Family Matters
“Tomorrow is the day you begin your deception, correct?” Luna asked as she and Damien sat in a memory of the jungles of the Barren Lands sipping tea.
“Yep!” he responded happily. “Just the look on Gilda’s face whenever we started practicing a new line has already made all this worth it. I can’t wait to see how long she manages to keep up the charade.”
“You are enjoying this far too much,” she observed with a pointed look.
“Oh come now Lu! You should know by now that this is the sort of thing I live for! Sure it’s not even half as elaborate as what I had to do to dance free of even Fate’s least inspired plots but it also carries far less risk.”
“You intend to trick one of the most dangerous warriors in one of the most militant griffon city-states. That doesn’t strike us as low risk.”
“Compared to Fate’s plans? This thing is a breeze. Although I never had to deal with such an amateur when doing this sort of thing before, always worked alone or with professionals,” he mused thoughtfully. “How long do you think she’ll manage to keep the charade up?”
“Are you trying to make a bet with us about how quickly your friend will fail in her task?” Luna asked acidly before turning her attention back to the tea. Several minutes passed in silence before she spoke up again. “Two days,” she said off-handedly as she held out her cup of tea for a refill.
Damien smirked as he pulled a teapot out of the air and poured her a new cup. “I think her mother will see through everything by the end of the first day.”
The two sat in silence as they watched the jungle around them swell with life. Strange creatures Luna had never even thought could exist flitted through the trees and even creatures that she was sure she recognized proved her assumptions wrong within moments.
“Why is this place called the barren lands? It hardly seems barren.”
“Heh, not all of it is like this, it has nearly every conceivable environment you can image within its borders. But the real reason for the name is that several thousand years ago a powerful civilization decided to mess with things it wasn’t ready for and tore itself apart in the magical flames of spells gone wrong. The survivors ended up calling their once proud kingdom the barren lands because everything had been destroyed.” He waved talon and several small windows appeared showing various other sections of the continent. “But magic has a way of messing with things. Within a century the continent had been transformed into what it is now, a land of powerful and savage creatures that viciously attack any human, elf, dwarf, or any other outsider without remorse. These days the barren stands for being bereft of civilization.”
Luna looked skeptically at a nearby bird, its long silver tail gleaming in the dim light of the jungle. “We find it hard to believe that this place is as dangerous as you claim it to be,” she scoffed.
Damien smiled and the dreamscape shifted, showing the same bird being stalked by a cat ten times its size. The cat, seeing that its prey hadn’t noticed it leapt silently towards the unprotected neck of the bird. Only to be caught by its long tail mid-jump. The cat gave a pathetic yowl of pain as the tail feathers quickly cocooned it and began to steam. Seconds later the feathers unraveled to drop a bleached skeleton to the ground.
Luna blinked in surprised and gave Damien an accusatory glare. “You are making things up again are you not?”
“This time? No,” he said as he gave the bird a slightly apprehensive look. “The time I spent in the Barren Lands was probably the most dangerous of my life.”
Luna shook her head in wonder as she contemplated the bird before her. For several minutes the only sounds to be heard in the dreamscape were those of the jungle and the faint clinking of teacups. As yet another strange, and likely deadly, creature passed in front of them Luna spoke up again. “Why have you been so receptive to us in the recent weeks?”
Damien raised an eyebrow questioningly but remained silent.
“Ever since we fought Discord at your side you have been more receptive to our presence. You only threaten to kick us out of your dreams on rare occasion instead of every night. You have even adopted a level of informality when speaking to us, even going so far as to refer to us by a nickname.” She lowered her head ruefully. “A level of informality that we seem incapable of making use of ourselves.”
Damien sighed and looked up into the canopy above them. “The Northlands have a tradition known as the Battle Bond. They believe that to truly and wholeheartedly know and trust someone is to fight beside them in battle. You are never stronger or more vulnerable than when you fight alongside others. You have someone to cover your blind spots but also leave them open and ripe for a traitorous blade if your partner is less than virtuous. Doing so shows absolute trust and faith in your allies and shows them the same of you.” He turned his gaze back to her. “Even though I wasn’t myself you did stand beside me against Discord. That sort of thing can change how you see someone.”
Luna smiled warmly, a happy tear in one eye.
Damien’s face suddenly split into a massive grin. “That and I got the opportunity to turn your coat pink. Nothing brings you closer to someone than knowing that they’re an easy mark. Makes me see you as less of a goddess and more of just another immortal.”
Luna glared at the laughing griffon and rolled her eyes. “And we thought we were having a touching moment. It seems we were mistaken,” she grumbled.
“I find taking what you can get works best,” Damien observed as he examined his talons with a grin.
“We suppose that is all we can do when dealing with you,” Luna admitted grudgingly. “It seems dawn approaches.”
