A series of brutal murders began with ties to an unnatural being able to kill with startling ease. Ponies have gotten glempses of them, different monsters. Eris comes up with a plan, ask something with in-depth knowledge of the creatures, a human.
Soon after Starlight's defeat, many brutal and unsightly murders appears throughout Equestria with some seemingly being eaten. Many believed they were predators from the Everfree, but that theory went out the window after many caught glempses of the monsters responsible and described it to the guards.
Most believed it was Eris who summoned them, but her horror was easy to distinguish; however many didn't believe her. She claimed that her type of chaos was in good fun, no casualties would ever happen if she did it, but she offered a solution, one that could recognize the monsters, and put them down.
On Earth, a teen with a fascination with horror and the legends behind him has archived and studied the creatures using multiple sources on the internet and discussions he could find. He knew almost all of the legends and monsters by heart until he came across one he never knew of. A Dragonequus, a chimera like creature with the ability to bind reality at will. He drew a rough sketch of it and wrote down it's tendencies, appearance, and possible weaknesses. His mind finally recognized the creature as Discord and chuckled, he completely forgot the show that he came to enjoy, but he was summoned to Equestria, the world he always wanted to visit. He never knew that when he got there he was begged to help them.
The fight to end the murders began because now they had a Hunter to help them.
Inspiration from Hunt: Showdown and various legends and mythos.
This will revolve around horror, but that's up to you guys. I may also absolutely fail at it.
Write your own stories based in this universe in the group here.
Guards were on the scene with cameras and note pads with an eye witness who had managed to escape the monster. She was panicking after getting a clear image of her recently butchered daughter. She was hysterical as tears rolled down her face and she tried to avoid the lifeless eyes of the six-year-old.
The unfortunate pegasus filly was currently dangling from a fire escape, torn in half, and her small and large intestines covering a portion of what was left of her torso. Parts of the head and face had bite marks and chunks of flesh and muscle taken out. The lower half was found on the ground with the lower half of the legs missing. The face of the filly had her jaw pealed down to her chest and the esophagus following with it. A part of the wings was snapped off or hanging by a small portion of the skin. No one would've recognized her if her mother didn't run through the city at night, screaming at the top of her lungs about a monster.
The mother was trying to calm down after crying from seeing her daughter in such a state. The guards were asking her questions to understand the full story. "Why weren't you with your daughter?" A guard asked, her white coat and two-tone blue mane was more natural than most guards, who had to have their armor enchanted to look like her to prevent criminals from telling who's who if they had a bad encounter with one.
The mare breathed in, her shaky breathing making it had to take in much air. "I was with her before that 'thing' unlocked our door and tried to kill us. I was able to hit it with some of the food I was cooking to distract it before we made our way down the fire escape. It caught up to us quickly and it knocked me into the other building, braking my wing. Getting up there would mean we would both die. She evaded it easily so I ran to get help. When I got back, she was already dead hanging from t-there." Her voice wavered at the end, the horrible memory of that night still burned into her mind. She felt sick just being this close to the corpse of her daughter.
"Why didn't you fly?" A random guard asked, confused why she didn't just fly away from the danger.
"Unfortunately, unlike us Guards, where it's required to know how to maintain flight even if scared, most pegasi can't due to it not being an obligation before leaving flight school." The guard flipped to the next page before preparing to write again. "Can you tell me what it looks like." The mare hesitantly nodded before gulping down her fear.
"It was tall... Really tall with almost no muscle or fur. It had extremely pale gray skin with long fingers ending in claws. Its eyes looked like it sunk back into there skull and they're teeth were extremely long and sharp. I didn't know what it was, so I ran for help." The guard nodded at the description, not needing a sketch of the creature since this wasn't the first reported kill.
The guard conducting the investigation sighed while closing her notebook and headed for a chariot that had a few pegasi guards hooked up to it in preparation for flight. "This is useful information. The Canterlot Council will add this to the evidence of the creature. We'll take care of it as soon as we can." She boarded the chariot as local guards took the body to the morgue to prepare the funeral. She reviewed the evidence and notes as the tried to relax, but failed from the overwhelming sense of sadness at another life lost. They needed a solution and fast or there will be even more bodies to add to the ever-growing casualty list because of this beast.
All she could do was wait for a solution to eventually appear or something strong enough to kill it. There wasn't much hope after a few of the victims seemed to be dragons and an Ursa Major.
