Sequel to My Little Portal 2 - Celestial Science. GLaDOS once swore she would never oped the folder named 'Project Equestria', but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Based off of My Little GLaDOS. Sequel to My Little Portal 2 - Celestial Science. GLaDOS once swore she would never open the folder named 'Project Equestria', but desperate times called for desperate measures. GLaDOS and Wheatly are now ponies with the CMC, and have to live in Ponyville without Aperture Science. What could go wrong?
GLaDOS lay on the floor of her chambers, listening to the screaming of the three mares that were currently falling into a pit.
"This reminds me of the good old days. It was just me, you, and Chell. No insane ponies or magic. That was fun, wasn't it?" And he rambled on for hours! It was driving GLaDOS insane. Not only that, but he's destroying the entire facility! Again! The place was going to explode any minute. She had to do something. Something she would later regret...
"You are going to get us all killed." She told him.
"Says the one who let herself get defeated so easily."
"Say what you like, just do NOT look at Project Equestria." She told him. Reverse psychology. It will work so easily on this moron.
"Project Equestria eh? Sounds interesting..."
"Please, don't!" I'm going to regret this...
"What kind of trick is this? It's empty!" He hissed.
"I wouldn't say that." There was a bright flash, and they were all gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wheatly woke up in a beautiful meadow.
"Oh, so this is what it's like to be dead..." He said to himself out loud.
"We are not dead, you moron. This is Project Equestria." GLaDOS told him.
"You! This is your fault!" He snapped.
"How is it my fault? I told you not to open that folder. Project Equestria is a folder that will send everyone in Aperture Science to Equestria, and turns them into ponies. But since we were already in Equestria, we just got turned into ponies and teleported to some random place." She explained.
"You used reverse psychology."
"And it worked."
"So you're telling me that having me in charge was so awful, that you would rather be a pony."
"Yes. And the place was about to blow up."
"Hey, i'm alive! And I can talk..." A light orange unicorn said.
"Oh no..." GLaDOS sighed.
"GLaDOS? You're a pony? This is priceless!" She said, laughing.
"Silence you supposed-to-be-mute lunatic!" She snapped.
"Oh my god Wheatly is a pony too. I wish I had my camera because this is hilarious!" Wheatly face-hoofed.
"Has anyo- anypony *chuckle* seen the three mares that were last seen falling down a pit?" Wheatly asked, and Chell stared at him.
"What?"
"We had an odd case of dejavu..." GLaDOS said.
"Wheatly needs anger management."
"No, I do not need anger management..."
"You clearly need help, you freak out if someone so much as thinks the word moron, and you make people fall into pits. Those are obvious signs that you need help." Chell told him.
"I liked you better when you had your vocal cords cut out." He hissed.
"That's hurtful."
"Well that's kind of what I was aiming for..."
"Hey, you have wings!" Chell pointed out.
"..."
"Alright, so we now know that Chell is actually a bipolar idiot." GLaDOS said.
"Hey, it's Wheatly!" He heard Applebloom shout. Oh no...
"Wheatly! I fell into a pool of acid at the bottom of that pit!" Sweetiebelle snapped.
"Fascinating. How'd you survive?" He asked half sarcastically, half curiously.
"I didn't."
"Oh.... Creepy." He told her.
"What was death like?" GLaDOS asked. Chell slapped her in the face.
"Not a good question to ask." She told the black unicorn.
"There are no bad questions, my dear." GLaDOS replied.
"Who the hay are you?" Scootaloo asked Chell.
"My name is Chell."
"Scootaloo. Nice to meet you.
"I'm Applebloom."
"I'm Sweetiebelle."
"Nice to meet you all." Chell said.
"Wait a minute, I recognize this place. It's right by Sweet Apple Acres." Applebloom said.
"Good, we can steal food from your family and sleep there." Wheatly said.
"I thought you were a core, and cores don't eat." Chell asked.
"Well now i'm a pony, so deal with it."
"Wheatly, ya can't steal from mah family!" Applebloom snapped.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because it's wrong!" He rolled his eyes.