“Always hard to tell in here. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow?” Damien asked.
“Indeed.” Luna bowed and melted into a fine purple mist that soon evaporated into nothingness.
Damien let the dreamscape fade into darkness around him. “I guess I better get up now anyway. Don’t want Momma Tyra sneakin’ up on me after all,” he said with a chuckle as closed his eyes and prepared to wake up.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Gilda was a nervous wreck. She had long since finished delivering the day’s mail and was now pacing back and forth in her room. Every sound made her jump and every flash of movement made her flinch. In an attempt to settle her nerves she began to go over the cover story for what felt like the thousandth time. True to Damien’s suggestions they relied on her lack of interest in anything romantic or touchy-feely to keep things simple and vague. This same reasoning allowed them to pretend that no one or almost no one knew about their supposed relationship.
She was well into her third recitation of her backstory when a sharp knocking sounded at her bedroom door. She tensed up and her eyes shrank and slowly moved towards the door. Another knock. It couldn’t be her mom already could it? No… she would have heard Damien greeting her, and her mom probably yelling at him too. Unless she had snuck in. She wouldn’t do that… would she?
“Dammit Gilda, unlock the door and let me in. Your mom’ll be here in five minutes and I figure we’d best be ready for her,” Damien shouted from the other side of the door.
Gilda’s face flushed with embarrassment as she opened the door. “How do you know how long it’ll be?” she asked in an attempt to divert his attention and constant snickering to something that wasn’t at her expense.
“Do you really have to ask that one?” he grinned.
“I thought you weren’t going to use magic while she’s here,” Gilda growled.
“I promised that I wouldn’t use any magic that could be traced back to me. Not that I wouldn’t use it.” He smiled. “Good thing actually speaking the spell and using the sigils isn’t really necessary right?”
“What?” Gilda whispered.
“I can use magic without moving a muscle, takes more energy to cast them that way but it’s possible.”
“Why didn’t you mention that earlier! I don’t want you u-”
“Oh look at the time we should get downstairs and get ready to meet mommy dearest!” he laughed as he quickly slipped out of the room, leaving Gilda to stare in anger at the door before running after him.
<=[XXXXX]=>
Damien’s quick exit led him to the foyer. Gilda’s mother was now close enough for him to get more than a vague sense of her location. With a quick muttered incantation he added the necessary bypasses to the wards guarding the house, best be polite after all and there was no way to know whether or not she would end up triggering some of the automatic defenses if Gilda’s stories were to be believed. Better to simply have them off than try to explain to Gilda why her mother was going to have to leave Ponyville without a few of her limbs.
Gilda managed to reach the foyer mere seconds after he finished and quickly smacked him on the back of the head with an angry talon. “You’re planning to use magic around her aren’t you?” she hissed.
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I doubt I’d be able to get away with much if she’s as good as you claim her to be.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Though you also seem to think you can trick her with this so I guess I might be able to get away with quite a bit…” he mused with a thoughtful smile.
Gilda’s response was cut off by a sharp knock that echoed around the foyer. Her eyes snapped to the source of the noise and a faint sheen of sweat began to appear on her forehead. She cast a quick glance towards Damien, who waved her towards the door with a gleeful twinkle in his eyes. Her glance quickly became a glare as she steeled herself and padded over to the door. She lifted a slightly shaking talon and carefully placed it on the door.
Tyra blew into the house like a hurricane, only with fewer corpses and marginally less property damage. “Gilda!” she cried as she wrapped her daughter in massive hug. “It’s so good to see you again! Let me get a look at you!” she said happily as she placed a talon on each of her daughter’s shoulders and leaned back. “Good, it looks like you’ve been eating well and exercising. I was afraid you’d started to get lazy away from my training sessions! Glad I was wrong though, finding you a mate is hard enough without you going soft!”
“M-Mom!” Gilda cried as a red hot blush engulfed her face. “You don’t need to set me up with anyone!” She paused a moment as she tried to remember the plans she had drawn up with Damien. “I… Actually I already have a boyfriend.”
Tyra looked down at her daughter in surprise. “You do? A boyfriend?” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “It’s not one of those pansy ponies is it? Most of them wouldn’t know a good right hook if smacked them upside the head.” She paused a moment as a thought struck her. “Though I did see a pretty good looking stallion on my way over, big red earther, legs as thick as trees and a flank that would impress the gods.”
“No! I mean… he’s a griffin.” She stepped back and directed her mother’s attention to where Damien stood. “Mom, meet Damien. Damien, my mom Tyra.”
Tyra snorted as she walked further into the house and began to inspect Damien. “He’s a bit scrawny,” she observed. “Good eyes though,” she said as the two of them stared each other down, neither one blinking or moving an inch.
