Herzschmerz

by Lil Penpusher

First published

Ferdinand Dawnclaw had always been loyal to the Empire. And yet, here he stood, seen by many as the most treacherous and vile Griffon in all of Griffonia. Many of his choices made little sense to others... or sometimes, even himself.

Ferdinand Dawnclaw had come a long way. From a lowly Griffon, to a Officer in the Reichsarmee of the Griffonian Empire, and finally, though with an aching Heart, assuming the Position of Lord Protector of the Empire itself... or what was left of it.

Many did not understand him, even less so his actions. They could not. They couldn't fathom the necessity of the executions, the expulsions, the strict discipline and authoritarianism he imposed.

But he knew. He knew all too well it was for the best, that it was not just a way for the Empire to survive but the only way to cleanse the Empire. What was once a proud and mighty Nation had descended into madness, seething with corruption and debauchery from top to bottom. Ferdinand knew that the Nobles and Clergy were at fault. With the Nobles assuming important roles but only enjoying the benefits, while the Clergy continued to inflate their importance within the State so that it would match their egos. No. No, something had to happen, and Ferdinand was the one to put a claw forward and assume Leadership.

He could only hope that all the suffering caused would have been worth it in the end.


This Story takes place in the Griffonian Empire, which is part of the Equestria at War Universe. Check it out if you're interested! It's a playable mod for a game, too!

The Greatest Sacrifice

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It was going to be a cold night in Griffenheim, the Capital of the Griffonian Empire. The Sun had already begun to set, with the last few rays of sunlight illuminating the antique streets of the City in a bright orange glow.

Ferdinand Dawnclaw watched the Scenery from within the Imperial Palace, a Building that stood tall above the rest of the Capital, its grandeur and architecture unmatched by anything in sight. Ferdinand chewed on a toothpick as he began to think while watching the Sunset through the Windows of the Master Bedroom of the Palace. He was wearing his full Uniform today. It was a mixture of old and new for him. Most of it was just his old Uniform from when he was a General serving under Emperor Grover V., but he had ordered some new ornaments to be added onto it to properly represent his new status as 'Lord-Protector' of the Griffonian Empire. A Pair of golden Wings adorned his Collars, and right below his beak, centered around the Collar, was his Iron Cross.

Ferdinand chuckled for a moment, careful not to accidentally drop the toothpick while doing so. He remembered the Day he won the Cross still. As a mere non-commissioned Officer in one of the Artillery Regiments, he took part in the Siege of Cloudsbury following the failed Republican Revolution many years ago. The Republican Forces had barricaded the City as the Reichsarmee closed in. Sadly, the Nobility that had made up High Command was too blinded by glory that none of them realised a frontal Assault on the City was a mistake. The Republicans, led by the ruthless Traitor Kemerskai, counter-attacked by attacking the flanks of the assaulting Army. Ferdinand's commanding Officer refused to order a Bombardment to relieve the Troops, and so he rallied the Artillery Crews on his own and directed a Bombardment on his own accord.

The Attack failed, and Imperial Troops would soon be pushed out of Cloudsbury Territory by Republican Forces, but Ferdinand had saved a great many lives that day, something he was awarded the Iron Cross for, as well as a Field Promotion to Oberstleutnant.

The black beak of the Griffon continued to gnaw on the tiny toothpick as she smiled to himself, still watching the Sunset outside. Disobeying his Superiors had proven him to be in the right once before. It was only natural, he figured, that it did so again when he led a Putsch against the Regency Council those fateful months ago.

The Griffon put up his right claw, his Talons making a high pitched noise as they touched the Glass. The Memory of the Coup was still fresh...


Griffenheim, the Capital of the Empire, was under siege. For the first Time since the Republican Revolution, the streets of the Capital of Griffonkind were littered with Corpses, the picturesque image of the City torn apart as Buildings caught on fire and puddles of Blood dripped down into the Sewers. Gunshots rang out from one Street to another as two Forces clashed. And yet, they both fought for the same thing: The Empire.

