Princess Celestia Saves Equestria (And Pay Up!)

by ThePinkedWonder

First published

At long last, Princess Celestia stepped up to save Equestria. You may be surprised who got the last laugh.

It looked to be all over.

A powered-up Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek, and Cozy Glow invaded Canterlot Castle and put Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Discord, and the rest of their friends on the ropes. Nopony had the power to stand against the Legion of Doom.

That is until somepony close to Celestia fell after jumping into an attack meant for her. Then things went crazy. And went crazy again once secrets were revealed.


Takes place in part one of the season 9 finale. Enough will be explained to not require reading this story's predecessor to understand what's going on, and laugh.

Last, but definitely not last, special thanks to FlutterJackdash for editing this story.

Eight broke mares and Dragon

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Equestria was all but doomed.

Thanks to the magic-stealing capabilities of Grogar’s Bell, the super-powered evil team of Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek, and Cozy Glow had won.

In the throne room of Canterlot Castle, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Discord had been drained of their magic thanks to the power of the bell. With them were the rest of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony -- Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy -- as well as Spike, who were also defenseless against the Legion of Doom.

Or almost defenseless: Rarity still possessed her magic, and Spike could breathe fire. Unfortunately, it didn’t come anywhere close enough to turn the tide.

The wall by the room’s two thrones had been destroyed, exposing the room to the outside world, and was where the heroic group of ten stood in front of. The three villains were on the other side of the room, near its door. Cozy hovered in the air by flapping her wings.

Cozy Glow said, “Well, that was fun.”

Chrysalis agreed, “Very.”

“But we’re far too powerful for you.” Tirek lifted his head to Grogar’s Bell, a light-green bell that levitated in midair. “Thanks to the magic we stole with Grogar’s Bell, we are unstoppable!”

Twilight gritted her teeth and spread her wings out. Magic or no magic, she refused to submit to her adversaries. “It’s not over yet! We will find a way to defeat you!”

Chrysalis teased, “Yeah, right. We know an empty threat when we hear one!”

Cozy said, “Especially if we don’t do what Sombra did to Princess Cadance by getting you mad. I will give that doofus credit for still finding a way to destroy the Elements of Harmony after Princess Cadance kicked his flank all over her castle.”

Tirek explained, “So, unlike Sombra, we won’t do anything foolish, like telling you how ridiculous it was for you to marry two books three weeks ago!”

Failing to detect the sarcasm in Tirek’s words, Twilight relaxed her teeth and folded her wings. “Well, at least you guys can understand how I feel and not laugh at me. Unlike my own brother.”

Spike reminded, “Come on, Twilight, Shining Armor said he was sorry he laughed. Besides, if Pinkie told you she wanted to marry a cupcake, I bet you would laugh.”

“Uh…” Twilight looked away with an embarrassed smile.

Discord wished that he still had his chaotic magic to materialize a bull’s-eye to troll Twilight. He LOVES doing that. Alas, this time, the best he could do was troll her in his head, chuckling at the thought.

Tirek interrupted, “But enough talk. We need to finish this.”

Fluttershy turned to Princess Celestia with a fear-filled frown. “Princess Celestia, please tell us there is something else that we can do.”

With the others staring at her for answers, including Luna and Discord, Celestia looked to the floor. “I...am afraid I have no solutions, my little ponies. If Twilight still had her magic, I would tell her to escape, then Luna, Discord, and I would pull off a miracle and get the rest of you to safety, but she doesn’t.”

“Wow! Hearing you say that you lost is music to my ears!” Tirek boasted in an ecstatic voice. He longed to hear the words that he was victorious in his conquest. It was almost worth having to share the glory with two others. Almost.

Chrysalis teased, “But of course they can’t do anything if Twilight can’t! Celestia acts all high and mighty, but more often than not, she hides behind Twilight and her friends!”

“Yeah, so cowardly, and so lazy and foolish!” Cozy taunted.

Twilight growled, spread out her wings once again, and ordered, “Hey! Don’t you dare call Princess Celestia foolish or a coward!”

Tirek pointed a finger at Twilight. “Ha, and there’s more proof! If you were correct, Celestia would be defending herself, not you.”

