gilda gave a rather undignified squawk as she nearly leapt from the branch she had been perched on. Seeing there was no way to save face after that she settled for glaring at her companion. “No I’m not! And don’t sneak up on me like that!”
“Bah, you were so focused on the town there that I didn’t have to sneak. That was more like creeping… Skulking? Lurking! No… Slinking?” His rebuttal quickly devolved into a long list of synonyms for sneaking and their relative value of sneakiness.
Seeing that her normally impressive glare had, once again, proven to be completely useless against Damien’s apparently perpetual insanity Gilda leapt off the tree and glided to the ground. “Come on freak. We’re walking the rest of the way.”
Gilda’s jab snapped Damien back to reality just as he was entering the twenty-second synonym for sneaking. “Why? We’ve been flying the whole time and that’s much faster than walking. Pit, I'm starting to wonder how I managed to live so long without wings in the first place!”
Gilda’s beak opened and closed several times as she tried to figure out a response to Damien’s latest casual revelation before deciding to ignore the matter completely. “Because flying in will attract too much attention.” She glared up at him. “And that’s a bad thing. There are a couple of ponies living there I don’t want to meet yet so don’t screw this up for me, got it?”
“Ah, so you were already planning on heading into town then?”
“What?”
“You’ve obviously thought through how to approach the town and you said there are ponies you don’t want to meet yet, as in you want to meet them later but only on your own terms.” He smiled, not a condescending smirk or a haughty grin this time, but a simple genuine smile. “I can’t make any promises that my plans won’t interfere with yours but I won’t intentionally upset them.” He leapt down from the tree and gestured melodramatically towards Ponyville. “Now shall we go into town m’lady?”
Gilda just shook her head confusedly at his sudden change in demeanor and began the long walk to the town outskirts with Damien contentedly trailing behind.
<-[XXXXX]->
Their entrance into Ponyville was, in Damien’s opinion, surprisingly quiet. His surprise was partly because he hadn’t been in a major town where people didn’t either run away screaming or collapse to the ground begging he spare them for a very long time. However most of his preconceptions about how the town would receive him were because he had observed, several times, the entire town shutting down because a zebra came by for a visit. Later viewings showed that they finally accepted the zebra as something that they didn’t have to live in constant terror of but that had taken several months. He assumed that with the presence of two griffons, creatures known in his world at least for eating horses, there would be a bit more commotion.
What he got instead was little more than a brief glance in their direction by some of the more curious townspeople. He was actually feeling a little short changed by the time they got into the town proper. His disappointment was mostly mollified by all the various sights around town. Seeing things in person was quite a different experience from scrying it after all.
“Hey, you said someone was waiting for you right? You know where to find ‘em?”
Gilda’s sudden question snapped Damien’s attention back to the irate griffon at his side. “Of course! Been observing the place for some time now, made sure to memorize the layout and everything. The place we’re looking for is just down the street and on our left.”
Satisfied that he knew what he was doing Gilda let herself fall behind and follow him as she got lost in her thoughts. She had managed to get into the town but she would still have to find some way to get Dash to come to her, there was no way she was going to be the one apologizing first. After all she did deserve an apology too. It’s not like she was the only one that acted like a jerk. Was that freak going to be staying in Ponyville? He hadn’t said. He was meeting someone here but what if he was just visiting? No, he had to be staying. She’d be able to offer to help pay for rent or something, he didn’t look like he had any bits on him anyway and she could just say it would be better than living out in the woods. That much would be true at least. She couldn’t count the times she’d woken up with all sorts of tree crap in her feathers. She distantly recognized the sound of a jingling bell but paid it no mind as she continued working out how to stay in Ponyville without losing face. This was quickly interrupted when a shout echoed around the store she had followed Damien into.
“What are you doing here Meanie McMeaniepants?!”
Gilda’s eyes widened as she recognized the voice. It couldn’t be. There was no way he had managed to lead her to one of the two places that she had been planning on avoiding while here. Her head whipped around as she took in her surroundings. Pastries, cookies, and all manner of baked goods decorated the shelves and counters, and in the middle of it stood an angry looking pink pony pointing an accusatory hoof at Gilda.
Damien was glancing back and forth between the two with a look of amusement on his face. “Meanie McMeaniepants?” he asked Gilda with a barely suppressed chuckle.
“Shut it dweeb,” she growled back. “I’ll wait outside.”
Before she could turn to leave Pinkie somehow managed to cross the entire distance between them and plant herself firmly between Gilda and the door. “Not until you promise to apologize to Fluttershy and Dashie and everypony you were a meanie to!”
“Move it before I move you,” Gilda growled, crouching down slightly and clicking her talons ominously against the wooden floor.
“No!” Pinkie said as she too began to move into a more aggressive stance and pawed at the ground.
Damien was torn between being slightly hurt that everyone was ignoring him and amusement at the scene before him. He had figured that there was some sort of history between Gilda and the town but he hadn’t expected Pinkie of all people to be enraged at her. For a brief moment he considered letting the two go at each other. He hadn’t seen either of them actually fight before and it was almost bound to be an extremely interesting diversion. The moment passed when he realized that letting the only person that had helped him and the only person that knew him fight, maybe to the death, was not a good thing, no matter how entertaining it might be.
“Girls, girls could we please just calm down for a moment!” he shouted as he stepped between the two angry quadrupeds. “As entertaining as it would be to see you two kill each other I think this isn’t the best place to do it, might get blood on the rolls after all.” He turned a hurt look to Pinkie. “Besides, you said there was going to be a party when I finally showed up.”
This sentence caused Pinkie’s entire body to lock up at once. Damien stared at her for several seconds wondering if he had somehow broken the poor thing and how he was going to talk his way out of it when she burst back into motion. She rocketed forward and pressed her forehead directly against his, her eyes bulged out as their gazes locked.
Damien was too shocked to figure out how to respond, caught between confusion, knowledge that she wasn’t going to, purposefully, hurt him, and his centuries old instinct of striking down anything that got this close to him so fast. The conundrum was thankfully disposed of as Pinkie shot into the air with a gasp that Damien felt certain left no air for the rest of the shop.
“Mister Scary Overlord Guy!” Pinkie cried out as she hung at the apex of her jump, far longer than anything should be capable of.
He smiled at her recognition. “I usually go by Damien.”
“I’m so happy you finally decided to come! You were watching Ponyville and Equestria for so long and then I got a twitchy twitch that meant somepony was coming that I had been waiting to see for a long time and I thought that meant you and then you did show up!” Her eyes widened to impossible proportions as she gasped again. “I need to get your surprise welcome party ready! Don’t tell you that I told you about the surprise part cause then it would just be a party instead of a surprise party and I need to go get ready! Bye Scary Overlord Damien! Bye Gilda McMeanipants!”
As soon as Pinkie finished speaking she was gone, leaving behind nothing but a pink outline, the faint smell of cotton candy, and a pair of slightly confused griffons.
“That went pretty well,” Damien finally said into the silence.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to mess with my plans,” Gilda replied acidly.
“I said I would not do so intentionally. That was a coincidence. Now if you had told me you didn’t want to see Pinkie Pie I would have warned you. There wouldn’t happen to be any other ponies that you’re avoiding are there?”
Gilda’s eyes shifted back and forth as she contemplated what to tell him. “Rainbow Dash,” she finally conceded.
“Right, I’ll make sure I don’t go to her for something without warning you first. But for now, the hunt begins!” he shouted as he leapt through the open bakery door.
“Wha-? Wait up freak!” Gilda cried as she chased after the fleeing griffon.
<-[XXXXX]->
“Two. Hours,” A disgruntled, disheveled, and slightly bruised Gilda grumbled as she and Damien sat in the town hall waiting for the mayor to become available.
“Come now, it wasn’t that bad my dear,” Damien chuckled. “Besides, I and those fillies had fun with all this, why can’t you?”
Gilda fixed one twitching eye on Damien. “You could have asked anyone in this town for directions on where to get residency. They would have told you right away, those dweebs do things like that to try and make you lower your guard.” A dark look passed her face. “Just like that party Pinkie is setting up for you.” She spat the word party like a curse before she shook her head and got back on track. “No. You had to ask them.” She shuddered visibly.
“It wasn’t that bad. Besides, now they know that none of them have special talents involving griffon catching, griffon bothering, griffon tripping, griffon medical care, defending the town against griffons, trapping griffons under avalanches, or digging griffons out of aforementioned avalanches.” He grinned as Gilda picked out another loose rock from her feathers.
“I’m going to be preening out rocks and gravel for weeks,” she grunted as she flicked the offending rock at Damien.
He merely laughed again as the rock bounced off his head.
“Miss Mare will see you now,” came the soft voice of the receptionist.
“Excellent! Thank you very much for letting us know my dear,” Damien called out to her amicably. “Just straight down the hall correct?”
“Yes,” she replied as she looked back down at the magazine she had been reading.
“Then away we go,” he said with a smile as he headed down the hall.
<-[XXXXX]->
“So why exactly do you want to live in Ponyville mister…” Mayor Mare glanced down at the residency application in front of her. “Damien?”
“Well my last job was rather… Stressful if you will. I figured that your town would be the perfect place to relax and spend my retirement.”
The Mayor hid her look of shock behind the quickly lifted residency application. Ponyville? Relaxing? Sure it was usually pretty quiet but there had been that incident with the Parasprites, and the one with the Ursa Minor, then there had been the whole dragon fiasco, and that didn’t include all the things that happened on a daily basis from Dash’s tricks, Pinkie’s parties, occasional visits from royalty, or, she shuddered, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. In fact there were probably only about one or two relaxing days a week. And even those usually saw at least somepony causing trouble or getting hurt. There was a reason most ponies preferred to visit instead of move here.
“I… see,” she said as she regained control of her expression. “And you are aware of the fact that the bearers of the Elements of Harmony are here? And our proximity to the Everfree Forest? Not to mention-”
“I see what you’re getting at,” he chuckled softly with a shake of his head before raising it again to look her in the eye with a smile. “Tell me, what are the chances that someone will try to kill me while I sleep during my time here?”
The Mayor looked shocked at the question. “No one here would ever even think of murdering anyone!”
“And the chances of someone breaking into my house to steal everything I own?”
“Non-existent! Ponyville has one of, if not the, lowest crime rates in Equestria!”
“Exactly! Back in my old home I couldn’t go through a week without at least one murder attempt! You’re promising me that I can actually relax here! Something I haven’t been able to do in centuries!”
“Centuries?” she asked before she could help herself. She quickly held up a hoof to stop any forthcoming response with a resolute, “never mind.” A few careful presses from a rubber stamp that sat on one corner of her desk later the residency application was approved. “Do you have anywhere to stay set up or..?” she left the question hanging.
“I was actually hoping to find out what houses are available for sale while I was here.” As he said this he reached into the satchel at his side, somehow managing to fit half his forelimb into a bag only slightly larger than his hand. “Found one!” he crowed triumphantly after rummaging around in the bag for a few moments. Before the Mayor could ask he pulled a massive solid gold bar out of the bag and dropped it on her desk with a dull thud. “Think this’ll be enough to get me a house?”
The Mayor could only stare at the gold bar in front of her. “Y-yes. I believe that will be more than enough,” she finally managed to force out. “I… I think there’s a house on Bridle drive available. Three bed, two bath, very spacious. Still has the furniture from its previous owner.”
“Excellent! I’ll take it. Do I take care of that here or..?”
Her eyes snapped back to the griffon in front of her, glad to be back on a subject she could handle. “Yes, the house was left to the city after the previous owner passed away. We should be able to take care of everything right here if you have the time,” she said as she started getting out papers and forms.
“Sure, don’t see why not,” Damien responded, throwing an uncomfortable glance at the growing stack of papers.
The mayor smiled as she saw the griffon staring in mounting horror at the ever growing stack of paperwork. Yes, this was definitely more familiar ground.
<-[XXXXX]->
Gilda was sleeping peacefully on one of the chairs in the waiting room when Damien came out of the mayor’s office obviously favoring one forelimb. “I am never. Buying. A house. Again,” he muttered resolutely. Self-righteous heroes? Overzealous gods? Annoying peasants? He could handle those. Paperwork? Of that magnitude? Never. Again.
He poked Gilda awake with a grimace. Not even the idea of tormenting her was enough to get his spirits back up.
“Huh? Whuzzat?” Gilda grunted as she made her way back to consciousness. “You finally done in there?” she asked as her eyes focused on him. “What took so long?”
“Bought a house. Signed paperwork. So much paperwork,” he responded with a shudder.
“You bought a house?!” she cried. There was no way he needed any help if he was able to just up and buy a house. She would never be able to stick around under the pretense of helping him out now!
“Yeah, apparently it’s pretty nice. Thinking of renting out the extra bedrooms.” He smiled slyly at her. “Could give you a special rate for being such a big help. Wouldn’t want you running off before you finish whatever you came here to do after all.”
Gilda’s beak snapped shut with a crack. “Why are you doing this?” she growled as her eyes narrowed dangerously.
“You helped me, I help you. Pretty sure that makes us even. I don’t like being indebted to people that aren’t part of the game.” He pointedly ignored her look of confusion at the mention of the game. “Besides, if whatever you’re trying to do will be half as entertaining as the fight between you and Pinkie would have been I’d be a fool to miss out on such a show.” He glanced off to the side. “That and I actually know a grand total of two people here. I'm not giving up anyone that could be of use to me when I have so little to work with.”
“So… you have lots of selfish reasons for this right?”
“Gates yes! Given your personality and temperament they’re pretty much all I have. You don’t exactly inspire altruism in others my dear.”
Gilda snarled at his jab but decided not to rise to it. “Good. Everyone is only out for themselves. Some just lie about it more than the others.” She paused for a moment. “Where is this place anyway?”
“Got the address on the deed and the keys right here,” he said as he pulled the items in question out of his satchel.
“Good, let’s get going before the sun sets.”
<-[XXXXX]->
The trip to the house was mercifully short for Damien’s still cramping talon. It was a simple two story affair with a quaint garden out front and a small balcony for letting pegasi easily land and enter. Damien admired it for a moment before he walked up to the door and put the key in the lock and unlocked the door. For some reason Gilda seemed content to stay back and check the house out from a distance a little longer.
“Welcome home,” he happily said to himself as he opened the door.
“SURPRISE!”
The explosive shout nearly blew him on his back as all the lights in his house burst into life at once to reveal what looked like half the population of Ponyville crammed in his house. He looked dumbly down at the key in his hand and thought to the other one in his bag, the only two copies in existence. There was a party in his house, a house he had not officially owned until less than half an hour ago, a locked house that he and the Mayor were the only ones to handle the keys in recent memory. He looked back at the partygoers and zeroed in on Pinkie. Just blame her and it will all make sense he told himself resolutely as he regained his composure.
Among the ponies were scattered various tables of every snack food imaginable, streamers and balloons covered every inch of the walls and ceiling, and a massive banner reading ‘Welcome to Ponyville Damien!’ dominated the back wall.
Pinkie leapt out from the throng and dragged Damien into his house, intent on introducing him to everyone that had come to the party. Everyone was so intent on either greeting the new resident or getting as much food and punch as they could handle that they didn’t notice as a second griffon slunk into the house and started making her way towards the stairs, no one except for a certain rainbow maned pegasus.
Two things were running through Damien’s mind as Pinkie introduced him to everyone that failed to escape her watchful gaze. First was that in terms of refreshments and entertainment the party was surprisingly childish. Everything felt like it wouldn’t be out of place at a young child’s party. The second, exceedingly surprising thing was that he was actually enjoying it. Pinkie had somehow managed to infect him and everyone in the room with her seemingly bottomless happiness and had rekindled a tiny spark of innocence that Damien had though long extinguished. Introductions came and went, he found himself shaking hooves with everyone from the other Elements of Harmony to even the most humble of ponies that Ponyville had to offer.
Before long he found himself playing several juvenile party games with a fervor that had until recently only surfaced when he was faced with a particularly challenging hero. He also found, to his great satisfaction, that many of the skills he had perfected in his lifelong quest to keep from being murdered were surprisingly applicable in a social setting.
After six tied rounds of pin the tail on the pony against Pinkie Pie he managed to extricate himself from the game with the excuse of his stomach’s loud and continual reminders about the tables of snacks. He approached one of the tables happily and began to take stock of the spread before him. Everything was so colorful and new to him, in the end he simply picked up what was closest to him and took a bite. What began as a simple tasting quickly devolved into a full-fledged feast as he did his best to sample every single confection he could. Although such sweets weren’t unheard of back home he had never known that they came in such a variety of shapes, colors, and flavors.
Eventually the torrent of gluttony subsided and Damien managed to retreat from the snack tables, a difficult endeavor for anyone faced with Pinkie’s sugary treats. Despite the satisfaction he was feeling he knew something was missing. Something that no party he had ever attended was complete without. His eyes glinted as he spied a stool that would make an excellent platform. It was time to start telling stories.
<-[XXXXX]->
Gilda on the other hand was having a far less enjoyable time. The trip to the stairs had been a harrowing experience for her. Every snack was suspect, every ledge a danger, every time a pony grew close to her she felt herself shy away. This was one of her parties. Something was going to happen. She knew it. Even as fast as she was moving her constant detours made the trip to the stairs take several minutes. Several minutes that she was terrified that one of Pinkie’s loser friends would recognize her. Several minutes that she was sure Dash would see her.
She let out a sigh of relief when she finally managed to reach the second floor. Her eyes widened as she realized that she was shivering slightly and bit back a curse at her own fear. She was Gilda! She was the best! She was not scared of a bunch of lame ponies! Despite her constant attempts at dispelling the building unease in her chest she couldn’t shake the feelings that the party had brought up.
She could hear the raucous party-goers continuing to laugh and cheer downstairs. A sour grimace crossed her beak as she remembered her own Pinkie Pie Party. It had started out well enough. But then the pranks began. Looking back at it she had to admit that a couple of them were actually pretty funny, but when they had all come one after another... Her eyes narrowed and a feral growl rumbled deep in her throat. They had singled her out. They had all been laughing at her. All those ponies had ganged up on her just to humiliate her! Ponies always did that. You either fit into their nice little idea of how things should be or they ganged up on you. It didn’t matter if you were a griffon or a zebra, a buffalo or a dragon. If you didn’t fit into their nice and tidy little world they would run you out.
Before she knew it her wings were twitching in anger, her claws scoring shallow grooves in the wooden floor. She mentally face-taloned as she realized how worked up she was getting over those dweebs. She was better than them. She didn’t need them, they needed her. Even if they didn’t realize it they needed her. As the rage left her she realized just how emotionally and physically drained she was. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it to no avail before heading down the hallway. Damien wouldn’t mind if she just took one of the rooms right? There were three of them after all and he would just have to deal with it if he didn’t agree with her choice.
<-[XXXXX]->
The moment she had seen Gilda Rainbow Dash had made herself scarce. There had to be some reason that she had come back to Ponyville and Dash doubted it was a good one. Memories of the fight they had had at Pinkie’s Party, of the second fight they had had later that night. Dash’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. She had known Gilda wouldn’t just leave things at that. She had always been easily angered and had always gone for revenge. Chances were Gilda was here to hurt Pinkie or maybe even Dash.
She followed after Gilda carefully, making sure to stay in her blind spots and prepared to zip off, sans rainbow trail of course, the moment it looked like she was about to turn around. What she saw confused her though. Gilda had always been strong and brash. But this time there was something different about her. She seemed to be making her way through the crowd in such a way to cause as little trouble as possible. She was going out of her way to avoid everyone and everything. The old Gilda would have just barged straight through everything in her path. If it didn’t move fast enough that was its problem and not hers.
As soon as Gilda reached the stairs she sped up immensely, causing Dash to curse silently and nearly zip all the way up the stairs. She skidded to a halt as she saw that Gilda had stopped at the top of the stairs and was… shivering? That couldn’t be right. This was Gilda! Although she had avoided everypony downstairs… Dash felt a momentary pang of sadness for her erstwhile friend before reality reasserted itself. Gilda, scared? She would believe it when she saw it. Gilda hadn’t changed at all since their time at flight camp and there was no way she would have changed in the months that had passed since they had broken off their friendship.
Dash felt a rush of certainty as she saw Gilda’s wings twitching and heard the soft sound of talons scratching the floor. Gilda was angry. She was right. Gilda hadn’t changed. She was still the short fused bully that she had always been. Wasn’t she? Dash continued to watch as Gilda visibly deflated and trudged off down the hall. As she watched her walk out of sight Dash was torn between wanting to confront the griffon and confusion at what she had witnessed.
On one hoof Gilda was back and there was no way that was a good thing…. Right? On the other hoof she hadn’t been acting like her usual gruff self so was something wrong? Trapped in indecision Dash ground her hooves against her temples in a vain attempt to force things to make sense. Unfortunately all this did was increase her already throbbing headache, a headache that vanished in a flash when she realized just what she had to do. The sheer obviousness of the solution was staggering; she couldn’t believe she had missed out on it before. Damien. A resolute grin forming on her lips she turned to head back to the party.
<-[XXXXX]->
The first thing that Dash noticed as she went back to the party was that it seemed far too quiet for a Pinkie Pie Party. The second was the massive crowd of ponies in the middle of the room. Wondering what was going on she flew over and saw, to her surprise, Damien standing on a stool with the biggest grin she’d ever seen on a griffon’s face.
“-so the Dark Lord Shadow Mane is stuck in his own dungeon, being held at sword point by the princess he had captured. The hero that had come to save her is unconscious on the floor between them and Shadow Mane can’t muster the strength to cast another spell or even try to wrestle the sword from the princess. Then the princess pokes him with the sword and demands that he kidnap her again so she doesn’t have to go back to her boring etiquette classes! In the end the kidnapped princess has the once Dark Lord tied up and is dragging him off so he can ‘kidnap’ her again!” Damien regaled with a chuckle as the audience he had managed to acquire burst into laughter with him. He smiled as he saw how well his, slightly altered, stories were being received. Maybe he’d be able to get work as an entertainer! He basked in the happy feelings of a job well done as the audience dispersed, all except for one pony.
Damien cursed inwardly as he recognized the pony is question. “Ah, hello Miss Dash. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Yeah, for starters you can tell what’s up with Gilda,” the pegasus replied, her voice held no malice but was far from friendly.
“Not really sure. I met her in the Everfree and she offered to lead me to Ponyville when she found out I was headed there.” He smiled. “I was a bit lost.”
“Gilda offered to help you?” Dash asked incredulously.
“I assume there were underlying reasons other than altruism involved but yes. She offered to help me.”
Dash was silent for a moment. “You really don’t know anything about her do you?”
“Well I know she’s rude and brash. She is an extreme pessimist and holds all sentient life in the lowest regard. Quick to anger and has an impressive death glare. And she has a history with this town, you and Pinkie in particular if today was any indication.”
Dash was pleasantly surprised at how much Damien had already managed to figure out about Gilda. “That still doesn’t explain why she’s still here. She did just offer to show you the way to the town right?”
“Yes and that put me in her debt. Debts are either meant to be paid or used to keep track of who’s winning. Therefore I offered her a heavily discounted rate for renting out one of my spare rooms. She agreed that it was bound to be better than the nest she had in the Everfree so she accepted.”
Before Damien could continue Dash held up a hoof to stop him. “She had a nest in the Everfree? Like she was living there?”
“For quite some time if the general lived-in state of the nest is to be believed. When we reached the edge of the forest she paused, like she wasn’t sure she could leave. She also had already figured out how to enter the town in a low key manner and said she didn’t want to meet certain ponies yet.” Damien was taking a gamble here. This could either buy Gilda the time she needed to do… whatever it was she was trying to do or it could completely demolish her timetable.
Dash’s expression grew hard at the last sentence. “Do you know what she’s trying to do?”
Damien had to resist the urge to smile, there was a steel in this mare’s voice. A willingness to do whatever it took to make sure that whatever Gilda was planning wasn’t going to bring harm to her friends. Loyalty, he almost chuckled to himself, an admirable trait, both for its inherent uses as a virtue and for how easy it made it to manipulate people. “I have no idea what she wants from your or your town,” he admitted. “However since I am going to be living here I’m not going to let her do anything that would jeopardize what little peace I’ve managed to acquire. That sort of treachery is unforgivable. You have my word that nothing will happen to harm anyone here.”
Dash looked doubtful for a few moments before nodding curtly and swooping forward to jab Damien in the chest with a firm hoof. “Okay, but if anything happens to anypony I’ll make you regret it.”
Damien nodded with a smile to reassure Dash of his attentions. His smile turned to a grin as she flew off to raid a snack table. There’s nothing quite like the predictability of a virtuous soul after all.
<-[XXXXX]->
Lyra and Bon Bon watched as Rainbow Dash flew away from Damien, a look of grudging acceptance on her face.
“Well?” Lyra asked Bon Bon as they drew their heads together conspiratorially.
“I have no idea. I’m used to noticing if ponies are acting weird, not griffons,” Bon Bon responded with an exasperated sigh.
“But Luna’s message said the dimensional breach occurred over the forest and he apparently came out of the forest pretty soon after the breach was reported.”
“But he’s a griffon. Whenever anyone comes through the shield they are always turned into a pony. Always! He’s also actually speaking Equestrian. It was hard to tell since he isn’t a pony but the beak movements match up with what he’s saying. There’s no translation spell in place.”
“But he also apparently knew the layout of the town! He headed right for Pinkie Pie!”
“There are maps of Ponyville available if you look for them, and Pinkie is rather famous.”
“What about that story he told us? He said it was made up but-”
“He’s probably just a really good storyteller that likes to make up stories. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“What about the weird gaps in his knowledge? He didn’t know where to get residency. If he had been planning on moving here wouldn’t he have checked up on that beforehand?”
“That just shows that he doesn’t think things through. We need to get find something that would show he’s not from here if we wanted to take him in. All we have to go on right now is that he’s weird.” She rolled her eyes. “And weirdness is a little common here.”
“Fine, maybe it isn’t him but if it isn’t then what about the anomaly? They never happen without reason. Something always comes through them.”
“But it isn’t always something bad Lyra,” Bon Bon said as she looked pointedly at her friend. “Maybe he did come from somewhere else; maybe he isn’t really a griffon. We’ll just keep him under surveillance until we know for sure.” Her eyes became downcast before she continued, “and we’ll get a team to check the forest for anyone that might be out there. There’s a chance that whatever came through the anomaly didn’t survive or is lost out there.”
“I almost hope so. It always makes the situation so much easier to contain.” She saw the horrified look on Bon Bon’s face and quickly added, “I hope that they’re lost I mean. I wouldn’t want anyone to die just to make things easier for us.”
“I should hope so.” Her expression brightened. “Now let’s go and actually enjoy the party. It has been a whole week since Pinkies last party after all.”
<-[XXXXX]->
From behind another glass of Pinkie’s delicious punch Damien watched the two mares head towards a game of Pony, Pony, Pegasus with a satisfied smile. Apparently they didn’t realize just how sharp a griffon’s ears were, even before being magically enhanced.
So the princesses not only had a way to determining when someone entered their world unannounced but also had a group that specialized in dealing with such incursions. He drained the glass he held and quickly filled it back up, telling stories was always thirsty work after all. Of course so was eavesdropping and maniacal plotting but if asked he would just mention the storytelling. “Hey Pinkie,” he said to the empty air.
In the blink of an eye the party pony was at his side. “Yeah? Is something wrong with the party? Please tell me something’s not wrong with the party!” She gasped and flew into the air. “Something is wrong with the party isn’t there? Are there too many balloons? Not enough balloons? Oh! The STREAMERS!”
“No! No, the party is fine, great! Fantastic even! I haven’t had this much fun at a party in… Pit I don’t know but it’s amazing!” Damien quickly assured her. He could have sworn her fur had been darkening during her rant and had no desire to see what would have happened next.
“Oh!” she chirped as she returned to her cheery self. “Whatcha need?”
“Lyra and Bon Bon, they were talking about how they thought I had come from another universe. Why don’t they just ask you? Given your powers of observations and deduction it would seem like the sensible thing to do whenever something strange happens. You were able to sense my scryings before I got here and recognized me even though we had never met after all.”
“Oh that’s easy peasy. I’m not supposed to know about it! Lyra and Bon Bon do such a good job of hiding things all the time and I can’t just go around telling everypony their secrets! I even made a Pinkie Promise with myself that I wouldn’t ruin everything they worked so hard for.” She grinned happily at the bemused expression on Damien’s face.
“I… see…” he said slowly. “Thank you for your time Pinkie. I appreciate the help.”
“Okie Dokie Loki!” she exclaimed as she bounced off to join in a game of Twister.
“But how to deal with this?” Damien muttered to himself as he swirled the glass of punch in his talon. “I could always go and tell them what I am, or was, directly… but I don’t know how they deal with outsiders here. They did seem to hint at a chance that some might end up staying and living here peacefully but do I want to take the risk of being sent back? I suppose no one would recognize me as a griffon so I’d probably get a couple years to reestablish my power before everyone started trying to kill me again.” He drained the glass and stared into it. “On the other hand I could just ignore them and continue on with my original plans. Become a well enough established individual that my sudden disappearance would at least bring attention to the wrong people. Prove that I am capable of living here peacefully and without incident.” He smiled. “Yes. That will work beautifully. I’ll even get to have fun leading them on. Besides, it’s not like they even asked me whether or not I used to be human.” He chuckled to himself happily as he headed off to see what other games there were to play.
Damien woke with the rising sun the next morning whether he wanted to or not.
“Pit damned sun princess magic!” he cursed as glared at the rising orb. “Don’t get how a world with so many magic users can’t sense that spell every morning.” He continued to glare at the sun for a few more moments before turning away and giving it a quick one talon salute. It was juvenile but it made him feel a little better. “First wards I put on this house are going to completely cancel out all spell noise,” he vowed as he headed down the stairs.
He took in the meticulously clean living room in one long sweep. Apparently Pinkie had cleaned up after the party like she had promised, if anything the place was probably cleaner than it had been the day before. His eyes lingered on the locked front door, the door with bolt lock that could only be set from the outside with one of the two keys only he possessed. He shook his head as he resolutely stomped that train of thought out. There was nothing to be gained from speculating on Pinkie’s actions. In the end he would just blame it all on whatever magic she seemed to command.
He was halfway to his kitchen when he remembered that there was nothing in the house to eat. It was his own fault, he supposed. Grocery shopping would have been a good idea but he had wanted to get home quickly. This just meant he would have to shift his plans around a little. Getting some actual money would have to be shunted to the top of the list. Unfortunately taking the place of heading to the library and finding all the books he could on local history and whatever other useful topics he could find. Scrying an entire world for a year can only get you so much information after all and he would have to learn as much as he could if he wanted to really mess with Lyra and Bon Bon.
On the topic of money he still hadn’t hammered out just how much Gilda was going to be paying in rent. He had promised it would be discounted but with no idea what constituted a standard rate he hadn’t the slightest idea what kind of discount to give her.
Although…. Was Gilda a virgin? She already thought he was crazy so if he demanded some vials of blood in exchange for room and board he wouldn’t have to worry about actual numbers when it came to the rent and he would have a steady source of fresh blood for his more difficult spells. He smiled contentedly as he looked over his plan for flaws. This would work out perfectly. Or it would as long as she agreed to it of course. Even if she wasn’t a virgin fresh blood willingly given would be a wonderful tool. Unfortunately people tended to be unreasonably attached to their blood for some reason.
It would probably be a while before he would get to ask her about it though. He doubted that many people would be up at this ungodly hour. Making sure that his satchel was at his side and that it still had everything he had put in it, a good fifteen minute process, he opened the door and walked out to meet his first day as a citizen of Ponyville.
Only to be knocked back into his house as a cross-eyed pegasus slammed into him and sent them both sprawling onto the ground.
Don’t kill her. She didn’t do it on purpose. There aren't any herpes trying to kill you here. This is not an attack. Killing people would only get him in trouble here and he was in no way prepared for the trouble a simple murder would bring for him. With these and other such happy thoughts buzzing in his head he scrambled back to his feet and helped the grey pegasus to hers.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” she apologized as she studied her hooves ashamedly.
“No… It’s okay. I can handle a little crash now and then,” he reassured her. “Do you have mail for me or something? I’m surprised someone already knows my address.”
“Oh! Right! The letter!” She paused as she rummaged around in her mailbags. In a surprisingly short time considering the chaos that was her mailbag she pulled out a bright pink envelope and presented it to him.
“Pinkie?” he asked as he took the letter gingerly.
“Yep!”
“Of course. Thank you for your hard work my dear.”
Smiling contentedly at the passing praise Derpy leapt into the sky and headed for her next stop, narrowly missing a tree in the neighbor’s yard.
Seeing that the mailmare was managing just fine Damien took to the air himself, flying low along the ground as he sliced open his letter. The first thing he saw upon unfolding the piece of paper in the envelope was a grinning picture of Pinkie Pie herself gesturing to the words ‘Pinkie’s After-party Questionnaire!’ Beneath the title was a long list of multiple choice questions about the perceived quality and enjoyment of last night’s party. Damien couldn’t help but grin as he looked over some of the questions. His grin grew as he saw a number of questions related to how he would receive parties catering to slightly older individuals including a list of his favorite mixed drinks and more risqué party games. Not having a quill or ink available Damien simply used his talons to poke holes in the appropriate spheres. If the questionnaire was any indication of their quality he would certainly have to try to be invited to some more of Pinkie’s parties.
<-[XXXXX]->
It wasn’t long after he had finished filling out Pinkie’s questionnaire that he swooped into the market. Despite the early hour there were already several stalls in the process of setting up and preparing their goods for sale. Damien smiled at the familiar sights. Equestria may be very very different from home but it was good to see that some things remained constant. He flared his wings and dropped down to the ground with a dull thud, startling the two ponies setting up a stand immensely.
“Mornin’ boys. Mind if ask you for some directions?” he asked amicably as he stifled a chuckle at the looks on their faces.
Understandably it took a moment for them to respond, it’s not every day that a griffon just drops out of the sky and lands right in front of you. After a few seconds of just gaping at Damien the blue stallion managed to gather his wits. “Sure thing, Damien right? Met you at the party last night.”
Damien chuckled and nodded. “And you would be Noteworthy.” He turned to the scarlet stallion. “And Burnt Oak right?”
Noteworthy nodded. “Got it in one. I’m surprised you remembered our names. Pinkie must’ve introduced you to dozens of ponies last night.”
Damien tapped the side of his head meaningfully. “Got a very good memory for names and faces. Anyway, I don’t have any of local currency but I do have a couple gold bars. Any idea on where I would be able to get rid of them?”
Burnt Oak looked at him suspiciously. “You’re not talking about anything illegal are you?”
“Gates no! I just need to know if you have any moneychangers or the like that could turn my assets into spendable money. Didn’t have access to anyone that would give me bits back home so I converted my fortune to solid gold and resolved to work it out later.”
Burnt Oak continued to look at Damien suspiciously until his friend poked him in the side. Hard. “Sorry about that Damien. Oak can get a little suspicious at times. You’re going to want to go to the bank. Just head down that street and take the third left.” He gestured down a road leading away from the market. “It’ll be the fifth building on the right, can’t miss it.”
Damien smiled and thanked both of the stallions for their help before taking wing again.
<-[XXXXX]->
An hour and a half later Damien was walking out of the Ponyville bank with a large supply of bits in his satchel and even more in an account he had just finished setting up. The ponies would actually pay him to let them hold onto his money! He shook his head happily at the concept for what felt like the thousandth time today. It was like investing in a merchant or trade venture with much lower rewards and near zero risk. Equestria truly was interesting. A rumbling stomach quickly reminded him of what he had originally wanted the money for in the first place.
He closed his eyes in an attempt to remember where the various restaurants were in Ponyville and what they served. As he slowly drew up blank after blank as to what was on the menu of every restaurant in town he cursed his lack of foresight on the matter. Why had he spent so much time observing the culture, language, and general mindset of the place instead of making sure he’d be able to eat anyway? It was amazing how little things like making sure he could fit in mattered when one was as hungry as he was at the moment.
He grumbled to himself as his gaze flashed back and forth along the streets irritably. Most restaurants probably just served pony food, hay and flowers. Sure he wasn’t expecting meat or fish but he had to make sure he got at least something comparable to a good spinach casserole. His eyes suddenly widened in glee as remembered what he had been doing before he had headed to the bank. The questionnaire! The questionnaire that he had to return to Pinkie! Pinkie who lived just above a sweet shop and bakery!
He ran his tongue over his beak as he took to the air imagining the sort of sugary delights that awaited him. Maybe Pinkie’d even give him a freebie for returning the questionnaire!
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien swept into Sugarcube Corner with a grin, a bag full of bits, and a stomach full of empty. “Greetings! I demand sustenance and will pay most handsomely for your assistance!” he nearly shouted with a flourish.
Inside the bakery he wasn’t greeted by an enthusiastic response of Pinkie’s but the confused stares of Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
“Huh. I was expecting Pinkie.”
“Oh, you must be that griffon she was talking about. Damien right?” Mrs. Cake asked.
“That be me. I was hoping to get some breakfast stuff. No food at home.”
“Then you came to the right place.” Mrs. Cake smiled as she gathered up a large selection of danishes, cinnamon rolls, and donuts. “Will this be enough?”
Damien’s eyes glittered as she surveyed the food she had gathered. “Gates yes! It looks fantastic! How much?”
“Ten bits. Will you be eating them here or no?”
After a quick glance behind him to make sure that he wasn’t holding up any lines Damien smiled and forked over a ten bit piece. “I’m eating these right here and now.”
<-[XXXXX]->
As Damien finally started eating his long awaited breakfast another griffon was taking other important steps of the day.
Gilda yawned hugely as she stretched and looked blearily around her. The room looked familiar but where was she? She groaned as memories of last night came to her in full force. “Right. The stupid party kept me up all night. Damn ponies don’t know how to be quiet,” she grumbled to herself. Still grumbling she wandered into the halls in search of one of the bathrooms. After taking care of some important business she found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror.
“Okay. I got this far but now what?” she asked her reflection angrily. “I’ve been planning this thing forever! Why can’t I figure out what to do next? Why can’t those loser ponies just make this easy for themselves!?” she raged at the mirror.
The mirror remained silent of course. But sometimes silence is just what someone needs.
“Because I just expected it to all work out right? Figured they would all just come right to me and apologize. And they should! I didn’t do anything wrong!” She paused for a moment as she saw that her feathers were beginning to get ruffled up. Combined with a nasty case of bedfeathers she looked like a mess. She couldn’t go outside like this. Go outside. How could she go outside? Yesterday she had an excuse to be in Ponyville. Yesterday Damien was her fall guy. She doubted that she’d get him to cover for her forever. Not that she needed help of course! She could do anything if she put her mind to it! She just… didn’t feel like it at the moment.
In an attempt to divert her mind from that and similar subjects Gilda got to work preening her feathers and attempting to straighten herself out. Menial and repetitive though the process might be it was a soothingly familiar action that helped her calm down. A calmness that lasted only as long as it took for her to notice that someone was knocking on the door.
She tried her best to ignore it but the knocking just kept coming. “Hey freak! Someone’s at the door!” she yelled into the hall in an unknowingly pointless attempt to rouse Damien. When she received no answer she headed for the stairs with a scowl that could curdle milk.
“What do you want?” she growled as she threw the door open.
“Oh! Sorry but is Damien here? He expressed some interest in meeting up for a study session and when he didn’t show up I thought he might have slept in.”
Gilda glared at the visitor as her mind slowly processed the image of the unicorn before her. Purple coat, purple and pink hair, dweeb. “Oh hey, you’re one of Dash’s friends aren’t you?” she finally asked as the pieces started to click together.
The unicorn looked surprised at for a moment before responding. “Yes! I’m Twilight Sparkle. And you’re… Gilda right? Dash told me about you.”
“Good things?” Gilda asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Ummmm…” Twilight’s eyes shifted back and forth. “Damien!” she nearly shouted. “You never said if he was here or not!”
Gilda glared at the unicorn for a few moments before responding, “that bad huh?”
Twilight winced at the griffon’s deadpan tone. “Well not… that bad. Just… kinda… not that good,” she mumbled as she stared down at her hooves.
“Whatever.” Gilda waved a claw. “Don’t think the freak is here. Shouted for him to open the door and he didn’t do anything.” She paused for a moment. “You can come in and check for yourself if you want.” Not waiting for an answer she headed off to the kitchen in search of food.
Twilight shuffled her hooves awkwardly on the doorstep for a few moments before following Gilda into the house. As she headed up the stairs she couldn’t help but remember the conversations she’d had with Dash about Gilda during the party. Dash had seemed so angry that night. But she had also looked sad and hurt. In any case Gilda hadn’t seemed to be anywhere near as bad as Dash had been making her out to be. A little short tempered maybe but not horrible.
A quick check of the upstairs confirmed that Damien wasn’t still sleeping and was unlikely to still be in the house. Had he forgotten the appointment at the library? Before she could follow this train of thought any further she was interrupted by an angry screech coming from the first floor. Gilda! She turned and raced towards the stairs at a gallop, calling her magic to the ready in case something had happened.
Twilight burst into the kitchen expecting to find chaos, destruction, or some other disaster. What she found instead was a very angry griffon belting out an impressive stream of curses at an empty refrigerator. Twilight felt her face redden as the curses continued to their crescendo and eventually dissipated.
“I-is something wrong?” she managed to ask as she got as close as she dared to the angry griffon.
“There’s no food anywhere in this damn kitchen!”
“Well I guess that makes sense. You only moved in here yesterday and you didn’t-” her mouth snapped shut as she saw the death glare Gilda was shooting her way. “Sorry,” she squeaked.
Gilda sighed and tried to assume a slightly more friendly appearance. “Nah, just hungry. I’ll have to go find something else.” She suppressed a twinge of apprehension as the idea of heading out into town reared its ugly head again.
“Ummm, you could come to the library with me,” Twilight offered tentatively. “Spike is going to make extra waffles for Damien when he shows up. Since he never did…” Twilight’s voice trailed off as she looked at Gilda expectantly.
Gilda was stunned by the sudden invitation. This was just what she needed. An excuse to head out into town. If Dash or any other loser ponies got mad she could just blame Twilight. But why was the unicorn making the offer anyway? She had to be playing some sort of secret game, but what? In the end Gilda’s stomach made the entire mental exchange pointless by protesting loudly at the idea of not receiving waffles. “Fine, whatever,” she grunted in acceptance of Twilight’s invitation.
“Excellent! Let’s go,” Twilight said happily as she left the house. She suppressed a small smile of triumph as she noticed Gilda following hesitantly behind her. She really didn’t seem to be as bad as Dash had made her out to be and even that might just be because she had lost a friend. She knew she would be miserable if she lost any of her friends. Gilda probably just needed to be given a chance. Maybe Twilight could even repair Dash and Gilda’s friendship! Twilight’s thoughts continued in this manner with a poorly hidden glee all the way to the library.
Damien was in a good mood, he would even go so far as to say he was in an exceptionally good mood. Despite being only two hours into the day he was having a blast. Being woken by that thrice damned sun princess’s magic was annoying but still far better than being woken by someone trying to break into your house. He now had money to spend and if the treats he had gotten at Sugarcube Corner were any indication he had plenty of things he would be happy to spend it on. The only damper to his mood was the fact that he was now behind schedule. He had originally planned to stop by the library over an hour ago and was just now heading there. Hopefully Sparkle wouldn’t be too disappointed. It was just an informal schedule after all.
He landed in front of the library and stopped to admire it for a few moments. The ponies here might be showy and, in his mind, crude when it came to using their prodigious magical strength but sometimes they managed some truly amazing things. With a hopeful smile on his face at the thought of all the potentially useful and exploitable knowledge he was sure to uncover he opened the front door.
His smile quickly turned to a look of bemusement, then shifted slowly to glee as he surveyed the scene before him. Before any of the unfortunate individuals in front of him could say anything his talons whipped up in front of his face, forming a square that focused on them. He quickly barked several harsh syllables that a normal griffon throat would be hard pressed to emulate. As soon as the words faded there was bright glow from the square his talons made followed by a blinding flash. When it dimmed a small piece of paper phased into existence between his talons and started to fall to the ground. He quickly snatched it out of the air and turned it towards his audience. “Best day ever,” he declared as they stared in horror at the picture he now held out for their perusal.
The screams of rage and embarrassment could be heard all the way in Canterlot.
<-[XXXXX]->
“So why did you decide to come to Ponyville with Damien?” Twilight asked Gilda as they made their way to the library. Unfortunately her question was met with the same stubborn silence as every other question she had tried to pose to her stoic griffon companion. Twilight sighed into the silence and rolled her eyes. It shouldn’t be this hard to get someone to talk! She’d tried everything she could think of during their short trip and nothing had worked at all! She had even been tempted to bring up the subject of Rainbow Dash but even she could see that nothing good lay down that conversation path. Thankfully the awkward silence was soon broken as they reached their destination. “Come on in,” she said as she opened the library door.
“Hey Twilight, did you find Damien?” Spike asked as he saw her walk through the door. “Cause I wanna know if I’m gonna use this batter or not.”
“I didn’t find Damien but I found Gilda. Apparently they don’t have any food so I invited her over for breakfast.”
“Gilda?” Spike asked as he looked over Twilight’s shoulder to see that griffon entering the library. “Are you sure about this?” he whispered.
“It’ll be fine Spike, I’m sure Dash was just exaggerating things,” she reassured her assistant.
“Alright… but I’m keeping my eye on her.”
Gilda contemplated telling them that she could hear the entire exchange, but kept her tongue when her stomach reminded her about the free breakfast.
Twilight returned from her conversation with Spike and sat down on one of the chairs that decorated the library. “Spike’s going to get started on the waffles right now. Would you like to sit down?” she asked as she gestured towards one of the chairs.
Gilda was quiet for a moment before taking a seat with a mumbled “thanks.”
Twilight smiled uncertainly into the uncomfortable silence that permeated the room. She had exhausted every conversation topic that she had felt safe broaching to the stoic griffon. Her mind raced as it went through every possibility and tried to calculate every variable. In the back of her mind a voice whispered to her, you can’t even get a conversation started with her. You must not have been taking your studies in friendship very seriously. Princess Celestia would be so disappointed if she could see you right now. Failing. No! There had to be some way to get her to open up! There had to be! Twilight’s eyes gleamed as she made her choice. It was all or nothing.
“Have you made up with Rainbow Dash yet?” she asked innocently.
Gilda stiffened up immediately at Dash’s name. After several moments she finally managed to respond. “No. Dash hasn’t made up with me yet.”
Twilight forced down a smile at the fact that Gilda had finally spoken. Unfortunately she missed just how Gilda had worded her response. “Really? That’s too bad. She was talking about you a lot last night. I thought you two would have tried to meet up as soon as you could.”
“Last night!?” Gilda screeched.
“Yeah, she said she saw you at the party and-”
“She saw me at the party?!” Gilda was in shock. Everything was falling apart right in front of her eyes! Running into Pinkie Pie had been bad enough, at least that pink moron would probably forgot all about seeing anyone if you waved something shiny in her face but Dash! Dash wouldn’t forget seeing her! She’d have to go back to the forest. Hide again. Wait for things to calm back down. Her eyes narrowed. This was all Damien’s fault. If he had never shown up she would have been able to go at her own pace. He was making things just keep going and going until they were out of control.
“Gilda? Are you alright?” Twilight asked tentatively.
“No! Dash wasn’t supposed to know I was in town yet!” she raged. “I was supposed to… to…” Gilda seemed to deflate. “I don’t know.”
“Gilda?”
“I don’t know alright!? I’ve been planning and planning and planning! But NOTHING WORKS!” she screamed. “Why can’t anything go my way!?” she raged at Twilight, the edges of her eyes misting slightly.
Twilight leaned back in shocked silence. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting from Gilda but an emotional breakdown was not what she had in mind. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what to do with an emotionally distraught griffon. She mentally went through every book on psychology she had read. Her face sank as she realized that she was going over every book on pony psychology she had read. She had never read anything on griffon psychology! Would that make a difference? She awkwardly raised a hoof and placed it on Gilda’s back in what she hopped was a reassuring manner.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Gilda screamed as she threw the hoof off her shoulder. “I DON’T NEED YOU! I DON’T…. I don’t need anyone…”
<-[XXXXX]->
Pinkie was running her weekly new pony rounds when she heard the shouting. At first she thought the Crusaders were up to their usual antics when she recognized the voice. Gilda. Her eyes narrowed. She had never gotten that promise from her about apologizing. Her ears swiveled back and forth as she tried to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. There wouldn’t be any parties to distract her today. Her ears snapped into the direction of the library as another shout. Found her. With a determined grimace Pinkie charged towards the library.
<-[XXXXX]->
“Gilda if you could just-”
“NO! None of you ponies can understand! You’re all the same! You hate us all!”
“We don’t hate you Gilda it’s just-”
“Just what?! Pinkie throws a ‘Let’s Make Fun of Gilda’ party! Then Dash abandons me! I have NO ONE because of you ponies!”
“Please just calm down and-”
“I am calm you dweeb! I am the calmest griffon in this entire bucking town!”
It was at this point that things started to go downhill.
“Why are you yelling at Twilight Gilda McMeaniepants!?” Pinkie demanded as she burst through the library door.
“YOU!” Gilda raged as she turned to the pink pony. “This is all YOUR fault! Dash! Damien! EVERYTHING!”
“Nuh-uh! It’s your fault for being a Meanie McAngrygriffon!” Pinkie retorted.
Gilda’s eyes seemed awash with fury as she reared up to charge Pinkie.
Thinking fast Twilight summoned her magic and grabbed hold of the irate griffon. “Spike! We need your help out here!”
Gilda strained against Twilight’s magic as she tried to make her way towards Pinkie. “All. Your. Fault,” she growled as she started gaining inches on Pinkie.
“No it isn’t! You just need to apologize to everypony and everything will work out!” Pinkie declared adamantly.
“Not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong,” Gilda began to almost chant under her breath as Twilight’s magic strengthened its grip.
“What’s going on out Here?” Spike cried as he rushed into the room still carrying the bowl of waffle batter.
“Spike! Get Pinkie out of here!” Twilight shouted to her assistant.
“R-Right!” he responded as he dropped the batter bowl to the ground, thankfully without spilling it, and rushed towards Pinkie. “Pinkie, you really really.” He glanced over his should at Gilda who seemed to be steaming. “really need to leave right now.”
“Not until she promises that she’ll apologize to everypony,” Pinkie declared adamantly. Having said her piece she leapt towards the enraged griffon.
Unfortunately even though Pinkie oftentimes manages to ignore the basic laws of physics other beings aren’t quite so lucky. Gilda was currently trying to move forward as fast as she could. Twilight was exerting an equal force in the opposite direction to keep her from moving. Pinkie was moving as fast as she could towards Gilda. At the moment of collision Gilda lost her footing, reducing one of these three forces to nothing.
Twilight barely had time to recognize what was going on before the combined griffon pony ball smashed into her, sending all three rolling along the floor, the floor that had a large bowl of batter sitting on it. The end result was a semi-conscious pile of quadrupeds covered in batter. The image would not be complete, however, without mentioning the relative positioning of each individual in the pile. Suffice to say that, in accordance to Finagle’s Law, each individual found themselves waking up to the opportunity to examine another’s nether regions in extreme detail.
Of course in the universe’s continuing adherence to Finagle’s Law it was just then that Damien decided to enter the library.
<-[XXXXX]->
“And you’re sure you weren’t doing anything?” Damien asked the room at large for the thirteenth time in twice as many minutes.
“YES!” came the resounding reply from around the room. The offending picture had been shredded, incinerated, and the ashes spread to the winds. Pinkie had been sequestered to one wall of the library while Gilda had been likewise banished to the other. Any attempt at movement towards the other was met with swift and brutal justice at Damien’s balled talons or Twilight’s magic. Twilight and Damien worked on cleaning up the mess that had been made of the library. Damien working on cleaning the books with a spell Twilight had never seen before, Twilight cleaning up the floors and walls, and Spike in his usual position as master reshelver.
“I’m just sayin’ that I wouldn’t blame any of ya for doing something like that. Wouldn’t be the first time I’d seen anger give way to lust.” He smiled to himself as he drifted into the one of his more pleasant memories.
“I don’t even want to know how you know that,” Gilda said with a shudder.
“Well since no one wants to hear stories about me.” The entire library nodded in agreement. “Why don’t we go with what happened here. How exactly did you three end up like that if not by being driven mad by uncontrollable lust?”
Twilight, despite her luminescent blush, was the first to speak up. “I was holding Gilda back from Pinkie. Pinkie tackled Gilda. We all went flying into the wall and into the waffle batter. End of story.”
Damien looked disappointed at her retelling of the events. “Ten out of ten for informativeness but a flat zero for style.” His head snapped over to where Pinkie was standing. “No moving from your wall!” he barked.
Pinkie jumped and returned to standing at attention in front of her wall.
Twilight sighed as she glanced over at Gilda who wasn’t even bothering to hide her chuckle at Pinkie’s misfortune. “We need to stop this from happening again. I don’t want to have to worry about finding out that Pinkie and Gilda are mauling each other in the marketplace every day.”
“Do we have to?” Damien asked unashamedly. “I’ve been wanting to see them go at it since the first time I saw how they reacted to each other.” He chuckled at Twilight’s glare. “I would’ve healed them afterwards. Don’t want it to be a one time entertainment after all.”
“You are incorrigible,” Twilight said exhaustedly as she finished mopping up the last of the batter.
“And that’s one of my good qualities,” Damien smirked as he finished up with the books. “Mind if I start my studying binge? I need a good detailed history book.”
“How detailed?” Twilight asked as her eyes lit up with glee.
“As detailed as it gets?” Damien ventured hesitantly.
With a squeal of glee Twilight rushed upstairs and soon returned with a book as thick as her neck and twice the size of her head. “This is ‘Colton’s History of the World’. Unabridged of course,” she said with a smile as she thunked the massive book onto the ground in front of Damien.
Damien’s eyes widened in shock as he stared at the book before him. “This… This… This is beautiful!” he whispered as he ran a claw reverently down the cover.
“I know! I got it as a birthday gift from Princess Celestia! I don’t know how anypony manages to study history without it!”
Damien carefully opened the book and began reading, his eyes flicking back and forth over the pages. “This is perfect!” he crowed as he turned the page.
Satisfied that she had found the perfect book for her customer Twilight turned her attention to her captives. “Now we’re going to work out whatever problems you have. You can leave your walls but if you try anything I’ll sic him on you.” She pointed at Damien in the same manner one would a particularly dangerous guard animal.
He smiled and waved at them.
They nodded hesitantly, not sure what exactly Damien would do to stop them but relatively certain they didn’t want to be part of it. The tension in the air was palpable as they drew closer to each other and met in the middle of the room.
Seeing their acquiescence Twilight happily clapped her hooves together. “Excellent! Now we can get started!” As she said this she levitated several large books from a nearby shelf. She smiled as the first of these, ‘A Simple Guide to Working Through Problems’, floated in front of her and the pages began to turn rapidly.
Gilda looked on in confusion at first and then exasperation as she realized what was going on. “You’re not really going to try and fix us with a book right?”
Twilight didn’t even bother to look up from the book. “Of course I am! There is a book for everything after all.”
“Nerd,” muttered Gilda to herself.
“Hey! Don’t call Twilight a nerd! She’s…” Pinkie stopped momentarily as she pondered her response. “Oh, right. She is a nerd. Never mind. I just thought you were being mean again.”
“Okay!” Twilight said as the book snapped shut. “The first step to working out problems is to figure out why everyone is mad at each other.” She looked over to Gilda. “You first.”
“No.”
“Come on, please?”
“No.”
“Just tell her,” came Damien’s voice. “The fighting was amusing but this back and forth thing is going to get old fast.”
“I thought you were reading your book freak,” Gilda growled.
“I can do more than one thing at a time girl,” he said as he turned the page. “But that’s beside the point. I doubt our gracious host will let you leave until she’s made some level of progress with you and that sounds entertaining enough for me to help her with it.”
For some reason his words seemed to have an air of finality to them as he turned another page.
“Thank you Damien but I think I can handle Gilda and Pinkie,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes.
“Of course Miss Sparkle. Just trying to help.” He gave a polite nod in her direction and turned another page.
Twilight nodded curtly in response before turning back to Pinkie and Gilda. “Now Gilda, can you tell Pinkie why she makes you so mad?”
Gilda was silent for several moments. Why did Pinkie make her so mad? Did that dweeb really have to ask? She had already completely lost it here once and was she supposed to do that again? Was this just a stupid game to that loser unicorn?
“Gilda? Please, just say something,” Twilight asked softly.
Gilda glared at her. But the glare faltered as her eyes connected with Twilight’s. Despite everything that had happened Gilda just couldn’t bring herself to hate the unicorn. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and turned to Pinkie Pie. “You took Dash away from me. You took my oldest, best friend from me.” My only friend. “You ruined everything,” she hissed.
Pinkie was silent as she worked through what Gilda had said. Her mind went back to the last time Gilda had come to Ponyville. Gilda and Dash had been having fun with each other. But Gilda was a jerk! She stole the apple and scared Granny Smith and Fluttershy. Fluttershy! Nopony should scare Fluttershy! She’s way way waaaaaay too fragile. Pinkie had just been making sure that Dash knew what kind of a griffon Gilda was wasn’t she? It wasn’t her fault that they had stopped being friends. That Gilda hadn’t changed. Right?
Pinkie’s expression fell as she came to a realization. Even if Gilda was still a meanie. Even if she hadn’t changed. Even if Pinkie had been right and that Gilda wasn’t a good friend. Pinkie had done everything she could to try and make Dash see Gilda’s bad side. See that she shouldn’t be her friend anymore. Pinkie had done her best to destroy their friendship.
Meanwhile Gilda had stopped glaring at Pinkie and was looking towards Twilight. “This is pointless. I’m outta here.”
“But-”
“No! I don’t need you stupid ponies and I don’t need anything from her.” Gilda turned and started towards the door.
Twilight felt helpless. She could use her magic to stop Gilda but what would that prove? That she wouldn’t let Gilda leave until she agreed with her? She turned a pleading look to Damien who simply waved three claws in the air. Two claws. Twilight’s eyes widened when she realized what he was doing and turned back to Gilda, expecting to see some flashy spell stop her from leaving. She was totally unprepared for the soft voice that came from behind her.
“I’m sorry.”
Gilda froze, one talon resting on the doorknob. “What?”
“I’m sorry for ruining your friendship with Dash,” Pinkie said, louder this time.
“You think that’ll just make it better?” Gilda hissed.
“No. But I know that if you keep being such a meanie then Dashie won’t be your friend again,” Pinkie declared firmly. “I did what I could to show Dashie what you were really like and she didn’t like what she saw. It’s both our faults.”
“It’s not my fault! It’s all your fault! You made Dash hate me!”
Pinkie’s eyes hardened. “It’s both our faults,” she asserted. “You were a meanie to everypony and I was a meanie to you. I’m sorry for that but you still need to apologize to everypony and be a better griffon.”
Gilda’s wings started to twitch and her talons were tensing as she glared at Pinkie.
Pinkie didn’t rise to the challenge and remained stony eyed but off guard.
Twilight stood off to the side, her magic at the ready in case Gilda tried anything.
“You think you can tell me what to do dweeb?” Gilda growled.
“I think she can,” Damien called out from the sidelines.
Gilda’s glare snapped to him. “What do you know freak!? You don’t know anything!”