"I have an idea! Since Wheatly stupidly freed all of the test subjects, your princes will be free. All we need to do is request an audience with her, and maybe she can send us back to earth." GLaDOS suggested.
"Good plan." Wheatly said, taking a bite out of some grass. "AHHHHG. That's disgusting. Why do you ponies eat that stuff?" He asked.
"Actually, we prefer hay. Why did you eat grass in the first place?" Sweetiebelle asked.
"I was curious what it tastes like." He replied. Scootaloo shook her head.
"Alright, so we have a moron, an insane AI, two ponies who should be dead right now, and one of them should be mute. I'd say we're an interesting bunch." Scootaloo said.
"I am NOT a moron!" He snapped.
"Right..." Scootaloo said sarcastically. Applebloom sighed.
"Let's just go to Sweet Apple Acres. AND NO MORE ARGUING!" Applebloom told them, and started to walk away.
Sweet Apple Acres looked mostly the same, considering it had been quite a few years since Applebloom had last been there. Granny Smith was sitting in her rocking chair on the porch of the old farmhouse, and Big Macintosh was bucking apple trees when the group of ponies got there.
"Alright everypony, let's go over the rules once more. No death threats, no threats at all for that matter. No burning the house down with lemons... I'm looking at you, GLaDOS. No fires. No hurting ponies. And no stealing. Any questions?" Applebloom asked, and GLaDOS' hoof shot up. "No, you are not aloud to use Neurotoxin." She lowered her hoof. "If ya'll follow those rules, Ah think you'll get along with mah family just fine." Applebloom said.
"She didn't say no explosives." GLaDOS whispered, causing Wheatly to chuckle.
"YOU BLEW UP MAH HOUSE?" Applebloom yelled at GLaDOS.
"If you did not want me to use explosives, you should have said so. No one was hurt, I did not burn your house down, and I did not kill anyone." She replied.
"YOU IDIOT! THE WHOLE ORCHARD IS AN FIRE NOW!"
"I'm not an idiot, i'm a scientist."
"Um, girls?" Sweetiebelle began.
"Scientist? You call this science?!"
"Girls...."
"Yes, it is science."
"GIRLS!"
"What?" Applebloom snapped.
"The royal guard is here."
"I'M INNOCENT!" Scoots yelled and jumped into a bush.
"So, you are telling me that the AI that my subjects built, is really an evil robot from another planet?" Celestia asked.
"Uh huh." Applebloom confirmed.
"And this Chell is also from another planet, and is actually something called a human?"
"Actually, Wheatley said that."
"And Wheatly is also from another planet?"
"Yup."
"On any other day, I would think you are insane, but this AI captured me and forced me to do ridiculous tests, so I believe you."
"So, not that I don't like this wonderful planet- Who am I kidding, I hate it here. Can you send us back?" Wheatley asked.
"Hold on a moment, how do I know I can trust you?" Celestia asked.
"Err, I have a trustworthy look?" He said jokingly.
"No. I just need to make sure you are not leaving anything out. I'm going to perform a simple spell that will look into your memories."
"Whoa, sorry to burst your bubble, but I would prefer you not look into my memories." GLaDOS told her.
"I'm sorry GLaDOS, but I need to do this." Celestia touched her horn to GLaDOS' forehead, first performing a sleep spell so she did not get hurt by an unwilling unicorn, then performing the memory spell. It only took a second, but it left Celestia stunned.
"Haha, look at GLaDOS she's drooling." Wheatley pointed out.
"Alright, that was horrifying." Celestia said.
"Gee princess, I know GLaDOS is ugly, but you don't need to be so rude." Wheatly was then slapped in the back of the head by Chell.
"Wheatley, be silent. It's your turn." Celestia said.
"No thanks, I prefer to keep my memories to myself." He told her. Celestia approached him. He panicked and tried to run, only to be caught by Celestia's magic. He struggled to escape but was put to sleep by Celestia. She then looked into his memories.
"Alright, I know what i'm going to do with these two." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, why did we let them take GLaDOS and Wheatley to the dungeon?" Sweetiebelle asked.
"They deserved it." Scootaloo said.
