Dethklok, the world most popular death metal band ends up in Equestria. What the f***.
Two months after Tank Dempsey and Nikolai Berlinski came to Equestria for a few days, five new humans came. They were, in their universe, one of the most popular, actually the most popular Death Metal Band in the world. Their fame knew no bounds and people sacrificed themselves for them. They are DETHKLOK!!! Rated mature for graphic gore and some sexual situations.
Luna was pacing back and forth in the evening light. Discord had told her that five humans would be here, but he never told anything beyond that. Were they dangerous? Were they even from where the two humans that were here two months ago, from? Are they male, female or a mix of the two?
Celestia noticed her sister's worries, and walked up to her. "Luna, what's wrong?"
"Two months ago, at that party, Discord told me that five more would be coming, but he never told me who."
"Five more humans?"
"Yes, Tia."
"Hmmm... Let me talk to him, okay."
"Very well sister."
And Celestia went go to find Discord. Are you lying Discord, or are you really telling the truth? And why the sudden change of heart?
Sitting down on the couch was five humans. One had long flowing blond hair, was tall and skinny, had blue eyes, and for some reason, playing scales on his Gibson Guitar constantly. Another one was a redhead man with dreadlocks, yellow-green eyes, and a styled beard-mustache combo. He had a bottle of Jack in one hand, and a drumstick in another. One was a heavyset man with a thick mustache, thick hair, a gap in between his teeth, and green eyes, and was reading a pornography magazine. There was also a man with pale blue eyes, a brown Fu Manchu mustache and long flowing hair. Finally, there was a heavy built man. He had green eyes, and long, black hair, with a good portion hanging in front of his right shoulder. A man with a business appearance and glasses confronts the five men.
"Okay guys, we have to get to the concert soon, so follow me, and we'll be there. Oh, and Pickles, no drinking."
"Okay, let's get ready to put on a show of metal proportions." Said Nathan Explosion, the band's frontman and singer.
"I ams ready to plays the guitars nows." said Skwisgaar Skwigelf, the band's lead guitarist.
"Fine! I wasn't at the good part anyway." Said William Murderface, the band's bassist.
"Okays, let's go plays some metals." Said Toki Wartooth, the band's rhythm guitarist.
"Wait, no drinking?" asked Pickles, the band's drummer.
"Yes, no drinking Pickles, remember what happened last time?" Said Charles Foster Ofdensen, the band's manager and lawyer.
"Fine, I'll drink after the show."
"Let's just go now, okay?"
The rest of the band agreed and left for the concert. Not knowing that they would not be going straight home after this concert.
It had been two months since Fluttershy and Rarity had told their friends and families that they were in love and now were on a date at a restaurant. Rarity was in an elegant dress worthy of a pony of her class, with a lime stitching and blue cloth, it was a magnificent dress. Fluttershy had on a dress made by her marefriend, it was pink dress, stylized so that the back would be exposed and had green stitching. It was also magnificent for a mare of such natural beauty.
"I really like this place Rarity. It is so calming."
"Of course Fluttershy, It is wonderful. But not as much as you."
"Oh Rarity." Fluttershy could not hold back her blush, but she smiled nonetheless.
Rarity then moved in closer to her lover's ear. "Tomorrow night is our six month anniversary. I would like to come to your cottage to, give you something special."
Fluttershy thought about it and put a hoof over her mouth. "Are you sure, I mean, this is a big thing you are asking for, Rarity."
"Fluttershy, if you are uncomfortable, then we can just wait."
"Oh no, it's just... I don't know if I'll be good..."
"Why do you think that?"
"I'm, uh, a virgin."
Rarity smiled at what she heard. That's my naive Fluttershy, worrying about her first time. "Oh darling, I'm a virgin too. But your first time should be something special, and with you..." Rarity moved closer to Fluttershy, "It is."
Fluttershy looked at her now empty plate for a few seconds and said, "Alright, but umm, be gentle."
"Of course, my love." Rarity kissed Fluttershy and paid the check. Then came a familiar, if somewhat sickly face.
"Applejack! How are you feeling?" Rarity had been worried sick about Applejack ever since she underwent Leukemia treatment.
"Just dandy, especially since mah blood had been replaced outright."
"Oh, don't be so sour Applejack, you'll have your strength back soon. I can grantee it."
"Well, alright. The doctor said Ah have to rest for a few days before working again. And really rest during those days, as in not getting out of bed except for... you know what."
Rarity nodded in understanding and said, "You have a good evening Applejack. Get better for us, will you."
"Thanks Rares, Goodnight." She turned to Fluttershy. "Goodnight Fluttershy."
"Goodnight Applejack."
Applejack went off and the couple went to their homes and were practicably anticipating tomorrow.
"Concert is in 15 minutes, you guys ready?" asked Charles.
"Yeah." answered Nathan.
"Yes." answered William.
"Totallys ready." answered Toki.
"I'm ready." answered Pickles.
"I ams ready." answered Skwisgaar.
"Good, knock ''em dead guys. Though, not literally." said Charles
"Shut up and let us finish." answered Nathan.
"Okay." Charles then left the band to themselves.
"Hey, Nathans. You thinks that our dildos fan are goings to likes this gimmick?" asked Skwisgaar.
"They f***ing better. We are paying good money for this s***."
The five bandmates put their corpse facepaint on for the show. Thousands of fans were there, waiting for the music to begin.
"Alright Douchebags, It's time to begin this concert! And if you don't know who we are, why are you here?"
The klokateers were making sure that the show was perfect. They were loyal to the band until the very end.
The band put on a light show to make the show more epic, but something was wrong. The music was causing the lights to malfunction, causing them to activate in an unusual way. They became a teleportation device. As so as Dethklok ended their song, they disappeared off the face of the Earth. From a computer screen, Ofdensen was watching the show. He only had one thing to say about what happened.
"Oh no..."
Twilight was just about to wrap up with work when all of a sudden!
CRACK!
"AHH! Wait, I know that sound."
She rushed outside and saw five unconscious men, laying on the ground.
Ofdensen was now worried that his so called 'bread and butter' was gone. He was trying everything he could to find the band. He approached #115 to talk to him about the search.
"How's the search going?"
"Not well, sire."
"Very well, get back to work."
"Yes sire."
Maybe I should tell the authorities that they are gone. But then he realized something. No, then we'll lose customers because of suicides, and that would mean lost profits. Charles was in a deep hole now.
-3 weeks later-
The Tribunal was in it's conference room when they heard of Dethklok's disapperance through the news.
"Gentlemen, it appears Dethklok has disappeared through unknown means." Senator Stampingston started, "This could have a catastrophic effect on the general population and will lead to overall chaos and destruction."
General Crozier then spoke up, "With Dethklok gone, thousands, if not millions of people will destroy countless property and kill others and themselves, wanting the safe return of them."
"Yes, and so with that I introduce the specialist on celebrity disappearances, Dmitri Chenovgov-Valdinski XVII."
The man then spoke with a distinct Slavic accent, "Gentlemen, as long as the celebrities in particular are found within weeks of their disappearance, the fans will buy more of the kidnappees' merchandise to support the search. But if they are not found by then, people will start to riot and kill others. It is the actual underlying cause of the Russian Revolution of 1917, when a great nationalist composer was kidnapped, and never found."
"This would mean that the end is coming if Dethklok isn't found!" Said Vater Orlaag.
"We must wait for them to come back," Started Mr. Selatcia, "They will be back soon."
And with that, the meeting was adjourned.
-3 weeks earlier-
Twilight had put all of the humans in a set of beds of some sort. She had wondered if they were from a zombie apocalypse like Nikolai and Dempsey.
"Spike, send this letter to Princess Celestia. We've got another problem."
"Right." Spike said in a somewhat depressed tone.
"Are you still sad that Rarity is..."
"Yes Twilight, but as long as she's happy, I'm going to be okay."
Spike then sent the letter. Twilight was now focusing on a few things about these humans. A detailed search revealed that the 'fat one' had writing on his stomach that read 'Pobody's Nerfect' and 'This mess is a place'. As far as she knew, humans didn't have cutie marks, but this one had unwashable writing on his skin. How was that possible?
Toki began to stir, slowly opening his eyes.
"Spike, one of them's waking up!"
"Coming Twi!"
Who's thats? Was ones of thems a girl?
Toki eyes opened, but his vision was blurry.
"Oh thank goodness! I was worried you might not wake up."
"Huh, who's there?"
"Oh, you're still woozy from getting here. I found you unconscious at my doorstep with your friends, so I had to help you."
Toki got up and turned to the mystery voice. "Thanks you. I don'ts know..."
Toki stopped when he saw a purple unicorn and purple lizard looking at him. The unicorn opened it's mouth.
"Freak out in 3, 2..."
"Whats the hells! Where ams I?! Whats are yous?!"
"Calm down alright! I just want to help."
Toki was freaking out, but he calmed down quickly and actually found the unicorn to be cute.
"Okays. Let's waits for my friends to wakes up."
"Right!" Twilight noted his unusual way of pluralizing words. Maybe he doesn't speak Equestrian that well.
And so, the two waited for the others to wake up, but it would take a while.
A scroll appeared in front of Celestia. On its seal, it read 'Urgent'.
"Why would Twilight..." Celestia decided to find Discord later, right now Twilight might have something important to tell her.
"Hmmm... Five humans?!" Discord was right! I have to tell Luna!
"Sister, what's wrong?"
"Luna, Discord was right! There are five humans in Ponyville right now. I need to get to there immediately."
"I'm coming too, Discord told me and me alone about this."
"Very well, come with me. Guards, ready the chariot! We are going to Ponyville!"
"Yes, your highness."
I hope these humans are more tolerable than Nikolai.
After the rest of Dethklok woke up, freaked out (except Nathan, who was unusually calm about this), and some reassurance that ponies mean no harm, the group of six sat down at a nearby table.
"Okay, I'll ask you some questions..."
"Booooriiiing!" Pickles needed a drink now.
"...then I'll take you to a few places you might like."
Murderface wanted to know what happened to get him talking to a horse, "Like what?"
"I guess the bar..."
The five band members perked up at the mention of a bar. "There's booze here?" Murderface thought of booze as food.
"Oh wows, I can gets drunk heres." Skwisgaar liked to drink.
"I totally want booze right now." Nathan found booze to be delicious.
"I can get drunk and get high here!" Pickles now knew this place wasn't so bad.
"You mades us very happy nows Twilight, especially Pickle." Toki was grateful for the magnificent fact that alcohol was here.
"Right..." Just like Nikolai. "Now tell me, are there zombies in your world?"
Nathan then stood up, "No. There are no zombies, just douchebags."
"Yeah, they ams dildo, douchebag in ours worlds."
"Really, because two months ago, two humans came here from a zombie apocalypse, and they were on the Moon!"
Nathan was interested, but kept a calm tone, "Holy S***. Really? That F***ing metal."
"Metal?"
"Yeah, metal."
Twilight got a skeptical look, but shrugged it off. "Next question, who are you?"
"Nathan, Nathan Explosion."
"William Murderface."
"I'm Pickles."
"My names is Toki Wartooth."
"I ams Skwisgaar Skwigelf."
Nathan then spoke for the rest of them, "And together, we are Dethklok, a death metal band, that's totally brutal."
Twilight was writing this down, "Do you stylize the name 'Dethklok'?"
"Drop the A, first C a K, and drop the last C."
"Wow, that is interesting. How popular are you?"
"Our fans would kill themselves for us, they're dumbasses."
"Yeah and they ams the dildos, too." Skwisgaar interjected.
"Wait, they kill themselves, and you don't care one bit?"
"We don't. They are just guys who buy s*** from us."
Twilight was really not happy about their carelessness and lack of support for the fans of their music. She wasn't a fan of death metal, but...
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Coming! You guys stay here."
"Alright, we are scary monsters now, right?"
"Only to a foal."
Twilight trotted over to the door and opened it, and saw Princesses Celestia and Luna.
"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!"
Celestia had an urgent tone of voice, "We got your letter Twilight, let us see the humans now."
"Okay. They're..."
BLAM!
"Dammit Murderface, ya douchebag!"
Twilight then looked at her teacher and then giggled with a sheepish look on her face.
Dethklok was still trying to figure out what the f*** just happened to bring them to this totally un-metal place. They came up with 4 answers to this dilemma.
"Number 1, We are asleep and are having a shared dream." Nathan said.
"Pfff! Nathans, if this weres my dreams, I woulds haves had my guitars."
"You are right Skwisgaar... what the f*** happened to it?"
"I don'ts knows."
"Right. Number 2, we are dead."
"Nah," Pickles interrupted, "This place has booze, but is way too girly for me. It can't be 'Heaven' or 'Hell'."
"Hey, this place is prettys cool. Why ares you dissings on it?" Toki really did like this place.
"Shut up, you two!" Nathan was like the father-figure of the band, he didn't know why. "Number 3, we are high on acid."
"..."
"That seems legit, except that acid doesn't really do much for me, Nathan."
"Well, we'll never know Pickles..."
"Oh, I would know, I've done it before. I've done it all." Pickles did have a long history of drug and alcohol abuse all the way back to his childhood.
"Okay, then number four, our light show f***ed up and brought up to this s*** place."
With no other ideas, well they could have had more ideas, but they weren't that smart, they all agreed to the last one. Skwisgaar then searched around the place.
"Lookings for your guitars, Skwisgaar?"
"Yes, Toki. Where is thats f***ing guitars?"
While Skwisgaar looked for his guitar, Pickles walked up to Murderface.
"Hey, Murderface."
"Yes, Pickles?"
"I'm hungry."
"What do you want me to do about it, piss?"
"No, let's go into the kitchen and find something to eat and s***."
"Fine."
The two walked into the dark kitchen but had failed to notice that Twilight had turned on the gas earlier. She had forgotten to light a fire to start it off earlier, and had failed to turn it off as well when she rushed outside. She was going to make dinner, but Dethklok's appearance made it less than important.
"I can't see anything. Light one up Murderface."
"Okay."
Murderface lit his lighter and...
BLAM!
Amazingly, no one was hurt, but the kitchen now needed dire repairs. Pickles was really angry now.
"Dammit Murderface, ya douchebag!"
"Hey, it was not my f***ing fault! You told me to light a f***ing match!"
The rest of Dethklok came in and turned on a light to see what happened
"What the hell is going on in..." Nathan stopped when he saw the damage, "Holy s***! You blew up the kitchen."
Twilight then came in, "What just... MY KITCHEN!!!" Twilight was extremely saddened by this event, "My kitchen. It's going to cost so much."
Celestia walked in and saw her student cry over such pointless destruction.
"Don't worry Twilight, I'll pay for it."
"Really? Thank you so much, Princess!"
"Yes, you're welcome." She then turned to the five humans, whom were not really feeling bad about this.
"Don't you feel bad about this?"
"Not really, we aren't the kind of people to care about feelings much." Nathan said.
"Yeah! Feelings are gay!" Toki generally agreed with what the band said and did.
"Well you are going to pay for this..."
"No princess, they have gone through enough right now. Let's just take them on a tour..."
"To the bar. We want to get drunk." Nathan was really speaking for the band now.
Celestia was quiet, but in her mind, Typical. What's next? A metal-masked man who eats an impossible amount of yogurt.
"Very well, but I'll be watching you."
"Alright, to the bar!" Pickles said.
Luna came in to see the humans, and then approached her sister.
"Are you sure that this is a good idea, sister?"
"Please Luna, what's the worse that could happen?"
If there was one mistake that Celestia and Luna could have made, it was to let Dethklok drink. They binged-drinked to the point of vomiting, smashed furniture over each other's heads, and finally...
"You are an ass****, douchebag!" Pickles was now ready to fight a gryphon.
"OH, THAT'S IT! BRING IT!"
And the two fought, Celestia herself was shocked at the destructive nature of Dethklok when they were drunk.
"This is madness!"
Murderface then climbed onto the table and dropped his pants, "Madness. This is PLANET PISS!" He then proceeded to try to urinate on Celestia, but missing horribly and instead getting Twilight's drink.
"I'm not drinking that." Murderface just made my day. Ha ha. Twilight was apparently so annoyed by this, that her sarcastic side came out to taunt them.
Berry had had enough of this. "Alright you idiot drunks! Get out or I'll make you!"
"F***s yous!" Toki then vomited on Berry's face. She had that happen before, and it just made her angry.
If anypony was at the entrance to the bar, they would have seen five humans get tossed out, one by one.
"And stay out!"
Twilight, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna walked out, obviously embarrassed at the band's antics. The door then slammed as Berry had to clean up and find the estimates for the damages the band had caused to her bar.
"Alright, you five. Let's get you home, you are in a lot of trouble already. So let's go, preferably without anymore incidents." Twilight would have to introduce them to the others later, right now, she had to make sure they didn't do anything stupid... again.
"F***s..." Toki then vomited again on Murderface's crotch.
"Uh, Toki. You got vomit on my c***."
"Let's just get home."
Twilight and the two princesses carried the band to the library, where the next morning was going to be bad at least.
I was right, this is going to be Hell.
A random earth-pony stallion was watching the princesses and a unicorn carry five ape-like creatures with their magic. He looked closely and suddenly had a green glow over his eyes.
The queen must know about this. I must watch them tomorrow.
And then he went into the shadows, glowed a little, and then came out a changeling drone. It flew away into the skies, where it would find shelter from the observant eye.
Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna were all carrying Dethklok back to the library. Twilight decided to talk a bit.
"Thanks for helping me carry these guys back, they are heavier than they look."
"Of course, Twilight Sparkle. I did hear they were coming."
"Really Princess Luna, where?"