Damien turned to face her, that insufferable smile on his face. “I know that she’s still friends with Dash while you aren’t. I know that she just apologized for her transgressions and wants to make things right. I know that you want to be with your friend again. I know that if you play your cards right these two will help you.” He cocked his head to the side and his smile grew. “Isn’t that what you want? You don’t even have to really care about them; just use them long enough to get what you want. Dash’s friendship. Or does her friendship mean so little to you that you can’t even work with a couple of ponies in order to get it back? Are you that weak and lacking in dedication?”
“I’ll show you weak!” she roared as she leapt through the air towards him.
He didn’t even blink as he spun up off the ground and slammed the back of his clenched talon into Gilda’s face. Before she knew it she was sprawled on the floor and her ears were ringing. “Thank you for the demonstration of weakness girl. Now if you truly wish to prove me wrong then win back your friend and keep her. Or will you fail like you did against me?”
Gilda slowly proper herself up, her ears still ringing and her vision blurry. “I’m not weak. I’m not.”
“Damien! What did you do that for?!” Twilight shouted as she ran to Gilda’s side to help her up. Gilda was so out of it that she didn’t protest at all.
“Old technique for training animals. You’re the carrot. I’m the stick.” He cracked his knuckles ominously. “I think she might be a little more willing to hear you out now.”
Twilight merely glared at Damien. “Come on Gilda. Let’s get you into the kitchen, I have some medical supplies in there.” She turned to Pinkie. “Help me get her there okay?”
“Right!”
With Pinkie’s help the two mares managed to get Gilda into the kitchen whereupon Twilight immediately got to work on casting a spell to see what damage Damien had done to Gilda.
Silence reigned in the kitchen for several terse moments until Gilda finally spoke up. “Was he right?”
With Twilight concentrating on the spell it fell to Pinkie to answer. “Of course not! You may be a meanie but you’re still really strong!”
“No… not that.” I am weak. “Was he right that… that you’d help me be friends with Dash again?” She couldn’t believe she was asking this. She was better than this! Better than them!
“Hold this there,” Twilight said as she levitated an ice pack to the side of Gilda’s face. “This should help prevent swelling and your concussion should go away shortly.”
Gilda grudgingly reached up to secure the ice pack. It must just be the concussion that was making her act like this. That must be it.
“You wanna be Dash’s friend again?” Pinkie asked.
“Yeah.”
“Really?
“Yes.”
“Really really really?”
Gilda gave Pinkie the best glare she could under the circumstances.
“Okie dokie then! Twilight and me’ll help you be friends with Dashie again! She was soooo sad the day after you left and I bet this’ll make her super-duper happy!”
Gilda raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Weeeeelllllll if you’re going to become Dashie’s friend again you’ll need to be a nicer griffon! And if you become a nicer griffon you’ll get more friends! Then everypony will be even happier because they have another friend!”
“I don’t need to be nicer. I just need Dash to like me again.”
“And you’ll do that by proving that you can be nice!”
“No I won’t."
“Yes you will.”
Twilight sighed as she saw the back and forth exchange that was building before her eyes. With a roll of her eyes she trotted back into the library’s main room. “Did you know that would happen?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about my dear,” Damien replied with his best innocent face.
“You completely crushed and humiliated her. She probably thinks that she can’t go any lower than she is right now.”
“And thusly has no problem acknowledging that she might actually need help,” Damien finished with a smile.
“So you did all that on purpose?”
“I do everything on purpose. Of course I’ll only admit to it when it actually works.” He smiled. “That girl is going to be a real handful you know.”
“You’re the one that’s living with her.”
“But I get to leave and do other things. It’s pretty much fallen to you two to actually deal with her.” His face gained a slight shade of concern. “As long as she recognizes that you two will be useful to her in her attempts to get Dash back she shouldn’t cause any real trouble but if anything does happen let me know.”
“So you can punch her again?”
“Now you’re getting it.”
The pair looked back to the kitchen where they could hear Gilda chasing Pinkie around yelling about how she wasn’t going to be nice and Pinkie was declaring the opposite.
“-and thank you for the meal Ms. Sparkle. My compliments to the chef,” Damien said as he and Gilda left the library.
“I’ll let Spike know you liked it,” Twilight responded with a smile.
The day had gone rather smoothly after Pinkie and Gilda had made peace, giving Twilight and Damien several hours to discuss Equestrian history, folklore, and superstition. Twilight had been leery of the second and downright opposed to the third but Damien had insisted. She had been skeptical about the practical use of any of these things and Damien couldn’t fault her that. The unicorn magic systems seemed to be much more reliant on fact and procedure than tradition and belief. He smiled wickedly at that. He loved having an advantage that others didn’t understand completely and it seemed his brand of magic was a complete unknown in Equestria.
Gilda’s time in the library had been a good deal less productive, a given since she was working with Pinkie of all ponies, but she had gained a good deal as well. As soon as Pinkie had decided that Gilda was sincere in her desire to be friends with Rainbow Dash and had elicited a half-heated promise to apologize to everyone she had been mean to someday she had started treating Gilda like an old friend. Not even Gilda’s angry nature was able to fully withstand the barrage of sheer happiness that was Pinkie on a good day.
“You know, I think I almost saw you crack a smile back there in the library,” Damien said conversationally as they headed to the market to pick up groceries.
“Yeah right. You were probably just seeing things,” Gilda huffed as she ruffled her wings.
“I was seeing things. Namely you almost smiling.”
Gilda glared at him.
Damien laughed again. “Don’t be so sour my dear girl. It was a good look for you. Almost made ya look cute.”
Gilda blinked in confusion at this before managing to gather her wits. “I am not cute,” she growled.
“Not right now no but you have it in you. Really really deep down.”
Gilda gave him a flat look. “Are you trying to flirt with me?”
Damien looked surprised at the accusation, a look that quickly changed to thoughtfulness. “I suppose I am. Been quite a long time since I could be so relaxed around anyone.”
Gilda cocked an eyebrow at this.
“Not quite like that my dear. You are still far too abrasive for me to ever consider you a viable love interest. That and there’s the whole I don’t respect you as an equal thing. It’s just that everyone here is either weak or too good natured to be a threat. I haven’t been able to leave my house without someone or something trying to kill me in centuries! Meeting new people generally ended with me ordering the groundskeeper to dig a new grave. Everyone either feared or hated me.” His voice dropped and his face darkened. “The only surviving friend I had died five years ago. She was tired. Tired of living the way people like us did, tired of the running and fighting, the hiding and scheming. Tired of the fear and weariness.” A grim smile. “But she went out with a bang. Took down every single noble in an empire older than I am and reduced their greatest armies to a heap of broken bones and bloody flesh. A truly amazing woman.”
Gilda felt herself involuntarily shudder as Damien spoke. It was the same feeling as when he had threatened her in the clearing, a feeling that whoever or whatever Damien is wasn’t something to be trifled with. “You’re making that up,” Gilda said far more quickly than she meant to.
In a flash Damien the unfathomable monster was gone and Damien the freak was standing in the road again. “Perhaps I am, perhaps I’m not. You’ll just have to decide that one for yourself.” He chuckled and walked over to a nearby stall to look at the produce on display.
Gilda was left in the street wondering what exactly to do. Most of the advice Pinkie had given her about becoming friends with Dash again seemed to have boiled down to being nice to ponies. Or as she had put it ‘stop being such a meanie silly!’
She grimaced as she looked around the market. Did that pink loser really expect he to play nice with all these ponies? Griffons did not play nice. Damien does and look at him, some treacherous part of her mind whispered as Damien chatted up the pony at the carrot cart. The two were laughing easily as Damien inspected the carrots. “He’s just a freak,” she muttered to herself, a sentiment that was only reinforced when he dumped several large carrots into his tiny satchel where they vanished without a trace.
“G-Gilda?” a voice asked from behind her.
Gilda turned to the speaker ready to yell at them when Pinkie’s admonishing words echoed in her mind. Nice. Right. I can do that. If these loser ponies can do it there’s no way I can fail. “Yeah, that’s me. What do you want?” she asked curtly. Not exactly the paragon of niceness but a good deal better than what she was originally going to say.
“Ummm, you… you don’t recognize me?” the yellow pegasus asked timidly.
Gilda narrowed her eyes at the pegasus. Yellow coat, pink mane, annoyingly trying to hide behind oh sweet Orion it was Fluttershy! “Fluttershy?” Gilda asked hesitantly.
“Y-yes,” she squeaked.
Gilda couldn’t believe she hadn’t recognized Fluttershy. The two of them had never been close by any means but when someone helps bandage you and your flight buddy up every other day you should learn to recognize them. “It’s… it’s been a while,” Gilda said awkwardly. “I haven’t seen you for years.”
“A-actually…” Fluttershy’s voice trailed off into an indistinguishable mumble.
Gilda’s eyes widened as she remembered something Pinkie had said the in the bakery when they had first run into each other. ‘Not until you promise to apologize to Fluttershy and Dashie and everypony you were a meanie to’ she had said. She had mentioned Fluttershy. Last time she had been here she had done something to Fluttershy. “I… didn’t happen to run into you last time I was here… did I?” she asked hopefully.
“W-well, I kinda bumped into you and, um, you may have… yelled at me… a little.” She hid even further behind her mane if such a thing were possible.
Gilda closed her eyes as the memories came flooding back. The yellow pony that had bumped into her at the market last time, the one that she had yelled at, had roared at. She hadn’t recognized her at the time, the Fluttershy Gilda had known was a gangly long limbed thing with no more muscle that a filly half her age and fragile enough that even the smallest amount of bullying would shatter her. Gilda knew full well that she was somewhat of a bully didn’t have the lack of heart necessary to do anything to Fluttershy. They sure hadn’t been friends, “Uhh, look. Fluttershy. I’m… I guess I’m kinda sorry about, well… yelling at you and junk last time I saw you. And for, uh, not recognizing you,” she finished lamely as she scratched the back of her head self-consciously.
“That’s okay.” Fluttershy’s eyes darted back and forth as though trying to decide what to do next. “Have you made up with Dash yet?”
Gilda was silent for a moment as she fought down her anger at Dash having been brought up by yet another pony. “No,” she said finally.
“Oh! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up and-“
“Don’t apologize… It’s okay,” Gilda replied tiredly. Why did dealing with Fluttershy always make all her anger just vanish anyway?
“Miss Fluttershy?” a nearby stall keeper asked.
“Y-yes?”
“Your birdseed is ready.” The mare gestured at two large bags of seeds that sat on the counter of the sturdy stall.
“Thank you very much,” Fluttershy replied weakly as she started to maneuver the bags onto her back.
Gilda watched the transaction with a sigh before grabbing both bags from Fluttershy. When met with Fluttershy’s confused but thankful look she rolled her eyes. “I’m just paying you back for all the times you helped bandage up me and RD. It’s a griffon thing.”
“Already putting Pinkie’s advice to the test?”
Gilda nearly dropped the bags at the sudden appearance of Damien. She was about to shoot back an acidic reply when she realized that he was right. This being nice stuff was a lot easier than she thought it would be. Not that she thought it would be difficult mind you.
Damien laughed at the shifting expressions on Gilda’s face and turned to face Fluttershy. “I’m glad to see that there’s at least one pony out there that can make Gilda behave. Mind letting me in on your secret?”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she tried to both protest having done anything and simultaneously manage to raise her voice to an audible level in front of a mostly unknown griffon.
Even with his magical enhancements Damien was just barely able to make out the gist of Fluttershy’s response. Dismissing the meek mare as a lost cause he turned to Gilda. “Since you seem to be otherwise occupied I’ll finish up this little shopping trip myself me dear. Is there anything in particular that you want to have around the house?”
“Apples,” she said after a few moments.
“Excellent!” Damien turned to Fluttershy. “Make sure she plays nice with others and get her back before sunset,” he said with a mischievous grin that brightened when he saw the tiny twitch of a smile on Fluttershy’s face and the scowl on Gilda’s. “And remember girl, don’t be a meanie.” He laughed again as slipped into the crowd and away from an angry swipe of Gilda’s talons.
“Ummm, you don’t have to help me. I can do fine on my own,” Fluttershy said softly.
“No. Like I said, it’s a griffon thing.” She looked down at Fluttershy. “Don’t think you could carry this around anyway.”
“Oh… Th-thank you very much.”
“So how much more crap you need?”
Fluttershy blushed at the slight profanity. “W-well I need some more carrots for the bunnies. And the bears need some honey. Oh! And the ferrets-”
“I get it. You need to get a lot of stuff right? How were you even planning on getting it all to your house anyway?”
Fluttershy balked at the direct question and looked at her hooves. “I was going to make several trips.”
Gilda sighed. “Good thing I’m here then. Let’s get moving.”
<-[XXXXX]->
Rainbow Dash had been following Gilda and Damien ever since they had left the library. She had been planning on tailing them, or rather Gilda, all day but her bed had been so comfortable that she had ended up sleeping until lunch. Now though, now she was ready to keep an eye on Gilda. Perched up on a cloud she had pried loose from her home she lay down to wait and watch.
One thing Dash hadn’t realized about observing someone was just how boring it could be. Nearly five minutes had passed and absolutely nothing had happened! Oh no! Damien was buying carrots! The horror! Oh no! Gilda was standing around DOING NOTHING! Dash groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t this be like those cool police stakeouts they always talked about in Manehatten? Dash’s eyes glazed over for a moment as she imagined herself catching Gilda red-handed and her flying off. The only person fast enough to catch her? Rainbow Dash. She smiled as her little fantasy continued growing into a full blown action story. Just as Dash was getting to the part with the bomb in the weather factory she realized she had gotten completely off track.
She quickly refocused her attention to the ground beneath her in time to see Gilda turn to Fluttershy. Dash tensed up, she remembered Pinkie telling her all about how Gilda had terrified Fluttershy. That had been the last straw in Dash’s mind. How Gilda could make Fluttershy of all ponies cry, especially after all the times she had played nurse to the self-destructive duo, Dash had no idea.
She stared down at the two, ready to fly down to comfort Fluttershy and confront Gilda in an instant. What she saw instead was what she felt was probably one of the most awkward conversations she had ever witnessed. She blinked in disbelief as Gilda actually seemed to be acting… well not nice but at least agreeable.
Dash growled in confusion as the two continued to talk, it may not have been the smoothest conversation but with Fluttershy involved it was about what one would expect. The conversation continued in the same awkward fashion until a stall keeper said something and presented Fluttershy with two large bags. Dash’s eyes widened in surprise as Gilda reached out and took the bags from the struggling pegasus. She watched in amazement as Gilda… helped Fluttershy shop?
Dash pushed his hiding spot along high above Gilda and Fluttershy as they continued through the marketplace. Neither of them seemed to inclined to chat after they started shopping. Fluttershy would stop at each stall and Gilda would pick up what was needed. Despite such promising signs Dash couldn’t help but still feel suspicious about her. A determined glint in her eyes she continued to shadow the pair through the marketplace.
<-[XXXXX]->
Hundreds of feet below Rainbow Dash another stalker was shadowing her target. Unfortunately she was having far less luck remaining unnoticed. This was due, not to any level of incompetence on her part, but solely to who she was trying to shadow.
Lyra knew Damien knew she was there. She also knew that he knew she knew he knew. She wasn’t really sure how far this recursive cycle went but the first two passes were enough to set the tone for her task.
She was going to follow him and hope he slipped up. He was going to shop and do his best not to slip up. It was only a matter of time.
It wasn’t the first time she had kept someone under surveillance for a while. Although it was the first time she had to keep a griffon under surveillance she didn’t think it would make much of a difference. The wings would be a problem but as long as she kept the usual pegasus surveillance methods in mind he wouldn’t be able to lose her. With a grim smile and seemingly boundless determination Lyra settled in for the long haul.
<-[XXXXX]->
Lyra was bored. She knew there were ponies out there that like to haggle but this was ridiculous. Damien seemed to spend at least five minutes at each stall just checking the quality of what he was getting, then at least another five haggling with the stall owner. At the last stall he had spent nearly ten minutes haggling with Applejack on just how much of a discount he could wring from her by buying in bulk. Of course after he had gotten an entire basket of apples he had shoved the entire thing into the satchel at his side. Lyra had to try harder and harder each time to suppress a groan of confusion at its existence.
Although such enchantments weren’t unheard of they were exceedingly rare and expensive. But most of all they were only used and useable by unicorns. Sure humans would sometimes show up with magic of their own but it always ended up conforming to whatever they had been turned into by the universal barrier. To make things worse unlike when a unicorn used their magic she couldn’t sense anything when he used the satchel.
She rolled her eyes as he padded from Applejack’s cart over to the next one down the line filled with ornate jewelry. What could he even want from jewelry anyway? It was almost like he was taking as long as he could in order to make her give up. She snorted and gritted her teeth. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had tried to get her to lower her guard like that. She hadn’t fallen for it before and wouldn’t do so in the future.
As Damien began to haggle with the shopkeeper over the price of a small simply adorned bracelet Lyra let her mind wander over what few things she had managed to learn about him. He was financially secure, something they had assumed before when he had managed to purchase a house. It was impossible to tell just how much money he had due to his satchel’s space warping attributes but despite his haggling he didn’t seem very concerned about spending money. Almost as though the haggling was part of a larger game he was playing. However he never made the first bid on what to pay for the item. A sign that he hadn’t worked out the relative value of goods in Equestria? Although that could be attributed to him being a griffon.
She scowled angrily. Things that would have normally been the clincher as far as proving he was from another world were made useless by simply being able to blame it on him being a griffon. Didn’t understand Equestrian? Griffons had their own language, or rather languages if the rumors were to be believed. Didn’t understand local politics or economics? Griffons had an entirely different governing system and the economic climate was never the same in any two places. Able to use some sort of strange magic she couldn’t sense? He’s a griffon. She didn’t know anything about griffon magic!
He slid the bracelet into his satchel and thanked the shopkeeper, by name no less, and went on to the next stall. Lyra sighed in relief as she noticed that after this he would have checked out every single stall in the market and would have to do something else. She rubbed her hooves together in anticipation of him actually doing something different.
Eventually he dug out his bits and took his latest purchase. He turned to face her and grinned before turning around and running away full tilt.
Damien was having fun. It seemed to be becoming a trend for him today. From the bank to the library to the market and now the fun he was going to doubtlessly going to have with Lyra. He zipped around a corner and leapt up into the air, his wings beat once to give him the extra lift needed to land on the simple thatched roof. Once there he hunkered down to obscure himself as much as he could from the street below.
As expected Lyra came charging around the corner mere seconds later, her head whipping both back and forth to see where he had ran and scanning he sky in case he had flown. It was then that she did something Damien hadn’t expected. Her horn glowed with the bright light that he had come to associate with unicorns working their magic but instead of the usual heavy-handed spell work he had come to associate with them a much more delicate working was taking place. He cursed his lack of foresight for judging the entire sub-species and their magic by the few spells he had felt them cast. A bright teal orb suddenly detached itself from her horn and flew unerringly towards where Damien lay. Lyra looked surprised that he had hidden himself so close but quickly calmed down. “I know you’re up there Damien. Why don’t you come down so we can talk?”
“Bah, you win this round Lyra,” Damien called back as he stood up and leapt down from the roof. “What exactly do you want to talk about?”
“I want to know where you came from and why you’re in Ponyville.”
“Ah, being blunt today are we? Nothing at all like you were at the party last night. Well, you did catch me I’ll answer one question truthfully. Ask wisely,” he chuckled.
Lyra quickly schooled away the shock at the revelation that he had noticed them at the party and his sudden gift of a single answer. “Only one questi-” she stopped herself as she realized what she was about to say.
“Ha! You’re much better than the last, oh… hundred maybe? People I’ve given a boon like this.” He grinned fiercely. “But are you good enough to ask the right question?”
Lyra carefully pondered what to ask. What he was? He could just say he was a griffon. If asked where he came from he could just say the Everfree or even his house. She would have to make sure that her question was specific enough to force an actual confession. Her eyes lit up as she came up with what she wanted to ask. “What species of creature were you two weeks ago?” she asked with a grin.
Damien answered her grin with one of his own. “Two weeks ago I was a griffon.”
Lyra’s confidence shattered as he said this. “What?”
“Two weeks ago I was a griffon.” His smile grew. “Better luck next time my dear.” With that he flared his wings and shot into the sky, leaving behind a very angry and confused unicorn.
<-[XXXXX]->
Twilight was pouring over a thick book on griffon culture and psychology when Bon Bon entered the library. She was so engrossed in the text that she didn’t even notice her customer until Bon Bon coughed politely.
“Oh! I’m so sorry Bon Bon, I got caught up in reading this books, fascinating stuff really, and I was in the middle of trying to figure something out and-”
Bon Bon chuckled. “It’s okay Twilight, I understand. No need to worry.”
Twilight was visibly relieved at Bon Bon’s understanding. “Thanks. Uh, can I help you find anything today?”
“I was actually looking for something on griffons, their culture, behavior, history, and pretty much anything about them actually.
Twilight’s eyes lit up in the same way they always did whenever somepony was looking for a book of any kind. “Well we don’t have many books on griffons here, not the most popular or applicable subject this far into Equestria. Although with Damien and Gilda here that might change.” She put her hoof to her chin as she pondered what books she had available. “There’s ‘A History of Border Skirmishes’, but that one is mostly military history about Equestria’s dealings with the more militant city-states. ‘Beasts of the North’ is really old and very prejudiced against griffons, dealing more in slander than actual facts. You’ll find a little about griffons in most of the history books, but not much more than footnotes.” She closed her eyes in concentration. “And I… think… we might have a few travel books somewhere in storage about a couple of the more cultural city-states but that’s it.”
“What about the one you were reading?” Bon Bon asked as she looked at the book in question, ‘A History of Griffons: Culture and Castes’.
“Oh, that,” Twilight said with distaste. “I’m not sure you can trust it. I was reading up on griffons after Gilda and Damien visited today but the book says that only certain, very rare, griffons called manes can use magic. They’re very distinct for having a ‘mane’ of feathers much like that of a male lion that glows softly whenever they use magic. They also supposedly never leave the city-states because they are treated like royalty and are always given positions of power.”
“And that means you can’t trust it?” Bon Bon asked, confusion apparent in her eyes.
“Well I thought I could before but today I saw Damien cast a spell to…” She blushed immensely at the memory. “Take a picture of… something.” She shook her head and gave Bon Bon a strong ‘don’t ask’ look. “But he didn’t look anything like the mane in the picture and exhibited none of the usual signs. No fancy feathers, glowing or otherwise. If the book is wrong about that what else could it be wrong about?” Twilight’s eyes widened in sudden panic. “What if my other books are wrong about things!? I might have to completely relearn everything about the neo-classical era because one of my books is wrong about when-”
“Calm down Twilight! I’m sure none of your books are wrong.” Bon Bon placed a calming hoof on the hyperventilating unicorn’s shoulder. “Damien is probably just a fluke.”
“A fluke! There aren’t any flukes! Everything can be-”
“Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. “You think Damien is a griffon version of Pinkie Pie?”
“Well not in the partying sense but in the does weird things nopony can explain sense.”
Twilight calmed visibly as she thought this over. Her books were still all correct, they just didn’t account for the occasional unique individual that defied the normal rules. She’d still have to figure out what rules Pinkie and Damien actually followed but it gave her a starting point for her understanding to begin at. “Thanks Bon Bon, I was starting to get worried for a while there.”
“No problem Twilight, glad I could help.” She turned to the door and started to leave.
“Wait! Didn’t you need a book on griffons?”
“I think I already found out everything I needed to know,” Bon Bon called back as she left the library, a sly smile on her face.
Twilight stared at the door as it swung shut. Why did ponies have to be so hard to understand?
Gilda grunted as she rebalanced her load for the fifth time. The bags of birdseed had been tied together and draped across her back, beside each bag was a basket filled to the brim with fruits and vegetables. Atop the ropes holding everything together was a large sack of grain. Now how to get the honey up there?
“Gilda? I can take the-”
“No,” Gilda said curtly, cutting off Fluttershy’s awkward offer of assistance for what felt like the dozenth time. Sure the whole carry stuff for Fluttershy had started out as a way to pay the pegasus back for all her help but it had grown beyond honor now. It was a challenge. A challenge she was going to prove herself superior to.
She wiggled her wings slightly to move the sack of grain down her back a little and turned to the unicorn shopkeeper. “Just set it right in front of the grain.”
The unicorn looked skeptical at this but obligingly levitated that large pot of honey onto Gilda’s back. There was a dull thump as the nimbus of magic supporting the jar dissipated. For a few tense moments Fluttershy and the unicorn watched Gilda with concern, unsure whether or not she would be able to carry the burden.
Gilda stifled a grunt as the weight settled on her back and glared at the two ponies as if to say ‘I told you so.’ The glare softened into a self-satisfied grin. She’d like to see one of those loser ponies manage this. “Told ya I could carry this no problem.”
“That’s amazing!” Fluttershy breathed.
Gilda felt herself preening at the sincere praise from the small pegasus. Why couldn’t more ponies be like Fluttershy? Or like Rainbow Dash of course. “So where are we taking this stuff anyway?”
“Well, we need to take it to my cottage at the edge of the Everfree.”
Gilda’s jaw almost dropped. She had to carry this all the way to the Everfree?! She quickly regained control of herself as she steeled herself. She had said that she would be bringing all this stuff to Fluttershy’s house and she was going to do it. She was no cub incapable of taking a simple walk. Besides, Fluttershy was originally going to carry all this. In multiple trips, sure, but if she could do it than there was no way Gilda could fail! “No time like the present,” she muttered before turning to Fluttershy. “Lead the way.”
Fluttershy gave a small nod, her eyes filled with concern. “Okay. But if you need to rest-”
“I’ll manage. I am a griffon after all.”
Still concerned Fluttershy turned and started leading the stubborn griffon to her cottage. She only hoped Gilda’s pride wouldn’t end up hurting her.
<-[XXXXX]->
Dash continued to follow Gilda and Fluttershy from her cloud high above the ground as they left the marketplace. She couldn’t help but be impressed with just how much Gilda was carrying, Applejack and Big Mac were probably the only ponies that she knew that could carry that much. She would never admit as much to Applejack though. She had a reputation to keep up after all.
She quickly brought her attention back to the pair beneath her. She shouldn’t let herself keep getting distracted like this. Gilda may not have tried to do anything in the marketplace where there were witnesses but maybe she would do something now that the two of them were alone.
Dash stared down at them as they took the long, winding, incredibly boring path back to Fluttershy’s cottage. She yawned hugely as they walked around yet another bend in the path. This stakeout stuff was hard. She looked up at the sun. It was almost two in the afternoon! And she hadn’t taken any naps at all today! Sure she had slept in a bit, getting up at noon instead of ten but she never missed out on her 1:30 nap if she could help it.
She turned an angry scowl down towards the ground. Gilda was making Dash miss her nap, an unforgivable offense in her mind. Not that it was really her fault but it felt good to be able to blame someone else. Although come to think of it Gilda really hadn’t done anything mean that Dash was aware of since she had come to Ponyville. Maybe she really had changed. Maybe she was really trying to be nicer. Most importantly, maybe Dash could take a nap.
Dash watched as the pegasus and griffon rounded another corner, in silence, just like the rest of the trip. She smiled as a plan came together in her mind. She could just fly over to Fluttershy’s house, take a quick nap, then wake up and continue surveillance when Gilda got there! It was foolproof. With a happy grin she zipped away towards her destination.
<-[XXXXX]->
Neither Fluttershy nor Gilda seemed capable of discerning a viable conversation topic. Gilda had tried several times when the silence had become unbearable but Fluttershy wasn’t the best when it came to talking about high speed flight stunts. Any conversation attempts on the pegasus’s side ended up coming out as little more than squeaks and barely audible whispers.
As the oppressive silence dragged on Gilda finally gave in and mentioned the one topic that she was sure would allow at least some level of conversation with the timid pegasus. “Pinkie said she’d try and help me be friends with Dash again.” Fluttershy’s eyes seemed to light up. “That’s wonderful! Rainbow Dash was so sad when you left Ponyville last time. I’m sure if you just go to her she’ll be willing to give you another chance.”
Gilda was shocked at the sudden change in Fluttershy’s demeanor but didn’t waste the steam that had built up towards an actual conversation. “Do you think you could, maybe, help me a bit too? Not that I need it, it’s just you’ve know Dash as long as I have so you’d be way more useful than that psycho Pinkie.”
“Gilda! You shouldn’t talk about ponies like that!” Fluttershy scolded suddenly.
Gilda was taken aback at this sudden display of emotion from the usually timid pegasus. As the shock wore off her eyes narrowed. “She did her very best to break apart my friendship with Dash. She even admitted it.”
“And now she’s trying to help you get it back! You should be nicer to the ponies that are helping you.”
Gilda glanced at the ground before muttering, “fine. I’ll give the twerp a chance.” She looked back at Fluttershy. “But only one. If she screws things up again I’m not going to forgive her.”
Fluttershy smiled at this and returned to walking along the path in silence. A few more minutes passed before she spoke up again. “Are you sure you don’t want any-”
“I’m sure,” said an exasperated and slightly amused Gilda.
<-[XXXXX]->
Lyra slammed the door to the sweet shop as she entered.
“Lyra? What’s wrong?” asked a concerned Bon Bon.
“Damien. He knew I was watching him and he thinks of the whole thing like some sort of game.”
“Yes, about tha-”
“It’s like playing hide and seek with a foal! A foal that can fly, outrun you, and hide anywhere!”
“Well I found out-”
Lyra continued to ignore her friend as she reached the door to the stairs leading to the living quarters above the shop. “I need to calm down a bit. I’ll be practicing for a few hours.” Her face darkened. “Or days.”
Bon Bon stared at the stairs for a few moments before shaking her head fondly and returning her attention to the letter in front of her. “Now where was I again?” she muttered as she reread her letter. “Ah, yes.” She grabbed the pencil she had been using, quills were far too flexible for her taste, and finished up her letter. She gave the last sentences a few careful lookings over and read them to herself. “…therefore I believe that although not a griffon in truth Damien can and is working to be a viable citizen of Equestria. Lyra will continue to monitor him for signs of danger but I believe that is merely a formality at this point. Your Faithful Servant, Bon Bon.”
Satisfied with the wording of the letter she sealed it with a small dollop of wax and placed it inside a hidden drawer in the counter. A dull fwoosh could be heard as soon as she closed the door when the letter burst into flames. She briefly considered telling Lyra about Damien as she thought back to her meeting with Twilight. But no, Lyra could do with a little more exercise and she probably wouldn’t accept an answer straight from a book.
With a small chuckle Bon Bon flipped the sign in the store’s window back to ‘open’. Maybe next time Lyra would actually listen to her instead of charging off on her own.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien’s eyes narrowed as he sized up his opponent. Compared to the mare before him all his opponents today had been a joke. Gilda’s angry assault had already been child’s play. Bartering in the marketplace had been entertaining but most ponies didn’t have the sheer drive to make him truly haggle. Escaping from Lyra had been simplicity in itself once he had figure out her tracking spell.
This pony however, she was truly a force to be reckoned with. The sheer determination, charisma, and presence were staggering. She had elevated the arts appearance, drama, and honeyed words to their pinnacle. He had rarely faced opponents of this magnitude in this type of battle, and it showed. He was losing.
“Oh but I insist! I simply cannot have you living in Ponyville without a stitch to your name aside from that tacky satchel!” Rarity insisted as she brandished the voluminous black cloak like a weapon.
“And I cannot simply accept a gift without giving something in kind! I am a man of morals both few and far but I do not accept gifts from those that are not part of the game!”
Rarity’s eyes narrowed at this. “Surely this game of yours is not so inclusive that you cannot allow me to partake in it?”
“The game is a sacred bond between those who have lived and fought both beside and against each other for decades! It is a complex scorecard of who owes what to whom and why! It is how we decided who was winning! I cannot simply make you part of the game and I cannot accept being indebted to one who is not part of it!”
“That is why this is a gift! A present to commemorate your coming to Ponyville! You have already admitted to having one of the most lackluster wardrobes I have ever seen and I simply cannot let you remain unprepared should an occasion for formality arise!”
“Gift or not it is still a debt to be paid! Perhaps there is something I can do for you? Acquire rare cloths for you next ensemble? Find flawless gems the likes of which no pony has laid eyes on before? Something to repay you for your wondrous work!”
“I have said it before and shall say it again. This is a gift of generosity I will not allow you to attempt any form of repayment for this. Now hold still so I can finish fitting this to you!”
Damien’s head sagged in defeat as he allowed the cloth to settle over him again. He had come in here to aquire a simple cloak, something appropriately dramatic for storytelling. Now? Now he was being fitted for a cloak the Atinian Emperors would have donned at the height of their power and wealth!
“There we go. Now we really must work with your feather colors, but we can’t have it clash with your fur…”
Damien sighed as he continued to listen to Rarity ramble about cloth and fashion. Give him something sturdy, comfortable, dramatic, and easy to ditch if it got caught on something any day. “I will find a way to repay you for this,” he muttered in the same tone he would have used to utter death threats to the more annoying heroes.
“Yes, yes. Now hold still while I hem this will you?”
Damien sighed as he willed himself to become motionless. She would get what was coming to her and she would be thankful, Gatekeeper help anyone who tried to stop him.
<-[XXXXX]->
Fluttershy’s cottage was a small thing, blending in beautifully with the surrounding nature and unobtrusive in appearance. Gilda had to admit it fit the timid pegasus perfectly. She tried her best to keep her mind on the surrounding area, the cottage, even the various animals that were around the cottage, tried to keep her mind on anything but the strong steady burn of her muscles. The trip had been longer than she had expected and the load heavier but she would not fail!
She suppressed a sigh of relief as Fluttershy opened the door and directed her into the kitchen. With stiff wings and forelimbs Gilda maneuvered first the pot of honey from her back. Then the bag of wheat was added to the table. And finally she simply let the birdseed and vegetables slide down her back to the floor.
“Thank you,” came the predictably soft voice from the other room. “I’ll go get us some tea, you can sit down anywhere you want.”
Gilda didn’t bother thanking Fluttershy as she padded into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa and finally let herself relax. Things were going good right? She’d been able to go all over the market today without losing her temper, hadn’t nicked anything, and had even apologized to Fluttershy. Twilight, Psycho Pie, and Fluttershy were all willing to help her patch things up with Dash. Even Damien seemed like he was willing to help when it was convenient or entertaining for him. But then why did she feel so restless? Was she not making enough progress? She closed her eyes with a groan. That must be it. She was getting all this help that they claimed was going to get Dash back but she hadn’t even seen Dash to confirm whether or not it would work out.
Her melancholy thoughts were interrupted by an insistent poking in her side. With a grumble and a flick of a wing she brushed away whatever was causing it and tried to get back on track. Only to have it return, even more insistently, mere seconds later. This time the sweep of her wing was decidedly annoyed and much less gentle. Almost immediately she felt something poking her beak this time. She half opened her eyes, ready to give whoever was bothering her a piece of her mind inly to see a small white rabbit. The tiny thing gave a self-satisfied nod when it saw that she was paying attention and started flailing its limbs around in an effort to pantomime… something.
Gilda groaned at the impromptu game of charades but was too tired to do anything but play along.
The rabbit pointed to the kitchen then waved his arms as though flying.
“Fluttershy.”
The rabbit nodded and pointed at her with a confused look on its face.
“And me?” Gilda asked.
The rabbit nodded emphatically and crossed its arms as though waiting for an explanation.
Gilda sighed. “I ran into her at the marketplace and decided to help her carry her stuff back her because I owed her for all the times she patched me up. Now she’s making tea.”
She couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise as the rabbit continued its pantomiming. It pointed at the kitchen and mimed crying, then pointed at her and gave her a death glare comparable only to what she’d seen reflected in the eyes of others when she was mad.
“And you’ll destroy me if I hurt her? Good luck twerp.”
The rabbit was undeterred in its voiceless promises of violence and destruction beyond mortal imaginings.
Eventually Gilda sighed. “I’m not going to hurt her.” She paused. “I think. She’s so fragile I’m not sure what wouldn’t hurt her.”
The rabbit continued to glare at her for a few moments before hopping off in a huff, apparently still not sold on the griffon’s intentions.
Gilda rolled her eyes as the rabbit hopped off. Like something that small could actually do anything to a cub, let alone a fully grown griffon. She closed her eyes and tried to regain her previous train of thought. Dash. When she had first entered Ponyville she had been sure that she would have to wait quite a while to see Dash. Maybe find some way to get Dash to come to her instead of seeking her out but now she wasn’t so sure. All of Dash’s friends seemed to think that reconnecting would be easy. She’d still try to make sure that she’d be meeting Dash on her own terms but it looked like that meeting was far closer to the present than she had originally thought it would be.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft clink of china on wood. She cracked her eyes open to see Fluttershy trying to softly set down the cups and teapot on the table. When she saw that Gilda was looking at her she squeaked and blushed. “Oh I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you it’s just the tea was ready and-”
Gilda held up a claw to silence her and rolled her eyes. “It’s alright. I was just thinking, not napping.” Gilda stood up and stretched, arching her back like a massive cat and flaring her wings. “That for me?” she asked as she pointed to a small cup on the table next to the couch. At Fluttershy’s nod Gilda took up the cup and sipped at the liquid. Her eyes widened in surprise as she found herself actually liking the strange concoction. If her first sip had been an attempt at politeness, her second eager sip was one of genuine enjoyment.
Fluttershy sat on a chair off to the side of the table and was drinking her own tea in tiny sips, casting furtive looks over at Gilda to see if she was enjoying the tea. Her eyes brightened considerably when she saw Gilda finish off her tea with a satisfied smile.
Against her will she found herself agreeing with Damien, Ponyville was very relaxing. Gilda hadn’t felt so at peace in months, maybe even years. Maybe it was the tea talking but she was actually enjoying sitting around doing nothing! Usually she wasn’t enjoying herself unless she was racing around the sky, but apparently taking a break can be just as enjoyable.
<-[XXXXX]->
Up in the sky Dash yawned enormously as she rolled over onto her other side. Her eyes opened slightly and surveyed the quaint cottage beneath her. “Huh, why am I at Fluttershy’s house?” she wondered aloud before closing her eyes again. Her eyes snapped back open a few moments later as she nearly shouted, “Gilda!”
She shot off down the path to town like a comet, her eyes scanning the gorund beneath her for any sign of the hopefully still traveling pair. She reached the place she had left them in seconds without seeing another pony or griffon the entire time. They must have already made it to her house! Her thoughts raced as she streaked across the sky. What if something had already happened? What if Gilda had done something? Dash approached the house and peeked into a window. A new thought pierced through all the others. What if she was wrong?
Fluttershy and Gilda were simply sitting in her living room, sipping tea and talking. Or rather every so often Gilda would say something or Fluttershy would whisper. Dash took in the scene with slight confusion. For the first time since she had seen that Gilda was back she really thought about what that meant. Gilda was back; last time she had come back she had caused trouble for other ponies and yelled at all of Dash’s friends. Then there had been the fight. The fight and… Dash shook her head. That wasn’t important right now. Gilda was back sure, but that didn’t mean that things were going to go badly this time right. Or was she just being optimistic? But Gilda had gone through the marketplace without causing any trouble. She had helped Fluttershy. She was in Fluttershy’s house drinking tea!
Dash groaned as she buried her head beneath her hooves. What should she do?! Part of her, a massive part, wanted to go right up to Gilda and try, just try, to be friends again. To fix the rift that had grown between them. Another part of her whispered doubts and reminded her about all the things that Dash had ignored while they had been friends. The bullying, the way she had insulted everypony else. She felt like her head was splitting in two as she wrestled with herself. What should she do?!
After several minutes of wrestling with herself she froze. For better or worse she knew what she had to do.
“You’ll see! I will hound you to the ends of Equestria! I shall never falter in my unflagging determination! No matter what you do or say, where you run or hide, you cannot escape! For when the time comes I will be there and I will repay your generosity!” Damien shouted as his new cloak billowed out behind him as if blown out by the wind.
“Do you always vow to repay ponies like that?” Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Nah, just need to get the feel for the cloak,” Damien said with a laugh as he unclasped it and began to fold it carefully. “I will pay you back for this. The gods themselves cannot stand in my way when I fulfill my debts.”
“You are not indebted to me the cloak is a gift,” Rarity said exasperatedly.
“Bah, who are you to say whether or not one feels indebted to another. I feel I am therefore I am. Therefore I will pay you back. But how?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “If you must. Though I must say I did enjoy having a chance to prepare an ensemble for a griffon. I may be able to expand some of my lines to cater to griffons as well now! I had no idea of the differences between preparing an outfit for a pegasus and a griffon.”
“I suppose that may pay towards my debt but it does not erase it!” Damien vowed as he carefully slid the cloak into his satchel.
“Yes, yes. Do come again if you need anything else.”
“Of course m’lady. After seeing your craftsmanship I doubt I could stand to go to a lesser tailor.” Damien bowed with a flourish and turned to the door.
He smiled as he walked out onto the street. His eyes flicked back and forth along the street as he surveyed his surroundings and went over his mental checklist. Go to library? Done. Get spendable money? Extremely done. Get food? Done. He patted his satchel happily. Get some nice dramatic storytelling clothing? Check. Find a way to get Gilda out of the house so she won’t mess with the wards that need to be put up? Surprisingly done. Get materials for wards? Not so much.
His next goal in mind he thought back to whether any of the stores nearby sold what he needed. A couple buckets of paint would probably be enough. He already had the most important ingredient with him anyway.
He once again cursed his inattentiveness when it came to learning what stores sold what products in this town and resigned himself to asking for directions. “Excuse me!” he called out to a tan earth pony. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find some paint would you?”
True to the genial nature of most of the town’s inhabitants Damien soon found himself with not only directions to the store in question but a temporary traveling companion. Unfortunately though his companion seemed to be mostly interesting in getting a surprisingly large number of worries off his chest and spent the entire trip switching between wondering if some cosmic force was out to get him and apologizing for complaining so much.
Damien fought the urge to roll his eyes as the pony gave yet another apology when they parted ways in front of an enormous construction store. Damien’s eyes widened as he entered the store and took in the sheer number of tools, types of wood, paints, and other such items that lined the walls and shelves. He shook his head as he counted no less than a dozen different variations on one type of hammer on one shelf. It took him nearly ten minutes to find a paint that he felt would suit his purposes, even if he didn’t know what half the ingredients in this concoction were.
In the end he brought two large cans of paint and a brush to the counter. The cashier looked over Damien’s purchases carefully before asking. “You already got primer?”
“Primer?”
“Yeah, you put the first coat of primer on the walls, then you use the paint that you want the walls to look like. You already got it or..?”
Damien shook his head. “No and I don’t need it for what I’m doing.”
“You sure? Not professional if you don’t use primer.”
“I have no need for primer. How much do I owe?”
“Forty-three bits.” The cashier paused. “You sure you don’t want primer?”
Damien nearly slammed the coins on the counter and growled, “yes.”
“Fine, no need to get mad,” the cashier huffed as Damien collected his purchases.
“Thank you for your time,” Damien said politely as he left the store and headed home.
<-[XXXXX]->
Once home Damien began locking every door and window he could. Pulling blinds and otherwise preventing anyone from seeing what he was doing or interrupting him. Once satisfied with his security he sat down and pulled the two cans of paint from his satchel and jimmied one open. He stared at the viscous liquid for several moments before placing one hand in the air directly over the can. With a smile he quickly drew his claws over his exposed palm, scoring a deep trio of cuts that gushed forth blood. He began to chant as the blood dribbled down from his hand and dropped into the waiting can of paint.
As his chanting continued the paint began to swirl and glow, lighting the room with an otherworldly red hue. Before long the paint was no longer its original off-white color but a deep blood red and glowed like a bonfire. The three cuts in his hand quickly knitted together and faded from sight. Satisfied with his mixture Damien ceased chanting and delicately dipped his new brush into the paint. When he removed it not a drop fell from the laden brush and it glowed as if aflame.
His smile faded into a grimace of concentration as he carried the brush and can over to the front door. A brief smile twitched as he recalled everything he knew about wards. Always start wards form the place of entry for it is the foundation of all comings and goings and should therefore be the foundation for your wards. He cleared a small spot near the door, rechecked that it was locked, and started chanting a long complex spell, each syllable brought a blazing black sigil into existence. In seconds the air around him was fully of twisting spinning sigils. With a final curt motion he ended the spell and a bubble of energy surrounded him, blocking out all sound, smell, and any other distractions from outside and keeping everything he did inside. Satisfied that he wouldn’t be disturbed he began to paint tiny half inch high sigils onto the door frame.
As each sigil was completed a burning smell filled the air and the paint blackened before vanishing to all but Damien’s finely tuned arcane senses. Soon the air was filled with the smell of burning wood, blood, and paint. Damien breathed the scent in happily, the scent of job well underway. He glanced quickly at the door frame as a whole, at this rate it would only take him another half hour to finish with this ward. Then he could actually get started on the time consuming stuff. Satisfied with his progress he dipped the brush back into the can and started on the next sigil.
<-[XXXXX]->
“Well this has been… relaxing I guess. Thanks for the tea,” Gilda said as she set down her cup. “I’m going to… well I don’t know. I guess I’m just going to head home and see if Damien remembered those apples.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to leave. It’s no problem, really,” Fluttershy said worriedly as wings fluttered nervously.
“Yeah. If I’m gonna get Dash back I can’t just sit around in the middle of nowhere all day.” She caught herself. “Uhh, no offense.”
“Oh, that’s okay. My house is a little far from everypony else and I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you and-”
“It’s okay,” Gilda stated firmly.
“O-okay.”
Gilda groaned quietly. Even when she was being considerate Fluttershy made you feel like you were inches away from breaking her or making her cry. “Thanks for everything.”
“Oh no, thank you for helping me so much with my shopping!”
“Don’t worry, like I said it was a griffon thing.” Gilda shrugged her wings as she reached for the door.
<-[XXXXX]->
Dash was outside the cottage wrestling with herself. She had already made the decision, why was this so hard? She should have been able to follow through ages ago! She was Rainbow Dash not Rainbow… slow? Nah that didn’t work. In any case she didn’t do slow, she didn’t do worrying, and she didn’t do overthinking things! Most ponies actually said she never thought anything through, let alone overthought it! Although that was more of an insult that anything else.
And now she was getting distracted! What was going on today! First stalking one of her friends and an ex-friend, spying on them, and now she was…scared? That couldn’t be right! Rainbow Dash was fearless! Nothing could ever hope to scare her!
She lifted herself up off the ground, a steely glint in her eye. After a couple determined strides she stood before Fluttershy’s door and reared back a hoof. At the last moment she closed her eyes, and her hoof shot forward. Through the now open door.
A door opened by a now shocked griffon.
A shocked griffon that was shortly on the receiving end of a rocket propelled hoof.
Rainbow Dash cracked her eyes open when she felt her hoof make contact with something much more yielding than the sturdy door of Fluttershy’s house. She took in the scene before her with wide eyed confusion and guilt. “He-heh… Sorry?”
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien carefully painted the last sigil onto the door frame with an air of great satisfaction. The acrid smell of burning paint, blood, and wood had so permeated his senses he didn’t even notice it anymore. He let his arcane sense run free as he looked at the door frame, now surrounded by sharp edged sigils spelling out defenses, protections, and charms. He felt as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. Even with this world’s peacefulness he hadn’t quite felt safe without a home base to call his own.
With a proud smile he fished a small black gemstone out of his satchel and affixed it to the one blank spot above his door frame. Every time anyone used this door the gem would take a little energy and save it up. And given the sheer volume of energy the average Equestrian seemed to have this stone would grow very strong, very fast.
Now which room to do next? He smiled as he waved away the shielding bubble that had kept him contained from the outside world. There was a rush of air as the smoke that had surrounded him burst free from its containment and billowed outwards. Perhaps the kitchen should be next? Spend a lot of time there and it’s always good to be well defended in a room you spend so much time in after all.
His thoughts were suddenly cut off as a harsh screeching noise filled the air. He clamped his talons over his ears as his eyes shot back and forth trying to discern the cause of his suffering. The kitchen! Damien flew into the kitchen with murder in his eyes and lethal magic on his tongue. His eyes swept the room looking for assailants, pranksters, anything that might have caused this to happen. They finally came to stop on a small device sitting on the wall, blinking and screeching at him. He didn’t even bother with the words or the sigils this time as he reached out with his mind and smashed the unfortunate device. The extra costs the spell had demanded in exchange for abandoning his traditional method of spell casting were well worth it to destroy whatever that thing was.
The screeching stopped the moment the device was crushed into scrap. Damien slowly removed his hands form his ears and looked quizzically down at the thing on the ground. He could feel the unicorn magic in its making but the spell was unfamiliar to him. He continued to stare at it as he followed the winding pathways of the spell, the pieces slowly falling into place in his mind. It was some sort of detection spell… Designed to detect… smoke? His eyes brightened as everything fell into place. It was some sort of fire safety device. If there was too much smoke there was probably a fire, the piercing noise would alert everyone in the house and allow them to escape to safety. He nodded in admiration at the device. It was a fine piece of work, something to commend the ponies for creating, something he could learn from. His face fell. Something he had seen in several other rooms in the house.
As if waiting for his realization another smoke alarm began its cacophonous shrieking, soon followed by another, and another.
<-[XXXXX]->
“Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!” Dash found herself repeating over and over as she stared down at a half-conscious Gilda and a panicking Fluttershy.
“Dash! What did you do?!” Fluttershy asked, her voice managing to actually reach a normal speaking volume in her concern and surprise.
“I was going to knock on the door! I didn’t mean to punch her!”
Fluttershy flitted over to Gilda’s twitching body and inspected her injury. “She’s alright.”
Dash was visibly relieved to hear this, she might not quite completely trust Gilda again but she hadn’t wanted to start things out by decking her! As Dash continued to freak out a soft voice wavered up from the floor.
“Heh. Forgot you had such a mean right cross.”
Dash looked down at Gilda in surprised as she slowly managed to prop herself up on her elbows. “Are you alright?”
“Of course. You think I can’t take one of your punches?” she said with a weak chuckle.
Dash fought back a laugh; it was starting to feel like old times. “You should be more careful when you open doors. Somepony might be getting ready to knock.”
Gilda managed a weak chuckle. “I probably deserved that too didn’t I?”
Dash paused for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, you were kinda a jerk last time you were here.”
Gilda finally managed to pick herself back up. “Yeah, I guess so.” She looked around awkwardly.
Dash was doing the same for several moments before she spoke up again. “Hey, you wanna try hanging out tomorrow? I… uh… heard some ponies saying you’d changed and I wanted to see if it was true.”
Gilda’s eyes widened at this. “Sure! I mean… I guess so. Not like I have anything else to do tomorrow.”
Dash grinned at this. “Great, be ready to lose all your races tomorrow because you’re going up against Cloudsdale’s best young flier!”
“What? No one else showed up?” Gilda responded.
“Hey! Don’t make me hit you again,” Dash said jovially as she pantomimed throwing a punch.
“Like you could hit me without cheating.”
Gilda and Dash continued to banter for several minutes, each glad to be one step closer to rekindling their old friendship.
In what seemed far too short a time Dash and Gilda went their separate ways, leaving behind a softly smiling Fluttershy.
<-[XXXXX]->
“Hey freak! I’m back!” Gilda shouted into the house as she unlocked the front door. Her beak wrinkled in disgust as she was assaulted with an acrid smell she had never encountered before. She stepped cautiously into the house, her eyes alert for movement. “Come on freak. This isn’t funny.”
She slowly made her way into the kitchen, alert for anything suspicious along the way. Halfway across the room she almost stepped on a small chunk of metal, gem, and wood. She picked it up gingerly in an attempt to discern what it was. “A smoke detector?” she asked the empty room.
“Yes. A smoke detector.”
She spun around to see Damien standing in the doorway behind her. He looked disheveled and out of breath but happy. “What the buck happened to you?”
“Smoke detector went off. I crushed it. Then another went off. And another. And another.” His eyes glinted with suppressed anger. “So I crushed them all. All at once.” He looked pensive for a moment. “Might have gotten some of the neighbor’s as well. Wasn’t thinking straight when I cast the spell. Just wanted them all to be destroyed.” He chuckled mirthlessly, a mad glint in his eye. “And they are!”
“Oookay,” Gilda said as she backed up slowly.
“Food’s in the fridge. Help yourself. We’ll talk about room and board tomorrow. I’m going to eat the pie I picked up today and go to sleep.”
Gilda was silent as he walked over to the counter and picked up an entire apple pie and carried it out of the kitchen. “Be sure to lock the door before you go to sleep. Wards work better like that.”
Gilda could only stare after her landlord in confusion. After a quick glance at the crumpled smoke detector at her feet her stare held a small bit of apprehension as well.
<-[XXXXX]->
Luna frowned at the pile of paperwork in front of her. The paperwork itself wasn’t the issue so much as the scroll on top. The scroll with a broken seal. She sighed and rolled her eyes. She really needed to get all the agent’s message delivery spells keyed to her magical signature and not her sister’s if she was going to return to her former post of head of Equestria’s covert operations.
A purple nimbus enveloped the scroll as she levitated it into the air in front of her and quickly scanned it. She blinked and read through it again, much more slowly this time. Another human in Equestria? They had been showing up a good deal more over the last year if the reports were to be believed. Luckily most of them were found rather quickly and either sent home or integrated into society without complaint. But this one, if he really was a human, seemed to be a special case. To completely bypass the shield, the transformation spell, and all the other safegaurds that warned others of their status and made them easier to track. For one to come into Equestria and choose to be a griffon, to know the language and be able to actually fit into pony society, or rather fit in as well as one might expect a griffon to was very unusual.
Of course Celestia would have already read this letter and probably already had some sort of scheme or plot bubbling up in her mind about this strange griffon’s presence. Luna looked at the letter again and glanced out the window.
It was still a little early but in a few hours maybe… She smiled deviously to herself. It had been a long time since she had made proper use of those spells and it would do her good to get back into shape. Flex the magical muscles as it were. She carefully set the scroll off to the side and looked back at the imposing stack of paperwork. Maybe it would be more than just a few hours before she could start, she realized with a groan.
The two men stood alone in the massive throne room. One wore a suit of brilliant golden armor, the other a suit of blackened steel. One pair of eyes was filled with determination, the other pity. The golden man stood in front of a window as the sunlight pierced the clouds and filled the room with glaring light. In his hands was a broken and twisted sword but his eyes did not waver. When he spoke his voice was certain.
The blackened man laughed as he pulled his scabbard from his back. His voice was soft and contemptuous as he pulled the hilt free to show that his sword had no blade. With pity in his eyes the man threw the hilt to the ground between them and strode forward.
The golden man was confused. His eyes, once full of determination, were now filled with doubt and fear. He struck out at the blackened man with his sword but found it turned aside contemptuously.
The blackened man placed his hands upon the shoulders of the golden one and spoke again. His voice filled with both hatred and pity. He pushed the golden man and watched as he fell out the window and landed in a heap of broken bones and torn flesh at the bottom of the tower. The golden man had not screamed.
The surviving man turned suddenly to face the room at large. “Would you like me to translate for you or can you do that on your own?”
The room swirled and fell apart into purple mist as a voice echoed around the void. “How didst thou know we were here?”
The man smiled. He hadn’t known, but with no one around to catch him if he had been wrong he had called out similar catcalls several times through the night.
“We see. It was merely a lucky guess.”
The man cursed. “So the great Princess Luna can hear one’s thoughts as well?” He smiled sourly. “Twilight didn’t mention that.”
“So thou dost know who we are, tis an interesting turn of events.” The mist slowly coalesced into the form of the lunar princess. “We must admit we didn’t know what to expect of you Damien.”
He smiled. “I aim to surprise,” he said with a bow. “How much have you seen so far?”
“We have seen only your latest memory. Who was that man you killed?”
“That one was Roland. No last name.” He sighed as he waved at the mists and they coalesced into a graveyard. In front of them was a simple tombstone, on its front were engraved the words ‘Roland: Born a man. Died a fool’. “The boy was given a prophecy, ‘When evil draws its blade, your victory is at hand’. A simple enough prophecy to deny, wield a sword with no blade. No drawn blade, no prophesied victory. No conquering hero.”
“Thou seem distraught by his failure.”
“By his failure? No. I will do what I must to survive.” He turned to face Luna. “Even if it means facing down goddesses and princesses. I am… distraught… by Fate. She was always bound to be what she was seen to be, the curse of godhood. But that never excused the blood that was on her hands, on my hands. Thousands of heroes were sent to kill me by her decree. Thousands were killed. The dead inspired the living and added to the lure of fame that was being the one to kill the Dark Lord Damien. All her machinations strip her pawns of their free will and very few are able to take it back.”
“And thou were equal to the task?”
“I’m still alive aren’t I?” He waved his hand and the dreamscape shifted to a replica of his new house, his form to that of his new body. “But let’s get down to business. I don’t like you or your sister. I doubt that anything you can do will change that. Yet you know of me. What happens next?”
Luna seemed pleasantly surprised at the directness of Damien’s question. “It is not often we are dealt with so… directly. More often our supplicants ply us with their honeyed words and empty gestures. It takes all day for them to admit they want something.”
“Yet another reason to hate the noblility, and the gods I suppose. But that doesn’t answer my question. What now?”
“Now we will watch you. You have no need for classes on how to fit into Equestria and you seem to know well enough that you are expected to live here peacefully.”
“A peaceful retirement would be preferable. I have no intention of ruining my chances of actually being able to relax.” “But you are dangerous. What little we have seen shows that in abundance. Were you to return to your old ways-” He waved a claw dismissively. “I would be destroyed by you and your sister. I’ve been given such threats before. Albeit by gods that are far less… hooves on than you. If nothing else you can trust me to ensure my own survival. A survival that would end abruptly if I angered either of you.” He leaned forward. “Given about three or four hundred years I might be able to defend myself against you well enough to risk such a thing but that would only put me right back to what I came here to escape.”
“Thou doth believe that thy power can match ours?” Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Now? Physically? Not in the slightest. Here in my own mind it might be a different matter though.” As he said this his eyes locked on Luna’s and the dreamscape around them trembled and shook.
The mists shot back and forth as they tried to assume the shapes of weapons and defenses, each one torn apart as soon as they were made. Soon the changes became traumatic scenes from the minds of the combatants. The barren moon, an empty cave, a white alicorn surrounded by six gems, an elaborate tombstone.
As quickly as it started it stopped and the mists resumed their languid milky appearance. Both Damien and Luna kept their eyes locked on one another as he gestured to a small table that had appeared next to them. “Tea?”
If Luna was surprised by the table’s sudden appearance she didn’t show it. Accepting the proffered cup with a nod she inspected Damien again. “It is not often we meet one so capable of mental combat,” she said offhandedly.
“In my world magic is the art of enforcing your will on reality. A weak minded mage doesn’t make it very far.” They both sipped at their tea cautiously, each one eyeing their opponent carefully.
“Why didst thou choose to be a griffon?”
Damien wiggled his claws in the air between them with a wry grin. “Fingers. I can’t imagine giving them up by becoming a pony.” He paused for a moment. “The prehensile tail and wings were also a good bonus.”
Luna chuckled loudly. “We would imagine.” She set her cup of tea on the empty air. “You shall be allowed to stay in Ponyville for the time being. We will return to your dreams quite often to learn more of your history and our agents will still observe you during the daylight hours.”
Damien gave a small bow of acceptance. “A small price to pay for peace.”