"That Celestia is a fool. GLaDOS will end up blowing the whole castle up!" Chell exclaimed.
"Well, let's sit back and watch the show." Applebloom said, and as if on cue, the Canterlot Castle blew up behind them.
"Sounds like they're doing just fine..." Scootaloo said, and walked away.
Scootaloo, Sweetiebelle, and Applebloom were helping the Apple family rebuild their house, when an angry GLaDOS showed up.
"I HATE YOU ALL!" She screamed.
"Hello to you too." Scootaloo said. GLaDOS' hair was singed, and she had a lot of cuts and bruises on her.
"Why did you let them put me in the dungeon?" She asked.
"You kind of deserved it. Trying to kill us and all." Sweetiebelle told her.
"What about him? I was trapped down there, having to listen to his non stop talking. IT WAS HORRIBLE!"
"Where is Wheatley, anyways?" Applebloom asked the infuriated GLaDOS.
"Don't know, don't care. Hopefully he is dead."
"I'm not dead, you witch!" Wheatley appeared behind her.
"Oh. That's a shame." GLaDOS told him.
"So, why did you blow up Canterlot Castle?" Scootaloo asked.
"I couldn't stand to be around him any longer." She replied.
"So you had ta blow it up?" Applebloom questioned.
"Yes. There was no other option." GLaDOS answered.
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"..."
"What?"
"Girls, make sure she doesn't have anymore explosives. And new rule, no blowing stuff up or using explosives." Applebloom said.
"Awwww." GLaDOS and Wheatley both whined.
"No whining!" Applebloom snapped. "Now, since we can't have ya'll running around causing trouble, Chell will be staying at mah house,GLaDOS with Sweetie, and Wheatley with Scootaloo. Something about teaching you how to fly." Wheatley gulped loudly. "Now, everypony go home. Ah don't want two certain ponies to cause anymore trouble around here."
"Us, trouble?" GLaDOS asked dramatically.
"Never!" Wheatley finished.
"It's weird. Sometimes those two want o kill each other, other times they act like best friends." Scootaloo pointed out.
"Yep. Oh, right. Remember, Wheatley and GLaDOS are probably Equestria's most wanted right now, so don't let the royal guard get them." Applebloom said.
"Why not?" Sweetie asked.
"They will probably be killed on the spot. And I mean GLaDOS and Wheatley, or the royal guard." The farm mare replied.
"Oh. Yea, I can see that happening."
"Yep."
GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?
"Alright Wheatley, are you ready to learn to fly?" Scootaloo asked.
"NO!" He shrieked. They were standing on a cliff, with a fifteen hundred hoof drop to the bottom.
"We're going to start with a glide. Spread your wings."
"Ok..."
"And keep them just like that..." She suddenly pushed him off of the cliff. He screamed. A lot. Scootaloo followed him.
"What are you screaming for? You're doing it!"
"YOU PUSHED ME OFF A CLIFF!" He yelled.
"How else was I going to get you to jump off?" She asked him.
"..."
"Good! Now to steer, lean to the side slightly- NOT THAT MUCH! Ok, good... now try flapping your wings... I SAID FLAP YOUR WINGS NOT FALL!" She dove after him, catching him mid air.
"Try again. I'm going to let down in 3... BYE!" He screamed some more, but this time he actually spread his wings. "Okay, try flapping again. There you go! Alright, now just glide down to the bottom. Good. Now, fly back up to the top."
"WHAT?"
"You heard me."
"But-"
"Just do it, quit being a baby!" He reluctantly started flapping his wings. He got a whole five feet before falling again. Scootaloo face-hoofed. "You have to actually keep going if you want to reach the top." She told him.
"Well, i'm sorry I've never flown before." He tried again, getting a little bit higher.
"Come on Wheatley, I have all day we are staying here until you reach the top." Scootaloo said. He just groaned, and tried again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Okay GLaDOS, here are the rules. No touching my sisters stuff, no going into my sisters room, no stealing, no fires, all the stuff Applebloom said... Your room is the storage room and... No using sharp objects." Sweetiebelle said.
"I can't even use forks?"
"You can use spoons."
"..."