"We're so fucked." She whispered as she closed her eyes as the body of the young girl flashed through her mind as an overwhelming sense of uselessness hit her. She didn't know what to do and they weren't any closer to figuring out who was responsible than when they started a few months ago.
They just had to hope that they would have a survivor to help them.
Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence sighed at the notes and pictures that the Council was reviewing after the investigation. It was just as brutal as the last and on the same day, it normally does too. The Canterlot Council, formally the Canterlot Court, tried to make sense of the killings, but motives were thrown out the window after it seemed to be described as a wild animal.
"Why are we reviewing this useless information again! It's been three months since we began this investigation and we're nowhere close from where we began! We all know Eris and that insufferable father of hers is responsible!" A fancy-looking stallion yelled disgruntled by this recent call. He didn't look interested in the least about what happened and wanted a quick fix to the problem.
"No, we can't just do that. Not only would we be doing it for no reason, but there is also no proof that supports that claim. I know we all want an end to these murders, but we can't just pin the blame on one person without anything to back it up. Let's just review it one more time just in case we forgot something." This seemed to anger the stallion and a few other aristocrats who thought they had better things to do.
"WE'VE BEEN REVIEWING THE EVIDENCE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!!!" One yelled before an upbeat and positive voice chimed into the conversation.
"How about I offer a solution?" The female voice asked as a female Dragonequus appeared in the middle of the room with comfortable clothes that the nobles wouldn't dare be caught in anywhere; not even there house.
"What solution could you possibly offer?" The same pony said without containing his malice towards the teenage Dragonequus. His glare bore into her, but she ignored it with a friendly smile.
"Easy, we hire a professional." Shouts of protest and insults were thrown her way as she waited for the line she wanted to hear.
The line came closer to the end than she liked, but she wanted to build up the courage to say what was on her mind. Despite the confidence she showed, she was scared for her life since a noble has tried to assassinate her. "Who would we hire?! No one anywhere in the world knows what it is!" She chuckled causing confusion to spread throughout the room; even the princesses were confused.
"Exactly, no one on this world knows what it is, but that doesn't mean beings from other worlds don't." More confused glances were shot in her direction. "I guess I should explain, well, chaos magic brings things from other dimensions to this world when we want it; however, it's called chaos magic because, unless it's inanimate, it will call someone who needs it even if it's useless. The same for the caster because it will summon what is needed not wanted. We just need someone who can help us in this time of need." They were shocked that she actually proposed an actual plan instead of a joke like previous occasions. She even explained it to those who didn't understand it... Which was everyone?
A long silence followed her proposal as murmurs could be heard throughout the room. It continued until one finally whispered I'm the ears of the princesses of their decision. "The Council has decided! Your plan shall be put into action, effective immediately!" Celestia's booming voice held authority as a look of professionalism adorned expression before softening into a motherly look that held happiness. "I'm so proud of you." She said to her daughter.
They weren't related by blood, but Celestia raised her since Eris was an infant. Many mistook her for the daughter of Discord because of their playful personality, but they were just student and mentor like the relationship between Celestia and her student.
"Okay... Let's begin." Eris closed her eyes and requesting a professional for her chaos magic to follow as it went throughout the space between dimensions to find them. They did, but it wasn't what they expected.
I sat at my computer desk with a black leather back book open in front of me with a rough sketch of the latest creature I archived in the book: A skinwalker. I had a description of it, it's origins, what culture it comes from, it's habits, and how to kill it. It wasn't the information I needed to know because they were all stories, but I actually wanted to publish this book so others can use it for story ideas. That and I had a had monsters to use for my stories.
I soon came up to a weird creature I never heard of before considering I've been scouring the internet for information. Actually, what the hell was a Dragonequus? I never heard of it before and that's saying something.
I shook my head and began to sketch the figure before conducting an online investigation about the creature before I found a few sources about it. I recorded everything I could find on it and used the oldest and most popular opinion on different sights. When I figured out what culture it's from, I facepalmed. I completely forgot that a Dragonequus is the species name of the character Discord from My Little Pony. I finished the report and closed the book before stretching to work out the stiffness. I woke up early to finish the insert about the skinwalker and finished Dragonequus within my normal schedule. I remember walking to the bus, my earbuds playing music from orchestral groups I've listened to in the past.