Luna bowed in return and dissolved into mist.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien woke the moment Luna left his dream. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat and every muscle ached as though he had run all day and fought a war all night.
“Pit damned goddess-princesses!” he grumbled under his breath as he shifted in his bed and threw off the covers. “Going to need more wards. A lot more wards.” He slowly resettled himself in his bed, not bothering with the covers, new designs for wards meant to increase one’s ability to fend off mental aggressors already swirling in his head.
<-[XXXXX]->
Luna opened her eyes with a smile. Her body ached but it was the good steady ache from a heavy exercise. Damien had done a good job disguising his fatigue and his method of ending the mental fight had been a masterstroke. If the fight had gone on much longer he would have definitely lost; ending the competition there had let him claim victory, no matter how small or hollow. He would have to be watched. Closely. But for the moment she seriously doubted that he was going to be causing trouble in the near future, not for centuries if his estimates were to be believed.
She levitated a roll of parchment, a quill, and an inkpot over to herself with a pensive look on her face. The quill slowly levitated into the inkpot as Luna worked out what to write and who to write it too. With a look of inspiration she levitated another piece of parchment over to herself and began writing two letters. Within minutes the two complete letters sat before her, their ink drying in night air. As soon as they were done Luna closed her eyes in concentration and the letters burst into flames. Their ashes swirled into the air and vanished into the night.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien slept in the next morning and woke with a smile. He padded up to the window and beamed happily at the sun. “Ha! Can’t wake me up anymore now can you!” he gloated at the sun. “I have wards! Wards that make your insane sun magic completely quiet! I win you overpowered sun goddess!” Nearly ten minutes of happy gloating later Damien left his room to get started with the day.
In time he eventually made his way down the stairs to find Gilda rummaging around in the fridge. “And how is my favorite griffon boarder today?” he asked as he opened a pantry. Preservation wards. That’s what the kitchen needs! Make sure nothing ever spoils in here!
“You are way too happy freak.”
“Girl, it would be impossible to not be happy when one feels they have denied the power of the gods, no matter how small their defiance may be,” he said with a sage look. “Get the eggs out while you’re over there.” He paused a moment. “Some spinach and some mushrooms too,” he called as he pulled out a loaf of bread and an onion and carried them over to the counter.
Gilda contemplated glaring at him but thought better of it. “What’re ya making?” she asked as she brought over the requested items.
“Omelets!” he said with a massive grin as he washed his claws carefully. He paused a moment to admire his work then began to dice the vegetables.
“You’re putting those in an omelet?” Gilda asked with a sneer.
“I find it quite tasty,” he said haughtily as he looked over his work so far.
“Make mine with just eggs.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Who said I was making anything for you?”
“I… well… I got you your eggs and crap.”
“Not good enough. You need to say it.”
“What?”
“Saaaaaaayyyyyy iiiiiiiiit,” he almost sing songed as he placed a skillet on the stove and lit the burner.
“I- You-” She sighed. “Will you please make me an omelet?”
“I would be honored my dear.” He smiled and splashed a generous portion of oil into the pan. “So how did your day go yesterday?” he asked as he cracked eggs into the skillet.
She glared at him for several moments before responding, “I followed Pinkie’s advice a bit.”
“And?”
“And I ran into Fluttershy, helped her with her shopping, ran into Rainbow Dash and we’re meeting up later today happy?!”
“Exceedingly.”
The two were silent for several moments as he continued to work the skillet with one hand and cut some generous slices of bread with the other.
“I’m surprised you cook,” Gilda finally said to break the silence.
“If you live as long as I have and are more or less stuck in one place for long enough you start to either take up hobbies or go mad. Madness leads to a quick death and learning to cook leads to an enjoyable pastime. Not a hard choice.” He smiled as he eased an omelet onto a plate and placed it on the table. “Your completely plain and boring omelet is ready.”
Gilda sighed and padded over to the table. “Thanks,” she muttered half-heartedly.
Damien’s eyes widened. “You really are taking her advice to heart.” He shook his heading wonder as he turned away from the table.
“Well it worked alright. The psycho might actually be onto something,” she grumbled as she started in on her omelet.
“More flies with sugar and all that,” Damien said as he stated cracking more eggs into the skilled and dumping his extra ingredients in as well.
As Gilda had finished her breakfast Damien returned to the table with his own omelet and several slices of bread heavily laden with butter. When Gilda started to leave the table he spoke up, “be sure to take care of your dishes.”
She stared at him for a few moments before reluctantly taking her dishes over to the sink and giving them a quick cleaning. “That good enough?”
“It’ll do. Now go have fun with all your little pony friends.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever freak. Later.”
Damien smiled as he watched her leave. He still had to work out the whole rent thing but securing the house was far more important and he didn’t want her underfoot while he worked. But that was the future and the present involved a delicious omelet. Well that and ideas for enchantments to automatically clean the dishes. Now to engrave them on the counter or on the sink, that was the question. He smiled contentedly as he took a massive bite out of a slice of bread, long strings of sigils dancing through his mind.
<-[XXXXX]->
Gilda leapt lazily into the air as soon as she left the house. She had barely flown at all yesterday, not wanting to attract Dash’s attention and being grounded either by groceries or land-bound ponies all day. It wasn’t until she cleared the rooftops of Ponyville that she realized how much she had missed flying, even if only for a day.
She still had a good hour or two to kill before she was supposed to meet Dash. An hour or two she intended to use flying. Even when she had been living in the Everfree she hadn’t really been able to fly. She’d always had to make sure she wasn’t too noticeable so no one would come looking for her. Her heart sang as she poured on the speed and twisted through the air. It had been way too long since she had done any real flying.
She had just pulled off a rather impressive bit of trick flying when she heard the cheering. Her eyes shone with pride as she scanned the ground beneath her for her adoring fan. Her expression froze when she saw Pinkie Pie cheering and waving at her.
Stifling a groan she let herself slow and landed a couple yards from the waving pink pony. “You want something?”
“You were nice yesterday!”
Gilda blinked in confusion. “What?”
“You were nice to Fluttershy and said sorry and Dashie forgave you and everything is better!”
“…How did you know that?”
“Silly Gilda, Dashie told me when she asked me and everypony else to hang out today!” Pinkie paused, putting her hoof to her chin. “Wait… was I not supposed to tell you that? Dash didn’t make me Pinkie Promise so I guess I’m allowed to tell you.”
As Pinkie continued to ramble Gilda’s eyes were narrowing. “I thought it would just be us today, not any of her other friends.”
Pinkie stopped rambling and looked Gilda right in the eye, a surprisingly serious expression on her face. “Dashie is testing you. Last time you were all angry about her having other friends and she wants to make sure that you won’t be a Jealous McClingygriffon.”
Gilda blinked in shock. “And Dash just told you all this?”
“Of course not silly! But it was sooooooo obvious!” She gasped suddenly. “We should throw you a Welcome to Ponyville Party!”
“You- I- What-” Gilda rubbed her forehead. “No. You already threw me a party.”
Pinkie was silent for a moment. “Oh! No that was a Break Gilda up with Dash Party. This is a different kind of party!” She leaned in and whispered, “this kind of party is better.” She gave a massive wink before returning to her earlier position.
Gilda was speechless for a moment. “You threw one when Damien showed up. I was there too,” she said with an air of desperation.
“No!” Pinkie shouted as she grabbed Gilda’s face. “You NEED a party of your own!”
Gilda felt herself backing away from the crazed earth pony. “No I-”
“You do!” She gasped again. “I should set up the party for when we all meet up today! No, after Dashie finishes testing you! It can be a welcome party and a congratulations party all at once! Double the party for triple the fun!”
Before Gilda could say anything else Pinkie shot off with a speed that impressed even the stunt flying griffon.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien smiled as he painted the last sigil onto the frame of the pantry and breathed in the acrid smoke. As a final precaution he slowly moved his eyes along the minute script, reading the complex spells aloud and feeling the words leave tingling traces of power on his tongue. When the last word rumbled from his throat he reached out and dismissed the shield that surrounded him.
Once again waves of smoke billowed out away from him. He smiled contentedly when the silence continued, unpierced by the shrill buzzing of the day before. Part of him had been worried that there might have been other smoke detecting enchantments on the house that would have become live with the destruction of the smoke detectors. He strained his ears for several minutes for the sounds of anything that might break the blessed silence.
His vigilance was rewarded, not by the piercing trill of an alarm but a hesitant knocking noise. He looked around confusedly as his mind slowly put two and two together.
“Hold on! On my way!” he shouted as he waved away the smoke and headed towards the door and the continuing knocking. Within seconds he managed to reach the door and threw open the deadbolt. He unconsciously steeled himself as he opened the door, part of him mind expecting an attack. Old habits take more than a single day to defeat after all. His eyes widened slightly as he saw the white unicorn at the door. “Ah, Miss Rarity, I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon, come right in. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”
“Thank you Damien,” she said politely as she stepped across the threshold. Her nose wrinkled slightly at the smell permeating the house but she remained silent on the subject.
“Are you here to let me pay you back or have you graced me with your presence for some other reason?”
Rarity smiled slightly at his question before answering. “I suppose I am. Rainbow Dash was insistent about gathering us all up for something later today but today also happens to be my day to watch the Crusaders for Applejack. We do try to keep them under control when we can after all. Therefore I find myself in need of a… babysitter if you will. Since Sweetie Belle mentioned you in passing yesterday I figured you might be able to watch them.” She smiled sheepishly.
“But of course m’lady! I would be honored to assist you in your time of need! I do, after all, owe you for your marvelous work.” Damien bowed with a flourish. “When can I expect them?”
Rarity seemed surprised that he had agreed so readily to watch the crusaders. Either he took his debts really seriously or he had no idea what he was getting into. “I… believe they had planned to meet up at Carasoul Boutique for lunch and then were going to…. Crusade for their cutie marks.”
“Very well then! Send them over here when they meet at your house, I will provide a meal and then the crusading can begin!”
“Thank you so much for your assistance Damien, I do hope they won’t be too much of a bother.”
“Oh please, wha-” He stopped mid-sentence before muttering, “didn’t finish it. Doesn’t count. Didn’t finish it. Doesn’t count.”
“Ah, are you alright?”
“No idea! Could have just doomed myself right there though. How closely does this world follow narrative causality anyway?”
Gilda’s remaining time flying was undercut by constant thoughts and worries about her impending meeting with Dash and, if Pinkie was right, all Dash’s loser friends. Although… one of those friends was Fluttershy and she wasn’t too bad, a weakling sure but not really loser material. Gilda narrowed her eyes in concentration as she tried to recall what other friends Dash had around Ponyville. Pinkie Pie was a given. She still might not really trust that pink nut but Pinkie had been helpful. She wouldn’t be too bad… hopefully. But who were the other friends? Everyone that had shown up at that party? She doubted it. It would have to be a smaller group…
She floated lazily though the sky while her mind continued to frantically work through all the ponies she had seen so far and whether or not any of them had been with Dash. However try as she might she couldn’t think of anyone that had seemed close to Dash other than Pinkie.
What if she thought about Pinkie’s friends? Her face fell as she remembered how the pink pony acted around everyone. Even Damien, a… whatever he is… that had never been to Ponyville before, was apparently counted among her friends within hours of his arrival. Close friends then, ponies that actually hung out with Pinkie on a regular basis.
Her eyes lit up in the middle of a tight loop. Twilight! Pinkie had rushed to her aid when she had thought Gilda was causing trouble. Would that make Twilight one of Pinkie’s friends? And would that make her one of Dash’s? Gilda’s beak twisted into a grimace. She’d never realized how little she knew about having friends. Her mind went back to anything she could remember Twilight saying. She had mentioned Dash! That they had been talking at the party! That surely meant they were friends… right?
Gilda nodded to herself as she skimmed the rooftops. They had to be friends. You don’t just go around telling everyone about the problems you have with old friends right? That made three ponies that she was sure she’d be able to handle. Sure she didn’t know much about Twilight but she had given free waffles, lunch, and had tried to help her work things out. She couldn’t be all bad right?
She didn’t even notice the small smile that had started to grow on her beak.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien waved Rarity goodbye with a cheerful claw as he mentally rearranged his day. A small laugh bubbled up from his throat; back home he wouldn’t have been able to take breaks from his wards for anything. They were some of the only things keeping him alive in most circumstances. His talons drummed along his beak thoughtfully as his mind swirled with appointments and possibilities. He still had a couple hours before the fillies would get here. Enough time to get started on another round of wards perhaps? No, best just let the smoke dissipate. Rarity had been able to smell it clearly and he had to assume most ponies had similarly keen noses. The fillies would undoubtedly be more intrusive than her and he didn’t want to be held responsible if he ended up teaching them blood magic or something.
Could ponies use his kind of magic? It did just take belief and willpower, something he was sure the three little fillies had in abundance. Their personal reservoirs of power were, like all ponies, immense. NO! He quickly squashed that train of thought. He may be irresponsible, chaotic, and heedless of the safety of others at times but even he could see that giving all three of those walking disaster zones a single spell could and would come back to haunt him.
With a small shudder he returned to reorganizing his day. Doing more wards was probably out for the rest of the day. He had been planning on hunting down Lyra and Bon Bon. After Luna’s visit last night he figured one of them must have figured out what he was. Visiting Twilight was also on his list of things to do simply because that’s where all the books were. He still had a lot to learn after all.
He nodded happily to himself as he made his decision. Some more time at the library would do him good. Learn some more about Equestria, learn some more… relatable stories to perform when he got back into his storytelling, maybe even worm some state secrets from Celestia’s pupil! The last thought put a bouncy spring in his step as he gathered up his satchel and went through his customary checklist. It never hurt to be prepared after all.
<-[XXXXX]->
Twilight was pacing back and forth in the library, her thoughts raced as she contemplated the news she had received. The letter could have been a prank right? She had no idea when it had appeared on her desk. She had just woken up and it was there. But she doubted that anypony would actually try and pull a prank like this!
Her horn glowed as she levitated the scroll up to her face again and re-read it for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. Her eyes flick over a particular section several times. “As an outsider it is unknown what he is here for or even what he truly is or can do,” she read aloud. The letter wasn’t signed of course. That would have made the entire situation far too easy.
She shook her head as she tried to corral her thoughts. If this letter was true it would probably explain everything she had been wondering about Damien. Unfortunately it would also open up hundreds, thousands even, of new questions!
She mentally ran through everything she actually knew about Damien. He likes to tell stories, he is good at it, and he is good at manipulating others. That one was dangerous. Could he have been manipulating her too? Although his manipulations had been him trying to get Gilda to accept help. That can’t be all bad then right?
Another shake of her head. He can use magic even though he isn’t a mane, and those were the only type of griffon that could use magic, right? Does that mean he isn’t really a griffon? And what could his magic do anyway? All she had seen him do was take a picture of… something. She supposed it was a little more convenient than carrying around a camera and the picture was very high quality, another reason it had needed to die. That couldn’t be all his magic was good for right?
Her eyes widened. He was a strange being that had apparently headed right for Ponyville and had already made connections with herself and Pinkie. Two of the Elements of Harmony. With Gilda he had an excuse to get close to Dash too! Could he be planning on doing something with the elements? Should she send a letter to Princess Celestia? NO! She couldn’t do anything yet! She had to learn more about him, about what he was doing. And she would have to be as stealthy as possible about it.
Not ten seconds after she made her decision she heard the library door open.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien mentally cursed his wandering eyes. What had originally been intended as a quick trip to the library had devolved into a shopping trip the moment he saw that several stalls that hadn’t been there yesterday had been set up. Of course as soon as he had picked up a couple artichokes and some asparagus he had remembered the pie he had gotten from Applejack yesterday. The pie he had eaten in a single sitting. Gates that thing had been good.
A predatory gleam shone in his eyes as he headed over to the cart. A grin quickly formed as he saw Applejack notice him.
“Well if it ain’t Damien. Gonna try and convince me to give ya a discount this time too?”
“But of course! The art of haggling is something one must always make use of!” He cast a rueful look around the market. “Besides, you’re the only one that comes close to actually presenting a challenge. So few of these ponies actually have the spine for true bartering.”
“Ah reckon they’re just a mite scared of ya. Griffon’s ain’t exactly know fer bein’ nice.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And I’m nice?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Ya don’t go ‘round roarin’ at everypony that gets in yer way. Ya don’t cause trouble and ya don’t bully anypony. Sounds pretty nice ta me.”
“Bah, I’m practical. There’s no point causing problems if it doesn’t benefit me.”
“Whatever ya say.” She gestured to the assortment of apple products in front of her. “What can Ah get for ya today?”
“Pies. Five of them.”
“Five? Didn’t you buy one yesterday?”
“Yeah… that ended up being my dinner. Didn’t want to deal with cooking at the time.”
“Ah see.” She pulled five delicious pies out from her cart. “Thirty-nine bits.”
Damien smiled and placed the money on the cart, then moved a full third of the pile off to the side. “How about twenty-six?”
“Not happenin’,” She moved all but one of the bits back to the main pile with a pointed look. “You moved here with Gilda right?”
“Yeah, met her in the forest, she helped me out so I owed her.” He moved some bits from the pile. “Loyal customer.”
“Two days ain’t proof of loyalty.” Applejack once again moved all but one bit back. “You know what she’s here for?”
Damien moved the bits around again. “Think she wants to befriend Dash again, though if Pinkie has anything to say about it she’ll be friends with half the town before the week is out.”
Applejack looked at his newest counteroffer for a moment before starting to move the one bit pieces around. “Thought so. You reckon she’s willin’ to go through all that or not?”
Damien quickly moved the bits around. They were down to changes of a couple bits between offers. “Think so. Got a lot of hurt pride. Get her feeling better and she’ll probably do anything. Why?”
Applejack moved a single coin. “Dash wants all of us to meet up later today. She was actin’ mighty suspicious ‘bout it too. Thought it might have something to do with Gilda.”
Damien narrowed his eyes at Applejacks offer for a few moments before nodding and sliding the remaining bits back into his pouch. “Probably. Gilda has a play date set up with Dash later. Sounds like she’s in for a shock.”
Applejack nodded as she let him place the pies in his satchel. “Reckon yer right. Take care now.”
Damien nodded as he glanced at the sun. He should probably be heading back home now. The crusaders were probably going to get there sometime in the next half hour if his guess was right. Humming tunelessly to himself he set off at a jog back home, a pity he hadn’t managed to actually stop at the library.
<-[XXXXX]->
“Gilda!” Twilight yelped as the griffon entered the library.
“Uhhh, hey,” Gilda said hesitantly as she rubbed the back of her head with a talon.
“I… didn’t really expect you to come back here so soon. You don’t really seem like the ‘book’ type.”
“I… Actually I’m here to ask you something.”
Twilight’s eyes widened slightly. “What do you need?”
“Well I’m meeting up with Dash later and Pinkie said that ‘everypony’ would be there. I kinda wanted to know what she meant by that.”
Twilight looked slightly confused. “I guess she meant all six of us.” At Gilda’s expectant look she continued. “Well there’s me and Pinkie. You already know us though. Then there’s Fluttershy, she-”
“Lives over by the Everfree. I already know her… a little.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she always helped bandage me and Dash up when we got hurt doing stupid stuff.” She rolled her eyes with a smile. “We kept her pretty busy.”
Twilight smiled at the look on Gilda’s face. Maybe getting her to make more friends would be easier than she had thought. “Well next is Rarity, she’s a unicorn fashion designer.”
Gilda’s head moved back with an expression of disbelief. “Dash is friends with a fashion designer? Dash? Thinks that she’s already perfect Dash? Never wears clothing if she doesn’t have to Dash? With a fashion designer?”
Twilight couldn’t help but chuckle at Gilda’s disbelief. The two did make a somewhat odd pair. “Yes. Rarity is very meticulous about everything and a very generous pony. Don’t be surprised if she tries to give you a makeover when she sees you.” She paused for a moment. “She also really likes romance and drama so don’t be surprised if she acts a little… eccentric.”
Gilda merely nodded mutely at this. There was no way she was going to let some prissy little pony mess with her feathers if she had anything to say about it.
“Last is Applejack. She’s an earth pony farmer. She’s very strong and competes with Dash quite often. Anytime Ponyville has any sort of athletic event you can count on them both to be there.”
“That sounds more like Dash,” Gilda said happily.
“Applejack is a little like the opposite of Rarity, very down to earth and straightforward.”
Gilda nodded at this thoughtfully. “I was worried that Dash’d be dragging a bunch of dweebs along to try and push my buttons or something from what Pinkie said. I can handle you, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. Applejack sounds like she might be fun and I’m sure Rarity isn’t going to be too bad.”
“Everything will work out fine, trust me,” Twilight assured the still nervous griffon. She looked at a clock on the wall before continuing. “It’s getting close to noon; we better head to the restaurant if we don’t want to be late.”
“Uhh, sure thing,” Gilda said awkwardly as she headed for the door. Everything will work out just fine, she assured herself. She cast a furtive glance down the street. Just fine.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien glanced back and forth as he stalked through the house, his talons twitching expectantly as he glared into every shadow and corner. The corridor was silent except for the soft click of his claws on the smooth wooden floor. He slowly passed through the doorway leading back to the foyer when he heard a soft intake of breath.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER AMBUSHERS CHARGE!” the three fillies cried out as they detached themselves from the ceiling and dive bombed towards Damien’s unprotected back.
Damien quickly found himself trapped under a giggling pile of ponies and couldn’t help but join in with the laughter. “Congratulations, you got me that time.”
The fillies all stood up immediately and examined each other’s flanks expectantly, only to moan in disappointment when their searching gazes were met with nothing.
“I was sure we’d get our cutie marks that time!” Applebloom moaned despondently.
Damien grinned. “That’s probably for the best; I don’t think ambushing griffons is a very useful special talent.” He laughed again as he saw the grumpy looks on each of the crusaders faces. “Maybe if you tried something more practical? I doubt many ponies got their marks simply by causing chaos with random stunts.”
Sweetie Belle was the first to speak up. “You don’t understand. You’re a griffon. You didn’t have to worry about cutie marks.”
Damien flicked her on the forehead. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t have trouble figuring out what I was meant to do. Made it harder actually. I didn’t have a handy little tattoo that appeared when I figured out what my talent was.” He smiled at the ancient memory. It was an undignified one to be sure but it had marked his start down the twisting paths of deception and subterfuge.
Scootaloo looked curiously up at the smiling griffon. “And what is your talent?”
“Books. Book and stories.”
The three fillies looked incredulously at him for a moment. “Like a librarian?” Applebloom piped up.
“Not in the slightest. My talents deal with what’s in books. The knowledge they hold and how it applies to the world. Stories shape reality and reality shapes the stories, knowledge tells you how to use the world and the world changes in response, an infinite cycle that those with the cunning to see it can understand and manipulate.” He grinned. His statement was met with silence.
“Let’s try this again. People like to act out stories they like right?”
The fillies nodded at this, most of their ideas for cutie marks came from cool sounding stories.
“So if someone knows what stories a person likes they’ll know what that person will probably do. If I were to tell you a story about the fire breathers of outer islands, specifically how they performed their act.” He paused and shot the expectant fillies a stern look. “And I won’t. Then I would be able to predict what you three would likely do the moment you got out of eyesight.”
The crusaders did their best to look innocent. They somehow even managed to form little halos over their heads. Damien didn’t buy it for a second.
“As long as I know what stories you’ve heard and what you like about them I’ll be able to predict what kind of stunts you’ll try to pull. A hero will act out the heroic ballads, a romantic will go for the tragic romances and the like. Once I know that it becomes easy to figure out how to stop you from doing them. That’s what my talent means.”
“Could you teach us to-” Scootaloo began.
“No. My talents require me to read every book I can get my hands on and listen to every story I can. I doubt you three have the… temperament for such marathons of studying.”
All but Sweetie Belle looked thoroughly turned off the idea by the mention of studying. “Since you’re so good at figuring things out can you figure out what out cutie marks are?” she asked.
“I don’t know any of you well enough for that. Besides, isn’t the entire point of a cutie mark something that you find for yourself?”
They looked crestfallen at his inability to help them.
He rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t mean I’m unable to help you out though. I’m sure we can find your special talents soon enough.”
They brightened at that. “But nothing we come up with works. What if you tried to teach us something?” Scootaloo asked excitedly.
Damien lowered his eyes as he started running through a list of things he might be able to teach the fillies. Pretty much anything involving his previous occupation was probably a bad idea. Even with his limited exposure to the crusaders he knew teaching them how to make deathtraps, fight, either unarmed or not, or use magic, especially use magic, would end in disaster.
He doubted that hero slaying would be a well-received talent, along with demon summoning, torture, or any of the other less savory arts he had perfected over the years. His eyes widened in surprise when he realized just how few benign skills he had mastered over the years. He paused for a moment on sleight of hand but they probably didn’t have the necessary manual dexterity for most of the things he could show them. Cooking was something they had certainly tried before and he was not about to sacrifice the contents of his kitchen to them quite yet.
An evil grin slowly formed as he had an idea. “I don’t think anything I can teach you would work out. But I do know what always helps people come to terms with themselves and grow as people.” He looked down at the three fillies. “Let’s go on an adventure.”
“Damn damn damn damn DAMN!” Damein shouted as he shot down the street, wings beating furiously. “How the gates did you even manage to blow up the entire cart of lemons?!”
“I don’t know!” Sweetie Belle moaned from where she was tucked securely under one forelimb.
“That was awesome!” Scootaloo shouted form her position atop Damien’s back. “Fly higher! Fly higher!”
“Yes, because Zest isn’t going to notice the only damn griffon in the sky and think it’s us!” Damien growled at her. “We need to stay low to the ground and make as many turns as we can.”
“Uh-huh. What else?” Applebloom asked from under Damien’s other forelimb.
“Then we-” He glanced down at her, surprised at her sudden acquisition of pencil and paper. “Are you writing this down?”
“Yep! Gonna need it when we try bein’ Cutie Mark Crusader Escapers!” She paused for a moment. “Or the next time we accidently set somethin’ on fire.”
“Or blow it up,” Sweetie Belled added mournfully.
“Oh, okay then.” He looked down at Applebloom again. “First thing you need to do is keep your advantages in mind. You three are small and have a lot of energy. Make them chase you for a long time through small openings, tunnels, and the like.”
“Tree!” Scootaloo yelled.
Damien didn’t bother to look up as he banked sharply and nearly threw the small pegasus off his back. “Second is that you want to try and stick around areas where you can blend in. It’s easier to hide a filly on playground than in a library.” Applebloom nodded seriously and scribbled down more notes.
“Lastly you need to let them think they know what you’re doing and fool them at the last second. Run into an alleyway that’s known to be a dead-end, but just happens to have a crack just big enough to fit a filly. They’ll think they have you and then bam! You’re gone.”
“Rock!” Sweetie Belle shouted.
Damien swept up higher into the sky. Causing Sweetie Belle and Applebloom to miss the rock by inches. “You get all that?”
“Yep!”
“Excellent! Just make sure you keep all that in mind and know the lay of the land and you’ll be able to escape from anyone!” he said happily to the beaming Applebloom. “We should probably lay low for a little while. Give Zest some time to cool off. You three know of anywhere we could hide for a few hours?”
“We could go to Zecora’s,” Applebloom said as the pencil and paper vanished to wherever ponies put their things. Damien never had really figured that one out.
“Zecora?” Damien narrowed his eyes in concentration. “The zebra right?”
“Yeah! She’s awesome at making potions and stuff!” Scootaloo said.
“Alright then! Just point the way and we’ll be there before you know it!”
<-[XXXXX]->
Gilda poked at her plate non-committedly as she cast a furtive glace around the table. Dash and all her friends seemed to be just as unsure of what to do as she was. All except Pinkie Pie of course, she was busy figuring out how high she could stack the various condiment jars. Apparently each of them had figured out what Dash’s real reason for getting them all together was and they weren’t exactly thrilled about it.
Eventually Applejack spoke up. “How’d you and Dash end up meetin’ anyway? Not many griffons round here."
Gilda’s eyes snapped to the orange earth pony across from her. Finally! Something to break the awkwardness. “Dash and I met at flight camp. Most of the ponies there weren’t very welcoming to anyone who was too different or unique… You can’t get much more different than being a griffon in a camp full of ponies or being the only one with a natural rainbow mane.” She smiled sardonically. “We were pretty much forced together when everyone else decided they didn’t want anything to do with us.”
Dash nodded slowly. “The only one there that didn’t make fun of us was Fluttershy.” She smiled. “Of course she usually spent her time looking at birds or bandaging up whoever had managed to crash into something.”
Gilda grinned. “Dash and I were her best patients. Probably ended up being helped by her every other day. At least.” That conversation topic managed to keep things going for a good hour as Dash and Gilda regaled the others with tales from flight school, with the occasional anecdote from Fluttershy of course. Gilda was ecstatic, she hadn’t felt this good since she and Dash had parted after flight school. Even if they weren’t really doing anything that was actually cool hanging with Dash’s friends was turning out to be not that bad. It didn’t help that they all expressed interest in the various tricks and stunts that she and Dash kept talking about.
Eventually though there was a lull in the conversation, a lull that was soon exploited by Rarity. “I’ve heard you’re rooming with Damien.”
Gilda groaned and turned to face her. “Yes I am renting a room in the freak’s house.”
Neither of them noticed Twilight stiffen at the mention of Damien.
“Hey! You shouldn’t call your friend a freak!” Pinkie Pie scolded
“I’m only sayin’ it because it’s true. I don’t know what he is but he is not a griffon.
“He looked like a griffon to me,” Dash supplied.
Gilda turned to her. “I’ve seen him use magic.”
Dash nodded. “Okay, yeah. Definitely not a griffon then.” She looked around at the questioning looks of her friends. “Normal griffons don’t use magic. Only Manes can do that and he’s definitely not a Mane.” She looked back and forth. “What? I know things!”
“Yeah, that and he doesn’t even bother hiding it.” Gilda shrugged. “Not really sure why he’s pretending to be a griffon and I don’t care.”
“Then what is he?” Twilight asked apprehensively.
“Like I said, I don’t care.” She looked over at Twilight. “If you really want to know then you should ask him. He doesn’t really seem to care about hiding anything and would probably tell you way more than you need to know if you just ask.”
“So you don’t know anything about him at all?”
“Not much. Why?”
“Yes darling, why so interested in Damien?” Rarity asked with a smile.
Twilight blushed as Rarity’s insinuation. “No! It’s… I…” She shook her head stubbornly, there was no way she was going to mention the letter right now. “I’m just curious why he can use magic if he’s not a Mane.”
Rarity smiled quietly as she turned back to Gilda. “So there’s nothing between you two?”
“No,” Gilda replied with a scowl. A sly look suddenly crossed her face. “Are you interested in him?”
Rarity looked pensive for a moment before replying. “No. He’s a tad over the top and dramatic when the moment strikes him. It’s a little strange.” She looked around at her friends, all of which were staring at her incredulously. “What?”
<-[XXXXX]->
Zecora was engaged in her daily meditations when she felt it. There was a darkness in the forest, a darkness that seemed to be coming towards her. She breathed deep as she tasted the air around her. Whatever it was it wasn’t malevolent, but it was very dangerous and moving very quickly. The only time she had felt anything like this was when the crusaders had come by to try and get alchemy cutie marks. She smiled at the memory. It was a good one, even if she was still finding shards of her old cauldron scattered in the forest.
She opened her eyes and looked around her small hut. Her various powders and potions were all within easy reach in case her incoming visitor was more hostile than it seemed to be. With a sigh she leaned forward and let herself topple from the staff she had sat on for the last two hours.
She waited for several minutes before she heard the telltale signs of large wings ripping through the air come to a halt outside her hut. Despite herself she felt a small trill of trepidation run down her spine. The moment of truth had arrived. All this dramatic tension was completely ignored by her visitor as it knocked politely on her door. A wry smile crept across Zecora’s muzzle as she heard voices arguing outside her door. Three of which she recognized quite easily.
“What are you doing here my crusading friends, perhaps for last time you wish to make amends?” she asked as she opened the door to the sight of Damien and the three crusaders caught in the middle of what seemed to be a whispered argument.
Damien’s eyes widened slightly at Zecora’s greeting, a small smile appeared as he felt out the rhythmic rhyming patterns of Zecora’s speech.
“Hey Zecora! We thought we’d introduce ya to Damien!”
“Or perhaps you desired instead to hide, and brought him along for the ride?” Zecora asked the crusaders, not trusting their innocent gazes for a second. She turned to regard Damien cautiously. “I suppose you have been caught up in their latest folly, or perhaps joined in in hope of times quite jolly?”
“Indeed my fine mare it is so, I am not surprised that you know,” he said, a competitive smile on his beak.
“To respond with to me with rhymes in kind, quite a hard task you will soon find,” she said with a smirk.
The three fillies stopped attempting a facade of innocence and instead began arguing quietly about how long Damien would manage to last against Zecora.
“I task I hope to conquer soon, my skill with words is quite a boon.”
“You play well my griffon foe, but the end to this I already know. But please now do come in, for I feel I have a game to win.” She bowed slightly as she gestured to the interior of her hut.
Damien returned the bow with a small nod as he padded into the small hut, the crusaders close on his heels. “I thank you sincerly for housing us, I hope these fillies will cause no ruckus.”
As Damien and Zecora continued their verbal sparring the three fillies in question were looking around the hut with the usual fascination a trip to Zecora’s usually engendered. It didn’t take them long to find that not only had Zecora gotten her hooves on another cauldron but she had expanded her stores of herbs and powders. The three fillies turned back to see just how preoccupied Damien and Zecora were with each other before returning their gaze to the cauldron before them with an eager gleam in their eyes.
“From a world far away I came, to relax, be lazy, and more of the same.”
“And you come in peace and not in war? Better than many would have feared for.”
“Indeed their fear to me was plain, though dispelling it was not a pain. But now I am here with fillies in tow, perhaps I could learn some of what you know.” Damien waved at the various herbs that festooned the walls.
Zecora’s eyes followed his talon and stopped as they fell upon the three fillies in question, about to add several items to a simmering cauldron. A panicked look shot across her face as she shouted at them, “do not add those to the brew! You know not what it will do!”
Startled by the sudden shout Scootaloo dropped the strange spikey leaf she had been holding into the pot. As soon as the herb was submerged the concoction began to bubble dangerously and hissed menacingly.
Damien and Zecora both shot forward as the cauldron began to froth and overflow with a sickly green goop. With a practiced ease Zecora scooped each filly under a forelimb and threw them bodily from the hut. Damien instead tore deep cuts into both his palms and slammed them near the cauldrons red hot base. He grimaced as the hot metal seared his hands and began to chant quickly. With each word a sigil flared into existence around him. Every sharp edged sigil seemed to burn a hole into reality and suck in the surrounding light greedily. Within seconds the air was filled with these sigils as Zecora looked on cautiously and the crusaders peeked back into the hut with wide eyes.
Damien grimaced as a sheet of ice began to from over the cauldron, undaunted by the fire. The ice quickly moved up over the lip of the cauldron and began to freeze the bubbling brew within. Zecora relaxed considerably as the potion was turned into little more than an inert block of ice.
“That was awesome!” Scootaloo shouted as she burst back into the cabin.
“I didn’t know griffons could use magic like that,” Sweetie Belle added in awe.
“Normally a griffon can cast no spell, a fact all too few know well,” Zecora said as she looked at Damien warily. His boasts had been one thing but to see his magic at work was another entirely.
From in front of the cauldron Damien suddenly spoke up. “A little help here? My hands are kinda frozen to this thing.”
Silence reigned in the hut for several moments as Damien’s statement floated through the air.
“Ah pit. That didn’t rhyme,” he grumbled as the giggling crusaders raced over to him, right past a smugly smiling Zecora.
<-[XXXXX]->
Gilda felt strangely at peace as Dash’s friends, her friends now too? All left the diner, each one having to head out to meet prior engagements. She had thought she would be able to fake getting along with each of them if it meant patching things up with Dash but she hadn’t expected to actually enjoy hanging out with them all.
“Wow, that went way better than I thought it would,” Dash suddenly said from behind her.
“Thinking never was your strong suite,” Gilda replied quickly as she turned back to her old friend. She smiled as she realized that she just might have really done it. She just might have managed to get Dash back.
“I’m serious featherhead. I expected you to snap or something, not join in with the conversation so much.”
“Yeah well, I had fun. Those friends of yours aren’t that bad.”
“Ha! So you admit you were wrong about them being dweebs?”
Gilda chuckled. “They’re still dweebs, but they’re cool dweebs.”
Dash shook her head in wonder but it was as close as she was probably going to get to an apology from Gilda. She smiled, another thing the two had in common. “Whatever you say.” She looked back at her, her eyes gleaming. “Race ya to the Everfree.”
“You’re on,” Gilda responded with a grin.
<-[XXXXX]->
The two speedsters collapsed in a heap just outside the forest, out of breath and ecstatic. Dash had forgotten just how much Gilda could push her when it came to a race. No one in Ponyville came even close to her in terms of speed or love of trick flying. Her friends might make a good audience but not even Fluttershy was able to really appreciate everything that went into a good flight. With Gilda she could really go all out and know that someone actually understood what that meant.
“Man I haven’t flown like that since the last time you came to visit,” Dash said breathlessly.
“Same here. I was worried I might actually have gotten a bit out of shape for a few seconds. Either I’m still as sharp or you’ve been slowing down.”
“Hey! I never slow down!” Dash replied indignantly as she punched her friend’s shoulder with a laugh.
Soon Gilda was laughing as well, simply enjoying being able to relax like this. They stared up at the sky in silence after their laughs slowly ceased, happy to have reconnected. “Hey Dash.”
Rainbow Dash rolled onto her side to face Gilda. “Yeah?”
“About what happened last time.”
“You still on about that? Everypony’s happy with you and we’re back to hangin’ out. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Gilda shot her an annoyed glance. “Not that. The other thing that happened last time.”
Dash’s face fell. “Oh, that.”
“Yeah.” Gilda sighed and turned back to the sky, looking for the words she had to say but didn’t want to.
“Gilda-” Dash began before Gilda clamped her talon down on the pegasus’s mouth.
“Not now Dash. It’s my turn to talk.” She sighed again. “I understand okay. I’ve thought about it and I get it. I don’t want to but I can’t change that. No one can.” She looked over at Dash sadly. “I just needed to say that for me. I don’t think we’d have lasted without clearing that up right?”
Dash nodded slowly. “Like I said I’m sorry but-”
“Shut it dweeb,” Gilda grumbled as she stood back up and shook herself off. She flexed her wings experimentally and turned back to Dash. “Race ya back to town.”
Dash grinned in response and got to her hooves. “You’re on. If you ask nicely I might even give you a ten second head start.”
“Ha! You should be asking me for that handicap Dash,” Gilda shot back.
The two fliers stared each other down for several more seconds before they both burst into movement, rocketing towards the unsuspecting town. The past had been painful, the future uncertain, but for now they had a race to win.
<-[XXXXX]->
Twilight slowly made her way back to the library from the diner, Gilda’s words racing through her mind. Should she just confront Damien about the letter? No. That couldn’t possibly end well. If the letter was right Damien certainly wouldn’t take it well. If the letter was wrong she would be ostracizing him. Twilight groaned as she tried to work her way through everything she knew about the strange griffon. Her groan redoubled when she realized she knew next to nothing about him.
Maybe she really should just ask him about everything. Gilda had seemed confident that he would answer. But don’t bring up the letter! She had to find another way to try and bring up her questions. Maybe there was a book on interrogating griffons in the library, or one with instructions on how to covertly dig for information. Or maybe… A light bulb flicked on in her mind. A book! Not just a book the book on griffons! All she had to do was ask him about griffon culture! Say that she had started researching it after meeting him and some things didn’t add up! He wouldn’t know about the letter and she would be able to confirm or deny what it was saying! A perfect plan!
Her head held high and a jolly tune in her heart she trotted down the street to the library. She had a checklist to make if she was going to do this right.
Damien sat in the hut, still nursing his aching hands. He was pretty sure he had gotten some level of frostbite there. And then there were the blisters from the burns as well. He shook his head. Frostbite and heat burns within minutes of each other. Still better than last time he’s had to do something like this. At least it was healing, far faster than was normal for any mortal creature. Unfortunately that healing was also almost as painful as getting the wounds in the first place.
“Come now my griffon friend, you pain will soon be at an end,” Zecora told him as she trotted over with a jar of pale green ointment and began to smear it liberally on his talons.
He nodded thankfully as he turned to glare at the crusaders. “Do they always do stuff like this when they’re here?” he asked Zecora.
“Indeed they do, they often try to make a brew.” She spared a glance at the fillies who had the decency to look ashamed. “Never have they made one well, they always blow my cauldron straight to hell.”
Damien chuckled as he looked over at the crusaders. “Haven’t even known them a week and I’m already surprised they haven’t got a demolitions or pyrotechnics cutie mark. They seem to be good enough at it.” He shook his head in wonder. “But enough about out little destroyers. Before I lost our little game I was asking about your alchemy.”
“I remember your query too, it would be a pleasure to make a student out of you. Far too few wish to know, the old ways they often forgo. I can teach you herb and root, what tales are true and which to refute.” She glanced over at the crusaders. “Such knowledge is to be carefully applied, I’m afraid to them it must be denied. I know not what with it they would do, but I know it would not be good for me or you.”
“Come back later without the impressionable audience lacking in forethought. Got it,” Damien translated. He turned over to the sulking crusaders with a chuckle. “You girls think Zest has finally gotten over our little mistake?”
<-[XXXXX]->
They never had a chance to figure out whether or not Zest had forgiven them, or if he had managed to put out his mane, because the first thing they found when they reached Damien’s house was Pinkie Pie decorating the place for another party.
As soon as she saw them enter the, until seconds earlier locked, house she gasped. “Applebloom! Damien! Scootaloo! Sweetie Belle! You’re here early!” she cried.
“Early for what? Are ya throwing another party?” Applebloom asked as she nudged at a nearby balloon.
“Yuppers!” Pinkie confirmed with a vigorous nod.
“And you’re having it here because..?” Damien asked.
“OH!” Pinkie gasped and hopped down form the ladder she had been using to help decorate the ceiling. “Well I ran into Gilda today and she wasn’t being a Meanie McMeanie and then I realized that I hadn’t thrown her a party yet well I had thrown her a break Gilda up with Dash party but I hadn’t thrown her a good party so I had to make it up to her with a good party and then she made up with Dash so I had to hold another party for her to celebrate and I had only thrown a welcome to Ponyville party for you and not for Gilda so I decided to throw both parties at once but they had to be surprise parties so I’m setting them up here because she’ll be with Dash all day and I can get everything ready and get everypony here before she ends up coming back and I know she’ll come here eventually because she lives here!” she explained in one massive breath.
Damien waited a moment, or rather several seconds, as Pinkie took in massive breath to replenish what she had spent on her explanation. “And it didn’t occur to you to ask before you set up the party in my home?”
“Well are you mad?”
“A little annoyed but-”
“Do you not want there to be a party?”
“I never said tha-”
“Then it’s okay!”
“But I-”
Pinkie didn’t wait for him to respond but turned to the crusaders. “Hey! Wanna try getting Party Planning cutie marks?” The three fillies immediately lit up at her suggestion and within seconds they were hanging streamers, filling balloons, and generally making a mess of Damien’s living room.
Damien’s beak clacked shut before he shook his head in wonder. It seemed to be pointless to try and go against the force of nature that was Pinkie Pie Party Mode. “Fine. I’m going to head out to pick up some sweets. Is there anything you want me to pick up?”
“Are you going to Sugercube Corner or Sweet Treats?”
“Sweet Treats. I need to talk to Bon Bon.”
“No thanks then!”
Damien nodded and asked the same of each of the crusaders. Soon he had a small list of candies and sweetmeats to bribe the crusaders with to ensure good behavior while he was gone. As soon as he stepped out his door he felt a familiar pair of eyes staring down at him. He smiled and headed down the street, a cheery bounce in his step.
<-[XXXXX]->
Lyra had been watching Damien’s house for the last hour, hoping to catch him doing something. She had rushed from the house earlier in the day in a fit of inspiration. She vaguely remembered Bon Bon trying to tell her something but had been in such a rush she hadn’t quite heard what it was. She would definitely get in trouble for that one but if she could catch Damien it would be worth it. Probably be worth it anyway.
Her jaw dropped in a mix of rage and exasperation when she saw Damien, crusaders in tow, approach the house from the direction of the Everfree. Had she been watching an empty house all this time!? She ground her teeth in fury as she watched Damien enter the house. She schooled herself into silence by reminding herself that now at least she knew Damien was in the house. Several deep breaths later she was able to turn her eyes back to the house and resume her vigilant watch.
She was quickly rewarded when Damien left the house within minutes of having entered. Her brief glimpse inside showed that Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to get into the house without anyone knowing. But then again that was normal for Pinkie. Pushing thoughts of the impossible mare from her head she saw Damien pause slightly before heading off down the street. Had he seen her? She had found several spells to disguise her presence but would it have been enough to fool Damien?
She waited for several moments to see if he would show any sign of having noticed her. However even as she left her hiding spot and began to shadow Damien down the street she still felt a small needling doubt about the extent of her success.
<-[XXXXX]->
Twilight skimmed over the list in front of her with a strangely relaxed look on her face. She seemed to almost glow as she mentally re-read the massive list of bulleted items. She ran a hoof down the now dry ink reverently. She had calculated every possible contingency for her confrontation with Damien. Her checklist had expanded beyond a mere listing of tasks to check off and into a complex roadmap of everything that could possibly happen as well as what to do in each circumstance.
“Uhhh, Twilight?” a sudden voice asked from behind her.
Twilight jumped a full foot into the air as she rounded on Spike, an embarrassed blush suffusing her cheeks. “NOTHING!” she squeaked.
Spike rolled his eyes when he noticed Twilight’s massive checklist. “Just don’t go crazy this time okay?”
“Hey! It’s not my fault they didn’t have any quills and we couldn’t complete the checklist!”
Spike didn’t respond as he headed to the basement. He had a panic kit to scrounge up.
Twilight huffed indignantly as she turned back to her masterpiece. He didn’t understand, no one ever understood the majesty of her checklists. With a massive grin she unrolled the checklist enough to see what the first item on the list was. Find Damien. Pretty straightforward but everything had to start somewhere. But where would he be? She could always just start at his house. That was the logical place to begin after all.
“Spike! I’m going to be leaving for a while. Make sure to keep an eye open for any visitors while I’m out okay?” she shouted into the other room as she headed for the door.
Spike sighed and rolled his eyes, she had just gotten back and was leaving already? “Sure thing Twilight,” he called out to her.
“Thanks Spike!” she called back as she left the library. She felt a bit sorry for leaving him alone in the library again. Maybe she should pick something up for him while she was out. Maybe a snack? It would have to be something with gems too. Pinkie could be convinced to add gemstones to some of her treats. Bon Bon too now that she thought about it. It had been a while since she had gotten anything from Sweet Treats she realized suddenly, she usually ended up going to Sugercube Corner when she wanted something sweet. She might even run into Damien on her way there too. Reassured about her new plan she turned and headed down the street.
<-[XXXXX]->
Bon Bon was rearranging the display cases when she heard the bell ringing. Her usual greeting died on her lips as she saw who had entered her store. “I was wondering when you’d show up,” she said with a smile.
“Am I really that predictable?” Damein asked with a smirk. “Although I suppose this does answer the question I came here to ask. How did you figure it out?”
“Apparently real griffons can’t use magic unless they’re something called a Mane. They’re supposed to be very distinct and the only ones that can use magic.”
Damien’s eyes widened slightly at that. “Huh, guess I should have learned more about what I was transforming into then. Thought I was kinda hoping that anything weird I did would just be explained away by me being a griffon.”
“WHAT!?” a shout from the corner echoed around the room. Bon Bo turned a shocked face to the corner as Lyra seemed to appear from nowhere in the corner. “You already knew!?”
It took only a few moments for Bon Bon to reply to Lyra’s outburst. “Yes. I tried to show you the letter Luna sent but you were too busy trying to learn that spell to tail Damien,” she explained.
Lyra blanched at the explanation.
Not wanting to lose her momentum Bon Bon continued, “and the first time you came back after tailing him I tried to explain my suspicions but you blew me off.”
Lyra’s face seemed to lose even more color. “You mean…” her voice trailed off.
“Yes. If you had just listened to me in the first place you wouldn’t have had to deal with all that,” Bon Bon said admonishingly.
“Are you two always this interesting or did I just catch you at a good time?” Damien spoke up.
Lyra seemed to regain her composure at the sound of Damien’s voice. “Shut up. This is all your fault anyway,” she grumbled.
Damien smiled innocently and shrugged. “Not my fault you didn’t listen to your friend here.”
“Don’t start with me! If you hadn’t been hiding things-”
“Who said I was hiding anything? Not my fault you didn’t just ask me straight up.”
“Ask you what?!”
“Pretty much anything. I would’ve answered,” he said with a smug grin.
“But you said-”
“Last time I said I would answer one question truthfully. I didn’t say I would only answer one question truthfully.”
Lyra was silent for several moments as her mouth moved up and down. Eventually she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I hate you so much right now.” She opened her eyes again and glared at him before turning to Bon Bon. “Sorry for not listening to you Bon Bon.”
Bon Bon smiled happily. “Apology accepted.”
This heartwarming scene was interrupted by the sudden jingling of the front door’s bell. All three of them turned to see Twilight looking back and forth awkwardly. “I'm not interrupting anything am I?” she asked nervously.
“Nah, you just missed Lyra and Bon Bon’s resolution. Pretty standard set up,” Damien supplied.
Bon Bon shot Damien a harsh glare for belittling the situation before turning to Twilight. “Can I help you find anything today?”
Twilight gave a start as her gaze snapped from Damien over to Bon Bon. “Yes! I mean, yes.” She blushed slightly before continuing. “I was hoping to pick up something for Spike. He really liked those ruby cordials you made him last month.”
Bon Bon nodded. “Sure thing! I’ll need to head out to get some rubies though, I usually don’t really need them for anything,” she chuckled as she turned to Lyra. “Do you think you can watch the shop while I’m gone?”
Lyra nodded her assent before taking up a post behind the counter. “Sure. How long do you think it’ll take?”
“Not too long,” Bon Bon called over her shoulder as she left the shop.
Damien grinned as he sauntered up to the counter. “Soooooo, you done trying to stalk me now that you know the truth?”
Lyra sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m going to stop trying to follow you around to figure out that you’re really a human from another world that Luna is already aware of,” she said in a very loud carrying voice.
Damien blinked in confusion as he saw a small triumphant smile drift across Lyra’s face. Recognition hit him as he turned to see Twilight doing her absolute best to try and look innocent and pretend that she hadn’t heard anything. Every so often her eyes would dart to her saddlebags longingly.
He rolled his eyes and turned his back, pointedly beginning a conversation with Lyra. “So, back to one of the reasons I came here in the first place. I need some candy to bribe the crusaders with so they don’t accidentally destroy my house with lemons.” He smiled as he heard the sounds of a scroll unrolling from behind him.
“Lemons?” Lyra asked confusedly before her eyes lit up with recognition. “Wait, that was them earlier today? Zest was ranting about how somepony had blown up his entire cart!”
Damien smiled. “And now you see why I want them happy. They can do enough damage without any actual incentive. So I’ll need…” he closed his eyes as he began to recite his list. “Two chocolate roses for Sweetie Belle, a gummy apple for Applebloom, and something called a Rainbomb for Scootaloo,” he recited. “And that walnut fudge looks really good; I’ll have some of that for myself.”
As Damien and Lyra continued their exchange Twilight scanned her massive checklist frantically. Her darting eyes quickly fell upon section 12, subsection e, contingency 14, titled: Apparently it’s not really a Secret. She sighed in relief at the title, for a few seconds she had been sure that Damien had managed to, accidentally, invalidate her entire checklist. And that would have been unforgivable. She quickly skimmed the, incredibly short, list of items for this contingency before rolling the scroll back up and trotting over to Damien.
“So why did you come to Ponyville anyway?” she asked him.
Damien was surprised by the brutal straightforwardness of her question, he had expected a more... nuanced approach from the studious unicorn. His surprised frown quickly became a grin as he responded, “retirement. Got bored of my job as overlord, tyrant, and general villain and decided to retire...” A dark look passed over his face. “Again. This time I decided to completely leave my home universe so that BITCH FATE COULDN’T ROPE ME BACK INTO HER GAMES THIS TIME!” he shouted at the ceiling as he shook a clenched talon in the air. He quickly turned his gaze back to his audience, who were staring at him like he was mad. “Sorry, old habits. Fate usually starts watching when I mention her.” He shrugged. “In any case I’m here to relax, meet new people and for once, not kill any of them. Hopefully anyway.”
Twilight was silent as she considered what he had said. Even she could tell he was being honest about the whole thing, but what if he really was dangerous? He could end up doing all sorts of damage if that letter was right about how strong he was. But he didn’t want to do anything other than sit around and do nothing right?
Her eyes widened as another facet of the problem arose in her mind. Here was a creature from an entirely different universe, a creature with magic that didn’t seem to be limited by what he was at the moment. Her eyes glinted with a sight hunger. This was an entirely new field of study she had never even known existed!
Damien watched the emotions play across Twilight's face with amusement followed by a slight trepidation at the gleam in her eyes. He’d seen something similar back when Vilcine had learned that she would be able to learn magic from him. He hadn’t been allowed to sleep until she cast her first spell, a week after she had gotten that idea in her head.
He slowly began to edge towards the counter and place his payment for the sweets next to his purchase. Moving slowly in an attempt to not catch the attention of Twilight he carefully lifted the bag and started to creep towards the door.
Lyra wasn’t going to have any of that though. With a sadistic smirk she called out cheerfully, “do you need anything else before you leave?”
Damien froze as Twilight came roaring out of her self-induced thought-coma and turned to face him. “Wait! I still have lots of question to ask you!”
Damien’s eyes darted back and forth. “Well I need to get home soon so we’ll have to do this later.”
Twilight smiled. “I could walk with you for a while, it’s no problem, I have Spike watching the library after all.”
Damien quickly began to grasp at whatever straws he could. “Well you said you were getting that ruby thing for him right? Bon Bon still isn’t back with it so-”
“Don’t worry Twilight, I can take your payment right now and deliver the ruby cordial to Spike as soon as it’s ready,” Lyra called out helpfully, a massive grin plastered across her face.
“Thanks Lyra!” Twilight called out as she trotted over to the counter to leave her payment. Unbeknownst to her Damien shot a venomous glare at Lyra over the unicorn’s shoulder the moment her back was turned. “Come on Damien, I have a lot to ask you.”
Lyra continued to smile and wave as she watched the pair leave the shop. Sure it had been kind of petty but oh well, it felt good.
<-[XXXXX]->
“But that doesn’t make any sense at all!” Twilight moaned. “You can’t just explain magic as ‘it’s magic it just works’! Magic has strict guidelines that regulate how it works for everypony!”
“For your magic maybe but not for mine! The guidelines are merely suggestions that do make the spells easier to cast but they are not required!” Damien retorted.
“But it’s so… unorganized! How does anyone actually learn anything when you can just make it up as you go along?”
“Because the more a method gets used the easier it gets to use. There are spells over a thousand years old that can be used to cast a spell for the merest fraction of the energy required to get the same effect with another method.”
“Then what about your casting methods? How did they get so strong?”
“By picking and choosing bits of folklore that already had belief behind them and using a carefully designed structure unique to me for the last five hundred years,” he explained
“But that invalidates your entire argument! You claim that the methods of others are more powerful because they’ve been used by so many but you also claim that your methods are better because only yo use them!”
“Because it’s a methodology that is solely associated with me by the populace. The magic is seen by others as my magic. Something unique to myself and no others. That belief makes up for my having to blaze the trail myself. After that consistent use over the centuries only increases its power.”
Twilight shook her head. In some strange, convoluted, nonsensical way it all made sense. Her eyes widened slightly as a new thought occurred to her. “What if an entire town started explaining anything somepony could do that was strange or unusual as it’s them, don’t question it?”
“Hypothetically it could end up making them capable of doing even more than they could before because everyone expects them to be able to defy normality.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped in shock. “That just might explain Pinkie Pie!” she exclaimed.
“Sorry but as far as I can tell she doesn’t use any magic at all to do those things. She just kind of… does them.”
Twilight looked incredulously at him for a moment. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am! My arcane senses have been finely tuned over the centuries to pinpoint precision and I can’t sense the slightest trace of a spell whenever Pinkie does… whatever it is she does.”
Twilight sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes. “Of course. Not even weird magic from another universe can explain Pinkie Pie.” She looked up. “Oh, we’re here already. That was fast.”
Damien glanced around in slight surprise too; the time had flown remarkably fast. He had expected things to go a lot more… annoyingly. “Well then I suppose that means this is-”
“Twilight! You’re almost late for Gilda’s surprise Welcome to Ponyville Party!” Pinkie shouted as she leapt from a bush in the front yard. “Hurry up and get inside quick! Gilda and Dashie will be getting here anytime now!”
Pinkie quickly shoved them towards the house without giving them any chance to resist. With resigned sigh both Damien and Twilight headed into the house to wait.
<-[XXXXX]->
Dash and Gilda swept down out of the sky at breakneck speeds only to come screeching to a halt just in time to land in front of the house safely.
“Man, I’m starving!” Dash announced as she flared her wings. “Heh, maybe the freak’ll make something for you if you ask him nice,” Gilda responded as she reached for the door. She froze suddenly as she remembered her encounter with Pinkie Pie earlier in the day.
“Something wrong?” Dash asked concernedly, noting her friends hesitation.
“Pinkie said she’d be throwing me a party later today, so I’m guessing the moment I open this door the entire town is gonna jump out at me.”
Dash looked at her friend incredulously. “I doubt it.”
“Really? Why’s that?” Gilda challenged.
“Because it’s what you think is going to happen. That means it’s predictable. And that means Pinkie isn’t going to do it.” To illustrate her point she reached out and opened the door. “See? Nothing inside except for-”
There was a loud shout from behind the two fliers as Pinkie burst out of a bush, party cannon at the ready. Before either of them could react there was an explosion of confetti and streams and a loud shout of ‘SURPRISE!’ from inside the house.
As soon as Gilda regained her footing she turned an icy glare on Dash. “You were right, it wasn’t the entire town that jumped out of the house, Pinkie hid in the bushes,” she grumbled.
Dash grinned meekly and shrugged. “Whatever, I’m going to hunt down the snack table. Pinkie’s parties always have an awesome snack table.”
Gilda glared after her friend for a few moments before her indignation was interrupted by a suger-propelled hug.
“Happy Welcome to Ponyville Party Gilda! I’m super super SUUUUUUUUPER glad you managed to make up with Dash and stop being such a meanie!” Pinkie cried jubilantly.
“Yeah… whatever,” Gilda responded as she eyed the stairs longingly.
“Ah, ah, ahhhh,” Pinkie tutted admonishingly. “No hiding from the party this time Gilda! You need to stick around so I can introduce you to everypony!”
“Oh yeah? And who’s going to stop me from leaving? You?” Gilda laughed. She stopped angrily when she realized that Pinkie was laughing along with her. “What’s so funny?”
“I’d never be able to stop you silly! You’d tear me apart,” she chirped happily. “Stopping you is his job.” She pointed off to the side where Damien stood by, waving at the two of the happily. A massive grin split his beak.
