Twilight Sparkle has made some new, VERY odd friends.
After the events of "A Canterlot Wedding: Part One," Twilight Sparkle encounters the League of Extraordinary Misfits, a group of outcasts each from a different world. The League decides to adopt Twilight as one of their own and help her take revenge on the ponies who coldly dismissed her. But Twilight surely wouldn't want something like that to happen to her friends...would she?
Twilight Sparkle could hardly believe what she had just gone through. A few short hours ago, she seemed to have everything; amazing friends, a great big brother, a wise mentor who helped her grow and supported her through every little pratfall and silly thing she'd done.
Now, she had none of those things.
All because of her actions.
The lavender unicorn could still hear the words of her brother Shining Armor, her friend Applejack, and her mentor Princess Celestia echoing through her ears:
"And you can FORGET about being my best mare! In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't bother showing up to the wedding."
"C'mon, y'all, let's go check on the princess."
"You've got a LOT to think about."
Twilight felt physically ill as those words repeated nonstop inside her hear. She felt as if she were going to vomit up her heart. She had lost everything and everypony she loved.
And why? Because she didn't like her brother's choice of bride.
When Twilight had first heard that her brother, the Captain of the Royal Guard of Canterlot, was going to wed her former foal-sitter, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (better known to her as Cadence), she was over the moon excited. Not only would she have an amazing older brother, she'd have an amazing sister-in-law too!
But when she saw Cadence again for the first time in years, something felt...off. The pink alicorn didn't seem to remember their special hoof-shake that they had performed countless times before when Twilight was a filly (though that could simply be chalked up to them not have doing it in years, and Twilight always had a better memory than most ponies did anyway). She seemed to act like a complete...what was the word Rarity often used when reading her bridal fashion magazines? Bridezilla. Throwing away the food Applejack had painstakingly prepared for the wedding banquet, sarcastically "praising" Pinkie Pie's (admittingly filly-ish) ideas for reception games, heaping demand upon demand on Rarity to make her wedding dress more grandiose. Sure, a wedding was a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, and she could see why a bride would want her big day to be as close to perfect as equinely possible, but she just seemed overly rude and mean, even if her friends hadn't seen it that way.
But what had pushed Twilight over the breaking point into thinking Cadence was evil was seeing her "brainwash" Shining Armor by hitting him with some sickly green magic. What else could she do at this point? She had to confront Cadence and keep Shining from making the biggest mistake of his life.
But Twilight had ultimately made the biggest mistake of HER life by doing just that at the wedding rehearsal.
She had confronted Cadence about all the "horrible" things she had witnessed that day. She had listed everything she'd done; the harsh critiques, replacing her bridesmaids with her friends, and most importantly, casting a spell on her brother. She had smugly expected the alicorn to admit that she was a wicked witch.
And she had shockedly watched as her former foalsitter burst into tears and ran away in heartbreak.
Twilight felt like manure when she watched Cadence run away. But Shining had stopped her before she could slink away. He had confronted her, explaining what had ACTUALLY happened. The spell? A migraine healing spell to keep his chronic headaches from getting worse. The replacing of the bridesmaids? The former bridesmaids had only agreed to be in the wedding party to gain some clout amongst the mares of Equestria. And the harsh treatment of her friends and their work? Bridal jitters that warped her usually kind personality into a more ruthless one.
As Shining explained all of this, it made sense to Twilight. She had been so very, very wrong. About Cadence. About the whole wedding. About everything.
And now she was paying the price. She was alone in the grand hall of the Canterlot Castle after her brother, her friends and her mentor all left her to check on Cadence.
And she had nopony to blame this on but herself.
Twilight collapsed onto the floor, crying quietly to herself. "What have I done? Why did I have to go and ruin everything? I am such an idiot!"
"Oh, but you're NOT, my little pony."
Twilight's ears perked up when she heard the soft feminine voice. "What? What did you say?"
"I said you're NOT an idiot, my dear."
Twilight looked around the hall to see who was talking to her. She couldn't see anypony in the hall but herself. "Hello?" She walked into the less lit part of the hall, but nopony was there either. "Hello?"
Oh great, Twilight, now you're hearing things, the unicorn thought to herself. I must be going crazy.
"I assure you, Twilight, you're not going crazy."
Twilight's heart stopped for a second. "You...you could hear what I was thinking? And you know my name?"
The feminine voice chuckled. "But of course I do, Twilight Sparkle, prized pupil of Princess Celestia, keeper of the Element of Magic, defeater of Nightmare Moon and Discord, savior of Equestria."
Twilight felt her face heat up with embarrassment as the unknown voice praised her. "Please, ma'am, I'm not any of those things." Her ears drooped. "Especially not after what I've done tonight."
"Now now, you mustn't beat yourself up over that. Any sister worth her salt would want to protect her brother from such a mare."
"But that mare didn't do anything wrong," Twilight protested. "She was just trying to make her day perfect. I was the one who was wrong. And because of that..."
"You're an outcast," the voice finished for her. Twilight sadly nodded her head. "I know all too well about being an outcast, little pony."
"You do?" Twilight sniffed. "How? And...where exactly ARE you, anyway?"
The voice chuckled. "Oh right, silly me. One moment."
Twilight watched in amazement as a swirling purple mist began to form in front of her eyes. Before long, the mist had taken the form of a tall, thin female creature with lilac skin, long black hair and red and gold eyes wearing a purple dress. The creature almost seemed to be made of smoke and mist. "Who...who are you?" the astonished unicorn asked.
The female creature smiled. "I, my dear Twilight, am Eris."
Twilight couldn't keep her eyes off of the beautiful creature standing before her. She was unlike any animal she had ever seen in all of Equestria. "Eris?" she repeated the name the creature had given herself.
"Yes," Eris agreed. "Eris, the goddess of discord."
"Discord?" Twilight's ears flattened against her head as the word brought back memories of the draconequus who had wreaked havoc on Ponyville a few months before with his bizarre brand of chaos magic. Fortunately she and her friends (or rather her EX-friends, she realized) had been able to seal the mad god inside a stone prison and restore harmony.
Eris laughed as she saw the unicorn's face change from awe to anger. "Don't worry, my dear. I'm not connected in any way to the draconequus who attacked your town. He was a creature acting all on his own accord."
"Oh." Twilight's face softened. "Well, what are you doing here in Equestria anyway? I mean, you're clearly not a pony of any kind, so you're probably not from around here, are you?"
"Smart girl." Eris shifted into a misty cloud for a moment, then back into her regular form as she reappeared closer to Twilight. "You see, I'm an outcast from my own world."
"Your world? There's more than one world?"
"Oh yes, my little pony. There are many different worlds in the grand universe."
"Wow." Twilight's mind was blown. "I had read so many theories about more worlds other than Equestria. I've always wanted to be able to see them."
"And you will, one day," Eris promised.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Twilight asked. "We just met."
Eris smiled. She shifted back into mist, then to her normal form, now almost touching nose-to-muzzle with Twilight. "Because I want to help you. I want to be your friend."
"Why?"
"Because you can help me, and I can help you. You see, after I left my world, I traveled through the various other worlds to find outcasts and misfits like me."
"Did you find them?"
"Oh yes. I found quite a few." Eris waved her hand, and an ebony door etched with red and purple emblems Twilight wasn't familiar with appeared before them. "And I want to introduce them to you."
Twilight gasped as the door appeared. "How did you..."
"I'm a goddess, remember?" The door opened, revealing a set of gray marble stairs leading down into what looked like a dark pit. "Shall we?"
Twilight gulped nervously as she looked down the stairs. "I don't know if I should. Princess Celestia would probably advise against this."
"Princess Celestia isn't here," Eris reminded her. "She abandoned you, just like your brother and friends did."
They didn't abandon me, I pushed them away, Twilight wanted to retort. But somehow, it felt like what the goddess was saying was somewhat true. The unicorn took in a deep breath and tentatively started walking down the steps. She got closer to the darkness that seemed to want to swallow her whole. About halfway down, it got too dark for her, so she lit up her horn, the magenta aura creating a light to help her see the next steps. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she had reached the bottom.
"Good girl," Eris encouraged her. The goddess had clearly teleported herself to the bottom. Why she hadn't offered to take Twilight with her was beyond her. "Now, follow me." The goddess floated off down a dark gray marble tunnel.
Twilight felt a cold sense of dread begin to form in her gut. Every part of her brain was screaming that this was a bad idea. Well, I'm already down here, she decided. Might as well go all the way. She followed the goddess down the tunnel, a few steps behind.
After a while, Eris stopped in front of a door that looked like the one she had conjured up in the grand hall. "Ready to meet your new friends, Twilight?"
"I guess so," the unicorn replied meekly.
Eris smiled and petted the pony's blue, purple and pink mane. "Don't be so nervous. I know they'll love you." She pushed the door open.
Twilight followed Eris into the room. It was certainly different than what she had expected. Honestly, she wasn't quite sure just WHAT she had expected. A bloody torture chamber with dead bodies and severed limbs hanging from the ceiling? A den of ravenous flesh-eating monsters that could eat a pony in a single gulp? A coven with thirteen witches that would sacrifice Twilight to their bizarre pantheon in exchange for more power?
Nope; this was a very nice, very well lit meeting room. The walls and ceiling seemed to be made of light gray stone, and the floor was carpeted with soft pastel pink rugs. There were several shelves of books set up on three of the four walls, the fourth wall being where the door was. In the middle of the room was a large round table made of black obsidian, with matching chairs that each had a crimson cushion on the seat. Above the table was a beautiful chandelier that was made with crystals of every color known and a few unknown. Wouldn't Rarity love to see that, Twilight thought.