Twilight again folded her wings and relaxed her scowl. She couldn’t bear her beloved former mentor being so disrespected. Yet by defending her, Twilight inadvertently proved her foes right. “But...still…”

The villains' words also pierced the heart of Princess Celestia, though she remained quiet and kept her head down. For the first time, she truly felt shame about often wanting Twilight and her friends to do everything when threats showed themselves. At the very least, Celestia could have been by Twilight’s and her friends’ sides during the times she wasn’t captured or otherwise defeated. The shame was made worse still because, deep down, she thought of Twilight Sparkle as her own daughter, and was another reason she trusted Twilight with the responsibilities she “asked” her to take. Unlike her first “daughter”, Twilight never betrayed her by fleeing to another world in a hissy fit, though they have since reconciled.

But now, she became fully aware that she didn’t make Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends face threats that could have killed them if things went wrong. She made her daughter and her friends risk their lives.

And if that wasn’t enough, Celestia didn’t defend herself against the villains’ insults; her little filly stuck up for her.

No more. It was time for the Ruler of Equestria to save her kingdom.

Celestia’s eyes formed a scowl. She lifted her head to glare at her enemies and she slowly spread out her wings. “Everypony, stand back. I will find a way to deal with these three myself.”

Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy looked to each other, then engaged in hearty laughter. Cozy did barrel rolls as she laughed.

After the three fiends’ laughing calmed, Chrysalis said, “Well, look who’s a big filly now! But since you’re so weak, we’ll fire a weak blast to finish you off.”

The evil team focused a fraction of their magic into three separate blasts that fused into one. The attack was fired at Celestia. It was definitely meant for her: the blast had the word “weak” in it.

Maybe, just maybe, Princess Celestia didn’t think this through.

“Princess Celestia, NO!” Twilight screamed.

Realizing she bit off more than she could chew, Celestia closed her eyes and lowered her head in defeat.

A scream filled Celestia’s ears and something bumped her in the chest, knocking her backward, but she remained on her hooves. It didn’t have the burning pain that a blast would have, or any pain, but simply the weight of something. Though she felt emotional pain from hearing who screamed.

Celestia’s eyes flew open and she gasped. What she saw tore her heart in half.

Right in front of her lay a lavender Alicorn. The Alicorn’s name: Princess Twilight Sparkle. A black singe was on her back. Twilight moaned in pain momentarily before her eyes closed and her form grew still.

“Twilight!” everypony shouted, save for the villains.

Celestia fell to her knees and picked up the motionless mare with her forelegs. “Twilight?! Twilight?! Say something, anything!”

Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow stared at Twilight, but stayed in place.

However, Spike sped to Twilight and begged, “Please, Twilight, talk to us!”

Twilight said nothing.

Celestia felt for a heartbeat and a flood of relief filled her when she felt it. Yet despite knowing she was not seriously hurt, Celestia held Twilight to her chest and tears poured from the elder Princess’s eyes. How could she have let this happen?

Princess Celestia had never felt the level of pure shame and guilt that she did in this moment. Because of her passiveness, Twilight was down, due to the now hard-wired instinct to save the day or, in this case, her former mentor.

Continuing to stare at Twilight, still cradled in her forelegs, Celestia wasn’t seeing an injured Twilight Sparkle. She was seeing her injured little filly. Her daughter.

That. Was. It.

There were three flanks that needed to be kicked. NOW. Banishing the trio to the moon would have been too good for them.

Celestia’s Cutie Mark of the sun ignited to red. She gritted her teeth, cracking three of them, but she was too enraged to feel the pain. The ferocious full power of Daybreaker, which she always kept suppressed, plus the wrath of a mother raged to the surface. Not only did her ability to use magic return from pure unyielding rage, but her power was multiplied by eleven. Then it was multiplied again by eleven.

Overflowing with power, Celestia gently laid the mare she thought of as a daughter on the floor, whispered, “I’ll get them for you, Twilight,” and stood to her hooves. Her eyes glared at the evil trio on the other side of the room as she cracked her knuckles.

But Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek, and Cozy Glow merely laughed.

“Oh, we’re soooo scared!” Cozy mocked.

Tirek said, “Maybe we should run before she begs Twilight to defeat us for her again!”

No words left Celestia’s mouth. Her horn glowed gold and unleashed a beam of magic, of the same color, twice the width of her body.

Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy all fired a beam of magic -- Chrysalis’s was green and Cozy’s and Tirek’s were red -- that fused into a larger, reddish, more powerful one and collided with Celestia’s attack.

Neither beam budged an inch.

Chrysalis admitted, “Not bad, Celestia! You have more power than I thought!”

Tirek said, “But you’ll give out before we will!”

“And when you do and we win, we’ll rule Equestria with an iron hoof and eat as many sweets as we want! Starting with that cake in your room!” Cozy threatened.

“Don’t you DARE threaten my husband!”

The wrath of a wife further raised Celestia’s power, and her beam grew even larger. It pushed the villains' attack back, and into the three themselves.

Or into two of them. Celestia aimed her beam at an angle to only hit Chrysalis and Tirek so it just passed by Cozy Glow, but the surprise forced her to fall to the floor. The two adult villains slammed into a wall near the room’s door and bounced off with a grunt.

In addition, the almighty blast shattered Grogar’s Bell -- said to have been impossible to do -- and the magic from it returned to their owners. In the process, Cozy’s horn vanished and her wings shrunk to their pre-Cozycorn size. Tirek also shriveled to his true elderly form.

Translation: Princess Celestia has reached overpowered status. On this day, the Princess of the Day is not useless. She is finally a Boss.

Celestia knew everypony would momentarily cheer and congratulate her for her victory, but she still had more to do. After she healed her cracked teeth with her magic, Celestia's eyes locked onto Cozy Glow.

With a frightened frown, Cozy felt her body pulled closer and closer to Celestia and try as she might, she couldn’t resist its force. Once close enough, she was laid on top of Celestia’s left foreleg. The Princess’s right foreleg raised in the air and hovered over Cozy’s Cutie Mark, which was of a rook.

The right foreleg came down, then was pulled up, and brought down again.

Yes. Lightly, yet firmly, Princess Celestia was spanking the evil filly.

“Now you were a bad little filly, Cozy Glow! Bad filly!”

“Ow, I’m sorry, Princess Celestia! Ow! I’ll be good! Ow!”

Five more seconds of the spanking, Celestia levitated Cozy back to where she stood before, who proceeded to rub her rear. Celestia’s horn glowed again, and a magical gold cage materialized around Cozy.

“Guards!” Celestia called.

Five guards, all wearing gold armor, ran into the room.

“Take Chrysalis and Tirek to Tartarus, but leave Cozy Glow here.”

The guards took Tirek and Chrysalis, who already lay near the door, out of the room. Chrysalis, semi-conscious, muttered inaudibly. However, Tirek wore a smile and pointed an outstretched hand towards the group as he was carried away. Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow, and Fluttershy gulped at the motion.

After Chrysalis and Tirek were out of the room, a low moan filled the room. Celestia and the others turned to its source.

It was Twilight Sparkle, who was shaking her head to regain her bearings.

Celestia’s lips formed a smile of pure joy. She ran and sat beside Twilight to embrace her in another gentle hug.

“Ow...my back...what happened?” Twilight asked.

Celestia released Twilight from the hug and answered, “Everything is all right, Twilight. I defeated Queen Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow.”

“Oh, so you--wait, what?!” Twilight’s eyes grew and pointed a hoof at Celestia. The pain from her injury became much less noticeable. “You mean, you did, Princess Celestia? By yourself?” Twilight looked at her friends.

Rarity’s, Rainbow’s, Applejack’s, Pinkie’s, and even Fluttershy’s faces all wore scowls.

Rainbow, in an angry voice, answered, “Yeah, she did. All thanks to you jumping into that blast to protect her!”

“Uh-oh.” Twilight realized the cost of her actions and “facehoofed”, cursing her hard-wired heroic nature.

“You get it now? Equestria might be saved, but we are all broke thanks to you!” Pinkie scolded.

Spike facepalmed. "Oh, yeah, I forgot. Way to go, Twilight."

Celestia asked, “Wait, what are you all talking about?”

Luna echoed, “I am rather curious myself.”

“So am I. Do tell us how you messed up, Princess Goody-goody!” Discord mischievously said.

Twilight grinned and rubbed the back of her head. “Oh, uh, well, we uh…”

Applejack interrupted, “Princess Celestia, I’ll tell you. When we went to Tartarus to talk to Tirek when Equestria was losin’ its magic, he dared the seven of us to take a bet and...he just won.”