Gilda glanced back at Pinkie. “You really think the freak is gonna be able to stop me?” she asked incredulously as she took several steps towards the stairs. With each step Damien’s grin grew larger and his eyes became narrower. Gilda’s pace began to slow until it took her several seconds to take the last step to the stairs. She looked down at the first step and quickly glanced over at Damien, who was urging her to take another step with a look of barely restrained glee.
Gilda lifted a shaky talon and moved it to hover over the first step. She threw another quick glance at Damien to see him nearly bursting with anticipation. With a heavy sigh Gilda withdrew her talon and turned to Pinkie Pie. “Let’s get this over with.”
With a yelp of glee Pinkie shot over to the defeated griffon’s side and quickly led her into the crowd, naming ponies and shaking hooves all the way.
<-[XXXXX]->
Hours later the party finally wound down and Gilda felt she could finally escape to her room in peace. After all this party was lame and she certainly hadn’t enjoyed herself in the slightest. Never mind that she had gotten completely caught up in the besting Dash at the various party games or that the food that psycho had gotten was amazing. It was her party and it was lame, end of story. She groaned at as she realized just how hollow those words rang, even in her head.
“Enjoy yourself my dear?” came an annoyingly familiar voice.
“Shove off freak,” she responded without even turning around to face him.
“Oh come now, I saw you enjoying yourself as did everyone else here. You really need to stop clinging to that mask of aloofness. It isn’t working very well.”
Gilda grumbled for several moments before speaking up, “fine! I enjoyed myself alright! This party was awesome, these ponies aren’t dweebs and some of them are actually pretty cool! Pinkie’s parties aren’t completely lame!” She turned to face Damien angrily. “Happy now?!”
“Exceedingly,” he said with an enormous grin. With an air of immense smugness he tapped a small crystal he had been holding up in one talon. The crystal glowed slightly and suddenly Gilda’s voice emanated from it.
Gilda’s face lost all color as she heard her ranting confession played back to her perfectly. “No…” she whispered. Her face somehow managed to lose even more color as a familiar pink blur shot across the room.
“Did you get it? Did you get it? Huh? Huh? Huh?!” Pinkie asked excitedly.
“But of course my dear Ms. Pie! I am a professional after all,” Damien said with a grandiose bow. “Easiest five bits I ever made.” He paused momentarily, tapping a claw against his beak in thought. “Technically it’s the first five bits I ever made but my point still stands.” He tossed the small crystal to Pinkie Pie as Gilda stared on in shock. “Just tap the crystal and focus on wanting to hear what’s stored inside to activate it.”
“Thanks Damien! I need to go refill the punch bowl, later!” she remarked as she zipped off through the crowd. Gilda stared blankly into space for several moments while Damien watched on patiently. “Ya know what. I don’t care. I had fun and I know Pinkie isn’t going to spread that thing around. Just get rid of whatever you did to the stairs so I can go upstairs and go to sleep,” she finally said tiredly.
Damien blinked in confusion for a moment. “Oh! That!” he said suddenly. “Never did anything to ‘em. Just needed you to think I had.” With that he drifted off to a game of five-card stud a couple of ponies had set up, time to see if he could turn this five bits into something more.
Gilda stared dumbly at his retreating back for several more seconds before deciding it simply wasn’t worth the effort and headed upstairs. Going to sleep sounded like an even better idea than it had ten minutes ago.
“You’ve been visiting me every night for the last two weeks. Why?” Damien asked as yet another memory played out before him.
“Thou art entertaining and we enjoy your presence,” Luna responded with a smile as the memory of the day Damien was declared to be a hero of Moorehead played out around them.
Damien grimaced as the memory played on. Of course Spring would have declared him a hero alongside Martin. She had loved to get under his skin. He had paid her back in full whenever he could though so it wasn’t all bad. “How do you enjoy my presence? I despise you and all you stand for! I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned that several times.”
“Exactly!” Luna shouted. “Thy hate for us is not hidden behind a mask of politeness. Thou art frank with thy displeasure and do not hide it behind a courtly facade. You care not for protocol or rank, unlike far too many of the nobles that infest our court of late.”
Damien nodded at this. “Nobility,” he spat. “An inescapable plague that shows up everywhere, even across worlds.” He shook his head. “But you do realize that despite the openness of my distrust and dislike of you it is still just that. Distrust and dislike.”
Luna smiled. “But it is a distrust and dislike born not from our actions as Nightmare Moon but for being myself. Most of the ponies we meet fear that we will fall back to our old ways, that we are plotting something, that we are still the tyrant we tried to become. They tread lightly so as not to give the vengeful goddess a reason to hurt them or watch covertly to make sure we are not going to strike down our sister. We are surrounded by doubters and deceivers all wearing their courtly mask to hide their true feelings. All feelings stemming solely from my time as Nightmare Moon. They do not see our redemption as anything but a hoax. But thou dost not care for any of that. You see us as we are and not as we were. Thou hast no idea how much it means to us.”
Damien snorted. “You almost make it sound like we’re friends.”
Luna laughed. “Perhaps not in the way that you were with your old companions but perhaps as you were with Fate.”
Damien glared at her. “We were not friends.”
Luna shook her head slowly. “But thou were old enemies. Enemies that knew each other well enough to call upon the other with the same casual air a friend might have.”
Damien glared at her. “If you’re willing to accept something like that your standards are far too low. Go meet Twilight or some of the other elements. I’m sure they won’t turn you away. They’ll even like you!” He scowled as the dreamscape turned to another memory. One of Martin’s climactic battle against Aldred. “And why are you watching memories of my last retirement? They can’t be that interesting!”
“They are far less predictable than the ones of your time as overlord.” Luna waved a hoof and several images formed from the mist. “Hero receives quest to slay you.” Each image spoke to someone or heard something. “You receive news of their coming.” Each image shifted to Damien doing something, each one showed the same bored look on his face. “Each one has you face the hero and play into their trap.” The images showed Damien alternating between toying with the hero and going along with whatever their plan for killing him was. “Then you reveal that your countermeasures were already in place and they had chosen to step through the gates the moment they fought you.” Each hero died, in some cases rather painfully. “The same each time.” Luna sighed.
“Not all of them were the same,” Damien pouted.
Luna turned to face him. “It is true not all of them were as such. Would you like to relive the day you won the game?”
Damien’s eyes grew hard. “No.”
Luna smiled sadly as she returned to watching the memories flick by.
“Why do you keep letting us in?” she finally asked.
“Because if I didn’t you would do something else to try and get to me or you’d think I was starting to hide something.” He waved dismissively. “Besides, it gives me more time to familiarize myself with your soul. Keep these visits up and I might be able to craft spells specifically designed to defeat you in only eighty or ninety years.”
“But that would not help you against our sister,” Luna reminded him with a smirk.
“No but it would probably help me make your life miserable. How do you feel about waking to discover your coat is bright pink?”
Luna narrowed her eyes at him. “Thou would never dare-”
“Keep up these visits and we’ll find out in a century.” Damien smiled back sweetly.
Luna huffed and turned back to the dreamscape. “We have heard that several fillies and colts from Ponyville will be visiting the royal statue gardens tomorrow. You should go with them.”
Damien’s eyes widened. “Are you inviting me to the castle?” He shook his head in wonder at her silence. “You really are desperate for some form of companionship aren’t you? Well if those children are going to be there why not meet with them instead?” His eyes gleamed. “I’m sure the crusaders would have a blast meeting you and trying to get some sort of royalty related cutie mark.”
“They are the three fillies you have mentioned several times correct?” Luna looked around pensively. “Dost thou truly think they shall not fear me?”
Damien smirked. “Yeah. And if you can actually manage to drop the entire lapsing completely into old Canterlot when you’re nervous things’ll go even better.” He chuckled as he watched Luna sputter for a few moments.
“It is almost dawn,” she finally said.
“Yeah, yeah. Go tend to your deific duties and let a poor griffon get a few hours of actual sleep.” Damien waved her away dismissively.
Luna looked at him for several moments before smiling. “We thank you again for entertaining us this night.” She bowed deeply and dissolved into mist.
Damien shook his head and muttered, “at least she’s polite. Better than most other gods and goddesses I’ve met.” He yawned hugely as the dreamscape faded to a deep black and his form began to dissolve. “Now for some real rest,” he muttered as everything faded into the darkness.
<-[XXXXX]->
As usual it was a sunny and beautiful day in Ponyville as Gilda and Dash looped lazily through the air.
“There’s no way you can pull it off,” Gilda said for the twentieth time that day.
“Hey! I can do it! After all you’re looking at-”
“The only pegasus to pull off a Sonic Rainboom,” Gilda finished with a smirk. “I think that’s only the third time you’ve mentioned it this hour. Might be a new record.”
“Ha. Ha,” Dash deadpanned. “Like you never bragged.”
“Yeah, but not even I brag this much,” she returned with a grin.
“Whatever, you’re just jealous you can’t pull off a Sonic Rainboom,” Dash mock pouted.
Gilda smirked and smacked her on the back of her head. “You found out if the weather team needs anyone yet?”
Dash’s face fell slightly at this. “Yeah, we’re all full up right now. Cloud Kicker finally managed to straighten up and we’re back to meeting our quotas each day. Don’t need anyone new.” She looked apologetically at Gilda. “Sorry about that.”
“Nah, it’s fine. Damien’s been finding me odd-jobs when I need a little scratch. Pulling carts isn’t glamorous but it helps get me drinks. I’m just glad he set up the while vial of blood in exchange for room and board thing. Weird but what else can you expect from him?”
Gilda’s half-hearted acceptance was cut short as a cloud shot through the sky between them, sending them both twirling through the air. “What the buck was that?!” Gilda shouted as she glared after the cloud in question. Confusion quickly replaced anger as she got a good look at her attacker. “Is that cloud pink?”
“Yeah, I’ve never seen one like-” Dash stopped suddenly and pointed off to the distance. “Hey there are more of them!”
“The weather team has things under control eh dash?” Gilda quipped as she glared at the two groups of pink clouds.
“Don’t look at me! We didn’t have any clouds scheduled for today! And definitely not pink ones!” She glared around determinedly. “That group looks like it’s heading for Sweet Apple Acres. I’ll take care of it while you get rid of the ones around here.” She shot a glance and a grin to her friend. “Impress the right ponies with this and they’ll probably let you join the weather team.” With that each of them shot off after their respective quarries.
<-[XXXXX]->
“What the pit was that?!” Damien screamed as he picked himself up off of his knees. That… whatever it was had ripped right though his spell noise canceling wards like a battleax through a piece of waterlogged paper. He glared out the window in an attempt to see what had happened but was met with nothing unusual.
Seconds later another wave of magic ripped through his house and sent him back to his knees. Whatever was casting these spells was strong, far stronger than any creature had any right to be. Not even the gods and goddesses of his old home had wielded this much power. Worst of all what little he could tell about the spells seemed to hint at them being little more than casual conjurings. Cast with the same thought and effort he might give to a spell to keep his tea warm. Throwing around that sheer amount of magic like it was nothing…
He shuddered at the implications of the thought. Only to be stopped mid-shudder as yet another spell tore through his arcane senses, sending him to his knees as he writhed in pain. “That’s enough!” he screamed. Not even bothering to get up this time he began to chant as quickly as he could. The usual cloud of sigils formed in the air around him and quickly condensed to a single point that affixed itself to his forehead.
Just in time too. He felt another wave of magical energy rip through his house and crash against his new defenses. The spell still made him wince but at least he was still standing. He glared back outside and redoubled his defenses with another, more carefully cast, spell. When the next wave of magic came he still noticed it but it didn’t impair him in any way. “These ponies must be blind and deaf to magic if they can’t feel this,” he muttered angrily to himself as he threw open his door to see what exactly was going on. He immediately stepped into a puddle of… chocolate milk? He leaned down to inspect the puddle in question just as a torrential downpour began over his head, soaking him in the brown liquid.
He didn’t have the emotion to rage at this latest development. Things were obviously going downhill from here and would likely only get worse. Grumbling angrily he cast a spell to clean himself off and headed right back inside, locking the door tightly behind him. Some days it didn’t pay to leave the house.
<-[XXXXX]->
Luna woke to find the castle in shambles. The guards had all been transformed, corrupted, or otherwise incapacitated. She raced through the corridors searching frantically for her sister. She winced as she felt the moon shoot into the sky only to be replaced by the sun within minutes.
She burst into the throne room with a resounding crash to the sight of her sister crumpled on the floor. “CELESTIA!” she shouted as she rushed over to her prone sister’s side. “WHO HAS DONE THIS TO YOU?”
Beneath her sister’s hooves Celestia slowly shook herself awake. “Luna? Could you tone it down a bit? No need to use the royal Canterlot voice with just the two of us,” she chuckled weakly.
“WH- Who did this to you sister?”
“You already know who it was Luna.” Celestia groaned as she slowly made her way to her hooves.
“But that’s impossible! We sealed Discord millennia ago! He couldn’t have escaped!”
“But he did. When Twilight and the others took up the elements they lost their connection to us. To us and to the spell that kept Discord sealed.” She shuddered and almost collapsed as she tried to make her way down the hall. “Twilight and her friends tried to stop him but they failed.”
“Then… is there no hope for us?”
“There’s still a chance. One chance left. But we can’t let Discord know about it. We need to distract him.” Celestia turned to her sister. “You’ll need to distract him.”
Luna reeled back in shock. “But... We are no match for Discord without the power of the elements to help. What can we possibly do to stop him?”
“It’ll be up to Twilight and her friends to stop Discord. You just need to distract him long enough for Twilight to get ready. He’s in Ponyville right now. Go there and… do what you can. Please.” Celestia had finally reached the long stairwell leading to her room, her room and her collection of personal treasures.
“We cannot simply abandon you! We must-”
“You must go to Ponyville and help me by distracting Discord! Do whatever it takes! I’ll be fine here.” She looked morosely at the stairs in front of her. Why did her room have to be at the top of a tower anyway? She grimaced and started making her slow way up the stairs before turning back to Luna. “GO!” she shouted, utilizing the royal Canterlot voice for the first time in centuries.
“Y-yes sister!” Luna stammered as she turned and galloped towards the window.
<-[XXXXX]->
Discord was having a blast. It had been millennia since he had had such fun. Been millennia since he could actually move too but that didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was the chaos! The glorious glorious chaos! He skated down the soap roads and pirouetted through the air as something caught his eye. He paused mid spin and mid-air to gaze curiously at the scene before him. It was a house. A simple ordinary house.
He glanced left and right at all the other houses on the street. Yes, they were all cardboard cutouts now. He smiled as he remembered that little bit of chaos. But this house was a normal three dimensional house. His eyes widened in surprise as he noticed that it even had grass on its lawn. Not the wonderful checkerboard pattern he had decided to use for these acres of Ponyville but normal boring ho-hum blah grass!
He was just about to snap his fingers and change it all to be like the rest when he reconsidered. Sure it was a normal drab little house now but it did clash beautifully with all the cardboard cutouts and checkerboard grass. In fact changing it now would make it the same as the others! Make it conform to them! Make it, he shuddered, ordered! Yes, it was better like this after all. But he couldn’t take credit for it though. Apparently somepony, probably a unicorn, had been strong enough to protect their little house from his magic and that just wouldn’t do.
He narrowed his eyes and snapped his fingers before vanishing in a flash of light. His teleportation spell tore through the wards surrounding the house like tissue paper or a sandcastle. Mental note, make giant sand castle. With a flash of light he burst into the house and fireworks boomed out behind him. However instead of applause, gasps of recognition, or even a good old terrified scream he was met with an angry shout.
“Who the gates are you and what are you doing in my house?!”
Discord blinked in surprise. No one had actually stood up to him since he had taken care of Celestia’s guards and even they had been afraid of him and hesitant. He cocked his head in interest as he studied the griffon before him.
Damien’s rage at having his wards so easily brushed aside was slowly being replaced with fear. This was it wasn’t it? This was the creature that had been nonchalantly assaulting all of reality with its insane magic all day wasn’t it? He steeled himself; fear would do no good here. He would have to run for it. It would take time for him to redirect the energy that had been powering his wards to a teleport spell, precious minutes he might not have if he angered this creature in front of him. As he opened his beak to try and talk his way into more time he was interrupted by Discord.
“You’re a human!” he cried out in glee. “I haven’t gotten to play with one of you in forever!” He looked pensive for a moment. “Never really understood why you people stopped visiting. That was some prime chaos and entertainment for all!” He shrugged. “To each their own I guess. But we can’t have you join the party like that! Formal wear only I’m afraid.” Discord grinned as he pulled out a stopwatch and held it in front of himself, completely covering Damien from his point of view. With a creaking sound the watch’s hands began to turn backwards.
Damien stared in confusion at the creature for several seconds before he felt it. A burning pain spread throughout his body as the bones and muscles began to fall apart and shift. Organs disconnected and moved freely inside his body. His wings rotted and his fur fell from his body. The agony seemed to last for an eternity, every fiber of his being was on fire. Just as suddenly as it had started it ceased, leaving Damien a shuddering wreck on the floor.
He slowly opened his eyes as he felt the cool air on his skin. His eyes snapped open in shock as his mind processed this information. The air. On his skin. His skin. He quickly looked down at his hand to see elaborately decorated blackened steel covering a five fingered hand. He hesitantly brought the hand to his face to find it smooth and hairless He shakily stood up to stare at the creature in confusion and fear. It had just turned back time on him and completely undone the transformations he had put so much effort into.
“I-I’m back to my old form,” Damien breathed in shock. He slowly made his way to his feet and found that he was entirely clad in his old blackened steel armor. His eyes widened as he felt the magical energy running through his body.
Discord chuckled darkly. “I see you noticed the full effects of what I did.” He threw his arms wide. “You have been returned to your full power and glory. Given the strength denied to you to do as you will. The power that is yours by right, the power you can use to do whatever you want.” Discord’s voice seemed to slither through the air, full of promise and temptation.
“So what?” Damien asked curtly, a growing smile on his face.
Discord’s serpentine smile faltered for a moment. “But surely you want to show the gods of this world your true power? Show them not to mess with mortals? Give them reason to fear you as the gods of your old world did?”
“No. I have no reason to attack either Luna or Celestia. Luna may be annoying but I don’t really care what she does.”
Discord frowned. “I have returned your power to you! Isn’t there anything you want to do with it? Anyone to get revenge on? Anything!?”
Damien didn’t respond. Instead he twisted his hand into a strange gesture and felt the fabric of reality slip away. Only to be cemented back into place with a snap of Discord’s fingers.
“Ah, ah, ahhhhh. No teleporting away,” Discord admonished him.
“Pit,” Damien grumbled as he started to edge away from Discord. Before he could get more than a foot away Discord teleported to his side and placed a finger on his forehead.
Damien felt icy claws dig into his mind and everything went dark.
<-[XXXXX]->
Luna shot through the air towards Ponyville, her eyes flickering over the ground in a desperate attempt to find Discord. Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw the suffering of the ponies below her, suffering that she was unable to do anything to alleviate. Her eyes suddenly fixated on something that was off, a house that was completely untouched by Discord’s chaotic magic. She didn’t know what to expect from it, but its simple presence gave birth to a tiny flame of hope.
Before she could reach the house a massive gout of flame burst forth from the front of it, completely consuming the front yard. She froze midair and stared in shock at the burning house, tears once more springing into her eyes. In a panic she swept down to the burning home, summoning her magic to try and drive away the flames and save anypony that might have been inside.
She stopped just short of the flames when a body was thrown from the house and sent bouncing along the ground, eventually skidding to a stop a dozen yards from the house. From inside the house a tall thin form surrounded by hundreds of tiny runes that seemed to burn holes in reality materialized from the flames.
“Luna, a pleasure to see you. You are here for the corruptor?” the figure asked as it resolved into the form that she had only seen in Damien’s dreams. However something was off about him. His pale skin seemed to have become more ashen, his black and silver hair had lost its luster; even his blackened armor seemed dull and lifeless. He had been corrupted by Discord.
“D-Damien?!” she stuttered in shock, completely forgetting about the royal Canterlot voice. “You- Then-” She turned to the body she had seen skidding out of the house.
Discord picked himself up with a wide toothy grin. “Luna! It’s been years! I heard you’d been imprisoned on the moon! You naughty little filly, I’m so proud of you!” He disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared right next to her and gave her a crushing hug.
Her horn suddenly glowed and a massive magical shockwave tore through the air and sent Discord flying and slammed him into a nearby wall.
“Hit it harder,” Damien said as his hands flew through the air, tapping nearby runes while he chanted a second spell under his breath. The spells were completed within moments of each other bringing a massive spike of earth out from the ground and impaling Discord before freezing him solid in a block of ice.
Luna stared at the display in shock. “What are you-?” she started to say.
“Not dead.”
At Damien’s words the block of ice turned into gelatin and slid down the earth spike, Discord swimming through it like water. “That was pretty impressive. If you just tried to use that power to cause a little chaos you’d work wonders!” “Need more power, more time. Distract him,” Damien said gruffly to Luna as he charged towards Discord, his hands flying along the runes in front of him typing out another spell.
Luna paused for a moment before joining in with the charge, lightning crackling along her horn. Her eyes narrowed in determination as she sent a storm of lightning bolts ripping through the air before her.
Discord snapped his fingers and an upbeat waltz began to float through the air as he danced through the field of lightning. As he landed a particularly impressive twirl a wave of pure kinetic force ripped apart the ground around Discord. A force he completely avoided by bringing up a tacky umbrella. He smiled as the energy simply washed over the umbrella held smugly over his head. He spun again and turned it inside out, sending a deluge of water rushing towards his opponents.
Damien swept his arms in front of himself and threw up a barrier of black runes to shield himself and Luna from the water. “Won’t talk anymore. Need to focus on spell,” he said curtly.
“Oh! You have a plan! How fun!” Discord said happily as he popped up out of the ground between them, throwing an arm around each of them and drawing them close.
Luna swung her head to the side in an attempt to stab at Discord as Damien flicked his wrist, seemingly pulling a knife from nowhere as he attempted to do the same. They both stopped just short of striking each other as Discord popped like a bubble and appeared in front of them doing the backstroke through the air.
Damien didn’t say anything, instead continuing to chant his latest spell undeterred. He swung his knife across a small unprotected section of his palm and threw out the injured hand. Droplets of blood swam through the air and landed on several runes. Tridents of ice rose up out of the puddles around them and flew at Discord.
Luna joined in the flurry of tridents as she alternated between trying to smash Discord with her hooves and sending crackling beams of electricity towards the draconequus. The tridents wove their way through her continuing attacks and lunged towards Discord. Whenever one came close to striking him it would transform. One became a length of licorice, another a fluffy pink cloud. One burst into flames and another sprouted a top hat and began a song and dance number.
Luna saw a flash of light just outside her vision and dove to the side as piercing beams of light shot past her, twisting and weaving through the air as they closed on Discord. At their mere passage the very rock beneath them turned to molten slag. Luna’s eyes flashed with inspiration as she levitated globs of lava into the air and added them to the continuing assault.
Discord smirked and snapped his fingers, once again a bright flash of light illuminated the area. When it faded Damien and Luna found themselves standing on a photo set, posed like lovers about to kiss while Discord snapped photos of them with wild abandon. “Yes! Work it! Own the set! You must feel the shot! Live it!”
Luna snarled in rage as she summoned a wave of ice and sent it rushing towards Discord, freezing everything in its path.
Discord smiled as the ice approached him. With an impertinent snap of his fingers his camera exploded and distorted clones of Luna and Damien rushed out to meet the ice head on. Nearly half of them were obliterated in the wave of ice. The rest closed in on Luna in a flash as she tried to ready another spell.
Before they could touch her arrows of flame arced thought the air, impaling them. They all burst into flame and collapsed into dust at Luna’s hooves. She threw a grateful smile over her shoulder before levitating various pieces of the set into the air and flinging them at Discord.
He chuckled and waved a hand, turning each of them into a different kind of bird. Each bird started singing an operatic aria as they flew through the air. Discord grinned as he pulled a small set of opera glasses out and assumed a thoughtful look. “Truly wonderful, five stars.”
Luna growled as she charged down Discord again. Her eyes widened slightly as she felt a whisper of power and her hooves were coated in black flames and she sped up immensely. A feral grin crossed her muzzle as she flew across the ground towards Discord and slammed into the surprised draconequus. His surprised look vanished a moment later as he grabbed Luna and swept her onto a wild dance. Her eyes flashed in anger as he spun out of his grip and smashed her hooves into his face only to have it disappear in a puff of mist when she made contact.
The mist flew through the air and formed into three Discords. Two of them began to sing and dance around Luna while the third swept towards Damien.
Damien’s gaze snapped towards his attacker and he pulled out a sword of black light without missing a single syllable of his spell. Still chanting he swung the sword through the air, the blade leaving black rifts in reality as it bit into the air. The Discord clone slipped through the cracks in the rifts and loomed in front of Damien only to find an upraised hand before a raging funnel of flame burst out of the palm and engulfed the clone.
As Damien’s Discord was dispelled Luna was slamming her hooves through the head of her last adversary. Her ears flicked back as a slow clapping sound filled the air. “Why do you continue to play these games with us Discord?! Face us seriously!” she shouted as she twisted around to face the smiling draconequus.
“But what fun would that be my dear?” Discord asked still grinning. “Can’t you see that this all just a game?” He threw his arms out to the side grandiosely. “My own little game of chaos, no rules, no points. Just me and you and chaos!” He smirked evilly. “A game that you can’t win!” He held up a hand and caught a massive flaming boulder Damien had sent flying through the air and tossed it aside as though it were nothing more than a feather. “You and your friend have been entertaining but it can only last so long.” He waved a hand and magically threw Luna towards Damien.
“Although I have to admit I’ve never had someone I corrupted actually fight me.” Discord smiled happily. “But you’re starting to get boring. And I don’t enjoy boring people,” Discord said as he towered over Damien and swept aside the runes that clouded the air with a wave of his hand.
“Enjoy this,” Damien growled as he slapped Discord across the muzzle.
Discord stood stock still for a moment before collapsing into a roaring fit of laughter. Damien stared on impassively as he walked over to Luna. “Alright?” he asked her.
“Y-yes. We are okay. Alicorns are sturdy creatures.” She made her way to her hooves. “We need to strike while he is distracted.”
“Too late my dear,” Discord said as he leapt out of the air behind her. He swung his arm towards them gleefully, intent on enacting a particularly humorous transformation. He froze mid-swing as a bolt of pain shot through his body. His eyes widened in shock as he collapsed to his knees. “Wh-what?” he asked as he stared at his hands. His hands seemed to shimmer and shake. Before his eyes his hands slowly began to dissolve. He barely had time to realize this before the pain returned a thousand times over.
Damien looked on impassively as he watched Discord fall apart. “Strongest spell. Breaks apart anything. Even gods.” Luna watched in horror as Discord’s screams slowly dwindled away with his collapsing body. Within seconds there was nothing left but a pile of dust. “Is… is he dead?” she asked shakily as she turned towards Damien.
Damien smiled coldly as he surveyed the pile of dust in front of them. “Yes. Dea-” he stopped suddenly, his eyes wide with fear. “No…” he breathed. He spun around in time to see a lion claw shoot out and grab him by the throat. “That hurt,” Discord growled. His eagle talon shot out and grabbed Luna by the throat. “You two have stopped being amusing. I don’t like being hurt.”
Luna and Damien were both speechless with terror as their worlds dissolved into pure pain.
<-[XXXXX]->
Discord smiled sourly as he looked at Damien and Luna. Their bodies twitched occasionally as their faces twisted in pain. He didn’t like doing things like this. It was far too static… too ordered for his liking. But they had hurt him. HIM! The spirit of disharmony and chaos! The most powerful being to ever grace those pathetic ponies! They had dared to harm him!
He closed his eyes and held out a hand that suddenly contained a glass. Rubbing his closed eyes he waited for a nearby cotton candy cloud to fill it with chocolate milk. With a sigh he took a deep drink from the glass. He was far too tired to try and mix it up; he just needed something to calm himself down. He groaned quietly, now what to do? It would have to be something very interesting to offset this little fiasco. His eyes lit up in inspiration, it had been a while since he’d seen a good Buffalo Ballet. He smiled as he snapped his fingers and summoned a large throne and several buffalo for his entertainment. Yes, things were going good now. Now he could relax and cause some good old fashioned chaos. Maybe he’d even be willing to let those two out of their little nightmare in a decade or two. Three if he was really feeling vindictive.
He smiled as he snapped his fingers and summoned a storm of pies to fall from the sky. Things were really looking up. His grin widened as he saw six figures approaching from the distance. The elements of harmony! They were always good for a laugh! He chuckled happily as he watched them approach. It was hard to mess with corrupted ponies but always worth it.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien felt the blissful wave of the harmony magics wash over him. It was a beautiful feeling, more powerful than even Discord’s chaotic magic and infinitely more comforting and uplifting. He could feel his body reverting to its griffon form painlessly and the excess magic bleeding form his body, leaving him back to what he had been before Discord’s tempering. Lastly he felt it sweep away the corruption that had burrowed so deep into his mind and soul.
He opened his eyes slowly and winced as the sunlight pierced into them. His head swam as he groggily made his way to his feet and shaded his eyes with a wing. Despite the pain he had been subjected to his body felt stronger than ever and somehow purer. He grimaced slightly at that, hopefully it wouldn’t impair his spell casting abilities.
A stray thought flashed through his mind as he recalled the fight against Discord. What little he remembered came in flashes, Luna’s assistance, the waves of flame and ice, even his most dangerous spells being brushed aside like they were nothing. He stopped his pondering suddenly. Luna. If she had been hurt or killed during that fiasco he was going to be in trouble.
His eyes darted around, searching for the lunar princess desperately. He tensed up noticeably when he saw her lying on the ground nearby. A quick inspection showed him her chest rising and falling in the peaceful rhythm of sleep. A sigh of relief escaped him then; she was fine, meaning that by extension he was going to be fine. He grinned and padded silently over to her sleeping form. He muttered softly to himself and traced several shapes into the air over her coat. With her defenses down after the fight, the calming effects of the harmony wave, and the simple fact of her being asleep his magic took hold quickly and easily.
He stepped back for a moment to survey his work. A happy grin stretched his beak and a jubilant cackle split the air. He should probably leave while he had the chance, he doubted she would be too happy when she woke up and would surely be able to trace her latest misfortune to him. He had promised such a fate to her not too long ago and he was probably one of the few that had the sheer audacity needed for such a task.
Before he left her he pulled a piece of paper out of his satchel and scrawled a quick message to assure her he was fine. Better to not have her worry about him needlessly. The heroic types always seemed prone to such things after all. Still chuckling he took to the sky, better to get a good head start after all.
<-[XXXXX]->
Luna woke a quarter hour later, having had more need of harmony’s restorative sleep than Damien had. She had never experienced anything like Discord’s last spell before and unlike Damien had little experience with that level of pure pain. She quickly found the note Damien had left her and read it immediately. She was disappointed that he had not chosen to stay around. Meeting him in person while not under attack by Discord would have been thoroughly enjoyable after all. In a strange stroke of both good and bad fortune she finished her contemplations to see a pair of the royal guard flying overhead. She flagged them down, first with a wave and then with a burst of the Canterlot Royal Voice when the wave failed to attract their attention.
After righting themselves the two pegasi dove down and landed at her feet, bowing deeply.
Luna smiled and bade them to rise, nearly knocking them on their rumps with her assurances. As they explained the situation to her, both Celestia’s current state and Discord’s defeat at the hooves of the Elements of Harmony she couldn’t help but notice that the usually stony-faced guards seemed to be glancing at each other quite often. Her confusion grew as she noticed that every so often one of them would stifle a chuckle or nearly crack a smile. Something practically unheard of in the castle.
After they finished relaying their information she finally asked the question that was on her mind, “WHY DOST THOU KEEP LOOKING TOWARDS THY COMPANION IN SUCH A WAY? DOES SOMETHING AMUSE YOU? WE DEMAND YOU ANSWER TRUTHFULLY.”
After the two pegasi managed to get back on their hooves they traded a nervous glance before one muttered, “your coat m’lady.”
Luna’s eyebrow quirked up. Her coat? Was something wrong with it? She looked down at her flank and her jaw dropped. Her usually dark violet coat had been dyed a bright bubblegum pink. Her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits as she raised her hooves to the sky and screamed, “DAMIEN!”
The festivities, as always, went long into the night. Everyone in Equestria was in on the celebration, not only to congratulate the latest exploits of the Elements of Harmony but also to reassure themselves that Discord was gone. The newly petrified draconequus had been taken back to his old pedestal back in Canterlot by Celestia just before the festivities had commenced. With the fresh spell having the full backing of the elements he was sure to be stuck there for quite a while. Damien didn’t doubt that within days there would be reports of simple vandalism to the statue.
Contentedly he surveyed the ongoing party from the sidelines, a large mug of hard cider in one talon to tend his dry throat. As always he had spent a large portion of his time at the party telling stories and generally entertaining whoever was willing to watch.
He chuckled after taking a long draught from his mug as he patted his satchel. Unlike the last couple of parties the ponies had tossed a tidy sum of bits his way in thanks for the entertainment. Of course his audiences had dwindled when others saw the potential for profit but he had still come out quite happy. It was always reassuring to discover his favored vocation was well received.
A quick examination of the crowds showed that Fluttershy had long since retreated, likely to her house, in an attempt to escape the constant fawning of the fans she had gained with her latest exploit. It seemed that every time she had tried to get rid of her crowd, very quietly, it had only increased in size. Even Damien had to admit that the poor mare was adorable when flustered. Rainbow Dash was still working the crowds with Gilda. The pair was still showing off admittedly impressive tricks as they spun through the sky, their wings given extra strength by the constant stream of praise and adulations proffered by the ponies below them. They too had managed to accrue a small pile of bits from ponies despite their protests. Of course the fact that they had left the pile of money there had done nothing to dissuade further contributions.
Twilight had somehow managed to track down a very old looking book and had surrounded herself with a soundproof bubble so as to study her latest acquisition in peace. What little of the book’s spine Damien could read proclaimed it to be a history book, possibly one regarding Discord? He smiled; Twilight wouldn’t leave such a mystery as that monster unsolved for long. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had managed to write an entire thesis about how Discord did what he did and how he escaped by the time sunrise rolled around. Rarity, like Rainbow Dash, was preening in the adorations of a rather large crowd of stallions. Damien smiled as he realized that there were several mares in the crowd vying for attention as well. Each of her admirers trying to prove they were more worthy of the vision of beauty before them than any of their competitors. He had to smile at her masterful manipulation of the crowd, chances were most of the ponies were certain that she had eyes only for them.
Applejack was packing up her stand, having spent a good portion of the night selling off whatever she could to the partygoers. His eyes quickly alighted on her completely empty cart, thoroughly impressed with her work. No wonder she was so able to keep up with him when he was haggling. Another soft smile, chances were the mare hadn’t had such a profitable day in months. But then again such festivals were always profitable for the enterprising and business savvy. Pinkie Pie was, of course, busy sampling everything she could get her hooves on and trying out every attraction in the impromptu fairgrounds. She already had a massive pile of prizes being carried around by a small crowd of admiring foals, all eager to see her conquer the next game. Most stall owners were now refusing to let her play in an attempt to conserve what prizes they had left.
Damien drained his mug before casting another glance around the crowds, searching for other familiar faces. The crusaders had long since fallen asleep mid-crusade. Not even he was able to figure out what they had been planning to do with a wheel of cheese, a bale of hay, and thirty-seven yards of fishing line. Zecora was sitting along the sidelines much the same as he was, content to watch others go about their merrymaking. Many of the citizens of Ponyville were still somewhat leery of the zebra alchemist. The fact that she lived in the Everfree forest probably didn’t do much to get rid of her reputation for being an evil witch or make her any more approachable.
“Quite a sight isn’t it?” a cheery voice asked from behind him.
“I suppose. But you see one victory party and you’ve seen ‘em all really,” Damien replied as he stared down into his mug. He grimaced as recalled that the kegs of hard cider that had been brought by were now all empty. He’d have to figure out where to get a couple casks of his own, that was some damn good cider.
“No stinging barbs for me?”
“Nah, I’m in a good mood.” He tossed the mug aside and turned to face his new companion. “Relatively speaking anyway.”
Princess Celestia smiled softly. “That’s too bad; I was hoping to hear your more antagonistic side. Luna talks about you quite a bit.”
“Luna needs to make some real friends,” he grumbled. “Where is she anyway? I’d have figured she’d love to come here. Get a chance to meet the elements and me while we aren’t under the threat of eternal chaos.”
Celestia chuckled at this, a bright cheery laugh that seemed to light up the air. “Yes, she would have if she hadn’t had something of an emergency.” She looked pointedly at Damien, the smile still present on her face and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “It seems that somepony managed to dye her coat pink. A rather unfitting color for the Princess of the Night don’t you think?”
“I dunno. Never seen her in pink, it’d probably suit her though. Let me know if you ever find out who did it so I can congratulate them,” Damien responded with a face of pure innocence.
“I’m sure she’ll find a way to get back at whoever it is that’s responsible.” She turned her head to survey the crowd again. “I would have thanked you for your part in helping delay Discord but thought better of it.”
“Good. I don’t think I’d be able to live down a declaration of heroism here.” He shuddered slightly. “Takes forever to get rid of a taint like that.”
Celestia laughed again. “Yes I suppose it would. I still feel that I owe you something. You and Luna managed to distract him enough for my letters to get through to Twilight.”
“Force Luna to get out there and meet somepony. She might leave me alone then,” he grunted. “Not like I wanted to distract that thing anyway. He pulled his weird mind magic on me.” Damien shivered at the memory. “The bastard completely subverted who I am with a touch! If I’d known you had creatures like that skulking around your borders I might have reconsidered my choice in retirement homes.”
“Really now? You didn’t enjoy it at all?” she asked him with a raised eyebrow.
“I was hurt, manipulated, mutilated, and trapped in a nightmare of pure agony for I don’t know how long. Not my idea of a good day.”
“You had time to relive your glory days, make a tidy sum of bits telling stories, and met Luna in person.”
“That last one doesn’t count as a good thing.”
Celestia chuckled softly. “I suppose for you it might not. But I’d imagine that for many other citizens of my realm meeting one of the princesses would be a great honor.”
“Then prove it by ‘honoring’ one of your other subjects. Preferably one far from me.”
Celestia made a show of pondering the Damien’s request for a moment. “I think not. Luna was right about your refreshing lack of propriety.”
Damien groaned. “Does that mean I have to start genuflecting if I want you to leave?”
“It might work,” she responded with a sly look. Several minutes passed in silence as the two continued to watch the celebrating ponies. “Well? I’m waiting.”
Damien shot her a venomous look. “You know full well I’m not going to bow to you.”
“Not even to gain a moment of peace?”
“I defied Fate when she promised far more than a simple moment of peace and I’ll deny you as well.” He was silent for a moment. “Though I will admit that as far as goddesses go you and your sister aren’t that bad,” he grudgingly admitted. “Actually seem to care about the mortals that believe in you and are more willing to admit that you are more like a mortal than most.”
Celestia turned to him with a smile. “I’m glad to have your approval.”
Damien merely grunted and surveyed the crowd again. “Can you answer one question for me?”
“Of course.”
“Why let me stay? Through Luna you should know full well what I am, what I can do.” He turned a stony eyed look on her. “What I will do if I have to. I am dangerous. Possibly more dangerous than Discord because I wouldn’t have let the only ponies that could stop me live. Why take the risk that I represent?”
“Because deep down you are a good person,” she responded with a smile. Her smile grew as she saw the disbelieving look in Damien’s eyes. “You may not believe it but there is more goodness in you than you claim.
Damien snorted. “Martin made the same claim, said that I could be redeemed, said the same of Ellisiree and pretty much all of my old companions. We were never redeemed, never stopped being the villains or the unliked. Not even four hundred years after his death. I didn’t believe him. Why would I believe you?”
“Not believing it doesn’t make it any less true.”
Damien laughed. “You have no idea how things work with me do you?” He shook his head ruefully and glanced at the dwindling crowd. “In any case I think it’s about time I headed back home. Try to keep Luna out of my head tonight will you?” “After what you did to her earlier today? Not a chance.”
Damien chuckled softly under his breath as he padded off down the street. Perhaps this world wasn’t as peaceful as he had thought it to be at first, but it looked like life was going to work out just fine anyway.
<-[XXXXX]->
Damien paused momentarily outside of his house as he stared in wonder at the scene before him. Just that afternoon his house had been transformed into a smoldering wreck, surrounded by scorched earth and devastated streets. Yet the Elements of Harmony had completely removed all traces of both Discord’s taint and the destruction Damien himself had caused in his corrupted state. Shaking his head in wonder he quickly stepped inside the house with a smile, he had plans for tonight.
As soon as he entered the house he plucked the black gemstone from the doorframe and caressed it gently. Two weeks of intermittent visitors and Gilda’s welcome party had charged it to near capacity. Not to mention the power it had picked up from the harmony wave that had pressed a country-wide reset button earlier in the day. A pity he was going to have to use most of it tonight.
His chant began slowly, the runes flickering into life around him hesitantly. After the third verse his chanting picked up speed and the runes began to swirl around him. At the end of the twelfth verse he was completely hidden behind a whirling orb of black runes. Ten minutes later he ended the spell with a curt word and the sphere imploded with a dull thud.
At the exact moment the sphere imploded several wards sprung into life in Canterlot, rendering anything within their influence invisible, inaudible, and undetectable to the outside. As such no one noticed a black sphere expand outwards and deposit a slightly out of breath griffon at the base of a statue that had recently returned to the Canterlot Statue Gardens.
“Hello Discord,” Damien said as he caught his breath. “I know you can hear me in there.”
The statue was, of course, silent. The spell the elements had cast was still far too fresh and strong to allow the draconequus to speak.
“I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here. Although maybe you aren’t, spirits of chaos are always difficult to predict.” He shook his head ruefully. “I’m here to make sure that next time I’m ready for you.” He held out the black gemstone, now depleted of power and chanted a short spell. “This stone will let me familiarize myself with the soul of whatever being is closest to it. Even you should be able to figure out where I’m going to place it.”
With a sadistic smile he placed the gemstone on the pedestal between Discord’s legs and covered it with his palm. He muttered quietly and pushed down on the stone. Within moments it began to slowly sink into the elaborate pedestal.
“This stone will remain here, letting me craft spells that can and will harm you, defend against you, maybe even kill you next time.” He looked up at the statue’s head. “And I know there will be a next time. I don’t know for sure how long a normal pony lives. I don’t know what kind of effect the Elements will have on them. All I know for certain is that they are not going to be the last bearers of the elements, and when they die or lose the connection…” his voice trailed off with a smile. “I’ll be waiting. Be it in ten years or ten thousand I will be here and I will destroy you. I will allow no one, man, mortal, or god, to twist me to their purposes without retribution.”
He brought up a talon in an obscene gesture directed at the statue as the sphere of runes flared back into existence and swallowed him up. As he disappeared the wards hiding his presence vanished as well, allowing his mocking laugh to echo around the silent courtyard.
Well now, what to say here? First time I’ve done one of these author’s notes after all…… First off thanks to everyone that’s read and enjoyed this little production so far. I gotta say that you people have constantly surprised me with all your positive feedback, kinda scary actually. Seriously, why does everyone always love Damien when I write the smarmy bastard? Hell, my creative writing teacher said he even made her enjoy my fantasy genre story. And she never enjoys fantasy! Now that I think about it I really should get around to editing that NaNo story I wrote about him too… In any case I’m gettin’ a little off track. For those of you worryin’ that I’m gonna just stop writing this story or that it’s the end. Don’t. I ain’t done with Damien quite yet. However this will mark the end of this story being my main focus. Probably anyway. So updates’ll probably a good deal rarer and more sporadic, unless I get punched with the fist of inspiration and write out an entire chapter or two at once. (This happens pretty often actually)
As you may have guessed from my wording of my changing focus that I’ll be writing something else. Hard part’ll be deciding what exactly I’ll be puttin’ up though. Gotta figure out which little idea floatin’ in my head’d make a story that doesn’t completely suck after all. And between you and me, I got a lot of those things in there right now. Probably gonna end up writin’ a bunch of ‘chapter 1’s for all the little ideas and choose from those. In any case I’ll be seein’ all of ya later, either here or with whatever I end up makin’ next. After killing some time relaxing of course. Or not. Inspiration and all.
Damien looked around the library and ruffled his wings contentedly. He had been spending a great deal of time here recently, especially so in the week since Discord's defeat. Between Twilight's constant questions about his world, culture, magic, history, and everything else she could think of, his own ever growing reading list, and a desire to learn all he could about Discord before their inevitable rematch he had taken to spending more time at the library than at home. Maybe that was why she had been willing to let him watch the place while she ran some errands with Spike.
Despite his initial hopes that he would remain undisturbed throughout his time as temporary librarian he was quickly growing annoyed that he seemed to be the library's only regular patron. It was rather disappointing that he was the only one in town that saw the true value of the massive treasure trove of knowledge Twilight had accrued during her time here.
And a massive trove it was. Just yesterday he had learned that not only did she have all the books that were normally seen in the main area of the library but had an entire room of books packed up in the basement that she would rotate out every couple weeks. He had added nearly three dozen books to his list of books to read as soon as possible the day she had done her rotation.
With a sigh of resignation he turned to the next page in 'A Historical Analysis of Zebra Culture' and returned to his studies. It was a bit on the dry side but gave him a good background on zebras in general and explained a good deal about Zecora. However before he could get started again he heard the library door open and a familiar voice float through the air.
“Hello Damien, did anything happen while we were gone?” Twilight asked as she trotted into the room, a box of cupcakes floating through the air in front of her.
“Nope, you missed a perfectly boring and empty hour of work,” Damien yawned. “Errands go okay?”
“I think so… Spike?”
Her draconic assistant started at having his name mentioned suddenly and quickly looked down at the large roll of parchment he held in his claws. “Triple check checklist to make sure we didn’t miss anything when we double checked the checklist…” He shot a quick look of exasperation over at Twilight. “Uhhh, check,” he said as he marked the last item on the list off. “Ugh, I’ve been holding that quill so long I’ve got a claw cramp, good thing we don’t have anything to report to Princess Celestia this week.”
Twilight’s face fell into a pensive look before shifting to a look of horror as she exclaimed, “we haven’t sent a letter to Princess Celestia this week?”
Damien winced in sympathy as Twilight rushed over to Spike and began to extoll just how bad missing a letter was. He couldn’t help the incredulous look spreading across his face as Twilight’s panic grew and she began tearing the library apart in search of her calendar. Her antics soon culminated in her rushing upstairs constantly muttering the word ‘no’ under her breath. “You gonna follow her?” he asked Spike as he looked at the stairs in confusion.
The small dragon gave a resigned sigh. “Someone has too,” he muttered as he made his way up the stairs.
Damien watched the stairs for several moments before returning to his book once more. Hopefully Spike would be able to calm Twilight down before something drastic happened, or before his studies were interrupted again. Preferably the studies one. His wishes turned out to go ungranted as Twilight came rushing down the stairs minutes later, stopping right in front of him with a small, slightly strained, smile.
“Hey Damien! Do you have an problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues major or minor that I as a friend can help you solve?” she asked sweetly.
Damien raised a solitary eyebrow and gave her a flat look. “We’re friends?”
“Of course! You spend a lot of time here and we talk a lot and that means we’re friends!” She proclaimed happily before descending into a look of frantic worry. “Right? That does make us friends right?” Her eyes shot back and forth feverishly. “Or am I wrong? Am I that far behind on my studies in friendship that I can’t tell if someone is my friend or not? Or maybe-”
Damien quickly reached out and clamped a claw down on her muzzle to cut her off. “I suppose that we could be considered friends,” he said quickly. “Now why do you want to know if I have any problems right now?”
“Weeellllll,” Twilight began before launching into a declaration that would do Pinkie Pie proud. “Every week I need to send a letter to Princess Celestia telling her what I’ve learned about friendship, not every other week or every ten days but every week! And today is the deadline for this week’s report and I haven’t learned anything at all so I need to find a problem and fix it so I can send a letter to Celestia by the end of today or I’ll be TARDY! Then she might give me a test and I’ll fail since I couldn’t even really tell if we were friends or not and then I’ll get sent back to MAGIC KINDERGARDEN!”
Damien stared at the wheezing unicorn in front of him in shock. “I… see,” he finally managed to say. “And it has to be from you solving a problem? Why can’t it just be something you’ve learned through your studies?”
“But it’s homework! When you do homework you solve problems! Studying isn’t the same!”
“Well what if you just sent her a letter expanding on something you already told her abou-” he stopped at the look of anger and horror that was quickly storming Twilight’s features. “Never mind then,” he added hurriedly.
“So is there anything I can help you with?” she asked, one eye twitching dangerously.
“Not that I can think of.” Twilight’s face fell at the news and Damien couldn’t help but grin at her disappointment that things were going well. “Well why not head into town? I’m sure someone out there is in trouble and could use your help,” he suggested slowly.
“Of course! One of my friends is sure to need my help! Thanks Damien!”
Damien watched her leave the library with a cheery spring in her step and shook his head. “There is no way this is going to end well.”
“That’s what I said too,” Spike said as he came down from the upper levels of the library.
“This happen a lot?” Damien asked, still looking at the now closed door.
“Not often, but it has happened before.”
“And the proper response is..?”
“Hide in the basement with the panic kit until it all blows over,” he responded as he headed into the kitchen to start gathering provisions for his stay in the panic room.
Damien rolled his eyes. “Twilight is a level headed girl; I doubt she’ll do anything too drastic.”
“Right,” Spike said with a shake of his head. “I’m going to head to the panic room now. Try to keep the library from being destroyed.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
Twilight glanced up into the sky and cringed. It was already well into the afternoon and she still had yet to find anypony to help with a problem. Fluttershy had apparently conquered her fear and learned how to wrestle bears, Rarity had found her missing tape measure, Rainbow Dash and Applejack hadn’t been fighting or angry with each other, and Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be found! If she didn’t find something soon then she probably wouldn’t have any time to write a thorough report! That would be almost as bad as not sending one at all! What if she used that report in a review of her progress in Ponyville? It would completely ruin her perfect record of friendship reports almost as badly as a tardy report! She’d be sent to magic kindergarten!
“Hey dweeb, you alright?” a voice asked.
Twilight’s eyes snapped towards the source of the voice. “Gilda!” she cried out in joy.
“Uhhh, yeah. What’s up?” she asked, a little on-edge with Twilight’s exuberant reaction.
“You wouldn’t happen to have any problems that I can help you with? Friendship related ones preferably?” she asked.
Gilda took a tentative step backwards as she took in Twilight’s crazed appearance. “Not really. Things are actually goin’ pretty good. Got a job at the post office and everything.”
“So no problems whatsoever? No anger issues? No problems with coworkers? Nothing?”
“Hey, I’m not that bad,” Gilda muttered. “And Derpy ain’t actually that annoying, a little klutzy but a good mare.” She smiled slightly.
“So nothing at all?” Twilight wheedled hopefully.
Gilda’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Why so surprised?”
Twilight took a nervous step back. “Well it’s just that uhh… you… and well I thought…”
Gilda shook her head and sighed. “Whatever dweeb. I need to finish this delivery. Later,” she huffed as she took the sky.
Back on the ground Twilight watched her leave and slowly shifter her gaze to the sun, suppressing a manic yelp as she noticed how far the sun had moved since she had last looked at it. Her eyes darted back and forth as she tried to see somepony that she hadn’t already talked to, tried to help. Seeing that her search was in vain a new thought popped into her head. Maybe if she couldn’t find a friendship problem to solve, maybe she could make one.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien glanced up from his book in confusion. His eyes narrowed as he cocked his head in confusion as he tried to place the sounds coming from outside the library. His eyes widened in slight shock and confusion as the pieces finally fell in place. It sounded just like there was a barroom brawl going on outside! But ponies brawling? Most of the peaceful little things probably didn’t know how to throw a real punch! This he had to see.
With a happy grin he trotted over to the door and flung it open to see the entire town was empty. His grin replaced with a look of wary confusion he scanned his surroundings a listened intently for the telltale sounds of battle. Within seconds he determined that they were coming from over a nearby hill.
Chuckling to himself he flew over to the hill and crested it with an eager gleam in his eyes. A gleam that turned to a look of confusion as he lay eyes on a pile of ponies fighting over an ugly and heavily worn doll. Before he could wonder at why anyone would be willing to fight over such a thing when a voice whispered in the depths of his mind.
That’s the most wonderful doll I’ve ever seen. I want it. I need it, the voice whispered in his mind.
Against his better judgment he took several steps down the hill before he managed to bring himself to a stop. “No!” he muttered under his breath. “I will not be defeated by this… thing!” He quickly rallied his mental defenses and began to analyze the spell as best he could with his flailing senses.
It’s so beautiful, why have I never seen such beauty before. I want it. I need it.
Again he was drawn closer to the doll and the pile of brawling ponies. “NO!” he screamed as he wrenched his gaze away from the doll and buried his head beneath his forelimbs. “I will not fall to this!” Even as he spoke he could feel the spell working its way through his mental defenses. His eyes widened as he finally placed the magical signature he was sensing form the spell, Twilight Sparkle.
A soft thud right in front of him made him open his eyes on reflex, only to see that the doll now lay inches from his beak. His eyes locked onto the ragged toy and the voice shouted in his head once more. “NO! I will… not… LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE IT! IT’S MINE!” he shouted as he reached for the doll. Just as his talon closed around the doll he heard the thundering sound of hooves and a sharp pain as the entire herd of bewitched ponies trampled over him in their rush to get at the doll.
The sudden pain rallied his mind and gave him a few precious seconds to act outside of the control of the spell. In a fit of desperation he slammed his head on a nearby rock as hard as he could. He grinned grimly as his vision swam and the blackness descended on him. His last thoughts before the he fell into unconsciousness were of Twilight Sparkle, and the unholy fury he would visit on the foolish mare for her actions.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien rose to his feet with a throbbing skull, an aching back, and a mind full of thoughts of vengeance. “That spell,” he seethed as he made his way unsteadily back to his house. “How dare she cast such a spell.”
He hissed a sharp word as he approached his house and his door was nearly blown off its hinges as an invisible force threw it open. He didn’t even spare a glance at the broken lock or the ruined door frame as he entered the foyer.
With even, measured steps he made his way up the stairs, each step creaking under the weight of his rage. “To defile the mind in such a way. To rob the entire town of their free will. To strip me of my ability to choose.” His voice was soft but cut through the air like a knife. Another curt word repeated his performance with the front door on his bedroom door.
Once inside he rose up on his hind legs and placed his claws on a large wooden desk. With slow deliberate movements he traced an image onto the top of the desk. With a slow tearing sound a roll of leather slowly materialized on the desk. His smile grew colder as he looked down at the item before him, one of the few he didn’t feel the need to carry with him at all times and one that he didn’t want anyone in town to discover. “It’s been a while since I used any of you,” he muttered as he unrolled the long strip of leather to look fondly at the tools that lay inside. There were knives and tongs, mallets, razors, and thin wires nestled with care inside little indents and loops of the leather. He carefully withdrew a wickedly sharp curved knife from its fastening and ran a talon down its edge. Even at the faintest touch it left an angry red line along his. “Perfect,” he berthed as he replaced the knife and left the room muttering a small healing spell under his breath.
It was at the front door that he finally found a reason to slow down. His barely suppressed rage was temporarily hidden by a polite mask as he beheld the white alicorn in his front lawn. “Celestia, I wasn’t aware you were in town,” he said tersely.
“I’m not going to let you do this Damien,” she told him, unshakable steel in her voice.
“You surely know what that fool did and my stance on those spells,” he growled. “There is nothing that will stop me from exacting punishment.”
“Punishment or revenge?”
“Different names for the same thing,” Damien scoffed. “All punishments are revenge; they’re just usually carried out by someone else.”
“If you do this my sister and I will be forced to bring you to justice,” she cautioned him.
“Justice. A pretty word used by those with power to assure others that they are trustworthy. If you want to administer justice then go to your student,” he spat. “But you will try to bring me under your justice. Just as many others have tried. And you will fail, just as they did.”
“You know you can’t beat us. You can’t even beat one of us,” she said, appealing to the one thing she knew she could count on, his sense of self preservation.
“But I can run. I’ve felt your magic. I’ve felt the way you use it. My own magic is nowhere near yours in terms of power. But in subtlety? You cannot hope to reach me. I will run and I will hide and neither you nor your sister will find me.”
“I will stop you here and now if I have to.”
“By forcing me to stop with brute strength? You know that would only make me bide my time, wait for an opening. An opening that you would give me in time. No one is perfect, something I know better than most.”
“No. I’ll stop you by doing this,” she said as she stepped over the threshold and into his house. She felt the crackling energies as powerful wards sprung up to stop her and limit her power. She winced in pain but let the powerful magics do their work, not resisting them in the slightest.
Damien leaned back in shock at her sudden invasion of his home. “Why?” he asked when he trusted himself with speech once more. “You knew stepping into my territory would weaken you. And you didn’t even try to fight the wards and curses. You let them affect you to their full potential! You have practically lain down and placed the blade on your own throat to save me the trouble of finding one myself!”
“I said I would stop you, and this is how,” she said with a pained expression as she planted her hooves in the ground and placed herself firmly between him and the door.
“There are other ways out of my house! The back door, the pegasus entrance, the gates damned windows!” he shouted at her as he waved a forelimb around his surroundings.
“Then I’ll follow you and stand between you and those as well,” she said.
“And what makes you think I won’t simply kill you in order to leave. The fight would be difficult but we are in my domain and I would win in the end. All you would do is throw your life away! And for what? For a pupil that would drive an entire city into madness in her misguided attempts to please you? For a fanatic so obsessed with you that the thought of your disapproval allows her to consider stripping away what makes us all more than the stones beneath out feet?!”
“But you won’t kill me, I am here, practically unarmed and at your mercy simply standing in your way.”
“And why do you think that!?”
“Because deep down you don’t want to kill me, because if you dig deep enough you are a good person, and because above all else,” she smiled wanly. “It would make your life far too difficult and bothersome.”
He glared at her for several moments before throwing his arms up in disgust, flinging the leather roll off into a corner. “Fine! I won’t harm your precious student! But I will have some form of revenge.” He waved a talon and dispelled the wards holding Celestia’s power back. “Now leave before I change my mind.” With an angry grunt he turned to head up the stairs.
Celestia smiled and moved over to whisper in his ear, “thank you for proving me right.”
Before Damien could turn back to scream obscenities at her she vanished in a flash of golden light. He glared at the empty room for a time before turning back to the stair. “Gates damned princesses and their thrice damned insight,” he muttered as he headed up the stairs.
Gilda’s day began the same way it had ever since she had landed her position at the post office two weeks ago. Get up at the damnably ungodly hour of three in the morning, grab some coffee she had put on the night before, steal a quick bite of whatever leftovers Damien had in the fridge, and head to the office. She almost never flew to work, partially due to the fact that night flying was not something any griffon enjoyed, but mostly because not even a trick flier like herself could just wake up and jump into the air without a good warm-up first. Besides, a good jog early in the morning did a griffon good and helped keep her in shape.