"Wait, I thought you said I would meet your friends in here," Twilight suddenly said aloud. "We're the only two in here. Where is everyone else?"
Eris smiled. "They'll be here soon."
Just then, the door opened, and a group of various creatures came in one by one. Twilight's eyes widened as she saw them come in. There was a rat that walked on his hindlegs and wore a black suit and red cape, a creature that looked like she was half octopus, half whatever creature Eris was, a cat that also walked on his hindlegs and wore a red suit and a monocle on his left eye, an Eris-like creature with pale green skin wearing a black robe and a tight horned cowl, a tiger that walked on all fours but seemed to possess an advanced intelligence than that of the tigers she knew Fluttershy cared for, a python that slithered like most pythons did but seemed to have the same intelligence (well, maybe not quite as much), and a trio of spotted hyenas that walked on all fours and still had intelligence (well, the female one did, the two males seemed to be quite dim-witted).
Eris smiled. "Twilight, welcome to the League of Extraordinary Misfits."
Twilight watched in awe at the various creatures in front of her, starting to take their places around the obsidian table. Not that she had never seen such creatures as rats, cats, tigers, hyenas and snakes before. Fluttershy had such a huge menagerie at her little cottage, and Rarity had a pet cat of her own. But these animals were quite different from the ones she was used to seeing at Fluttershy's cottage or Rarity's shop. They talked, and walked on two legs, and wore clothes...
"Hey, Horseshoes!" one of the male hyenas barked, breaking Twilight's thoughts. "Why don'tcha take a picture? It'll last longer!" The other male hyena laughed in a crazy way, amused by his friend's joke.
"Now Banzai, don't be like that, the poor thing obviously isn't used to seeing animals like us," the female hyena chastised him. Twilight could tell she was the leader of the three hyenas.
Eris clapped her hands to get the various creatures' attention. Everyone looked over to her and Twilight. "Everyone, I have someone I'd like to introduce you to. This is Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight blushed slightly as all the creatures' eyes faced her. "Um...hello, everyone."
"Oh my goodnessss, she issss ssssoooo cute!" the python hissed.
"TOO cute," the rat groaned. "Eris, how in the world is THIS pony a misfit? She's just like every other one of those cutesy, rainbow-colored ponies that make up this whole godforsaken world you've dragged us all to?"
"Oh, but she's VERY different, I promise you that, Ratigan," Eris replied. "She was abandoned by her friends and family when I found her."
"Oh no, you poor unfortunate soul," the octopus woman crooned, wrapping a tentacle around the unicorn.
"To be left behind by the people you loved and trussssted in," the python sighed sadly.
"Such a shame," the cat agreed.
"It will be fun to wreak vengeance on those foolish ponies for their crimes," the green creature chuckled.
"Vengeance?!" Twilight broke out of the octopus' tentacle. "No, no, you've got it all wrong!" She stood in front of everyone in the room. "No one abandoned me at all! I drove them away by being a paranoid madmare! I hurt Cadence by accusing her of being evil, and they let me know it wasn't right! I don't want vengeance! It's MY fault!"
"Oh Twilight, don't blame yourself," Eris assured her. "This poor pony was trying to protect her older brother from marrying a wretched whore of a mare. You should have seen the way that bitch was treating Twilight's friends. Throwing away delicious food that Applejack made with her own blood, sweat and tears!"
"Horrors!" the hyenas barked.
"Making demand upon demand on the poor overworked Rarity to make her already perfect dress even MORE perfect!"
"How can you improve upon perfection?" Ratigan asked.
"Coldly lambasting Pinkie Pie and the games and dances she had painstakingly prepared for the reception, that would make even the gloomiest being smile with joy!"
"I DO appreciate a good time," the octopus chuckled.
"And that spell Cadence was performing on Shining Armor!" Eris shook her head. "A migraine spell? Ha! Have you ever heard of such a ridiculous notion, Maleficent?"
"If there WERE such a spell to relieve migraines, I'd have used it to send my goons to another dimension," the green creature chuckled.
"No! That, my friends, was a brainwashing spell to sway Shining's simple little mind to be her little pet," Eris confirmed. "So poor, sweet Twilight here went to put a stop to the madness before her brother could marry the beast and make his life a living hell!"
"What sister WOULDN'T?" the tiger agreed.
Twilight felt a bit ill as Eris twisted the story to make her seem in the right. She herself knew she had overreacted; she should have at the very least gathered some tangible proof to show to the princess and Shining of Cadence's wickedness, instead of bursting into the rehearsal and blathering like a mare who'd hit the cider a few too many times. Maybe then things wouldn't have turned out the way they had...
And yet, as Eris told her story to the other members of the League of Extraordinary Misfits, Twilight felt that the way she told it had a small ring of truth to it. Cadence HAD been acting horribly, that was no doubt. And the only reason she'd gone the way she had was to protect her brother.
It was then that Twilight noticed that Eris began to use her magic to form a replica of Shining Armor. "And how does your precious "BBBFF" repay you for being a caring, concerned sister?" Eris turned to Twilight, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "He rebukes you as soon as that little harpy put on her crocodile tears! He told you to stay out of his wedding, out of his LIFE basically!" As she said that, the Shining Armor copy frowned angrily in a similar way to his face when he'd told her off.
"He never said that..." Twilight began meekly, unable to look into the eyes of the form of her brother.
"He might as WELL have!" Eris spat. The Shining replica then split into five separate replicas; her Ponyville friends.
"And your FRIENDS!" The very embodiments of Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Generosity and Loyalty, according to those stupid necklaces! They took the witch's side! Applejack chose to believe her lies! Pinkie Pie made you cry! Fluttershy cruelly walked away from you! Rarity kept her compassion from you! Rainbow Dash ABANDONED you!"
The Ponyville pony replicas turned their backs on Twilight and started walking away as they had after the confrontation with Cadence. As they did, they morphed together to form one more replica; one of an angry Princess Celestia.
"And of course, your beloved mentor, your mother figure, the keeper of the sun," Eris snickered. "What help was she during this whole time? None!"
"What COULD she do?" Twilight asked. "Cadence is her niece, her family! Of course she'd side with her!"
"Maybe so, but she could have at the very least given you some comforting words before she went to check on her precious niece, couldn't she have?" Eris asked. "Some little loving saying or any of that wisdom-sounding bullshit she spouts all the time; but all she said to you was..."
"You've got a LOT to think about," the Celestia replica finished for Eris coldly. As soon as she did, she disappeared into mist.
Twilight shook and collapsed onto the floor, crying again. However, her tears this time weren't born of anguish or heartbreak as they had been before. No, these were tears of anger, tears of frustration.
Tears of hatred.
"You're right," Twilight finally spoke, getting up off the floor. "I AM an outcast. I WAS abandoned."
"By whom?" Eris asked.
"By those wretched whores who called me their friend! By that worthless bastard of a brother of mine!" Twilight's ears flattened. "By EVERYONE."
The sun rose on a beautiful Canterlot morning. It was a big day for all ponies of the noble city; elite and common, young and old, mare and stallion.
The wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the beautiful Princess of Love, and Shining Armor, the handsome Captain of the Royal Guard.
Schools all across Equestria closed in celebration of the royal wedding, and businesses shut down for the day so the ponies not in attendance could have parties of their own. For surely all of Equestria would have a grand holiday; feasts with cake and cider and everyone in their best spirits.
Yes, today would be a perfect day indeed.
Princess Celestia beamed as she watched everypony gather in the grand hall, ready to watch her beloved niece's wedding. Shining Armor stood proudly at the altar, waiting eagerly for his bride. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had walked up the aisle as Cadence's bridesmaids, and Spike stood at his place holding the wedding rings. She was glad she could arrange such a wonderful day for Cadence.
There was only one thing missing to make it perfect.
Well, one pony.
Celestia had advised everypony to give Twilight a few minutes to gather herself after the outburst at the rehearsal. She was sure some time to reflect would be exactly what her well-meaning but somewhat unbalanced student needed to realize what she had done and they could then talk like sensible ponies.
However, when she went back into the hall to talk to Twilight, the unicorn was gone. She'd had the guards all search for her, but reports had turned up negative for the Canterlot castle. Celestia and the others had been worried for Twilight leaving while still so hysterical, but figured she had gone back to Ponyville to be by herself and reflect. A decision that was probably for the best, given how much Twilight clearly disproved of her brother's wedding in the first place.
Did it suck that Twilight wasn't there? Yes; Celestia always loved having her student at functions like these. But if this is what was needed to happen, then so be it.
Just then, the horns sounded, alerting everypony that the bride was in position to walk down the aisle. Cadence walked up to the altar as the congregation watched her in awe. Celestia smiled as her niece stood next to her groom, ready to commit to each other.
"Fillies and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to witness the blessed union of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor," the princess of the sun began. "If anypony should have any reason these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace."
SLAM! The hall doors opened, letting in a cold wind that whipped through. Ponies held onto one another to protect themselves from being blown away. The various candles around the hall were blown out, and hats were blown about the room. "What in tarnation?" Applejack asked as she had to hold onto her signature cowboy hat to keep it from flying away.
As the wind subsided, a familiar lavender pony walked down the aisle, calm and collected, an unreadable smile on her face. "I have a perfectly good reason why these two should not be wed."
"Ya just don't give up, do ya, Twi?" Applejack sighed as her other friends shook their heads and rolled their eyes.
"Silence, hick!" Twilight barked, her horn lighting up with her magenta aura. As she did, Applejack's mouth was literally zipped shut, freaking her and the others out.
"Twilight Sparkle, what is the meaning of this?" Celestia demanded.