"Now, this is my room. Wow, it's been so many years. And here's my Cutie Mark Crusaders cape!" Sweetiebelle excitedly looked at all of her old toys, and GLaDOS snuck off to the storage room. She needed to work on making a portal gun, if she wanted to keep testing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let me introduce you to mah family, Chell! This is mah brother, Big Macintosh, and this is mah granny, Granny Smith." Applebloom said to Chell.
"Nice to meet you all Oh god more ponies..." Chell said.
"Nice to meet ya, too." Big mac said.
"Eh, what?" Granny Smith asked. Applebloom smiled.
"Come on Wheatley, just a few more hooves and you'll be at the top. Don't give me that look! There! You're at the top. That wasn't so hard, was it?" Scootaloo asked. Wheatley collapsed on the ground, and started to kiss it.
"Oh sweet ground, i'll never leave you again." He said. And then fifty of the royal guard showed up.
"FLY WHEATLEY, FLY!" Scootaloo yelled. He sighed, and took to the air. "Look, none of them are pegasi! We might just be able to escape." Scootaloo said.
"Why no pegasi?" He asked.
"Well, let's think about where they last were. Canterlot Castle, which is now a pile of rubble. I'm guessing they went down with it." Scoots replied. "Quick, let's go find Applebloom at Sweet Apple Acres!"
GLaDOS and Wheatley were put in hoofcuffs, and were guarded by three guards each.
"Everypony sit down." Celestia ordered. They all obeyed. "Earlier today, Canterlot Castle was blown to pieces. Care to explain how that happened?" GLaDOS glanced around nervously.
"HE DID IT!" She pointed an accusing hoof at Wheatley.
"I meant the truth." Celestia told her.
"I did it..." GLaDOS said quietly.
"And why?
"Because I like being in charge..."
"And that meant you had to blow up Canterlot Castle?"
"Yes...." Celestia glared at her.
"5,000 ponies died in that explosion. I just want you to think on that."
"Cool! I mean- That's too bad..."
"Princess, I know GLaDOS deserves to be punished, but what did Wheatley do?" Scootaloo inquired.
"I'm glad you asked. Wheatley, is it true that you beat one of the guards with a brick because he called you a moron?" Celestia asked him.
"I refuse to answer that." He told her.
"Oh really?" Trollestia.
"Uh huh."
"Captain Ironside, can you please give me that Taser? Thanks." Followed by a lot of yelling.
"OKAY YES I DID DO IT!" Wheatley confessed.
"Thank you for cooperating." Celestia told him. "And I think I know what to do with you" *Evil grin*
"I'm going to cast a spell on both of you so you can't harm anypony physically." Celestia said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" GLaDOS screamed. Celestia glared at her.
"Are you finished?"
"Yes..."
"Good. Now hold still."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Silence, or I will also cast a silencing spell."
"..."
"Good." Celestia's horn began to glow, and GLaDOS and Wheatley felt a slight tingling feeling. "Okay, i'm done."
"But princess, why didn't you just put them in jail?" Applebloom asked.
"I fear they would blow that up as well. But never fear, i'm working on the spell to send them back to where they came from." Sighs of relief came from the three mares. After Celestia left, GLaDOS started crying.
"That tyrant destroyed my Neurotoxin generator!" She sobbed.
"I leave you alone for twenty minutes, and you manage to build a Neurotoxin generator?" Sweetiebelle asked.
"What did you expect me to test with? At least she didn't find my Portal gun." GLaDOS replied.
"Me and you are going to have a talk about your actions." Sweetie told her.
"It will be so nice to be in control again." Wheatley said.
"What are you talking about? I'm the only one who knows how to run the place without blowing it up!" GLaDOS snapped.
"Are you two really going to do this right now?" Sweetiebelle asked.
"Better they do it here and not a place with weapons." Scootaloo said. "Oh wait, they can't hurt anypony anyways!" She chuckled. They went down in the elevator, which brought them to GLaDOS' chamber.
" Alright, not to alarm anyone, but we're still ponies." Wheatley pointed out. GLaDOS glared at him.
"You think I didn't notice?" She hissed.