As Tyra continued to study him, Damien made some observations of his own. His first impression was that Tyra was big. He had been used to standing slightly over people back home and in Equestria he was a good bit taller than the average pony. Some like Big Mac could still look over him but they were few and far between. Tyra seemed to be on a whole different scale. She towered over him and seemed to be made of nothing but muscle. He could see the faint marks of old scars and long healed wounds beneath some patches of fur and a large jagged half-healed crack ran down the one side of her beak. She shared her daughter’s coloration, or rather her daughter shared hers, but her eyes were a piercing red and hard as steel. His observations were brought to an abrupt end when Tyra spoke up again.
“No.”
Gilda blinked in confusion and Damien smiled. “No?” she asked. “No what?”
“I don’t approve of him. Doesn’t look like he could fight his way through a pack of newborn cubs. Find a new boyfriend,” Tyra said offhandedly as she turned back to face her daughter. “You deserve someone strong. Stronger than me preferably.”
Gilda shot Damien a pleading look and he grinned. “And how do you know I’m not?”
“Excuse me?” Tyra raised an eyebrow questioningly, her stance slowly becoming more aggressive.
“How do you know I can’t already beat you within an inch of your life and back?” he challenged.
Tyra stared at him for several moments before laughing loudly. “Ha! Maybe I misjudged you! Let’s settle this then. Right here and right now.”
“I’d prefer it be done outside, don’t want to destroy my house after all.”
Tyra shot her daughter a look and muttered, “you’ll explain this one later.” Turning her gaze back to Damien she nodded. “Outside then, I passed over a field between here and the forest that should work.”
“Excellent. I usually give those I’m dueling an hour to notify next of kin and get their affairs in order, but since Gilda is already here I suggest we simply stop by a nearby lawyer to draw up your will first.”
For the first time since she had been introduced to him Tyra smiled. “Cheeky little bastard aren’t you? I like that.”
<=[XXXXX]=>
“Now Gilda, it ain’t that I don’t trust ya but-” Applejack started to say before Gilda held up a tired talon.
“Don’t bother, I don’t think I can do anything to stop this.”
“Just promise me those two ain’t gonna let this spill over into the orchard,” she said as she gave Damien and Tyra a pained look.
Gilda turned to Applejack with an apologetic look in her eye. “I’ll do my best,” she promised, trying to put up a strong front for the distraught farmer. "Besides, he's not going to be using his magic," she muttered. "So you won't have to worry about... whatever it is he would do otherwise."
Applejack looked slightly less concerned at this news but still looked on in trepidation.
Several dozen yards away Damien and Tyra were looking each other over, looking for any obvious openings in the other’s guard. A casual observer could be forgiven for thinking they were nothing more than lifelike statues based on how little they were moving.
“Ain’t ya supposed to tell them to start or somthin’?” Applejack asked cautiously, slowly becoming unnerved by the feeling in the air between the two immobile combatants.
“No, they’ve already started,” Gilda replied, her eyes locked on the scene in front of her. “Only an idiot would just charge right into a fight against either of those two.
“Ah seem to recall Twi saying you did somethin’ like that a while back with Damien,” Applejack chortled in an attempt to relieve the tension.
“Like I said, an idiot,” she grumbled back.
Applejack was saved from continuing by a burst of movement in field before them. Both Damien and Tyra had shot forward at the same time, charging low along the ground and covering the intervening distance in the blink of an eye. Tyra started in with a savage swipe of her talons, aiming right at Damien’s face but he simply slid out of the way and brought a clenched fist upwards towards her exposed beak.
However she was ready for his counterattack and twisted her neck around, evading the blow with ease. Her dodge quickly turned into a counter-attack as she opened her beak and her head shot forward like a striking snake, aiming for Damien’s wrist. Yet as quick as she was Damien was faster and retracted his hand with a snap of his wings that took him out of her reach.
“You’re faster than I expected,” he said with a smirk. “Everyone I’ve met here so far probably would have been knocked out by that one.”
Tyra merely smiled and flapped her wings, launching herself into the air. Damien quickly followed suit and the two were soon circling each other warily. Without warning Tyra launched herself at him with a speed far surpassing that she had demonstrated on the ground. They clashed in in midair, bowling Damien over and locking each other in close combat. The ground roared towards them as their limbs blurred in a flurry of motion. Both combatants lashed out at the each other, each blow was just barely turned aside and followed by a counterattack.
Scant yards from the ground they split apart and flung their wings open to turn their respective suicide dives into a glide. The two landed several dozen yards from each other and turned towards each other to see how their opponent fared. Damien was sporting a long thin cut along his side that was oozing blood and Tyra had similar cuts on both forelimbs.
Both Applejack and Gilda stared on in silent amazement at the spectacle before them, although for different reasons.