“Okay, and what was the bet?” Celestia asked.

Fluttershy answered, “He bet us all the bits we have that you would save Equestria by yourself in the next year.”

“And you just did,” Pinkie pointed out.

Celestia’s eyes widened. In addition to six of her subjects, now a second daughter had betrayed her. “You WHAT?! How could you bet against me?!”

Luna groaned and facehoofed, remembering something important.

“Well...the history was in our favor,” Twilight admitted with a nervous smile. How well she took care of her teeth was clear with how white the teeth were as she smiled.

A circular portal opened up in a wall of the room, and out jumped a blue ram. He had a light grayish-bluish gray mane, and two large horns that each curled backward.

“Grogar,” Luna said with a scowl.

The ram Luna referred to as “Grogar” turned to face her. The others’ eyes fixated to the unexpected stare down.

The serious frown on Grogar softened into a smile. “I knew they would fail. Pay up.”

“Fine.” Luna’s horn glowed blue. A large pile of gold bits, as well as a video game-type controller, rained down in front of Grogar in a massive pile.

“Thank you, and I will come back for the rest of the bits later.” Grogar’s hide shook five times, as if it were his version of an “I told you so!” dance.

Compared to that, Twilight Sparkle has majestic dance moves. At least she’s adorkable when she dances. Not so much with Grogar.

After Grogar had finished his “dance”, his horn glowed yellow to levitate the bits and game controller in his magic. He then leaped through the still-open portal, and it sealed shut behind him.

Luna sighed and looked at Discord. “It’s too bad you weren’t somehow behind Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy finding Grogar’s Bell, Discord, or I wouldn’t be broke now.”

Discord explained, “Why would I do that? If I brought those three together by pretending to be Grogar in a good-hearted but misguided attempt to boost Twilight’s confidence, you and Princess Sunbutt would have chewed me out!”

Pinkie commented, “Yeah, that would be soooo silly!”

“I agree, Pinkie. But enough about that: Princess Luna, what just happened?” Twilight asked.

Luna answered, “Oh, right, guess I should explain. Long ago, Grogar bet me that Celestia would save Equestria by herself someday, and I accepted.”

“What?! You too?!” Celestia shouted.

“Yeaaaaah,” Luna said sheepishly and smiled, unintentionally giving Twilight a run for her bits in adorkableness. Or would have if not for Twilight currently being broke.

Understanding that Luna knew her too well to not know it was a safe bet to accept, Celestia instead glared at Twilight. “But, Twilight, of all ponies, I thought you would always have faith in me! You are like my daughter, and you bet against me?!”

Twilight frowned, much like a filly that was caught stealing cookies would, or a book. “I’m so sorry, Princess Celestia. It’s just--”

“It’s just awful, that’s what it is! But do you want to know what’s even worse, Twilight Sparkle?”

“What is it?” Twilight meekly asked.

Celestia took a deep breath. “Not only did you and your friends show how little trust you have in me, but you made me lose a bet too! Now I’m broke!”

“I know, and I’m--wait, what?” Twilight’s shame-filled frown changed into a puzzled one. “You lost a bet too?”

“Yes. Not long ago, somepony, or someone, wagered me all of my bits that you would bet against me one day. Now we really have to reform Cozy Glow because Discord already bet that she couldn’t be reformed. I literally can’t afford to lose another one!”

Cozy laughed from inside her cage and remarked, “You know, watching this is SO much better than world domination.”

Celestia glared at Cozy. “Don’t make me spank you again, Cozy Glow!”

“But who did you lose the bet to?” Rainbow asked.

Celestia looked at Rainbow. “I lost to…”


In an alternate world of Equestria, where most Equestrian ponies have a counterpart in life-forms known as “humans” exist...

In the courtyard of a high school, by a portal to Equestria at the base of a pedestal of a long-destroyed statue, stood an amber-skinned teenage girl. Or at least she looked like a “teenage” girl. She wore a deep-rose skirt, black jacket, and had red and yellow striped hair.

The portal shook and a flood of bits surged through it, burying the girl. The bits' total worth was a million. There would be a lot more bits coming later; this was just the first wave.

The now-rich girl popped her head out of the sea of gold with a grin. Excitement built inside her over the game room she would soon have, thanks to the bits she won.