From there things were always predictable unpredictable. Derpy would always manage to do something unusual. It was never the same thing twice, and if you were expecting one thing it was almost invariably another. On Gilda’s first day at work Derpy had accidentally overshot her landing and ended up not only knocking her head on the door frame but plowing into the bags of new mail, scattering them about the office. The next day she slipped as she entered the room and knocked over a stack of boxes, by some miracle they managed to fall completely unbroken but somehow completely sorted by destination. Today it looked like Derpy hadn’t managed to do anything too damaging to the building which meant the inside could either be a disaster or a picture of perfection.
Gilda’s stomach rumbled quietly as she opened the door and smiled at the one thing that Derpy always did; Bring in fresh muffins. That mare’s skill at creating the things rivaled, or even topped, that of Pinkie Pie and the Cakes. Her eyes quickly swept the room with the air of a practiced predator until they landed on Derpy.
Her offset eyes brightened and she gave the same big, slightly goofy, grin she always did when Gilda came in to work. “Morning!” she chirped happily as she pulled a crisp fresh muffin out of her saddlebags and tossed it through the air to Gilda.
Gilda had to lunge forward slightly in order to catch the descending pastry but nodded gratefully to her co-worker all the same. Compared to some of her more… inspired… throws this one was downright tame. “How much we got today?” she asked as she took a big bite out of the muffin, closing her eyes as she savored the taste.
“Lots!” Derpy exclaimed as she gestured wildly at three bulging bags of mail, her grin still going strong.
Gilda blinked resignedly as she surveyed the bags in front of her. Not a massive load but still pretty big. With a grim frown she moved over to heft one of the large bags over her shoulder. Upon reaching her sorting table she quickly undid the knot holding the bag closed and began the daily task of sorting every single damn letter the office received.
With a practiced air she began to sift through the letters and launch them expertly into the waiting mailbags. Her desk was soon a flurry of motion as the combination of her sharp eyes and nimble claws made quick work of the letters before her. Her flurry of motion quickly ground to a halt when a very familiar address caught her eye. Her eyes widened as she noticed the addressee and the return address.
“Something wrong?” Derpy asked, as she kept one eye on the letters in front of her and turned the other to Gilda.
“No! Nothing at all!” Gilda squawked as she threw the letter into the appropriate bag. Getting back up to speed took a moment and even when she hit her rhythm it was still slightly slower than it had been before. Her usual steady pace occasionally faltering as she cast furtive glances at a particular mailbag.
<=[XXXXX]=>
It took the two of them until five to finish sorting out all the letters, even with Gilda’s quickly growing skill at the task and Derpy’s almost supernatural ability once she really got going. In front of them sat four large mailbags, each one filled with the day’s mail.
With what she hoped was a nonchalant movement Gilda reached out towards the bag containing the letter that had caught her eye before.
“You gonna do north?” Derpy asked curiously. Being the mainly commercial section of town it was almost always the hardest hit and longest route they had to complete.
“Uh, yeah. I figure I’d take north and west today and you could do east and south. You’d have to spend less time at work and get to spend more time with your kids ‘n stuff,” Gilda lied quickly.
There was a nervous silence as Derpy slowly processed Gilda’s statement with what amounted to a thoughtful expression. Her eyes lit up and she beamed at her co-worker suddenly. “Thanks Gilda!” she exclaimed. “I really wanted to help Dinky with homework today!”
Gilda bit back a pang of guilt as she nodded at the exuberant mare. Everyone knew just how much Derpy loved her kids and even the most cynical of the townsfolk would put a hoof forward now and then to help her spend more time with them. Gilda’s excuse had been something of a cheap shot but, as she reminded herself with a shake of her head, one that both had a good outcome and ensured that she would be able to get at that letter as fast as possible.
Unfortunately that time was still some ways off since she now had two large bags of mail to further organize in front of her. She stifled a sigh as she dumped out the first bag and began to order the letters by street. It was times like this that she envied her co-workers strange ability to pull out exactly what letters were needed from her bag without fail.
“Want help?” Derpy asked, as though summoned by Gilda’s thoughts.
“Nah, you should get out there and get started,” Gilda assured her with a wave of her talon.
Despite Gilda’s assurances Derpy sat herself down next to the griffon and joined in the sorting. “Got letter?” she eventually asked, both eyes looking resolutely away from Gilda.
Gilda blinked in surprise. It was a wonder how that mare could fail to notice where a door was one second and pick up on such subtle social cues the next. “Yeah, came from back home. Probably from my mom,” she said slowly. A part of her marveled at the fact that she was willing to share this with Derpy but the pegasus was solid where it counted and had proven herself time and again in the griffon’s eyes.
“That bad?”
“I don’t know. I left home ages ago. Didn’t like bein’ smothered by her ya know?” Gilda shook her head ruefully. “She was always telling me how I should live my life, what I should do. I’m kinda scared of what a letter from her means.” A harsh chuckle escaped her beak. “Though she’d probably be almost happy with me right now. Got a steady job, a place to stay, not getting arrested for disturbing the peace…”
Derpy simply sat and listened as Gilda rambled on about her mother and life in general. One thing being a mother herself had taught her was that there were times when you should just sit back and listen.
“…and I know there’s no way she’d approve of living alone with a male griffon,” Gilda snickered wryly. “She’s always been a bit on the traditional side. But she's usually to busy with her duties to leave home so I doubt she'll be able to come down here and lecture me on living with Damien.” She reached absently for the pile of letters to her side and looked over in surprise when she saw they had sorted out the entire pile already. With a soft groan she got up and stretched her wings. With practiced moves she placed each stack back into the mailbags in their proper order and then flung the bags themselves over her shoulders. “Hey uhh, Derpy? Thanks,” she said sheepishly before heading out the door.
Derpy merely smiled and loaded up her own mailbags, knocking over two chairs and a table in the process.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Is this really necessary?” Damien grumbled as he set aside the book he was reading for the third time that hour.
“Yes!” Twilight cried out in exasperation. “This helps give me context for everything you’re always saying about your world!”
“Which one this time?” he grumbled.
She flipped through several pages of notes before looking back up at him. “I don’t think I’ve seen what you used to look like. Can you do that?”
Damien sighed and began to mutter under his breath. Each syllable brought a sigil of burning darkness into existence. Before long there was a crude outline of these sigils floating in the air between Damien and Twilight. When his chant ended the sigils blurred together and began to gain color and shape. Soon there was a life-sized illusion of Damien as he had been before his transformation standing in the library with them.
“You don’t look too different from some of the other races you mentioned,” Twilight murmured as she began inspecting the illusion. “The only difference between you and the elves looks like your ears.”
“Never compare me to those pretentious wastes of space,” Damien grumbled vehemently. “Now may I get back to my book?”
“Yes, of course,” Twilight replied absentmindedly.
Damien rolled his eyes as he watched Twilight examine the illusion of his past self before picking his book back up and flipping back to where he had left off. However before he could read even a single word the library door was thrown open and a desperate voice broke the relative silence of the library.
“DAMIEN!” Gilda shouted as she burst into the library, her eyes darting back and forth until they found him. “I need you!”
Damien blinked and smiled. “That’s flattering Gilda but I have no plans for such a thing at this-”
He was cut off as Gilda’s talons clamped around his beak like a vice-grip. “No. No sarcasm. No glib remarks. No making light of everything. You are going to listen.”
Damien blinked in surprise before a smiling beneath Gilda’s talons. He gave an affirmative nod before extracting his beak from her clutches. “So what do you need me for my dear?”
“I… Today I… I’ll need…” She continued to try and fail to explain the situation that had driven her to seek his assistance several more times before sighing in defeat and handing him a letter.
He raised a single eyebrow at her uncharacteristic silence before reaching out to take the proffered letter. Casting a questioning glance at Gilda he unfolded the letter she had handed him and began to read.
Gilda,
I’m glad you finally got around to writing me a letter like you promised when you left home and I’m glad to hear things are finally looking up for you. It's been so quiet without you around to argue with your father and I almost miss the racket you two would always cause. Luckily I’ve managed to get a week off from my duties so I’ll be coming down to Ponyville to see you! It’s been far too long since we spent any time together and we really need to catch up. I should be arriving in Ponyville on the thirteenth. Your Mother,
Tyra
Damien reread the letter again and looked back at Gilda. “What exactly have you told your mother in your letters?” he asked, his voice was calm but held icy undertones that seemed to chill the room.
“Only that I found a place to stay and that I got a job!" she replied quickly, backing up a step at the ice in his tone. "It’s just that…” Gilda let the sentence trail off as she looked down at the floor.
Damien sighed in exasperation and motioned for her to continue. When nothing more was forthcoming he reached over and shook her roughly by the shoulder. “It’s just what?”
“My mother is… a traditionalist, really big on honor and tradition. Like really really big.” She shuffled her feet nervously. “And those traditions are very clear on certain things. Like the… proper situation for two griffons of… differing genders living together.”
“So your mother is coming here and will expect…?” Damien let the question hang in the air between them expectantly despite obviously knowing where she was going with this. More fun to make her say it after all.
“Well, she’ll want us to be… engaged,” she said tersely. “Or at least dating seriously,” she added quickly with a blush.
“So I’ll need to pretend to be your lover for…” He glanced down at the letter in his talon. “A week.”
Gilda nodded hesitantly.
“And you can’t think of any other way out of this?”
“There’s no way I can convince her I managed to buy that house on my own so I can’t ask you to leave for a week and unless you’re able to become a female for a week… You can’t do that right?” she asked, hopeful gleam in her eyes hoping for him to deny her assumption.
“Can? Yes. Will? No.”
“Why not?! It couldn’t possibly be that bad right?”
“Transformation spells rewrite the body in a general fashion. When I became a griffon I became me as a griffon. However small changes don't translate over. If you have a cut before you transform you won't have it afterwards. This also goes for alterations you've made to your body, tattoos, piercings, and the like. One of my greatest sources of strength, magical, physical, and otherwise is that I have inscribed hundreds of thousands of sigils onto my very bones. Sigils that would not transfer over to my new body or be there when I eventually returned to my male form. Inscribing those runes back onto my bones would involve me ripping the flesh from my bones and carving the runes back into them with an enchanted knife. I am not dealing with that unless I absolutely have to,” he said firmly.
“Why can’t you just explain the situation to your mom and try to get her to understand?” Twilight interjected after staring at Damien in a mixture of shock, horror, and vague interest at the description of his methods for a few moments.
Gilda looked at her as though she had lost her mind. “She’s a traditionalist! And the captain of the guard for one of the most famous Manes in the griffon city-states! She didn’t get her position by questioning tradition and I doubt she’s going to start doing it now!”
“But keeping secrets like this can’t be healthy! You’re asking Damien and yourself to play roles you have no experience in!” Twilight burst out.
“Gilda maybe, but I have plenty of experience playing the lover and the fiancé,” Damien snorted. At the looks of disbelief the others gave him his gave an indignant squawk. “What? You don’t believe that someone who had dedicated much of their life to deception and manipulating the actions of others can’t pull off a simple role as Gilda’s boyfriend?” He placed a talon to his forehead dramatically. “I’m surrounded by under appreciative louts,” he muttered.
“Whatever. Will you help me?” Gilda asked with a roll of her eyes.
“Of course! This sounds like it might be the most entertaining thing you’ve done since you made up with Dash! There’s no way I’m missing out on this!” he cried out, insulted that she had thought he would turn down such free entertainment.
“So you’ll do it for free?”
“Gates no! I’ll be doubling your rent this month because of this.”
Gilda sighed and nodded. “Fine. Not like it really costs me anything to pay you. What do you even use that blood for anyway?”
“Wards, enchantments, the occasional curse,” Damien replied as he ticked off the items on his talons. “Virgin’s blood is pretty much a catch-all reagent that strengthens any spell.”
Gilda blushed at his nonchalant remark. “I-I’m not a virgin!”
“Yes you aaaaaarrrrrreeeeeeee~!” he sang. “I can smell it in your blood.” He laughed loudly as he took in both Gilda and Twilight’s blushes. “Don’t worry; I’m sure you girls will find someone eventually. Worst come to worst you both know where I live!” he said with a wink and another cascade of laughter. “Are there any stipulations as to how I should act as your fiancé or am I to decide everything for myself?”
Still fighting to keep her luminescent blush under control Gilda glared angrily at Damien. “You will not use magic where she will figure it out and you will not do or say anything that will make her think that we aren’t a couple.”
“Alighty then! Now that that’s over with I believe I have a book to finish reading.”
As he reached for his book Gilda shot across the intervening distance and snatched the book away. “Not yet freak! I need you to say it. Promise me you won’t screw this up.”
Damien’s eyes glittered mischievously. “You have been learning haven’t you?” he said admiringly. With mock solemnity he rose up on his back legs, closed his eyes, and placed a talon over his heart. “I swear I shall not use magic in the vicinity of your mother in any way that can be traced back to me and I shall not speak to her in any way that will cause her to question whatever notions she has about our living arrangements.” He opened his eyes with a grin. “That good enough?”
Gilda sat in silence as she worked through what he had said several times over. “Good enough,” she affirmed cautiously. “But I’ll be watching you.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way my dear. Shall we go over the details of our fake history right now or at some other time?”
“What?”
Damien sighed tiredly. “And here I had such high hopes for your progress into the arts of deception. Simply saying we’re together isn’t enough. We’ll need to figure out how much physical contact we should have and our reason for it. Lay out the background of our courtship and how we came to be where we are now. A true plan lies not in its assumptions but its details! Now, where did we meet?”
“The Everfree forest,” Gilda responded quickly. Seeing Damien egging her on to elaborate she slowly stuttered, “you were looking for Ponyville because you wanted to move there and I ran into you by chance.” Her voice grew firm as she continued, “after I got you to Ponyville you offered to buy me dinner to repay me for helping you.”
“Excellent!” he said as he clapped. “Enough truth to be easy to remember and simple enough deceptions so as to go unnoticed in the grand scheme of things! We’ll need to fabricate a little more history, make things seem plausible. None of that fall in love at first sight crap. That only happens when overly meddlesome gods start getting ideas above their stations. Then we’ll need to let all your friends know about what’s going on so they won’t blow your cover-”
“What?!” Gilda squawked. “No we don’t!”
“Of course we do! You don’t think that we can go the entire week without having your mother meet your friends do you? They need to be in on our little ruse! Sure some of them, *cough* Dash *cough*, will take advantage of this to embarrass, blackmail, or otherwise humiliate you but it’s the price you pay for your plan to work out!” he said as he spread his forelimbs and wings grandly.
Gilda had been reduced to incoherent mumbling at the thought of all her still new and tentative friends being brought into this elaborate deception. She was so distracted that she nearly missed Damien’s continuing advice.
“-and of course if you want to be really convincing you’ll probably need to be somewhat intimate with me. Now I don’t have much experience kissing with a beak so we may have to practice a bit to make sure it’s convincing-”
“WHAT?!” Gilda screeched as his words made their way into her brain. “No! No way! NEVER! I am not going that far to deceive my mom!” She panted as her brief but turbulent tirade came to an end to see Damien smiling hugely, his sides shaking with barely suppressed laughter. “This is all just a game to you isn’t it?” she lamented tiredly.
He smiled at her, an oddly comforting look in his eyes. “Heh, and here I thought you had stopped paying attention. I won’t force you into anything you aren’t willing to do in order to pull this off.” A predatory gleam flashed in his eyes. “And as for your question? Yes. All of life is a game to me, a game I play to win.”
She shuddered at his tone but had to admit, she could think of no one else that would give her a better chance of actually pulling this entire debacle off than him.
“So we have…” Damien glanced down at the letter quickly. “Three days to get our story straight and let everyone of import know what’s going on.” He grinned. “This is gonna be fun.”
“Tomorrow is the day you begin your deception, correct?” Luna asked as she and Damien sat in a memory of the jungles of the Barren Lands sipping tea.
“Yep!” he responded happily. “Just the look on Gilda’s face whenever we started practicing a new line has already made all this worth it. I can’t wait to see how long she manages to keep up the charade.”
“You are enjoying this far too much,” she observed with a pointed look.
“Oh come now Lu! You should know by now that this is the sort of thing I live for! Sure it’s not even half as elaborate as what I had to do to dance free of even Fate’s least inspired plots but it also carries far less risk.”
“You intend to trick one of the most dangerous warriors in one of the most militant griffon city-states. That doesn’t strike us as low risk.”
“Compared to Fate’s plans? This thing is a breeze. Although I never had to deal with such an amateur when doing this sort of thing before, always worked alone or with professionals,” he mused thoughtfully. “How long do you think she’ll manage to keep the charade up?”
“Are you trying to make a bet with us about how quickly your friend will fail in her task?” Luna asked acidly before turning her attention back to the tea. Several minutes passed in silence before she spoke up again. “Two days,” she said off-handedly as she held out her cup of tea for a refill.
Damien smirked as he pulled a teapot out of the air and poured her a new cup. “I think her mother will see through everything by the end of the first day.”
The two sat in silence as they watched the jungle around them swell with life. Strange creatures Luna had never even thought could exist flitted through the trees and even creatures that she was sure she recognized proved her assumptions wrong within moments.
“Why is this place called the barren lands? It hardly seems barren.”
“Heh, not all of it is like this, it has nearly every conceivable environment you can image within its borders. But the real reason for the name is that several thousand years ago a powerful civilization decided to mess with things it wasn’t ready for and tore itself apart in the magical flames of spells gone wrong. The survivors ended up calling their once proud kingdom the barren lands because everything had been destroyed.” He waved talon and several small windows appeared showing various other sections of the continent. “But magic has a way of messing with things. Within a century the continent had been transformed into what it is now, a land of powerful and savage creatures that viciously attack any human, elf, dwarf, or any other outsider without remorse. These days the barren stands for being bereft of civilization.”
Luna looked skeptically at a nearby bird, its long silver tail gleaming in the dim light of the jungle. “We find it hard to believe that this place is as dangerous as you claim it to be,” she scoffed.
Damien smiled and the dreamscape shifted, showing the same bird being stalked by a cat ten times its size. The cat, seeing that its prey hadn’t noticed it leapt silently towards the unprotected neck of the bird. Only to be caught by its long tail mid-jump. The cat gave a pathetic yowl of pain as the tail feathers quickly cocooned it and began to steam. Seconds later the feathers unraveled to drop a bleached skeleton to the ground.
Luna blinked in surprised and gave Damien an accusatory glare. “You are making things up again are you not?”
“This time? No,” he said as he gave the bird a slightly apprehensive look. “The time I spent in the Barren Lands was probably the most dangerous of my life.”
Luna shook her head in wonder as she contemplated the bird before her. For several minutes the only sounds to be heard in the dreamscape were those of the jungle and the faint clinking of teacups. As yet another strange, and likely deadly, creature passed in front of them Luna spoke up again. “Why have you been so receptive to us in the recent weeks?”
Damien raised an eyebrow questioningly but remained silent.
“Ever since we fought Discord at your side you have been more receptive to our presence. You only threaten to kick us out of your dreams on rare occasion instead of every night. You have even adopted a level of informality when speaking to us, even going so far as to refer to us by a nickname.” She lowered her head ruefully. “A level of informality that we seem incapable of making use of ourselves.”
Damien sighed and looked up into the canopy above them. “The Northlands have a tradition known as the Battle Bond. They believe that to truly and wholeheartedly know and trust someone is to fight beside them in battle. You are never stronger or more vulnerable than when you fight alongside others. You have someone to cover your blind spots but also leave them open and ripe for a traitorous blade if your partner is less than virtuous. Doing so shows absolute trust and faith in your allies and shows them the same of you.” He turned his gaze back to her. “Even though I wasn’t myself you did stand beside me against Discord. That sort of thing can change how you see someone.”
Luna smiled warmly, a happy tear in one eye.
Damien’s face suddenly split into a massive grin. “That and I got the opportunity to turn your coat pink. Nothing brings you closer to someone than knowing that they’re an easy mark. Makes me see you as less of a goddess and more of just another immortal.”
Luna glared at the laughing griffon and rolled her eyes. “And we thought we were having a touching moment. It seems we were mistaken,” she grumbled.
“I find taking what you can get works best,” Damien observed as he examined his talons with a grin.
“We suppose that is all we can do when dealing with you,” Luna admitted grudgingly. “It seems dawn approaches.”
“Always hard to tell in here. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow?” Damien asked.
“Indeed.” Luna bowed and melted into a fine purple mist that soon evaporated into nothingness.
Damien let the dreamscape fade into darkness around him. “I guess I better get up now anyway. Don’t want Momma Tyra sneakin’ up on me after all,” he said with a chuckle as closed his eyes and prepared to wake up.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gilda was a nervous wreck. She had long since finished delivering the day’s mail and was now pacing back and forth in her room. Every sound made her jump and every flash of movement made her flinch. In an attempt to settle her nerves she began to go over the cover story for what felt like the thousandth time. True to Damien’s suggestions they relied on her lack of interest in anything romantic or touchy-feely to keep things simple and vague. This same reasoning allowed them to pretend that no one or almost no one knew about their supposed relationship.
She was well into her third recitation of her backstory when a sharp knocking sounded at her bedroom door. She tensed up and her eyes shrank and slowly moved towards the door. Another knock. It couldn’t be her mom already could it? No… she would have heard Damien greeting her, and her mom probably yelling at him too. Unless she had snuck in. She wouldn’t do that… would she?
“Dammit Gilda, unlock the door and let me in. Your mom’ll be here in five minutes and I figure we’d best be ready for her,” Damien shouted from the other side of the door.
Gilda’s face flushed with embarrassment as she opened the door. “How do you know how long it’ll be?” she asked in an attempt to divert his attention and constant snickering to something that wasn’t at her expense.
“Do you really have to ask that one?” he grinned.
“I thought you weren’t going to use magic while she’s here,” Gilda growled.
“I promised that I wouldn’t use any magic that could be traced back to me. Not that I wouldn’t use it.” He smiled. “Good thing actually speaking the spell and using the sigils isn’t really necessary right?”
“What?” Gilda whispered.
“I can use magic without moving a muscle, takes more energy to cast them that way but it’s possible.”
“Why didn’t you mention that earlier! I don’t want you u-”
“Oh look at the time we should get downstairs and get ready to meet mommy dearest!” he laughed as he quickly slipped out of the room, leaving Gilda to stare in anger at the door before running after him.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien’s quick exit led him to the foyer. Gilda’s mother was now close enough for him to get more than a vague sense of her location. With a quick muttered incantation he added the necessary bypasses to the wards guarding the house, best be polite after all and there was no way to know whether or not she would end up triggering some of the automatic defenses if Gilda’s stories were to be believed. Better to simply have them off than try to explain to Gilda why her mother was going to have to leave Ponyville without a few of her limbs.
Gilda managed to reach the foyer mere seconds after he finished and quickly smacked him on the back of the head with an angry talon. “You’re planning to use magic around her aren’t you?” she hissed.
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I doubt I’d be able to get away with much if she’s as good as you claim her to be.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Though you also seem to think you can trick her with this so I guess I might be able to get away with quite a bit…” he mused with a thoughtful smile.
Gilda’s response was cut off by a sharp knock that echoed around the foyer. Her eyes snapped to the source of the noise and a faint sheen of sweat began to appear on her forehead. She cast a quick glance towards Damien, who waved her towards the door with a gleeful twinkle in his eyes. Her glance quickly became a glare as she steeled herself and padded over to the door. She lifted a slightly shaking talon and carefully placed it on the door.
Tyra blew into the house like a hurricane, only with fewer corpses and marginally less property damage. “Gilda!” she cried as she wrapped her daughter in massive hug. “It’s so good to see you again! Let me get a look at you!” she said happily as she placed a talon on each of her daughter’s shoulders and leaned back. “Good, it looks like you’ve been eating well and exercising. I was afraid you’d started to get lazy away from my training sessions! Glad I was wrong though, finding you a mate is hard enough without you going soft!”
“M-Mom!” Gilda cried as a red hot blush engulfed her face. “You don’t need to set me up with anyone!” She paused a moment as she tried to remember the plans she had drawn up with Damien. “I… Actually I already have a boyfriend.”
Tyra looked down at her daughter in surprise. “You do? A boyfriend?” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “It’s not one of those pansy ponies is it? Most of them wouldn’t know a good right hook if smacked them upside the head.” She paused a moment as a thought struck her. “Though I did see a pretty good looking stallion on my way over, big red earther, legs as thick as trees and a flank that would impress the gods.”
“No! I mean… he’s a griffin.” She stepped back and directed her mother’s attention to where Damien stood. “Mom, meet Damien. Damien, my mom Tyra.”
Tyra snorted as she walked further into the house and began to inspect Damien. “He’s a bit scrawny,” she observed. “Good eyes though,” she said as the two of them stared each other down, neither one blinking or moving an inch.
As Tyra continued to study him, Damien made some observations of his own. His first impression was that Tyra was big. He had been used to standing slightly over people back home and in Equestria he was a good bit taller than the average pony. Some like Big Mac could still look over him but they were few and far between. Tyra seemed to be on a whole different scale. She towered over him and seemed to be made of nothing but muscle. He could see the faint marks of old scars and long healed wounds beneath some patches of fur and a large jagged half-healed crack ran down the one side of her beak. She shared her daughter’s coloration, or rather her daughter shared hers, but her eyes were a piercing red and hard as steel. His observations were brought to an abrupt end when Tyra spoke up again.
“No.”
Gilda blinked in confusion and Damien smiled. “No?” she asked. “No what?”
“I don’t approve of him. Doesn’t look like he could fight his way through a pack of newborn cubs. Find a new boyfriend,” Tyra said offhandedly as she turned back to face her daughter. “You deserve someone strong. Stronger than me preferably.”
Gilda shot Damien a pleading look and he grinned. “And how do you know I’m not?”
“Excuse me?” Tyra raised an eyebrow questioningly, her stance slowly becoming more aggressive.
“How do you know I can’t already beat you within an inch of your life and back?” he challenged.
Tyra stared at him for several moments before laughing loudly. “Ha! Maybe I misjudged you! Let’s settle this then. Right here and right now.”
“I’d prefer it be done outside, don’t want to destroy my house after all.”
Tyra shot her daughter a look and muttered, “you’ll explain this one later.” Turning her gaze back to Damien she nodded. “Outside then, I passed over a field between here and the forest that should work.”
“Excellent. I usually give those I’m dueling an hour to notify next of kin and get their affairs in order, but since Gilda is already here I suggest we simply stop by a nearby lawyer to draw up your will first.”
For the first time since she had been introduced to him Tyra smiled. “Cheeky little bastard aren’t you? I like that.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Now Gilda, it ain’t that I don’t trust ya but-” Applejack started to say before Gilda held up a tired talon.
“Don’t bother, I don’t think I can do anything to stop this.”
“Just promise me those two ain’t gonna let this spill over into the orchard,” she said as she gave Damien and Tyra a pained look.
Gilda turned to Applejack with an apologetic look in her eye. “I’ll do my best,” she promised, trying to put up a strong front for the distraught farmer. "Besides, he's not going to be using his magic," she muttered. "So you won't have to worry about... whatever it is he would do otherwise."
Applejack looked slightly less concerned at this news but still looked on in trepidation.
Several dozen yards away Damien and Tyra were looking each other over, looking for any obvious openings in the other’s guard. A casual observer could be forgiven for thinking they were nothing more than lifelike statues based on how little they were moving.
“Ain’t ya supposed to tell them to start or somthin’?” Applejack asked cautiously, slowly becoming unnerved by the feeling in the air between the two immobile combatants.
“No, they’ve already started,” Gilda replied, her eyes locked on the scene in front of her. “Only an idiot would just charge right into a fight against either of those two.
“Ah seem to recall Twi saying you did somethin’ like that a while back with Damien,” Applejack chortled in an attempt to relieve the tension.
“Like I said, an idiot,” she grumbled back.
Applejack was saved from continuing by a burst of movement in field before them. Both Damien and Tyra had shot forward at the same time, charging low along the ground and covering the intervening distance in the blink of an eye. Tyra started in with a savage swipe of her talons, aiming right at Damien’s face but he simply slid out of the way and brought a clenched fist upwards towards her exposed beak.
However she was ready for his counterattack and twisted her neck around, evading the blow with ease. Her dodge quickly turned into a counter-attack as she opened her beak and her head shot forward like a striking snake, aiming for Damien’s wrist. Yet as quick as she was Damien was faster and retracted his hand with a snap of his wings that took him out of her reach.
“You’re faster than I expected,” he said with a smirk. “Everyone I’ve met here so far probably would have been knocked out by that one.”
Tyra merely smiled and flapped her wings, launching herself into the air. Damien quickly followed suit and the two were soon circling each other warily. Without warning Tyra launched herself at him with a speed far surpassing that she had demonstrated on the ground. They clashed in in midair, bowling Damien over and locking each other in close combat. The ground roared towards them as their limbs blurred in a flurry of motion. Both combatants lashed out at the each other, each blow was just barely turned aside and followed by a counterattack.
Scant yards from the ground they split apart and flung their wings open to turn their respective suicide dives into a glide. The two landed several dozen yards from each other and turned towards each other to see how their opponent fared. Damien was sporting a long thin cut along his side that was oozing blood and Tyra had similar cuts on both forelimbs.
Both Applejack and Gilda stared on in silent amazement at the spectacle before them, although for different reasons.
“Lan’ sakes…” Applejack breathed. “Ah thought they were gonna kill themselves before all this was over.”
“Over?” Gilda chuckled in an attempt to hide her nervousness. “That was their warm-up.”
Applejack turned to the griffon with disbelieving eyes. “Yer not serious…” She turned back to see the combatants smiling at each other.
“It’s been a long time since I had such a thorough warm up. Almost as long as it’s been since someone actually managed to draw blood on me,” Tyra said with a grin as she flexed her wings murderously.
“Same here. I’ve only run into one other creature with the means and desire to cause me harm since I’ve come here. You have the honor of being the second,” Damien remarked.
The two shared a hearty laugh and almost seemed to have forgotten the fight. Until they both flashed into movement again. Tyra leapt into the air and swept mere inches from the ground, making use of her superior air speed to close in on Damien in a flash that would have done Rainbow Dash proud.
Damien, however, remained on the ground, flapping his wings once to lift himself on his hind legs and flaring them to keep his balance as he shifted into a strange two legged stance with both talons held in front of himself. Tyra was thrown off by his unorthodox stance and hesitated for a fraction of a second before shifting to strike out at his exposed underbelly, a strike that he was planning on her taking. As her claws approached his stomach he twisted to the side and grabbed her outstretched forelimb. Allowing Tyra’s momentum to carry her forward he pulled her forelimb towards himself and placed another talon on her shoulder. He finished his spin by driving all his weight into her shoulder and slamming the surprised griffon into the ground beak first.
He was about to lash out at her locked arm, intending to shatter her elbow when her wing snapped out and sent him sprawling to the side. He didn’t stop to assess the situation from where he landed; opting instead to roll immediately off to the side in time to evade another of Tyra’s piercing strikes. The ground where Damien had been laying was easily torn apart by her claws and looked as though someone had decided to plow only a tiny section of the field. Relying entirely on the sense of her presence he lashed out with a savage kick that slammed into her side that pushed her back several feet leaving a trio of cuts along her side.
She didn’t even bother to check her wounds as she shifted into a lower stance and glared suspiciously at Damien. For his part Damien had gotten back up and returned to his strange two legged stance, once again exposing his underbelly to his opponent. He smiled as beckoned her to come forward once more, going so far as to gesture at his stomach with a grin. Tyra shot forward with a growl, once again aiming straight for his stomach, only to flare her wings and shoot straight up at the last second, her frontal assault quickly turning into a reckless divebomb.
Damien’s grin never faltered as he twirled on one foot, handily avoiding Tyra’s dive while grabbing a passing wing. With a sharp yank he pulled her forward into his waiting fist, eliciting a loud and sickening crack from her ribs. To her credit Tyra didn’t even wince as she flew through the air away from Damien's balled up talon.
She slowly stood back up and watched Damien slowly shift into yet another unusual stance, her eyes slowly moving over his body as she contemplated her next move. With slow deliberate movements she ran a talon over her chest and suppressed a wince as she felt that her ribs bend more than was healthy. Without warning her beak suddenly split into a massive grin. “About time Gilda fell for someone with a little fire! When’s the wedding?”
Silence reigned for several minutes as Tyra’s words hung in the air. It was finally broken when Gilda finally managed to croak out a response. “The… the wedding?”
Tyra looked at her daughter as though she were feeble-minded. “The wedding. Where you two get married. When is it?”
“We… we haven’t really set a date yet… We’re still just… dating,” Gilda slowly managed to explain, her eyes twitching slightly.
Tyra’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You’re already living together aren’t you? You’re dating, living together, and now you have my approval. What are you waiting for? The approval of Damien’s parents?”
“Both long dead,” Damien supplied. When Tyra turned towards him Gilda shot him a dirty look over her mother’s shoulder. “What? Just letting you know you don’t need their approval. Can’t I be helpful?” he said with an innocent smile. The smile quickly vanished as a sudden thought crossed his mind. “This isn’t going to involve a lot of paperwork is it?”
Tyra shook her head. “Almost no paperwork at all, just a couple of forms, some signatures and it’s all official.”
“That’s what the mayor said when I bought my house,” Damien muttered darkly. “Spent hours on those pit damned things.” He pointed a talon towards Tyra threateningly. “If this takes too much paperwork I’m taking it out on you.”
“Well then, as long as we can get your pansy boyfriend to overcome his fear of paperwork we’re all set,” Tyra remarked as she turned back to her daughter. “We have everything we need don’t we? You never were big on girly things and fancy weddings are the pinnacle of girly so we could just head down to the town hall and get you married today!” She gave her daughter a big hug. “And here I thought you’d never get over your crush on that pegasus mare from flight school. What was her name again? Rainbow… something wasn’t it?”
Once again Tyra’s words brought on another silence. “Excuse me?” Applejack finally asked. “Ya don’t mean Rainbow Dash do ya?”
Tyra turned to Applejack with a smile. “That’s the one! Cyan coat, rainbow hair, almost as brash as Gilda, and full of enough hot air to lift an entire war blimp?”
“Yep, that’s Dash alright,” Damien assented with a massive grin as he shot Gilda a sly look. “I was wondering why you were so intent on heading in to Ponyville when we met! It figures you'd want to stay close to the one that stole your heart!”
Gilda’s face looked as though it could have glowed in the dark with how bright her blush was. “MOM!” she screamed as she looked back and forth between Applejack and Damien.
Tyra looked down at her daughter with a smile. “So that’s why you were so eager to leave home! Since you ended up with this fine warrior I suppose she rejected you?”
If possible it seemed that Gilda’s blush had gotten even brighter. “Yes, she did,” Gilda managed to mumble.
Applejack looked slightly surprised. When called out on this she sheepishly responded, “well, ya know… ya hear… things round town. That and Ah’ve never seen her accept an invite from any stallions an’ all. Most of us kinda figgered that… well… her barn door swung that way.”
Gilda’s blush slowly receded as the topic of conversation moved away from her own problems. “It was the same in flight school, that’s why I thought I had a chance. Turns out her ‘barn door’ doesn’t swing at all,” she said sourly. “She was very clear on that.”
“Wait, not at all?” Applejack asked slightly incredulously. “As in none? No… interests whatsoever?”
“That’s what she told me. You’ll have to ask her yourself if you want more.”
The four of them stood in silence for a moment until Tyra’s eyes widened in slight surprise. “The wedding!” She turned an accusatory glare at Gilda. “You almost made me forget all about it! Now let’s just head over to the town hall and we can get a marriage contract, get everything signed and you two can get started on getting me grandchildren!”
“G-grandchildren!?” Gilda squawked in horror.
“Of course! It's up to you to keep our noble family line alive after all! I don’t expect you to actually have kids right away but better to get started sooner rather than later. And I doubt you two are ignoring the necessary steps for getting children if you’re already living together,” she chuckled knowingly.
Gilda’s blush returned in full force and brought in reinforcements at her mother’s words. “N-no! We can’t get married!” her strangled voice cried out.
“And why not?” her mom asked. “He’s obviously well off and he is an excellent fighter.” She raised an eyebrow. “Sure he isn’t the most handsome griffon out there but if he’s half as good in bed as he is on the battlefield-”
“MOM!” Gilda screeched. “I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED!”
Tyra’s face suddenly grew cold and devoid of the mirth she had been displaying up till this point. “And why not?” she asked coldly.
Gilda squirmed and fidgeted under her mother’s gaze. “B-because I want a real wedding?” she said hesitantly.
Tyra’s face twisted into a disbelieving scowl. “I don’t believe that for a moment Gilda. You’ve never liked all that pomp and circumstance, certainly not enough to make you want to openly contradict me. Now I raised you from a cub and you can’t lie to me that easily. Why don’t you want to get married?”
Gilda’s eyes darted back and forth feverishly as she tried to find some method of escape from her current situation. “Because we aren’t dating!” she screamed suddenly.
Damien blinked in surprise and cursed softly, passing a couple coins to a grinning Applejack. For her part she was a graceful winner and tucked away her winnings with only a modicum of gloating apparent in her features.
Gilda’s eyes shot wide open as she realized what she had said. Her entire body began to tremble as ideas of what her mother would do to her for initiating this farce flooded her mind. Her trembling increased immensely as Tyra took several long slow steps towards her.
“Took you long enough,” Tyra said with a smirk. Behind her Applejack cursed and handed the coins she had just won back to Damien. He turned out to be a far less graceful winner.
“What?” Gilda finally managed to say, her eyes twitching dangerously. “You knew?” She turned her twitching glare towards Damien who quickly shook his head.
“Oh don’t blame him, I knew from the start.” Tyra gave her daughter a flat look. “I raised you to stand firm in your beliefs and I still remember your arguments with your father about how your crushes were not ‘just a phase’ you would get over when you found a good male,” she chided. “And you didn’t really think you could fool me any better than you could when you still lived under my wing could you?”
“But- You- I-” she continued to sputter and choke on her words for several more seconds. Deciding speaking was impossible she took a deep breath and did her best to compose herself before continuing. “You aren’t mad?” she finally asked.
“Mad? Of course I’m mad! You hid all this from me and thought you could actually trick me!” Tyra shouted as she smacked her daughter on the back of her head with enough force to send her sprawling to the ground. “But at least you’ve got friends that’ll stand behind you even when you do something stupid. That’s much more important than whether or not you’ve finally managed to land yourself a mate.” She shrugged non-committedly. “I honestly never expected you to get any sort of friends, let alone a mate so any step in the right direction is a blessing from the hunters.”
“Nice to know my own mother thinks I’m a failure,” Gilda grumbled.
Her disgruntled murmurings only served to earn her yet another smack to the back of the head. “Wake up Gilda, everyone fails! You just have to get back up and keep going. If you’d just given up you wouldn’t even be here right now complaining about me so get up off your ass and introduce me to your friends properly.” She threw a grin over her shoulder at Damien and Applejack as she hefted Gilda to her feet.
Gilda glared at Damien for several seconds before skipping over him and turning to Applejack. “This is Applejack. Applejack, my mother Tyra. Her family runs the apple orchard.”
Tyra extended a Talon and shook Applejack’s hoof warmly. “So was that your brother I saw on my way into town? Big red guy?”
“Yep, that sounds like Big Mac. The two of us run and tend all a Sweet Apple Acres,” she responded with a grandiose wave towards the fields of trees behind her.
Tyra blinked in surprise. “Two of you? Working all that?” she asked appraisingly.
“Yep. Though I did have to get some help from my friends one year when Big Mac busted his ribs right before applebuckin’ season,” Applejack admitted.
“Ha, and you’re honest too,” Tyra barked before looking her over carefully. “How’d you like to date my daughter? She could use someone responsible to keep her under control. And I’m no expert but you do seem pretty good looking.” She turned to Damien questioningly.
Damien took a moment to respond, somewhat incapacitated by his raucous laughter brought on by Tyra’s straightforward approach. “Not my type but she does have a rugged charm to her,” Damien managed to choke out between gales of laughter.
“So how about it?” Tyra asked with a grin as she turned back to Applejack while Gilda sputtered wordlessly in the background.
Applejack shook her head with a chuckle. “Sorry ma’am, my barn door doesn’t swing that way, thanks for the offer though. Besides, I’m sure Gilda’ll do just fine findin’ someone of her own soon enough.”
Off to the side Gilda was fuming in an embarrassed silence with a blush so bright it could be used in place of a lighthouse. With an angry glare she turned towards Damien, who by now was clutching his sides in laughter. “And you’ve already met the freak,” she growled, glad to be able to turn the rage at her embarrassment towards something that deserved it.
Damien rose to his feet with a flourish and a few small chuckles. “Oh come now my dear, that is no way to introduce me!” He flared his wings and rose on his hind legs as a cloud of smoke rose up around him. The smoke quickly resolved itself into a much larger version of himself and his voice boomed from the apparition’s beak. “I am Damien! Greatest of Fate’s foes and undefeated Lord of Darkness! Vanquisher of man and god alike!”
Tyra looked up at the apparition with an unimpressed air for a few seconds before padding over and looking at its ankles. Without warning she lashed out with a balled up talon and a dull thud, quickly followed by a pained yelp, was heard. The illusion dissolved to reveal Damien curled up on the ground groaning and shooting Tyra an impressed, but still angry, look. “I work for one of the most grandiose Manes the hunters have ever seen, a little illusion won’t fool me,” she commented airily. “The magic was surprising though, never seen any griffon but a Mane use it before.” She shrugged. “World’s a strange place.” Without any further comment she turned back to Applejack and Gilda, who were staring in stunned silence at Damien. “There any good restaurants around here? I’m starving!” she asked them with a grin.
<=[XXXXX]=>
They’d had to carry Damien most of the way back to town, only dropping him when they deemed him recovered enough to be using them only as a free ride. The fact that he still seemed to be wincing slightly as he walked did nothing to change their minds about carrying him further.
“Something occurs to me,” he said between winces as they reached the town’s outskirts. “You aren’t going to like any of these restaurants are you?” he asked Tyra with a sly grin.
Tyra blinked and pondered his question for a moment before her eyes widened in comprehension. “Damn, you’re right,” she muttered.
Off to the side Applejack turned to a now nervous Gilda and asked, “what the hay are they talkin’ about?”
Gilda sighed and faced Applejack. “Griffins are omnivores but most of us are almost strictly carnivorous, especially where my mom lives.”
Applejack looked taken aback by this. “Then you’ve…”
Gilda rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Yes, I’ve killed and eaten other animals before.” She gave Applejack a flat look. “Come on, there’s no way you thought I’d never eaten meat before, I’m a griffin!”
Applejack grimaced. “There’s a big difference between thinkin’ you might’ve and hearin’ that you actually have,” she grumbled. “An’ I take it yer mom don’t think too highly of non-meat meals right?”
Gilda nodded with a pained look in her eyes, “and meat isn’t the easiest thing to get around here. The only place with non-sentient animals is the Everfree. Even when I was living in there I mostly ate fish and whatever I could forage. Hunting usually meant fighting off timber wolves and other predators, possible but painful and not very smart. We mostly left each other alone because it wasn’t worth the effort otherwise,” she explained.
“Sounds like somethin’ you should’ve thought of before she got here,” Applejack commented.
“I was a little more worried about how she would handle Damien.”
“You girls gonna keep talking amongst yourselves or are we gonna get something to eat?” Damien interjected as he broke away from Tyra.
Gilda shot him a confused look. “You got her to accept a meal without meat?”
“Gates no! We’re just gonna head back to the house and I’ll make something.”
Gilda was even more confused now. “But you said…” Her eyes widened in comprehension. “We have meat? And you never told me!?”
“Of course! It’s in the basement under the house,” he laughed as he padded off to catch up with Tyra. “You can come too Applejack, won’t be too much trouble to make something extra for you,” he shouted over his shoulder.
Gilda was silent as Applejack trotted past her with a chuckle. “We have a basement?” she finally asked as she ran forward to try and catch up with the rest of the group.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gilda wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be surprised, confused, or maybe even scared of what Damien so nonchalantly had referred to as the basement. Even with her lack of any sense for magic even she could feel the raw power in the floor hatch Damien pulled open in back of the pantry. The fact that there were four handles and no hinges on the door only made the thing seem more intimidating.
“If you ever want to get in there make sure you pull the silver handle. Leave the other ones alone,” he cautioned them as he jumped down into the black hole in the floor in front of them.
Tyra followed without hesitation, leaping into the hole with a grin on her face. Applejack declined immediately. Magic was fine and dandy so long as she could see exactly what it was doing and Damien seemed to enjoy hiding his methods. That and the place was supposed to be where he stored meat and the sight of a butchered corpse was anathema to most anypony. Gilda groaned and debated for several seconds before dropping in herself, couldn’t look weak in front of her mother after all.
She was almost disappointed when the hole led into what looked like nothing more than a normal underground hallway. Several wooden doors adorned the side walls, one of which was open and had voices echoing from it. Sure the hole she had jumped down into had somehow managed to send her forward out of a similar hole in the basement’s wall but compared to what she had been expecting? Shaking her head at her suspicions she padded over to the open door and stepped into the side room.
The first thing she noticed was the corpses suspended from the ceiling. A quick glance showed a number of deer hanging from the ceiling, as well as several braces of fish. What truly caught her eye was the number of other creatures on display. There was a trio of manticores near the forefront, slightly obscuring six hydra heads. Beyond those was a pack of timber wolves and beyond them were even more creatures from far deeper in the forest. An ahool was stretched with its wings wide on one wall with a salamander, still smoldering, right next to it. A massive amarok had several hooks in each limb keeping it suspended from the ceiling and a large feathery wyvern hung from the ceiling just above its massive chest. Beyond these were even more ferocious creatures from deep within the darkest reaches of the forest.
“You… killed all of these?” Gilda asked slowly.
“Yeah, I try to just catch some deer, maybe a couple game birds too but these bastards usually end up finding me and trying to ruin my hunt.” He grinned at the hydra heads. “It took this idiot nearly a dozen heads to realize that trying to kill me was a bad idea.” His smile turned into a grimace. “Unfortunately most of these things taste terrible. Their bodies’re still gonna be useful for spell reagents though. That and undead guards reanimated with the blackest of foul magics to guard my home and fend off intruders.”
Gilda looked at him critically, trying her best to discern whether or not he was lying to her or not. She gave a tired sigh as, once again, she found she had no idea whether he was telling the truth. “Whatever, let’s just grab some deer or something and get started.”
Damien was silent for a moment. “Aren’t you going to ask why I never told you that I actually had meat down here?”
“It’s because I never asked,” Gilda shouted back as she stepped through the doorway.
Damien tapped his beak and slowly smiled. “Maybe there’s hope for her yet.” He turned towards Tyra. “You okay with the deer or you want to try something more exotic? I think I have some basilisk in the back if you’re feeling really adventurous.”
“You appear to be in a good mood,” Luna observed as she entered the dreamscape. Tonight’s setting looked to be something of Damien’s own design, a simple cliff overlooking the ocean and backed by a thick forest. He was already sitting on a cushion he had created for himself and was smiling contentedly.
“Today was a very interesting day,” he commented as he willed the imaginary sun to drop below to the horizon and let night fall over his dreamworld.
Luna smiled as she created a cushion for herself and sat down to observe the stars slowly come into existence. Although she saw the night sky every night when she raised the moon there was something different about seeing it come about by the claw of another, doubly so when the one forcing the change had complete control over the stars in the sky and could rewrite it to fit his whims. “We suppose this means that your time with Gilda’s mother was enjoyable then?”
“Exceedingly,” Damien chuckled. “Got to fight her, show off a bit more than I usually do, and she was able to figure out our ruse right from the beginning.” He grinned as he moved the stars above them around absentmindedly.
Luna raised a solitary eyebrow. “It is strange for you to celebrate such a failure,” she observed.
“Bah, I never really expected it to last that long. Most of my entertainment came from messing with Gilda while practicing. Maybe if she were a little more skilled at lying she would’ve lasted longer but such is life,” he said with a shrug. “Now I believe you thought she’d last a whole two days if I remember correctly.”
Luna huffed and looked away for several seconds before turning back. “Indeed we did. However if we remember correctly we never actually bet anything on our guesses.”
Damien smirked. “But I believe you will find my desired prize rather… interesting,” he intimated.
“And what might that be?” Luna asked cautiously. Damien’s choice of the word interesting to describe his suggestion could easily be enjoyable or distressing. Given his track record distressing was the more likely of the two now that she thought about it.
“According to Pinkie there’s going to be a large celebration in Ponyville at the end of the month. Something called Nightmare Night.” He grinned slyly at her. “I believe you are actually the inspiration for it if I remember correctly.”
“We have heard of this Nightmare Night,” Luna grumbled. “It is so nice to see that our time before our banishment was so well remembered in old mare’s tales and this most flattering of holidays,” she deadpanned. “Why do you bring this up to us? Out sister has already tried several times to cajole us into participating in this farce.”
“Because I am planning on setting up a haunted house and want you to run through it. What better advertisement for a terrifying attraction than that even the mighty Nightmare Moon was left pale and shivering by my display!” he crowed.
“You wish to use us as a publicity stunt?” she asked incredulously. “And what exactly would we be getting out of this?”
“Well there’d be a chance to show that you can connect with your subjects, you’d have an excuse to leave the castle for a while, meet the element bearers, maybe make some friends, and if you can make it through the haunted house you’ll even be able to meet me in person!” He smiled as he ticked the reasons off on his talons while shooting her a sly look.
“And you automatically assume we desire to see you in person after what happened to us last time?” Luna asked with a sarcastic smile.
“Of course!” He grinned. “Ho else are you going to get your revenge?”
Luna blinked at this. “We have no idea what you are talking about,” she sniffed.
“Oh come now my dear, everyone likes a good bit of revenge. And what better time to get your revenge for my most dastardly deed than on a night dedicated to pranking one’s friends?” He smiled as he saw the spark of interest growing in her eyes. “Of course there’s no way I’ll be going down without a fight.”
“We had heard something to this effect,” she admitted grudgingly. “We admit that this did little to endear us to the idea of such a holiday.”
“I don’t see why not. Having an entire night dedicated to your ability to mess with others sounds grand. After all I-” Damien was cut off midsentence as he vanished from the dreamscape.
Luna was left staring at the now empty dreamscape. Having lost Damien’s influence it had already begun to deteriorate and fade back into the collective subconscious. “He must have woken up,” she said wonderingly. Part of her worried that something might have happened, it was only two in the morning and Damien seemed to greatly enjoy being able to sleep in. “No matter, he shall tell us what has happened tomorrow,” she said with a hint of remorse at having their meeting ended so abruptly. Although her remorse had more to do with the fact that she now had no reason to ignore the pile of paperwork on her desk that she had put off doing by going to visit Damien.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien’s eyes snapped open to the sight of Tyra shaking him roughly awake. A deep growl echoed up from his throat as he snarled a quick spell that sent the griffon in question flying back towards the far wall.
Instead of slamming into the wall as was Damien’s intent Tyra simply flipped back and easily landed on the wall without being hurt. Seeing he was awake and had stopped attacking, for now anyway, she leapt down from her awkward position and shot him a smirk. “Nice try, now get up. It’s time for some training,” she said happily.
“Training?” Damien asked as he tried to process what was going on. His eyes snapped into focus as a new question came to the forefront of his mind. “How did you get in here? I locked the door before I went to sleep.”
Tyra smiled cockily and produced a small key. “All the locks in your house use the same key. Gilda was generous enough to provide me with hers when I woke her up.”
Damien’s eyes narrowed at this. “I thought she didn’t get up to head into the office until three,” he grumbled sourly.
“Yes but she hasn’t done any training since she left home and I’m not going to let her go soft on me while I’m around!” She looked meaningfully in his direction. “She also mentioned that you never do any training either so I figured I should get you in on this too. Need to keep your skills sharp after all.”
“My skills are sharp enough already. I don’t need training,” Damien grumbled. “It was enough to win against you after all, and I didn’t even have to use any magic either.”
“Exactly! Think about how much better you could be if you actually had a regular training regimen!” Tyra exclaimed as she padded over to Damien’s bed and grabbed him by the tail.
“I came to Ponyville to relax and be able to not need to train!” he protested as he tried, unsuccessfully, to wrest control of his tail from Tyra’s iron grip.
“Bah! You never stop training!” she crowed as she threw him through his open bedroom door where he skidded to a halt at the claws of a smiling Gilda.
“I hate you so much right now,” he growled up at her.
“What can I say, I like to spread my suffering around,” she replied happily.
“Alright! If you two cubs are done talking it’s time for some push-ups! Two hundred of ‘em ought to be enough to start!” Tyra shouted out at them.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien had to admit, despite his fervent wishes otherwise, the workout had been very enjoyable. There was something rejuvenating about pushing one’s body to its limits. Not that he was likely to let this incident repeat itself. As far as he was concerned he should only have to do what he wanted when he wanted, everyone else be damned. Besides the idea of designing the necessary spells and procedures to keep Gilda and Tyra from repeating today’s performance promised a good deal of entertainment. His enjoyable scheming about just how he was going to keep Tyra out of his room was quickly interrupted by the griffon in question.
“Enjoying yourself?” she asked as she swung a claw at his face.
“A bit,” he admitted as he ducked underneath the blow slid out of her reach. “Your constantly goading me into a fight is getting old though.”
She barked out a quick laugh as she shot forward and slashed at him. “It’s only because you keep dodging! Get hit like Gilda did and I might stop!”
“I think you also stopped because she has to leave for work in ten minutes. Can’t deliver mail if you’ve been beaten senseless by your mother after all,” he chuckled as he slipped past another strike and grabbed her outstretched talon.
With a flap of her wings she managed to twist herself free of his grip and lash out at his kick from her new aerial position. “That only shows she’s gotten soft since she left the nest. Back when she was still living with me and Brandon she lasted much longer!”
“I take it that’s your husband?” Damien asked as he dropped to the floor and rolled away just before Tyra slammed into the ground in an attempt to pin him.
“That’s right. He’s the head of the local artificer’s guild. Smartest damn griffon that ever lived,” she boasted as she continued her assault on Damien’s rolling form.
“I’ll have to scry him some time, doesn’t look like Gilda inherited much of his smarts,” he grunted as Tyra landed a glancing blow on his side.
“She did take after me a bit more,” Tyra admitted as she pressed her advantage, raining blow after blow down towards Damien.
Still rolling along the ground Damien snaked his tail around one of Tyra’s hind legs and yanked it out from under her. The scant moments it took her to regain her balance were enough for him to rocket up from the ground and grab her by the throat. “I noticed that,” he said conversationally as his other hand formed a spade and rocketed forward, only to stop scant inches from her heart.
Tyra chuckled as she looked down at Damien’s talon. “And that makes another round to you.”
Damien smiled wanly and released his grip on her throat. “And I suppose that just gives you another reason to try and wrest a win from me?”
“Damn straight! I’ve never seen someone improve this fast. Need to see just how good I can force you to get.”
Damien sighed tiredly. “So if I lose..?”
“Now I’ll assume you did it to try and get me off your back and-” Her eyes snapped to a point behind Damien’s back and her eyes flashed dangerously. “Gilda! You aren’t going to leave without saying goodbye are you?” she shouted.
Gilda froze in the act of opening the door and turned to give her mother a sheepish grin. “O-of course not,” she managed to choke out. “I’m heading out for work now, bye mom.”
“And..?” Tyra asked.
Gilda heaved a sigh and glared at Damien. “Goodbye freak,” she grumbled. Her goodbyes finished she quickly reached back for the door handle only to pause as her mother’s voice filed the air once more.
“And?”
Gilda’s eyes shrank as she turned back to her mother. “But-”
“No buts Gilda, now come over here,” Tyra admonished her sternly.
Suppressing a groan Gilda walked over to Tyra and gave her a quick hug. Before she could get away Tyra swept her into a massive bear hug and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. “MOM!” she cried out in horror as she struggled free. “I’m not a cub anymore!”
Tyra chuckled as she watched Gilda rush to the door and shoot out into the early morning gloom. “You’ll always be my little girl,” she whispered to herself with a smile.
Damien stood in the background in shock, trying to find something, anything, to say in response to what he had just seen. He had been planning on doing something to mess with Gilda in response to her part in helping Tyra wake him up so early in the morning. Petty to be true but he was a rather petty individual. But in the face of all that Tyra had done anything he could think of felt lacking. It certainly helped that every single thing Tyra had done had been wholeheartedly genuine, made the entire thing more embarrassing for Gilda. In the end he settled for walking over to Tyra and placing a forelimb over her shoulder. “I think I just might love you right now.”
Tyra laughed for a moment before grabbing his arm and throwing him into a wall. “Sorry, I’m happily married.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
Tyra had, thankfully, ceased her attempts to continue the exercise regime after Gilda had left and it had fallen to Damien to make something for them to eat. “Now that Gilda is gone do ya think you could give me a little blackmail material on her? She’s pretty tight-lipped about… pretty much anything related to her past,” he started in conversationally as he laid several long thick strips of bacon on a massive iron skillet.
“Blackmailing material?” Tyra asked with a tired smirk.
“Preferably any embarrassing stories I can hold over her head. At best something her friends don’t know about so I can really mess with her.” He glanced over his shoulder and caught the annoyed glare Tyra was throwing his way. “Or you can just tell me something so I can understand the girl better,” he acceded despondently. “But they better be interesting or no bacon for you!” he shouted as he exuberantly swung his spatula towards her and pointed it at her menacingly, a wry smile.
“Anything in particular you want to know?” she asked with a small chuckle.
Damien was silent for a moment as he cracked open several eggs and began toasting some bread. “How exactly did the daughter of a high ranking bodyguard and a master artificer end up having to go to a pony flight school?”
Tyra’s eyes widened slightly in surprise at his question. “You go straight for the hard ones don’t you?” she asked sourly.
“Centuries of experience picking apart the psyches of the idiots that kept trying to kill me. There’s always something amusing about managing to bring a would-be hero to tears by tearing apart his motives, history, and failings with an hour of carefully chosen barbs,” Damien responded cheerfully. “Scrying spells and past reading tended to help a lot with that though.” He paused as he felt Tyra’s eyes boring into the back of his skull. “Don’t worry; I haven’t done that since I came here. Neither shattering psyches nor going behind the backs of others to learn about them. That sort of stuff makes people angry and angry people eventually decide I’m better off a corpse than a member of society.”
Tyra glared at Damien for several more seconds before slowly starting into her story, “it’s true that Brandon and I are both very respected now but it wasn’t always like that. The griffon nation is made up of thirteen city-states and Castle Aeries. Each city-state is ruled by a Mane, but there are more Manes then there are ruling positions. Most of the… excess Manes join the Unified Council at Castle Aeries in hopes of becoming the Grand Speaker, the ultimate authority in inter-city disputes. But sometimes more ambitious Manes take it into their claws to try and supplant a ruling Mane’s family for control of a city,
“This leads to most of the ruling Manes being understandably paranoid. Some of the more zealous ones will do everything in their power to discredit any other Manes in the city in order to prevent a coup. Pike, the Mane I serve, had the misfortune of being too successful while under the rule of one such Mane. Apparently the clawless worm thought that any griffon that had the loyalty of both the city’s greatest fighter and its greatest artificer was planning to take wrest control from its ‘rightful ruler’.” Tyra sighed angrily at the memory. “So he banished Pike. Banishment is a big deal for griffons. It basically labels us as disloyal, untrustworthy, and the lowest of the low,
“With that sort of reputation finding a safe haven anywhere in griffon lands is impossible, even for a Mane. In the end he had no choice but to leave for another country. The minotaur archipelago was out of the question due to their distrustful nature. The changelings would have gladly taken him in but their queen wouldn’t have let him stay without pledging his loyalty to her, forcing him to remain there forever. The zebra tribes would have welcomed him but staying with them would give him no chance to gain enough influence to regain his standing with the griffons. Going to the buffalo would have had the same results so they were out as well. The only nation that would take him in, let him retain his freedom, and give him a chance at returning home was Equestria.”