"I'll tell you what the meaning of this is," Twilight replied coldly. "I'm here to make you all pay for what you did to me!"
"Did to YOU?" Shining asked incredulously. "What about what YOU did to Cadence?"
"You mean THIS?" Twilight's horn lit up again, but this time she used her magic to envelope Cadence. The bride struggled against the unicorn's aura, but she couldn't break free. "Somepony help!"
"Twilight, put her down this instant!" Celestia ordered.
Twilight didn't seem to hear her teacher's words, and if she did, she didn't care. She began to levitate Cadence into the air as the alicorn kicked her legs and flailed her wings in a vain attempt to get away from the young unicorn. "Help me! This pony has lost it!"
"Twilie, don't make me hurt you!" Shining warned his little sister, starting to light up his own horn to combat her magic. However, his threat didn't seem to faze her at all. In fact, it only seemed to fuel her rage.
Just then, as everypony watched in horror, Twilight's magic aura began to darken until it was very nearly black. As it did, Cadence began to gag as if she were being squeezed around the throat. Twilight smiled wickedly as she heard her victim wheeze and choke as her windpipe was crushed, blood beginning to seep into her lungs, until finally the alicorn stopped struggling. Once that happened, Twilight's aura ceased, the limp body of her victim falling to the floor.
"No!" Shining cried out, running to his bride's body, trying to stir her awake. But nothing he did was helping.
The princess of love was dead.
"Twilight, are you loco in the coco?" Pinkie Pie yelled out.
"Oh relax, this THING isn't even the REAL Cadence," Twilight rebuffed. "Watch." To everypony's amazement, the corpse began to change. Pink fur became black chitin. A luxurious tricolored coiffure became thinned out and cyan. The dead alicorn princess was now a dead Changeling queen.
"Queen Chrysalis!" Celestia gasped as she recognized the ancient foe lying on the floor.
"You know who she was?" Shining asked.
"She and her Changeling horde attempted to overtake Equestria not long after Discord's first imprisonment," Celestia explained. "My sister and I were able to blast the whole hive back to the wastelands. We thought they'd never be able to return."
"Yeah, just like you were so sure Discord would never be released from stone, huh?" Twilight asked dryly.
"Do not think just because this was not Cadence doesn't mean you're not on thin ice, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia warned her student.
"Oh suck it, Sun-Ass," Twilight replied angrily. "I'm not afraid of you anymore! I'm done being your brainwashed little stooge!"
"Brainwashed?" Celestia was taken aback. She couldn't believe Twilight would accuse her of such a cruel act.
"Twilie, I know you're pretty upset about what I said back at the rehearsal, but..." Shining attempted to talk to his sister, but he was cut off by a hoof to the face.
"Zip it, Shitty Armor," Twilight insulted him. "I can't believe I ever looked up to such a pathetic wuss like you!" Shining was too shocked by the hit and the name to respond.
Applejack finally was able to unzip her mouth. "Twilight, what in blazes has gotten into ya, girl?"
"The truth, Apple-JERK, is what has gotten into me," Twilight responded. "The truth is that none of you have ever given a flying fart about me! You only pretended to be my friends to get ahead in your careers!"
"Now, that is simply not true!" Rarity argued.
"Yes, we ARE your friends, and we love you," Fluttershy agreed meekly.
"Well, I'm afraid you girls have been replaced." She whistled. "Come on in, guys!"
Just then, the hall began to shake and rumble. Ponies screamed and panicked as they watched bizarre creatures pop up from various spots. A fully-clothed bipedal rat crawled out of a sewer vent in the castle washroom. A cat in red clothes shredded his way out of the castle laundry. A purple tentacled monster bubbled up from the castle fountain and crawled up the window, plopping onto the altar. Three slobbering hyenas dug their way up through the palace garden. A giant python slithered down a column. A tiger leapt through the window, scaring Fluttershy into a faint. A green woman appeared in a green flame. A purple woman appeared from a mist.
"Who are they?" Spike asked as the various creatures gathered around Twilight.
The ponies looked shocked at one another, then at Twilight, then at the group of mysterious creatures gathered behind her. Had they truly just heard her correctly?
"Your NEW friends?" Pinkie repeated, astonished. "What d'you mean, your NEW friends? WE'RE your friends!"
"Well, you can't be TOO surprised," Twilight retorted, a cruel half-smile on her lips. "You girls tossed me aside like an old apple core the other day. Why would I stay friends with ponies who do that?"
"Hey now, sugar cube, that ain't entirely true," Applejack tried to reason. "Yeah, we left ya, but we were givin' ya space to think about what you were doin'."
"Yeah, I mean, you were acting like Screwball off of her meds," Rainbow agreed with the orange earth pony. "We needed to give you time alone to clear your head."
"But when we went back to talk to you, you were gone," Spike finished.
"Because she had found new, BETTER friends by that point," Eris pointed out. The goddess chuckled. "I'm sorry, where are my manners? Let me introduce myself. I'm Eris, and this is Ratigan, Waul, Ursula, Shere Khan, Kaa, Shenzi, Banzai, Ed and Maleficent. We, as Twilight put it, are her NEW friends. And I'm certainly glad we found poor Twilight when we did. Heaven knows what kind of psychopaths could have gotten to her after you all left her behind." She rested a hand on the unicorn's mane as she spoke.
"GET YOUR HAND OFF OF MY LITTLE SISTER!" Shining barked, his horn lighting up, preparing to blast the goddess back.
"Oh NOW you give a buck what happens to me," Twilight snarled. "Where was that mentality when you decided to cut me out of your life?"
"What? I was NEVER going to cut you out of my life!" Shining argued, his horn losing its aura. "Out of my wedding, yes, but never out of my life! I love you, Twiley!"
"If you really loved her, you wouldn't have abandoned her," Ratigan retorted. "What kind of older brother leaves behind his baby sister?"
"A dismal kind, that's what," Waul continued.
"And what about YOU, Celestia?" Ursula asked the white alicorn standing ready to attack. "Turning your back on your most faithful student; who does that?"
"Twilight was accusing my niece of being evil," Celestia replied. "I may be Princess of Equestria, but my first duty is to my family."
"My first duty is to my family," Shenzi repeated mockingly, making her male hyena compatriots laugh. "Didn't keep ya from sending your sister to the moon, now did it?" Celestia looked away ashamed, knowing the female hyena made a good point.
"And of coursssse, we can't forget thesssse sssso-called fair weather friendssss, can we?" Kaa hissed, wrapping his immense coils in a large pen around the Ponyville ponies.
"Oh heavens no, we can't forget them," Shere Khan agreed. "How they abandoned their dearest friend when she needed them most. How they chose a pony they didn't even know over her."
"Quite horrible friends, if you ask me," Maleficent sniffed.
"Which is why I now have NEW friends," Twilight concluded. "And why we're going to teach you all a lesson you'll never forget." She lit up her horn in the dark magenta aura. "Never turn your back on a member of the League of Extraordinary Misfits."
After she said those words, Twilight shot the magical blast towards Celestia. Before the princess could be hit, however, two of her royal guards leapt up and protected her, being turned into ash as they did. Shining screamed to see two of his comrades being disintegrated by his sister.
"ATTACK!" Twilight yelled, cueing the League to start a rampage on the citizens of Canterlot.
Celestia lit up her horn with a golden aura, using her magic to open the doors of the hall. "Everypony out!" Spike yelled as he led the stampeding wedding guests towards the opened doors to get out before a great battle could begin. What nopony realized, however, was that the doorway didn't lead into the normal castle hallway, but into a dimension of bedlam and confusion. "Enjoy your stay, little ponies," Eris chortled as the doors slammed shut, trapping the baby dragon and most of the wedding guests in a chaos world.
Not that the ponies who ended up staying behind were having a much better time facing off against the League. A small group of soldiers charged towards the animal members, since they could tell they had no magic to use against them. However, they soon found out that was a mistake, as Ratigan grabbed one of the soldiers by his tail and swung him around, using him to knock his fellow guards back like pinballs and into the direction of Shere Khan and the three hyenas, who would then snap their necks with their powerful jaws and teeth. Once Ratigan let go of the guard he'd spun around, Waul gave him a wicked scratch across the shoulder, making him collapse in both dizziness and pain.
While their animal companions handled the soldiers, the other members started off against the main combatants. The three Cutie Mark Crusaders charged up towards Ursula, shouting "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DEFENDERS OF EQUESTRIA GO!" However, the sea witch used her magic necklace to blast the fillies with golden magic. In the place of the Crusaders stood three grayish-green polyps, one with a small pink bow on its head.
Shining growled when he saw what was happening to his fellow soldiers. "GET AWAY FROM THEM!" He started blasting magic beams towards the animals, though they quickly dispersed before they could be hit.
"Now now, there'ssss no need for any of that," Kaa snickered, wrapping a coil around the male unicorn to keep him from getting closer. The python then looked into the pony's eyes, his own eyes turning different colors as he hypnotized the captain of the guard. "That'ssss it. Let down your defenssssessss. Trusssst in me."
"Get away from him, you creepy snake!" Rainbow yelled, starting to fly towards the python. However, she was stopped by a green flame-like magic blast hitting her across the face. The cyan pegasus bounced backwards and hit a wall, causing her friends to run to her aid.
"Now shall you deal with ME, oh ponies," Maleficent conjured more green magic to surround her. "And all the powers of HELL!" The green fairy then exploded into a ball of flame magic, expanding into the castle roof, toppling the hall over. Celestia cast a shield spell around herself and the Ponyville ponies to keep themselves from being hit by rubble. Before anyone could fully react, Maleficent was a magnificent black dragon with a purple underbelly and soulless green eyes.