"Oh, um..." Luna messed up, but this was an easy mess to clean up. "I had a dream about them coming, but they were shadows in my dream."
Nathan heard shadows and slurred, "Shadow dreams, shadow dreams. Holy s***! I just got a totally metal song idea." He then fell asleep shortly afterward.
"Song?"
"They're a death metal band, Princess." Twilight tried to explain.
Luna became interested, "Death metal? What is this, 'Death Metal'?"
"Oh sister, I'll explain when we get back to Canterlot."
"Wait, Princess, You're going back?"
"Yes Twilight, even though these humans are..." Celestia saw Pickles' pants fall off his legs, revealing his underwear. "Eccentric, I have more important matters to attend to right now."
"Oh, alright Princess. I'll have the rest of the girls help me watch them."
"Very well. Oh look, we're here."
"Great, let's put them to bed and make sure they don't cause any more damage."
The two Princesses nodded and put the band in separate beds. They then went over to the center of the library, where Celestia began to talk to Twilight.
"We shall see you soon, my faithful student. But be careful."
And with a flash, the rulers of Equestria were gone. Twilight was alone with Spike and Dethklok. With a yawn, she went to bed.
I hope the girls can help me lighten my load, these guys are dangerous and incompetent.
-The Next Morning-
Skwisgaar was slowly waking up. A headache throbbed in his head and dehydration making him weary.
Ugg, the hangovers ams totally horribles, I needs aspirin.
Skwisgaar got up, and noticed that he wasn't in his luxury room in Mordhaus. He was in a library of some sort.
Where ams... oh nos. That was nots a dreams.
He fell back into bed. He was stuck in an unknown world full of talking ponies. The last thing he remembered was smashing a barstool into the head of Murderface. He was grateful that there was booze, but there would not be women. He had many strange fetishes, but he was not into bestiality at all.
"Ugg, I musts finds out where I cans finds a guitar arounds here."
Skwisgaar got up again and walked to the kitchen. He was expecting breakfast, until he saw the damages from the gas explosion last night.
"Oh, rights. Pickle."
He sat down at a table, and great timing too, Twilight just came back from the donut shop.
"Oh, Skwisgaar. I see you're up. I brought donuts."
"Thanks yous." Skwisgaar then remembered something, "Hey, where ams my guitars?"
"Oh, let me get it for you, I was keeping it safe along with the rest."
"The rest?"
"Yes, you came with a whole set of instruments."
"Huhs, weirds."
Twilight left to get the guitar, while Skwisgaar took a donut and bit into it.
"Wows, this ain'ts half-bads."
He began to eat a little more before Twilight came back with Skwisgaar's Gibson Explorer Guitar.
"Here you go."
"Thank." Skwisgaar was so happy to be reunited with his guitar. He began to do his ritual-like practices.
"You really like to play guitar, don't you?"
"Fastest guitarist alives."
Twilight smiled, but then noticed something weird, "Hey, is your guitar supposed to glow like that?"
"Like whats?" Skwisgaar looked down to see his guitar glowing a black aura. This surprised him enough to stop playing for a while.
"What just happened?"
"I don'ts know." Skwisgaar began again, causing the guitar to glow again. He was unaware that he was preforming magic, an entry level spell really, levitation. The humorous thing about it was that it was affecting Murderface. He was now floating above Nathan, more specifically, his ass above Nathan's face.
*Ptbbb~*
Nathan woke up to the smell, and...
"AHH!"
"AAHH! What the fu... holy s***! I'm floating in midair!"
"Holy s***! That's awesome, but Murderface."
"Yeah?"
Nathan proceeded to punch Murderface in the gut.
"Ahh, the hell was that for?"
"For farting in my face, f***tard."
"What ams goings on heres? Why is Murderface floatings?"
Twilight looked at Murderface, then Skwisgaar, then Murderface again. Can it be?
"Skwisgaar, stop playing for a second."
"Fines." Skwisgaar stopped, and Murderface fell on straight onto his ass.
"Ah, dammit!"
"Holy Craps! My guitars playing skill is causing peoples to floats."
"Wow!" Nathan was impressed, "That's totally brutal."
"Wow, it seems when you play music, you can cause magic." Twilight was now in full-on 'learn everything about this' mode, but they probably don't know much about this anyway.
"Wow, let me try." Nathan proceeded to sing in his trademark death growl, "I... am the cause of the end."
This made Pickles suddenly shoot up into the air and hit the roof.
"AWW F***! Whaaaaaaa... opm!" As a testament to the stupid luck Dethklok had, Pickles only got a sore body, nothing a little booze won't fix.
"Holy s***." Nathan was trying not to laugh, "My singing just launched you into the ceiling Pickles, that's f***ing hilarious."
"Aww, screw you, ya douchebag."
Toki was the last to wake up, and had the worse hangover.
"Aww, my heads."
"Toki, you're up. That's good."
"Yeah, thanks Murderface. We has crazy nights lasts night, rights? Awwwww mans..."
"Uh, yeah."
"Umm, if I may..." Twilight started off, "I'm going to get my friends now, so behave."
"Fine, no need to be a total bitch about it."
Twilight deadpanned, and simply left the five on their own.
Twilight walked out the door and was met with a familiar cyan face.
"Hey Rainbow, can you get Pinkie Pie for me?"
"Why Twi? Hey that rhymes!"
"Yes it does, and we've got humans again, five of them, so get her quickly."
"What about Fluttershy and Rarity?"
"I'll get them both. Make sure to not..."
"Not to get Applejack, she is recovering. I know Twilight, I was there on every day of the Leukemia treatment."
Rainbow Dash, a very loyal pony alright. "Good to hear, get Pinkie and meet me here, okay."
"Sure!" Rainbow flew off, leaving Twilight to run off and get the other two.
Twilight had reached Fluttershy's cottage, she really needed her right now.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
A few minutes later, the door opened to reveal Fluttershy.
"Oh, hi Twilight."
"Fluttershy, there are five more humans here."
"Another five humans?"
"Yes Fluttershy, another five. I'll need you to come with me."
"Are they, umm, scary?"
"Not really, just annoying."
"Oh, okay."
"We'll get Rarity next." This made Fluttershy perk up.
"Oh sure, of course!"
"Great! Let's go!"
Rainbow was at Sugarcube Corner, looking for Pinkie Pie. It didn't take long as she found her almost immediately on the counter.
"DASHY! Are you here to buy a bunch of super, duper, luper sweets?"
"No Pinkie, there are five more humans here and Twilight needs us."
"Okie dokie lokie!"
That was easier than I expected. "Let's go!"
"Yeppers!"
And the two mares went off to the library to meet these humans.
Dethklok was just eating donuts at the table, nothing much.
"Oh man, this is the best f***ing donut I've ever eaten, in like, ever."
"Yeah Nathans, these donut are bitchin's!" Skwisgaar was using his guitar to levitate a donut to his face to take a bite out of it.
"I've been meaning to ask you Skwisgaar, how the hell are you making that donut float like that?"
"Yeah! How come I don't have anything like that?" Murderface was obviously jealous.
"I don't knows. Maybe when we plays the instruments, we makes the magics."
"Wowee! That's so cools!"
"Yeah! I knows!"
Pickles soon realized that there might be a problem, "Yeah, if that's true, then you guys at least have mobile instruments. How the hell am I going to carry my drum set around with me?"
"Well, I don't know. But I'll tell you one thing."
The rest of the band looked at Nathan.
"We can be total dicks this way. Total ass****s, and no one would know."
The band then got devious looks.
Twilight and Fluttershy were at Carousel Boutique already, so Twilight knocked on the door.
"Rarity! Rarity!"
"I'm coming Twilight!" The door opened to the white mare. She then notice Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, Darling! What are you..."
"Rarity... five more humans."
Rarity's eyes opened at her lover's words. Five more... I hope they aren't like Nikolai, I just hope.
"Let's go!"
The other two nodded and Twilight led them to the library.
The mane six, except for a sickly Applejack, were already at the entrance of the library. Rainbow was still cautious.
"So Twilight, you think these guys want a fight?"
"Only when they're drunk."
Twilight opened the door and got a pleasant surprise, they actually behaved themselves, and Nathan was actually reading a book.
"I see you haven't caused any trouble. Good."
"Yeah, this book on this 'Discord' is brutal, he was turned to stone. That's f***ing brutal, man."
"I see that this one has a low voice."
"And you are?"
"I'm Rarity, I'm a fashion designer."
"Wow, we had hired one a few years ago, but we fired him."
"Why?"
"He was like, using human skin as a material. We were metal, but not that metal."
"Yeah, that guys ams the total dildos too."
The mares got disgusted looks, but at least these humans were smart enough to get rid of a mentally unstable man.
"Who are you?" Rarity asked.
"I ams Skwisgaar Skwigelf, checks this s***s out." Skwisgaar proceeded to preform a guitar solo, activating another spell, teleportation. He teleported to the top of the staircase.
"Wow! While I don't like the language, that was amazing!"
"Yeah, the musics here causes the magics."
"Yeah, it's totally f***ing awesome."
Twilight glared at Nathan, and said, "Right... Nathan, I'd like you to meet Rainbow Dash..."
"What's up?"
"Oh nothing, just sore from hitting the ceiling and landing on the ground." Pickles right now had low blood sugar, so he was a little irritable.
"How did..."
"Just... don't."
There came an awkward silence. Twilight decided to break it. "This is Pinkie Pie."
"Hello! Look at you, youareallmonkeymenandIwonderifyoucanbreakthefourthwalllikeme!" Pinkie squealed in joy, which Toki thought was cute.
"Wowee, thats is so cutes. But whats is the fourths wall?"
"Awww, you can't see it. Oh well!"
Twilight chuckled and shook her head, "Right, And this is Rarity and Fluttershy."
"Charmed."
"Um, hello."
"Umm, hellos." Skwisgaar was just subconsciously playing his guitar, causing magic, but it seems to just be causing a glow, not much else. "Is there anythings I would likes to know before we introduce ourself."
Rarity decided to just tell them, "Well, Fluttershy and I..." They got closer together, "Are in love." The two mares then kissed to seal that fact in concrete for the humans.
"Holy s***s! You ams the lesbian?"
"Wow, I did not see that coming." Pickles was not expecting that, but he had 'been there, done that'.
"Huh, lesbian ponies. Wow..."
The awkward silence Nathan had left behind was very... boring, so Murderface decided to talk,
"Well, I'm just gonna say this. My name is William Murderface. I'm the band's bassist."
"Band?" Rainbow wondered what music they might have played now.
"Yeah," Nathan started off, "In our world, we are a f***ing brutal death metal band, called Dethklok. We're totally famous and... stuff. I'm Nathan, by the way. Nathan Explosion. The band's frontman."
The five mares just stared at Nathan, expecting something else. Toki decided to speak up.
"Hi's, my names ams Toki Wartooth. I plays rhythms guitar."
"Nice to meetcha Toki-woki!"
"Toki-woki... pff, that's f***ing gay."
"Hey, stops being a dicks, Nathan!"
"Whatever, I'm Pickles the Drummer."
"Strange accent you got there." Rainbow pointed out.
"Who cares?"
"And Skwisgaar already introduced himself, so let's split you guys up." Twilight was ready to get rid of most of these guys.
The band expressed confusion, but Twilight assigned each human to a pony. "Okay Skwisgaar, Murderface, you two are with Fluttershy and Rarity."
"So we haves to be withs the lesbian?"
"Wow, that's... that's just, wow!"
Rarity came up to them, "Oh, pish posh. You two are going to have a fun time with us."
"Pish posh, Piss Poss!"
"I can already tell you're going to be trouble."
"Right, Toki, you're with Pinkie."
"Woohoo! Thanks Twilight! We're gonna make and eat all kinds of sweets, like cupcakes!"
"Oh, I can'ts. I haves the diabetes."
"What! Oh no. Oh well, we can still make 'em."
Toki pondered this for a few, and said, "Okays, I cans agree to this."
"Right, Rainbow."
"Yes Twi?"
"You're watching Pickles, as a matter of fact..." Twilight then cast a spell on Pickles.
"Whoa, what'd ya do to me?"
"I cast a cloudwalking spell on you."
"Cloudwalking... wait, so I can walk on clouds?"
"Yeah."
"F***ing A!"
"Oh, Pickles, you ass****!"
"I ams thinkings you ams just jealous, Murderface."
"F*** you Skwisgaar!"
"Right, Nathan, you're with me."
"Okay Twilight." Nathan had no real reason to object.
"Everyone alright with who they're with?"
There was no objections, "Great! Let's go out in our groups."
The rest agreed and the group split up into the four groups.
Meanwhile, a group of four ponies watched the humans walk away with some other ponies. This group looked at each other, and nodded. They split up, and each followed a group.
I promise you MarineMarksman, I'll truly make this a totally metal fanfic, or you can send both Rambo Jesus and Chuck Norris after me.
MM: You f***ing better.
Okay. Oh s***, the story is back on, okay where was I... Aha!
Pinkie Pie was hopping along in Ponyville with her partner, Toki Wartooth. Toki was really enjoying this world, he was after all, a child at heart. He was really in a child's best dream, only difference was his friends were here, they always managed to mess up Toki's fun. He soon noticed a massive gingerbread house.
"Wowee, thats is a big gingerbreads house."
"Not really, it's fake. But it's where I work, Sugarcube Corner!"
"Sugarscube Corners, makes a lots of sense."
"Yeppers, let's get inside and make lots of treats!"
"Okays!" Toki then got an idea for a joke, "Holds on, I'm goings to texts my friends."
"Text?"
"Just watchs."
Toki took out his stylized cell phone, and began to text to Pickles. He typed in it.
Knocks knocks
Send?
Yes!No!
"Yes." Toki sent the message to Pickles, unaware that he just shortened his time here.
-Mordhaus-
"Sire, we've got a lock on Toki Wartooth!"
Charles immediately got to the klokateer. "Show me where."
"Sire, it's not in this dimension."
"What?"
"It's in a parallel universe. To access it, we would require advanced..."
"Get the head scientists on the project to bring Dethklok back."
"Yes sire!"
At least those guys are alive. I just hope they aren't causing hell to the poor inhabitants, if there are any.
Rainbow Dash had led Pickles out to an open field. He really didn't have a feel for the place, but even he knew there were some places he would need to get to.
"Hey Rainbow! Why aren't you giving me a tour of the town?"
"Because, I want to show you what awesome skills I've got to show you."
"Fine." Arrogant bitch.
Pickles' phone got a message. That surprised Rainbow into a fighting stance.
"What was that?"
"Oh, it's my phone. Let's see here... Knocks Knocks. Who's there?"
Send?
Yes!No!
Pickles chose yes, then looked at Rainbow Dash. "What?"
"Nothing." Humans are weird.
Toki's phone went off while mixing the cake batter.
"Huh, hmm... Knocks knocks. Who's there?" Toki typed down what he said next, "Toki."
Send?
Yes!No!
Toki chose yes.
Pickles was watching Rainbow pull some pretty impressive stunts, when Pickles' phone went off.
"Knocks Knocks. Who's there?" Rainbow flew down as he read the rest of the message. "Toki. Toki who?"
Send?
Yes!No!
"Yes."
Rainbow didn't know anything about human technology, but she knew the punchline already, "Are you serious?"
"What?"
Toki just put the cake in the oven when his phone went off again.
"Knocks Knocks. Who's there? Toki. Toki who? Toki Wartooth!" Toki then laughed at the horrible joke as he went throught the same options.
Send?
Yes!No!
"Yes."
"Knocks Knocks. Who's there? Toki. Toki who? Toki Wartooth!" Pickles then started to laugh a bit. Rainbow however...
"That wasn't even a good 'knock knock' joke."
"Oh, I beg to differ. That is hilarious!"
Do all humans have this bad sense of humor?
"I think I know who sent it."
"I bet ya, you don't!"
"DEAL!"
"Sire, I have managed to get a complete lock on on both Toki and Pickles."
"How?" Charles asked.
"It appears to be another 'knock knock' text chat."
"Of course. Use it!"
"Yes sire."
"Just a question?"
"Yes sire?"
"Is there a way to call them?"
Rainbow and Pickles went over to Sugarcube Corner to see if Toki had a hand in the 'knock knock' joke. They entered to see Mrs. Cake at the counter.
"Hello Mrs. Cake. Is Pinkie here?"
"Yes Rainbow, and she's with that human in the kitchen."
"Thanks."
"Oh, and Rainbow."
"Yeah?"
"Make sure he doesn't nearly have a diabetic coma."
Pickles became worried, "What?"
"Yeah, good thing he always carries some insulin with him."
"Oh thank God!"
"You know him?"
"Yeah, he's my bandmate."
"Band?"
"We'll tell you later Mrs. Cake."
"Alright Rainbow. You go talk to Pinkie."
"Okay."
The two walked into the kitchen to see a masterpiece. It was triple layer cake, each layer a different flavor. The top was chocolate, the middle vanilla, and the bottom was a strawberry flavor. The frosting was put on in just the right way, so that it looked good, but did not overpower the cake. It also had mixed berries as toppings that made it wonderful to taste. Pickles and Rainbow mouths watered at the sight of this cake. They could only unison one word.
"WOW!"
"I knows, it's greats!"
"Wow Toki, that looks delish!" Pickles was going to chomp into it.
"And, it's for a client in Ponyville Hall, so you can't touchy." Pinkie was serious when it came to the sweets of Sugarcube Corner.
"Aww man. Wait, why'd we come here again?"
"Oh yeah. Toki, was it?"
"Yes?"
"Did you send that 'knock knock' joke to Pickles?"
"Wait, did you... you did! Didn't you?"
"Of course, Its was hilarious, wasn'ts its?"