The Imperial Palace remained the last Bastion of the defending Forces. Following the Death of Emperor Grover V., a Regency Council had been established to take care of affairs for his young, immature chick of a son, Prince Grover VI. What followed was a surprise to few in the Empire: the Nobility and Clergy bashed heads within the Regency Council, arguing for who should lead the Regency, while entirely ignoring the Problems the Empire faced, or new Problems created by the Death of the late Emperor.

Ferdinand had foreseen this predicament a long time ago, and knew many Griffons in the Reichsarmee shared his opinion. He may have only been a Oberstleutnant, a lower rank than most of the famous Military Commanders of the time, such as Feldmarschall Bronzetail, but he spoke to his fellow Soldiers like a Brother, not like their Superior. First he convinced his own units, and his influence only began to grow from there. All while hiding from the Griffenheim Government.

And there he was, at the Steps of the Imperial Palace. The Seat of Power of many a powerful Emperors, the focal point of all of Griffonia. His loyal Troops had pushed the City Garrison all the way back to the Palace. Now all that remained was to 'clean up shop', as they say.

Dawnclaw and his Bodyguard stormed the Building, cleaning out small Pockets of Resistance and sparing no Griffon in sight, with even the Butlers and Maids facing a premature end.

The Group then finally arrived in front of a large pair of Doors made out of a perfectly manufactured Wood. As the Soldiers took up Positions and reloaded their Submachine Guns, Ferdinand cocked his Handgun, holding it firmly in his right claw. He nodded to one of his Bodyguards, who then pushed open the doors and allowing entry to the Council Chamber beyond.

The Council Chamber was probably the closest thing the Griffonian Empire could muster in terms of a Parliament or Diet, except that it was only used on the Emperor's wish, or during Regencies. As a Result, the Room was filled with Griffons of all sizes, many of them cowering and trembling, some hiding underneath their desks or behind chairs as Ferdinand entered ahead of his Guard.

The Griffon proudly marched through the Chamber and towards the Podium Stand. He briefly stopped, shooting a gaze at the previous Speaker who was holding onto the Podium like it was his force of life.

A Shot rang out, followed immediately by an array of cries and whimpers across the Room. The Body of the Speaker dropped to the ground with a dull noise as it hit the ground, blood beginning to spill out over the Carpet from the wound on his head.

Ferdinand lifted his Pistol, its barel still giving out a faint white smoke. Then he proceeded onwards and placed himself behind the Podium. He cleared his throat artificially, almost as if to mock the stock-up personalities that were in the Room, as his Guards locked the door shut.

"My dear Compatriots," Ferdinand spoke, "Today is a day the Empire shall always remember as its bleakest, but also its most radiant. For today, we take up arms against one another, not to dismantle our Empire but to save it, to salvage what we can and protect it from the Vultures lurking within the Apparatus of State."

He spoke into the Room with confidence. He had planned for this too long to have regrets in his voice now.

"You, my dear Nobles, and you, my faithful Clergygriffs. You Counts and Prelates, Bishops and Dukes: YOU are the Vultures circling above the Empire! YOU are the reason our beloved Empire is but a laughing stock across Griffonia, and it is YOU who are responsible for the fracturing of the Realm!"

The Room was silent, save for the shudders coming from Ferdinand's 'audience'. Then, suddenly, a Griffon stood up. It was a Prelate, judging by the Robes he was wearing.

"Who are you to make these accusations! You're but a spineless Traitor seeking personal gain!" he shouted.

Another shot rang out. Gasps followed once again, then the Prelate dropped back into his Seat, his body dangling low, completely limp.