“And I take it that since loyalty is so highly prized among griffons you and your husband followed him into banishment?” Damien asked as he placed a plate full of bacon, eggs, and heavily buttered toast in front of her.
She stared at the meal for several moments before continuing, her recitation pausing occasionally as she would take a bite of the meal in front of her. “Yes. Of course the bastard that exiled him made it quite clear that we would be welcome to stay, abandoning one that had been banished doesn’t have any social or political stigma attached to it because they are already seen as undeserving of such values. But we left anyway. Gilda was only two years old then.” A faint trace of wetness appeared in her eyes as old memories resurfaced. “It took ten years for Pike to build up a powerbase strong enough to go and usurp that old bastard. Ten years where I had to work whatever jobs I could find because ponies would never trust a griffon bodyguard and work for warriors is near impossible to find here. Ten years where Brandon couldn’t practice his craft in anything but secret due to his oaths with the guild. Ten years of Gilda growing up away from her people, from her culture. We did our best to impart our values to her but it was difficult for her. Ponies tend to be distrustful of the other races and she never really had many friends.” She smiled sadly.
Damien chuckled good-naturedly. “Well she seems to be on the right track for making friends now. She’s still rather abrasive when it comes to most people but with Dash and the others to fall back on she’ll manage just fine,” he assured her. Suddenly his eyes gleamed mischievously. “In fact I think you should insist to meet with her friends today. Best to see how well she’s getting along right?”
Tyra gave him a flat stare for several seconds before looking down at her meal and sighing. “You seem to have an amazing ability to turn what I was already planning on doing into something to be apprehensive about. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“Oh believe me I am,” he said with a dark chuckle.
With nothing better to do, or rather with nothing else he wanted to do, Damien had slunk off to his room as soon as the meal had finished, declaring that he was going to make it impervious against nosy griffons with no proper ideas of what constituted a good night’s sleep. Tyra had tried to stop him but quickly discovered that Damien had no compunctions about sneaking mildly paralytic poisons into other’s food and had escaped with depressing ease. Any further attempts at trying to force her way into his room had resulted in the sort of abject failure that only the truly sadistic and well-prepared can engineer.
That’s not to say that Tyra gave up quickly. She spent several hours attempting to drag Damien back out of his magical bunker, at first due to a desire to actually get him out but later due to the simple fact that there was precious little else to do this early in the morning. It was after a particularly distressing failure that she heard the crash. Her head snapped up and her gaze locked on the front door. Several different theories went through her mind as to the origin of the crash before she remembered that since she was in Ponyville right now all of her usual ideas were invalid. Realizing then that a crash usually meant someone needed help she decided to see what exactly had happened outside.
He opened the door quickly and scanned the front lawn to see a grey pegasus mare lying in a crumpled heap a few yards from the front door. She blinked in slight confusion as the pegasus in front of her twitched slightly and suddenly sprung up as though nothing had happened.
“Mail’s here!” she chirped enthusiastically as she reached into her saddlebag and pulled out several letters.
Tyra glanced down at the proffered letters, noting that without even looking into the bag the mare had somehow managed to grab only the letters addressed to this house. However before she could reach out and take the letters a small hole of pure darkness opened up between the two of them and a familiar forearm shot out to grab the letters before vanishing again. Tyra glanced down in shock at the hole’s sudden appearance and similarly sudden disappearance while the pegasus simply turned around to leave. Apparently she had dealt with this sort of thing before.
As Tyra shook her head and turned to head back into the house a new thought shot through her mind. Gilda worked at the post office. That mare was a mailmare. That mare worked with Gilda. A happy smile spread across her beak. Surely the mailmare would be able to tell her how Gilda was doing at work. Her grin now fully bloomed across her beak she spread her wings and took to the sky with a mighty gust of air.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Derpy’s mind was wandering as it always did when she was doing her mail runs. Surprisingly the fact that she was paying almost no attention to her surroundings actually reduced her accident rate to near zero. It was only when she had to sweep down and make a bee-line towards a customer’s mailbox and focus directly on something that she tended to crash. However one downside to her lack of spatial awareness was that she never quite realized when someone else was nearby. Although this was usually not a problem in that very few ponies willingly got within several yards of her for fear of getting caught in one of her legendary accidents.
“You’re Derpy right?” a sudden voice asked just off to the side.
She blinked in confusion. Everypony in Ponyville knew better than to fly next to her, especially after the waffle incident. One of her eyes rolled around and fixed itself on the griffon flying next to her. “That’s me! Who’re you?”
Tyra grinned and gave a small wave, shaking hands, or hooves, midflight was a hard thing to make end well for all involved. “I’m Tyra.”
Derpy’s eyes widened happily as she gasped in recognition of the name. “You’re Gilda’s mom!”
Tyra laughed easily and nodded. “Sorry for not introducing myself when I saw you earlier.”
Derpy was silent for a moment as she thought back to their first exchange not ten minutes ago. “Oh yeah! You were at Damein’s house! I thought you might be his marefriend,” she said thoughtfully.
Tyra laughed again. “I doubt any female would be able to stand him long enough to start a relationship. No, I’m just here to visit my daughter.”
“Hooray!” Derpy cheered as she dropped out of the sky like a rock towards a waiting mailbox.
Tyra flinched slightly at the dull thud from Derpy’s crash landing, but like earlier she seemed completely unfazed by her drop from the sky. A powerful flap of her wings stopped her above the house in question while Derpy quickly placed the letters into the mailbox below. “Do you always land like that,” she asked when Derpy rejoined her in the sky.
“Course not! Just got distracted,” Derpy explained cheerfully before quickly segueing into the next subject. “Gilda mentioned you today.”
“Really now,” Tyra said with a smirk. “What did she say?”
Derpy looked pensive for a moment and suddenly shot down towards the ground again before offering any sort of answer.
Tyra rolled her eyes but excused the interruption; the mare had a job to do after all, and hovered less than contentedly over the most recent mailbox. As soon as the mare rejoined her in the sky she immediately brought her question up again. “What did Gilda say about me?”
“Not much,” Derpy acceded. “Just that you were here.” A kind smile spread across her muzzle. “She looked really happy ‘bout it though,” she chirped.
Tyra blinked in slight surprise and paused in midair as Derpy’s words struck home. A small smile broke out on her beak as she flapped her wings to catch up with Derpy. “Wait up. I still need to know how she’s been doing at her job. Girl never tells me anything.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“I still say this would be a good deal easier if your people actually wrote these things down,” Damien said wearily as he slowly measured out a portion of heart’s desire.
“Our ways are only for those of that we chose, in writing them it is that we lose,” Zecora responded easily as she began sorting through the herbs and plants Damien had brought to her hut.
“I suppose I should be grateful that you deem me worthy of learning these secrets then,” he chuckled as the mortar and pestle floated through the air into his absently outstretched talon.
Zecora favored him with a small smile before responding. “It is try that I see that in you, but I was willing to teach the crusaders too.”
Damien grimaced slightly at this. “Ah, yes. So you’re willing to teach all who ask so long as they are willing to come to you to teach?” he asked. “And here I thought I was special,” he said as she nodded with that small secretive smile. “Bah, then I suppose it’s just everyone else’s loss that they don’t all come to learn from you.” He swept the ingredients he had been working with into a small clay bowl, examining it with a careful eye.
“I suppose I must admit, you surprised me quite a bit. Many come to me to learn, knowledge of my potions they wish to earn. Yet few possess that special skill, to make the potion do what they will. A special talent so rare to find, to these potions the magic bind. The crusaders had the spark it’s I knew, but not the gift whole and true. Yet you bind them all with ease, your potions eager all to please,” she practically sang.
“Gates,” Damien muttered appreciatively. “I never really stood a chance against you in that rhyming competition did I?” he asked with a chuckle.
Zecora simply smiled and finished started the long task of tying up the herbs that needed to be dried as well as putting the remainder into small clay jars for safekeeping. “I remember now you have yet to say, why it is you came so soon today,” she prompted him as she began to expertly loop string around the branches of several plants.
“Couldn’t it be for desire both to learn from and be near such a beautiful mare such as you?” Damien asked as he spread his talons beseechingly.
Zecora snorted and continued to tie up the plants before her. “You honeyed words and silver tongue will not suffice, for you to tell me truly is my advice.”
Damien sighed melodramatically and shot a quick glance at the potion he was working on, a few moments more were needed for the ingredients to mix perfectly. “Sometimes you are no fun at all my dear.” He shook his head resignedly. “It seems Momma Tyra’s idea of a good morning involves waking me before the witching hour and undergoing a rigorous but blessedly short workout until her daughter has to go to work.” He laughed lightly. “It took me some time to escape and dredge up more potent defenses for my room. When I was finished with that I had nothing else to do than attempt to bump our little soiree forward a notch.” He fixed her with a resolute eye. “Is that explanation enough for you m’lady?”
“Indeed it is my griffin friend, even if I am simply a means to an end,” the zebra chuckled.
Damien rolled his eyes at this and almost absentmindedly dumped the small mortar of ingredients into a larger metal bowl that boasted several glowing red runes. “You are more than a means to an end; you are one of the precious few I have met since coming here that I actually respect.” A far-away look began to creep into his eyes as heat began to rise from the interior of the bowl in front of him. “Those that I would place so highly in my mind are few and far between and you are one such individual.” He favored her with a short bow before turning his attention back to the potion in front of him. The next few steps would be crucial for its success.
Zecora was slightly stunned by his moment of frank sincerity. “It is rare to hear such a thing from you, to the point where one might doubt if it was true. But such honesty shines in your eyes, when like that you can tell no lies.”
“Or I am very good at lying,” Damien shot over his shoulder as he poured his mixture into a glass vial and held it up to the light. “What do you think?” he asked Zecora as placed the vial in the air between them.
Zecora chuckled lightly at how quickly Damien had changed the subject and turned her gaze to the floating vial. The vivid yellow fluid within seemed to pulse and dance with a life of its own and fill the air around it with energy. “Indeed you have made this potion true, will you say why you wanted this brew?”
“Nightmare Night is coming up and this little vial will get me exactly what I need in order to make sure everything works out perfectly.”
“A holiday I have I'm sure you will celebrate quite fine, but what help can you get from bottled sunshine?”
Damien grinned evilly. “It’s not what I can do with it but what others are willing to do in order to get their hands on it,” he said ominously.
Zecora gave him a flat stare and merely shook her head. She knew better than to rise to his bait. “Since your potion now is done, I believe I must go to town on a supply run. The forest holds many treasures foul and fair, but Ponyville too has treasures to share.”
“I’ll come with. The market should be set up by the time we get there and there are a few things I need to pick up. That and no gentleman would leave a beautiful lady to navigate such treacherous woods alone,” he said with a smirk and a grandiose bow.
“I will keep that in mind should I run into one, now shall we go or are you not done?”
Damien merely smiled and grabbed the vial out of the air, quickly stowing it inside his satchel. “No respect at all.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
Unsurprisingly Damien and Zecora managed to pass through the forest completely unmolested. Apparently the thought of angering The Forest Witch as well as the Griffin Hunter at the same time was too horrific for even the boldest predator to contemplate. In fact the first few moments of entering Ponyville were more eventful than their entire time in the forest.
Despite months of intermittent visits Zecora’s appearance in town was always met with trepidation at best and outright disapproval at worst. A fact that Damien did not let pass without comment.
“It never ceases to amuse me how the presence of a flesh eating griffin is seen as less of a potential threat than a well-intentioned zebra alchemist,” he said with a chuckle.
“It is not surprising it is me they fear, unlike you I am rarely here. And that terror is not just for me, but for my life inside the Everfree,” the mare said sadly. “The Everfree is strange and fae, it will take some time their fears to allay.”
“I’m going to take that as meaning that I need to force you to come into town more often.” He paused momentarily as his eyes brightened with inspiration. “Maybe if I set up a gateway between your home and the town! Give you a way to avoid the commute and make travel easier. Would take a good deal of blood though, virgin preferably, some fully charged gemstones, and a way to protect beings that aren’t me from being devoured by What Lies Between.” He caught Zecora’s deadpan glare. “Fine!” He threw his forelimbs into the air exasperatedly. “Why does no one ever take me up on that one?” he grumbled.
“Damien, are you trying to tempt ponies with dark magic again?”
Damien blinked in surprised and turned to see Twilight giving him a long suffering look. “It is but a part of who I am my dear, you should know this better than most.” He smirked. “Still waiting for you to take me up on that offer on how to make a mentally commanded self-updating scheduler by the way.”
“You said that would require siphoning off a part of my soul and permanently bonding it to my day planner.”
“And I still say you ponies are far too attached to those things. It’s just a small piece and it’ll grow back in only a couple decades! Pit, I’ve done it to myself a dozen times. The pain only lasts for a few seconds. Sure it feels like millennia during those few seconds but you get used it after a while.”
“Somehow that doesn’t really make it any more appealing,” Twilight replied before turning to Zecora. “Hello Zecora, is anypony giving you trouble?”
“My time in Ponyville has improved to be sure, but some distrust I must still endure,” she replied with a small, sad, smile. “But true friends I have made, others they try to persuade.” Her smile became far warmer as she nodded towards Twilight and shot a quick glance towards Damien. “But is my turn to ask of you my dear, why is that you are now here?” she asked as she gestured towards the restaurant Twilight sitting at.
“Oh! Gilda wanted her mom to meet all her friends so we’re gathering here for lunch,” Twilight explained. “Well, except for Applejack. She has some things to take care of around the farm and she said that she already met with Tyra,” she quickly amended. “Everypony else should be here soon, would you like to join us?”
“I’m afraid I have many tasks to do, and thus I cannot be joining you,” Zecora replied apologetically.
“I’ll have to decline as well. I don’t think I’ll be getting much time in the house alone to work on my enchantments. That woman strikes me as the type to drag all those around her into something or other if she can,” Damien replied.
“You still aren’t done enhancing your house? I thought you said your wards were done,” Twilight asked suspiciously.
“I said that the wards were passable. They still need a lot of work. But I have other things to focus on right now. Self-cleaning rooms, indestructible walls, a way to open the Gates from this world... the usual really,” Damien replied before his gaze snapped to a distant stall. “Is that Alloy? I thought he wasn’t going to get back from his mining expedition for a week! He better have some more silver this time!” he grumbled as he spread his wings and shot into the sky.
“You… don’t think he was serious about that opening the Gates thing right?” Twilight asked hesitantly as she watched Damien land in front of the distant stall.
“Damien makes great wonders but sings tall boasts as well, on his common lies we should not dwell,” Zecora replied easily, despite a small part of her wondering if this really was one of Damien’s idle boasts. “In any case it is nice to see you I must say, may you enjoy the rest of your fine day,” she said in farewell as she bowed and turned to the market.
“It was nice to see you too!” Twilight called after the zebra mare.
“Was that Zecora?”
Twilight turned inquisitively towards the questioning voice. “Gilda! I didn’t expect you to get here so soon!” she exclaimed as she saw the mildly irate griffin standing before her. “Oh, right,” she amended as she noticed the scowl on Gilda’s beak. “That was Zecora, yes. She comes into town every now and again to buy things she can’t get in the forest. How do you know her?”
“There isn’t exactly much good conversation in the Everfree. I ran into her every so often and we’d usually chat for a while.” A soft growl rumbled up from her chest as she looked at Twilight’s expression of slight disbelief. “Even I get lonely form time to time!” she cried defensively.
Twilight merely smiled at Gilda’s reaction and pulled a chair out for her to take. “Where’s your mom? I’ve got lots of questions to ask her!”
Gilda groaned and dropped her head to the table, her beak eliciting a sharp crack as it collided with the tabletop. “She’s spending some time with Derpy. Probably swapping embarrassing stories about em or something.”
“I’m sure she’s doing nothing of the sort,” Twilight replied confidently.
Gilda’s scathing response was cut off as a gust of wind blew past them and the mothers in question landed before them, one with slightly more grace than the other.
“Gilda!” Tyra exulted. “Derpy told me about your first mail run!”
Gilda’s only response was to give Twilight the clearest ‘I told you so’ look in the history of Equestria.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Thankfully Tyra’s near continuous recitations of stories about Gilda’s childhood was quickly brought to an end by the arrival by the rest of the party. Pinkie arrived in her usual manner, bouncing along the street as though she had forgotten what she was doing and somehow managing to make a perfect 90 degree turn, midair no less, as she was about to pass the table. Fluttershy and Rarity arrived together, Rarity having been enjoying the larger than usual bazaar turnout and Fluttershy visiting with a number of pet owners that had required her assistance with one subject or another. Rainbow Dash was, true to her style, last and arrived with her usual over the top style. Instead of simply flying down to the gathering or, Celestia forbid, walking there, she had chosen to run through one of her more complex sets of tricks the moment she was in view of the group, an effect that was spoiled when she picked up a touch too much speed on her last loop and nearly slammed into the ground, only turning aside at the last second. Not that she admitted to having messed up of course.
“Well since all you’re other friends are here I think it’s time for some introductions!” Tyra said with a grin as she surveyed the five ponies in front of her.
Gilda jumped slightly at her mother’s outburst but dutifully began pointing out and naming her friends. “This is Twilight Sparkle. She runs the town library and is the student of Princess Celestia.” The faintest hint of a smile graced her beak. “She helped me a lot when I moved here.”
Tyra smiled as she saw the nearly imperceptible smile on her daughter’s beak and shook Twilight’s hoof warmly. “Glad someone out there is willing to put up with my daughter enough to help her out so much. I’ll definitely be sleeping easier knowing she’s got someone like you looking out for her,” she said as Twilight blushed at the compliments.
“It’s nothing, really. She just needed help and I’m learning so much about friendship myself I figured it helping others would be a perfect way to see how far I’ve come,” Twilight responded humbly.
Gilda groaned slightly and turned to the next Pony in line. “This is Pinkie Pie, she works at the bakery and probably keeps every single party supply store here in business by herself.”
Pinkie didn’t wait for Tyra to extend a talon in greeting, instead rocketing around the table and grabbing hold of a talon with a huge grin. “So you’re Gilda’s mom right? I always kinda wanted to meet another griffin after I met Gilda ‘cause I wanted to know if they were all meanies because Gilda was kinda mean when she first came to visit but then she came back and started acting nice because she wanted to be friends with Dash again and I started wondering if more griffins were like meanie Gilda or well not nice Gilda because Gilda doesn’t like being called nice maybe happy Gilda or peaceful Gilda I like happy Gilda more because it has the word happy in it and HEY do you like cupcakes or cake or strudels because I’m thinking of hosting a ‘Enjoy your Stay in Ponyville’ party for you so that you’ll have lots of fun while you’re here and I want to make sure that there’s plenty of food that you like ad Gilda never really tells me if other griffins like sweet things or if they all just nibble at them at try to say nice things about the like she does it’s a little weird that she doesn’t really like sweet things all that much do you like sweet things?” Pinkie said to a stunned Tyra.
“Yes?” she managed to respond as soon as she was sure that Pinkie’s tidal wave of words had finally rolled over her and gave her daughter a questioning look.
“Yes she’s always like that,” Gilda said with a smirk before turning towards Fluttershy. “This is Fluttershy, she’s the vet and occasional impromptu nurse.”
“H-hello,” Fluttershy squeaked as she tentatively held out a hoof.
Tyra smiled and rolled her eyes as she shook the proffered hoof. “You knew Gilda back in Flight Camp right? Thanks for patching up Gilda so often.”
“Y-you’re welcome,” she stuttered, a small smile on her face.
“Then Rarity, she owns the local clothing boutique.”
Tyra blinked in surprise as Rarity delicately held out a hoof. “Hard to believe you’re friends with her,” she said as she shook Rarity’s hoof.
“You were surprised when you heard I’d made any friends,” Gilda pouted.
“Not you. Rarity. Hard to believe a situation where a lady like her would have met you,” Tyra said with a chuckle.
“Gilda has actually been quite courteous when the mood strikes her,” Rarity said graciously.
Tyra snorted doubtfully. “And Rainbow Dash correct?” she asked as she held out a talon.
“That’s me, best flyer in Equestria,” Dash said proudly as she held out a hoof.
Tyra grabbed Dash’s hoof and pulled her close. “I don’t blame you for breaking my daughter’s heart but if you hurt her again I’ll tear out your eyes and feed them to you,” she whispered, just loud enough for Dash to hear. “Now where’s that waiter?” she asked the table at large.
The rest of the meal passed with surprisingly little incident, mainly due to Tyra actually finding a meal that sated her appetite without making any of the ponies uneasy. Dash, however, seemed to be slightly tense for the entire meal, only taking part in the conversation when directly addressed. However it wasn’t until the end of the meal when Tyra left to use the restroom that the others were able to bring up her distressing silence.
“Dash, you’ve been quite quiet throughout the entire meal, is something the matter?” Rarity asked, concern apparent in her expression.
“Nope! Nothing’s wrong, just don’t feel like talking right now,” Dash replied quickly.
“It’s probably because my mom threatened her,” Gilda remarked nonchalantly. “What?” she asked when all eyes turned towards her.
“Why would she do that?” Fluttershy asked.
Gilda sighed. “You know griffins are really big on honor and loyalty right?” there was a round of nods. “Well one of the biggest things about being honorable and loyal is looking out for family. Parents care for children; children keep an eye out for parents and all that junk. Last time I was here some… things happened between me and Dash that left me kinda depressed. That sort of thing kinda pisses off my mom and she wanted to let Dash know, hence the threat. Which one did she use anyway?” she asked Dash with a small smile.
Dash was taken aback by the strange question but shrugged and acquiesced. “She said that she’d tear out my eyes and make me eat them,” she said with a small shudder as she recalled the look in Tyra’s eyes as she had said that.
Gilda just laughed and shook her head. “She always uses that one. That’s the threat she uses when she just wants to scare someone. She’s never actually followed through with it,” Gilda assured her friends. “That I know of anyway,” she amended not long after.
Dash shook her head in slight disbelief. “Your mom is terrifying. You know that?”
Gilda grinned happily. “If it makes you feel any better as long as you’re my friend she won’t do anything too disfiguring to you.”
“So I better not piss you off then,” Dash replied wryly.
“She wouldn’t really do something like that would she?” Fluttershy asked. “She seemed so nice.”
“Well she is a trained bodyguard right?” Twilight asked. “Because I know some of Celestia’s bodyguards have had to do some pretty… unpleasant things to keep her safe and Equestria is much more peaceful that the griffin cities. If anything I’d be surprised if she wasn’t willing to go through with it.” She looked up at the shocked looks on her friend’s faces and slowly realized what she’d said. “Although I’m sure she wouldn’t do anything like that!” she added hastily in an attempt to reassure them.
“Yes, I’m sure that Tyra will be very reasonable. She’s just looking out for her daughter,” Rarity said without conviction.
“She also happens to have very good ears.”
Everyone at the table jumped slightly and turned to see Tyra standing a couple yards back with a wry smile on her face.
“You were telling them it was an empty threat weren’t you?” she asked Gilda.
“Yeah, I don’t really want you scaring off my friends,” Gilda replied flatly.
“They can stand you, I shouldn’t be too bad,” Tyra replied, placing a forelimb over her daughter’s neck and giving it a quick squeeze.
“Mom! Stop it!” Gilda groaned as her mother laughed.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“So how did it go?”
Tyra jumped at the sudden question and turned to see a grinning Damien behind her. Cursing herself mentally for getting relaxed enough to let someone as potentially dangerous as him sneak up behind her she gave him a fierce scowl. “It went quite well. Nothing like the disaster I was afraid it would be after you seemed so eager to have this meeting happen.”
“Yes I suppose if you were expecting something like that you were bound to be pleasantly disappointed. You’re welcome for helping you lower your expectations by the way.” He looked at the retreating backs of the five ponies and single griffin. “So what did you think about them? Not often I get the opinion of someone that hasn’t already formulated some mental image of the Elements of Harmony.”
Tyra started at this revelation. “Those were the Element Bearers?” she asked as she shot a quick look back at them just before they rounded a corner. “I’d heard that Celestia had found a group to wield them but I figured they’d be holed up in a training facility somewhere, not frolicking in an out of the way town like this.”
“Huh, I was wondering how widespread knowledge of the Elements was,” Damien muttered before continuing on more strongly. “Fluttershy is kindness, Rarity generosity, Pinkie Pie laughter, Rainbow Dash loyalty, Applejack from yesterday is honesty, and Twilight is magic.”
Tyra nodded absentmindedly as Damien named each Element. “Heh, I always told my daughter that making friends and gaining the reciprocal loyalty of those in power was useful but I never expected her to befriend the wielders of the oldest known magic is existence.” She smiled fondly. “Though I doubt she had any idea of it at the time.”
“Probably still doesn’t,” Damien said with a slow shake of his head. “Those girls are remarkably humble for heroes of their stature. If half the ones back home had been this accepting and humble I might have never had to leave.”
Tyra nodded. “It’s better if she doesn’t know. Loyalties gained with knowledge of their benefits are easily tainted. True and pure companionship and trust come from desiring to stand with others even if it gains you nothing and costs you everything,” she stated simply.
“So you approve of your dear daughter’s choice in friends?”
“I don’t really have any say in the matter but for the most part yes. It’s a diverse group that will certainly be a good influence on her. For the most part anyway. She’s hot-headed and brash enough without Dash egging her on and that pegasus already hurt her once,” Tyra said, a trace of darkness underlying her tone.
“Pinkie helped a good deal with causing the problems with Gilda and Rainbow. Not to mention that from what I’ve heard Gilda was a bit of a bitch during her first visit here.”
Tyra sighed and her shoulders slumped. “I know. Pinkie I can forgive because she was acting out of a desire to protect her friend. If you can’t recognize honor in those you fight you are undeserving of any personal honor after all. But Dash and Gilda had a bond once and it was broken, that is not something any griffin can take lightly.”
“No griffin raised around griffins perhaps. But Gilda has not been able to make those same bonds that you and other griffins take for granted. In many ways she is likely still somewhat childish by griffin standards.”
“I know that!” Tyra snapped. “Though I am surprised that you’re defending Gilda.”
“Merely playing the part of the demon’s advocate,” he replied with a bow.
Tyra sighed and chuckled, best not try and make it sound like he actually cared about her daughter it seemed. She looked back up and met Damien’s gaze with both curiosity and mischief. “Questions about your motives aside there are some more things I want to ask you.”
Damien’s eyes lit up with glee. “About what?”
“The leader of the Elements, Ms. Sparkle,” Tyra replied with a smile.
“Ah, I was wondering if that would come up,” Damien chuckled. “I suppose I must, mustn’t I?” He grinned manically. “I’ll even promise to answer all your questions honestly.”
Tyra snorted derisively. “If anything that makes your answers more suspect, not less.”
“I know.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“-and that’s why I was banned from the Elven capitol for all eternity,” Damien regaled to a laughing Tyra with a grin. “But it seems we’ve gotten bit off topic here haven’t we?” he asked as he looked at the setting sun.
“I suppose I should know better by now than to let start talking shouldn’t I?” Tyra asked, an intermittent chuckle still punctuating her words. “I had been planning to spend some mother daughter time with Gilda today.”
“Bah, there’s still some time before Gilda hits the sack. I find that when spending time with children it is the quality and not the quantity that matters,” Damien quipped.
“You have children?” Tyra asked incredulously.
“Yep, an acquaintance of my friend wanted children without having to deal with the problems commonly associated with males of her species. My friend also wanted to test the viability of a cross-species reproduction spell she had created some time ago.”
“And… what exactly was the species in question?” Tyra asked, trepidation plain in her voice.
“Dragon,” Damien replied as turned and started heading home.
Tyra stared blankly after Damien and shuddered slightly at the image that came to mind. “Knew I shouldn’t have asked,” she muttered to herself as she began to follow him back to the house.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Ahhh, home sweet home!” Damien sighed as he closed the door behind Tyra. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. “Your daughter is in the kitchen right now, best go say goodnight on your own. Not my place to intrude after all,” he chuckled as he headed towards the stairs.
Tyra shook her head tiredly. It figures that Damien would rather rely on his magic to learn whether Gilda was here or not. Pushing aside the slight sense of marvel that she still associated with a non-mane casting a spell she padded silently into the kitchen, slowly sneaking up behind Gilda as she finished up a snack. “You’ve made good friends Gilda, I’m proud of you.”
Gilda jumped slightly at her mother’s voice. “T-thanks,” she stuttered awkwardly. “Met most of them because of Twilight and Dash though,” she added dejectedly. “Not like I actually did much to become friends with them.”
Tyra chuckled at her daughter’s words. “That’s part of what friends do, introduce you to more friends.” She grinned and looked Gilda in the eye. “Friends make up for what you lack, and they do it because they want you to be happy, not for repayment or for glory. I’m glad you’re finally starting to make friends.”
“I had friends before,” Gilda muttered.
“You had Dash. One friend. And now you have several, you even have a landlord that looks after you.” Tyra laughed at Gilda’s disbelieving look. “Just because he doesn’t make things easy for you doesn’t mean he doesn’t look out for you.”
Gilda snorted but kept her beak shut. Not wanting to argue the point she moved over to the sink and placed her dirty dishes inside, not even blinking as a soft glow enveloped them and cleaned them more thoroughly that she would have ever managed on her own. A few seconds later she lifted them from the sink and replaced them in the cupboards, steadfastly not looking at her mother as she made use of all the enchantments Damien had showed her how to activate to clean the kitchen.
“Yes, he’s done absolutely nothing for you at all,” Tyra said with a smile.
“Yeah, well… He made all these things to make things easier for himself not for me,” Gilda retorted half-heartedly. Her meal done and clean-up completed she turned to leave the kitchen, only to be ambushed by her mother half-way there.
“I really am proud of you Gilda,” she said as she gave her daughter a hug.
Gilda winced slightly at the sudden hug but accepted it. A small smile touched her beak as she reached up and laid a talon on her mother’s arm. “Thanks mom.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“We are surprised that you are still asleep,” Luna said as she landed next to Damien.
He grinned in response. “Yes well since Tyra is leaving today she has to make sure she is plenty rested for the long flight ahead. It certainly helps that Derpy insisted that Gilda take the day off so that she could say goodbye to her mother.”
“Since we can now actually talk, how has the week progressed since we last spoke? We imagine that Tyra caused quite a commotion among some of the citizens,” Luna asked eagerly, curious to hear what sort of chaos had erupted in Ponyville this week.
“Surprisingly little actually. With Gilda and me living in town they seem to have gotten used to griffins, Tyra turned very few heads with her appearance. In fact what incidents did occur had very little to do with her. There was the trouble with the water tower earlier this week that nearly flattened half the marketplace, some timber wolves were prowling near the edge of the Everfree for a few days, the crusaders somehow managed to get hold of one of Twilight’s advanced chemistry books and made something called thermite, and I’m pretty sure that we had somepony go through that cutie mark failure thing for a few hours yesterday. Special talent was trimming hedges, amazing what a pony can do with a pair of gardening shears if motivated,” Damien said as he ticked the items off on his claws.
“It sounds like a slow week for Ponyville from what We’ve heard,” Luna commented with a smile.
“Indeed,” Damien chuckled. “I didn’t even take part in any of those incidents.” He smiled wistfully. “Although I did make sure to get that thermite recipe. No idea what I’ll use it for but that stuff was beautiful.”
“So We take it that Tyra’s visit wasn’t as exciting as you hoped?” Luna asked with a wry smile.
“It was surprisingly dull. A couple interesting parts but for the most part not much different from a normal week.” He sighed “But enough about me, how did your week go?”
“Twas less than interesting. Celestia has continued her attempts to persuade us to partake in Nightmare Night. We have already decided to visit Ponyville to give this holiday a chance but it intrigues us to see how far she is willing to go in order to assure our participation,” Luna replied with a light laugh. “Beyond that there has been little enough to take up our time beyond our usual duties.” She sighed. “It was a sobering realization that our week is much less entertaining when We are unable to speak with you during our free time.”
“You could always just try and meet with someone else and try to make another friend. I’m almost certain that they won’t have fighting a chaos god as a requirement for their friendship.”
Luna’s head drooped. “We still are having great difficulty with starting conversations with others. Far too many of the ponies that We meet with any regularity know of and fear our past as Nightmare Moon. It has not been the most easily overcome handicap.”
“Why do they still hold that against you? Most of them weren’t even affected by your return beyond getting a few extra hours of sleep. Pit, I’d thank you for that!”
“We think it is more about that We intended for the night to be eternal,” Luna admitted.
“Bah, the night is far more entertaining anyway.”
“We thank you; it is not often that We hear anyone hold our night in such high regard. It is nice to hear that every so often.”
Damien chuckled. “Then you should try talking to more of the night crowd. Check out some night clubs and bars. You’ll find that a lot of ponies prefer the night to the day if you ask the in the right places.” He paused for a moment. “Just make sure to stay away from the depressed looking ones in black and white makeup. They’re a little… off,” he added conspiratorially.
“We find it doubtful that We will be capable of finding ponies stranger than you.”
“There are different kinds of strange,” he replied with a grin. “I doubt you are ready to handle all the strangeness that has cropped up in your absence.”
“We keep better tabs on the ponies of today than you give us credit for. We are in charge the black ops division of Equestria. It is part of our job to know what is going on in all parts of Equestria. Including Ponyville as it happens.”
“And this is where I ask you what you found out right?” Damien asked tiredly. At Luna’s almost insistent silence he caved out of curiosity. “What is going on tomorrow?”
Luna smiled for a moment to savor her small victory before proceeding; it wasn’t often that she was actually in possession of something Damien wanted after all.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Thanks for visiting mom. It’s been… fun,” Gilda said awkwardly.
“Thank you for having me,” she replied wholeheartedly before turning to Damien. “And thank you as well. I’ll be counting on you to keep Gilda out of trouble.” She paused thoughtfully. “Out of too much trouble.” She paused again and turned to Gilda. “Okay, it’ll be up to you to keep him out of trouble.”
“I feel like I should take offense to that,” Damien muttered good-naturedly. “It was good to meet the woman that brought this little monstrosity into the world,” he said with a smile as he threw an arm over Gilda’s shoulder.
“Get off freak,” she growled as she ducked out from under his arm.
Damien chuckled lightly as his gaze twitched momentarily towards the front door of the house. “I’m going to head out, planning on seeing what new books have shown up at the library after that last shipment. Breakfast is on table if you two are hungry,” he said with a wave as he padded over to the door. “I have some things to take care of.”
Before he could make it more than a few steps Tyra reached out and stopped him, her eyes had suddenly grown hard. “It would be remiss of me not to help you with this. It is my fault after all.”
Gilda’s confused expression melted away to one of comprehension. “Not again,” she groaned as she buried her face in a talon. “I thought you and dad had finished this all years ago.”
“Apparently not,” Tyra replied cheerfully. “A few of them were just trying to find the right time to attack.”
“Indeed,” Damien interjected. “And I will be doing this alone, a good host doesn’t let his guests deal with such things after all.” A darkness flashed in his eyes momentarily. “Besides, it not like I really have many chances to fight without having to worry about consequences after all. I suggest you just let me have this one.”
There was something in his tone that made Tyra pause. It was a momentary thing but it was enough for Damien to reach the door and close it securely behind him. Tyra glared at the door and tried to wrench it open to no avail.
“Come on,” Gilda said with a sigh. “You can’t overpower his magic in here. Not if he doesn’t want you to anyway. Besides, the freak made breakfast; in case you haven’t figured it out by now you do not want to miss out when he cooks.”
Tyra gave the door a withering glare but sighed despondently. “I suppose so,” she muttered.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien chuckled as he felt Tyra’s attempts to break the spells holding the door shut. His chuckle stopped as a pair of large muscular griffons stepped up to the path leading to the front door.
“Well look at this Jaeger, a griffin living with ponies,” the first indicted to his companion with a grin.
“So it is Theron. I’d heard some griffons had gone soft and were living with prey but I never thought I’d see it for myself.” The second griffon smirked and shot Damien a depreciating look. “Although I suppose we should ask him whether he’s seen Tyra or not.”
“I suppose we should at that.” Theron looked down his beak at Damien. “Well weakling? Have you seen the griffoness known as Tyra around town?”
Damien stared at the two of them for several seconds before bursting into raucous gales of laughter. The two other griffons stared at him at first in shock and then in rage. Before they could speak up again Damien held up a claw. “I’m sorry my good sirs. I came out here expecting assassins, not a traveling comedy troupe,” he choked out between laughs.
Theron and Jaeger’s faces both twisted into grimaces of rage and hate as they reached behind their backs and each of them unslung a long heavily decorated spear and rose into the air with murder in their eyes. One right behind the other they shot forward, spears aimed at his head and heart.
Damien’s laughter didn’t even falter as slid past the first spear and reduced it to nothing more than splinters with a single strike. His head twitched to the side allowing the second spear to pass within a fraction of an inch of his head and his free talon slammed into the ground. Before either of his opponents could wonder about what he was doing a column of dirt burst from the ground and slammed into both griffons, sending them flying.
“Theron, was that-” Jaeger started to say before he was cut off as Damien launched himself towards the stunned griffons, grabbing each one by their throat, lifting them into the air, and slamming them into the ground.
“Now I believe you two said something about griffons that live amongst ponies,” Damien said conversationally as he squeezed their throats. “Something about being weak.” The griffons beneath him rallied valiantly, attempting to claw at his underbelly and arms but the grass beneath them rose up and twisted around their limbs, binding them to the ground beneath them. “Yet here you lie, on my land among the ponies completely helpless and at a weakling’s mercy,” he sneered as he watched the griffon’s eyes flutter and their faces slowly darken. “Remember this next time you intrude on someone else’s affairs,” he whispered as he let go of their throats and the life-giving air rushed into their lungs.
The pair stared at him in a mix of reverence and horror. “M-my lord. We didn’t know that a Mane was-” Jaeger started before being interrupted by Damien.
“I am no Mane child,” Damien growled. “And if you try to foist a title on me I will hunt you down and make you wish you had never seen me in your life.” His demeanor suddenly changed back to his usual happily irreverent self, a smile cracking his beak. “Now if you’ll just leave Tyra alone when she heads home we can go our separate ways with all our limbs intact.”
“But Lord Morus demands the head of-” Theron began before his words were transfigured into a shriek of pain when Damien shot towards him and cleanly snapped the shin of his right forelimb in two.
“I’m sorry about that. It seems that you two are down to a total of eleven intact limbs. Wouldn’t want to decrease that number any further would we? Why if you keep talking back I might start in on the wings. And that would be… unpleasant wouldn’t it?” he asked without the smile of before faltering in the slightest.
Jaeger’s face paled significantly as his gaze twitched between the bone he could see clearly sticking out of his comrade’s forelimb and the serene smile that still lay on Damien’s beak. “O-of course. I’m sure that Lord Morus would understand if we were incapable of finding Tyra. She is notoriously difficult to find when she desire to remain hidden,” he stated shakily.
“See!” Damien crowed as he slapped the wounded griffon on the back heartily, sending him sprawling to the ground with a howl of pain. “You’re friend knows how these things work, what about you?”
“Y-yes. We we’re unable to find Tyra but there was an incident with an animal in the Everfree forest that resulted in my injury,” Theron replied hastily.
“Ah, and improvisation about the nature of your injury, excellent,” Damien said with an appreciative laugh. “Now go,” he said while the air around him seemed to drop several degrees despite his happy demeanor.
Both griffons shot from the area as though they couldn’t get away fast enough, leaving behind a chuckling Damien. “Ah, been far too long since I got to have some fun like that,” he said with a contented sigh.
<=[XXXXX]=>
The actual farewells were short, as befitted Gilda’s lack of sentimentality. Tyra seemed to be willing, albeit a touch disappointed, to go along with her daughter’s wishes and allowed their parting to be simple and nearly wordless. Damien, using what little empathy he had, chose to stay away from the entire production and let the two of them share this one little moment, opting instead to watch from the balcony in front of the pegasus door on the second floor. A grin slithered across his beak as he watched Tyra take to the sky and leave Ponyville behind.
Thinking herself alone Gilda allowed a small smile to spread across her beak at her departing mother before turning around and heading inside. Damien chuckled quietly as he spread his wings and glided down to the streets below. He considered needling Gilda about what he had seen but decided against it. Sometimes it was best to let things be. Whistling a happy tune he padded down the street, he had a library to raid after all.
Nightmare Night, a time for candy, costumes, parties, and not in the least, fright. Many haunted houses had been set up throughout Ponyville, each one with lines of ponies aching to test their mettle against whatever shocks and chills the owners had thought up. All except one. The simple two story house didn’t have any decorations. No tombstones festooned the lawn, no cobwebs hung from the trees. There were no skeletons or zombies positioned along the simple stone path that lead to the door nor even a simple jack-o-lantern to signify that anyone was celebrating the holiday. In fact the only reason anyone knew that it even was a haunted house was because of a sign that floated in the air in front of the house and a rigorous advertisement campaign the owner had embarked on in the week leading up to tonight.
Several ponies had scoffed at the house, passing it in search of more entertaining haunts. Then the first victim had entered. Jet Stream was a cocky red pegasus, self-assured and ready to face the world. He had walked up the simple stone path and pulled on the door only to find that it refused to yield. His exasperation at having been stalled in showing off in front of Whistler was somewhat mollified when black letters began to form on the door. “Place your hoof upon this door and claim full responsibility for what is to occur,” he read aloud, a self-assured smiled spreading across his muzzle. With a roll of his eyes he placed a hoof on the door. “Whatever happens to me is my fault so let me in already,” he said in a carrying voice, making sure that anypony nearby could hear him. His arrogant grin only grew as the door under his hoof sung noiselessly open. “Could have at least tried to make the door sound creaky,” he muttered under his breath. Throwing a winning smile over his shoulder he swaggered into the house. The moment he had fully crossed the threshold the door slammed shut behind him with an ominous finality and the small crowd outside was left to wait.
They didn’t have to wait long for a reaction. Not five minutes after the pegasus had entered the building an ear-splitting shriek could be heard emanating from the house. As one the crowd jumped in surprise at the sudden sound. As soon as the shock at hearing the first scream faded many ponies started looking at every window they could find in hopes of gleaning some knowledge of what had managed to scare the brash stallion. The tension built as they terrified yells continued to come from the house and finally snapped as the door was flung open and Jet Stream came rushing out, his coat several shades paler than it had been ten minutes ago. His eyes shot back and forth as he gasped for air, taking in the crowd of anxious onlookers and the clear night sky. His head snapped back towards the door he had come running out of in time to see six yellow eyes arranged in a circle with a seventh at the center twinkle mischievously before the door closed with the same silence it had opened.
The crowd around him slowly edged forward as they realized he was whispering something as he tried to catch his breath. They waited with piano string tension as he attempted to bring his voice up to an audible level.
“That… That…” he panted out his sides heaving with fear and exertion. “That… WAS AWESOME!” he cried as he leapt into the air and grinned like a maniac.
The crowd rocked backwards at his sudden exuberance and in speechless wonder switched their gaze from the stallion in their midst to the simple house before them. As one they surged forward, all eager to be the second victim of this haunted house.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Luna felt certain she could call the night a success. Perhaps not a complete success as of yet but it had been very… what was the word again? Fun, it had been very fun. That small colt, Pipsqueak was it? Had been a boon. As had Twilight Sparkle and many of the other Element Bearers. It was a pity that Rarity had been unable to grace them with her presence but being able to meet with five of the six and part with them amicably at the very least was good enough. Rainbow Dash and Gilda had seemed somewhat annoyed that she had brought their pranking spree to an end with a couple well timed lightning bolts but even the irascible griffon seemed to agree that they had it coming. Between her, the elements, and Pipsqueak this Nightmare Night seemed to be winding its way to success but some things still felt amiss.
Truth be told she already knew what was off but it was also something that she was hesitant about confronting. Especially after being told that her use of the Canterlot Royal Voice and usage of the Royal We had long since been discontinued even in the most formal of situations. Nothing saps your desire to meet with someone more than being told that your entire method of interacting with others is now considered slightly rude. Of course shouting at people had always been considered rude but as princesses she and her sister had been held to somewhat different standards.
Of course the fact that no one had bothered to tell her either of those two vital pieces of information was rather infuriating. She could hardly blame her courtiers, servants, and the various nobles she dealt with regularly. They were often too terrified to even manage to relate to her what little they were required to in the course of their jobs, let alone tell her anything that they thought might anger or displease her. She snorted derisively. No wonder she was having such a hard time starting conversations with the ponies at the castle. Her real annoyance was with her sister though. Why hadn’t Celly told her about all the changes that had occurred over the past millennia? Sure she had been less than receptive to the advances of anypony for the first several months of her freedom. Then there had been the fact that she had spent most of the first year trying to catch up to all the changes that had occurred during her time on the moon. What little she had read and seen about how the nobility conducted themselves had implied that nothing had changed during her absence so she had woefully neglected studies in that area. She sighed resignedly as she realized that her deficit in knowing how to conduct herself had been as much her fault as it had been Celestia’s. She shook her head to clear her thoughts as Twilight returned from a nearby buffet table.
“Is something wrong?” the costumed unicorn asked as she saw Luna’s melancholy smile.
“We- I was merely thinking about everything that has happened tonight. It has been a very… interesting evening.”
“Oh! I’m so sorry about how everypony was so scared of you at first I -”
“It is fine. It all worked out in the end and We- I had fun this evening.” She looked out at the crowd, many of which were casting glances towards her of apprehension, curiosity and everything in between. “I am merely wondering where Damien has been this night. W- I had been expecting to see him.”
Twilight shivered and looked away. “He’s been running his haunted house all night. I asked him why he needed to be there all night and he said it was to make sure that nopony who visited ended up losing their soul.”
Luna was silent for a moment as she processed this information. Part of her wanted to ask whether or not Damien had been serious but considering the sorts of things she had seen in his memories it wasn’t too far from the realm of possibility. “So he remains in his house? He did extend an invitation to his haunted house some time ago,” she mused. A small smile spread its way across her muzzle as she turned to Twilight. “Shall we go and see what he has managed to set up?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow in surprise. “R-really?” she asked hesitantly.
“But of course. I am sure that it will be scary but you have defeated both myself as Nightmare Moon and Discord.”
“And you?” Twilight deadpanned.
“I AM LUNA! ONCE NIGHTMARE MOON! INSPIRATION FOR THIS VERY HOLIDAY! NOT EVEN DAMIEN IS CAPABLE OF FRIGHTENING ME!” Luna cried, utilizing the Canterlot Royal Voice for extra effect.
Twilight couldn’t help but laugh at Luna’s sudden theatrics. “Alright, we might as well try this out.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
As could be expected given the reactions to his haunted house the line in front of Damien’s home was both long and winding, with not a single pony willing to give up their spot to another. At least that’s what they had been telling themselves until Nightmare Moon herself showed up.
“GREETINGS CITIZENS! WE DESIRE ENTRANCE TO THIS ‘HAUNTED HOUSE’ SO THAT WE MAY JUDGE WHETHER OR NOT IT IS A FITTING HOMAGE TO OUR MIGHT!” Luna shouted, wrapped once more in the old visage of Nightmare Moon.
As one the entire line moved to the side respectfully to let the Alicorn and her companion pass. A low buzz of excited whispers moved up and down the line as they got closer and closer to the house. Although the specifics of each whisper varied the consensus was that if Nightmare Moon herself was going to patronize a haunted house it must be good.
“You have been spending far too much time with Damien,” Twilight hissed.
Luna smiled. “I did receive a personal invite to see his haunted house,” she reminded the unicorn.
Twilight merely rolled her eyes and looked at the door they had reached during their conversation. “Place your hoof upon this door and claim full responsibility for what is to occur,” she read aloud. “Yes this is definitely a good sign,” she muttered.
“You seem rather untrusting of Damien tonight,” Luna observed.
“Trust someone who enjoys messing with pony’s minds on a night dedicated to scaring ponies?” she deadpanned. “What a brilliant idea.”
“He will make sure no true harm comes to us,” Luna assured her with a laugh as she placed her hoof on the door. “Damien, let me in. I won’t hold you responsible for what goes on in your haunted house. Within reason anyway.”
The door pulsed once and a presence seemed to focus on Twilight. She rolled her eyes and offered her own assurances that she wouldn’t blame him for what she was about to go through. The door seemed to radiate an air of happiness as it swung open to reveal the darkness within. Luna crossed the threshold without even the slightest hint of hesitation and Twilight soon followed, though she couldn’t ignore the fact that the door felt like it was grinning at them as it swung shut.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Twilight lost track of Luna the moment she entered the house. Without hesitation her horn flared and purple light spread out around her to reveal… nothing. Her eyes twitched back and forth as she tried to see something, anything. She had only been inside Damien’s house during his and Gilda’s welcome parties and she had been slightly less interested in memorizing the layout of the house at those times but she knew there was no way she should be surrounded by nothing only a few feet into the house.
“Okay Twilight, this is an Illusion of some sort,” she said to herself, determined to root herself in reality. “Damien’s magic isn’t anywhere near as strong as mine.” Her horn pulsed hopefully but the black nothingness remained. “but he did mention something about being stronger when he was I his home so I can’t just brute force my way through the illusion.”
She closed her eyes and began to hum tunelessly as she tried to examine the magic around her. Several minutes passed before she suddenly grinned. Damien may always be bragging about how subtle his magic was but even he made mistakes with his spells. With gleeful ease she reached out with her magic and struck at the weak spot she had identified… Only to have nothing happen. She blinked as confusion and doubt crept into her expression. She was sure that she had read the spell properly. Maybe if she-
Her eyes widened in surprise as a slate grey unicorn with similarly colored eyes peering at her over thick spectacles appeared out of nowhere. “I’m afraid your time is up, you’ve failed,” he said in a creepily monotone voice. “You will be allowed to retake this test in three years provided you managed to meet all the prerequistes.”
“But I-” Twilight started to say before being interrupted.
“Interrupting the test proctor while he is giving your grade, that’s another ten points off your score.” He pulled out a small pocket abacus and the small beads clacked against each other in the shocked silence that followed his statement. “After your abysmal performance and your rebellious nature, not to mention the fact that you seem to have not studied for this test at all-”
“I-I studied! I’m sure of it! I always study!” Twilight interjected, not realizing that she was getting caught up in the illusion.
“And that’s another ten points from your score,” the proctor said as another bead clicked ominously on his abacus. “This brings you to 76 out of 200. We really expected better of the prized student of Princess Celestia,” he droned as he levitated a piece of paper with a large spiky red F emblazoned on it over to Twilight.
“But- But- I-” Twilight stuttered as she stared in horror at the page before her. She had never failed a test before! Ever!
“But we do have a position open for you that will fit with the talents we’ve seen you display up until now. All we need is the Princess’s approval and-” he paused as a scroll flashed into being beside him and he unrolled it to slowly scan its contents. “Congratulations. Princess Celestia has approved our recommendation for you to take some remedial classes.”
“Remedial classes?” Twilight asked, her voice a high pitched whine. But she didn’t belong in remedial classes! She belonged in the advanced classes! The ones where you really learned things!
“Don’t worry I’m sure your teacher will take things slowly if it’s too difficult for you,” he assured her as he led her towards a door that she hadn’t noticed before and opened it for her. “Welcome to magic kindergarten.”
Twilight screamed and ran faster than she ever had in her life.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Luna’s heart caught in her throat as she had stepped across the threshold. Her eyes twitched back and forth as she took in the massive, empty expanse before her. She knew this place. She probably knew it better than anything else; she had spent a thousand years here after all.
The moon was as barren as ever. The grey rocks and dust stretching off into the horizon. She steeled herself as she felt memories long held back by sheer willpower come rushing back, memories of her first angry days on the moon, memories of her later years when she had begged and pleaded with the empty air for her release, memories of her deepest depression and her deepest rage. She drew in a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. She wasn’t on the moon. She was in Damien’s house and this was just some sort of trick.
Without warning a golden flame burst into existence in front of her, quickly coalescing into a slightly rolled scroll. She quickly seized it with her magic and unrolled it, hoping it contained a hint on how to leave. As her eyes quickly scanned the scroll in front of her a look of fear, shock, and despair clawed its way across her features. The note dropped from her faltering spell and her eyes shrank in terror. Several words from the note echoed in her head. ‘Nightmare Moon’, ‘eternal night’, ‘banished forever’, and ‘rehabilitation failed’ tore through her mind as she began to shake and quiver. It couldn’t be possible. She couldn’t have snapped again. Celestia could stop her; she wasn’t back to full strength after all right? And the Elements! They had managed to free her from her madness on her return! Surely they could have done something! And why couldn’t she remember it happening? Maybe she really had snapped again. She moaned as she stared shakily at the note on the ground. She had finally managed to go out in public! She had met almost all of the Element Bearers! She was even going to finally manage to force Damien to meet with her face to face!
Her eyes widened in shock as Damien’s name ripped through the fog of despair that had enveloped her mind. She had entered Damien’s haunted house. A haunted house run by a griffon with prodigious magical might on his home ground and a knack for manipulating others. Her eyes narrowed in anger. She was going to kill him when she got out of here. “I know you’re out there Damien! Get over here and stop this illusion!” she shouted into the empty expanse.
“You have done well young one,” a deep voice echoed from all around.
Luna blinked in surprise. That wasn’t Damien’s voice. “Who are you?” she asked tentatively.
The voice chuckled and soon resolved itself to the form of a strange six armed creature; its grey carapace gleamed dully in the faint starlight, the grey expanse only broken by seven golden eyes set in the middle of its chest. “I am Eck!al, The Aspect of Terror. And you have passed the test.” It bowed deeply as it said this, its large mandibles clicking audibly. “Any who pass the test are awarded a boon.” It reached towards her with a seven clawed hand and placed something on the ground in front of her. “You may pass on to the one that has summoned me if you desire,” it said as both it and the moonscape faded from view.
“Interesting experience huh?” Damien asked from right behind her.
She jumped at his sudden question and quickly resolved her surprised expression into one of anger. “YOU!” she screeched. “You knew that would happen didn’t you?”
Damien chuckled. “Those ponies outside didn’t have any problems with it once they ran from the illusions. Though I suppose your deepest fears are a touch more… scaring than those of some colts and fillies looking for kicks,” he admitted. “Oh don’t look so mad. You came out of that alright, confronted your fears and won yourself a little trinket,” he said good naturedly. “Good chance for a little personal growth after all, everyone could stand a little of that now and then.”
“Then why don’t you let yourself be trapped in that creature’s illusion?” she asked acidly.
“Because you can only pass the test once,” he responded with a sigh as he pulled out a small grey stone that mirrored the one on the ground at Luna’s hoof.
She glanced at the stone is his talon and slowly levitated her own to eye level. “What is it?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted as he replaced it in his satchel. “No one but Eck!al does and it doesn’t give up secrets easily. I’ve held on to mine as a sort of trophy and a reminder of the past. You can do whatever you want with yours, no fur off my back.”
“You’re insufferable,” Luna muttered before smiling slightly. “I had hoped our first official meeting would be a little less terrifying.”
“You chose to enter my house and disavowed any and all attempts at revenge, lawsuits, pettiness, and general blame at the door. No going back on your word and complaining about what you chose to do,” he admonished her. “But enough about that. I’ve got some pie from Sweet Apple Acres and some of Berry Punch’s Framboise, damn good stuff there, sitting in the kitchen. We can have that and talk about how your night on the town went. I need to know whether or not I’ll be ditched for new friends or if I have to try again after all,” he chuckled as he ambled towards the kitchen.
Luna laughed and shook her head before following the griffon into the kitchen. If all Nightmare Nights were going to be like this one she would definitely have to come to Ponyville next year.
Damien blinked in surprise as the sound of a slamming door reverberated through the house, almost making him miss catching the pancake he had flipped into the air. Snapping his fingers and barking a quick word he moved away from the oven, taking the flame with him. “What’s got you so angry?” he asked when he saw a fuming Gilda hang her mailbags on a post on the wall.
“Dash,” she replied shortly.
“More than one word in a sentence if you please.”
Gilda shot him a venomous look that was somewhat spoiled by the sudden rumbling of her stomach.
“I’ll bribe you with paaaaancaaaaaakes~,” he sang teasingly. “In the kitchen though, this baby is almost done.”
Gilda glared after him but eventually snorted and followed him into the kitchen. “Dash has been getting a really big head lately,” she started off as soon as a plate of piping hot pancakes was placed in front of her.
“I see. Did you know that Twilight enjoys reading and Pinkie Pie loves parties? True story,” Damien responded conspiratorially.
“I mean bigger than usual,” Gilda growled.
Damien’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “I wasn’t sure that was even possible.”
“Yeah, well, it is. Dash grabbed some earth pony that fell of a ladder and he called her a hero. Then that one filly, the orange pegasus…” She looked at Damien expectantly.
“Scootaloo,” he supplied.
“Scootaloo started up some Rainbow Dash fan club. Got like ten members or something all talking about how great she is,” the griffoness grumped sourly.
“And you want a slice of the fame too?”
“What? No! Buck that, I just want to hang out with Dash without her little fan club following us around or having her tell the story about how she saved that earth pony again.” She lifted a pancake and stared at it despondently. “She’s even flying around town looking for trouble so she can be all heroic again.” She took a big bite out of the pancake and chewed slowly.
“Heroes,” Damien scoffed. “Bunch of self-righteous psychopaths.”
Gilda rolled her eyes at him but continued working on the pancakes in front of her. Studiously ignoring Damien as he took a spot at the table and started in on his own breakfast.
“So are you afraid of losing her again or not?” he suddenly asked her as he poured syrup over his stack of pancakes.
She jumped slightly at his question and shot him a sharp glare before nodding slowly.
“Then I think it’s Twilight that you want. She’s the go to mare for friendship stuff. Sometimes she even gives good advice!” he replied with a laugh. “You two might cause some problems but they always seem to work out for her. I don’t suppose I have to tell you that I am not the one you want helping you with this sort of thing,” he added with a dismissive wave.
“I already knew that,” Gilda grumbled. “You’re the one that wanted to hear about this. I just wanted the pancakes.”
“Yes, yes. I suppose I did bribe you into telling me all this,” Damien laughed.
“Yes. You did,” Gilda replied bluntly as she started taking care of her dishes.
“And I suppose you’re going to go to Twilight right now about how to get Dash to calm down a bit?”
She glared at him but nodded curtly.
“Excellent! I just so happen to have a number of books that need to be returned to the library!” he jubilated as he pulled half a dozen thick books from his satchel and presented them to the grimacing griffon.
“I’m not your errand runner,” she growled.
“Please?”
Gilda blinked in surprise.
“What? I can be polite and ask for things nicely!” Damien exclaimed indignantly.
“And I can be humble and nice,” Gilda deadpanned.
“And you can,” Damien replied with a grin. “It’s just not something that you do in very many situations.” He rolled his eyes with a sigh. “I guess I’ll just have to head over to the library sometime today so I can take care of my books myself. Probably’ll end up sticking around for a while too, pick up some more books, maybe read a few while I’m there, the usual,” he rambled with a level of absentmindedness that is only possible when you really want people to pay attention to what you’re saying.
As expected Gilda froze as Damien’s words struck home. “And you’ll end up being there at the same time as me won’t you?” she forced out.