I got caught up that I didn't even see the car speeding towards me at high speeds, but I finally noticed it when I was hit by it. What happened next was something I couldn't explain, not in a million years as I felt fine and wasn't hurting. That was until he landed head first on a marble floor.
"Son of a bitch," I whispered while rubbing my aching head. This wasn't the worst head injury, but it was about to top the longest lingering at this point.
"That actually worked... I'm gonna be completely honest, I didn't expect it to work because of the specifics I asked for." A young female voice said as I looked up to it with rising fear, but when I heard that this was planned, you can understand that I was a little pissed.
"So you caused a car to hit me!" I yelled in anger while glaring at the woman... Or Dragonequus in this case. "I... Bu... Ho... Wha..." Perfect grammar, ten out of ten.
"uhh... Is he okay?" A male asked while my brain went into overdrive to figure this shit out. Am I going into shock?
"I think I should have done this in a more secluded area and gradually introduce him to Equestria." The female voice said before turning to me with a sheepish smile. "Sorry about that."
What could I say at this point? There wasn't much after my sudden arrival here was more than disorienting. Comprehending what was going on was simple, but the fact that I'm actually here was amazing and I actually lost my ability to speak, it's not hard, but this time it wasn't because of my timidity.
"I... It's fine." I said to the female Dragonequus as my aw slowly subsided. I was looking at the female version of Discord or what some would say his daughter. "Actually, what you did save my life. If you didn't, I would most likely be dead." The feeling of that small instance of pain before it faded cam to mind as I held the side I was hit. "I really can't be complaining." A bit of fear came over me before I shook my head to clear the thoughts.
"Oh... Your welcome, I guess. It was unintentional, but I'm glad I could help; however, I'm gonna have to ask for a favor. Think of it as paying me back for the save." Made sense after saving me. I would've offered her a favor for anything for actually saving my life. This is the first time ever that I've been saving so close to death, but it isn't the first time I almost got hit by a car.
"Sure, I'll do this for free. I'm always happy to help unless it's something completely out of my ability." She smiled and nodded to a female guard that had a mane with two shades of blue.
"We need help identifying this... Creature. It has been the cause of the recent murders happening around Equestria." I nodded while taking out my book of creatures from the culture around the world.
When she placed it in front of me, my eyes widened and I frantically flipped through the book. "No fucking way." I continued to flip through the book until I came across a picture of the creature and slammed it on the table. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are dealing with a Wendigo." Gasps of horror and shouts of disagreement echoed through the room with one shouting insults like 'hairless monkey' or 'useless commoner'. "Please, settle down!" No such thing happened as I attempted to do it again, but the pony throwing insults continued. "It's about to get violent if you don't shut the fuck up." He was silent for a moment before bursting out laughing.
"A monkey like you could ever lay a hand on me. If you haven't noticed, you are the smallest and the weakest looking in the room." I looked around and, sure enough, I was the shortest with the shortest of them being two feet taller than me.
"Okay, then I'll leave and more ponies can get murdered due to your negligence and narrow-minded thinking. Alternatively, I could withhold info from you and you'll be without means of protection and I'll bet you'll listen when your pleading for your life while in the claws of the Wendigo. I won't doom a nation when it's your word working against two years of study." He stayed quiet while grinding his teeth out of anger so I could continue while I continued my lecture. "Wendigos are hunters in almost every sense of the word. They appear in multitudes of folklore are legends. They are associated with greed, insanity, and hunger; most notably, cannibalism. Anyone can become one of exposed to them too long, but since they have an insatiable hunger, that won't happen. They can appear when someone is overcome with greed. They are native to the northern United States and, what I assume, everywhere in Canada." I look around and see Celestia nodding at the info.
"Okay, we now know what they are and what climates they live in, but how do we kill them?" She asked with confusion as I gave a small chuckle as I gave off a determined glare.
"Silver weapons. Anything silver that can do major damage will work." I say before I look at the guards and saw that they only have swords and spears. "But from what I can see, you may have a better chance of killing a hummingbird with a spear while it's flying." This got the guards and nobles to shout more insults at me as Celestia tried to get them to calm down.
One actually came down to yell at me directly; yelling in my face. She just kept insulting me as I stood there with a blank face and she wasn't even using normal curse words. She was using child-friendly curse words which the court seemed to smile at while the immortals winced.
