Aunt Flutterbitch

Aunt Flutterbitch

Cheerilee, the school teacher in Ponyville, gave her class an assignment: tell a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day foals came back to school and one by one began to tell their stories.

Little Hoof said, "My father was a farmer near Hoofington before we moved to Ponyville and we had a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the coach when we hit a bump in the road and the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked Cheerilee.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Royal Blue. Tell us your story."

"MY family are farmers too. But we raised hens to sell them on the market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your Scoot... chickens before they're hatched."

"That's a fine story Royal Blue," said Cheerilee. " Sweetie Belle, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, my sister Rarity told me this story about aunt Fluttershy . It was when Discord was released. After the first failed attempt to defeat Discord, aunt Fluttershy didn’t go straight back home. She was possessed by Discord's chaotic power of violence and she wanted to find and hurt a specific Griffon that had wronged her in the past. But it was long way to Griffon Kingdom and she is bad long distance flyer, so she bought some ale for the trip-”

“It makes long flight less exhausting,” Interfered Scootaloo.

“Unfortunately just outside Ponyville she was caught by a chaos chocolate storm and had to crash land in Diamond Dogs territory. She drank the ale, on the way down, so it wouldn't break and then she crash landed right in the middle of one hundred chaos frenzied Diamond Dogs troops. She Stared seventy of them to death, then she killed twenty more with the tail whip and then killed the last ten with her bare hooves. Afterwards she was so tired she returned home where she was caught by Apple Bloom's sister Applejack and cured of chaos possession by aunt Twilight's magic."

"Merciful Celestia," said Cheerilee, "What kind of moral did your sister tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't piss off aunt Fluttershy when she's been drinking."

The classes continues

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“Let’s continue.” Said Cheerilee to her class. ”Apple Bloom please do tell us your story.”

“Yes Ms Cheerilee. But my story has not one moral but three and it was aunt Fluttershy who told me this story.”

Ms Cheerilee gulped but didn’t stop the yellow filly from telling the story.

“Aunt Fluttershy said that some time ago she had a nightingale who was very talented in singing. His songs were so beautiful that everywhere he went ponies stopped and listened to his performance. The bird was very proud of its voice and never refused a concert, but finally the year ended and it was time for birds to fly south. Aunt Fluttershy helped all her bird pets prepare for the long and dangerous trip, but the nightingale refused to fly away from his audience. He wanted to sing all winter. He made a nest near Everfree Forest and each day he made a concert. Finally the winter came and after a hard blizzard the bird almost froze to death. Fortunately for him a cow from our farm had some business with aunt Fluttershy and saw the frozen nightingale on her way to the cottage. She felt sorry for the bird and to help him she made shit, placed the bird in it and run to Aunt Fluttershy for help. In the warm shit the bird unfroze and out of happiness started to sing. What the nightingale didn’t know was that a hungry Timberwolf was near and heard his singing. He took the bird out of shit, washed him in nearby brook and eat him.”

Ms Cheerilee looked at Apple Bloom with widely opened eyes. “ And the morals?”

“Aunt Fluttershy said there are three Ms Cheerilee.

First one says that not everypony who puts you in shit wants your harm.

Second one says that not everypony who pulls you out of it is your friend.

And the third one says that if you in shit do not tweet.”