"Yeah, totally!"
"What was the joke?" Pinkie was always in for a great laugh.
"Okay okay, here it is..." Pickles cleared his throat and said, "Knocks Knocks. Who's there? Toki. Toki who? Toki Wartooth!" The two humans began to laugh again, but the mares...
"I don't get it."
"Yeah, that was lame guys."
"Ah, well screw you..."
Pickles phone began to ring, it was an actual call. The mares seemed confused, but they stayed quiet.
"Who's that? Oh well. Hello?"
"Pickles, you there?" Charles Ofdensen was on the opposite side of the line.
"Oh hey, how are you, douchebag?"
"Pickles, where are you?"
"I'm in an alternate universe full of girly ponies, and they have booze. What the f*** is with that s***?"
"Well, I don't know. But hear this..."
"No, hear this, get us out of here..."
"That's what I'm doing Pickles, are the rest of the guys with you?"
"Yeah, but we split up. Toki's here though. Say hi, Toki."
"Hi's, how ares yous?"
"I doing fine Toki, I assume you're having a good time."
"Oh yeahs, I just bakeds an awesome cakes with a pinks pony, its ams a really awesome cake!"
"I bet it is. Can you get Nathan on the line?"
"I don'ts knows where hes is. Maybe yous should calls him."
"Alright, I'll will. Thank you Toki."
"You're welcomes."
"Bye." The line was hung up.
"Who was that?" Rainbow was really confused, more so than usual with humans.
"It was our manager, he's looking for us." Pickles answered.
"But..."
"I think you forgot the fact that we are rich in our world, they defiantly can afford an interdimin... interdumond... intra... gateway thingy."
"Okay..."
"I wonder how Nathan is doing though?"
Nathan was reading up on the history of Equestria. He found it more brutal than he thought it would be. Nightmare Moon, Discord, the Gryphon war and even now, there was a war against these 'changelings'. He read them up and found that they feed off of emotions, and can shapeshift. These changelings are brutal. I must get a few home to make it more metal. Maybe clone them, maybe kill them and use their corpses as furniture. Maybe...
Nathan's train of thought was interrupted when he got a call from his manager.
"What's that Nathan?"
"It's a cell phone, we can call other phones with it, and it's portable." Nathan answered it.
"Hello?"
"Nathan, are you there?"
"Yeah, I'm here ass****. What's up?"
"Just trying to get you back."
"Can I get something when we get back?"
"What is it?"
"A cheeseburger, with bacon, lots of f***ing bacon."
"...Okay, we can do that. In the meantime, how are you?"
"Just reading some history."
"Of the ponies?"
"How the hell did you..."
"Toki told me."
"Oh... Well I have a few new songs that are totally metal. You want to hear a few lyrics, or something?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Sire, have you..."
"I... am... a... be...ing... of... chaos!"
The voice caused the unlucky klokateer to float in a black aura and get flug out the window, and land on a fence, gutting him in a gruesome way. His intestines hanged from the fence like ornaments on a Christmas tree.
"Uh, Nathan."
"Yeah?"
"How did you make one of our klokateers float?"
"By singing, in this world music is magic, f***ing brutal magic."
"Well, you just flung him out the window... and onto the fence. He's now been gutted."
"Wow, that's f***ing metal!"
"Yeah. Tell you what, I think we can get you in a month. Sounds good?"
"Oh yeah, totally."
"Great, see you Nathan."
"Yeah, see you too."
The two hung up and Twilight had a confused look on her face.
"That was my manager. He coming to get us in a month."
"A MONTH!"
"Yeah, he also said that my magic singing killed one of my klokateers."
"Klokateers?"
"The soldiers and roadies of my band."
"Oh. Wait, you killed that person!"
"Yeah, by flinging out a window, and gutting him on a fence."
Twilight was almost sick to her stomach, but she managed to keep it down. "Do you ever do anything creative?"
"I can speak French."
"French?"
"Ouais, je peux certainement parler français."
"Wow! Oh, and here, it's Prench."
"Prench, you speak it?"
"Only bits and snippets."
"Brutal."
The stallion that looked at Nathan was intrigued, but he seemed to not be a threat.
How are the others drones?
And so, he left the two, he had gotten some useful information from this spying, but some more would have to be done first.
Skwisgaar and Murderface were with Rarity and Fluttershy. They had pretty much got the lay of the land already, so they decided to talk about their 'caretakers'.
"Skwisgaar, I've been wondering. Would you think that it would be hotter if these ponies were humans?"
"Yeah, totallys. Waits, you're nots uncomfortables abouts them being the lesbians, are yous Murderface?"
"Well, not usually. But they are ponies! Them being lesbians are completely the opposite of being hot."
"So, you ams sayings that they ams disgusting lesbian?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Yous guess?"
"Okay! It is disgusting! There, you happy?"
"Yeah."
The two were silent, before noticing something.
"Wait, how'ds we gets into a forests?"
"I don't f***ing know! Let's get the f*** out of here!"
What they didn't know was they had just entered the Everfree Forest. How they got there is not really known, but they were there, and they were lost.
"Fluttershy."
"Yes Rarity?"
"Where are Skwisgaar and William?"
Fluttershy opened her eyes and looked around. The humans were nowhere to be seen.
"OH NO! Rarity, we have to find them. We need to split up to find them."
"Fine then. Let's meet up at your cottage in 20 minutes."
Fluttershy nodded and the couple split up to look for the two incompetent humans.
"I think we're lost." Murderface said.
"Yeah, no s***s." Skwisgaar responded.
The two were wandering for the better part of 10 minutes, stopping only once when Murderface had to 'take a piss' as he said. Suddenly, a growl was heard.
"Whats was thats?"
"I don't know." Murderface brandished the knife he always carried around for various reasons.
"You really thinks thats the knifes would really hurts whatevers is huntings us?"
"Maybe. Pissing on it wouldn't do much, right?"
"I guess."
The source of the growling came out, a manticore. Body of a lion, tail of a scorpion and was very dangerous.
"OH S***! It's a f***ing monster!"
"Runs!"
The two ran off, while the manticore followed.
Fluttershy and Rarity met up at the cottage as they said they would.
"Fluttershy, please tell me that you found them!"
"No, I didn't." Fluttershy was starting to cry a bit.
"Oh, don't cry my love. We'll find them soon, I promise!"
HEEEEEEEEEELP!
"That sounded like Skwisgaar and Murderface! And it came from the Everfree Forest! We need to get there, now!" Rarity will not abandon those two, not yet.
"Yes!"
The two went off and eventually found the two humans, as well as something they wish they could 'unsee'.
"Murderface! If we dies, I will sees you in Valhalla!"
"I don't believe in... AW PISS!"
It was a dead end, and the manticore was literally right next to them.
"OH NO! I haven't even finished my Planet Piss album yet!"
The panic had caused Skwisgaar to play his guitar faster, but then...
"Heys, my musics ams causing the monsters to floats! Maybe I should plays faster!"
"Do it! F***ing do it!"
Skwisgaar began a totally metal guitar solo, and caused the manticore's skin to melt off its bones, until it was literally a pile of liquefied meat and bones. They then heard screams coming from their left.
"Oh, oh Cele..." Rarity put a hoof over her mouth to try to stop herself from vomiting. Fluttershy wasn't quick enough, and vomited behind some bushes.
"Wow, that was totally brutal Skwisgaar." Murderface then wondered how it would be like if he played his bass, especially is he did it with his dick.
"Yeahs, it was, wasn'ts its?"
Fluttershy was done vomiting, and went over to what was left of the manticore.
"How could you? How could you kill this poor manticore?"
"Well if it didn't try to attack us, it wouldn't be dead now, would it?" How could she be so caring of something that tried to kill us?
"Well! If you had waited a few more seconds, there wouldn't even be a corpse!"
"AH WELL F*** YOU! F*** THE MANTICORE! F*** EVERY SINGLE F***ING THING IN THIS F***ING WORLD!" Murderface would have gone on, but Rarity made sure he was not conscious for the trip back by using a rock.
"Was thats really necessarys?"
"Of course, Skwisgaar. A lady isn't afraid to defend herself and her lover if they are threated."
"Oh, but I feel sorry for him. He is so confused."
"Don't worry Fluttershy. He'll be okay. For now, let's just get to your..."
Skwisgaar's phone went off, and he answered almost immediately.
"Hellos?"
"Skwisgaar, are you okay?" Charles was on the line and wanted to know if Skwisgaar was alright, he's was an irreplaceable member of the band.
"Of course, I justs mades the monsters turns intos the puddles."
"With music magic?"
"Yeah, it's ams f***ing awesomes."
"Right. Skwisgaar, is Murderface with you?"
"Yeah, buts he's out colds."
"How?"
"A rocks."
"... he was hit upside the head, with a rock."
"Yeah."
The two were silent before Charles broke the silence, "Well tell you what, we'll get you home in one month. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, I guess sos."
"Good, and Skwisgaar."
"Yes?"
"Watch out for anything strange. Alternate universes tend to have bad guys everywhere."
"Okays, waits one minutes." Skwisgaar seemed to have gotten something with his magic. He pulled it to him and was confused.
"What ams this things? I'll haves to calls you back laters."
"Okay Skwisgaar, behave."
"I wills, byes."
"Bye." The line was hung up. Skwisgaar looked at what he caught.
"Skwisgaar, that's a changeling!" Rarity hated to be reminded of those things.
"I wonders what it was doings."
"Obviously spying on us."
"But whys?"
Rarity and Fluttershy were silent, Skwisgaar did have a point. Why was it spying on them? Is there even...
"Skwisgaar, there might be more in Ponyville! They are hive society."
"Does that means that they likes the bees?"
"Somewhat, but we need to get to Twilight, right now!"
And so, the group of five went over to the library. In the mind of the changeling however, The queen is going to outright kill me now! Why'd I choose to follow them into the Everfree forest? WHY!?
Twilight and Nathan were just reading books, Nathan was reading the more dark novels (And the occasional erotica) while Twilight was reading the newer books in the library. It was okay, except when...
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
"I wonder who that could be?"
"I dunno, but this book is f***ing brutal."
"That book gave me nightmares for weeks."
"People die on a regular basis at home. This isn't that scary to me, I mean if you were near death so often, you would be, like, not very caring."
"Right..." Twilight trotted over to the door to see Rarity, Fluttershy, Murderface, Skwisgaar and a changeling. Nothing...
"A CHANGELING!"
"Yes Twilight, a changeling!" Rarity said.
"There could be... Find and tell the others, now!"
The four agreed while they just threw the changeling onto the floor, hard. They left to go find the others while Nathan walked up to it.
"So, that's a changeling?"
"Yes!"
Nathan took one long look at it and said, "Brutal."
The stallion outside was furious.
How could one of our own get caught so easily? Nevermind, he's no longer useful.
He walked off to go find the others and discuss what he found.
Charles Foster Ofdensen was relieved that Dethklok was okay, but he still needed to make sure that they could get home, safe and sound. He went to his chief scientists to discuss the situation.
"How's the project going so far?"
"Sire, we have multiple diagrams that are available to use, but we don't know how to..."
"Follow trial and error boys, we need Dethklok back!"
"Yes sire!"
What am I going to do? The media will eventually find out...
"We have breaking news! As of today at 3:42 p.m., Dethklok has officially been declared missing! Details at 4:00!"
"Oh no."
Fluttershy, Murderface, Rarity and Skwisgaar were rushing to Sugarcube Corner to tell Pinkie Pie about the changeling in Ponyville. They eventually got lucky at one point, and by lucky, I mean that Skwisgaar accidentally tripped and killed a changeling in disguise by splitting its head.
"Oh mans. Whats happeneds?"
"Well, aside from scaring and scarring everypony in the square, you discovered another changeling." Said Rarity, still somewhat sick at the gore that seemed to follow Dethklok around everyday.
"Reallys!" Skwisgaar looked at the dead changeling, "Oh, its ams just deads. Shames." Skwisgaar might have tamed it and made it his pet.
A royal guard had noticed this and trotted over to the carcass.
"A changeling! We will have to conduct a search on everypony now!"
Murderface then remembered something, "We tied up a changeling at the library, the purple unicorn is watching it now!"
"Thank you... ummm."
"My name is William Murderface, and I'm a f***ing human."
"Right, I'm going now." The guard then left.
Rarity seemed to be annoyed at Murderface. "Why'd you tell them a changeling was in..."
"Because I'm being a dick!"
"You... being a..." Rarity couldn't bring herself to degrade herself by saying that word, at least not in public, anger, or in... I'm stopping here, it's obvious.
"Umm, can we, umm, get to Pinkie now?"
"Of course Fluttershy! Let's go!"
As the group of four went off, the two changelings met with each other.
"One's captured, the other is dead..."
"Forget them, we now know everything we need. Let's get out of here and tell our queen."
They nodded and ran out to the nearest exit out of Ponyville, they would need to get home through the shadows.
Nathan and Twilight had tied up a changeling and were keeping an eye on it, trying to ask it questions. Nathan had a question for it.
"How do you feed on emotions? Do you, like, suck them out, or..."
The changeling just hissed and spit in Nathan's face. His reaction was a punch to the face.
"Was punching it necessary?"
"It spit in my face. I don't take that s***."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
"What now?"
"I dunno. I wonder if I can make it my pet. It'd be a bitchin' pet." Nathan then imagined the various things he and a changeling would do; Playing cards, stabbing corpses, playing with a defibrillator, and getting drunk. Twilight gave Nathan an incredulous look, then left for the door.
"Hello?"
"Yes, I was just made aware that you were keeping a changeling captive."
"Oh, yes! Follow me."
The guard did so, and found Nathan trying to read a book to the changeling.
"...and the stallion lost his heart. The End. That was a f***ing brutal story, wasn't it?"
The obviously scared changeling just whimpered at the human, leaving Twilight confused. I hope he didn't read that scary story about the stallion who fell in love, then was murdered by the mare he was in love with.
"Umm, Nathan. What did you read to the changeling?"
"The Collection of Scary Stories that are Based on True Stories. It brutal."
The guard got an uneasy look, but nonetheless went to the changeling. "Well, thank you for keeping an eye on it. We'll be sure to thank you for this."
"Yeah, shut up and leave me to this book, I'm f***ing in love with it."
The guard got an offended look, but shrugged it off and left. Twilight walked up to Nathan.
"You could have been nicer, you know."
"Shut up, I'm reading."
Twilight shook her head, "Why do I even..."
Murderface, Skwisgaar, Rarity and Fluttershy were at Sugarcube Corner and were entering inside, only to see Pinkie helping something big to carry something else big.
"Big Mac, You think you carry that big cake?"
"Eeyup!" answer Big Macintosh, obviously straining under the large cake.
Murderface looked at the amazing cake, "Holy f***ing s***. That cake looks f***ing delicious!"
"I knows." Answered Toki. "Why ams yous here?"
"Well," Rarity started off, "There are changelings in Ponyville."
Rainbow Dash sped out of the kitchen after hearing that. "Changelings, Where? Let me at them!"
Pickles had walked out of kitchen, carrying some bagels in his hands. "Changelings?"
"Yeah, I killeds ones by accidents, honest!"
"Really Skwisgaar. That deserves a bagel."
"Thanks you, Pickle." Skwisgaar used his guitar magic to take a bagel from Pickles and bit into it.
"Well, do you think there are more?" asked Rainbow.
"Umm, yes. But they could be getting out after seeing what Skwisgaar did... SKWISGAAR!"
"Whmm amph mmm muuph shuuph luummph luphmm mmph?" Skwisgaar tried to asked as his hands and mouth began to swell up.
"Oh crap, these aren't cilantro bagels, aren't they?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Skwisgaar is allergic! We need to get 'im to the hospital, NOW!"
The others had no reason to object, they soon high-tailed it to the hospital, leaving Big Mac alone to deal with the cake.
"Umm, help."
Nathan was soon bored of reading his grimdark books and went out for a walk with Twilight.
"This place is bright."
"Well, of course. We take care of the land."
"Wow, that's totally not..." Nathan stopped as soon as he saw something he hasn't seen in a long time. "Goddammit! Skwisgaar got cilantro again!"
"What makes you say that?"
"See his face and hands?"
Twilight looked and saw that they were swelled up.
"Oh my gosh! We need to help them!"
"Fine, I'm bored anyway."
They soon joined the group of eight to help Skwisgaar get treatment from the hospital. One of the fleeing changelings noticed said allergy and what causes it.
"Interesting, That may help somehow."
"Yeah, but for right now, MOVE!"
And the two fled, wishing that it would just become night already.
(A/N This name is in no way, shape, or form related to the Dethklop tumblr. It's named this way because of clop. I'll note when there is clop btw. Enjoy and f*** all who hate.)
"Ugg, where ams I?"
"In the hospital Skwisgaar."
Skwisgaar slowly opened his eyes to see his band mates and the ponies that he met earlier.
"Why..."
"Pinkie here though it'd be a good idea to put cilantro in bagels." Pickles said.
"In my defence, I do all kinds of weird food combos, like cupcakes and hot sauce!"
"Hot sauce on sweets, that's sounds strangely good." Nathan said.
"Oh yeah, it sounds bitchin'." Said Murderface.
"You know, I'm hungry again." Pickles never got to finish his bagel.
"Yeah, Nathan ams rights. We just makes the moneys together." Skwisgaar pointed out.
The mares at this point, didn't even react. Dempsey insulted Nikolai on a regular basis, and they called each other friends. And Dethklok seems to just be a business group that plays for their somewhat insane fans. If that wasn't enough, these men seemed not even care for the other's feelings. But what did they expect from Dethklok.