"Freaky deekey!" Pinkie squeaked as she saw the giant dragon. Applejack and Rainbow gaped wordlessly at the beast while Fluttershy and Rarity fell over in a dead faint.
Celestia lit up her horn and spread her wings, flying up towards the dragon. She began to shoot her golden magic at the beast, though Maleficent was unfazed. She snapped her jaws at the white alicorn, wanting to crush her bones between her teeth.
Celestia buzzed around the dragon's head like an insect, dodging the green flames being shot her way and shooting more magic beams at the monster's hide. Neither party would give up until her foe was defeated. "Yeah, go Princess!" Rainbow cheered as the alicorn shot another golden beam at Maleficent's chest.
"Get her, Mal!" Eris whooped as the dragon swiped a claw towards the pony, the force knocking her for a bit of a loop.
Suddenly, both parties fell silent as Maleficent snapped her jaws shut once more, catching Celestia's wing in the process. There was a sickening crunch as the bones were broken, followed by a shrill scream of pain from the alicorn. Satisfied, the dragon opened her mouth, dropping the princess to the ground, watching her land with a hard thud.
"PRINCESS!" Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, and the now awake Fluttershy and Rarity all ran towards their fallen sun keeper, her right wing shredded and bloody. Celestia weakly got back onto her hooves, only to be faced with her former student, looking smug and triumphant. "Twilight..."
"The other day, you told me that I had a lot to think about," Twilight cut her off coldly. "Well, you were right, I DID have a lot to think about."
"Twilight, please, don't do this," Celestia begged, her pleading falling on deaf ears.
"And what I came up with after thinking was this: you're DONE." With that, the lavender unicorn lit up her horn, the dark magenta magic consuming her former teacher, causing her to scream even harder than she had when her wing was crushed. The other ponies and League members covered their eyes to prevent themselves from being blinded by the aura. Once it subsided, they all uncovered their eyes and gasped.
Standing in the place of Princess Celestia was a white stone statue, its face a mask of shock, heartbreak and fear. The other ponies hung their heads, knowing it was over for them.
Equestria was now at the mercy of the League of Extraordinary Misfits.
Princess Luna smiled as the moon slowly drifted across the sky, guided by her magic. This had always been her favorite time of the day, when the sun had made its way below the western horizon and she had placed her beloved moon in its place in the bejeweled sky.
Tonight had been a bit off though. She'd noticed that when it was time for the sun to begin its setting, it had remained stagnant. It wasn't like her older sister Celestia to forget to move the sun; usually Celly was VERY diligent with her solar duties. Though today WAS the wedding of their beloved niece Cadence and Captain Shining Armor. Luna figured with all the planning Celly had made and the ceremony going on, she'd simply let the sun slip her mind.
Not that Luna really minded. Solar magic wasn't too different from lunar magic, after all. She'd just guided the sun to its nightly resting place in the heavens a few minutes behind schedule, and then brought out the moon and a single bright star. The ponies often credited Luna with also bringing forth the many glittering stars as well as the moon; not so. She only had control of the first star of the night; the others always followed their older sister in line of their own volition.
Luna beamed proudly as she flew across the night sky from the spot on the mountains where she always did her nocturnal work and back to the Canterlot castle. However, she immediately noticed something off when she got closer. The great hall where the wedding was scheduled to take place was in shambles, bits of stone rubble littering the courtyard below. A large patch of the courtyard's grass had also been burned, the dead black a striking contrast against the lively green of the rest of the lawn. Truly, something terrible had gone on in her absence. But what, exactly?
The dark blue alicorn then noticed a familiar lavender unicorn standing on the undamaged ledge of the hall, talking with a bipedal rat in black clothing and a bipedal cat in red clothing. She flew over to them and landed ten feet away from Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, what happened here?"
Twilight immediately stopped talking with her rodent and feline companions and turned to face the night princess. However, the look in the young unicorn's eyes was not one of admiration or joy, as she was so used to seeing in her sister's pupil's eyes. No, this look was one of contempt, of cruelty; of VICTORY. "Princess Luna. Good evening."
Luna was a bit thrown by the tone in Twilight's voice. "Um...good evening." She looked again to the rat and cat beside Twilight, grinning wickedly. "I ask again; what happened here?"
"What happened, dear Luna, is that justice has been served against those who have wronged us," Twilight explained.
"Justice? Wronged us?" Luna was confused. "What do you mean?"
Twilight smirked and pointed a hoof into the hall. "See for yourself."
Luna looked into the hall and immediately felt her stomach drop. Standing in the middle of the undamaged part of the hall was the petrified visage of her sister. Surrounding the statue-fied princess of the sun were six cages, arranged in a circle, each containing one of Twilight's Ponyville friends and her older brother Shining Armor, all looking heartbroken and defeated. Applejack had taken her hat off and held it against her chest solemnly, Pinkie Pie's normally curly magenta mane and tail were deflated and straight, Fluttershy was lying on her stomach quietly crying, Rarity had fainted and Rainbow Dash was curled up in a panicked ball. Next to the cages were three hyenas, a tiger and a python, each dressed in gold Canterlot guard armor.
Luna looked at Celestia's statue form, her eyes welling up. "Sister...who has done this?"
"The League of Extraordinary Misfits," Twilight answered, walking triumphantly into the hall. The Ponyville ponies and Shining watched their former friend and sister with sorrow in their eyes. "They have made Celestia pay for what she did to me; and to you."
"Done to me?" Luna turned to the unicorn, a mix of anger and sadness on her face. "What do you mean? Celestia did nothing to me!"
"Oh really?" Twilight gave the alicorn an arched eyebrow. "What about the fact that she banished you to the moon for a thousand years? That doesn't warrant some punishment?"
"I did that to myself!" Luna argued. "I let my envy and anger corrupt me! I let the Tantabus take control of me and turn me into Nightmare Moon! Celestia only banished me to protect Equestria! The fault was solely on me!"
"Poor, sweet, naïve Luna," Twilight cooed. "Letting your misguided love for that she-demon Celestia cloud your mind. I was once like you; I let her "wisdom" and "kindness" blind me to the fool I was for trusting a word that came out of her mouth. But now that I've made new friends, my eyes are opened for the first time in my life! I see Celestia for the tyrant she was! And I have liberated Equestria from her."
Luna looked shocked at the young unicorn as she spoke. This could not be the same Twilight Sparkle who had helped free her from Nightmare Moon's grasp months prior. And yet, she could tell it was indeed Twilight. Something had changed inside of her; someone had corrupted her heart against her mentor and friends, but it was still Twilight.
"Join me, Princess Luna," Twilight held a hoof out to the alicorn. "You and I are both outcasts, misfits in this pony world. With the League of Extraordinary Misfits, we can make Equestria ten times a better place than it ever was with Celestia in charge. Nopony will ever be cast out for thinking differently, for wanting to help in their own way. Join us, and let your true nature be free."
Luna looked at her petrified sister, then at the caged ponies surrounding the statue. She frowned and faced Twilight again. "I will not. This IS my true nature, Twilight Sparkle, and I know that THIS is not YOURS. You are a kind, gifted, smart young unicorn, and this League has brainwashed you for their own nefarious purposes. Even if it means my own death, I will not support their wicked causes."
Twilight shook her head, clicking her tongue. "You disappoint me, Luna. I thought you'd be able to free yourself from Celestia's influence now that she's gone, but I see you won't let go."
"Turn her into a statue, Twilight," the cat urged the unicorn.
"Ooh, yes," the rat agreed, borderline giddy from the idea. "She'd make a lovely statue, acting as centerpiece next to her sister here."
"No, friends, I cannot," Twilight sighed. "Equestria needs at least ONE alicorn alive to raise the sun and moon. She will live, but in the dungeons, only to be brought out at daybreak and nightfall to do her job." She nodded to the nearby hyenas. "Away with her."
"You got it, boss," the sole female hyena agreed. She and her male packmates chained Luna in magic-resistant chains around her legs and neck, rendering the alicorn powerless, and led her out of the hall towards the dungeons.
"And what will you do with thesssse traitorssss, Twilight?" the python hissed pleasantly, smirking at the caged sextet.
Twilight grinned. "Oh don't worry, Kaa. I have plans for them."
Luna lay on the cold stone floor of her dungeon cell, despondent. The former princess had been stripped of her crown, necklace and metal slippers, which had been then placed onto Twilight, who now served as Equestria’s main ruler, with her allies on the League of Extraordinary Misfits backing her up with their might and magic. Now, the lunar alicorn was only brought out of her dank, frigid cell twice a day; to bring up the sun at dawn and to bring up the moon at dusk. She was fed only plain hay and water, and a single candle served as her only method of light. But worst of all, the alicorn was allowed no visitors, and she was not permitted to leave her cell without escort.
She had never felt this lonely and helpless before, not even back when she was trapped on the moon those centuries ago. Back then, Luna could still feel her older sister’s love and protection each night, even if her Nightmare Moon form kept her from fully appreciating it. But now, Celly was gone. She felt truly alone.
Just then, the clanging of the metal door of her cell interrupted Luna’s thoughts. She turned her head to see Shere Khan standing at the entrance, Kaa coiled nearby. “It’s time for you to raise the moon,” the tiger growled at her. The alicorn nodded meekly and stood, preparing to make her bidaily trip to the bleak tower in which she would perform her nightly duty.
“And let’ssss not forget thissss,” Kaa hissed, the magic-resistant chains wrapped up in his coils. He and Shere Khan used their mouths to clamp the chains around the alicorn’s legs and neck to prevent her from using her magic to attempt to escape. “Now let’ssss go.” The python yanked the chain around Luna’s neck, jerking her forward to follow him and Shere Khan out of the dungeon.