“What a wonderful idea!” he exclaimed as though he had just thought of it. “When shall we leave?”
Gilda’s eye twitched dangerously as she picked up the books Damien had laid on the table and glared at him.
“You can use one of my extra bags over by the door to make things easier to carry if you want,” he called after her as she stormed from the kitchen. He smiled as he heard her close the door forcefully, not enough to call it a slam but still rather hard, and turned his attention back to his pancakes. Rainbow Dash a hero? And Scootaloo starting a fan club for her? That was bound to be interesting. Sure Dash and the other Element Bearers were already heroes of a sort it was more of an every so often thing for them from what he could tell. Full time heroism was sure to be interesting to watch. Just so long as no heroes started coming after him of course. That would not end well for anyone involved, he was certain of that much. He could always go and learn more about what was going on from Scootaloo or Dash, there was no way Dash didn’t know about her fan club after all. But asking Dash would more likely than not end up with her regaling her with tales of her awesomeness and he was certain that Scootaloo’s parents would be less than pleased if he came within a hundred yards of that filly. He still wasn’t sure why they were so upset though, he did have the cutie pox cure at hand and ready after all. He shook his head ruefully. No regard for the advancement of arcane knowledge there, or with the parents of the other crusaders. It was still… a month or so until the ultimatum they had delivered to him ran out if he remembered correctly.
With a shake of his head he stood up to take care of his dishes. Probably best not to get involved with anything related to heroes, far too close to his old profession and very likely to end badly. As long as he stayed away from the situation it should all work out in the end, just like all those other things that seemed to happen with Twilight and her friends. He paused momentarily as that last thought echoed throughout his mind. “Damn it,” he muttered. “I am getting really out of practice.”
With a tired sigh he headed into the living room to prepare for the worst, just barely catching himself before digging himself deeper with further thoughts about how simply thinking things like that didn’t mean that it would make things happen. Sometimes he really hated whatever petty and vindictive forces ran the universe.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Several days passed before Damien’s morose prediction came true, long enough for him to almost think he was in the clear.
“Please, please, please, let this just be Gilda throwing a tantrum,” he muttered as he heard one of his windows shatter, quickly followed the dull thud of a body impacting the floor in one of the side rooms.
His prayers went unanswered as a rainbow maned pegasus shot into the living room, nearly knocking over a delicate crystalline construct he had been slowly manipulating over the past hour.
“Damien! You gotta help me!”’ she declared.
Damien rose a tired eyebrow and looked back at the crystalline structure in front of him. A faint whisper of power ran down his talon as he slowly bent one of the delicate spires towards its intended destination. “Gilda is with Twilight. If you need magical help or someone to practice flying with I suggest you go to the library,” he replied as he carefully turned the crystal so he could get at the next section that needed work.
“What? No! I need your help!” Dash said quickly. “You were like some sort of big bad villain a long time ago right?”
Damien blinked and turned his attention towards the hovering pegasus. “I did follow that vocation for a while. Why?” he asked with narrowed eyes.
“So you know a lot about super heroes right?”
Damien felt a shudder run down his spine. “Super heroes? As in more dangerous and competent than regular ones?” he asked, his beak twisting in disgust.
“Yeah, heroes with super-powers or fancy gadgets and stuff. Like Bat Mare and Spider Pony,” Dash explained. “The ones you see in comics and stuff.”
Damien breathed a sigh of relief at this. So these super heroes were storybook characters. That meant that they either simply didn’t exist, here anyway, or that they were a long dead breed whose stories lived on to this day. “I suppose my experiences with regular heroes might apply,” he said cautiously.
“Cool! ‘Cause I need you to figure out who Mare-Do-Well is.”
Damien stared at the pegasus blankly. “As in ne’er do well?”
“I guess. That isn’t really the important part though,” Dash said dismissively.
“Why would anyone want to name themselves with a play on the phrase ne’er do well?” Damien wondered aloud in confusion.
“Not important. I need you to figure out who she is so I can stop her from upstaging me all the time. You know how to be a villain and villains always fight super-heroes and try to figure out their secret identities and stuff.” She looked at him appraisingly. “You were a good villain right?”
Damien scowled at this and puffed out his chest. “I was the best!” he proclaimed indignantly.
“Cool, now come on! We need to unmask Mare-Do-Well and show everypony who the better hero is,” she said as she pounded her hooves together.
“Wouldn’t teaming up with a villain automatically make-” Damien started before Dash shot out of the room shouting for him to follow her. With a sigh he spread his wings and took to the air, might as well see what all the fuss was about after all.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“So how exactly am I supposed to figure out this Mare Do Well’s identity?” Damien asked when he finally caught up with Dash. Of course the mare hadn’t slowed down and he’d had to rely on her signature rainbow trail to figure out where to go.
“That’s your job,” Dash replied dismissively as her eyes scanned the ground below us, presumably looking for either Mare-Do-Well or some chance for her to show of her heroic nature. Of course the fact that showing off like that is directly contradictory to a true hero’s nature didn’t seem to occur to her. But to be fair it didn’t seem to occur to too many other heroes either.
“Why isn’t anything happening right now?” she growled as she flared her wings and stood up on the cloud.
“Oh Pit, you’re not going to-” Damien started saying as Dash leapt from the cloud and shot off. “Right,” he grumbled as he spread his wings and prepared to take off after her. Things were quickly moving to a point where he was seriously considering simply abandoning the pegasus and working things out on his own. As he spread his wings a flash of movement high in the sky caught his eye. A quick glance at the dissipating rainbow trail showed him that Dash was flying towards a nearby construction site. He snorted and shook his head irritably; best to ignore whatever he had seen for now. He leapt off the cloud to follow after Rainbow, relying on her rainbow trail and his assumptions on her destination to find her once more.
A faint tingle of magic distracted him as he neared the construction site just as a wrenching crunch split the air. Damien’s eyes snapped towards the construction site he had idly surveyed before. His eyes widened slightly as the entire half finished building started to shake and crumble. The entire structure seemed to shatter and rain down on to the hapless workers below. As expected Rainbow Dash swooped down into the fray in an attempt to rescue one of the workers. She quickly scooped him up and began running along the ground, dodging the falling debris in her rush to remove him from the construction site. Damien’s eyes grew curious as another mare rushed into the fray, dodging every piece of debris as though she could see where it would land before it fell. Her face was obscured by an all concealing mask and a large, wide brimmed hat covered any hint of a horn or trace of her mane. Her coat and cutie mark, as well as any hints at wings, were covered by her voluminous cloak and tight-skinned body-suit. A ghost of a smile flitted across his face as he watched her deftly maneuver through the avalanche and save all but the single worker Dash was still trying to rescue.
Damien’s smile grew as he once more felt a tingle of energy in the air and quickly identified it as being a sort of a short range communication spell bound to an object for easy communication in battlefields or other areas where members of a group were usually unable to communicate verbally. He followed the tingle with his mind and chuckled as it wound from Mare-Do-Well up to a lone cloud high above the ground, a cloud with a lion’s tail hanging off the edge.
He was still chuckling when Dash flew up, her face inches from his own. “Why didn’t you do anything?!” she demanded as she jabbed him in the chest with a hoof.
“You and our masked friend seemed to have the situation under control,” Damien replied delicately as he shifted her hoof away from himself.
“Not with that! With unmasking Mare-Do-Well!”
Damien sighed and rubbed his head tiredly. “Because I am not going to stop someone from helping others. That would be a quick way to earn the enmity of the entire town, especially after she saved those workers. Even if you unmask your nemesis you need to do it in a way that…” Damien trailed off as he watched Dash shoot off in the direction Mare Do Well had disappeared in. “That girl is worse than Gilda,” he muttered.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Every day for the next week Dash came by to recruit Damien in her quest to unmask Mare-Do-Well and each day ended in failure. Not due to any level of incompetence on the parts of Dash or Damien but because catastrophes on the level needed to draw out the mysterious mare weren’t exactly common.
“Why are you wasting time reading books when we should be looking for Mare-Do-Well?” Dash grumbled for the fifth time in the past half hour.
“Because anything big enough to draw her out will be noticed easily enough as is,” he replied as he turned to the next page. “Did you know that Buffalo regularly commune with the spirits of the land itself?”
Dash glared at him but didn’t respond. Instead choosing to spread her wings and fly away and burn off some of her annoyed energy.
Nearly a quarter hour passed before Damien felt the tingle of magic he had been looking for. His head snapped towards the thread of power, carefully tracing both ends of the spell. One end flowed into the sky ending at a surprisingly stationary cloud. The other end coming to a stop… Damien smiled as he saw a familiar purple clad form running towards the dam. A bemused expression crossed his face as he saw Dash holding her hoof against the dam while water trickled around it.
There was a deep rumbling as the trickle became a torrent as the dam burst, loosing a geyser of water that swept the unfortunate pegasus away. Before Damien could act a familiar purple aura enveloped the rubble and froze it in place. He watched in astonishment as the shattered dam flew back together and quickly reformed, stronger than ever. His gaze quickly snapped to Mare Do Well just in time to see her swing her hat over a unicorn’s horn before disappearing in her usual fashion.
There was only one unicorn in town capable of casting a spell like the one he had just seen, yet there was no way she would have been able to dodge the falling debris a week ago. Gates, she would have just been able to stop all the falling debris with her magic, not dodge it.
Damien’s reverie was interrupted by Dash’s angry shouts as Mare-Do-Well, clearly possessing pegasus wings, shot through the sky and vanished amongst the buildings of the town. His eyes narrowed in sudden inspiration as all the pieces came together. “So that’s it…” he muttered admiringly.
“Damien!” Dash cried out. “You let her get away again!” she shouted angrily.
“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized with a smile. “She was too fast for me. You know I’m not exactly the best flier,” he explained with a shrug.
“Grrr… You’re no use!” she declared as she darted off.
Damien chuckled softly and headed home. The mystery was solved and he doubted that Dash would be relying on his help in the future given his abysmal performance just now. At least this way he wouldn't have to go out of his way to keep Mare-Do-Well's identity, or identities as it were, secret.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“You look happy,” Damien observed over a cup of tea several days later as Gilda entered the house with a small smile on her face.
“Yeah, Dash is finally starting to calm down a bit. It looks like all that stuff with Mare-Do-Well forced a little humility on her,” Gilda replied happily.
“I don’t suppose we’ll be seeing Mare-Do-Well again will we?” he asked nonchalantly as he took a sip of tea and looked over at her.
Gilda jumped at this but kept her face as neutral as possible. “Dunno. Maybe, maybe not.”
“I suppose it is for the best then,” he sighed.
She looked at hit curiously. “That’s it?” she asked.
“That’s it.”
“No badgering me about everything that went on over the last couple weeks?”
“That’s right.”
“Even though you wasted a week with Dash trying to figure it out?”
“Don’t worry. I won’t ask if you were the spotter for Mare Do Well, keeping an eye on the town and alerting her when she was needed. I won’t ask if Twilight played the part of Mare Do Well at times. I won’t ask which of your pegasus friends you got to play the flying parts of Mare Do Well’s routines. I won’t ask how many of your other friends took part in this wonderful little deception. Lastly I won’t ask if it was Rarity that designed those intriguing costumes. I will wish you a nice day though,” he said with a chuckle as he took another sip from his cup.
Gilda shot him an exasperated glare before turning away to head upstairs, a soft chuckle following her as she left.
The castle was empty, of course. He hadn’t really expected the looters to have left much of anything behind. But he wasn’t looking for anything physical. He was looking for things that others would have ignored. He had started his search at the bottom of the castle, in the deepest of dungeons. To his surprise they were almost completely free of residual magic. Such a feat meant either very little magic had been expended here or Damien had been exceptionally fastidious in the use of his power. His search continued up through ruined halls and empty treasuries. That made him grin, the few stories he had heard said that the first looters had entered the castle only to find that the fabled centuries of accumulated wealth were non-existent. Just more proof that the monster had managed to escape.
He almost thought his search was in vain until he came to the top of the tower. It was here that he finally felt the stirrings of long spent magic. A smile crept across his face as he knelt to inspect the deep grooves that scored the surface of the floor. Tiny flakes of long dried blood sprung into the air as he ran a finger through the grooves. “Blood magic,” he whispered to himself. It was typical of Damien really. His fist clenched in rage as he wondered how many people the monster had killed to get enough blood to completely fill this spell pattern. Luckily he was not quite so powerless as the blasphemer was. His eyes clouded over as he pulled the old spell’s remnants into focus. He could see the faded residue of a teleportation spell, a powerful one at that, and something else. What little he could pull from the dead spell made it look like it had to do with wards… Perhaps it was one of his famous defenses, something to keep himself safe when he teleported.
A smile flitted across his face as he called upon the powers that had been bestowed on him so long ago. Powers granted by a vengeful god to a vengeful man. The light in his eyes flashed as he slammed his hand into the ground over one of the grooves. The same piercing blue light in his eyes quickly enveloped his hand and expanded outwards to fill the grooves, quickly bathing the room with a n ethereal blue light. “It isn’t enough,” he muttered as the spell refused to form. “What’s missing?” He slammed his other hand onto the spell form and poured more power into it. He would track down Damien. He would manage to stop the monster. He would get revenge for his family and for the god that had given him the means to his desired end. He was too preoccupied with the spell to catch the small scrying mirror that fell from his coat pocket. To busy wrestling with power enough to destroy the castle and everything in it to stop it from rolling to the center of the spell form, somehow managing to skip over the grooves in the ground. Too distracted to see a faint image of a colorful town appear in its depths before it fell and shattered on the ground.
Just as he started to curse the loss of such a useful object he felt the power in the room sweep up around the broken object as a sound akin to tearing fabric filled the air. There was an explosion of light and sound that made him avert his eyes in pain and surprise. When he was able to turn back to the scene of the explosion he found himself staring at a tear in reality, a scar on existence forced open once more.
“So that’s it,” he murmured as he inspected the tear. There have always been stories of other worlds beyond ours. Places no one can reach by ship or by steed. But you… you found the way! You found it and used it to escape!” A mad grin split his features as he strode towards the tear. “I’m coming for you Damien.” Without another word he stepped into the tear and vanished.
Once more free of inhabitents silence reclaimed its vice grip on the castle tower, only to be shattered minutes later as an echoing voice split the air, “I’m surprised you helped him.”
“I do have to keep Damien on his toes. Can’t let him get too comfortable,” came another voice as a tall brown haired woman suddenly appeared in the room. A smile crossed her face as she ran a hand down the edge of the portal. “He never visits or writes, it’s enough to drive a girl to frustration,” she said with a laugh.
“The others were hoping that with his disappearance you might go back to your old self,” the voice replied tiredly.
“I doubt I’ll ever be quite the same as I was before. Mortals change us and shape us. Look at what has happened to our dear brother Hunt since he had that girl of his join his wild hunt! We will be feeling the effects of Damien’s meddling for millennia to come. Sending one of your little pets after him isn’t going to change that.”
“He is the one that desired to find Damien; I merely helped him with what he desired.”
“And do you really think he can kill Damien?”
“Perhaps, perhaps not.” The voice suddenly gained a slight touch of laughter. “At the very least it will let him know that we are still thinking of him, even now.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“And I say that there is no way those things cost more than sixty bits! Let alone eighty three!” Damien declared angrily as he jabbed a talon at the offending items.
“And I say that these are the finest writing utensils in Canterlot and these ones are particularly well made! I won’t go any lower than eighty for the set!” the salescolt replied vehemently.
“The set? I don’t want the ink! I can make that on my own! I just want those pens! Sixty two bits!”
“I only sell these as a set! What am I going to do with all these extra ink cartridges?”
“Ink cartridges?” Damien asked as he eyed the indicated items suspiciously.
“Hm? Yes, they store extra ink.” The cartridge and one of the pens floated into the air. “You just pull out the old one and insert the new one.” A similar cartridge floated out of the pen and the other one took its place.
“Interesting. How easily can you replace the ink inside the cartridges?”
The salescolt smiled. “I do have a special cartridge refilling tool. Get the entire set at seventy eight bits and you can have the refiller for free,” he said smugly.
“And how much would the refilling tool cost normally?” Damien asked, a sly gleam in his eyes.
“Twenty bits,” the stallion declared proudly. "It's a very nice deal actually."
“Then I’ll take the set sans the refiller for fifty eight bits.”
“W-what?”
“You said seventy eight bits with a twenty bit gift. So the set must not be worth more than fifty eight bits,” he explained. “If you want I’ll even go up to sixty bits.”
“Well I-” The stallion groaned in defeat. "Sixty five bits," he finally growled.
“Excellent! Here you go,” Damien replied as he placed his coins on the stand’s counter and picked up his purchase while the salescolt hung his head in defeat.
“Damien!”
Damien turned around in confusion. “That would be me,” he said jovially as he wracked his mind in an attempt to place the voice.
“So it really is you. Heh, a fitting form for one such as yourself,” a dark blue unicorn said acidly. His icy blue mane and tail were strangely short for a pony but the strangest aspect of him was his lack of a cutie mark. “I suppose you’re wondering who I-”
Before the stallion managed to make it half-way through the sentence Damien had spread his wings and shot into the air, tearing down the road away from the stallion.
To his credit it took the stallion only a fraction of a second to comprehend Damien’s flight and charge down the streets after him. A brilliant blue glow quickly enveloped his horn as he sent waves of blue fire streaking after his quarry.
Damien clacked his beak in annoyance as he reached into his pouch and produced a handful of dust, flinging it into the path of the fireballs. As each fireball hit the dust it was snuffed out, the strained look on Damien’s face relaxing infinitesimally with as each fireball winked out. Only for bolt of panic to shoot through him as the last fireball streamed past the dust and slammed into his back. He was sent sprawling along the ground, a burning ache spreading through his body. He pushed past the pain and managed to get back to his feet as the unicorn caught up with him.
“You can’t escape me Damien! You will be brought to justice!” the stallion cried.
“Empty threats of an empty ideal!” Damien spat as he held up a talon and began to chant. Before he could get more than a few syllables in the unicorn struck out with a blast of kinetic energy that threw the griffon well over a dozen yards along the ground. Rolling with the motion Damien managed to spring back into the air and shoot over a nearby house.
The unicorn cursed and a glow spread from his horn to his hooves. With a mighty roar he leapt over the intervening building, only to be struck in the face by a clenched talon as soon as he crested the house.
“Idiot,” Damien muttered as he sped off towards his destination.
Despite the punch to the face and bouncing along the ground for several yards the unicorn managed to get back up with remarkable speed. “Damien!” he screamed as his horn and hooves glowed with power once more. With an impressive burst of speed the stallion galloped down the street after Damien, screaming in rage.
He was so caught up in the chase and his goal that when he finally reached Damien he didn’t notice that the panic the griffon had shown earlier was gone. Didn’t see that his enemy was standing calmly and collected, if a little worse for wear, in front of a small house as though he had every advantage in the world. As such he was caught almost completely off guard when a fist of rock fell from the sky and nearly crushed him the moment he crossed the property line. “No…” he muttered in disbelief, his gaze snapping to the house in front of him and back down to the griffon standing so confidently in front of it.
“Yes,” Damien replied with a grin as he reared back on his hind legs, his foreclaws twisting into strange gestures.
The unicorn leapt backwards just in time to escape a spire of earth impaling him but was struck across the back by the thorn covered branch of a nearby bush. He didn’t even stop to take stock of his surroundings, instead opting to roll to the side as soon as he landed, narrowly avoiding an arc of fire that scorched his landing zone. In a wild bid at freedom and the relative safety of the nearby street his horn pulsed with energy and threw a thick barrier around his body as he charged away from the house. He was almost there when the grass beneath his hooves reached out and wrapped around his legs, sending him toppling to the ground mere inches from freedom. Despite his best efforts to move forward he felt himself being pulled inexorably backwards until he was lying at the feet of his hated enemy.
“Now then, what should I do with you my little hero?” Damien asked with a sadistic grin. “I suppose I should have tried living in a regular house before now. You were probably expecting some sort of doom and gloom keep or tower or something. Didn’t even cross your mind that my fortress would be a simple house like this huh?”
“You won’t get away with this Damien!” the stallion shouted defiantly, his eyes full of hatred. “I will make sure that the inhabitants of this world learn what you are! I will make sure that you are brought to justice for your crimes!”
“Oh but I won’t be!” Damien crowed ecstatically as he reached into his satchel and pulled out a thick book. Grinning in glee he began flipping through it muttering under his breath. “Here we are!” he exclaimed with glee as he placed a claw on the relevant passage. “In the instance of the changeling Black Husk and his crimes against the Changeling Collective, Princess Celestia saw fit to deny Queen Chrysalis’s request that she turn Husk over to her on the grounds that Equestria had nullified their extradition agreement with the Collective in 876 AB and without such a treaty they had no obligation to turn the criminal over to her care. Furthermore due to lack of criminal offences against the Equestrian people he was permitted to take up residence in Manhattan where he went on to become a successful actor until his death in 925 AB,” he finished with a smile.
The unicorn looked at him blankly. The minutes passed and the silence grew as Damien kept motioning for the stallion to respond. With a sigh he finally gave in and asked the question that was plaguing his mind. “And what does all that mean?”
“It means that unless I commit a crime here in Equestria, which I haven’t, then I am treated the same as any other citizen. Furthermore the princesses are not legally obligated to turn me over to any foreign entity that they do not have an extradition treaty with, i.e. every single nation from our home. Furthermore since I am a law abiding citizen here and you’re the crazy outsider in this circumstance I could likely press charges for assault, attempted murder, and trespassing!” he ended triumphantly as he slammed the book closed with a grin.
The stallion could only stare in disbelief at the ex-overlord’s words. “You claim innocence? You?!”
“Innocence? Gates no! You probably have every reason in the world to kill me in the most horrible way you can think of. I may not agree with your reasons but you would have them. What I am is within the bounds of the law. Therefore even though I am not innocent I am on the good guy’s side where as you, an outsider that attacked a member of the town, are on the bad guy’s side. All rather simple really,” he declared with a grin. His grin froze for a moment as a new thought occurred to him. “I have no idea who you are. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to do one of those grandiose introductions you heroes love so much would you? I’ll even let you free so you can do all the dramatic poses you want~,” he half-sang.
The stallion glared at him but nodded brusquely. “Very well, I accept.” As soon as the grass binding his legs loosened enough he leapt beyond Damien’s property line and his horn glowed with a blinding light as he reared onto his hind legs. “I am Gallus Blueflame! Last living descendant of the rightful kings of Holdshire and disciple of Arkus, god of magic! I am here to destroy you for your transgressions against my family and my god! What have you to say in your defense?” At his last words he slammed his hooves into the ground, sending a deafening shockwave throughout the town.
Damien’s beak moved silently up and down as he tried to find the right thing to say to the unicorn’s outburst. “Holdshire? And Arkus?” he finally asked, disbelief plain in his face. “I relinquished my control of Holdshire over four hundred years ago! Martin and I even drove off Aldred when he started becoming a tyrant there, long story, if your family really wanted it so bad why didn’t you take it then?!”
Gallus looked startled at Damien’s words but rallied himself valiantly. “We were still weakened from what you had done when you took the castle in the first place. We were in no position to reclaim what was ours.”
“You had over a century to build up power! If your family wasn’t able to scrounge up enough strength over the course of a hundred years to take a leaderless castle from a bunch of uncaring peasants you don’t deserve it!” He shook his head in stunned silence before continuing his tirade. “And Arkus? He got his eye back when I retired the first time, if he wanted revenge he should have gone after me then! Why wait until now!?” Damien cried before segueing into a long muttered tirade about gods and their inconsistent attitudes.
Gallus was silent for a moment, unsure with how to defend the god that had given him the power to find his vengeance. Instead he opted to forget the whole thing and prepared another spell, his horn glowing and crackling with powerful arcane energy.
“Oh don’t bother with that, you can’t touch me so long as I’m on my property,” Damien said with a dismissive wave. “Besides, with all the ruckus you’ve caused I think somepony will be wanting to have a word with you very soon.”
“Silence!” Gallus shouted as a massive lion made of fire sprung from his horn and bounded towards Damien.
Damien merely gave the construct a flat look and tapped out a quick pattern onto a nearby cobblestone. There was a crack of rhunder and a small storm cloud suddenly appeared over the lion. The construct looked up but was unable to move out of the way before the downpour began, quickly covering the yard, and only the yard, with steam. “Wouldn’t want the neighbors to get scalded would we?” Damien called out from the obscuring cloud.
When the steam cleared the construct had been reduced in size to something more resembling a particularly angry kitten than a lion. Gallus looked on, slightly embarrassed and not sure what to do with it as it began to stumble back towards him mewling pitifully. In the end he settled for reaching out and petting it with a tentative hoof, murmuring soft assurances to it before he dismissed it. “I hope you’re happy! Sapphire is going to be mad at me for months because of this!” he shouted at Damien.
Damien frowned slightly in surprise. “You named it Sapphire? Unoriginal but very touching,” he drawled. “I approve!”
Before Gallus’s next retort could get beyond the twitching eye stage there was a sharp crack and a burst of light. “What’s going on here!” demanded the newly arrived Twilight Sparkle as she took in the scene before her. When her eyes finally settled on a smiling and waving Damien she groaned.
“Twilight! Good to see you, I had a bet going with myself on whether you or one of Luna’s girls would show up for damage control first!” Damien cheerfully greeted her. “This is my new friend/hopeful murderer Gallus Blueflame.”
Twilight sighed as she continued to look back and forth between the griffon and the unicorn. Eventually she let her gaze settle on Damien. “I was just in the marketplace. Daisy, Rose, and Lilly have all fainted, Lemon Zest’s cart had two of its wheels shattered, half the shopkeepers are hiding in the alleyways and whatever houses they could get into, there are dozens of small hoof shaped craters in the streets, several patches of blue fire still smoldering on the ground and not going out…” her voice trailed off and she glared at him. “What the hay is going on!?”
To her surprise it wasn’t Damien that responded but the other unicorn. “I am sorry my lady. When I found Damien alone and unprotected in the marketplace I let my emotions get the better of me,” he apologized with a slight bow. “As the usurper said I am Gallus Blueflame, disciple of Arkus and last living descendants of the noble kings of Holdshire.”
Twilight was taken aback by the stallions sudden politeness as well as his claims of status. “A pleasure to meet you,” she replied as she rallied herself and noticed he was waiting for her name. “I am Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of the Element of Magic and personal student of Princess Celestia.”
Gallus’s eyes widened in slight surprise when she was able to list off titles that he assumed were at least comparable to his own. “It is a pleasure to meet such an august personage. If your skill with the arcane is as considerable as it appears to be I feel I must ask for your assistance in dealing with the abomination,” he said as he pointed a hoof at Damien, who waved back with a smile. “I am not foolish or strong enough to test his power on his chosen ground but with your assistance-”
Twilight sighed and held up a hoof, motioning for him to stop. “Damien may not be a model citizen but he is a citizen of Ponyville and of Equestria. I can’t let you… ‘deal’ with him.”
Gallus’s eyes hardened at her words. “Surely you know who, and what, he is?”
“Yes I do. I also know that both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have decided to let him stay here,” Twilight told him. “Whatever he may have done in the past is in the past. It is something that he has left behind when he came here.”
“But- He- Usurper! Monster!” Gallus sputtered.
“According to Princess Luna the only actions he has taken in the last two hundred years have been ones of self-defense.”
“He is a snake and a liar!”
“As true as that is I doubt that he could hide anything from Luna while she was in his mind.”
“Actually,” Damien interrupted. “I could. It would be pretty difficult but that’s neither here nor there.”
“You’re not helping,” Twilight hissed.
“Fully aware of that my dear but so long as I am on my property I have nothing to fear from Gallus and he strikes me as the type of hero that won’t harm those that aren’t part of the problem,” Damien replied as he inspected his talons thoughtfully.
“You have to leave sometime,” Gallus growled.
“I’ve actually been stockpiling supplies ever since I bought this house. I could easily live out the rest of the year without leaving the house,” Damien supplied helpfully.
“I will-!”
“You will do nothing,” Damien asserted. “In fact I can pretty much guarantee that you can do nothing. Whether simply because I am living here as a peaceful citizen and am therefore protected by the law, or because one of the diarchs and I are in regular contact, or possibly because the other one recognizes me as a useful tool should the need arise.” His expression grew thoughtful as another thought struck him. “There’s also the fact that my house would be rendered… uninhabitable on my death and Gilda would kill you for making her lose such a cheap place to stay.”
“Uninhabitable… how exactly?” Twilight spoke up. “It’s not going to explode is it?”
“Not explode per se,” Damien replied with a wink.
“Is he always like this?” Gallus whispered to Twilight as he looked at he glanced apprehensively towards the smiling griffon.
“Shouldn’t you know?” she asked. “You came from the same place right? You should know this stuff!”
“All I’ve ever heard are stories! Why do you think I attacked him right off the bat? I wanted to kill him before he managed to do any of the things he’s famous for!” he hissed back. “Supposedly when he overthrew my ancestors he killed the entire army with a wave of his hand!”
“And you were planning on fighting him?”
“Yes! For the honor of my family and my god!”
“Oh, yes,” Damien drawled. “The honor of your family. Do you know why I chose to take your ancestor’s castle?” He didn’t even wait for Gallus to answer but forged ahead. “Your ancestor was a tyrant. He may not have used dark magics or contracted fey entities, he may not have slaughtered his peasants or led his men to meaningless war but he was a tyrant all the same. His people feared and hated him. Merchants travelled around his kingdom rather than through it. Even other rulers only called upon him when they had no one else to turn to. Taxes were high and those that crossed him were dealt with brutally, his dungeons…” Damien chuckled darkly. “Let’s just say that even I had never seen a number of those implements before.”
Gallus glared at him. “My family would never-”
“Of course not!” Damien interrupted with a laugh. “No one ever believes their oh so honorable family would be guilty of the sorts of things that are expected of creatures like me.” He shook his head ruefully.
“Then you claim that you were the hero and my family the villains?” Gallus sneered.
“Of course not!” Damien said disgustedly. “I merely hoped that killing him and taking his kingdom would pass with little comment beyond his old ‘friends’. But no one was willing to forget what I was and continuously tried to kill me and return the deposed royal family to their ancestral home. Turns out all you need to get everyone’s sympathy is get your ass kicked by someone everyone else hates more,” he added sourly. “I even only killed the king! Not a single other person was hurt there!”
Gallus gave him a calculating look while the griffon continued grumbling under his breath about ‘unfair treatment’ and ‘Pit damned heroes’. “Do you think he’s telling the truth?” he asked the unicorn beside him.
Before Twilight could respond a new voice split the air. “Damien!” screamed a familiar turquoise unicorn. “What did you do this time?” she demanded as she marched up towards the pleasantly surprised griffon.
“Is this about the incident over in the badlands last week or…?” He left the question hanging in the air with a mischievous smile.
“Your-” she cut off the sentence with a clack of her teeth as she glanced towards Gallus and Twilight before continuing on a much lower whisper. “That portal you used to get here opened up again,” she hissed. “What. Did. You. Do?”
“I merely created a spell that allowed me to come here, provided that I was scrying your world at the time. Since I am no longer there I can’t really do much about it now can I?” he said graciously. His smile grew wider as he watched Lyra’s glare deepen.
“Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t know your portal was used?”
“Since I didn’t place any wards or alarms around it I do expect that. After all, I didn’t think that anyone would be able to pick out which of the multitude of worlds I chose to retire to.” He felt a smirk twist his beak as he uttered the completely true yet undeniably false statement.
Lyra’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I may not know much about your past but I thought you’d be a little more on edge hearing that someone from your old home is here, most likely to try and kill you.”
Damien spread his forelimbs to encompass his yard. “As long as I’m here the only things that could really touch me would be your princesses and Discord. The only things comparable to them from my world would be the various gods and goddesses. None of which would be willing to leave their seat of power with no guarantee that they would be able to return. Of course there is no guarantee that anyone would be able to return to that world. Quite likely whoever came through the portal will be stuck here forever,” he intimated in a much louder voice than was appropriate for a private conversation.
Off to the side Gallus’s face drooped, not having contemplated that he might be unable to return to his home after completing his mission. Some small honest part of him also saw fit to remind him that he had not even been entirely confidant that he was going to succeed in the first place.
Seeing the crestfallen look on his face Twilight turned her attention away from Lyra and Damien. “You didn’t realize that you wouldn’t be able go home?”
Gallus nodded quietly. “I may not have thought this through completely,” he admitted. “I actually was granted the power of the Blue Flame only two years ago.” He laughed ruefully. “I grew up listening to my grandfather and father telling me old stories about what our family used to be, what we used to have. So I decided to do something about that. To at the very least get the revenge my forefathers have desired for centuries.” He cast a dour glance towards the griffon and unicorn, still arguing about what did or didn’t constitute something Damien should consider to be his problem. “I was given this magic by Arkus in exchange for two years of service. Two years spent honing my skills against his enemies. As soon as my service was over I left for Damien’s keep, where he had been last seen. I had hoped to find where he had vanished to, it wasn’t the first time he had managed to disappear from the world’s view.” He laughed weakly. “Guess I found him.”
Twilight felt for the stallion, she wasn’t unfamiliar with getting so lost in something that she didn’t think things through completely. The less his blood boiled the more introspective and depressed he seemed to become. It seemed that now that he had seen Damien he had lost most of his fire and was slowing to a stop. Before she could think of something to say in order to console the other unicorn her ears swiveled towards Damien in time to hear him mention Gallus.
A massive claw of stone suddenly shot up from beside Damien and lashed out towards Gallus, quickly grabbing him and bringing him before Lyra. “-and here is your outsider,” Damien finished saying as he shot the surprised Gallus an evil grin. “You didn’t really think that I’d do something so stupid as let anyone with sense enough to step off my property to recline in perfect safety did you? Just because my spells need to originate here for maximum effect does not mean that they have to stay here.”
Before Gallus could explode in rage Twilight teleported over to his side and started in on her own tirade. “Damien! You can’t just attack somepony like that!”
Damien actually took a step back as the unicorn’s rage washed over him. Between the lessened effects he had built in to the wards for the denizens of the town, Sparkle included, and her own innate power he doubted that he would be able to deal with her both successfully and non-lethally. “Given that he has professed his desire to kill me I am sure that I can dispense with some of the normal social niceties,” he said, attempting to pacify the fuming unicorn before him before deflecting the issue away from himself. “Besides, Lyra is looking for Gallus so she can try to acclimate him to Equestria. I’m just doing my part to help her out.”
“What?” Twilight asked, curiosity overtaking anger with ease. “What is he talking about?” she asked the other mare.
Lyra was taken aback by the sudden shift in the conversation’s balance. Although her position was by no means public, her public persona being one of a lyrist and music instructor, she was under no orders about how to deal with others learning about her side job. She shot an acrid glare at Damien as he edged away from the group slightly, attempting to remove himself from the brewing confrontation. “I’m part of a group in charge of acclimating outsiders to Equestria and helping them lead normal productive lives.” Seeing Twilight’s sidewise look at Damien she added on, “Damien did not undergo our program. Apparently he was watching Equestria and learning about us for at least a year before he came here, allowing him to circumvent normal procedures.”
Damien thought about protesting the implied insult about him not leading a normal and productive life but quickly thought better of it. Better to have Twilight and Lyra focused on each other after all. Although he doubted that anyone there was distracted from him enough to allow him to duck inside his house and leave them to each other.
Fortunately for him Twilight’s curiosity filled eyes were almost completely blind to him, fixated instead on Lyra and Gallus. “So are visitors from other worlds common?” she asked eagerly.
Lyra was silent for a moment as she tried to determine how best to answer the mare’s question. Twilight’s curiosity was legendary even among those ponies in town that knew very little about her. For one like herself, who knew of her in far greater detail due to their mutual connections with the princesses, Twilight’s curiosity was a fact of existence. “We get a couple every year,” she admitted. “There’s an interdiction shield that catches incoming outsiders, changes their form to fit more with our world, and places a translation spell on them so they can be understood by whoever they run into. That way anypony that runs into them just ends up thinking of them as crazy or sick.”
Twilight nodded slightly as she processed this new information. “How does it decide what to turn them into?”
“I’m not really sure,” Lyra admitted. “It depends on the outsider in question. Mostly they’ll be turned into ponies but I’ve also seen a few zebras, a couple donkeys, a cow, and even a few buffalo.” Before Twilight could ask the question that Lyra knew was coming she added on, “normally they don’t turn into griffons, diamond dogs, changelings, minotaurs, or the other less equine races. Another way Damien cheated,” she muttered.
“How many have you met?”
“Quite a few, I’ve been working with the group for… well ever since I came to Equestria.”
“Came to…” Twilight’s voice trailed off as her eyes widened. “Then are you…?”
Lyra smiled slightly. “That’s up for you to decide,” she replied quietly. “But that’s not the point here.” She turned to Gallus, still clutched in Damien’s stony talon. “I’ll need you to come with me to Canterlot,” she told the restrained unicorn.
“What? Why?” he asked.
“So you can start your acclimation lessons and start learning the Equestrian language and customs. I doubt you’ve been watching us long enough to be able to live here without causing a misunderstanding.”
“What if I don’t want to stay?” he asked with narrowed eyes.
“Then we’ll try to reopen the breach tha brought you here but in the meantime you will still need to learn how to live here.” Her expression brokered no argument from the bound unicorn. “Damien, let him go so we can get ready to leave.”
“But how long will that take?” Gallus asked desperately as he fell from the now loose stone claw.
“Depends on the breach. Yours was artificial so we might have to get a team of unicorns together to study it and figure out how to force it open again, it’ll still probably take years. If it was a natural breach it would probably take us decades to figure out how to open it.”
Gallus blanched at this but responded gamely. “Is there any way for me to get out of going to these acclimation classes?”
Lyra nodded slowly. “You would have to be able to learn from someone else. They would have to help you learn the language and the local customs, ideally they would be from a similar world to your… own…” her voice trailed off as she saw Damien perk up at her words.
Gallus followed her gaze and the color drained from his face. “No,” he whispered.
“Leave him with me!” Damien cried. “I already know the language perfectly and could teach him all he needs to know! Why between me and Gilda I’m sure we could get him acclimated to Ponyville in no time!” He leapt over to Gallus’s side and slung a forelimb over his shoulder. “Best way to bury the hatchet right there! Cooperation! Betterment of one’s self! A new victim to torment!”
“I would never stoop to placing myself under your-”
“I’m the best chance you have at reopening that breach aren’t I?”
Gallus froze.
“I created the spells that you copied in order to come here. I am one of, if not the, most knowledgeable practitioner of the arcane arts in this world. Without my help I can almost guarantee that you will not return home. It took me nearly a decade to create the spell that brought us here and I doubt that even with the backing of the princesses and their organization they will be able to return you home with any real speed. No offense,” he added as he turned to Lyra who merely rolled her eyes at him. “Of course, if you stay with me I’d require that you pay for room and board. One vial of blood a month for both. Or you can just pay me a hundred bits a month and chip in when I go grocery shopping.” Damien smiled magnanimously and removed his forelimb from Gallus’s shoulder. “So what do you think?” he asked spreading his arms wide.
Gallus glared at him for several minutes before the glare melted into a look of resignation. “And if I don’t decided to stay with you?”
“Well I have no reason to help someone that isn’t under my care now do I?”
Gallus looked between Lyra and Damien several times. “What am I getting myself into?” he asked himself wearily.
Gilda was silent as she surveyed the scene before her. She wasn’t close enough to call attention to herself from her perch on a nearby building, but was close enough to get a good idea of what was going on. She had gotten used to finding strange things waiting for her when she got off work. Carnivorous semi-sentient plants, two story tall behemoths with more eyes than a creature has any right to, and one time she could have sworn she saw Damien wearing a dress. She had gotten used to seeing Damien do weird stuff. Seeing him somehow manage to rope some ponies into it, especially one as level headed as Sparkle? That was new. There was something off about the blue unicorn too; something about him didn’t seem very pony. It took her nearly a minute to figure it out, because it was something she would have never expected from a pony: He stood like a predator.
Even the bravest ponies, sorry Dash, had a sort of tension to them. A desire to be with the herd and always ready in case something went wrong. Sparkle had said that was a call back to when ponies were just dumb prey animals and it had never really gone away. This guy stood there with, not quite the same, but a similar confidence to what she normally saw in griffins and diamond dogs. There was the relaxed power in his stance that said he was the predator, not the prey. Add in how the guy was constantly glaring at Damien…. She rolled her eyes and glared at Damien herself, not surprised in the least when he waved nonchalantly at her. Seeing no other options available to her, the unicorn was starting to look around to see what had prompted Damien’s wave, she spread her wings and leapt from her perch.
“Gilda! So glad you could join us!” Damien said with a smile.
“Yeah, yeah. What’d you do this time freak?” she asked as she landed next to Twilight.
“Got a new boarder! Fresh from my world and likely still willing to slip a knife between my ribs if he gets the chance.” Even while saying this, his smile didn’t shift an inch.
Deciding it was better to ignore Damien than give him the satisfaction of asking the question he knew was on her mind, she turned to the blue unicorn. “You’re from the same place as the freak?” she asked brusquely.
“Yes,” Gallus replied, somewhat taken aback by Gilda’s attitude. His surprise was quickly overcome as he remembered his manners. “I am Gallus Blueflame. I take it you are Damien’s other boarder.”
If Gilda had noticed the question in his tone she gave no indication of it. She instead chose to look him over again. “No cutie mark?”
Confusion crossed Gallus’s face as he turned to Lyra and Twilight for an explanation.
“Cutie marks are the pictures on our flanks,” Twilight said as she nodded to her own. “It symbolizes what our special talent is. Stallions generally call them emblems since cutie mark doesn’t sound very tough.”
“They also might act as amplifiers for said talents, allowing a pony with little to no knowledge of the talent their mark represents to be able to act as a master of that discipline,” Damien added. “However I haven’t been able to confirm this since every parent in the town has expressly forbidden their children from taking part in the experiments I have planned.” His eyes brightened suddenly. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to let me give you the cutie pox and record the results. I have the cure ready and everything.”
“Damien. No,” Twilight said firmly.
“But think of the applications! If your little marks can artificially boost one’s skill in the areas related to the mark, then they have nigh limitless potential! Imagine if we were able to create specific strains of the cutie pox virus that would temporarily give a particular talent to an individual. You could create a temporary work force for any job in the blink of an eye and they would be as skilled as though they had been doing that work for years!” His eyes gleamed. “And imagine if we could create stable versions of the virus that would permanently give only a single talent! Instantaneous mastery of whatever you could desire!”
“No.”
Damien opened his beak once more but instead sighed and started grumbling about how little respect ponies had for advancing the sum of arcane knowledge.
Gallus looked down at his flank and back at Twilight. “How do ponies usually get these marks?”
“Usually by doing something that they’re good at, although sometimes it’s more of a personal revelation when something momentous happens to them.”
Gallus nodded and put down a mental note to not eat anything Damien prepared until he got one of those emblems of his own.
“You might not want to go by Gallus when you’re talking to ponies,” Gilda suddenly said. When he turned a questioning look towards her she continued, “Most ponies have names based around stuff. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle. Gallus is more of a griffon name. Goin’ by Blueflame’d make you stand out less.”
“I must say I’m surprised that you of all people are helping him out with this,” Damien observed.
“He doesn’t like you right?”
Damien nodded.
“That’s reason enough for me.” She turned towards Twilight. “You wanna help me show him around town?”
“Sorry, I’ve already gone really far off schedule, and I’ll need to shorten my lunch and dinner breaks already if I want to get my full study session in today.” An apologetic smile crossed her face. “I have some free time tomorrow if you want my help then though.”
“Sure, I doubt I’ll be able to teach this guy enough to keep him safe from Damien in one day anyway.”
As Twilight trotted away Lyra chose to speak up. “So I take it that means that you’ll be staying here for your acclimation training?”
Gallus nodded.
“And Damien will be responsible for reopening the portal to your home?”
Gallus winced but nodded once more.
Lyra gave him a sympathetic look. “If you ever need anything just stop by Sweet Treats. Bon Bon is part of the same group as me and we both live over her shop.” She looked over at Gilda who nodded in silent affirmation, confirming that she knew where the shop was. Lyra tilted her head in a slight bow and walked off; leaving Gallus in the care of two griffons whose ability to assist others was sketchy at best.
“Well I guess we should get started on your tour then,” Gilda said as she stretched her wings. “After some breakfast though,” she amended as her stomach began to protest leaving location with a fully stocked kitchen.
Gallus glanced at the still grumbling Damien with a hint of trepidation but followed Gilda into the house anyway. Given what he had committed himself to he would have to enter the building anyway, and he might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. Besides, with Damien distracted that would probably decrease the chances of something going wrong.
“You gonna want anything?” Gilda asked as they entered the kitchen.
“No, I’ll be fine.” Gallus looked on in silence as he watched Gilda prepare a meal for herself. A simple lightly seasoned grilled cony. Even though he could see Damien’s influence on the kitchen he had to give the usurper some grudging respect. The intricacies and functionality of the enchantments and readied spells in the room was fascinating.
His mind was quickly drawn to Gilda’s meal as the smell of cooked rabbit filled the air. He still wasn’t hungry but the griffon’s meal smelled good enough to tempt a bite. “Mind if I try some of that?”
Gilda blinked in confusion and looked down at her meal. “You want some of this?”
“Yes. I’ve been living on travel rations for the last three months, filling but bland. Of course it’s fine if you don’t want to share.”
Gilda shook her head and smirked. “Right, you used to be one of those ape things right?”
“A human?”
“Yeah! Those freaks!” She laughed. “You can’t eat meat anymore. It’s not pretty when a pony tries eating meat, trust me on this one.”
Gallus raised an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious.”
Gilda laughed again and speared a piece of meat with a talon. “Don’t believe me?” she asked as she held out the piece of meat.
Gallus sighed and moved forward, biting the meat from her claw.
“You were supposed to grab it with your horn!” Gilda yelped as she hastily retracted her talon. At Gallus’s blank stare she continued. “With that weird teleki-thing you unicorns can do with your horn.”
His eyes traveled up to regard the horn spiraling out from his head. He shrugged and focused on it. Surprise lined his face as a nearby plate was enveloped in a bright blue aura and floated several inches from the counter it was sitting on.
“You didn’t know you could do that?”
“I’ve only been a unicorn for a few hours. I spent that time making sure I could use combat magic and learning how to properly move with this body. I didn’t have anyone to-” His eyes widened as a tremor shook his body.
Gilda blinked once before her eyes widened in comprehension. Without warning her wings flared open and she shot towards Gallus. Her forelimbs wrapped around him and another powerful flap of her wings lifted them both into the air.
The part of Gallus that wasn’t trying to figure out what was going on marveled at how fast the griffon was able to carry him through the halls without running into anything. Before he knew it his face was being shoved into some strange porcelain object he had never seen before. “What are you-” he stopped talking as he felt another shudder shake his body and his stomach cramped in pain.
Gilda looked on with a chuckle as Gallus’s body violently rejected the meat he had eaten, leaving him shivering on the floor. “Was it worth it?”
“What-” He flinched as his stomach rebelled against him again.
“And that’s what happens when a pony tries to eat meat.” She grinned as she flushed the toilet.
“Hate… everything… so much,” Gallus gasped.
“You alright?” she asked after a few minutes.
“Better,” he replied as he made his way to his hooves. “That happens whenever a pony tries to eat meat?”
“Yep. It’s a lot less entertaining when the pony eating meat throws up all over you instead of into a toilet,” she added with a grimace.
“Right…” He cast a pained look towards her. “I didn’t expect you to be so helpful.”
Gilda tossed her head with a snort before responding. “Just tryin’ to be a little nicer,” she grumbled to herself. When Gallus looked at her with a frown she shook her head. “You ready for your tour?”
“Yeah, I think so,” he said as he focused on steadying his shaking knees. “What about your meal?”
“Already almost finished, only got a few bites left. Come on.”
Steeling himself once more Gallus followed Gilda out of the room, a queasy look still obvious on his face.
<=[XXXXX]=>
As Gilda had said, her meal only took a few seconds to finish. She suggested that Gallus try to eat something, but he was still far too sick from his earlier attempts at eating to contemplate even a light snack.
The tour of the town was, true to what little of Gilda’s nature he had been able to discern, focused on things that she felt might be useful. She would often skip over large sections of the town because they were deemed to be dull. Although largely uninformative it did prepare him for his stay here, if only a little. That and being seen around town with another resident, surly though she may be, helped him start conversations with many of the ponies they met along the way; although he couldn’t help but be amused by the fact that a good deal of them were curious as to whether Gilda had finally managed to find a stallion that could she could stand enough to start a relationship. Most of these encounters ended with Gilda slightly flushed and muttering contrite thanks that they had managed to convince Damien to stay back at the house. There was no way he would have ever let either of them live those moments down.
Of course even with Damien not being present to cause trouble, it seemed that the universe was more than willing to take up the slack. Gallus’s almost enjoyable tour was brought to a sudden end when a shocked shout split the air. Instincts sharpened by two years of service as Arkus’s chosen made him spin around to the source of the shout the moment he heard it. Surprise quickly gave way to confusion as he saw a trio of fillies staring at him in abject horror, one of them pointing a quivering yellow hoof at his flank.
“Why don’t ya have a cutie mark!?” the small yellow filly screamed, drawing the attention of several other ponies.
“Rarity said that everypony gets a cutie mark when they grow up! What if she’s wrong? What if we never get a cutie mark?” a white unicorn filly lamented as tears began to appear in her eyes.
Seeing the brewing tension Gallus galloped over to the fillies and began to try and console them. “You mean my… uh… emblem right? I… uh…” His eyes darted back and forth until they settled on Gilda. “I used to be griffon!” he blurted out. The three fillies stared at him in shock, but seemed to calm down slightly. “And emblems are only gotten when you… realize your talent or use it a lot and have fun with it right? You can’t get one with magic, so when I was turned into a unicorn they couldn’t give me a mark!” A mad desperation glinted in his eyes as he prayed harder than he ever had before that the little fillies in front of him would buy his ruse.
“Why would you want to be a unicorn if you were a griffon? Why not become a pegasus so you could still fly around and be awesome and stuff?” the orange one demanded.
Damn it! Gallus’s mind kicked into overdrive as he tried to figure out what sort of answer the angry looking filly would accept. “My… wings never worked… and I always wanted to know… what it was like to use magic.”
“But Damien uses magic all the time and he’s a griffon,” the white one pointed out.
“Damien is a cheater and a sneak,” Gallus grumbled, not having to fake his tone for the first time since starting his conversation with the foals. Far too late he caught himself and began to worry whether or not he had said the right thing. Relief surged through him as he saw the three fillies nod solemnly. Apparently they had dealt with the usurper before.
As one the fillies seemed to come up with, given the looks on their faces, an amazing idea.
“You could try an’ get your cutie mark with us!” the yellow one exclaimed.
“You probably have all sorts of ideas that we wouldn’t think of!” the white one added.
“And you could help us rent all sorts of cool stuff the adults won’t let us usually have!” the orange one said with a manic grin.
Although that last statement slightly unnerved him, Gallus did his best to smile. “Okay… I’m sure it’ll be fun. Do you want to come with us Gil…da?” He looked around in confusion as he tried to spot his griffon tour guide. He was about to give up when he saw a small figure flying as fast as it could away from them. “You girls wouldn’t happen to have a history with Gilda would you?”
“What? No!”
“Well there was that one time with the avalanche.”
“And we kinda dropped that bee hive on her head… She didn’t get stung though!”
“But other than that nothing!”
“Except the thing with the fish.”
“Oh! And the bit where we almost ran her over on my scooter.”
Gallus’s eye twitched slightly as he began to truly understand what he had just agreed to. Perhaps having Damien along wouldn’t have been so bad an alternative after all.
<=[XXXXX]=>
As Gallus was slowly digging himself into trouble, Damien was idly eying the trap door in his pantry. Four sides to the trap door, with four handles of four colors. The silver one led to the basement and food storage. Gold led to his personal laboratory and was enchanted so that only he could use it. Obsidian led to a small hatch in the Canterlot castle gardens close to a certain statue. Jade? Jade didn’t lead anywhere quite yet. Of course that wasn't due to any lack of effort on his part. His eyes filled with darkness and the physical world seemed to drop out from around him. Instead of walls, floors, and ceilings there were lines upon lines of glowing runes. Dozens of ribbons of scrolling runes hung in the air like so many spider webs. And the trapdoor? It was a storm of circling patterns and intricately overlapping runes. A few casual waves of his hand dimmed all but one incredibly large set of runes centered around where the jade handle was.
As was customary he read out every single line of the runes, carefully checking each one for the slightest error or sign of deterioration. As usual he found nothing wrong, but he hadn’t gotten to where he was by taking needless risks. A quick twist of his claw and a sharp click echoed around the small room as the door behind him locked itself. A number of other gestures brought powerful shields and wards into existence around him, the door, and his work area in general.
He reached into his satchel and pulled out several gemstones, all twinkling with a dark light. The lights flared as he took a deep breath and pulled the power out of the stones and forced it into his talons. Today he had been planning on solving the power issue. Hopefully making the jade handle run on the natural energies of Equestria and the excess magical energy that the ponies put out all the time. He would still only be able to actually open the jade door once a week or so but for his purposes that was likely more than enough. His last thought before his mind descended into the timeless fog where he did his best work was of Gallus, and how angry the poor hero was going to be when he finally got around to finding out that Damien already had an almost functional door back to their home world just lying around the house.
“So… what exactly do you try to do in order to get your cutie marks?” Gallus cautiously asked.
“Well we just finished trying to get siege cutie marks,” Sweetie Belle explained.
“Ah built the catapult,” Applebloom proudly declared.
“Too bad Applejack took it away before we could try using it,” Scootaloo grumbled.
Gallus could only stare at the fillies in wonder. “What sort of use would a talent in sieging things be?”
The three fillies exchanged confused looks.
“Well… we could help demolish buildings,” Scootaloo reasoned.
“Yeah! And we could help the royal guard keep Canterlot safe!” Applebloom added.
Only Sweetie Belle seemed to show any level of doubt about the viability of a sieging cutie mark. “What do you think we should try to do for a cutie mark?”
Gallus blinked. “What?”
“Yeah! If you’re so smart what do you think we can do to get our cutie marks?” Scootaloo demanded.
Gallus was silent as he wracked his mind for something that might make the fillies in front of him happy. In the midst of his frantic contemplations, some small part of him noted that these sorts of things might be why Gilda had run away from these three. All the implied suffering they may have caused the griffon probably also had something to do with it too. If half the things that the fillies had said had been true then it might be best if he suggested something safe. “How about…” He paused as several ideas flashed though his mind. Hunting, fishing, and wilderness survival were the first to come to his mind. They were dismissed just as quickly. “Pottery?” he asked.
Although the pegasus filly looked unenthused about his suggestion the other two seemed much more willing to give it a shot.
“What’ll we need in order ta try getting’ a pottery cutie mark?” Applebloom wondered.
“We’ll need clay won’t we?” Scootaloo offered.
“I think Slip Shine has clay and one of those big furnaces,” Sweetie Belle answered.
As one the three fillies nodded and leapt into the air. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER POTTERS GO!” they shouted at the top of their tiny little lungs. With their battle cry completed they shot down the streets towards their destination. Only to return not even a minute later to give Gallus a sullen look.
“Yer supposed to follow us,” Applebloom said.
Gallus looked down at them in confusion. “I don’t even know who you are.”
The fillies looked at him in surprise for a few moments before introducing themselves.
“Ah’m Applebloom.”
“I’m Sweetie Belle.”
“Scootaloo.”
Gallus nodded at each name. “And I am… Blueflame,” he said after a pause. He had considered going by Gallus for a time, but as Gilda had said it seemed that his title would rouse less suspicion.
“Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you,” Scootaloo said. “Now hurry up! We need to get to Slip Shine’s shop!”
Without further ado the fillies sped down the road, leaving a bemused Gallus to follow the fading trail of dust.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gallus looked around in slight horror while he telekinetically fished a clay shard out of his mane. After his month in the Northlands he had thought he’d seen every conceivable way to destroy things, but these fillies seemed able to outclass all but the most inventive warriors.
“Aww man, I was sure we’d get our cutie marks this time!” Applebloom moaned. She had actually managed to get a relatively proper clay pot made, of course beside what Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had made almost anything would have been an improvement.
“What do you think went wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked as she tentatively poked the firing kiln. She doubted that any more half-baked clay shards would shoot out of it but given their reputation, it never hurt to be careful.
Scootaloo was less careful, peeking inside the still blazing kiln as best she could. “Hey! My sculpture of Rainbow Dash exploded!”
“That was supposed ta be Rainbow Dash?” Applebloom asked.
“I thought it looked good,” Sweetie Belle assured her now sulking friend.
Gallus shook his head in disbelief. Maybe Gilda had been right to run away from these walking disaster areas. With a sigh he trotted over to the counter and peeked over it. “I’m very sorry about that ma’am. I think the worst is over now,” he assured the still shaking mare that had bunkered down behind the counter.
“R-right.” She looked around the shop and heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that there had been very little actual damage.
“I managed to contain most of the blast,” Gallus explained when he saw the relieved look on her face.
She turned to him with wide eyes. “You… you were able to contain a Crusader Disaster?”
Gallus winced slightly as he heard the obvious capital letters in her tone. “Yes. I guess I did.” He looked around the shop, taking note of several chunks of clay scattered around the shop. “Mostly anyway.”
She shook her head. “Even doing this much.” She cast an appraising look around the shop once more. “I don’t think I lost any merchandise at all!” she marveled. “Are you going to be herding those three full time?” she asked, hope shining in her eyes.
“I doubt it. I just got here and really should be looking for work. I just got dragged along when they saw I didn’t have an emblem.”
Slip Shine glanced down at his flank in surprise. “I didn’t even notice that. It’s rare to see a full grown pony without a mark.”
“I wasn’t a pony until recently. I was born a griffon with crippled wings and eventually found someone that could transform me into something else.” Gallus felt a slight twinge of guilt as she nodded in acceptance of his half-truth.
“That makes sense. Nopony can earn their mark with a spell.” She paused. “Well I guess they can if their talent is casting spells,” she admitted. “In any case, if I run into anypony looking to hire somepony I’ll tell them about you. It’s the least I can do after you helped keep my shop intact.”
A few moments passed as Gallus processed the mare's sudden offer of assistance. "Ah, yes! Thank you!" he eventually managed to respond.
“Don’t worry!” she laughed. “Like I said it’s the least I could do. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if everypony in town was willing to chip in a few bits a day to keep you running herd on the crusaders.” She cast a hopeful glance his way.
“No thank you. I’ve only known them for less than an hour and I can already tell that I wouldn’t be able to survive watching them full time.”
Slip Shine laughed again. “It was worth a shot.” She glanced over at the crusaders, all of whom were looking around the shop for new cutie mark ideas. “I think they’re ready to head out to their next crusade,” she told Gallus. “Good luck with them.”
Gallus smiled and headed over to the crusaders in time to hear their next idea.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Well that could have gone… worse,” Gallus said as the four of them half-limped away from yet another crusade gone wrong. “Do things always end like that?”
“Too often,” Sweetie Belle groaned.
“It wasn’t that bad! Did you see how far the watermelon flew? That was awesome!” Scootaloo said with a grin.
“So much for Cutie Mark Crusader Watermelon Farmers,” Applebloom sighed. Her gloomy mood vanished in an instant as she looked to her fellow crusaders. “What should we try next?”