"What I do, I do for the Fatherland. A Notion you gluttonous buffoons and self-important bullies would be too primitive to understand. To act in the Defense of the Fatherland requires honour, something you Birds have always lacked! The Nobility; nothing but a bunch of degenerate, fat, inbred, stock-up dimwits! And the Clergy; nothing but self-important, self-obsessed, self-righteous Preachers who prey on money more than they pray the word of our Gods. For Years now I've had to watch you tear our fledgling Empire apart piece by piece, but no longer."

He paused as his Guards trained their Weapons on the Council Members,

"Today you will all make your final Sacrifice for the Fatherland. Today the Empire will be reborn in the Fire, and it will rise again from the Ashes of the Old Order. We will shake off the Parasites that have so long infested our Nation and venture into this World anew, to reclaim our long lost Glory and Pride!"

Shortly after he concluded, the Soldiers around him squeezed their triggers. Ferdinand looked on from the Podium as one volley after another was fired into the Room. Bodies dropped one after another while the walls and furniture were covered in bullet holes.

It took mere seconds until it was done. The Guns fell silent after having emptied their Magazines, a subtle 'click' replacing the gunfire at the press of the Trigger.


Ferdinand sighed as the Sun had finally set beneath the Horizon, giving way to the coldness of Night. His Claw still pressed against the glass as he tried to recall his short but impactful Reign as Lord-Protector.

A Smile crossed his face as he remembered his scheming in secret prior to the attempted Coup. He reminded himself how expertly he avoided detection and suspicion by those in Griffenheim - until it was too late. It all went swimmingly: From his Rally of the Troops, to his March on Griffenheim, to the cleansing of the Palace and beyond. Soon the entirety of the Empire's core Provinces were under his control, and he could start with re-establishing Order and Unity.

His smile slowly faded away as the Sky outside revealed the Stars beyond. A frown took its place, one of disappointment and regret.

He made so many things right that day, during the initial Coup. Everything had gone well... but he had failed at one crucial thing: killing the Ringleaders. In this case, killing the Griffons that the Nobles and Clergy united behind. Even before the Coup, he knew that they would have to be disposed of in order to ensure that any outsiders remained disunited and confused. Following the Emperor's Death, he quickly found out who the true Leaders of the two Factions were.

Duchess Gabriela Eagleclaw of Strawberry, a distant relative to the deceased Emperor and ambitious Noble to boot was rallying much of the Nobility behind her. On the other end of the table sat Archon Eros VII, alongside the other two Archons who called themselves the rather self-important "Council of Three". As the three Heads of Griffon Faith, they wanted absolute Authority over the Regency Council and the young Prince Grover VI's education.

The Problem was that both of these Griffons had escaped Ferdinand's grasp that day. He still didn't know quite how, but they must have fled the City right away when the Regency Council got wind of the Army rebelling against them. The Duchess soon reappeared in Strawberry, her own realm, and solidified her Power there to ensure Ferdinand couldn't encroach on her. The Archon, meanwhile, rallied various important Griffons to his side in an effort to retake Griffenheim, something that stirred Gabriela to do the same with the Nobility.

Ferdinand wasn't a blind bird, nor was he dumb enough to overlook these developments. His Enemies clung onto Hope; the Hope that they could defeat him, put themselves into Power with the pretext of being the Regent for Prince Grover and reaping the Benefits at the expense of the Empire.

But these Hopes wouldn't last, for they all came down to one thing: The Grover Dynasty. A Dynasty that had ruled the Empire since its very inception and foundation, starting with Grover I. and ending with Grover V.

And now there was but a single Grover left. A poor, defenceless Child which had been locked up in his room inside the Palace following the Coup. Ferdinand had put him under House Arrest for the time being, unsure of what use the Child could have for him. He toyed around with using him as a bait, or bargaining tool perhaps.

But deep down, the Lord Protector knew that these drastic times required drastic actions, something he gradually began to realise.

He sighed deeply, frowning once again. This time, for the first time... he looked regretful. Sad even. He was responsible for so much death and destruction in the wake of his rise to power, and yet... thinking about that morning always brought him to the brink of tears somehow...