Luna slowly trotted down the desolate hallway that led from the dungeon to the tower, silently hoping that the Ponyville ponies were doing better than she was.
Meanwhile, Ursula was lounging in a saltwater pool in the royal bathhouse, sighing contentedly as the luscious cool water lapped over her obese body. “Ah, now this is the life I was hatched to have,” she hummed happily. She clapped her hands together. “Bath maid! Oh, bath maid!”
As soon as the cecaelia called, Rarity came into view, wearing a black and purple maid’s outfit and carrying a bucket of bath products in her unicorn magic grip. “Yes, Lady Ursula?” the ivory unicorn asked, her tone flat.
“It’s time for my nightly tentacle massage, if I recall correctly,” Ursula chuckled.
Rarity felt bile rising in her throat at the thought of pampering the hideous octopus creature in the tub before her, but she knew that if she refused, she’d be swiftly punished. Swallowing back the vomit, she forced a smile onto her face. “Of course, my lady.” She set the bucket down and used her magic to bring out a bottle of massage oil, squirting some of it onto her hooves. Once prepared, the unicorn began to rub the oil into Ursula’s tentacles, once again pushing back the urge to throw up as she did.
“That’s a good girl,” Ursula smirked. “And don’t forget to get REALLY into the suction cups.”
As Rarity was being tormented cosmetically, Fluttershy was being tormented emotionally. She stood outside in the royal garden, formerly a nature preserve, now the three hyenas’ personal hunting grounds. Because of the yellow pegasus’ talent with animals, the League had put her in charge of keeping the garden stocked with plenty of prey for the ravenous predators to pick off and eat.
The worst part was, she wasn’t allowed to intervene with the hunt in any way, even if the animals they went after were creatures she had personally raised and cared for in her little cottage in Ponyville. The one time she had tried, when the unspeaking hyena named Ed went after her little rabbit friend Angel Bunny, not only had the hyenas forced her to watch as Ed ripped Angel’s head off of his body, but Shenzi had given her a pretty nasty bite on the foreleg, which she still bore the scars from.
Now, Fluttershy watched sadly and silently as the three hyenas were lying next to a bear’s carcass, their bellies greatly bloated from devouring anything salvageable on the ursine body. “Yeah, this is the life, huh fellas?” Shenzi asked.
“You said it, Shenz,” Banzai agreed, giving his full stomach a satisfied pat. “Hey Flutter Butt! Tomorrow, see if you can score us some wildebeest, huh? I haven’t had wildebeest since we left the Pridelands!” Ed laughed in agreement.
“Oh…of course, anything you want,” Fluttershy agreed timidly. “I’ll get right on that.”
The day wasn’t going so hot for Applejack either. She had worked for hours cooking and baking for a banquet for one rodent and one feline, and she was forced to watch her clients eat her hard work without being allowed to taste even a morsel of the goodies.
At this moment, Ratigan was stuffing large handfuls of applesauce cake into his face, while Waul was slurping up noodles. “Mmm, this is delicious,” the cat purred between swallows.
“I’ll say it is,” Ratigan agreed. “You’ve outdone yourself, Applejack.”
GRRRRRRROWL! Applejack’s stomach let out a loud roar of hunger. “Oh c’mon, you two, lemme have just ONE bite! I’m starvin’!”
“Hmm…” Waul looked at his rodent companion. “What do you say, Padraic? Shall we let the poor hungry pony feed her hungry tummy?”
“Oh, why not?” Ratigan chuckled. He took a baked apple, cut off a tiny slice, and gave it to Applejack. “Here you go, my dear.”
Applejack eyed the baked apple slice, her eyebrows arched. “Gee, thanks,” she responded sarcastically, wolfing down the morsel before the sadistic animals could take it back.
Waul smiled as he finished his meal, rubbing his slightly distended belly. “Ah, that was a fine meal.”
“What say we have some entertainment to help aid the digestion?” Ratigan suggested. He took a small gold bell out of his jacket pocket and rang it. Immediately, Pinkie Pie jumped into the banquet hall, dressed in a yellow and blue jester’s costume. “Do your little comedy routine, pink one.”
“Grrrrreetings, ladies and germs!” Pinkie began, her tone chipper but her mood dour. “I just flew in from Saddle Arabia, and boy, are my forelegs tired!” She flapped her forelegs, mimicking a pegasus’ wings. Noticing her audience wasn’t really getting into it, she started pulling rainbow-colored balls out of nowhere and juggled them. “Say, why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four doors…”
“They’d be chicken sedans,” Ratigan groaned. “We’ve heard all those tired jokes! Move on to the GOOD part.”
Pinkie groaned slightly. “You got it, Professor.” She pulled a cream pie out of hammerspace, then smashed it in her own face. While she wobbled around, the whipped cream blocking her vision, she tripped over one of the balls she’d dropped from her juggling routine, crying out “Great googly moogly!” and falling flat onto her back with a dull thud. “Ta-da!”
Ratigan and Waul laughed like crazy at the display before them, holding their stomachs. “Physical comedy,” Pinkie told the audience reading the story. “Gets ‘em every time!”
“Oh, oh good Lord, Pinkie, too funny,” Ratigan panted, trying to get his breath.
“Ohhh, that’s gold,” Waul agreed, taking his monocle off from his left eye to dab at the tears streaming down his face.
“Glad you liked it,” Pinkie replied, standing up on her hind legs, then backflipping out of the room, followed by Applejack wheeling out the dirty dishes on a cart. “Owie, I think I snapped a tendon on that fall…”
Out in the training courtyard, where the royal guard had once held sparring practices and trained to be in peak physical condition, Rainbow Dash was dressed up in a pink fluffy ballgown and plastic gold-colored jewelry, standing on a raised platform, not enjoying anything going on. The pegasus’ wings had been trussed up in strong leather bonds, rendering her unable to fly. “Oh, woe is me,” she lamented dryly.
“More emotion!”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “This is stupid! I’m not some damsel in distress!”
“Do it or else!”
The cyan pegasus groaned, but made her voice softer and more feminine. “Oh woe is me, I have been kidnapped by the brilliant, talented, beautiful Mistress of All Evil! Whoever will save me?”
“Fear not, fair maiden,” Shining Armor spoke up, wearing flimsy faux leather armor and carrying a wooden sword meant for foal’s play in his hilt. “I shall save thee.”
“Not so fast, dashing knight,” Maleficent replied, stepping in front of Rainbow. “You shall not get past me and the powers of Hell!” With that, she swung her staff at Shining, missing him entirely. However, Shining reacted as if she had struck him through the heart with an iron blade. He clutched at his chest and toppled over. “Oh no, I have been defeated! Surely no knight is enough to defeat your beautiful wickedness, Maleficent!” He then pretended to die.
Maleficent smirked at the play scene performed. “VERY nicely done, you two; though next time, Shining, remember it’s “MARVELOUS wickedness,” not “BEAUTIFUL wickedness.””
“Yeah, you’re lucky I’m not able to get up into the air,” Rainbow muttered.
“What was that, “damsel?”” Maleficent asked, eyeing the colorful pony.
“Uh, I said “Yeah, Shining, be sure to put in more flair,”” Rainbow lied.
“That’s what I THOUGHT you said.”
As all of these torments were happening to the various ponies, Luna had been unshackled long enough to set the sun and raise the moon and first star, then she was quickly chained up again and led back to her prison. The tiger and python locked her up in her cell. "Ssssleep tight, PRINCESSSSS," Kaa mocked her before he and Shere Khan left.
Luna collapsed onto the stone floor. What could she do but wait for the morning for her daily duties? She could only pray that some miracle would release her and save Twilight Sparkle from the League's grasp.
Twilight sat at a wooden desk in the palace library, re-reading a book of advanced spells she had read many times before. Ever since she had deposed of the princesses, she had become the figurehead of Equestrian government, though her friends on the League of Extraordinary Misfits had taken over most of the duties the royalty had. Her days were mostly full of reading and practicing different spells; some things she was quite familiar with.
Though somehow, her daily activities didn’t feel as fun as they had in the past. Now they felt tedious and sad. She couldn’t quite put her hoof on why, however.
Twilight tried to shrug off the feeling of melancholy by focusing her attention on a spell she had always been curious about but hadn’t yet tried; a shapeshifting spell that could transform the magician or a volunteer into any creature they wanted. The lavender unicorn took a deep breath and closed her eyes, picturing the animal she wanted to become in her mind. “That’s it. Just focus,” she told herself. She concentrated her mind on the animal, feeling her magic sweep over her body like a wave.
As Twilight focused on the mental image of the animal, she felt her body begin to change. Her forelegs slowly lost their hairy cover and split at the ends into fingers. Her hindlegs began to sprout catlike toes. Her tail morphed into a paintbrush-like appendage. Wings began to grow from her back. Before she knew it, the spell had completely taken her over.
Twilight opened her eyes as she felt the magic begin to disperse. She hurried over to a nearby mirror to observe the changes. Looking back at her was a magnificent griffon with purple eyes. “Ha ha! It worked! Oh man, if Rainbow Dash saw me looking like Gilda…”
The unicorn stopped midsentence. “Rainbow Dash…” she repeated the name sadly. No wonder she felt so low practicing her spells; it wasn’t nearly as much fun trying out new magic without her ex-friends encouraging her.
Not that she didn’t try out new spells for the League, of course. She remembered the previous day, she had performed a difficult teleportation spell that had taken her several tries to master in front of Ursula and Maleficent. And while the two ladies had been very impressed when she pulled it off, it wasn’t the same as Rainbow Dash drumming on her back encouragingly or Pinkie Pie throwing a “Twilight just did a new spell” party.