"Well Skwisgaar, we'll leave you here for the night and come back in the afternoon."
"Fine Twilights, I ams just hopesing that there ams no s*** foods here."
Skwisgaar was silent for a few minutes, before saying, "Oh s***s."
The others just shook their heads and left. Skwisgaar then realized something.
"Hey! Where ams my guitars?"
"Hey Pickles, why are carrying Skwisgaar's guitar?"
"I thought I'd keep it safe for him, Nathan... plus I'd like to use it for powers too."
"Do you even know how to play that?"
"Duh, I was the lead guitarist and frontman of Snakes 'n Barrels, Remember?"
"Oh yeah."
Pickles began to play, and nothing.
"Umm, shouldn't this magic or something?"
Twilight and Rainbow Dash were just staring at what they just heard and watched. They were confused at why Pickles wasn't having magic from Skwisgaar's guitar... until she thought of something.
"You know guys, maybe the magic only works with the instruments you usually use."
The two bandmates looked... well... unimpressed, or bored or... Let's just say that Nathan said, "You know, that might the reason. Really good to know that my voice won't be stolen and used for... s***."
"Nathan, vocal cords can't be stolen."
"Huh... well I still won't give them."
Twilight deadpanned. Is he really that stupid?
"Let's just go home. It's getting dark."
The others nodded, and left for their respective homes. Two ponies were sneaking around the hospital.
"About time it got dark!"
"Quickly, change back."
The ponies then turned themselves into changelings, and then took off to the Everfree Forest, and to the queen.
Pickles, Twilight, Nathan and Rainbow Dash were in a hot-air balloon to Rainbow's home. After a few minutes, they were there. Pickles seemed to be a little nervous.
"You sure I can walk on clouds?"
"Of course Pickles! If not, we'll let you go to the bar." Twilight knew what would happen.
"Okay!" Pickles jumped out the balloon and onto the cloud home...
And landed safely on his feet.
"Huh, comfy."
"Come on, Pickles! My home awaits!"
"Alright Rainbow."
The two headed inside while Nathan and Twilight floated down to the library. Nathan then asked a question.
"So you own this?"
"Yep."
"Cool."
"Mmhmm."
Everything was silent as they watched Toki and Pinkie walk to Sugarcube Corner.
"...and this is my super duper luper room. You like? You like? You like?"
"I do likes it, but it ams a little much pinks."
"But pink is my favorite color! I'm even pink, as in Pinkie Pie."
Toki laughed at that, she was really funny.
"See, laugh and be happy!"
"Oh, I ams being happys. You'res funny, you knows that."
"Yes Cerritos!"
"Oh oh, where ams my beds?"
"Over..." Pinkie pointed to an empty space, "Oh... I know!" Pinkie reached for something from hammerspace and took out a bed. Toki was, to say at the least, surprised.
"How did yous pull outs a huge beds out of nowheres?"
"Sorry bub. You can't see the wall, so I won't tell you."
"But there's a wall over theres, and over theres..."
"Not plain old regular walls silly! I mean the wall of the audience." Pinkie explained while pointing at you.
"Umm, what?" Toki was really confused. Why is Pinksie pointing ats a mirror?
"Because that's where the audience is watching us."
"Oh okay." Toki seemed happy with the answer, before realizing something. "You reads my minds?"
"No, I read the script here." Pinkie said as she pulled out this story. Toki reached out, but Pinkie pulled back.
"Ah ah, only for my eyes."
Toki sighed, "Fines, I'll just gos to bed." Toki went into the bed. It was surprisingly more comfy than his bed at Mordhaus.
"Good night Pinkies."
"Good night Toki."
The two went to sleep. Simple as that.
"Are we there yet?"
"No William." Rarity was getting annoyed by Murderface's constant complaining. Now I know how the Diamond Dogs felt around me.
"Groan!"
"Did you really just say groan?"
"Yes, shut the f*** up."
Rarity just deadpanned. Fluttershy, Rarity and Murderface were almost at Fluttershy's cottage, so the worst was almost over.
"And we're here."
"Finally!"
"Come along now, William."
"Sure, why not."
The three went in, and Fluttershy went over to cook and give Murderface his dinner.
"Here you go Murderface, vegetable curry."
"I don't like vegetables."
"Well you're going to have to eat it."
"I don't wanna."
"You need your energy."
"Well I... mmph." Fluttershy had shoved a spoonful of curry into William's mouth.
"Ahh, what the he... he... hello! This is actually f***ing good!" Murderface began to eat the curry, a bit fast though.
"Oh Murderface, don't eat too fast or..."
"AH S***! HOT!" Murderface chugged down a glass of orange juice on the table. When he finished, he was panting. Rarity went over to her marefriend.
"Or else his mouth will burn?"
"No, or else he'll get a tummyache."
Rarity chuckled at what she heard, and came closer to Fluttershy's ear and whispered, "I'll be in the bedroom. Don't hold up for too long."
Fluttershy mouth narrowed and she slowly turned her head towards Rarity... and gave a seductive smile back. Rarity went upstairs while Fluttershy took Murderface over to the couch.
"This is where you'll be sleeping."
"On the couch."
"It's not the most comfy, but it works."
"You know what, everything has been worse for me, at least I'm not sleeping under a rock." Murderface hopped onto the couch and laid down. Fluttershy then took out some linens for Murderface.
"Here you go."
"Thanks. F***ing bulls***."
Fluttershy began to sing to Murderface.
“Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head."
A lullaby, this f***ing sucks.
"Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed."
I hate this place.
"Drifting off to sleep, the exciting day behind you."
Murderface yawned. I hope that robot can get us back.
"Drifting off to sleep, let the joy of dream land find you."
This place is s***.
"Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head."
Why me? And then Murderface was out light a light.
"Yes, hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed.”
Fluttershy looked at her handiwork and smiled. She then flew over to her bedroom to see her lover on the bed.
"Want to join me Fluttershy?"
"Of course."
CLOP WARNING! SKIP TO NEXT SET IF YOU DON'T LIKE!
Fluttershy flew over to Rarity and went into bed with her.
"You know Fluttershy."
"What?"
"I never would have thought we would be here 6 months ago."
"6 months ago, I kissed you. Kinda like this." Fluttershy then suddenly gave Rarity a deep, passionate kiss. And two just melted away in bliss as Rarity kissed back. After about 40 seconds they broke the kiss. They gave one look at each other, and kissed again, their tongues danced with each other, as the two mares began to fondle each other. The two moaned in pleasure, they wanted this to be wonderful. The two broke the kiss. After a few seconds of panting, Rarity then asked the question.
"So, who's pleasuring who first?"
"You can make me feel good Rarity. I know you can."
Rarity nodded, and began to fondle Fluttershy's wings until they sprung out.
"Oh my, you're excited, aren't you Fluttershy?"
All Fluttershy could do was blush.
"Well then," Rarity preened her lover's wings, causing her to gasp. "Let's get to it."
Rarity kissed her lover on the neck, repeating as she slowly moved her head lower to Fluttershy's marehood. Fluttershy could only clamp her eye tight until...
"EEP!" She felt a hot breath near her flower. Rarity gazed at it with amazement, she had seen Fluttershy posterior before, but never had she seen her marehood. It was as pink as the mane of Fluttershy, and it seemed to want. Rarity decided to tease her by kissing around the vulva, rather than go for it.
"MMM, ah, Ohhh! Rarity, please..."
Rarity continued, she smelled the flower and was enamored by the smell.
"Rarity, please... I want it."
"Oh really. Okay, get ready."
Fluttershy braced herself. Oh my first time, I wonder what it... "Ahh Ah Ha!"
Rarity licked Fluttershy, she tasted a bit like saltwater taffy, Rarity's favorite candy.
"MMM, you are delicious Fluttershy." Rarity dug back in, licking a bit harder. Fluttershy could only let the pleasure consume her. It's so good!
Rarity tried licking the pearl that crowned the top of Fluttershy's marehood. She was rewarded with a massive gasp from Fluttershy. Jackpot.
"Yes, right there. Ahhh!"
Rarity continued, but she began to feel her jaw ache, so she decided to move her tongue deeper in the hole.
"AAHH, YES!" Fluttershy was being uncharacteristically loud, the pleasure was extreme, it was... it was...
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Rarity's face was suddenly drenched by her lover's orgasm. She moved back to wipe her face. When she was done, she saw a happy Fluttershy.
"You could have warned me, Darling."
"Oh, umm, sorry." Fluttershy said slowly. She was barely comprehending reality as she was in her blissful afterglow.
"It's okay. When you're all better, we'll move on to the next part."
"Mmm..."
After a few minutes, Fluttershy had her energy back, and slowly the two positioned themselves so that they switched places.
"I'm ready Fluttershy."
"Okay. You want me to go straight for it or..."
"You're choice."
Fluttershy looked thoughtful, before moving into Rarity's marehood. It was just as elegant as the mare who had it, such smooth curves, such shapeliness.
"Ahh, yes!" Rarity felt a shock shiver through her system as Fluttershy began to lick her.
Fluttershy noted that her lover tasted, good. She couldn't identify the taste, but it was good.
"MMmmm, yummy."
"Ah, Fluttershy. Deeper."
Fluttershy obliged as she put her tongue deeper in her lover's marehood. Rarity could only gasp and groan in pleasure. It was bliss.
"YES! LIKE THAT! OH OH!"
Fluttershy licked harder and harder. Rarity was panting until...
"Fluttershy, I LOVE YOU!!!
Fluttershy was met with Rarity's orgasm. Unlike Rarity, she did not bother to wipe her face. She just looked at her lover, began to crawl to her.
CLOP WARNING OVER!
"How was it Rarity?"
"It was... Amazing. I loved it, and I love you Fluttershy."
The two were about to kiss, until they realized where their mouths were.
"Oh, heh heh, I almost forgot that we..."
"It's okay Rarity. Let's just..." Fluttershy yawned, "go to sleep."
Rarity yawned as well, "Sure. Goodnight my love."
"Goodnight Rarity."
The two drifted into sleep. This day was hectic, but in the end, it was still a great day.
Murderface was awake on the couch with a shocked look on his face. He had heard every little noise that the two fillyfoolers made. All he could say was three words.
"Holy f***ing s***."
Murderface wasn't sleeping tonight, not when he had the thought of tiny lesbian horses doing it.
Two changeling drones were flying into one of the openings. They had very important information based on what they saw. They soon were stopped by some of the soldier drones.
"Halt! What is your business with the queen?"
"We have come back with important news!"
"About what? And where are the other two drones?"
"One dead by accident, the other captured! As for the information, there are new humans!"
"WHAT! You may meet the queen then! Go now!"
"Thank you!" The drones soon went over to the throne room, needing to give this information for a tactical advantage.
Queen Chrysalis was sitting in her throne, she was awaiting some of her drones to come back from all the major towns and cities. Ponyville was among the set because of the Elements of Harmony. Those cursed powers dampened her capture of Canterlot enough for Shining Armor and Princess Cadence to cause their love to blow them away. She heard the throne doors open and saw two drones. Curious, didn't I send over four drones?
"What is your business here?"
"You know the humans that stopped the Canterlot takeover?"
"Those damn humans made us reveal ourselves too early! What about it?"
"Five new humans, and they are apparently capable of magic."
"WHAT!"
"Don't worry, they seem to be incompetent, they don't even seem intelligent."
"Really?" Seems suspicious.
"The one with the long, flowing, blond mane is apparently allergic to cilantro."
"Cilantro? You're kidding me?"
"I'm not. As for the Elements of Generosity and Kindness..."
"Yes~."
"They are courting."
"Really! This is good. This is good." Oh delicious love. And those two mares are courting. "How long?"
"From what we hear, 6 months."
"Excellent. Well, wait a minute. Where are the other two?"
"One captured, the other died from an accident."
The queen sighed, "It is a terrible loss, but they're are no longer useful. Thank you, you may rest for now."
"Thank you my queen." The drones left the throne room. The queen soon went over to her bedroom. It was really simplistic for a royal bedroom, but she wasn't seen a sovereign monarch, so whoever made the room wouldn't give her more.
I'll attack in a month, but for now... She turned to the portrait of herself and gave an evil grin. Let them weaken each other.
It was morning in Fluttershy's cabin. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, the grass was growing and...
"S***, F***, PISS!"
Murderface was cranky and tired. He never got any sleep last night, all because he had to wake himself up with his own fart, and hear the two mares... have relations. Murderface tried to imagine them as beautiful women, but it wasn't working.
"I need f***ing coffee! F***!"
Murderface got up from his couch, only to see a white rabbit looking directly into his eyes.
"What the hell do you want?"
The rabbit just hopped onto Murderface's...
"MY BALLS!"
The two mares, who were in bed upstairs heard the screaming and Fluttershy rushed to see what was happening. Needless to say, if she was didn't go as fast as she did, she'd lose a best friend.
"Murderface! What are you doing to Angel Bunny?"
"This f***ing rabbit hit me in the balls! It deserves to be in a f***ing stew!"
Angel was clearly scared. Oh, why'd I try to tell him that I am the head honcho? Why?
"Murderface, put him down."
"Make me!"
Fluttershy then decided to use 'The stare' on Murderface. His reaction was not what she was expecting.
"Wow, that is stupid, trying to scare me with your stare. I'll tell you one thing!" Murderface threw Angel to the side as he slowly walked towards Fluttershy. Fluttershy widened her eyes in surprise. "I don't give a s***, so f*** off! I'm going to town. See you later, bitch!" Murderface slammed the door as he left. Fluttershy was in shock, if Murderface was immune to the stare, what other humans would have this immunity.
"Fluttershy, what happened?"
"Oh Rarity, Murderface just stormed off. I think he's angry."
"Oh dear. You know, we'll get him later. Right now however, I'll meet you in the shower." Rarity finished off with a sultry smile. Fluttershy immediately smiled back, and the two went into the bathroom to clean each other, unaware of one thing that was happening tonight.
"Nightmares Night?"
"Yeah Toki! It's a holiday where we scare other ponies, dress up in costumes, and get candy!"
Toki and Pinkie were having a breakfast of simple cereal and milk. Toki was used to more extravagant meals, but he didn't mind the change of pace, he actually enjoyed it.
"Wowee Pinkie, sounds like the Halloweens from my world."
"Really!"
"Yeah! I gots an ideas!"
"What is it?"
"It ams a special costumes, I'll gets my band to dos it toos."
"What is it? What is it?"
Toki moved closer to her ear and whispered something. Pinkie smiled as widely as ponily possible, and beyond. That sounds really good!
"That sounds really, really good!"
"Yeah, let's gos to Skwisgaar nows. I ams sure that he ams annoyeds at everythings so far."
"Yeppers!"
Pickles woke up feeling extremely refreshed. Clouds were softer than his bed at Mordhaus, and he definitely would just steal a cloud just to sleep on it. He just need booze and drugs and this would be his paradise.
"Man, I need food... and booze."
Pickles went out of his bed and tried to look for the kitchen.
"Where is the damn kitchen?"
"I'll tell you where the damn kitchen is..." Pickles turned around to see Rainbow Dash with a smug look on her face, "Follow me."
Pickles just agreed. He wanted to do drugs, but he left his poisons back home, so booze was the only thing he could use. The duo walked into the kitchen.
"So, uh, what's for breakfast?"
"Just some cereal, I need to get to work quickly."
"Work?"
Rainbow placed some bowls, spoons and a box of cereal with milk on the table. "I am the manager of the weather squad here. And by the way, pegasi can control the weather here."
"Holy s***! That's bitchin'!"
"Yeah, it is! And tonight is Nightmare Night!" Rainbow said with enthusiasm.
"Nightmare Night?"
"It where we dress up in scary costumes and scare ponies." Rainbow planned to dress up as a R63 version of Dempsey, after seeing him fight the changelings 2 months ago.
"Really, sound like Halloween."
"Human holiday?"
"Yes. Now, I got a question."
"Yes?"
"How do I get to the ground?"
Rainbow opened her eyes wider. "I honestly have no idea."
Pickles gave a long sigh. "F***!"
"Huh, sound like Halloween."
"Human holiday?"
"Yeah."
Nathan and Twilight were ready to distribute the rest of the instruments to the band. Twilight had cast a spell on the drums so that they would shrink when not in use. Toki's guitar was tuned and ready to be given to Toki. Murderface's bass was also tuned and ready to handed out. Skwisgaar however...
"You know," Nathan started off, "Pickles still has Skwisgaar's guitar."
"Fine, we'll get the guitar."
"And, my vocal cords are still not to be given away."
"For the umpteenth time Nathan, vocal cords cannot be stolen, unless they are cut out."
"I'm still not giving them away."
"Let's just go." Twilight's balloon was ready for liftoff. The two got on and left the town to the only cloud home near Ponyville. In just a few minutes, they were there. Twilight knocked on the door and saw Pickles walk out.
"Pickles, we need Skwisgaar's guitar. Give it."
"Alright Nathan, but only if I come with."
"Why?" Twilight asked.
"Because Rainbow's got work and I can't just jump down to the ground."
"Huh, well come with then!"
"Nathan, are you sure that..."
"Twilight, Rainbow will understand." Nathan turned to Pickles. "You heard of this holiday called..."
"Nightmare Night." Pickles finished off for Nathan.
"Well, um, yeah. Nightmare Night."
"Honestly, I just want to spend it drinking at a bar."
"Oh no you don't!" Twilight said, "You ruined my friend's bar two night ago, so no booze!"
"What! You f***ing bitch!" Pickles tried to jump in, but Twilight had magic.
"Get the guitar."
Pickles was pissed, but nonetheless said, "Fine."
Twilight released Pickles and he went inside. Two minutes later, he came back with Skwisgaar's guitar.