Ferdinand paced up and down the Hallway in front of the wooden door that lead to the Bedroom. He was lost in thought. He wore his Uniform, as he usually did... including his Handgun, which he had hidden away in one of the pockets of his Coat.

"Did he really have to? Was this really necessary?" he thought to himself, scratching his head. He paused and looked at the Door, imagining the young child waiting beyond it. He didn't deserve it... he probably didn't even know he was the successor to the Empire yet. And yet... if he came to grow older, he would find out soon enough and turn on Ferdinand, or worse: one of Ferdinand's enemies would get to him and use him as leverage and justification.

The Lord-Protector clenched his claw into a fist reluctantly. This was no easy choice, but it had to be done. For the good of the Empire. Perhaps, in the end, he could rest easy knowing that he prevented the Child from being turned into a mere Puppet of the Nobles and Clergy, like his Father was.


With a loud, drawn-out creak, the wooden Door opened. The tall, bleak Griffon that was Ferdinand stepped inside and shut the Door behind himself once again, locking it.

Then he finally laid eyes on the Griffon in question. He had huddled up in his bed, the blanket raised above his head. Ferdinand could see him shivering even from the short distance away that he was.

"Grover?" he asked softly, making his way over to the Bed and kneeling down next to it. "I know you're there, Grover. No reason to hide, you know."

He couldn't help but smile as the Prince lowered his blanket slowly, briefly looking at him but avoiding eye contact after.

"You're not scared of me, are you?" Ferdinand asked in a parental voice.

"No!" Grover replied, shouting directly at Ferdinand. "Dad told me that I must never be scared!"

Ferdinand was briefly reminded of the late Emperor, Grover V., the Child's Father. He was well-known to be sickly and weak... but perhaps he was a good father, at least.

"You wouldn't want to disappoint him, would you?"

"I..." the Child stuttered, "N-No! No, I want to make Dad proud of me! I want to be like him!"

The Adult chuckled, concealing his true intentions as best he could.

"I'm sure you do, little one," he said. "I think we haven't had the opportunity to talk yet. I'm Ferdinand. Your Father knew me."

"Y-You knew my Dad?" the small Griffon asked, both curious and hopeful. Ferdinand nodded. "Were you friends?"

The uniformed Griffon coughed awkwardly. "Well... no, not quite. I worked for him though, so I met him a few times."

The chick lowered his head noticeably, looking disappointed. "Oh..."

Ferdinand climbed up onto the bed and sat down in front of the small creature. He could have just done the deed right then and there but... he felt like talking to the child would redeem his actions at least a little bit, as fruitless as it seemed.

"Grover, you've been tutored by the smartest griffs in the land, have you not?"

The young Prince thought for a moment, then nodded. It seemed to Ferdinand he was finally starting to open up somewhat. "Well, most of my Teachers are from here, Griffenheim. My Dad said he would get other, better Teachers eventually but... he never got around to that. Occasionally Rector Mikusian would be here too and hold a lesson when he was in the City before leaving for Yale again."

Ferdinand nodded, then took a deep breath. "Has anygriff taught you about the History of the Empire, Grover?"

Young Grover contemplated, looked almost embarassed before uttering: "N-No..."

"Well, you're in luck, young one. I know all about it." Ferdinand's smile brightened as the embarassment on Grover's face faded and made way for excitement. The Newspapers weren't lying when they claimed he was eager to learn, it seemed. "Long, long ago, a Griffon set out on a quest to unite all of Griffonkind. His Name was Grover, first of his Name." The young Griffon's excitement grew even further at the mention of a legendary Griffon carrying the same name as him. "Legend goes that he went on a daring, dangerous quest for a mysterious Artifact. A lost treasure that was so powerful, it could make an entire Continent bow before him. And truly, after many months of fruitless search and adventuring... he found it. The Idol of Boreas."

"Hey, I've heard of that!" Grover interjected joyfully.