Twilight sighed, letting go of the spell, her body turning back into her regular unicorn form. While part of her was still furious with the Ponyville ponies and her brother for turning their backs on her at the wedding rehearsal, part of her had to admit she kind of missed them all.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
Twilight yelped as she looked up from her desk at the discord goddess watching her from the doorway. “Eris, hi. No, you’re not interrupting anything at all. I was just reading up on some new spells.”
“I can see that,” Eris smirked as she saw the overturned book on the desk. “Advanced spells. Impressive. Have you found anything in there about controlling celestial bodies?”
“Huh? You mean like raising the sun and moon?” Twilight asked. Eris nodded. “Why would there be a spell in the book for that? Only alicorns can control those things.”
“Oh really?” Eris smiled, shifting into mist and reforming lying on her stomach on top of Twilight’s desk. “Because I seem to recall that before Celestia or Luna were even born, unicorns controlled the sun and moon.”
“Yeah, but that was eons ago,” Twilight retorted. “That magic has died out in unicorns since the princesses took over. And now, we have Luna performing double duty. Even if I COULD find a spell like that, why would I need to?”
Eris chuckled and shifted into mist, reforming next to Twilight. “Come now, Twilight, what kind of talk is that? Do you think you would have been chosen as Celestia’s personal pupil if you had held that “I don’t need this spell, so I’m not going to try to learn it” mentality when you were a filly?”
Twilight thought about that. “Well, no, I guess not. But I still don’t see why you’d WANT me to learn that spell.”
“Because I’m your friend, Twilight,” Eris explained. “Friends encourage each other to be the best them they can be, right?” The unicorn nodded. “Well, by learning a spell to raise the sun and moon, you’d be becoming your best self.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Twilight replied. “Kind of.”
Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Twilight, the traitors would like to have a word with you,” Maleficent told the unicorn.
Eris sneered. “Tell them that Twilight is busy learning new magic.”
“No, it’s all right,” Twilight argued. “I’ll go talk to them, then get right back to learning those spells.” Eris looked annoyed, but seemed to comply with this idea. Twilight didn’t know why Eris cared whether or not she learned the spell, but she appreciated having her friend’s support.
Twilight followed Maleficent and Eris down the hall towards a large spare bedroom, which had been converted into six upper class prison cells like the one Luna was kept in, only these were protected by a force field rather than iron bars, so while the ponies could move around more, they still couldn’t escape. The only way out was if one of the magical beings let the field down, which only happened when the ponies were needed to perform their new roles as servants to the League.
Twilight went into the prison room, where her five former friends and older brother were waiting for her. “I can handle it, ladies, thank you,” she told the fairy and goddess. Maleficent nodded and left the room; however, Eris stayed behind, in case the prisoners got too rowdy, Twilight supposed.
The unicorn looked solemnly at the prisoners before her, each looking back at her with unreadable faces. “You wanted to speak to me, I was told,” she spoke up.
Shining walked up to the edge of his personal force field so he was seemingly inches from his younger sister, though he couldn’t touch her. “Twilight, we’ve all gone through a lot these past few days. While I was once a proud, decorated member of the Royal Guard of Canterlot, now I have been reduced to plaything for your fairy friend. These mares, once noted career ponies, are mere servants to this League of Extraordinary Misfits that you have become enleagued with. Our sun princess is now a stone decoration, and our moon princess wallows in the Canterlot dungeons. And through it all, I have just one thing to say to you.”
“And what would that be?” Twilight asked coldly.
“I love you.”
Twilight blinked, thrown a bit off guard by her brother’s words. She had expected him to say that he hated her, that he never wanted to see her again, that he thought she was the scum of the earth for becoming a part of the League. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
“I love you, Twilie. I’ve loved you from the second you were born, and I’ll love you until the day I draw my last breath.”
The unicorn looked flabbergasted. She couldn’t be hearing this right. “You…love me?”
“Of course I do.” Shining smiled, a warm, kind smile. “You’re my Little Sister Best Friend Forever.”
The Ponyville ponies walked up to the edges of their force fields. “We love you too, sugar cube,” Applejack spoke up.
“We do, you’re the most wonderful friend any of us could ask for,” Fluttershy agreed.
“Yeah, and we don’t blame you for being mad at us,” Pinkie added. “We were real stinkers back at the rehearsal.”
“We acted absolutely horridly,” Rarity concurred.
“We tossed aside your loyalty, your trust, your friendship for some fancy-schmancy pony that ended up not being worth a hill of horse apples,” Rainbow Dash grunted sadly.
“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for throwing you out of my wedding, Twilie,” Shining sighed. “I was a real flankhole to you, and all you ever did was care about my wellbeing. I know you’ll probably never forgive me, or any of us, for what we did, but we want you to know that we are all truly sorry.” One by one, the Ponyville mares offered their apologies as well.
“I’m so sorry, sugar.”
“Really, really sorry.”
“Exceedingly sorry, darling.”
“Super-duper sorry!”
“Sorry, Twi.”
Twilight stood there, unable to move or talk. She felt as if something inside her was going to burst. Before she could find a word to say, though, Eris cleared her throat.
“Well, isn’t that a LOVELY little show,” the goddess commended, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “But your little crocodile tears show isn’t going to sway us into giving you six any special treatment.”
“Hey now, that’s not what we were trying to do!” Applejack cried out.
“We really ARE sorry,” Fluttershy piped up meekly.
“Shut it!” Eris pounded her fist on the force field in front of Fluttershy, making contact like it was a plexiglass wall, making the yellow pegasus jump back. “Come on, Twilight, you don’t have time to listen to their pathetic schlock. You have a celestial spell to learn.”
Twilight looked silently from the League leader to the ponies in the force fields, then back to Eris. She seemed to want to say something, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. She simply gave a sad nod to the other ponies, then walked out the room, followed closely behind by Eris, who slammed the door behind her.
“How did it go?” Maleficent asked, having waited outside the door.
“Just as you’d think it would go,” Eris replied. “Those little ponies tried throwing a little pity party to lure Twilight back into their trap, but our girl is too strong for that, aren’t you, Twilight?”
“Yeah…” Twilight responded, not really paying attention. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back into the library now.”
“Good girl, good girl, find that spell and master it for me,” Eris encouraged her. The lavender unicorn gave a small nod and walked off.
“What spell?” Maleficent asked the smirking goddess.
“Let’s just say that once Twilight masters that spell, there’ll be no need to keep little Luna alive any longer.”
Twilight screamed as she ran down the dark hallway. She was being chased by some of the worst villains she'd ever faced; Nightmare Moon, Discord and Queen Chrysalis. However, the three baddies were now zombified versions of themselves. Nightmare Moon was now a wispy shadow moving fluidly like a blob of ink, Discord's left side was all stone while his right half was its normal hues, and Chrysalis was dripping green acidic blood out of the multiple holes in her body, including a huge gash around her neck where Twilight had strangled her.
After what seemed like an eternity of running, Twilight ran into a dead end. She gasped, trying to work her magic to teleport away from the undead villains, but her horn wouldn't work. "Oh no, oh no, oh no," she hyperventilated. "Help! Eris! Maleficent! Ursula! Someone, please, help me!"
"It'ssss too late for you, Twilight Ssssparkle," Chrysalis hissed, spraying green ooze as she spoke.
"You're gonna pay for what you did to us," Discord growled. Twilight whimpered and shut her eyes, praying she'd be killed quickly.
Suddenly, she heard three magical blasts, then the groaning and sizzling of magic hitting flesh. When she opened her eyes, the three villains were reduced to a trio of burned piles of ashes. She gasped when she saw a white hot ball of energy approaching her. "What in Equestria?"
Just then, the white ball morphed into a familiar white alicorn with an ethereal mane and tail, smiling at her. "Hello, Twilight."
Twilight felt her heart swell when she saw her former mentor before her. "Princess Celestia? You...saved me? But....why? After what I did to you..."
Celestia pulled her student into a hug. "I don't blame you for being angry with me, Twilight. I chose to believe that monster Chrysalis over you, and in doing so, I nearly put all of Equestria in jeopardy. What if Chrysalis had been able to bring her Changeling horde into Canterlot before you ended her? No, you had every right to be angry; though I would've preferred it if you hadn't turned me into stone." The alicorn chuckled slightly.
Tears spilled out from Twilight's eyes. "Princess, I am so sorry. I don't know what to feel anymore. I turned my back on you, on my brother, on my friends, and they all still love me. YOU still love me. And I don't know why."
"Because we know the TRUE you, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia assured her. "The you that is kind and loving. The you that isn't being influenced by Eris and her cohorts. You may have strayed from your path, but you will find your way again, I know it. And I will always be here to guide you, if not physically, but in your mind, and your heart."
"Thank you, Princess." Twilight bowed her head. When she raised it, Celestia had disappeared. "Princess? Princess?"
"Princess....Princess..." Twilight snorted, waking herself up. "Wha…" She looked around. She was in the palace library, surrounded by half-opened books. She had fallen asleep trying to find a celestial spell. "Oh...it was just a dream."
It may have been a dream, but that doesn't mean what I said in it isn't true, Twilight heard her mentor's voice in her head. You can find your path again. I have faith in you, Twilight. We all do.
Twilight smiled, feeling better that she still had Celestia in her corner, if only in spiritual form. Then, the unicorn frowned, realizing what she had to do. Please watch over me, Princess Celestia, while I do this.
Twilight raced down the hall she knew led to the dungeons. She had thrown her saddle bags over her back, and she was preparing herself to pull off her plan. But first, she needed to find Princess Luna.