“No offense, but so far everything you’ve tried seems to be something you weren’t too good at. Why not try something you already know you can do?” Gallus asked.
Applebloom looked at him like he was crazy. “Cuz we don’t have cutie marks for ‘em! If something we were already good at was our special talent wouldn’t we already have our cutie marks by now?”
Gallus frowned slightly. “But from what I understand it’s less you just doing something and more you figuring out that it’s something that you enjoy and take pride in. If you’ve been doing things like…” He waved his hoof vaguely in the direction the watermelon had flown. “Then wouldn’t you be working against getting your marks?”
The fillies looked at him and rolled their eyes. They had heard the same reasoning from every singe adult that they had tried to get help from. Well, all but Damien, but they were pretty sure that he didn’t count.
“Then what do you think would get you your cutie mark?” Scootaloo challenged eventually.
Gallus closed his eyes as he tried to think of what he was good at. He had been rather good with the fire magic that Arkus had given him. On the other hand… or was it hoof here? It wasn’t exactly something that he was born with so could it be his talent? He snorted at this. If that magic was his talent then wouldn’t he have gotten his mark during the fight with Damien? But no… he had never had any real connection with his magic. Even when he had met his familiar he had bonded more with it in particular than grown any actual connection to his magic.
He growled under his breath as he tried to think of something that he felt connected to. Something that he could do and loved to do. Something that he could see as his. His eyes snapped open as a grin spread across his face. “I think I know.”
The fillies looked at each other in astonishment, a small flame of hope sparked deep in their hearts. If this stallion was right and had figured out his talent this quickly then he would definitely be able to help them out, right?
“Well? What is it?” Scootaloo demanded.
“Hold on, we’ll need something first. There wouldn’t happen to be a store that sells instruments nearby, would there?”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Heh not that often I get somepony lookin’ for one of these babies,” the old grey stallion said as he reverently placed the small case on the counter. “Not too many earth ponies can manage much with ‘em.”
Gallus smiled and telekinetically opened the case to reveal a beautifully crafted violin. “It’s perfect,” he breathed as he lifted it from the case in order to examine it more thoroughly.
“A violin? That’s lame! You should try the drums! Or a guitar!” Scootaloo said as she watched Gallus examine the instrument.
Gallus ignored the filly and lifted the bow from the case. “May I?” When the shopkeeper nodded he carefully placed the bow on the strings and drew it across slowly. “A little out of tune,” he muttered as his magic grasped the pegbox and twisted the pegs slightly. Once more he drew the bow across the strings, smiling as the sound filled the air. “Perfect.”
He began slowly, with a simple song he had heard years ago in the tiny village he had been raised in. The family fortunes had long since been lost to history and repeated attempts to hire mercenaries and heroes to fight Damien, so the small house was all they had left. He got about halfway through the song before stopping. “It’s not right,” he muttered, “not right at all.” He stared at the instrument and grimaced. It didn’t feel right. Something was wrong. He examined the instrument once more; looking for any flaws that might make things sound so off, anything that could contribute to his feeling. But no, the instrument was perfect. His eyes widened in sudden inspiration. What if it wasn’t the instrument? What if it was him? He looked down at his hooves. He certainly couldn’t play the violin without fingers. It was a wonder that a species lacking them even managed to invent a violin in the first place. His gaze narrowed in determination as he focused on his hooves, and there was a whoosh as his forehooves burst into flame. A fire as blue and bright as any he had ever conjured to combat the various monsters that plagued humanity. His grimace slowly became a smile as he flexed his new flaming fingers. They gave off no heat and he could feel through them. After giving a reassuring demonstration of their non-destructive properties to the shopkeeper, a reasonable desire for anyone who had almost their entire lively hood made out of very flammable objects, he picked up the bow and violin.
This time he sat on his haunches and placed the violin to his neck. It felt different from what he was used to, different yet somehow right. He placed the bow against the strings and placed one set of flaming fingers around the instrument's neck. It felt almost as though he had never stopped playing, never gone on to be a hero for two years. With a deep breath he drew the bow across the strings once more.
Once again the song started with the simple tune he remembered from his home. But this time it grew into something else. His movements sped up as his fiery hands steadied. Before long the bow and his summoned fingers were dancing along the instrument with a precision and dexterity that amazed everypony in the room. Precision and dexterity that would have amazed him had he not been so lost in the song that he wasn’t even aware of his surroundings. He poured himself into the song as he played the instrument that he had given up so long ago in order to try and regain his family’s position. Every thought and every emotion that he had felt, every trial he had undergone, everything that had made up his entire life up until that point went into the song. Before he knew it the song was over and he was left breathing as heavily as though he had been fighting a dragon. It took several moments for him to remember where he was and what he had been doing. When he finally fully regained his senses he turned to look at the other ponies in the shop. “Um, how was it?”
His words seemed to break a trance that had fallen over the shop as everypony, even Scootaloo, began to clap wholeheartedly.
“That was beautiful. I never thought I get to hear one of my violins played with so few unicorns round here,” the shopkeeper said with a smile.
“Thank you,” Gallus said, somewhat confused by the stallion’s response. He hadn’t played that well, had he? He cast a quick look down at the violin and levitated several coins out from a pouch around his neck. “I don’t have any of the local currency but these coins are pure gold. Do you think…?” he let the question trail off as the stallion examined the coins.
“Ya know. It’s not fair to show a stallion that you and an instrument belong together right before trying to haggle on a price,” the shopkeeper remarked good naturedly. After examining the coins for a few seconds he plucked a number of them from the air. “This ought to cover it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course!”
Gallus looked down at the instrument and smiled. It felt right having an instrument of his own again. Arkus had demanded that Gallus focus solely on magic while acting as the god’s disciple. That had meant casting away his old violin. He carefully placed his new treasure inside its case and did up the latches once more. Arkus had never said he couldn't get a new one after his two years of service were up after all.
“Here’s a carrying strap,” the shopkeeper said as he produced a long fabric belt with a buckle. “Let you carry it without having to use your magic all the time.”
Gallus accepted the gift and hefted the violin case onto his back, securing it in place with his new belt. For some reason it just felt right to have the instrument sitting on his back. His moment of peace was quickly interrupted by a sudden gasp. He turned to see, for the second time today, the three fillies pointing at him with wide eyes.
“You got your cutie mark!” Scootaloo cried.
Gallus looked down at him flank to see a winding staff with several notes and a bow crossing in front of it. Did this mean that his true calling was to play the violin? It had appeared when he had been playing the violin so it would make sense. He smiled slightly as he realized that this proved the point he had been trying to make to the fillies. “See? You just have to try-” he started to explain.
“We should try playing instruments too!” Applebloom exclaimed.
“My mom has plenty of instruments around the house. An instrument playing cutie mark isn’t that cool but it would make her really happy,” Scootaloo said.
“Oh! Can I try playing the lyre? Lyra is always playing it and it sounds so beautiful!” Sweetie belle said with a smile.
“Uh, no. That’s not what I was trying to say,” Gallus began again.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER INSTRUMENT PLAYERS!” the fillies screamed as they leapt into the air.
Gallus sighed as he watched the three exuberant foals rush out of the shop.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“You survived,” Gilda said as she watched Gallus slowly make his way into the kitchen.
“No thanks to you,” he grumbled back.
“Hey, it’s not my fault you weren’t smart enough to run away when you had the chance.”
“Maybe if you had explained why you had run instead of just retreating like that I might have!”
“At least you got your mark. That supposed to be for playing music or something?” Gilda asked as she pointed a claw at the mark that now sat on his flank.
“This? Yeah. It’s for playing the violin apparently.” He levitated the case from his back and opened it to show her the instrument inside.
“A violin huh? Don’t see too many ponies playing griffon instruments." When she saw his surprised look she continued on. “Right. Of course you wouldn’t know about that. Most string instruments were made by griffons. Ponies are mostly known for their brass instruments. Trumpets and things like that.”
“I… never expected that you would know things like that.” Gallus said with an appreciative nod. “No offense,” he quickly tacked on upon seeing the glare Gilda shot him. “You don’t really seem the… musical type.”
“She only knows that because she's been hanging around the library with Ms. Sparkle,” Damien explained as he entered the kitchen from the pantry. “She’s been trying to get lessons on friendship from the master. Or so she says.” He laughed as Gilda shot him a tired glare. “So you got your mark eh?” He didn’t wait for Gallus to answer before continuing on. “Excellent! I’ll just need you to fill out this questionnaire.” He pulled out a massive sheaf of papers and dropped them onto the table in front of Gallus. “The spells around the house will have already stored your magical aura before and after you got your mark. I already have a blood sample from our fight beforehand so I just need a recent one to compare it to.” He smiled wickedly and pulled out a large syringe.
Gallus slowly began to back away and tried to look for help from Gilda, only to see the flash of her retreating tail disappear up the staircase. “YOU COWARDLY BITCH!”
“This place makes no sense,” Gallus grumbled as he glared at the simple zucchini dish he had managed to make for himself.
“It’s not that bad is it?” Damien asked with a grin as he placed his own, far more elaborately prepared, plate on the table and sat down.
Gallus glowered at the griffon before continuing. “An entire race that uses curiously similar implements to our own, controls almost the entire natural world at a whim and for some reason has managed to accept even you into their fold? This place is unnatural.”
“Just a good deal more friendly than our own home.”
“I noticed that,” Gallus grumbled. “That mare whose shop I helped keep somewhat intact yesterday already came by and told me about a couple places that were hiring.”
“You must have made quite the impression,” Damien observed with a wry grin.
Gallus blinked as he worked out what Damien was hinting at, nearly choking on a mouthful of food when he realized what the usurper was getting at. “She’s a pony!” he eventually managed to choke out.
“And what of it? You happen to be a pony as well. Besides, despite there being major differences between them and humans in terms of appearance you must admit they have amazingly human faces capable of equally human expressions. It makes them very relatable. Nothing’s wrong with being open to women of other species after all and Miss Shine would definitely be quite the catch. She may not have the glamor of, say, Rarity but she is quite agreeable and always willing to spread a little kindness.”
Gallus snorted. “Somehow I am less than surprised to hear you admit to such an interest in these ponies.”
“Is this about the dragon, the orc, or that fox thing from across the ocean? Because the fox was a damn good shapeshifter.”
Gallus’s jaw fell open. “I… You…” Failing to come up with a proper response he turned back to his meal with single-minded determination.
“So what kind of work did Miss Shine bring to your attention? I will be expecting some sort of payment in return for lodgings after all.”
Gallus grumbled something nearly unintelligible about Damien but eventually spoke up. “There are several places looking for assistants. A clockmaker who wants a unicorn to help with the more fiddly bits of clock making, about five shops in town would be willing to hire an additional worker, and when she saw my emblem she suggested meeting up with some of the town’s other musicians to see if I can get in on any commissions with them.”
“Excellent! You’ll be able to stop mooching off of me pretty soon then right?”
“I know that you have nearly four hundred years’ worth of accumulated riches lying around somewhere. I don’t think having a guest for a few days will put a dent in your fortune.”
“Yes, but it is the principle of the thing.”
Gallus scowled but didn’t argue. After the silence had become unbearable he spoke up again. “How long until the portal is complete?”
Damien raised an eyebrow and snorted. “Do you have any idea how complex a spell you are talking about?”
Gallus waited for Damien to continue but when nothing was forthcoming he began to open his mouth.
“Of course you don’t!” Damien said vehemently. "It took me months of near constant work in order to create the original portal to this world. Months in a castle where I was at full power, had access to all the tools I could need, and could do whatever I pleased without worry of reprisal any greater than what I got on a nearly weekly basis. Even simply recreating the spell requires at least a month to set everything up right if I work on it full time. Working on it in my spare time? That could end up taking half a year! Maybe more!”
“Work on it in your spare time? That’s the only kind of time you have!”
Damien fixed a baleful eye on his new boarder. “I spend my time learning, reinforcing my home, and interacting with a world that neither hates nor fears me. Well some of them fear me but that’s beside the point. What I would consider my spare time is rare and fleeting. Something you would do well to remember.”
Gallus felt an involuntary shiver run up his spine as Damien spoke. There was something to his voice, something he had only heard in the voices of those with both great power and the drive to use it to further their goals. But just as quickly as Damien had adopted the icy face, it vanished.
“Besides, I came here to retire! Laze about and not have to do any actual work! You’re asking me to break the number one rule I have set for myself: don’t do anything too strenuous. And making a portal back home with any level of haste? Very strenuous,” he said with a chuckle.
Gallus groaned and rubbed his forehooves against his temples. “I don’t suppose answering a few questions would be too much work for you would it?”
“Probably not. Gilda not able to answer all your questions?” Damien asked with an understanding smile.
Slightly thrown by the sudden, slight, connection with the usurper it took a few moments for Gallus to respond. “Yes. There were many things I think she either took for granted or didn’t know about that I would rather like answers for.”
Damien waved for him to continue but said nothing.
“There were two ponies. A pegasus and a…” he paused as he searched for the proper name for the third race of ponies. “An earth pony. They were surrounded with powerful magic. But I was under the impression that only unicorns could actually cast spells.”
“Ah yes, them,” Damien said with a shake of his head. “They confused me for a time too. Even Twilight seemed to know nothing about them. In time I discovered that they are a type of creature known as a changeling. A sort of insect-like pony that feeds off of the emotions of others, most prominently love.”
Gallus’s eyes narrowed at this. “And of course you would let such monsters stay hidden,” he growled.
Damien glared at Gallus and the air crackled with energy. “You will do nothing to them, hero. They are refuges; fleeing persecution by their own kind for their desire to live in peace and you will let them have what they have worked so hard to achieve.”
Gallus just barely fought down the urge to turn tail and run from the table. “Why?” he eventually managed to ask.
Damien blinked and shook his head, the raw energy in the air dissipating as he calmed himself. “They are here with the consent of the Princesses, much like myself. The love they feed off of is freely given and harms no one with its consumption. I ask only that you never bring your knowledge of their true forms to their attention and let no one else know about it. They have spent years building up peaceful lives here and I will not let their work be invalidated by a self-righteous psychopath that thinks he knows better than those with far greater wisdom.” The pressure returned once more, stronger than ever, as Damien locked eyes with Gallus. “Do you understand?”
“Y-yes,” Gallus barely managed to choke out. As soon as the words left his mouth the pressure was gone. “You were quite… vehement about that. What are those two to you?”
“I don’t like it when idiots without full knowledge of the situation rush in and destroy the lives of others based solely on what they are,” Damien replied.
Gallus waited for several seconds, wondering if Damien would elaborate or say anything else. When nothing more was forthcoming it became clear that the griffon considered this particular line of inquiry done and over with. “Very well. I was puzzled by some of the architecture here. I could have sworn I saw some round doorknobs…”
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gallus left the house nearly two hours later. Damien had been very open with what he knew, perhaps too open. As amusing as his anecdotes had been, they had taken far too much time, although the validity of some of them were to be doubted. Could that little pudgy thing he had seen when Gilda took him to the library really nearly destroy the town just because it was given too many presents? He doubted it. But with how little he did know of this realm, and his painful admittance that Damien knew far more than he did, he couldn’t rule anything out.
Of course now was the time to try and get a job, not worry about shape shifting dragons. He shifted the violin case on his back and grimaced slightly. Although he could probably live off of what money he had brought with him, Arkus had been generous and the monsters Gallus had dispatched often had their own caches of treasure, he doubted he could subsist off of it for as long as Damien seemed to think the spell would take to recreate. Since he didn’t even know how much the usurper was going to charge him for room and board, and there was no way he was going to give away his blood, it was probably for the best that he get some level of income going. Flames, he might even be able to bribe Damien to work on the spell faster if he got his… hooves on enough money.
It was in these high spirits that Gallus entered his first stop: the watchmaker’s shop. The bell above the door jingled merrily and announced his presence to the empty room. Gallus let his eyes wander across dozens upon dozens of ornately carved clocks. Each one had the look of a master craftsman in its construction and shone with a gleaming polish that spoke of the tender care they received. He was so distracted by the clocks that he managed to not notice the bright orange pegasus stallion behind the counter. Gallus nearly jumped out of his skin when he finally noticed the shopkeeper, who seemed to be completely absorbed in reading a newspaper and just as oblivious as Gallus had been. “Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” Realizing how pathetic this sounded he quickly spoke up again. “I was just so distracted by all these clocks. Did you make them all yourself?”
There was no response.
“Hello? Can you hear me?” Gallus asked as he took a closer look at the pegasus. It looked like there was… something jammed into his ears. Something to block out sound perhaps? But why would any shopkeeper want to block out any customer; especially when he had a bell to announce them? It just didn’t make any sense. Before Gallus could pursue this train of thought any further there was a torrent of ticks from all around the shop as every single minute hand inched forward one space, a space that just happened to mark a new hour. The interior of the shop seemed to quake as every single clock began to chime. Gallus fell to the floor, his forehooves pressed to the sides of his head in a vain attempt to drown out the noise. Even when the noise subsided he remained on the floor, groaning as he tried to overcome the ringing in his ears.
“Is someone there?” a voice asked.
“Down here,” Gallus grumbled.
The sound of hooves on wood reached Gallus’s stinging ears as the stallion made his way around the counter. “Oh! Sorry ‘bout that. I didn’t expect anypony to come by at the turn of the hour. Are you alright?”
Gallus nodded and slowly lifted himself off the floor. “This happens every hour?”
“Yep. Most ponies know not to come in to close to the new hour. Even with all the soundproofing enchantments I had put on this place anypony nearby can still hear a little bit if they’re just outside. That’s usually enough to convince most ponies not to be in here without earplugs at the turn of the hour.” He nodded towards a box right next to the door with the words ‘Free Earplugs’ emblazoned on it. “What can I get you?”
“I’m Blueflame. Slip Shine told me you might be interested in hiring me as an assistant.”
The stallion looked blankly at Gallus for a moment before his eyes lit up with comprehension. “Right! You’re that unicorn she was talking about!” He smiled. “Been wanting an assistant for a while now. Did you know there are two other ponies with clock related cutie marks in town? A brown earth pony that insists you call him Doctor, and a blue unicorn that decided she was better off as a dentist!” He shook his head. “It’s just sad. Nopony around here has any appreciation for a good clock these days.”
Gallus looked around the packed shop. “I see… Then how do you make enough to afford to hire an assistant?”
The pegasus blinked and was silent for a moment before letting loose a thunderous laugh. “You really are new aren’t you?” he asked in between guffaws. “Ponyville may not be too big or too fancy but it is picturesque! All those haughty high and mighty unicorns up in Canterlot come down here all the time to get authentic hoof-made goods and see how the little ponies live.” He snorted to show what he thought of the tourists. “Annoying but profitable. Of course we also have all the ponies that came by in order to check out the Everfree forest and we’re the best rest area between Canterlot and nearly every other city in Equestria. Almost nopony round here buys my clocks but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any business.” Another grin. “I’m Pendulum by the way. Most ponies just call me Pen though.” He extended a hoof in greetings.
“Nice to meet you,” Gallus responded as he shook hooves with Pen. There was another thing he didn’t understand about ponies: names. They all seemed to have names perfectly suited to their occupation and their emblem. Perhaps going by Blueflame wasn’t the best idea after all.
“So how good are you with your telekinesis?” Pen asked.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Okay, it’s not a total loss. There are still plenty of nobles that would pay plenty for a good looking clock, even if it doesn’t ring the hour anymore. Or keep the proper time.” He looked down at the gears sticking out of the clock’s body. “Might make a good modern art piece anyway.”
“I don’t think clock repair is for me,” Gallus said with a wince.
“Probably for the best.” Pen nodded.
Gallus left the clockmaker’s shop with a strange sort of melancholy. It turned out that delicate telekinesis wasn’t his strong suit. His telekinesis was strong, the gear driven halfway through the solid oak clock was proof enough of that, but his finesse was lacking. He shook his head as he thought back to the list of potential jobs Slip Shine had given him. Sure the first one hadn’t exactly turned out too well but it’s not like he would have such abominable luck with everything right?
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gallus’s eye twitched dangerously as he left yet another store that he had proven less than capable in assisting. Apparently two years trying to strengthen your magic and cast the most powerful and dangerous spells you can get your hands on ever so slightly degrades your ability to use it for… anything else. Oh he could do basic levitation fine, any unicorn could do that, but beyond that? Chaos, destruction, and giant blue fireballs. He still had no idea how he had managed to accidentally summon Sapphire, or that she hated wigs so much. Well he would still be able to meet up with the local musicians to see whether or not he could get in on any commissions or events in the near future. If they could make a living off of it then he could too right? And at least with that he knew he was able to properly use his magic.
Unfortunately Slip Shine wasn’t very familiar with any of the local musicians and had only been able to give him some vague descriptions of some of the more prominent of them. First was a turquoise unicorn with a lyre cutie mark. That sounded like Lyra, he sort of knew her but wasn’t sure he wanted to try and beg a job off of her, especially after he had declined her help yesterday. The others were a blue coated, blue maned, earth pony with an emblem of several music notes that worked at a nearby bar and did some playing in the park every so often. Apparently he primarily played something called jazz and had a saxophone. Whatever that was. Next was another earth pony, grey with a similar mane, who played the cello and had a treble clef for her mark. Some mention was made of something called a DJ that worked at a local club. She didn’t really play conventional music but did qualify as a musician in her own way. Right now his best bet would be finding someone that knew who everyone was and… and… Someone was staring at him. Two years of being thrown into the most dangerous situations imaginable had honed his sixth sense to a fine razor’s edge, he knew when he was being watched. He whirled around to see a bright pink pony staring at him. She didn’t look dangerous; not too dangerous anyway. “Who are you?”
“I’m Pinkie Pie are you new because I’ve never seen you before and you look new are you the one that came here yesterday and tried to attack Damien because that wasn’t very nice don’t you think it wasn’t very nice you should try being nice to other ponies because then you’d be able to make more friends but HEY we should throw you a Welcome to Ponyville Party because you’re going to stay in Ponyville now aren’t you you look like somepony that would stay in Ponyville and that means I need to throw you a party to welcome you properly and why are you staring at me like that?”
Gallus felt like he should apologize for his rudeness but he couldn’t help but stare at the strange pink thing in front of him. He didn’t think it was possible for anything to talk that much. “Right. Sorry about that. I’m Blueflame. Umm, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could find any of the local musicians would you?”
“Lyra, Noteworthy, or Octavia? I guess Vinyl might count too but Octavia always gets mad when somepony refers to her as a musician,” Pinkie immediately responded.
Gallus blinked. “You know all of them?”
“Of course! I know everypony in Ponville! Whatcha need ‘em for?” She looked at him quizzically, her eyes widening as her eyes fell on his emblem. “Are you a musician too?”
“I… I guess so. I was hoping I’d be able to ask their help in looking for work.”
Pinkie smiled and dashed to his side, throwing a foreleg over his shoulders and pulling him close. “Then let’s get you a job!”
For some reason the prospect didn’t quite sound as appealing as it had two minutes ago.
“So now we just need to head over to Lyra and Bon Bon’s place and-”
“Could we not go to Lyra first? Why not… Octavia or Noteworthy?”
“Weeeelllllllll,” Pinkie drawled as she moved away from him. “Octavia likes living in Ponyville because it’s close to Canterlot without actually being Canterlot and she does almost all of her work over in Canterlot so she probably won’t be very useful when it comes to what kind of work you can find around here and Noteworthy does a lot of work just for the bar he works at or plays every so often in the park for extra bits plus most of the time when he does extra work it’s because somepony came to him for a request so he doesn’t really know much about where to find extra work either but Lyra’s instrument is kind of a niche thing so she doesn’t get anywhere near as many requests as Noteworthy and since she doesn’t want to leave Ponyville very often she doesn’t leave for work like Octavia does so she has the most information on how to find extra jobs for a musician,” she said before taking in a massive gulp of air.
Thankfully this pause allowed Gallus to overcome the confusion brought on by Pinkie’s near rant. “I… see,” he muttered, half to himself. “Are you sure that they won’t be able to help us? Or what about that last one, Vinyl?”
“Oh, she’s a DJ for a nightclub. She lives with Octavia but she does most of her work through the club and any extra stuff is by request so she probably won’t be very helpful.” Pinkie placed a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “Her work is a liiiittle different from yours so the places she plays for might not really be the same places you’ll play for.”
“Why? How is her work so different?”
Pinkie blinked, not used to being the one caught flathoofed. “Well it’s ‘cause she plays techno and stuff. It’s kinda like comparing pie and cupcakes, they’re both really ultra super tasty but they aren’t the same thing and when you’re in the mood for pie you want pie! Not cupcakes. Unless you want a cupcake pie.” She leaned towards him conspiratorially. “Cupcake pies aren’t actually all that good,” she whispered. “Trust me.”
Gallus thought about pursuing the topic of the cupcake pie for a few seconds but decided against it. Instead he opted to go with the first question her statement had brought up. “What exactly is techno?”
Pinkie blinked in surprise and a look of comprehension spread across her face. “Do you know about rock and roll?”
“I’ve heard of rocks that roll,” Gallus said hopefully.
“Metal?”
“Of course I’ve heard of metal. Damn useful material.”
“Hip Hop?”
“Not sure what jumping has to do with anything.”
“Blues?”
“What do colors have to do with music?”
“Jazz?”
“Slip Shine mentioned something like that.”
“Classical?”
Gallus merely looked at her blankly.
Pinkie nodded as though his answers confirmed something. “Okay! What instrument do you play?”
“Violin.”
Pinkie smiled and pointed down the road with a hoof. “Then to Lyra!”
“I don’t want to see Lyra first.”
“Then on to Octavia!” Pinkie shouted, her hoof swinging towards a different road without missing a beat.
Gallus watched in slight wonder as his hyperactive guide shot down the road, only to return seconds later with a massive grin on her face.
“Omigosh! I forgot all about your welcome wagon!”
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gallus glowered at Pinkie as he fished yet another chunk of cake from his mane.
“At least I remembered to put the cake batter in the oven and the confetti in the confetti cannon!” Pinkie pointed out as she bounced alongside him. “Not like last time when I put the cake batter in the confetti cannon and the confetti in the oven. Boy was that a mess.” She paused for a moment. “Still really super-duper tasty though. Have you ever had cake batter before? Mr. and Mr. Cake say I’m not supposed to eat it ‘cause then I might get sick but how could something so ultra-super scrumptious make you sick? It’s not possible!” She looked over as Gallus was about to throw the cake chunk away. “You gonna eat that?”
He eyed her wearily but ended up tossing the chunk of cake in her general direction. “Putting aside how you could confuse confetti with batter, why would it ever be a good idea to launch a cake at someone?”
“Well why not? It’s a cake! Everypony loves cake!”
“That does not mean they want it thrown at them. How would you like it if some… pony suddenly threw a bunch of cake at you?”
“I’d love it! Is somepony going to throw cake at me? What kind of cake? Chocolate? Vanilla? Marble? Cheese? Pineapple upside down? Bundt?”
Gallus tried his best to block out Pinkie as she listed more types of cake than he thought existed in this, or any, world. “Why are you helping me?” he finally asked. “In fact, ever since I got here ev- everypony has been helping me for little to no reason. Even Damien has assisted me for virtually no reason.”
“He probably thought you were entertai~ning,” Pinkie half sang.
“Of course he did. But that doesn’t explain why you’re helping me.”
Pinkie looked at him and frowned slightly. “So I shouldn’t help you?”
“Well I’m not saying that you shouldn’t-”
“So if you don’t want me to not help you then there isn’t any reason to not help you right?” she asked with a smile.
“That’s not a reason!”
“Sure it is! Is there any reason for me not to help you?”
“Well you could be too busy, or not like me, or-” He was cut off when a pink hoof was shoved into his mouth.
“See! No reason for me not to help you at all,” Pinkie said firmly. An almost unsettling look of seriousness shone forth from her eyes as she stared him down. He was stuck between fighting of fleeing when a sudden smile split her muzzle. “Now turn that frown upside down and let your aunt Pinkie get you a job!”
Gallus sighed but didn’t bother trying to contradict Pinkie, for all he knew she may well be older than him. In an attempt to mask his confusion he looked around at the road they were travelling along. “Hey, did we pass by this way already?”
“Yeppers!”
“Why?!”
“We were busy talking and I didn’t want to ruin things!”
Gallus sighed. “Where is Octavia’s house?”
“Oh, that’s right here!” Pinkie chirped as she pointed a hoof at the building they were passing at the moment.
“And how many times have we passed this house?”
“Only once! You’re really observant!”
“Thank you?” He shook his head to clear his mind he as he turned to look at the house. “Hopefully she’s home.” When Pinkie didn’t respond he turned to where his guide had been standing to see nothing but a cupcake sitting in the middle of the empty street. With the presence of the cupcake assuring him that he hadn’t imagined the whole thing he looked around once more for the crazy mare. When the renewed search turned up nothing he was forced to turn his attention to the cupcake she had left for him. It rose into the air easily enough with a touch of magic and brought with it a small card.
“You’re invited to a super special welcome party at your new house later today! We hope to see you there! Directions to Noteworthy’s house are on the back if things don’t work out with Octavia.” He flipped the card over to see a crudely drawn map along with another message. “If things don’t work out with Noteworthy directions to Lyra’s house are on the back.” Gallus’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion but he flipped the card over once more anyway. He rolled his eyes as he was greeted by another crudely drawn map and a small reminder about his party. “How did she…” He flipped the card over several more times but the images on each side stubbornly refused to change to anything else. He heaved a tired sigh and returned his attention to the house he had been searching for.
It wasn’t until he reached the door and had already knocked that doubts began to creep into his mind. Up until this point his entire experience in job hunting had come down to working the farm he had grown up on and acts of supplication before Arkus. The former had been assured and, indeed, required of him. As such his appearance had been of little consequence in determining if he would get the job. As for the latter, Arkus was known for accepting anyone who had both the talent and the devotion necessary to carry out his will. Meaning his appearance had once more been unimportant. Now that he was faced with the possibility of getting work as a musician it occurred to him that his mane and tail were disheveled, his coat was a mess, and his hooves were stained with dust.
Before he could try and correct any of these now glaring oversights in his appearance the door was opened to reveal a pure white unicorn with a bright blue mane. “Hey, sup dude?” she asked with a grin.
“I… think I have the wrong place. I was looking for an earth mare by the name of Octavia,” Gallus said apologetically.
“Nah, you got the right place. Tavi ain’t here right now though, got some fancy gig up in Canterlot.” The unicorn waved her hoof dismissively. “Whatcha need her for anyway?”
Gallus grimaced slightly as his first prospect at a job was snatched away before he even had a chance at taking it. “Never mind. I was just hoping she might be able to help me find a job.” He shifted his violin case irritably; it somehow felt wrong to not be playing his instrument.
“Really? What instrument do ya play?”
“Violin.”
The unicorn smiled. “You ever think about playin’ something else?”
“No… Why?”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“YOU KNOW, YOU DID PRETTY GOOD FOR YOUR FIRST TIME!” Vinyl shouted into the ringing silence.
“WHAT?” Gallus replied as he tried to fight down the throbbing headache Vinyl’s damn machine had given him.
“YOU… Hold on.” Vinyl closed her eyes and her horn lit up with an aura similar in color to her mane.
Gallus heard a slight popping noise as his headache dimmed and he found that his hearing had returned. He turned a flat stare towards Vinyl who at least had the courtesy to look a little apologetic.
“Sorry ‘bout that dude. I always forget that not everypony is used to that level of bass.” Her wild grin reappeared. “So what did you think?”
“That was…” Terrifying? Destructive? Something he never wanted to experience again in his entire life? “Interesting,” he finished lamely. It seemed that Pinkie had been right about his own musical stylings being a touch different from those of the DJ. “I don’t think I have much of a future with your kind of… music.” If you could call that damned cacophony music anyway.
Even if his last thoughts weren’t vocalized Vinyl seemed to pick up on them. “Ha! Tavi said the same thing but I wore her down eventually. Besides, you got potential! I think I might use that little bit in the middle in my next gig.”
Gallus tried in vain to remember what exactly he had been doing that, according to Vinyl anyway, had apparently qualified as music. “I… see.” Why was it that almost every single mare he had met today was crazy in some way? Lyra and Twilight willingly let Damien stay in their town, Pinkie had defied nature in ways that he had been told were impossible for a non-unicorn, and Vinyl had that infernal machine. “I suppose I should move on to my next stop then.”
“Really? Who ya seein’ next?”
“Noteworthy. Hopefully that meeting will be more… productive than ours was. No offense,” he quickly tacked on.
“Bah, don’t worry. I know my stuff ain’t for everpony. But hey, good luck findin’ a gig!” Her well wishes given she turned to look up at the ceiling. "Now how to get you back down," she muttered to herself as she frowned slightly at the bass that had somehow gotten jammed into her ceiling. Maybe she had made it too strong.
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Second time’s the charm,” Gallus muttered under his breath as he stood in front of yet another picturesque house. As he looked over the house appreciatively he began to really understand what Pendulum had said about this being a tourist town. After giving himself a quick once over to make sure that he at least looked presentable (actually getting cleaned and groomed would take money he was stockpiling against the possibility of not finding a job) he knocked on the door.
The door opened to reveal an earth pony of similar coloration as his: a blue coat and mane, although Noteworthy’s own mane was much darker and closer to his coat than Gallus’s near white icy blue. The stallion seemed to be following a similar train of thought as he sized up a unicorn that others might be forgiven in thinking was a long lost brother or cousin. “Need something?” he finally asked.
“Yes actually,” Gallus said with a slight chuckle. “I heard you were one of the musicians of note in town and was hoping you’d be able to help me find a job or give me tips on finding some freelance work.”
Noteworthy raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly. “You want me to either give up work for you or tell you how to take jobs away from me?”
Gallus’s eyes widened in surprise. “No! I… uh… I never thought of it like that. I mean-” He stopped as he saw Noteworthy crack a smile and soon replied with one of his own. Seconds later they were both laughing whole-heartedly.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” Noteworthy said when a pause finally punctuated their laughter.
“No, no. I needed that,” Gallus replied with a grateful smile. “I have had little enough to laugh about since coming here.”
“Really?” Noteworthy inquired. “You’ll have to explain that one. Why don’t you come inside?”
“Of course, and thank you,” Gallus said as he entered the building, a ghost of a smile still lurking on his muzzle.
The interior of the house was a good deal more subdued than what Gallus had seen of the town as a whole. Instead of the bright cheery colors that he had come to associate with ponykind as a whole, Noteworthy’s home boasted darker greens and blues, with very little that could be called bright or warm.
“Like it?” his host asked with a smile that spoke of countless comments on his decorations.
“Yes, actually. It is a very welcome change from the rest of town.”
Apparently this reaction hadn’t been the one Noteworthy had expected as a wide grin split his muzzle. “Glad to see that somepony else out there likes a little variety!” he cried as he slapped Gallus on the back. “Even if you are buttering me up to make sure I’ll help you I appreciate the compliment!”
Gallus chuckled at this. “My compliments are genuine, I assure you.” His eyes widened slightly as he came to a sudden realization. “Before I forget again I’m Blueflame.”
“Noteworthy. But I‘m sure you already knew that,” Noteworthy replied with a smile. A curious expression crossed his face before he continued, “kind of surprised by your name though. You’re certainly blue, but I don’t see much fire.”
Gallus chuckled and levitated his violin off his back. A casual mental flick unlocked the case, causing Noteworthy to whistle in appreciation at the beautiful instrument within. Gallus couldn’t help but join in the admiration for the instrument. He had loved his old violin but this one was a thing of beauty. He sat back on his haunches and reached for the spell that had let him truly play. Fingers of flickering blue fire sprang up from his hooves, eliciting a slight jump from his audience.
Noteworthy made to speak up when Gallus picked up the violin with the fiery fingers but stayed silent, reasoning that if Blueflame was willing to touch the violin with those things they must be safe. “Well those are definitely blue flames,” he conceded as his guest settled into a griffon playing stance. “Now how does it sound?”
Gallus grinned and closed his eyes in concentration. According to Pinkie the techno stuff Vinyl played was one of the newer types of music and was quickly gaining popularity so that at least gave him an idea of what ponies liked. Although there was no way he could emulate what he had heard before his eardrums had burst, he could likely reproduce some of the energy he had felt in the song. In fact he was sure he could do it. What many of the songs he had learned to play before he left home lacked in complexity or refinement they more than made up for with energy and passion. His inspiration found he drew the bow across the violin and let himself get lost in the music.
Unlike last time he found he was actually aware of how much he was pouring into the song. He may not have been putting forward as much emotion or venting his frustrations though the music but he was still giving his entire being over to the music. It started out slow and tremulous, quivering notes hanging in the air like cloth caught in the wind. But then it grew, quickened and bold. A smile touched his face as his bow danced along the violin and brought forth a lively tune. His confidence grew as he began to let the song shift; slowing down and moving from a mad dash to a leisurely stroll. He let this pace continue for a few minutes more before drawing the bow across the violin in a final long note. “So what did you think?” he asked with a smile.
“Pretty good, pretty good.” Noteworthy nodded, “a little rough and unpolished at places but you’ll improve in time and the audience usually won’t notice unless they’re big music lovers or you really screw up.”
“So you think you can help me get some work?”
“Definitely.” Noteworthy chuckled and shook his head before continuing. “There’s actually a lot of work for a good musician around Ponyville, especially during tourist season. Most of the resturants’ll want somepony to play a little atmosphere music, the bars’ll want somepony to do some shows to draw in customers, and even just playing in the streets can pick up some serious coin. All you really have to do is land one gig, show that you can play, and you should be pretty much set. Offers might be a little slow at first but they pick up fast when they realize you’re good with that thing.” He paused thoughtfully. “The fire thing’ll also pick up some attention. That sort of thing could probably be an entire act by itself if you wanted it to be.”
“I think I’ll stick with the violin,” Gallus said with a laugh.
“Good enough. Think you’ll be able to come by the bar tomorrow night to try playing?”
“Why not tonight?”
“You run into a pink mare with a three balloon mark?”
“Pinkie Pie?”
“Then yeah, you’ll be a bit busy tonight.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
Those confusing and slightly unsettling words were still ringing in Gallus’s head half an hour later when he finally managed to find his way back home. Apparently basing a day long trip around town on in the moment directions wasn’t the best idea. Luckily Damien was well known enough around town for most ponies to be able to at least point Gallus in the right direction. As unsettling as it was for the ponies to be so… nice he had to admit it was useful. He also had to admit that the kindness, naiveté and sheer trust these ponies had for others was likely the main reason Damien had chosen to escape to here instead of another world. This train of thought kept him occupied as he opened the door and started heading inside. As such he was caught completely off guard when the lights came on to reveal about half the town waiting for him. He barely registered the ensuing burst of noise and reacted more or less the way any warrior experienced enough to have a good stockpile of paranoia and possessing skill with fire magic would.
Good thing Damien fireproofed the entire house ages ago.
“-and here is the rest of your embers-cursed money,” Gallus said as he threw a small pouch of bits across the table at breakfast. A week had passed since his first successful job and he had taken several others since. There had been a couple mistakes in a few of them, ponies didn't seem to appreciate a good drinking song for some reason, but other than that his performances were met with vigorous approval. “I still don’t see why I couldn’t pay you in realm coin. As far as I can tell they are made from the same metals.”
“It’s the principal of the thing,” Damien replied as he tucked the pouch into his satchel.
“And that principal is?”
“It mainly means that I would have to either melt the coins down or sell them as oddities. That could get me more or less money that you just giving me bits.” A corner of his beak quirked upwards slightly as he added, “it also forced you to actually get a job instead of sitting around doing nothing all day, not that you don’t do that enough anyway.”
“I do work! It just isn’t quite as… plentiful as it could be,” the unicorn muttered. “Not that you actually do anything!”
“Alas mine fated foe, it is because I am retired. I believe I have acquainted you with the term. In fact I believe I have done so several dozen times over the last week. Would you like me to get the dictionary out again?”
Gallus glared at Damien and shook his head. The last time Damien had gotten out the ‘dictionary’ he had forced Gallus to read the entire thing. Unfortunately it seemed to be a specially made edition that only contained the word 'retired' and its definition for nearly three thousand pages. And the psychopath had sat down and made sure that Gallus had read every page. Every. Damned. Page.
Gallus sighed in defeat and turned his attention towards the simple vegetarian meal in front of him. His lips curled in distaste as he heaved yet another sigh. “Can you at least do something about whatever it is that keeps me from eating meat?”
Damien barked a short laugh and made a show of taking a large bite out of the venison sausage on his plate. “Perhaps. I haven’t studied it much but it seems to have something to do with your magic. Some sort of species wide geas. Possibly set in place to prevent ponies from using their abilities to harm others. Any species with such powerful inborn magic would either have to be very pacifistic, rule the entire world, or have killed themselves off long ago” He tapped a claw against his beak thoughtfully. “That would partially explain why this world is so peaceful,” he mused. “The rest is likely a defense mechanism against creatures such as windigos and Draconequii but that is neither here nor there.”
“I don’t care what it is so long as it can be removed! I miss eating steak!”
“You’ll have to make do without I’m afraid, cows here are sentient and killing them would be murder.”
“Because you’ve always had such problems with murder in the past,” Gallus muttered under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, just grumbling about eating vegetables for breakfast. Again.”
“There are fruits there too,” Damien pointed out, a sickeningly sweet smile on his beak. The smile only grew when Gallus shot a venomous look over towards him. “I suppose I could try to do something about the geas that prevents you from eating meat but from what I can tell it is tied into your very ability to use magic. Take that away in a normal unicorn and it would remove the ability to use magic. In your case? I don’t know. You might be able to keep using your magic due to your previous abilities or it might completely sever them.”
Gallus looked longingly at the sausage on Damien’s plate before shaking his head with a pained look. “Dealing with this body is bad enough with my magic. I don’t think I would be able to stand having to use my mouth for carrying things if something went wrong.” He grimaced as he returned to his meal.
Damien frowned slightly at this. "Another chance at learning down the drain," he muttered with a glower. That and he was responsible for acclimating the ex-hero to Equestria and he doubted that acclimation meant wallowing in self-pity. Besides, he reasoned, there was always fun to be had trying to get Gallus used to the ponies. A fond smile twitched across his beak as he recalled the time he had, with the help of the Crusaders, taught Gallus about the Everfree forest and the creatures inside. That manticore was almost certainly still walking with a limp.
His fond reminiscences were interrupted when the front door opened and Gilda entered the house with a surprisingly happy look on her face. “You seem to be in a good mood,” he observed as she headed over to the refrigerator and began rustling through the leftovers.
Gilda jumped slightly when she heard Damien’s voice. “Not really,” she said in a carefully neutral voice. “Just glad we didn’t have much do today. Most ponies prefer giving their Hearts and Hooves cards personally and not by mail. I was expecting today to be a lot busier.”
Damien’s eyes brightened at the mention of Hearts and Hooves day. “That’s today?” A sly smile crossed his beak. “Would your happiness have anything to do with possibly finding a date for this most auspicious holiday?”
Gilda glared at him for a few moments before replying. “No.”
“Yet I seem to recall you making plans with a certain unicorn for today.”
“Twilight just needs help reorganizing the library. She figures that all those dweebs out there will be too busy sucking face to come in and it would be the perfect time to do it.”
“As you say my dear, as you say,” Damien replied as Gilda began to tear into a plate of cold deer steak. “So I suppose you don’t want to help me get ‘Blueflame’ here to understand how Equestrian holidays work?”
“No,” Gilda replied immediately. Her wing still ached from the last time she had helped with Gallus’ acclimation.
”I don’t suppose I get any say in this do I?” Gallus asked.
“Of course not!” Damien exclaimed. “Now we must get ready for your education my friend. If things go well we shall have a long day ahead of us!”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“As you may have guessed, today’s little soiree has to do with love,” Damien explained to his reluctant student, “of course that doesn’t mean it is exempt from the standard chaos that seems to permeate standard pony life. I was actually lucky enough to be watching this world when this particular holiday rolled around. Since, as you may have noticed, the gender ratio is a little unbalanced and competition can be quite stiff around this time of year. Most of the stallions around town would be hard pressed to not spend a little time with a mare or two.”
“Even that one?” Gallus asked as he saw a strange looking stallion reclining in a jar of jelly.
“I said most stallions,” Damien replied as he rolled his eyes. He smiled as he gave Gallus a sidelong look. “And you, my dear student, happen to be a stallion.”
Gallus looked at him in confusion for a moment as Damien’s words slowly worked though his mind. “No,” he said as soon as their meaning became clear. “I am not going to court a pony.”
“Really now? Well I suppose that we could always find Zecora or Gilda and you could try to court them instead,” Damien replied amicably. “Not that I would assume you’d get very far with either of them. Zecora is fine being alone and Gilda has other interests in mind. Yes, your best bet would be one of the ponies here in town,” he concluded.
“I refuse to court any non-human,” Gallus hissed back, “I don’t care if you are so willing to forsake your nature but I will remain true to myself in any way I can.” His face fell. “I have to.”
Damien sighed as he watched the warring emotions on Gallus’ face. There was no fun in needling someone in such a state. “You don’t need to fear this,” he finally said.
Gallus looked over at Damien, confusion at both the griffon’s words and his almost reassuring tone plain on his face. “What are you talking about?”
Damien rolled his eyes. “I am sure that they will not press you any further than you are willing to go. Merely make your feelings known and most of the ponies will abide by that decision. Let’s just walk through the market and see what happens shall we?”
“And why do we need to walk through the market?”
“Because there are sure to be all sorts of special offers going on today and it will be a good way to get you to spend more time outside.” He gave Gallus a flat look. “I go out and about more than you and I don’t even have a job.”
Gallus grimaced but didn’t dispute that fact. It seemed like Damien left to do something every day; whether it was visiting the library, meeting with some random pony about something, or going to the market like they were right now, he always had his claws in something. Gallus had been quite different. He may have become more accustomed to the strange new world he had found himself in, but his initial rush at the thought of finally crossing blades with Damien had long since faded. Looking back at things with the knowledge he now possessed he felt somewhat foolish about how he had acted. He, of course, was still little more than tolerant of the retired villain but he had started to see little reason to try to kill him. He had to acknowledge that it was likely due in large part to being forced to listen to the silver-tongued devil every day, but there had been several points that Gallus simply couldn’t dispute. In any case his slow acclimation had not included an increased desire to interact with the ponies, something that Damien had apparently noticed.
“Hey!”
The sudden voice disrupted Gallus’s less than fond musings and brought his scattered attention towards a pale yellow mare with bright deep green. “Yes?” he asked in slight confusion at having been called out to so suddenly.
The mare seemed to flinch away from his question. “I… ummm… You…” tried several more times to speak up but failed repeatedly.
Gallus frowned slightly as something about the mare tickled the back of his mind. “Ah! You’re Mixed Brew aren’t you? You were at… all of my performances I believe,” he said with a smile as he managed to place her appearance. She flinched again at the sound of his voice but he continued on gamely. “Is there anything you need?”
She tried several more times to speak up, barely managing a syllable each time before collapsing into inaudible whispers or, more often, complete silence.
“What are you..?” Gallus’s eyes widened slightly as he put the pieces together. A mare coming up to him on a day dedicated to romance, a mare that had, for some reason, been at every single one of his limited performances. “Flames,” he whispered as he looked at the cowering mare with new eyes. “You aren’t trying to… ask me something are you?” he asked slowly. At her nod he continued. “Something in regards to a certain holiday that is going on at this moment?” Another nod, this time accompanied by a tentative smile and wide, hopeful eyes.
Gallus ground a tired hoof against his forehead and let out a heavy sigh. “Umm, look. I’m really flattered that you would ask me but…” He looked down at Mixed Brew again and paused. Her hopeful eyes were now misting over with unshed tears and her lips were quivering with barely restrained sadness. “I… I…” Gallus’s eye twitched as the mare continued to stare into his soul. “I suppose I could spend a little time with you,” he finally said as he hung his head in defeat.
Mixed Brew let out a high-pitched squeal and flung her forelimbs around his neck. “Thank you! You won’t regret this I promise!” She drew back with a gasp. “I was so focused on asking you I forgot to figure out what we should do!” Her eyes darted back and forth in slight panic for a moment before focusing once more on Gallus. “We can go to the park! It’ll be fun!”
Gallus sighed in defeat and put on as strong a smile as he could under the circumstances. “That sounds… interesting,” he said with a mental wince.
“So you either aren’t all that opposed to courtship or you really can’t stand up to mares. Good to know.”
Gallus sighed and didn’t bother turning around. “What do you want Damien?”
“I could give you a list if you're interested, but I find that unlikely.” Damien turned to look at Mixed Brew. “Ah, Ms. Brew. Good to see you again. I don’t suppose my order is ready quite yet?”
The mare shook her head with a slight frown. “I’ve been a little busy recently,” she admitted. “And some of the ingredients have been really hard to get a hold of.”
Gallus looked between the two in shock. “You two know each other?”
Damien snorted and shot him a condescending look. “I am at least acquainted with everyone in town. Ms. Brew happens to sell some very good blends of tea and I have found them to be far superior to mine.” He looked down in thought for a moment. “I believe that her cutie mark influences the tea in some way but I have yet to discern how.”
Before Damien could go off on another one of his tangents about his ongoing cutie mark research, Mixed Brew decided to speak up. “He’s actually the one that suggested I see you perform.”
Gallus’s ears perked up and immediately lay back as he turned towards Damien, fire in his eyes.
“Hey! She mentioned that she liked music, you were going to be playing, and I figured it might do you good to get more ponies interested in you,” Damien said as he back away slightly.
“And this was out of the goodness of your heart?”
“Gates no! If you were to succeed you would be able to pay me. I just wanted you to make enough money for me to be able to take it!”
Gallus glared at Damien but slowly nodded in acceptance of his reasoning. Besides, he doubted that even Damien would be able to find any way to profit off of a mare showing interest in him. “Then I suppose my lessons for the day with you are complete?”
“Of course. I believe you’re going to learn a good deal with her than you would with me after all." He paused and looked pensive for a moment. “Unless you swing that way of course. Nothing wrong with that, but I limit my affections to those of the fairer sex.”
Gallus glared at Damien but didn’t rise to the bait. He had already learned that there was nothing to be gained from trying to meet Damien in open combat unless you knew you held the advantage. While Gallus may not have any intention of pursuing an actual relationship with any pony, he just couldn't bring himself to completely shatter the poor mare's heart.
He sighed and suppressed a wince as he realized that he might just be making the inevitable let down even worse for her when he did have to deny her advances. Unfortunately that line of thought was quickly and efficiently struck down by the still fresh image of the mare about to burst into tears. "So... shall we?" he asked Mixed Brew as he nodded in the general direction of the park.
"Of course!" Brew replied with a joyous grin.
Damien watched them walk off and sighed. "Well. There goes my entertainment for the day. Maybe the Crusaders are doing something fun and potentially dangerous." He paused as he thought over what he had said. "Scratch that, maybe they're doing something fun."
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gallus couldn't recall the last time he had been in such an uncomfortable position. Sure there had been that time when he had almost been caught in the barn with Mira, but at least she hadn't guilted him into that. His eyes flicked down towards the mare at his side and he grimaced slightly. It felt wrong leading her on like this, but it was what she wanted, wasn't it?
As his habitually poor luck would have it Mixed Brew chose this time to ask him a question.
"-so what do you think?"
Gallus looked at her blankly and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, I was... distracted," he confessed.
She sighed and looked at the ground at her hooves. "I thought so. You aren't paying any attention to me at all are you?"
He winced but didn't deny it. "I'm sorry. This is... new to me."
"What? Hearts and Hooves Day? Going on a date? Spending quality time with a mare?"
"Would you believe yes to all three?"
That stopped Mixed Brew in her tracks. "Really? You haven't... Oh Celestia you're gay aren't you?"
"What? No! I'm just-! I mean-!" Gallus groaned and began wishing there was something to slam his head against repeatedly. "It's complicated. Just... really complicated. I don't even know how long I'm going to be here and I'm not used to dealing with..." He waved a hoof vaguely around at the town in general.
One of Brew's eyebrows crept upwards as she tried to puzzle out what he could mean.
When he saw that she wasn't making any progress understanding things his head drooped with a sigh. "Look, I'm not looking for... romance right now. I'm more than willing to spend time with you, more than willing to be your friend, but don't expect anything more from me. It wouldn't be fair to you."
Mixed Brew sighed and looked around the park at all the happy couples. "If you say so. But you will let me at least try to change your mind, won't you?" When Gallus nodded his tentative approval she smiled and pressed slightly closer to his side.
Their date continued for nearly an hour with little to no progress as Mixed Brew tried everything she could think of to warm him up to her, only to meet hesitance, silence, or, at best, a few simple words that quickly faded into awkward silence. They had taken up a spot underneath a tree, stewing in increasingly uncomfortable silence, when a much needed distraction appeared in the form of a familiar griffon tumbling out of the tree and landing on top of Gallus.
"Damien?! Were you following me?!" Gallus cried out indignantly as he wormed his way out from under his landlord.
Damien quickly scrambled to his feet and clamped a claw around Gallus' muzzle. "Be silent you fool! She might hear you!" His eyes darted back and forth as though searching for something before he relaxed infinitesimally.
Gallus' horn glowed as he wrenched Damien's claw from his muzzle and gave him an acidic glare. "What are you talking about?"
"Pinkie Pie! She's been stalking me ever since she took a drink of that punch the Crusaders made! Have you ever tried escaping from Pinkie Pie? It's almost impossible!" He glanced around the park again and turned his attention to Mixed Brew. "You explain it to him."
Brew looked at Damien and rolled her eyes before turning back towards Gallus. "Like he said, it's almost impossible to get away from Pinkie Pie. Not even Rainbow Dash was able to outrun her, and she's able to break the sound barrier at will." She turned back to Damien. "Why is she chasing you anyway? You didn't break a Pinkie Promise did you?"
"Damien looked mortified. "Of course not! Do I look suicidal?! No, I think there was some sort of love potion in that punch, I saw Big Mac and Cheerlilee acting the way Pinkie was earlier while the Crusaders followed them around. I just need to corner the Crusaders and figure out what was in the punch."
Gallus' eye twitched slightly as he looked back towards Mixed Brew for an explanation.
"A Pinkie Promise is something Pinkie Pie came up with. According to her breaking that kind of promise is the fastest way to lose a friend-"
Damien's eyes widened in terror and he motioned for Brew to shut up.
"FOREVER!" Pinkie cried out as she popped out of Damien's satchel. She looked around, taking in Gallus' dropped jaw, Mixed Brew's embarrassed facehoof, and Damien's look of pure terror. "Fluffy-poo!" she cried as she jumped the rest of the way out of the satchel and threw her arms around Damien's neck. "Why did you run away? Can't you see how much I love you?"
Gallus watched in stunned silence as Damien, the usurper and monster he had been told stories about all his life, struggled in vain against the pink pony who, quite literally, had hearts in her eyes.
Seeing that he wasn't going to escape with brute strength alone Damien pointed off in a random direction. "Look! A distraction!"
"Really?! Where? Where? Everypony always points them out to me but I never manage to see them!" Pinkie said as she turned to look where Damien had pointed.
Without missing a beat Damien pulled a glowing gemstone out of his satchel and barked a few harsh words before vanishing in a pulse of darkness; leaving the three ponies to stare at the spot he had so recently vacated.
"Oh ho ho, mi amor. You cannot run away from ze love!" Pinkie said in a prance accent before she bounced away, presumably in pursuit of Damien.
"That was... odd," Gallus finally said, still staring in the direction Pinkie had gone. "Do things like this happen often around here or is it just a side effect of Damien?"
Mixed Brew smiled weakly. "This actually wasn't too weird," she admitted. She couldn't help but giggle at the incredulous look on Gallus' face. "In the last year we've had a dragon grow bigger than a building and ransack the town, a couple ponies acted like super-heroes for a while, one of the princesses visited the town, our librarian drove the entire town insane with a spell, and we had an immortal spirit of chaos and disharmony declare our town the 'Chaos Capitol of the World'. Pinkie chasing someone around because of a love potion barely even registers as weird." She paused for a moment. "Although almost anything weird involving Pinkie Pie gets ignored as 'normal' for her."
"That's... insane. The princess’s visit doesn't sound too bad-"
"She terrified everypony, almost canceled a holiday we've celebrated for a thousand years, and since she had been on the moon for a thousand years she had no idea how to interact with anypony," Brew interjected.
"Right," Gallus said after a moment. "Why do you live here again?" he asked with a slight smile.
Brew chuckled at his smile and cuffed him on the back of the head with a hoof. "There are plenty of reasons to live here," she said, jumping on the first subject they had hit on that hadn't ended with self-conscious silence.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gallus walked into the house with a small smile on his face that grew into a grin when he saw Damien.
"What do you want?" Damien growled as he fished a piece of confetti out of his feathers that matched nearly a thousand other pieces of paper that were stuck to his body. Stuck to his forehead was a large red heart with Pinkie's smiling face emblazoned on it and several other similar objects were plastered to other sections of his body.
"Just enjoying the fact that despite your best efforts you are not invincible," Gallus replied.
"She's Pinkie Pie, she doesn't count," Damien growled. "And there's no way I would have been able to get away with more... decisive actions than running away. But enough about me, how did your date go?"
Gallus ignored the jab, something he found much easier to do with his aggressor covered in paper hearts, and continued to smile. "I did have a good time in the end. I also managed to convince her that it would be pointless to pursue me and that it would be best if we remained friends."
"Yes, because individuals of any species or gender are always reasonable when it comes to matters of the heart, even when they aren't under the influence of a love potion." He peeled a paper heart off his side and winced as several hairs followed it off.
"No, I was quite clear about everything and she was very accepting of it all. It's all over and we're just friends."
"I see. And are you two planning to meet up again anytime in the future to spend some time together as friends?"
"Well yes, we're going to be meeting up at the end of the week for a meal so she can tell me a little more about some of the more exciting things she has seen in Ponyville." Gallus blinked and his eyes suddenly widened as he realized what he had said.
"I may not be the most knowledgeable individual regarding the local customs for courtship but that certainly sounds like what the locals would call a 'date'. Don't you agree?" Damien couldn't help but laugh as he watched Gallus storm off, a laugh that was cut off by a flash of light from the entrance to the room.
"I'm so glad Twilight gave me this," Gilda said as she lowered a camera and turned to flee from her cursing landlord.
Alrighty then. Been a while hasn't it? Between writer's block, my easily distracted nature, classes, my entry for NaNoWriMo, and more damn writer's block it has been far far too long since I put up much of anything 'round here. But hey, apparently I don't completely suck and eventually managed to get something out, even if it ain't that great. Unfortunately for you this doesn't really mark the end of my unofficial hiatus, but the beginning of an official one. Given that the biggest reason for my writer's block was that I wasn't having quite as much fun with this story as I have in the past I'm pretty much hitting pause here and getting rid of that nagging little voice that keeps telling me that I have to write more for Retired instead of doing more with some other things I might be putting up in the near future. That does not mean that this story is dead. I still really want to get Damien to see that time travel isn't a death sentence in Equestria and there's a chapter involving Twilight, Trixie, and Gilda that I want to do at some point as well. I don't know when I'll get back into my writing groove for this story again but I assure you that when I do there won't be such massive gaps between chapters for quite a while. So... yeah. Apologies to all an' stuff but what that's how it is. I'll see you with whatever story I put up next, probably the one with Celestia and a metool.