Ferdinand chuckled and patted the child. "It wouldn't surprise me. It was a wondrous artifact, and perhaps one of the greatest treasures ever known to Griffonkind. Grover I travelled back to his home, Griffonstone, where he showed the natives his newly acquired Treasure. Not long after, he became King Grover I., the first King of Griffonstone."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that," Ferdinand replied. "And he didn't stop there. Using the Idol, Grover looked outward and used the Idol's power to unite one Griffon realm after another. Those who resisted him in his quest were devastated by the united armies of Griffonia which had by now rallied besides him. The most notable of realms that resisted unification are... Aquileia and Wingbardy."

"Oh! Oh! I know those too!" Grover gave out like an excited schoolgriff.

"Aquileia and Wingbardy are still a thing today, right you are, unrighteous as it seems. However, for what it's worth, Grover I. was the first one to unite most of Griffonkind under his Banner. As such, he was crowned Kaiser, and with it, the Griffonian Empire was born. Our Empire."

"The one we are in right now?"

"That same one. Our Empire has lived on ever since, though with varying degrees of... success. Throughout the years, the Empire has had its definitive Up's and Down's, but one thing never truly changed: our philosophy."

The Child cocked his head.

"To unite all Griffons, you require strength and determination. In order to keep them united, you require discipline and authority. Grover I. and all his Ancestors knew this... though sometimes they lacked the ability, or will, to act upon it. And they usually paid the price, too, as did the Empire. Because you see, Grover, when you become weak and lose your determination, your drive forward, others will encroach on you to seek to take what is yours. If you lose discipline and authority as well the very heart of your Empire will soon be rotting, corrupted to the very core by those whom you used to call friends or allies. Because in truth, all they ever wanted was power. Influence maybe, or even just money. Few Griffons in the realm of Politics will care about... you, Grover. They only care about what you represent, and how you do so. Are you weak? Are you strong? If you are strong, are they stronger than you, still? Can you uphold your authority over others? These are the questions they ask themselves."

Grover remained silent. He looked saddened, almost depressed. He was just a child, in the end. He was hopeful and naive, unaware of the harsh reality of the World. All he wanted was others to be nice to him.

"You know, Grover..." Ferdinand said with a sigh, laying a claw around the small Griffon, "a lot has changed in the last couple of days for me and many others."

"W-What do you mean?" the Prince asked, hiding his sad demeanour.

"Those Griffons I just mentioned to you? They were sitting right here, in Griffenheim. For many Years I had to watch as they manipulated your Father. When his Health deteriorated further and further, they began to circle around him like Vultures, almost as if he was already dead. They gnawed at him, trying to take whatever Power and Influence they could rob him of." He paused. "Until he died, that is."

"I... don't understand. Dad never told me about any of that."

Ferdinand gave the child a sad frown. His Father was surely aware of the circumstances. He was sickly, yes, but not stupid. Perhaps he just didn't want his son to know...

"I'm sure your Father didn't mean to startle you with these... stories. It's hard to know when to bring it up."

"So then why are you telling me these things?" the young one asked curiously and confused.

"Because I managed to remove those Vultures that had sought to exploit your Father. I freed the Empire from their Influence, from their Corruption. And trust me, little one, when I tell you that, if given the opportunity, they would have turned you into a Puppet of theirs, too. If it were up to them, you would be little more than their toy, their instrument of power, for you have something they do not: a Bloodline."

Once again, the child looked confused.

"You are the direct Ancestor of Grover I., a part of the Imperial Dynasty. More importantly... you are the last one."

"Last one? No one except me?" the little one said, frightened a little bit by a truth he somewhat knew and yet never really confronted himself with.

"Sadly. And your Enemies know this just as well as we do. They know you are the key to this Empire, to the Throne and all your Ancestors which once sat upon it. With you under their wings, they could rule. Without you... well."