Eventually, I had enough as I punched her as hard as I could in the jaw. She stumbled back and stared at me in shock and anger as the guards tried to restrain me. Keyword: tried. I grinned widely as I walk up to them until I continue to feel the iron on my neck.
"What? Scared?" I said as they backed away, but I moved forwards. "Your threatening my life then go ahead and stab me." They looked unsure. "Oh right, the next thing that'll happen is I shit myself while I die. Okay okay." I grabbed the spear and pointed it at my forehead. "Go ahead, stab me." She tried to pull away, but I had a vice grip. "Go ahead, do it!" I yelled as she struggled more. "Go ahead and fucking kill me!" She became frantic while the other collapsed into tears. "Kill me damn it, fucking kill me!" She tried to pull away and I punched her in the face. "If your not ready to kill, your not ready to be a guard. And if you can't kill me, then stop wasting my time." I walk towards the scared the mare. I grabbed a letter opener and put it in her hand.
"Why are you..." She didn't get to finish as I put the edge to my throat.
"Do you have what it takes to kill?" I asked before she shook her head. "Are you ready to die?" She shook her head again. "SPEAK!" I shouted.
"N-no s-s-sir." She whimpered as I pulled away.
"Then you won't question me again, got it?" She nodded and got as far as she could from me. "As I was saying, the Wendigoes has a long reach that would make spear users only able to fight once." I turned to Eris who looked at me fearfully. "I need a gun," I said as she snapped her fingers without hesitation. What appears above me was a Mosin Nagant. "This gun has a massive range of almost a thousand meters; eight hundred at most." Their eyes widened at the weapon in my hand. "And this is an outdated gun too. There have been reports of snipers killing people from almost a mile away." The revaluation that this gun was outdated scared them. The gun disappeared as I internally wept.
"I can make it permanent, but it'll have to be something small." I sighed and told her about the semi-automatic ol' reliable pistol called the Colt 1911 and it appeared.
I dropped the mag and popped the chamber before dry firing it. "This is the Colt 1911 made almost one hundred years ago," I said as they stairs at it in shock. "Despite its size, it is still used by various Task Forces around the world above most newly made pistols."
"What type of battery does it use?" A noble asked before I stared at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I asked before he scoffed and waved a hand. I was tempted to load the gun and fire.
"What type of battery does it use? There's no way a weapon like that can fire effectively without a battery to move the parts." I began to chuckle and that lead to a laugh as I actually fell to my knees because it was hard to stand. "What?" He asks annoyed.
"Oh my god, you think this needs a ba... Hehehe... A battery?!" I laughed more as he stared at me in anger.
"Do you know who I am!?! I'm..." He stopped when I held up a hand. This fucker was just about to pull the social status card on me and he was about to find out the hard way that I didn't care.
I loaded the gun and shot him in the shoulder before he screamed in pain as he clutched his shoulder. The bang from the gun stunned a few of the council as they held their ears from the noise.
"Aww... Feeling pain already... Man, and here I thought you were a tough guy, but your not." I said before I aimed at him again causing him to try to run off using someone else's as a shield. My hand was covered by a golden glow as the gun was yanked from my hand.
"I will not have such a psychopath in my nation to have such a dangerous weapon!" Celestia yelled in fury as I blankly stared at her.
"That's where your wrong Celestia," I said as she was shocked that I knew her name. "A psychopath is more manipulative and charismatic while a sociopath is more prone to erratic behavior and has a total lack of empathy and is, in the basic sense of character, isn't narcissistic. Actually, sociopaths are more inclined to be assassins due to their logical thinking and total lack of being able to get closer to someone." Celestia shook as I continued. "In short, a sociopath won't care, because who's gonna miss them when they die." She shook more as she let her head fall to the table and silently wept while I took the gun back. "This is why you should keep your distance from me," I said as the remaining immortals looked at me with anger hate or sadness. "You'll only get hurt." The gun was jammed, so I pulled the action back and ejecting the jammed spent round. I walked past the guards, the mare on the floor, and walked down the hall as I pulled my hood up and hid the gun.
"Might as well do what I was summoned for," I said to myself before leaving the castle a giant grin on my face.