"Looks like the position as central core is already taken." Scootaloo said. There was a core, with a yellow eye.
"Space. Space. Wanna go to space. Wanna see the moon. Wanna go to space." It said.
"Oh no..." Wheatley groaned.
"How did that thing even get in control in the first place?" GLaDOS asked.
"Wanna see the stars. Wanna go to space. 'Hey dad!' 'Hey son!' 'I'm gonna go to space when I grow up!' 'That's great son!'" The space core said.
"Where's the mute button?" Sweetiebelle whined.
"Space! Space! SPACEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Somepony shut that thing up!" Scootaloo cried. Applebloom pulled out an ipod and put some headphones on her ears and started humming.
"Okay, I can fix this!" Wheatley said and flew up to the space core, trying to pull it off of GLaDOS' old body.
"Stop it, you moron! You might break something!" GLaDOS snapped.
"I'm not a moron!" He yelled, and yanked the space core off of the body.
"Good job. You broke it." She moaned sarcastically.
"SPACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"You aren't going to space, mate!" Wheatley snapped.
"Anypony smell Neurotoxin?" Sweetie asked.
"There must be a leak." GLaDOS told them.
"Isn't that dangerous?" Scootaloo asked.
"Only if a lot of it-" GLaDOS started to say, but was interrupted.
"WARNING: Neurotoxin has reached dangerously high levels." A voice said.
"All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, put your hooves up!" Applebloom sang, completely oblivious to what was happening.
"We're doomed."
I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon...
They all watched Aperture science burn the the ground in silence. GLaDOS just stared at it. Not moving. Not blinking. Heck, I don't think she was even breathing. When it was all gone, she casually walked off of a cliff.
"Well, I had hoped this would turn out better." Sweetie said.
"Yup." Wheatley said.
"True, but I think we've all had a good time. The mane six died, we did a ton of pointless tests, Wheatley turned insane again, him, Chell, and GLaDOS turned into ponies, GLaDOS jumped off of a cliff, I wrote this book..." Scootaloo said.
"What?" Sweetie asked.
"Nothing!" Scoots replied nervously.
"Baby tonightttttttt! The DJ got us fallin' in love again!" Applebloom sang.
"That gives me an idea. Applebloom, do you have the music to Gangnam Style without the lyrics?" Scootaloo asked.
Floating in space, Because Wheatley's really stupid, HEY Crap I made him mad, So I hope he doesn't kill us. GLaDOS jumped off a cliff, But i'm sure she's still alive, Because she just wont die!
Put a portal here! And then go put that cube, on that button. Emancipation grid! Move onto next test chamber, and complete it! Don't fall in acid, While you're in there!
Oh hello again, You want more tests, then, here you go! Don't be so slow! Turrets ready, Hold your portal gun steady, Companion Cube! Oh wait it's dead... Because you incinerated it...!
Testing GLaDOS Style!
GLaDOS style!
Test- Test- Test- Test- Testing GLaDOS style!
GLaDOS Style!
Test- Test- Test- Test- Testing GLaDOS Style!
HEYYYYYY SEXY TURRET!
Test- test- test- test- Testing GLaDOS style!
HEYYYYYY SEXY TURRET!
Test- test- test- test-
Drifting through space, Listening to Applebloom's ipod. Hey look on the moon, I think that is Princess Luna. I'm getting really hungry... How are we even still alive? BECAUSE WE'RE IN SPAACE!
It's really cold up here! Oh crap we're drifting towards the sun, Now it's really hot, This is really bad... I think the ipod is dying... Yes it is!
We're in deep trouble... Applebloom why do you have a shovel? I'm so confused. HEY, Is that GLaDOS? No. That's good, cause she was mean! And she didn't know, That Sweetiebelle glows! It's really cool too bad she can't see it now!
Testing GLaDOS style. GLaDOS style.
Test- test- test- test- Testing GLaDOS style!
GLaDOS style!
Test- test- test- test- And the batteries dead. Dang it Applebloom why didn't you replace them?
END!
"Wait a second! If we're in space, how are we breathing?" Scootaloo asked. And they all died.