The unicorn stopped short in front of the dungeon door, inches from bumping into a familiar tiger form. Buck, she cursed silently. She had forgotten that Shere Khan and Kaa were guarding the dungeon to keep anypony from getting in or out. She expected to here the tiger and snake trying to grill her for information why she was down there...
And instead heard a growling snore. Apparently Shere Khan and Kaa were both asleep at their posts. Khan was curled up in an orange-and-black ball, and Kaa was coiled up in a rafter. Thank goodness, Twilight sighed in her head. She had to get in without disturbing either of them. Then, she remembered she could do magic. Twilight lit up her horn quickly and teleported herself on the other side of the door.
"NNn...what?" Kaa opened his eyes for a second. He looked around, thinking he had seen a flash. But nothing was there. "Oh..." The python yawned and fell back asleep.
Twilight ran down the steps leading to the dungeon. She saw the dark blue alicorn curled up on the stone floor in her cell. She screwed her face up as she concentrated on the locked door of the cell, making it swing open.
Luna lifted her head, hearing the familiar clang of the metal door, though in a hushed tone. "What? It can't already be time for me to raise the sun, can it?"
"No, it's time for you to take your place back on Equestria's throne."
The alicorn beamed as she saw the lavender unicorn standing at the cell entrance. "Twilight Sparkle. I knew you'd come through in the end." She embraced Twilight. "Wait, what about..."
"It's all right, I teleported here, then cast a spell to mute our speech from their ears," Twilight explained. She used her magic to pull some things out of her left saddle bag. "I believe these belong to you, Your Highness."
Luna smiled as Twilight used her magic to place her crown and necklace back onto her body, then set her slippers onto the floor for her to slip her hooves into. "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle."
"Don't thank me yet, Princess. We still need to get to the spare bedroom prison and get my brother and the others out...if you'll help me, I mean."
"Twilight Sparkle, I would help you break into Tartarus."
The six ponies in the force field prison were sound asleep, waiting to be woken up the next morning to perform their daily servant duties.
Suddenly, they heard a slight humming sound that woke them all up. "What in tarnation?" Applejack asked.
"The force fields are being broken down," Shining Armor noticed. The five mares noticed that what he said was true; they could now move out of their holding areas.
"Ugh, why are we being hailed at this hour?" Rainbow Dash groaned.
"I hope it's not those hyenas looking for me to round them up a midnight snack," Fluttershy whimpered.
"Nope; just a pony who's sorry for what she did to you."
The six prisoners gasped happily as they recognized the voice that spoke, then saw the lavender unicorn who had used her magic to break the force fields. "TWILIGHT!" they all squeaked excitedly. They glomped around her in a group hug.
"Oh, we are so happy to see you again, darling," Rarity cooed.
"We sure are!" Pinkie Pie agreed.
"I'm so sorry, you all," Twilight sniffled. "I shouldn't have turned on you all. You're the best friends I could have ever asked for."
"After what we did to you, Twiley, I don't blame you for turning," Shining assured her.
"At least you returned to us in a relatively quick fashion," Luna told Twilight. "It took me a thousand years to come to my senses."
Twilight laughed slightly, tears streaming down her face. She sniffed, trying to pull herself together. "OK, guys, getting you all out was the easy part. Now we've gotta take down the League of Extraordinary Misfits."
"Oh-ho-ho, I am SO looking forward to that part," Rainbow chuckled, rubbing her forehooves together.
"What's the plan, sugar?" Applejack asked.
"We send them out of Equestria, using these," Twilight explained, using her magic to take out the Elements of Harmony. She then used her magic to fasten each necklace onto her friends' necks, then plop her tiara onto her head. "And Shining, we need your fighting expertise too."
"Count on me, sis," Shining saluted.
"OK, let's do this," Twilight pumped her hoof in the air. The six Elements, the captain of the guard and the night princess turned around as Twilight used her magic to push open the door...
And found themselves face-to-face with the members of the League of Extraordinary Misfits.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Eris asked, her eyes shifting over each of the ponies standing in the doorway. "It seems our little Twilight has turned traitor."
"Such a shame," Maleficent agreed. "Such magical talent wasted on helping these wretched creatures."
"Shut up!" Twilight barked. "You're the ones who turned me traitor! I should NEVER have listened to you! Because of you, I betrayed my friends, betrayed my brother..." The lavender unicorn started to tear up. "Betrayed Princess Celestia!"
"Sweet, simple little Twilight," Eris clicked her tongue, her tone still rather soft and motherly. She shifted into her mist form, then re-solidified in front of Twilight. "You were NEVER going to reach your full magical potential under that old mule's tutelage. With the League of Extraordinary Misfits, you could have learned to control the sun, the moon, the planets. You could have the power to move mountains, to turn the seas into jelly."
"Ooh, that DOES sound tasty," Pinkie Pie noted. Applejack responded by bonking her pink friend lightly on the back of the head. "What? I'm not saying she should DO it!"
"But, just because I'm a reasonable goddess, I'll give you one more chance." Eris rested her hand under Twilight's chin, tilting her head up gently. "Join us again. Turn your back on these weak little ponies and be the mage you were born to be."
Twilight responded by slapping Eris' hand off of her chin with her hoof. "I'd sooner DIE than be one of you again."
Eris arched an eyebrow. "Very well." She smirked at the other members of the League. "You heard her, everyone. Time for Twilight Sparkle and her friends to..."
POW!
Before Eris could finish her sentence, a magical blast broke through a nearby wall. Standing in the hole her magic created was a young pink alicorn with a tricolored mane and tail and purple eyes narrowed in anger. "Get away from them!"
"CADENCE!" Twilight, Shining Armor and Luna all cried out in unison.
Cadence smiled as she flew up into the air and landed next to Twilight. "Hello, everypony. Sorry I'm late to the party." She jumped in front of Twilight. "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake."
"Clap your hooves and do a little shake," Twilight finished the rhyme with her.
Maleficent sneered at the alicorn. "WHAT?! How did you break free from my spell?"
"Spell?" Shining repeated. "What spell?"
"The spell that Maleficent cast on me when Queen Chrysalis replaced me," Cadence explained. "She put me in a death-sleep, and the League then placed my body in the abandoned mines underneath Canterlot, where nopony could find me and they hoped I'd wither and decay while their ally took over my life."
"Ally?" Twilight gasped, looking at the League in shock. "Chrysalis was a member of the League?"
"Yes," Eris admitted, smiling wickedly. "We knew that Chrysalis could be a powerful magical being, but she needed to feed on love to power herself and her horde of Changelings to do any REAL magic. Sure, she could use her powers to drain people of their love, but really, what magical being CAN'T do something that simple?"
"I was sucking emotions out of beings by the time I was three," Ursula chuckled.
"So we agreed to help Chrysalis intercept Canterlot," Eris continued. "She would take over Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's life and marry Shining Armor to weaponize his love for her, as well as use the continuous streams of love from every pony in this mind-numbingly sweet world."
"I know, five minutes here and I could feel my blood sugar levels rising," Ratigan snarked.
"But then, through Chrysalis reporting back to me her knowledge of Canterlot and its ponies, trying to find the weak spots to take it over, she kept mentioning the name Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's prized pupil, one of the most powerful unicorns ever in Equestria history." Eris smiled at Twilight, who glared back at her. "Twilight had raw talent that DIDN'T need to be fueled by an outside source, UNLIKE Chrysalis. I realized that it would be more beneficial for me to have HER on my side than Chrysalis."
"So you betrayed Chrysalis in favor for Twilight," Applejack figured. "You really ARE a lowdown bitch!"
Eris grinned. "I may be, but I'm not the ONLY one who betrayed their friend, now am I?" The five Ponyville ponies and Shining Armor all looked guiltily amongst themselves, understanding what the goddess was referring to. "I was trying to find the perfect way to persuade Twilight to join the League, but you all turning your backs on her provided me with a singular opportunity. I decided to fuel Twilight's anguish and heartbreak over seemingly losing your friendship and helped her morph it into anger and hatred."
Cadence gave her fiancé a rather angry look before continuing. "And when Twilight killed Chrysalis, the spell on me began to fade. Because there was no Changeling to pretend to be me, the spell was rendered moot somehow. It took several days for it to fully be broken, but once I was awake, I used my magic to break out of the caves and get here to help you all."
"That all makes sense, I guess," Twilight figured. "But what I DON'T get is, why would you want to take over Equestria in the FIRST place."
"For revenge, for what your "friendship" did to Discord," Eris replied, her tone becoming angrier.
Twilight was now quite confused. "But you said you didn't have any connection to Discord."
"She lied," Cadence replied. "Eris is Discord's mother."
"WHAT?!" the other ponies all yelled in unison.
Eris sneered. "That's right. Discord was my son. And you stupid ponies took him away from me! First this lunar bitch and her sister, then you and your little friends!"
"And that's why you had me turn Celestia into stone!" Twilight realized. "Because the Elements turned Discord into stone!"
"Yes, and once you had mastered celestial magic, I was going to have you turn Luna into stone as well, then shatter their statues!" Eris' tone was now practically screaming. "YOU ROTTEN PONIES RIPPED MY HEART OUT THE DAY YOU TURNED MY BABY TO STONE! NOW I'M GOING TO RIP YOU ALL APART LIMB FROM LIMB! LEAGUE, ATTACK!"
The League of Extraordinary Misfits began to charge at the ponies. However, this time, the ponies had two alicorns and Twilight on their side, and they were all prepared to fight back.