"Let's go."
"Alright Pickles." Twilight said as Pickles went in the balloon and the trio went to the hospital.
"Okay Skwisgaar, you are okay to go." Nurse Redheart said, giving Skwisgaar the stamp of health.
"Thank yous, Nurse Redhearts. I ams ready to gos out into the worlds now."
"Why do speak like that?"
"Like whats?"
Nurse Redheart was annoyed, but she kept a cool head, "Just sign these papers, and leave."
"Alright." Skwisgaar read the papers, just some release forms that had no strings attached, so he signed them. He soon left and saw a hot-air balloon reach the ground. He saw three familiar faces in it.
"Hellos guy. How ams yous?"
"Just great Skwisgaar. Here!" Nathan tossed Skwisgaar his guitar, and made him so happy.
"Ah sött! My guitars!" Skwisgaar began to play and made another spell, causing Murderface to appear, apparently screaming in fear.
"It was not me! It was Skwisgaar who killed your sister! AHHHH!"
"Murderface, why ams you screaming?"
Murderface stopped for a moment to see his bandmates, save Toki, surrounding him. "What the hell happened?"
"You were screaming like a bitch, Murderface." Said Pickles.
"Ah, f*** you, Pickles! F*** you!"
"Guys..." Twilight said.
"What?!"
"Umm, here." Twilight took out Murderface's bass while the drums began to grow back to their original size. The two because ecstatic.
"My drum set!"
"And, they can shrink for easy storage, just think it."
Pickles thought it and indeed they shrunk.
"Aw, sweet!"
"And my bass is tuned." Murderface said.
"Now, let's find Toki."
"Already heres, Twilight." The group turned to Toki and Pinkie, Toki had a box in his hands.
"Oh, hey Toki. I've got something for you." Twilight got out Toki's guitar, and gave it to him.
"Thanks you Twilight."
"You're welcome, and what's with the box?"
"It ams for Nightsmare Nights." Toki opened the box to reveal its contents, simple facepaint.
"Umm, why do yous haves facepaints, Toki?"
"Simple Skwisgaar. Wes ams using this for our costumes."
"Huh?" Murderface was confused, as was Skwisgaar.
"We'll explain." Said Twilight.
-5 minutes later-
"Sounds like..."
"Halloween. I heard, many times."
"Okay... So what does the make-up have to do with anything?"
"You can'ts guess?" Toki asked.
Murderface looked at it, and soon knew what Toki was talking about.
"Oh, f*** no. I don't give a s*** about Halloween and related s***!"
"Me neither."
"What the..."
The group turned to see a human fade into the world. It was...
"How did you get here?" Asked Twilight.
"Let me tell you, I don't give a f***! Holy s***! My swears are being bleeped, with guitar riffs! This is bulls***!"
"What..."
"F*** the police! Imma outta here! And remember, I don't give a F************!" 60's Spiderman said as he faded out of this world. Nathan was the one who recovered first.
"What the f***."
(A/N Halloween is coming, pack the candy corn and rewatch Luna Eclipsed. Halloween chapter out now! See Dethklok drunk again!)
It was sunset, and the band was together in Twilight's library. They had all put on corpse facepaint on, giving them an undead look.
"Do we have to put on this makeup, Toki?" Nathan asked.
"Of course! Betters than costumes, right!"
"I guess so. But it sucks we can't f***ing drink!"
"I know! What the hell!" Pickles said.
"I still wondering how that guy just appeared in this world guys." Murderface said. "And what did he mean that his swears were being bleeped, I heard them just fine."
"You know, you're right. Was he crazy or something?"
"Nah, he seemed to be a bigger dick than me."
"Someone, a bigger dick, than you." Nathan said.
"Yep!"
"Huh."
The group was silent, and they were waiting. Twilight soon came out in her costume.
"What do you think boys?"
The band looked at Twilight and raised their eyebrows. She was dressed up in doctors outfit, but it was different. It had a medical sign on the flank and she had a strange backpack on. She also had small frame glasses and a tie was well tucked in the costume.
"Umm, cool... guys."
The band just half-heartedly agreed it was an interesting costume, which annoyed Twilight.
"You know, last year, no one even understood what my costume was."
"Well, a doctor is obvious."
"I hate doctors." Murderface remarked.
"Why?"
"Well Twilight, doctors are weird. They say they'll help you, but they actually jack you off. They're like, 'You have a hernia, let me check your balls!', Think about it!"
"You're just being irrational."
"Doctors may be weird, but dentists are even weirder. They f*** with your teeth and your teeth are connected to your brain. When your teeth rot, your brain rots, and then you die!" Nathan said.
"Hamburger Time!" Pickles pointed out. Hamburger Time was a term Dethklok used instead of die, dying or death.
"Hamburger Time, right."
"Hamburger Time?"
"We use thats instead of word related to deaths, Twilight." Toki said.
"Huh..." Yeah, I don't even know.
"And guys, why can't we gets a lady boob to cleans our teeth."
The group was silent, before chuckling a little. Nathan began to talk.
"Man, that idea is..."
"That a billion dollar idea right there, Toki."
"Yeah Murderface, that is a billion dollar idea! Cleaning your teeth with tits!"
Twilight deadpanned. Ugh, these guys are so immature.
Rarity was trying to get her lover to come out of the closet (literally) after the two learned tonight was Nightmare Night.
"Fluttershy, come out!"
"NO! I DON'T WANNA!"
Rarity shook her head. The moment she had to be loud is while she's hiding.
"Fluttershy, it's just costumes and candy! There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of!"
"THERE IS... THERE IS..."
"Fluttershy!" Rarity was determined to get her marefriend out of hiding, even if it took all night. "I promise you, I'll protect you, make you safe! I promise!"
Silence, it was like so for a few minutes. It was broken when Fluttershy opened the door to reveal herself. She spoke.
"Promise?"
"I do, my love." Rarity gave Fluttershy a peck on the lips to enhance the effect. "I promise."
Fluttershy looked thoughtful for a few moments, before saying, "Alright, I go out."
"Perfect, because I have some costumes for us to wear." Rarity took out some costumes from a box hidden in the corner of the room. Fluttershy took one long look, and got a confused look.
"You expect me to wear that?" Fluttershy said, pointing at a questionable costume.
"Of course not! I expect you wear this!" Rarity said, giving Fluttershy arguably the most scary of the two costumes.
"Oh, dear..."
Rainbow Dash was already in her costume of Tank Dempsey, so she decided to visit Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres to see how she was doing after her Leukemia treatment.
"Sorry you couldn't join us for Nightmare Night, Applejack. You would have loved to see the new humans."
"Nah, Ah wouldn't." Applejack started, "By what ya told me, those guys seem tah be missin' a few screws."
"Whatever, I think my costume is going to wow them!"
"You dressed up as Dempsey. If Ah didn't know better, Ah'd think you had a crush on him."
Rainbow Dash got a blush on her cheeks. The stubble she put on for her costume didn't cover the blush at all.
"Shu... Shut up Applejack!"
"Oh mah goodness, Ya do have a crush on him!"
"Do not!"
"Ah'm just joking around Rainbow. Ya have fun, and keep an eye on Apple Bloom for me, alright?"
"Fine, I will. But that won't stop me from pulling some awesome pranks."
Applejack chuckled as she snuggled into her bed more. "Ya do have fun Rainbow, and tell me what those humans do for me, will ya."
"Yes sir!" Rainbow said, before speeding out the window, closing it on the way out.
Applejack chuckled. "Ah expect trouble. Oh yes, Ah do." And when it happens, Ah will have to hear all about it. Applejack was soon out like a light.
"I sure do hope you enjoy Nightmare Night tonight Luna."
"Thanks Tia."
The two princesses were preparing for tonight's celebrations, Luna especially.
"So, What do you think of my costume Tia?"
"It is..." Celestia tried to find a word for Luna's costume, "Scary, but a bit overdone."
"But I always go as my darker self, Nightmare Moon!"
"Well, at least you are now speaking like a regular pony now."
"It took a few years, but I finally did it!"
"Yep, you better go now, it's almost time."
"Let me raise the moon first, then I'll go."
"Excellent. Keep an eye on Dethklok too."
"Alright, but they are not to drink."
"I agree, especially after what happened a few nights ago."
Both princesses laughed at the fact. Luna went to the balcony to raise the moon and soon left for her tour of fearful fun.
Pinkie Pie had already dressed up in her costume.
"Yep, I'm Pinkiepool, the mare with the mouth!"
The cakes were giving confused looks. Mr. Cake began to speak.
"How did you get the idea?"
"Just thought of it."
A man soon appeared with a flash with another Pinkie Pie.
"Hmm, Just another Equestria!"
"Boring!"
"Let's blow this taco stand!"
The two visitors then disappeared in a flash, confusing even Pinkie Pie from this universe.
"What was that?"
Mr. and Mrs. Cake just opened their mouths, but no words came out. Deciding this wasn't important, they just went to dress up for Nightmare Night. Pinkie Pie decided it was time.
"Time for candy!"
Pinkie dashed downstairs and soon rushed through the streets, meeting with a group of foals that were trick or treating. Among them was a very familiar colt to Pinkie.
"Pipsqueak, how are you?"
"Just fine Pinkie. Look at me, I'm a valiant knight!" Pipsqueak decided to dress up as a knight in shining armor this Nightmare Night.
"Great to hear, let's go trick or treating! Let's start over there!"
The foals cheered and soon dashed for the house Pinkie pointed to. This Night was going to be very interesting.
Dethklok and Twilight were walking towards the center of town.
BANG!!!
Nathan was the only one who didn't flinch, he just looked up to see Rainbow Dash dressed up as a man.
"Rainbow, why did you dress up as a dude?"
Murderface recovered next and heard the question, then looked at rainbow. "Hey yeah, why are you dressed up as a dude?"
"Remember when we told you about the first humans here?"
"Umm, uhh, mmm, yeah. Yeah we do." Nathan said.
"Well I thought one of them was cool enough, so I dressed up as Tank Dempsey."
The group was silent, except for Skwisgaar using his guitar to float an apple to his face to take a bite out of it.
"Who is Tank Dempsey?" Nathan asked.
"Oh, that I can explain." Twilight began. "About two months ago, two humans appeared in Equestria, one a drunk named Nikolai, the other a war buff named Tank Dempsey."
Nathan looked thoughtful, as was Pickles.
"Basicly, Dempsey was the more tolerable of the two for two reasons, one mainly because Nikolai was constantly drunk and very incompetent, and other being that he knew the limits of each of us better."
"Okay..."
It was silent for a good few minutes, before something caught Twilight's attention.
"Wait... Fluttershy?"
"Oh, umm, yes. I'm here."
Twilight was amazed at the fact that Fluttershy would come out for Nightmare Night, and even more surprised at the fact that she dressed up as a vampire seductress, with a long flowing cape, face powdered to the point that it was pale, fake blood poured out her mouth, and her mane tied up in a bun. Rarity followed, dressed as an apparent victim of the make-believe vampire, complete with nice clothing, fake blood to simulate puncture wounds on her neck, and her hair styled so that it is pure black and flowing. The group was surprised to see the two come up with such... such...
"Whoa, those costumes are f***ing brutal!" Nathan noted.
"Thank you Nathan! I designed them myself. Your costumes however seem a bit..." Rarity tapped her chin with her hoof to try to think of a word to describe Dethklok's costumes. "...plain."
"We are humans, we are scary already."
"And we ams the death metals band. I knows we can makes the musics kill the monster." Skwisgaar added.
"I guess."
"Yeah."
An awkward silence followed between the nine. Only the noises from the surrounding ponies were heard. It was a good few minutes before Pinkie Pie came into the equation.
"HIYA GUYS!"
"Hellos Pinkie. How ams yous?"
"Good! I got lots of candy for myself later."
"Oh, okay." I hates being the diabetics. Nos sweet for me.
It was at that point the mayor came in, dress up as a mad scientist, complete with a crazy hairdo, goggles, and a lab coat with some pseudo-burn marks. She began to speak.
"Welcome to another Nightmare Night! I am so glad you all came out to enjoy tonight. For those of you who already gotten candy tonight, we will tell you all the tale of... Nightmare Moon." The mayor laughed in a spooky manner, which considering her costume this year, well fitting.
"This better be good! I can't enjoy this place if it's boring all the time." Nathan yelled out.
"Yeah, and the hospitals don't have the good foods eithers!"
"And you live next to a monster-infested forest! What the he..." The five bandmates were brought to Twilight's face.
"Shut it!" She said in a hushed voice.
"Whys?" Toki asked.
"Just shut it or I'll have the princess lock you up for disorderly conduct!"
"Okay, fine. Jeez."
"I know, right!" Murderface said.
At that moment Zecora appeared on stage to discuss the origins of Nightmare Night, but Dethklok wasn't really paying attention.
"Man, this is boring." Pickles said.
"Yep." Murderface said.
They just walked with the ponies to a statue of Nightmare Moon, just outside of Ponyville.
"You know, this place is totally gay." Nathan said.
"Totallys." Skwisgaar said.
"I agree with you Nathan, I really do."
"Right Pickles."
At that point, the clouds began to swirl, and out came a chariot pulled by ponies with bat wings. The rider was Princess Luna, Ponyville was her last stop, and her scariest stop too. She got out of her chariot, and began to speak.
"CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! NIGHTMARE MOON IS HERE!!!"
All the ponies screamed in fear, dropped their candy, and ran away. The five caretaker mares stood by Dethklok. Murderface and Toki ran behind Nathan. Skwisgaar and Pickles just stood there slack-jawed. Nathan however never so much as flinched. 'Nightmare Moon' walked to the band, and spoke in a smug tone.
"So, was I scary?"
The band looked confused, and they didn't know what to do, except for Nathan.
"Yeah, it was totally scary. But I wasn't scared. I'm f***ing tough."
"No you're not." Said Murderface, which resulted in a punch in the gut.
"Ahh!"
"Shut up Murderface."
"Whatever." Murderface took out a cigarette and lit it, and inhaled the nicotine-laced smoke.
"What is that?" Luna asked.
"It's mine, so shut up!"
Luna just deadpanned.
"So, ready to scare some more Luna?" Twilight asked.
"Of course! See you later. And Twilight."
"Yes princess?"
"Keep an eye on Dethklok, they can be trouble."
"Right!"
Luna dashed to Ponyville to do some scarring. Toki began to speak.
"What was thats about?"
"She does this every Nightmare Night, she comes here, scares the ponies, and gets candy. It's fun for all of them." Twilight said.
"It does sounds fun! I'd likes to be scary!" Toki said.
"You're about as scary as a cat Toki." Nathan said.
"Hey!"
"I'm hungry, what's for dinner?" Pickles said.
The mares looked at the humans. What could they eat?
"You know, that yellow pony can make a bitchin' curry!"
"Really? How do you know Murderface." Nathan said.
"I had it last night. It's f***ing delicious!"
"Really?"
"Oh, umm, I do make food for my animal friends. You pick up a few recipes as a result." Fluttershy said in the most modest tone she could put on.
"That sounds..." Nathan tried to find the perfect word to say. His usual ways of describing things were either too harsh for the pegasus or too kind. He thought of something. "I don't know. But I am hungry, give us some curry for dinner."
"Oh okay, meet me near Twilight's while I go home to cook the meal."
The band agreed and the group of 10 split up.
-37 minutes later, at Twilight's library-
The group had some curry and were very impressed. Toki and Skwisgaar did feel a bit warm, but they enjoyed it nonetheless.
"F***ing delish." Nathan said.
"Yeah, it ams the s***s." Skwisgaar said.
"I did likes it." Toki said.
"I just wish there was booze." Pickles said.
"Sorry, but you're not getting any..."
"Hey guys! I just realized that we cans use the magics to summons the booze here!" Skwisgaar said.
"I highly..."
Skwisgaar played an epic guitar solo that made an area glow. That area soon got a mountain of all the raw booze any person could imagine, and more. Dethklok widened their eyes, and Twilight as well. She knew one thing.
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
Luna was done having fun with the children and decided to check on the humans here.
"I just hope that they aren't doing anything foalish."
Luna approached Berry Punch, who was dressed up as a zombie.
"Excuse me, but do you know where the humans are?"
"Oh yes princess, they went over there, And also thanks for paying for the damages to my bar for me."
"My pleasure! After all, we did take them there."
"Right, just make sure they aren't drunk again, Nikolai at least didn't break anything while drunk."
"I will make sure! Goodbye my little pony, AND HAPPY NIGHTMARE NIGHT!" Luna said the last part in the royal Canterlot voice, throwing back Berry a few meters. She still had a habit of doing that every once in awhile. She saw what she had done, and chuckled a little.
"I'm sorry, I'll just go now."
"It's okay, just go and check on them."
After a few minutes, she arrived at Twilight's library, and saw a few books thrown out a window. Twilight ran through the front door and saw Luna.
"Princess, thank goodness! Dethklok just found a way to get alcohol!"
"WHAT!"
"They summoned it with magic!"
"Magic? But that is..."
"I'll explain later, just stop them before they wreak havoc in Ponyville!"
"Right!" Luna went into the library and saw four cowering mares and five drunk men who were destroying the library by a variety of ways. Toki was especially destructive.
"Oh f***! I am soooos drunk, motherf********eeeerrrssss!" Toki vomited on Rarity's hair.
"MY HAIR!"
"HA HA! I vomitsed in yours hair. It ams so... bleegh!"
"My costume!"
Toki just cheered louder. Pickles and Nathan...
"How about we play a game of headbutts!" Pickles said.
"F*** yeah!"