“Lan’ sakes…” Applejack breathed. “Ah thought they were gonna kill themselves before all this was over.”
“Over?” Gilda chuckled in an attempt to hide her nervousness. “That was their warm-up.”
Applejack turned to the griffon with disbelieving eyes. “Yer not serious…” She turned back to see the combatants smiling at each other.
“It’s been a long time since I had such a thorough warm up. Almost as long as it’s been since someone actually managed to draw blood on me,” Tyra said with a grin as she flexed her wings murderously.
“Same here. I’ve only run into one other creature with the means and desire to cause me harm since I’ve come here. You have the honor of being the second,” Damien remarked.
The two shared a hearty laugh and almost seemed to have forgotten the fight. Until they both flashed into movement again. Tyra leapt into the air and swept mere inches from the ground, making use of her superior air speed to close in on Damien in a flash that would have done Rainbow Dash proud.
Damien, however, remained on the ground, flapping his wings once to lift himself on his hind legs and flaring them to keep his balance as he shifted into a strange two legged stance with both talons held in front of himself. Tyra was thrown off by his unorthodox stance and hesitated for a fraction of a second before shifting to strike out at his exposed underbelly, a strike that he was planning on her taking. As her claws approached his stomach he twisted to the side and grabbed her outstretched forelimb. Allowing Tyra’s momentum to carry her forward he pulled her forelimb towards himself and placed another talon on her shoulder. He finished his spin by driving all his weight into her shoulder and slamming the surprised griffon into the ground beak first.
He was about to lash out at her locked arm, intending to shatter her elbow when her wing snapped out and sent him sprawling to the side. He didn’t stop to assess the situation from where he landed; opting instead to roll immediately off to the side in time to evade another of Tyra’s piercing strikes. The ground where Damien had been laying was easily torn apart by her claws and looked as though someone had decided to plow only a tiny section of the field. Relying entirely on the sense of her presence he lashed out with a savage kick that slammed into her side that pushed her back several feet leaving a trio of cuts along her side.
She didn’t even bother to check her wounds as she shifted into a lower stance and glared suspiciously at Damien. For his part Damien had gotten back up and returned to his strange two legged stance, once again exposing his underbelly to his opponent. He smiled as beckoned her to come forward once more, going so far as to gesture at his stomach with a grin. Tyra shot forward with a growl, once again aiming straight for his stomach, only to flare her wings and shoot straight up at the last second, her frontal assault quickly turning into a reckless divebomb.
Damien’s grin never faltered as he twirled on one foot, handily avoiding Tyra’s dive while grabbing a passing wing. With a sharp yank he pulled her forward into his waiting fist, eliciting a loud and sickening crack from her ribs. To her credit Tyra didn’t even wince as she flew through the air away from Damien's balled up talon.
She slowly stood back up and watched Damien slowly shift into yet another unusual stance, her eyes slowly moving over his body as she contemplated her next move. With slow deliberate movements she ran a talon over her chest and suppressed a wince as she felt that her ribs bend more than was healthy. Without warning her beak suddenly split into a massive grin. “About time Gilda fell for someone with a little fire! When’s the wedding?”
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i want this to be REAL but its not REAL its just a Ruse but its awsome
Loving the story by each chapter
More overlording evil magic stuff later on in the story?
Otherwise very good
Wedding , Strange Shipping is strange
417547
Heh. I'm seeing a "bachelorette party" that has Damien and Gilda waking up afterwards in the same nest with a marriage license signed by Celestia sitting in front of them.
Ohhhh... this is good.
Yes... that's got to be one of the best ending lines Ive read in a fanfic.
THIS MUST BECOME REAL! Nah, Damien is too boss for that, or perhaps he toys with her? How much of an "I know I'm above you, I just don't show it other than being witty" type of person is he?
Hmm, I would suggest NOTHING! Because you are a brilliant writer who needs no more guidance.
I can see so many wonderful ways this could go wrong...
And now things start getting interesting.
Awesome. I'm also curious about the wedding. Will Mr. Waddle be presiding over the ceremony?
Hm...wedding..will Luna break this up :)?
Many times each chapter I can't help but think that Damien could his life a whole lot easier if just transformed himself a mane. Though that might make things a little harder for him if Tyra saw that...
mother in-laws are bad enough but one with talons and sharp beak damn
"I suggest we simply stop by a nearby lawyer to draw up you will first." - Did you mean your? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Mr_Cake.png
"before Gila held up a tired talon."
"before Gilda held up a tired talon"
A nice scenario.
Gilda x transdimensional shapeshifting evil alien overlord!
Am I gonna have to bust out the cornered theme?
At the end of the chapter were you thinking this?
imageshack.us/a/img35/2812/bjroq.jpg
Woohoo wedding YAAAAAA
Hehehe