"So..." Grover tried to understand, "everyone just... wants to use me? No one actually l-likes me? For who I am?"

Ferdinand remained stern in the face of a innocent child that was about to cry.

"This is the sad reality of life. But do not worry, little one. Those who seek to use you for their own projects are now gone or cast away, scattered across the lands."

Grover sobbed and leaned back against his pillow, pulling up his blanket once again. "T-T-Thanks... I guess." He rotated and turned his back to Ferdinand, staring against the wall as tears escaped his eyes, his sobs becoming louder.

Ferdinand stood up from the Bed and looked at the poor soul. His Heart was pumping, no... it was aching. But there was no alternative. His Heart may not know, but his Brain did.

"I'm so sorry, little one..." he said aloud, reaching into his Coat with a claw. For the first time during the encounter, Ferdinand felt something he had hoped he wouldn't feel: Regret.

The sobbing of a child covered up the soft noise as Ferdinand retrieved his Pistol from his Coat. He looked down onto it, briefly staring at the engraving on the side that said something in old imperial script. He couldn't make out what it said, he was never enough of a bookworm to figure it out.

"I'm sorry," he said again, quiet this time. His words vanished in the ocean of tears and sobs originating from Grover. There was a click as Ferdinand cocked the gun. Then he raised his claw, aiming for the head. He wanted to hit the mark, so that the Child would at least not suffer a painful death... but his claw began to shake. In fact, his whole body did. For the first time in months, maybe years, the now Lord-Protector of Griffonia felt true fear flowing through his veins. He was afraid.

A Tear escaped his eye as he swallowed and closed his eyes.

"I'll make sure they will never abuse you, little one..." he whispered. His Heart was racing, his paws about to give out.

"I'M SORRY!"

BANG. . . . . BANG . . . BANG BANG BANG BANG . . . . . BANG BANG

Click. Click. Click.

Ferdinand opened his eyes again slowly. He gasped, his talon still squeezing the trigger over and over repeatedly, seemingly on its own. All that came out of his Gun was a 'click' however. The entire magazine was spent. He took a moment to breathe. In. And out. His body was trembling, visibly shaking. He looked down briefly and saw the cartridges from his Gun on the Carpet. He gasped again. Then he looked up.

The Gun dropped to the floor in an instant, landing softly on the Carpet next to the spent cartridges. The claw that had held the gun was now covering Ferdinand's mouth as he looked at what he had done. Muffled screams, yelps and sobs could be heard regardless.

Grover, sixth of his name... was dead. The Grover Dynasty, the founding Dynasty of the Griffonian Empire and longlasting Rulers over all Griffons... was officially extinguished.

Ferdinand sat down on the Carpet as his paws gave in. He covered his head, seemingly unable to believe what had just happened, what he had just done, what exactly he was looking at.

Mere seconds ago a curious, eager and joyful child rested in his bed. Now that bed had been turned into a bloodbath. Of the eight shots fired, three had made it through the blanket of the child, judging by the holes in it. Two had hit the young Griffon in the head. Ferdinand could only hope those were the first shots, so as to have spared him the agony, no matter how short it may have been, of getting shot in the guts. He didn't deserve it...

Behind the child's bed were multiple bullet holes marking the wall. Three in total. Ferdinand had initially wanted to shoot just once, at the Head. But he was too nervous... so he fired off the entire cursed magazine...

The Lord-Protector took a series of deep breaths. He took a step forward, towards the bed... but then retreated again. He couldn't do it. He couldn't lay eyes on him again after what he'd done.

He swooped up his gun from the ground and inspected it briefly, just as he had done prior to the act. And now, too, he took an interest in the engraved message on the gun. Perhaps he really should get someone to translate it for him...

He clenched his eyes and stowed away his gun again, then he turned his back to the crime scene and walked over to the Door. And yet, just as he was about to leave, a last, almost inaudible hush was given out by the visibly fractured Lord-Protector:

"I'm sorry..."