The two charged. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
HEADBUTT! The two knocked each other out. Skwisgaar jumped out a window and ran away. Luna didn't notice as she prevented Murderface from destroying the books in the library and tied him up with Toki and the unconscious duo. Only then did she realized that someone was missing.
Charles was in his office, trying to find a way to get back his band, and possibly his only real family. He took a piece out of his apple pie and ate it. It seemed that pie was the only way to relive the stress he had gotten so far. After swallowing, he thought about one thing.
Those guys are going to kill themselves if I don't watch over them. I need to get to them.
Charles got up and walked over to the metal technology wing in Mordhaus. As the lights passed him in the elevator, he also had some thoughts.
Who's watching them anyway? Will there be any people dying there? How will they survive for a month without me? I hate to admit it, but they truly need me, especially after that fiasco with Mordhaus renovations. Charles thought of the time when he heard that Dethklok spent $106,788,500,000 on renovating Mordhaus. Even a man who didn't know the value of a dollar would think that that was an insane amount of money wasted. He was just glad that most of the renovations were gone, but Pickles' furniture stayed as a compromise.
Charles had reached the tech wing and saw some scientists. He walked up to them and spoke to them.
"Tell me what you have."
"Well..." Spoke the scientist. "We got a way to the world they're in at least."
"To them?"
"Yes, but it's going to take a lot of energy."
"I don't care, they could be hurting themselves as we speak."
The scientist looked nervous, but nonetheless led the CFO to the device.
"We had managed to duplicate the exact circumstances that brought Dethklok to that alternate world. All we need to do was to hit the music and we'll have people go to that world."
"I'll need some top scientists, a large number of the klokateers, and some materials to build the device when we get there." Charles said, realizing that they could build the device there instead and save time.
"Are you..."
"Of course I'm sure! Do it!"
"Right away!" The scientist ran off, leaving Charles to think long and hard about what was to come.
"Ugh, what happeneds."
Skwisgaar had woken up in an unfamiliar place and with a hangover. He got up and looked around.
"Where ams I?"
Skwisgaar stepped outside and...
"AHH Ohpph!"
Skwisgaar fell out of a treehouse.
"OPM!" Skwisgaar's guitar also fell on him.
"Of all the stupids f***ing lucks I ams havings, this ams the absolutes worst things possible." Skwisgaar said in a low tone, picking up his guitar and looking over to where he thought Ponyville was. He took one step and noticed something else.
"Huh. Oh looks, three filly lookings at me. That ams not weirds or anything." Skwisgaar walked off not giving a damn about anything. Sweetie Belle spoke up.
"Who was that?"
"Ah dunno." Apple Bloom said "But he messed up our treehouse!"
"Let's get him!" Scootaloo said, garnering nods from the other two.
Skwisgaar heard something behind him, those three fillies.
"Oh for the loves of Freya." Skwisgaar took off, his hangover wasn't making things any easier. He was managing to stay ahead of the fillies, but just barely.
The first thing Toki woke up to was a hangover, then he noticed that he was tied up. He also noticed that he was tied up to his fellow bandmates. When he saw Twilight, he felt really guilty.
"Oh nos, did we gets drunk and messed ups your libraries Twilight?" Toki said.
"Not only that, but you harassed my friends and damaged some of my books. I would have you guys a pay for it, but I've come to realize that you're too stupid to work, so you're just going to have more supervision." Twilight said in a way that a parent would say to scorn a child. Toki noticeably flinched at this scornful manner. "Understand?"
"Yes." Toki said, looking down.
"Good! When the others are ready to behave, you'll be untied."
Murderface farted as Twilight finished her sentence.
"Celestia have mercy on you Toki Wartooth."
Toki just sighed. He was rarely the voice of reason, but when he was, he did it for the right reason. He just hoped these mares would not die like the rest of his friends did.
"Sire, we are ready!"
"Good! We'll send a test subject first. #412294, you''ll be our test subject." Charles said.
"Yes sire!" Said the klokateer, hopping on a simple, 'metal' circular ring with glass on top of it. The scientist hit the switch.
WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
The klokateer saw the lights, and disappeared a few moments later.
"We got a lock on him?" Charles asked.
"Yes sire!"
"Hmmm, where am I?" Asked #412294. He looked to see a dragon, licking it's lips.
"OH FU..." The dragon bit into the ground the human was at and swallowed. He then flew away.
"The beacon is moving quickly sire, is that suppose to happen?"
"No, no it's not." Charles said. "Test it again!"
Nathan was trying not to yell at Murderface and Pickles during one of their fights.
"It's your f***ing fault that we're tied up Pickles!"
"MY FAULT! You were the one causing property damage!"
"Well you had to play headbutts, did ya?!"
"I was drunk, ya douchebag!"
"You two, shut the hell UP!" Nathan said, feeding his own hangover as a result. It worked thought, the two shut up. Toki spoke up.
"Hey, where ams Skwisgaars?"
"I don't know Toki, maybe he's bedding old ladies again." Pickles said, garnering a look from Twilight, who was watching the four.
Skwisgaar has a thing for the elderly? At this point, even that is not a surprise!
At that point, the door opened to reveal somepony she hadn't seen in a few days.
"Applejack, aren't you supposed to..."
"Yeah, but Apple Bloom just had tah show me this thang." Applejack dragged in Skwisgaar, who was tied up in crude knots, obviously from a result of a struggling prey, in this case, Skwisgaar.
"Wowee Skwisgaar, yous got tieds up! It's so..." Toki laughed a bit, clearly trying to downplay the guitarist.
"Yeah yeah, yous ams still not the level of guitars playings that I haves Toki." Skwisgaar said in an unamused tone.
Twilight shook her head, but Toki just looked at the new mare. "I sorrys, but who ams you?"
Applejack nodded and introduced herself. "The name's Applejack, farmer of Sweet Apple Acres just outside of Ponyville. Ah also happen to have heard of ya five too, especially when ya get drunk." She finish in a smug tone.
"No! We're not five!" Nathan said.
"What, that wasn't even... nevermind, yer crazy."
Twilight just shook her head lightly. "So Applejack, you getting better after the treatment?"
"Yep, Ah just can't work right now, which sucks mighty." Applejack said. "Ah have to get treatments every six months, that eats into mah worktime Twi!"
"I know, but you're still have to get them."
"Wait, treatment?" Nathan said.
"Yeah, Leukemia."
"That is f***ing brutal man!"
Applejack raised an eyebrow at his colorful language, but nonetheless just looked back at Twilight.
"Okay, Twi, ya keep an eye on these here humans, if they're like Nikolai, they will cause trouble when near liquor."
"Right Applejack, I will."
"Ahem, if I may..."
The two mares looked over to the door to see two humans, both of them they haven't seen before. One spoke.
"Would you please untie those guys, I need to talk to them..."
-20 minutes ago-
Charles, after the second attempt was contempt with going again, so he gather the klokateers needed, 17 in fact, to perform the task at hand, getting Dethklok back.
"Ready." He said.
"Yes sire, good to go!"
"Hit it!"
The machine roared to life, in the bowels of Mordhaus. As it did however...
"Charles, are you... Holy f***ing crap!" Said a blond man with robotic eyes.
"Dick, now's not the time."
"Right, I'll be, not here." Dick Knubbler walked away but slipped on an empty soda can laying on the ground, falling into the machine as it was in the final phase, and the group of 19 disappeared. One of the scientist picked up the can.
"Who drank Dr. Pepper on their lunch break?"
One of them raised his hand.
"Take him to the punishment room!"
The unlucky klokateer was grabbed by two others and dragged away to the punishment room for a few weeks of horror and psychological harm, nothing too serious.
Charles had landed on his feet when he looked over the rest of the group.
"Ah, f***! What the hell!" Dick Knubbler said, picking himself up from the ground.
"What happened, what made you slip?" Charles said.
"A f***ing soda can, that's what! Where am I?"
The group looked around to see that they were in a forest of some sorts. "No idea."
ROAR!
"What was that?" Dick asked, visibly scared.
"I don't know, but we should move."
The others agreed and went out. After about 5 minutes of walking, they reached a hole in the canopy and rested.
GRRR!
"Okay, there is something following us, like, right now!" Knubbler said, worried.
"I'll check it out sire." A klokateer said, grabbing a knife to fight the animal with. He approached a bush and looked through it.
"Huh, nothing. I guess..."
At that point something came out, a hydra, and bit into the klokateer, severing him in half.
"HOLY F***ING S***! RUN!" Knubbler said in a very panicked tone, running away with Charles. The klokateers stayed and fought however, a tail sliced three in half, one of which was vertically, another five were eaten, and four were crushed by its feet. The remaining four just attacked, but were knocked away into the forest. Two were stabbed into the tree branch, their organs hanging along the branch. One broke his neck and died, and the last one fell onto something soft.
"Huh, I'm alive I'm al..."
GRAH!
The klokateer looked around to see a grizzly bear looking eye to eye with the unlucky man.
"Oh no..."
The bear clawed the man's face, tearing it into a disfigured look, with bone exposed and an eye hanging out. The bear then took a bite at his neck and caused him to squirt much of his blood out. The bear then began to eat him up.
Dick Knubbler and Charles Foster Ofdensen had gotten out of the forest alive, but visibly exhausted. Charles was just glad to know his suit was okay. He look around to see one thing he was not used to seeing. Bright colors. The two looked at each other and without words, they set off to find Dethklok. They didn't look far, they chose saw Skwisgaar get dragged by an orange pony with a stetson on its head.
"What the... a horse?" Dick said in disbelief.
"No, a pony. We have to move."
The two moved, following the pony and reaching a building made out of a tree. Dick was slacked jawed, but he could note quite a few things. The two walked towards the building. Dick walked up to Charles.
"I don't like it here, they're staring at me, it's unnerving!"
"Don't worry, we're almost there."
The two were at the door and Charles opened it. He had overheard part of a conversation.
"Okay, Twi, ya keep an eye on these here humans, if they're like Nikolai, they will cause trouble when near liquor."
"Right Applejack, I will."
"Ahem, if I may..."
The two ponies turned towards the humans and Charles spoke up.
"Would you please untie those guys, I need to talk to them, alone."
"And you are?" Asked the orange pony.
"Hey Charles." Nathan said, not really getting the tense atmosphere.
"Wait, you know him?" The purple pony asked.
"Yeah, he's our manager. And he brought our recording guy too."
"By complete accident, one that almost got me mauled by a f***ing hydra!" Dick said, his robotic eyes glowing red from clear anger.
"Oh dear..." The purple pony said. "This cannot end well."
"And maybe later I can asked about those eyes you have."
"What, these old things?" Dick said as he tapped the robotic eyes he had. "Yeah, these are to replace my old eyes."
"What happened?" Twilight asked, thinking it was violent.
"Decompression sickness." Dick said simply.
"Oh, okay. I'm going to be... getting my friends, bye!" Twilight dashed out and closed the door, leaving the farm mare and the seven humans. Charles then spoke up.
"Okay, I would ask if you guys got in trouble, but I can see you already have."
"Yeah yeah, untie us you robot!" Murderface said.
"Yeah, unties us!" Toki agreed.
"Yeah, untie us!" Pickles said.
"Unties me, you f***ing robots!" Skwisgaar said.
"Yeah, untie us, or you're fired." Nathan said.
"Very well then, you mind helping us?" Charles asked Applejack.
"Of course, these here humans are just stupid."
"That's right, we can't do anything right! Except be death metal musicians!" Nathan said in a bellowing tone.
"Right right, I'll take care of Skwisgaar, you get the rest, okay?"
"That's fine."
"Alright."
"Good." Dick said as he approached the tied guitarist.
"Be carefuls, I have rashes from being draggeds from the apples farm." Skwisgaar said.
"I will."
After about 15 minutes, the five man band was untied and ready to talk.
"Okay so what are we..."
"AVATACO!"
"Holy s***!" Dick said as he fell backwards.
"Hehehehe! You look funny!" Pinkie said, hanging upside down.
"Oh, his Pinksie!" Toki said.
"Hi Toki!"
"Wow, how she breaks the laws of gravity is beyond me." Pickles said.
"Gravity, who gives a dang about gravity?"
At that point, Nathan tried something.
"I don't give a damn about gravity!"
Those lyrics caused gravity to turn off in the library.
"What's going on?" Spike said as floated aimlessly into the main area.
"Gravity is off! WEEEE!" Pinkie said as she hopped around in zero gravity.
"Yeah, I did it with my voice, it's awesome! Watch! RAGHHHHHHHHH-"
"What the hell?" Murderface said as he got surrounded by an aura again.
"Oh you son of a... AHHHHHHH! OPH! AHHHHHHH! OPH! AHHHHHHH! F***!"
Nathan continued to scream and fling Murderface around the room when the other four mares came to the library.
"What is goin...whoa!" Twilight was wondering why there was no gravity, or how Pinkie got here first.
"Twilight, help me!" Spike said, scared about what was happening.
"Yeah Twi, help us mighty!" Applejack said, more confused than scared.
"Fine, But I have no idea what caused this!"
"I did it with my voice, it's awesome! I can also do this." Nathan said as he coughed a bit to clear his throat. "Hey guy, I'm talking with quiet voice."
"Holy s***s! That's amazings!" Skwisgaar said.
"It's just mimicry." Pickles said.
"Mimicsry, mimicsry."
"Yeah, that's alright but I can totally make my voice sound like a trumpet."
"I doubt that!" Pinkie said.
"Just watch. WHA WHA WHA WHAAAAAA!"
"Ho-ly crud."
"Well, I'll admit that was good Pickles, good job." Rarity said, still not going inside with the zero gravity situation.
"Right, so how about I..."
"Turn on the damned gravity Nathan!" Twilight said in an annoyed tone. There was a quiet pause, not even flies buzzed around, mainly because of no gravity.
"Fine, you don't need to be a stuck up bi..."
"Shut up and do it!"
"Fine! Gravitron is destroyed, Return to normalcy!" At that, the gravity turned back to normal. Dethklok and Charles landed on their feet, Dick and Spike landed on their backs, Twilight and Applejack landed on their sides and Pinkie Pie stayed in the air. The three mares outside were careful, but when they saw the gravity was normal again, so they went in.
"Okay, that went better than I expected." Charles said.
"Oh my, that's a very nice suit you're wearing sir!" Rarity said, looking at the new human.
"Thank you."
"Okay okay, we need to know what is going on right now!" Twilight said.
"Right, so I'll just..."
Knock knock!
"I'll get it!" Rainbow said. When she opened the door, she looked around, until she heard something crawl inside. "What the..." Rainbow gasped.
A Klokateer was missing his lower torso, guts trailing behind him, masked partially ripped and bleeding out.
"Number 42042, what happened?" Charles asked.
"All dead, hydra, bear, dragons, poison ivy." The Klokateer gave his last breath. The mares in the room were sick to their stomach. Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike couldn't hold it, and vomited. Rarity fainted at the sight, and Twilight and Rainbow were just standing there, shocked.
"Oh my..." Twilight didn't know what to say, so she said the first thing that came to her mind.
After about an hour of the royal guard removing the body and cleaning the blood from the room, Dethklok, their manager, and the head recorder talked to the Mane 6 in a secluded part of the library. It was actually the same layout as the conference room that Dethklok had so often been in.
"So, is everyone ready?" Charles asked.
"Yes we are." Twilight said.
"Yeah, we're ready." Nathan said.
"Good! To you mares, I am Dethklok's manager, Chief Financial Officer, and lawyer, Charles Foster Ofdensen."
"Nice to meet you Charles, you seem more..." Twilight paused to think of a word to describe Charles without hurting Dethklok's feelings.
"Responsible?"
"Right, thanks. Anyway I'd like to say that we originally came with 19 others, but one was eaten by a dragon, one was crushed by a huge rock, most were killed by a hydra and well, you know the last one."
"Oh Celestia... aren't you, you know, sad?" Rarity asked.
"No, these men knew what they were signing up for when they joined us."
"Yeah, and they have hamburger times on a daily basis." Skwisgaar said.
"Hamburger time?" Rainbow asked, before Twilight motioned the other mares out of the room.
"Okay you five, we have out top scientists working on a way out of here..."
"Good! This place sucks my balls." Murderface said.
"Yeah, and the moon pony ams the total dildo douchebags too." Skwisgaar said.
"Yeah we f***ing hate this place. F*** it and the ponies. This place is not f***ing metal or brutal." Nathan said.
It was silent in the room for a few minutes before the mares came back in visibly disturbed. They sat down while Charles stared. He then spoke up.
"Look, like it or not, we're stuck for a few weeks, so you better get used to it."
"Fine, this place is full of douches anyways." Pickles said.
"Well Pickles, I don't like this place as much as you do, but now that the shock of nearly dying had pass over for me, I guess I'll just look into being a watchful eye, so to speak." Dick said.
"When your eyes are robotic, that is kinda ironic, and I mean ironic." Pinkie said.
"Yes, well..."
Murderface then spoke up. "Hey guys, I just got this totally cool idea!"
"NO!" Dick said, his eyes glowing red for a few seconds before returning to normal.
"Why not?"
"Let's take a look at your 'failures.'"
"Oh, my failures."
"Number one, Murderface's Titty Time Car Wash. Hot women wash your car."
"I stand by that idea."
"Made no money and a series of lawsuits."
"I did not touch those f***ing girls!" The mares at this point confused at what was happening, but just listened.
"The lawsuits weren't from the girls, they were from the drivers for vehicle damages. Number two, the 'Murderface Planet Piss Cologne.'"
"What about it?"
"Hugh failure, the FDA found traces of urine in each and every bottle, causing painful and irreversible rashes to break out on all users' bodies."