Ursula began to use her seashell magic to blast golden beams at the ponies, who kept dodging them. However, she was met by a levitating bottle of massage oil aimed for her face, that soon squirted into her eyes, temporarily blinding her. As she was distracted, Rarity then bonked her on the head with the bucket of bathing products. "Massage your own filthy tentacles from now on, you witch!"
Pinkie Pie somehow was able to find her party cannon, so she started blasting it at Ratigan and Waul. Soon the rodent and cat were tangled up in streamers and confetti. "How's THAT for a "tired joke," jerks?!" Applejack then stuck two apples into their mouths for added insult.
The three hyenas started chasing Fluttershy, who immediately started to run. "Come back here, Flutters, we're not gonna hurt ya, we just wanna play," Banzai snickered as the chase continued. After a minute, though, Fluttershy ran towards a stone wall, then flew upwards. Before the hyenas could realize what was going on, they smacked headfirst into the wall, knocking themselves out. "THAT was for Angel Bunny," the yellow pegasus growled.
Kaa started to coil around Shining again, his eyes turning different colors again. Shining tried to look away, but a coil forced his head in place so he was soon hypnotized again. However, the snake's spell was broken when a flying Shere Khan collided with him, causing both he and the tiger to get tangled up together. Shining shook his head to see that his savior was Cadence, who had blasted Khan back. "No one makes eyes at my Shining but me!" the alicorn announced confidently.
Rainbow Dash flew around Maleficent, who kept shooting green beams at her. "Yeah, not so distressed now, am I?" she taunted the fairy. She swooped down and grabbed Maleficent's staff away from her to keep her from shooting more magic. "Hey AJ, catch!" She tossed the staff to Applejack, who bucked it towards Rarity, who caught it with her magic and darted away from Maleficent, who started to chase after her.
Eris growled as her cohorts were being beaten. "You idiots! You're being bested by a bunch of ponies!"
"Not just by ponies, Eris," Twilight assured her, standing before the goddess. "You and your "friends" are being beaten by REAL friendship!" Eris snarled and lunged for Twilight, but the unicorn used her teleportation spell to move right before she could be snagged. She then reappeared on top of a nearby pedestal. "The friendship that helps beings who have seemingly nothing in common come together for unselfish purposes. The friendship that inspires the magic of Equestria. The friendship that you and your son know nothing about."
Eris screamed as she blasted black fire magic towards Twilight, burning the pedestal into ash. The ponies gasped in shock as it appeared Twilight was burned up along with it, but then noticed the unicorn reappear in between Applejack and Pinkie. "Maybe under your tutelage, I COULD have learned to control planets and all of that, but no amount of celestial magic could really ever compare to the magic of friendship!"
Once Twilight uttered those words, the jewels on the Elements of Harmony began to light up. The six ponies were slowly lifted into the air, the light of the Elements surrounding them. As they were levitated, Twilight's eyes glowed white as a rainbow-colored beam shot up from her horn and arched in the air, eventually hitting Eris.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The goddess screamed as the magic of the Elements began to overtake her. The League of Extraordinary Misfits couldn't do anything but watch as their leader was being defeated by the ponies.
Suddenly, a giant white magical aura began to surround the Elements and their bearers. Cadence, Shining, Luna and the other League members all ducked underneath various items to protect themselves just as the aura formed a giant explosion of magic, followed by a loud KABOOM!
Once the white magic had dissipated, the six ponies controlling the Elements safely sank back down to the ground. The beings hiding poked their heads out and gasped. Standing in the wake of the Elements' path, where Eris had once stood, there was a black obsidian statue in the shape of the goddess, its face a mask of anger and torment, with small tears streaming down its face.
The door to the grand hall then opened, revealing the wedding guests coming back into Equestria from Eris' chaos dimension, led by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, back in pony form. Last in was Spike, his tuxedo and hat a mess, looking like he had seen some serious shit. "That was one crazy place."
"SPIKE!" Twilight ran over to her number one assistant, throwing her forelegs around him in a hug.
"Twilight?" Spike moaned. "Is that really you? I missed you."
"I missed you too, little buddy," Twilight told him.
"I see things have turned out well once again," a familiar warm voice noted. Twilight gasped happily and turned around to see Celestia standing behind her, alive again. "I must say, it IS nice to be able to move again. Stone body suits are NOT very comfortable."
Twilight couldn't help herself, running over to Celestia and glomping her, tears of joy and repent streaming down her face. "Princess Celestia, I am so, so, so, so, so sorry."
Celestia smiled and nuzzled her student. "Twilight Sparkle, I have already forgiven you. I knew you would find your way back onto your path eventually."
"I'm glad YOU did, because I wasn't too sure for a while."
"We knew you'd come back to us, Twilie," Shining assured her, noogieing his little sister's mane.
"Yeah, no evil League can stand a chance against Twilight Sparkle," Rainbow agreed.
Twilight smiled at her friends surrounding her, then at her brother and Cadence embracing. "I don't know about you guys, but I think we need to start planning a REAL wedding."
Indeed, the royal wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the beautiful Princess of Love, and Shining Armor, the valiant captain of the royal guard, commenced. However, a few things happened before any wedding preparations could be made.
The statuefied Eris was moved to Canterlot Tower, which had once housed the Elements of Harmony, and was locked with a powerful spell that combined the magic of all three alicorn princesses. The statue of Discord was also taken out of the sculpture garden and locked with the same spell in a tower on the other side of the castle, so mother and son could never be released from their petrified prisons.
The remaining members of the League of Extraordinary Misfits were sent back to their original worlds in chains (and, in the case of the hyenas, muzzles), along with a spell that would make sure they could never step foot in Equestria again. Celestia sent with their captives each a note to the authorities of their worlds what the members did in Equestria, allowing the authorities to decide what the suitable punishment would be.
Twilight made a public apology to the ponies of Canterlot for her part in what the League had done to their city. The ponies were, of course, quick to forgive, especially seeing as Twilight personally never harmed them and had spent most of her time as despot leader of Equestria studying magic.
Cadence of course loved all the wedding preparations that the Ponyville mares had done for her doppelganger. She ate two platefuls of the delicious apple treats that Applejack and her family made, she gushed over Rarity's original gown design, she clapped for Fluttershy's bird chorus, and she happily played the games and danced the silly dances that Pinkie Pie had planned.
Before very long, the wedding that all of Canterlot had waited for commenced. Twilight took her rightful place beside her brother as his best mare, and Cadence's original bridesmaids stood by her side, with the Ponyville mares having gladly stepped down and given them their titles back.
Celestia beamed as she stood before the couple. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza..."
"Just Cadence is fine," Cadence politely corrected her aunt.
Celestia smirked. "Of Princess Cadence and Captain Shining Armor. After what has been a very interesting last several days, most of which I was encased in stone..." She gave a knowing smile to Twilight, who blushed in embarrassment. "...I am pleased to pronounce you stallion and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Shining wasted no time in kissing his new wife, who eagerly kissed him back. Twilight Velvet and Night Light cried with pride at their son's marriage. Celestia nodded to Rainbow Dash, who quickly flew into the air and sped outside, hitting the sonic barrier and creating a heart-shaped Sonic Rainboom as she did.
Yes, it was truly the greatest wedding ever.
"Well, what do you think?"
The scene then cut to something quite different from a magical land full of colorful talking ponies; an office building in Vancouver, Canada. In the office of the CEO of production for the show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," a young woman with dark brown hair pulled back in a bun and brown eyes behind thick glasses wearing a blue dress was sitting before the desk of the CEO who had her story in front of his face.
The woman continued before the CEO could say a word. "I mean, I know it's not as good as a story idea from M.A. Larson or Meghan McCartney, but could it work as an episode?"
The CEO put the story down, revealing himself to be a large being with a pony's head, a snakelike body and tail, the horns of a deer and a goat, the arms of a lion and an eagle, the legs of a dragon and a goat, and the wings of a bat and a bird. "Mmm-hmm. I'm going to level with you, Miss daBall. This story is just awful. Like, really not good. I mean, the climax was sloppily thrown together; some of the most powerful Disney villains being outclassed by a bunch of ponies is just nonsense. And Eris revealed to be Discord's mother? It sounds like you pulled that idea out of your ass."
"Well, yeah, but I wanted to show that she had a reason to want to come to Equestria in the first place," the author explained.
"Uh-huh. You wanna come up with a reason for a Greek goddess to end up in Equestria? Try coming up with an idea that sounds more thought out than something a third grader could write."
"But...what about the idea of the different villains from different movies coming together? That's kind of kickass, isn't it?"
"No, it's kind of fanfiction-ass, that's what it is. And how were you expecting to get Disney, DreamWorks, AND Universal to give you permission to use their characters in a TV show WITHOUT paying them a billion dollars each?"
The author opened her mouth to say something, but stopped herself. "I guess I didn't really think that far ahead."
"And that's your problem. You're not thinking ahead with this story. You just come up with a semi-decent idea for a story, throw a bunch of random crap at the wall, mash together whatever sticks to the wall AND whatever fell on the floor, and present it to a big time television executive hoping to be branded the next Rebecca Sugar. I'm sorry, miss; no, honestly, I'm NOT sorry, but I'm going to decline your story." He got up out of his seat, ripped the story in half, shoved the two pieces in the author's hands and pushed her out the door. "Goodbye. Be sure to take your complimentary cupcake on the way out of the building." He sat back down at his desk and rang a buzzer, paging his secretary. "Kay-Kay?"
"Yes, Mr. Cord?" his secretary asked from the other end.
"What's my next appointment today?"
"Well, E.L. James is scheduled to come over to discuss her idea for an erotic CheesePie episode, "Fifty Shades of Pink.""
The CEO grinned. "Perfect! Tell her to get started on the first draft right away."