"That's the point, my piss is in every bottle! What's not good about that?" Rarity seemed distinctly grossed out at the mention of urine in cologne. Was this guy idiotic or something?
"And number three, The Murderface home pyrotechnics kit. You all can guess why that failed, can you?"
They all nodded and simply sat there.
"So that's why you can never give out ideas William, understand?"
"I guess so."
"Good."
"TWILIGHT, TWILIGHT!"
"What is it Spike?"
"A letter from Princess Celestia, she's coming here to see if there are any new humans."
"What, how'd she..."
"We may have something to do with this. Let me handle this." Charles said.
"But..."
"Trust me, I'm more competent than most humans you met."
Twilight bit her lip, but decided there was no point in not letting him.
"Fine, but be nice."
"Trust me, I'm all business."
"Yeah, by the way Charles, where's my f***ing cheeseburger?"
"I had Pierre get the order for when we get back, I bet you can wait three weeks for a burger, right?"
"Well I want it now."
"We have no beef, or bacon."
"F***!"
Fluttershy was visibly sickened at the thought of animals being eaten, but she knew it was survivalist of them. Most ponies were disgusted at the idea of 'ponies' eating meat in the first place.
"I'll wait in the main floor." Charles said, walking out of the room with Dick.
"I hope this goes better than when you came here."
"Well maybe we should keep an eye out for jerks, that want to kill us, for no good reason."
"Please, when will that happen?"
They waited for an answer, but no response.
"Exactly!"
Charles was at the main library floor with Dick, while reading a book on the history of Equestria. He needed to know this place first. He was finished with the pre-Nightmare Moon era when Celestia came in, blinding Dick with the powerful sun ray.
"Ahh, my eyes!"
Celestia laughed a bit as she went into the library. She looked at the two and spoke.
"So, you must be the new humans in Equestria. Welcome!"
"Thank you princess, I'll just get to the point. The sooner you can get Dethklok and us out of here, the better."
"You know of them?"
"I'm their manager, CFO and lawyer."
"And I'm the recording manager." Dick said.
"Please tell me you are more intelligent then those men."
"We are, they are just used to being waited hand and foot so to speak."
"Hmm, and you?"
"I make sure they earn money and don't waste it. Believe me, when I was gone, they wasted an unbelievable amount."
"While they keep saying 'F*** money' and I quoted that of course." Dick said.
"Really, then they're going to have a bad time." Celestia said in a hidden smug tone.
"Well let's try to get on better terms, how about we arrange a meeting later today?"
"Sounds good, I'll send for a chariot later in the afternoon. Okay?"
"Sounds great princess, I'll tell them."
"Good, what is your name, by the way?"
"Charles Foster Ofdensen."
"Princess Celestia."
"Nice to meet you, I'll see you later."
"Me too." Celestia walked out of the room, pleasantly surprised at the two humans' behavior. Maybe most humans are not so stupid and violent after all.
Charles walked to the meeting room to talk to the rest of them.
"Okay, I met the princess, she's very nice and I arranged a meeting with her at the capital, you are all coming with me."
"Do we have to?" Pickles asked.
"Yes Pickles, you do. And I want you five to be on your best behavior, one wrong move and we're in a funk."
"Fine, but I'll have you know, her sister is a total dildo."
"You can't talk that way about the Princess in front of us!" Twilight said.
"Well she is. There I said it."
"At least you didn't say it to her face." Charles said.
"Eeyep, let's get ready tah go to Canterlot."
The 13 members agreed and when their separate ways, ready to face... ROYALTY... again.
After a few minutes of discussion, Dick and Toki agreed to go with Pinkie Pie, Murderface decided that a farmpony was better than as he put it, 'A stuck-up bitch with a lesbian girlfriend.' Needless to say, Rarity punched him after so much insults. Nathan went with the couple, along with Skwisgaar. Pickles stayed with Rainbow Dash and Charles decided to stay with Twilight. The 13 split up and Charles was alone with Twilight.
"So, Charles... Please tell me you're smarter than... Dethklok."
"I am. What did they do?"
"They blew up my kitchen, got drunk and ruined the local bar, found out they have magic, Skwisgaar got an allergic reaction, and they got drunk again. That's the short and narrow of it."
"Interesting. They must have done a lot of damage then. I'll have to keep a closer eye on them then."
"Right then..."
"I'll also have to ask the princess for some money."
"No duh, they just got here a few days ago."
"Yeah, well I also have to make sure they don't waste it."
"Why?"
"Believe me, they wasted more money during renovations than the country I was born in did in a decade."
"What! Are they that stupid?"
"Well... yes."
"Oh my goodness." Twilight shook her head as she prepared her supplies to go to the princess' castle.
"Do you really need all that stuff?"
"Um..." Twilight looked to see so many scrolls and parchment and quills packed up, among other things.
"We're going to a meeting, not a vacation. I'm just going to put it out, we need to give a better impression, so when we go, tell the others to let me do the talking."
"Alright, I will."
"Great, let's go get ready."
And the two packed up for this small trip.
"Here we are! Sweet Apple Acres!"
"Fantastic."
Murderface and Applejack had walked over to the farm. The walk here wasn't as long but...
"My f***ing legs hurt. I need a rest." Murder face said as he propped up on a tree.
"Fine, ya take a break and then we git ya to mah home."
Murderface took a deep breath and felt disgusted. He preferred the dank and smelly confines of Mordhaus and rather die there than live here. He took out a cigarette and took a long drag in.
"What's that?"
"It's mine, shut up!" Murderface took another drag of smoke in and breathed the smoke into the farm mare's face. Applejack coughed and felt offended.
"Okay, that's it! Ya'll coming with me." Applejack took out a lasso and tied it around Murderface's ankles and began to drag him home.
"Hey! Let go of me you f***ing bitch! Let! GO!"
"Noph." Applejack simply said with the rope in her mouth.
"F***ing bitch!"
Applejack reached her home and relished her grip on the rope and began to untie him.
"Why me?" Murderface asked himself.
"'Cause yer a jerk."
"Yeah, well f*** you."
Applejack shook her head and finished untying the bassist.
"Imma go git some rest, leukemia takes more out of ya than ya think. Don't ya run off now, ya hear?"
"Find, I'm going to take a piss."
Applejack nodded and went inside while Murderface went to a random tree and took a wizz.
"I hate this place."
Skwisgaar was relaxing in the cottage. He felt really at peace, and the rabbit saw him very pleasantly, maybe his guitar playing had something to do with it.
"So Skwisgaar, tell me. What's was you life at home?" Rarity asked the lead guitarist.
"Right, so my homes ams a places calleds Mordhaus."
"Sounds exotic."
"Nots reallys, it ams full of peoples dyings and the bloods and the soaps puddle."
"Of course it is." Rarity deadpanned.
"Yeah, one thing I ams noticed fors back at homes is my sexes appeal."
"Really? I bet the mares at your home are all over you."
"Yeah, and I bed thems too, especially the GMILF."
Rarity was taken aback, did Skwisgaar just admit hedonist appeals, especially towards the... elderly?
"Erm, I guess you can do that too."
"It also nice to chocks yourselfs with the long rubber cords while jackings off and..."
"Stop, stop, stop! No more of that Skwisgaar. I'm used to the blood and gore that follows you, but hedonism taken to the extreme? That's where I cross the line!" Rarity took out a rope and checked it's strength.
"Big deals, I haves been tieds ups before, espsically when that GMILF..."
"Quiet! I'm gagging you now." Rarity said as she put the rope in Skwisgaar's mouth and began to gag him.
Kinky, too bads she ams the horses. Skwisgaar thought.
Nathan walked in the room with Fluttershy and looked confused, but...
"This is some bitching curry. Murderface was right." Nathan took another bite out of his curry.
"Oh my..." Fluttershy did not know what to think of the sight.
"Nothing personal, he just said some things that constituted gagging."
Nathan just continued eating his curry while Fluttershy nodded.
I f***ing love this curry. I wonder what she made it with.
"Looks at thats."
"Lookie at that!"
"Hey! Looks! It ams the donkeys."
"That's Cranky Doodle Donkey, he's a very nice donkey."
"Neat."
Toki, Dick and Pinkie Pie were taking a walk, Sugarcube Corner wasn't a good place for Toki to stay at with his diabetes, so they went socializing.
"I'm glad this place doesn'ts haves douchebags." Toki said.
"Jerks are everywhere, that why we friends got to stick together!" Pinkie said.
"Yeah!" Toki responded.
"Yep!" Dick agreed with Pinkie.
"I likes you."
"I like you too, but in a way that only friends do, not lovebirds."
"Ugh, I like these ponies so far, but that idea is just sick." Dick said.
"Only if you think so." Pinkie shrugged.
"Yeah, and why dos I have to be left behinds by my bands all the damn times?"
"They do that?" Pinkie said incredulously.
"Yeah. Hey, you gots the pranks?"
Pinkie took out a massive box bigger than her and opened it, Toki looked inside and grinned evilly. He had no idea how Pinkie defies the laws of physics, but hell! Pranking is going to happen.
"Oh f***s yeah." Toki said under his breath.
"Okay, so you are gonna agree that at 8 pm tonight, we have a drinking contest, deal?"
"Yep. Don't have work tomorrow." Rainbow shook her hoof with Pickles' hand.
Celestia had just saw her loyal guards go off to Ponyville to pick up Dethklok. She only hoped for the best.
"Sister, is it such a good idea to let those foals waltz into Canterlot?" Luna asked as she joined Celestia.
"Well, I can only say it'll be interesting, Lulu."
"Be quiet sister, you know I hate that nickname."
"Oh Lulu, you always were so cute when you were annoyed."
"Fine, Cel."
Celestia widened her eyes and looked devious at her sister.
"Touche Lulu."
"Touche Cel."
The two sisters had a quick laugh and trotted back in.
(Due to some strange writers block, I'll be focusing on 6 for a long while, good luck readers.)
The six mares and seven humans gathered around as the chariot landed. Charles spoke up.
"Okay guys, let me handle the talking."
"Alright, we don't want to negotiate right now anyway." Nathan said.
"Good."
The group of thirteen got on the chariot and they took off. Nathan looked out the window and saw some ponies staring at them.
"You know, I f***ing hate this place."
"Yeah, there is no meat and no 'easy to get' booze." A very pissed off Pickles said.
"Yep, I agree with Pickles." Murderface said as he carved a rather erotic carving into the frame.
"Hey Murderface, there ams so many ponies out the windows."
"I know Toki..."
"And they ams flyings by us, looks."
The group saw costumed pegasi fly around in formations.
"Oh God, look at that, it so stupid."
"Looks at that guy." Skwisgaar pointed at a random pony.
"Look at that douche." Nathan pointed at another pony.
"Look at that douchebag."
"Looks at thats douchebag."
"Look ats that douchebags."
"Look at that douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"I hate this stupid place!" Nathan yelled out.
"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Rainbow asked.
"Well, we're in another world, with no booze and food, and we don't have any friends."
"We don'ts think each others as friends."
"Yeah, Skwisgaar's right, we just bandmates, we're not friends."
"The price of fame." Murderface said.
"And we're surrounded, by douchebags."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Well that's a depressing way of viewing fame." Rainbow said. "You know what, we'll be your friends."
The other mares agreed.
"Really, you would dos thats?"
"Yeppers Toki! We're the bestest of friends." Pinkie said as she hugged Toki.
"Hey Toki, you ams a girls for hugsing the ponies."
"Shut up Skwisgaar, they ams the coolest ponies, and I don't needs you to talk s*** abouts them."
"Well, while I don't agree with some of Toki's language, I agree with him." Rarity held her fillyfriend tightly, garnering a smile from Fluttershy.
"Guys, we're almost there."
Dethklok nodded at Charles and looked out the window to see Canterlot in all its bustling glory.
"Oh God, there are more douchebags here." Murderface pointed out.
"Yeah, and looks at thems, being the douchebags."
"Look ats that douchebags."
"Look at that douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
"Douchebag."
The ponies looked at Charles, who was pinching his eyebrows in frustration.
"Guess dealing with them is a full time job pardner." Applejack said.
"Yes, yes it is. Okay guys, please behave." The chariot was landing.
"Okay, but don't expect us to like the princesses, especially the moon pony, she such a..." Nathan said the chariot door opened to reveal Luna. "Diiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllldooooooooooooooo, hi."
"Hello human."
Oh f*** me. Dick thought.
"Follow me." Luna led the group out and they went to the throne room.
Don't f*** up! Don't f*** up! Don't f*** up! DON'T F*** UP! Knubbler was visibly sweating from nervousness. He already had a few f*** ups with Dethklok's earlier appearances and just now, an insult.
They went through the hallway, and the group saw a few stained glass windows.
"Wowee, looks at thats, they ams the famous ponies here!"
The other saw the window of the Mane Six using the power of friendship Toki pointed at and Nathan thought of one thing.
"Brutal."
The group continued and were soon at the throne room. Celestia looked at the group from her throne and hopped towards them.
"Good to see you all. Are you ready to negotiate Charles?"
"Yes princess. I'd appreciate it if we let Dethklok be under supervision right here."
"Very well then. Follow me."
As Celestia trotted to a meeting room, Charles went to the band.
"Okay guys, I'm going to leave you alone for a while. Nathan, Pickles, you're in charge."
"Why?" Pickles asked.
"Because you're the most responsible of the band."
"No we're not!" Nathan said, not understanding the meaning of responsibility.
"Well, you are."
"Well f*** you too."
"I'm going now." Charles went to the meeting room and the doors closed. Nathan looked at the other bandmates.
"Stupid Charles, calling us responsible."
"Umm, you do realise... umm, that that's a good thing, right?"
The band looked at Fluttershy, who just eeped, hid behind Rarity.
"This won't end well." Twilight said.
We're totally f***ed. Knubbler thought.
Hours passed and they all wandered around. Nathan and Twilight were in the labyrinth with Murderface whom was pissing in the hedges. Rarity and Fluttershy were watching Skwisgaar and Toki at the library, as they tryed to see if there was any books on guitars. They both ended up say 'Stops copysing mes.' to each other over and over. Knubbler and Pickles followed Rainbow Dash and Applejack to the track. All of them noticed that Applejack seemed out of breath at the moment, possible as a side effect of combined blood replacement and chemotherapy. Pinkie Pie was just switching between the three groups. They all ended up at the throne room when Charles and Celestia came out.
"So, what's the verdict?" Luna asked.
Send them to the moon, send them to the moon...
"My verdict is that Dethklok will stay under the watch of the royal guard here in the castle until the time for them to say goodbye."
Luna's jaw dropped and the Mane Six smiled. Dethklok walked over to Ofdensen and spoke.
"Good job getting her to say that."
"Well, it was either that, or banished to the sun. Besides, here, the only difference is that everything's colorful, the guard won't do everything you want and we'll have guests every once in a while guys."
"Okay, that's okay." Pickles said.
"Oh and booze is restricted for you guys. I tryed to make sure that you get some, but from I heard, you caused a lot of mayhem, so booze only on weekends."
Pickles dropped to his knee and bellowed to the skies.
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
The group was silent, and Pickles got up. Dick only had one thought.
"Twenty-six days, twenty-six days of absolute hell Tia, and you didn't even once punish them."
"They never did anything horribly wrong Luna, relax."
"It was... the worst month I ever had since I was sent to the Moon."
"You really going to bring that up?"
"I hate you right now sister." Luna had gone through drunken bantering, breaking up fights, public indecency, hospitalization of many guards and a pie to the face, all due to Dethklok. She was willing to outright murder the five men if they tried something to her land again, accidental or not. It doesn't help that the music they played cause adverse effects such as cause the sun to turn off for three days straight. It was also making the other creature she hated the most happy.
"Oh come on Princess Moonbutt, live it up a little." Discord said, drinking from a coconut.
"You stay out of this Discord."
Discord just got an unamused look on his face and cracked open the coconut, revealing a rabbit holding a malt shake for the chaos lover.
"If it'll make you feel better, I'm actually leaving for a few days Moonbutt."
"Why?"
"No reason." Discord said, getting a suitcase and putting in an anchor, a camera, a live cat, some shotgun shells, and a toothbrush.
"No reason?" Celestia was now curious.
"Bye Moonbutt and Molestia, after tomorrow, this will be over and two months after, we will have a trio of duos as guests." Discord then snapped his fingers and disappeared, the suitcase following, but the anchor did not. It fell through the floor and hit someone.
"AH F***!" What the hell caused a f***ing anchor to fall on my ding-dong?" Murderface yelled out.
"Dude, imagine if it happened while you were horny, you'd have a broken dick, no more sex." Nathan said. "That'd be brutal."
"Well, that was awkward." Luna said.
"Trio of duos? What does that mean?"
"I don't know, what about that thing about tomorrow?"
"Oh, I almost forgot, I've found out a spell to take them back, I was planning on sending them back tomorrow after all has been said and done."
"SEND THEM NOW, DEAR SISTER!" Luna broke out into the Royal Canterlot Voice at her sister.
"OH MY GOD, SHUT THE F*** UP!" Pickles yelled, hungover.
"Sorry Pickles."
"Yeah yeah, f*** royalty." Pickles walked away, annoyed to the maximum level.
"Can this day get any worse?"
"I hope not." Celestia said.
The Mane 6, Dethklok, Knubbler, and Charles were all sitting in a meeting room.
"Okay guys, here's how were doing on the way back home and..."
"Hey guys," Nathan interrupted Charles. "Check this out." Nathan took out a defib-unit.
"A defibrillator?" Applejack asked rather weakly.
"Yeah, hey Skwisgaar, come here."
Skwisgaar did as he was told and Nathan shocked him.
"Ohhhh, f***, that ams goods to the bodies that I ams ins."
"You guys are morons, you know that?" Rainbow said.
"Well, do you haves the s***loads of the moneys in yous banks accounts right nows?" Skwisgaar retorted.
"Okay, guys, can't this wait? We have important things to discuss and..."
"Hey, why do we have stuff to do when we're in an alternate dimension?" Murderface asked.
"Because we're trying to get home."
"Yeah, this place ams goods, but we have stuffs to do back ats home." Toki agreed.
"Which is why I must say that..."
"I also got this laser pointer, see?" Nathan pointed the laser at Pinkie's eye, and she relaxed visibly.
"AHHHHHH!"
"Guys..."
The band was becoming less and less focused. Twilight and was getting more and more annoyed.
Toki took out an iPod, which he had on him when he ended up in Equestria and listen to Gangnam Style. He was addicted to that song and dance.
"Hey Twilight!"
"What William?" Twilight had a lot of anger in her voice.
"Your mother, ha!" Murderface high-fived Pickles.
Twilight gritted her teeth, hopped from her seat and burst into flames, her coat was white, her mane was fire, and her eyes were red with fury. Dethklok, and Knubbler were scared, especially Knubbler.
"You f***ing morons, SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" She screamed.
Dethklok, with wide eyes, sat back down, and Twilight calmed down. Charles took this silence a green light to go.
"Thank you Twilight. Okay, to the point, will you guys please apologize when we have to leave?"
"No."
"Nah."
"Not reallys."
"What are we, gay?"
"But I woulds apologize."
"So no then?"
"Yeah." Nathan said simply. Charles stayed silent for a few minutes before speaking.
"Okay then, we are dismissed than."
Crr...
"What was that?" Rarity asked, holding Fluttershy close to her.
"An earthquake?" Knubbler hoped it wasn't.
The group decided it wasn't important, until Celestia and Luna opened the door and spoke to the group personally.
"You thirteen, come with me. We have a serious problem."
"What is it Celestia?" Charles asked.
"Just come with me, I'll explain on the way to the safehouse."
"Safehouse?" Twilight did not know what was happening, but it was bad.
Celestia didn't answer, but instead let the group follow her.
"Hey guys, I don'ts thinks this ams a good things." Toki seemed to be the most scared.
"Oh, like this is really a bad thing Toki." Pickles, not so much.
"I bet some fanboys somehow got here, f*** them. Like I f*** this one." Nathan punched some guard he got pissed at last week, revealing him as a changeling.
"Oh, wait... Yeah, changelings." Nathan proceeded to punch it again, knocking it out.
"Changelings!"
"Yeah Twilight, I thought you were smart, not retarded." Murderface said to be a dick.
"Move, now!"
A few more minutes in the tunnels, and they were in a saferoom.
"Alright, nopony goes in or out during this crisis. Understand?"
The others seemed to agree with the princess.
"Princess, what's going on?"
Celestia looked Twilight in her eyes, and sighed.
"The changelings, they came back, stronger in force than before. They overwhelmed our army already, nopony is safe anymore."
Twilight gasped, and tears began to form in her eyes.
"Princess, can't you do anything about it?"
"The two of us can only do so much, I'm sorry my faithful student."
Twilight began to cry harder, and began to hug her leader, her teacher, her best friend.
It was the end.
"This might be a bad time right now, but I need to take a piss."
Twilight opened her eyes, and looked at Murderface.
"Bad time, BAD TIME! This might be the end of Equestria and all you do is not care? You five are the most selfish, heartless, disgusting, horrible, perverted, twisted monsters to have ever existed in all of Eque... no~, the whole damn universe, you should all f***ing DIE!" Twilight smashed her head into the wall and dented it. She was bleeding, but the rage inside her was overwhelming. She hated humans now, wished they would all just die.
Dethklok was speechless, well, Toki was. The rest didn't seemed fazed at all. They didn't even care that Twilight was now curled up in a ball and crying. They didn't care that her friends hugged her to help her, they didn't care about anything so far.
Charles however found something to improve humanity's standing here.
"Guys, every word she said is true, and so I decided that you have to help."
"How?" Pickles didn't want to know.
"You said you're music causes magic, right?"
"Oh no, no way! They'll just cause the end to spread even further."
"Exactly, the end of the changelings here."
"Wha..." Twilight looked up at the suited man and raised an eyebrow from her tear-stained eyes.
"A single instrument causes small scale magic, imagine what a band could do. Now imagine what they could do, if it was against changelings."
Twilight found it hard, but... she knew what he meant.
"What if it doesn't work?"
"Well then, we're food."
Dethklok looked at Charles and had looks that said 'seriously' to him.
"If you guys don't do it, we'll never go home and Nathan, you'll never get your bacon cheeseburger."
"Fine, f***ing wanted that cheeseburger since last month."
"But how are we..."
"Just let them play. Trust me." Charles glasses glared as he said that, unnerving Celestia, but did she have a choice.
"My queen, we have not found the princess or the elements."
"Then find them, you imbecile! And look for these monkey men too."
"Yes, my liege." The drone flew off, leaving the queen alone. She was bored of looking for her prey, and decided that...
"My queen!"
"Yes?"
"I found the group set up some barricades at the west fields, where they came out of a bunker."
"What? Why would they make a pointless fortress?"
"I don't know, but they're all there, we're ready to capture them."
"I want to go see them, face to face."
"Yes my queen. Let me lead you."
Chrysalis followed her minion, knowing that she would have them.
"Pyro?"
"Check!"
"Speakers checked?"
"Yes Cerritos."
"Fog machine?"
"Of course."
"Guitars tuned?"
"Oh, umm, yes."
"Drums set up."
"Did that myself."
"Good Pickles. Okay, we're all set up, now we wait." Charles stepped back and let the princesses look at the stage.
"I don't know how you did it, but I genuinely believe that this is a true stage."
"Wait, what is the plan again?" Luna asked.
"We're going to play some metal, death metal." Charles said.
"Really, this will be my first time." Luna was excited.
"Good, than get ready for a concert you'll never forget."
Dethklok looked at the stage in their corpse paint makeup. They weren't impressed.
"I've seen more metal." Nathan said.
"Guys, get ready, they're coming!" Knubbler said.
"Fine."
The changeling army were marching towards the fortress, and were impressed at how they made it. But they were confused at why the center was open and exposed. Even more confusing, was that these humans were there, set up like a band. Chrysalis flew to the five and confronted them.
"Well well well, looks like you're more stupid than I thought. Pity, I would've thought you were more intelligent."
"Listen in bug bitch, we've had enough of your bulls***." Nathan spoke out to the queen, and she stepped back at that outburst.
"We're going to show you how brutal we really are, and in the end, you'll be nothing more than a whimpering pile of s***."
"Mighty words, from an imbecile. Maybe I won't feed on you, I'm afraid I will catch the stupid." Chrysalis took off and hovered above the arena.
"Try us, bitch."
The queen flew off and went to her troops.
"Attack them, show no mercy for the apes."
The changelings charged.
"NOW!" Charles yelled.
"One, two. One two three four!"
The music played. The changelings were confused, but charged anyway. The clouds were swirling somehow, and the sky was starting to turn blood red. Storms were forming and the winds were starting to build up.
"We are Dethklok, and we're not going down!"
The changelings started to get nervous, but still charged.
"Darkness! (Darkness!) The end of days!"
"Planets! (Planets!) Kinetic haze!"
"Arrive! (Arrive!) The last dimension!"
"Reject (Reject!) the apprehension!"
"Convicted (Convicted!) We don't look back!"
"The storm (The storm!) Electric black!"
"This war (This war!) Is formed in vengeance!"
"The story (the story!) Has been predicted!"
When the next lyrics hit, the storms started to strike the changelings, some burst in fire, others burst open in displays of gore. Some clouds began to swirls even more violently.
"We are the dark and the light! We have the power of time! We are the serpents intertwined! The galaxy will unite!"
"What the..." Chrysalis, didn't know what was happening, but she wasn't letting violent weather ruin her plans.
"Perfect liars, promising us! Can't stop the beast, we got no other choice! (Got no other choice!)"
"Unforgiving soulless nature! It's not gonna tame us, gonna beat him! (Gonna beat him!)"
Chrysalis charged at the band herself, but was stopped by a punch.
"Don't try to f*** with my bread and butter."
She looked to see a suited man hold a rapier in a fencing pose. She got up and was ready to fight.
"Not gonna stop reaping! (Stop reaping!)"
"The prize is deth! (The prize is deth!) We made the pact when we took our first breath! (When we took our first breath!)"
"Fearless! (Fearless!) This is our quest! (This is our quest!)"
"That leads me on, man the star-gates! (Star-gates!)"
"Star-gates! (Star-gates!)"
"GO!"
"We are the dark and the light! (We are the dark and the light!) We have the power of time! (We have the power of time!) We are the serpents intertwined! (We are the serpents intertwined!) The galaxy will unite! (The galaxy will unite!)"
Chrysalis managed to hit Charles with her horn, but it was a graze.
"Aww, did I ruin your suit?"
"Yes you did, but I got a dozen of these at home." Charles stabbed the queen's left wing, crippling her.
"Ah, you'll pay for that, fool!"
"Try me."
"This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "Its all starting NOW!"
"This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!" "This is the beginning!"
"IT'S ALL STARTING NOOOOOOOOOW!!!"
The changelings began to regroup, they were not going to die pointlessly.
"IT'S ALL STARTING NOOOOOOOOOW!!!"
That is until a tornado appeared and swallowed up more than two-thirds of the army.
"IT'S ALL STARTING NOOOOOOOOOW!!!"
Many flew in all directions, splattering in green gore and some managed to hit some of the officers, horns slicing out brains, and cutting throats.
"IT'S ALL STARTING NOOOOOOOOOW!!!"
It became chaos, and in the end, no changeling survived.
"It's all starting now!"
Chrysalis managed to knock Charles down, and pointed her horn at him.
"Any last words?"
"Yes, you've already lost."
"Why?"
"Because your army is already wiped out."
Chrysalis looked out to the battlefield and got a look of disbelieve and shock. Pools of green blood were everywhere. Many of her army were dead. Whatever changelings were not were too injured to survive. She was so shocked that her subjects were all dead that she didn't bother to notice Charles get up and punch her out cold. He looked at her and spoke.
"Those guys are my bread and butter, and you don't f*** with my bread and butter."
In the nearby bunker, Twilight figured it was over.
"I'm going to check."
"Okay Twi." Rainbow said. Twilight trotted out and looked out. She immediately came in, ran for the toilet, and vomited.
"I... I don't want to see what happened." Fluttershy said.
"Don't worry darling, I'm sure it's wasn't too bad, right?" Rarity tried to calm down her lover.
"Ohh, so much blood, so much death, I'm going to have nightmares for months." Twilight fainted, further affirming Fluttershy's fears.
"Maybe we'll wait until clean-up's done."
On top of the stage, Celestia looked at Luna, and spoke.
"Well, that was over the top, wasn't it?"
Luna didn't speak.
"Sister?"
"I LOVED IT, THE SOUNDS, THE MELODY, THE LYRICS, I F***ING LOVE DEATH METAL!" Luna broke out into the royal Canterlot voice, and with good reason too.
"Well then, I guess we'll find some more music for you then, dear sister." Celestia said with a smile.
Meanwhile, some evacuated ponies looked at the what had happened, and were impressed.
"Wow, that was brutal."
"Hey, maybe we should do what they do?"
"And what's that?"
"Become a death metal band."
All five stallions agreed, and that's how Dethklop was born.
-18 hours later-
Inside a hidden chamber in Canterlot, Dethklok, Charles and Dick were all gathered to go home. Celestia approached the seven, and Mane six joined them.
"Well then, you saved Equestria, and managed to rid us of a group that would have killed us all. Thank you."
"No problem princess, I just hope that Twilight is okay."
"Don't worry, I took out that particular memory of the aftermath. Thank you Dethklok. Now, please stand still, this may hurt."
"Before you do that, bring the queen."
"Why?"
"We'll give her justice, don't worry."
"Very well." Chrysalis brought in, chained up and screaming in rage. The guards gave Charles the leash.
"Time to go you eight."
Celestia cast a spell, the eight glowed and in a flash, disappeared. Rarity sighed.
"I am so glad, that's over. Now then, let's go home."
The rest agreed, knowing that it was finally over.
The seven appeared in the meeting room. They all looked around and smiled.
"Aww yes, I ams glads that we ams backs homes." Toki said in glee.
"But I ams wishings that I could still haves the magics with mes, it mades me goodser than evers." Skwisgaar was disappointed, but he was glad not to be with ponies anymore.
"Okay guys, let's get back in." Charles pressed a button and spoke into it.
"Can we get some cocaine, some beers, some hookers, and a bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon on in the meeting room here now?"
"Yes sire, good to see it was a success."
"Of course."
"Oh yeah, drugs!" Pickles yelled out.
"And the prostitution peoples." Skwisgaar yelled out as well.
"You guys enjoy yourselves for now, this little token needs some punishment." Charles tugged on the leash, pulling Chrysalis with him, out of the room.
Minutes later, the two appear in room in lower Mordhaus. She was thrown on a table and bound up.
"You tried to kill my band, spied on them, and ruined one of my suits, you're going to pay."
"Oh yeah, how are you going to do that?"
A klokateer came in wearing a bloodied lab coat and stethoscope. He placed a bag he was holding on the table next to the queen's own, and took out a rusty hacksaw. Chrysalis had a panicked look on her face.
"Goodbye Queen Chrysalis, by the end of the day, you're going to wish you're dead." Charles walked out of the room and closed the door.
"No... no... PLEASE NO! AHHHHHHHHH!" Charles heard as he left the the lower confines of Mordhaus, and soon enter his office. He looked at the stack of paperwork, and sighed.
"Time to go back to work."
Fluttershy and Rarity entered Carousel Boutique. It was getting dark and it wasn't a good idea to trot to Fluttershy's cabin yet. Fluttershy trotted over to the couch and laid down on it.
"I'm so~ glad that that's over, I don't think I would've lived with the idea of them around."
"Me neither my love. But to be honest, Nikolai was much, much worse."
Fluttershy laughed a bit, it seemed true.
"You know, we haven't had much time to ourselves." Rarity said, approaching Fluttershy, eyes half-lidded.
"You know, you're right." Fluttershy motioned for Rarity to join her. The two hugged each other, and kissed deeply. Their tongues danced with slow passion, they loved each other, and they didn't care what other's thought. Slowly and surely, something sparked within the two and they broke the kiss, panting from lack of air in their lungs.
"Upstairs, my room." Rarity simply said, hopping down on the floor and slowly trotting to her room upstairs. Fluttershy knew what she meant and flew straight upstairs. When Fluttershy came to Rarity's room, she saw her gem, laying in bed, awaiting Fluttershy.
Clop Warning, skip if you don't like.
Fluttershy flew over to the unicorn and kissed her deeply again. Rarity levitated the covers over them and let the warmth consume them.
They were getting aroused.
They moaned as they continued kissing, the two were practically waiting for one of them to break the kiss so that they can move on to more... passionate actions. Finally, Fluttershy broke the kiss, and looked Rarity in the eyes.
"You know, we might have to get something more later on." Fluttershy said lowly.
"I agree, but for now, how about we make do with our tongues?"
"How about we try together, if you know what I mean."
Rarity had only a brief second of confusion before understanding.
"Who'll be on top?"
Fluttershy went under the covers and moved her head closer to Rarity's marehood, all while moving her own to Rarity's face.
"I guess you will darling. When you're ready." Rarity positioned her head to pleasure her lover when she made the first move.
Fluttershy took a deep breath of her lover's marehood and became intoxicated from the smell. She licked her lips and moved closer.
"AH! Ahhhhh..." Rarity began to dig in, letting Fluttershy moan in pleasure herself. The two enjoyed the other's taste as they licked each and every delicate fold of the love caves they enjoyed so much.
"Oh Rarity, keep going..."
"You too Fluttershy, this is wonderful."
The two began to pick up the pace, licking each other faster, building up their pleasure even more. The decided at the same time to move their tongues deeper into each other, swallowing more of each other's arousal as they did so. Fluttershy then all of a sudden stopped.
"Fluttershy, what are you..." Fluttershy kissed Rarity, letting each other taste their own arousal, and mixing the two to create a wonderful flavor for the two. Fluttershy placed her marehood on Rarity's own and rubbed them together. The pleasure was intense, and the two enjoyed it. They never unlocked lips as they soon climaxed together, letting loose their build-up pleasure. As soon as the ecstasy ended, the two unlocked lips, and the two turned their sides.
"That... was... amazing..." Rarity managed to say after a few minutes. "I... would've never... guessed that you would... be so passionate darling."
"Rarity, I love you, I only want the best for you." Fluttershy kissed her lover for a brief moment and made herself in bed.
"Good night."
Rarity smiled, and snuggled the shy mare.
"Good night Fluttershy."
And the two fell asleep, knowing that things were only going to change even more from now on.
-Three months later, in another universe-
A woman stood at a terminal, she turned to the two soldiers by her.
"Gentlemen, both Raven and Valor are going to try to capture our desert solar plant at 0930 hours. We cannot let that happen or else we will lose important stockholders. Do you understand, Dmitri Vulakh and Dmitri Reznov?"
"Yes sir!" Responded both of them in a slavic accent.
"Good! Do not let me down."
"Of course!" The two left, and began to go towards the barracks. The woman turned towards the main terminal.
"Soon, I'll be the one true leader of the world, and when the Shadow War is over..." She looked over to the video of many soldiers raising their weapons, cheering.
"I'll have global domination." The woman laughed, as her PMC was going to fight a war that will take over the world.