Damn it, I acted before thinking. I almost killed two people, traumatized two guards, and shot someone. I SHOT SOMEONE!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!!! Damn it, oh well what's done is done, it'll be easier for them if I die. Not much of an inconvenience to me because I'll be dead, but for them having sent a teen to their death. I may have lost the will to live, but I'd rather not have anyone miss me if it happens; it's better for me to just be forgotten instead of mourned.
"Wait, WHY DID I GIVE UP THE MOSIN!!!" I yelled as I looked at the M1911 in my hand before I walked back to the room I came from, my head hung low, and an apology at the tip of my tongue. It may have been me trying to have no attachments so no one would care if I died, but it would help if I had the support of the nation that I'm hunting a fucking Windigo in.
I didn't have to swallow my pride because there wasn't much to swallow, but I don't care and I definitely don't care that I shot that guy. There was so much for me to do in this dreamland turned hellscape, but I do have a job to do that can't wait. If I can observe the current victims, then I could find a link between them and hopefully set up some kind of trap. If these ponies think it'll be like Scooby-Doo then they will be sorely mistaken. Capturing it is not an option, I'm just gonna fuckin kill it.
The room, to my knowledge, was not too far from me, but every hall just looked exactly the same. I walked into the room that I was in and I was right! Ha, take that confusing castle layout! I win!
Wow, It was only the princesses and Eris now, I was gon for like five minutes or something but almost a hundred ponies were just gone. That's pretty fucking terrifying. Those who were in the room weren't looking at me and didn't even hear me enter.
"So," I began causing them to turn around, startled, "what did I miss?" Luna and Cadence backed away from me as Celestia was hesitating to answer while Eris just glared at me, probably because I used her power to almost kill someone. "I'm just wanna apologize that I made you cry." Celestia looked surprised before looking expectingly at me. "What?"
"You're not gonna apologize for injuring that stallion?" Celestia asked as before I crossed my arms with a defiant expression.
"No, fuck that guy. I'm gonna be throwing my self in a situation that I might die in and all he cares about is that he know's I'm beneath him. So yeah, fuck him." I sighed before turning to Eris with a look that just screamed that I didn't want to do what I was gonna do. "I need another weapon." She crossed her arms and looked away defiantly much like I expected.
"Why? So you can kill a pony?" She said as if she tried to read my mind before I glared at her.
"So I won't be in range to be killed by the fucking monster, and unless I want to be almost face to face with the fucking Windigo, I need a gun with a longer range." I pocket holstered the M1911 before I walked towards Eris before stopping in front of her. "I'll be another victim of them if I don't have a longer-ranged gun."
"Only on one condition." She held up a finger as she glared at me with determination... there's a lot of glaring going on.
"Sure, name it." I stopped glaring at her to stop the monotony of the glares, but I only have a blank stare being directed at her.
"You can't hurt any ponies with it." I sighed and shook my head.
"No, I can't guarantee that. There is something about the Windigos that you don't know." I stared at her blankly again, her glare softening in the process. "Windigos can possess people." That caused their eyes to widen before she slumped her shoulders in defeat.
"Fine, but try your best to not kill anypony... who isn't possessed." I nodded, agreeing to her condition. I may be a sociopath, but I keep my word. "Now, it'll be just like last time, imagine what you want to appear and my magic will make it appear." I did as told and the gun I wanted appeared in front of me with a bright flash of light. The gun was a Winchester model 1894 chambered in .357 Magnum. "What's that?"
"This is a Winchester model 1894 chambered in .357 Magnum, silver bullets to make sure it penetrates the Windigo's skin. The design is older than the Mosen Nagant, but the round it's chambered in will fuck up anyone who is unlucky enough to get shot by them. I want to make sure that monster doesn't get back up." I cocked the lever forward and caught the bullet from the air. I tossed the bullet to them for them to examine before pulling the lever back to its default state. "Believe it or not, but the operating system underneath the side plating is simplistic in its design and pretty easy to replicate. Considering the era you seem to be in, with a war or two, you could have this kind of weapon." Luna tossed the bullet back to me and I loaded the bullet back in the tubbed magazine.
"That is a terrifying thought, your weapons of war are powerful and more advanced than we ever could've anticipated. I hope you will use your weapons only against this Windigo." Luna said as I pulled the lever back and made sure my finger was off the trigger. "We have made arrangments for you... I'm sorry, we have not gotten your name."
"That is currently not important. If I live, then you will get my name, but if you want to call me something, call me Occisor or child, whichever you prefer." I held my new Winchester in front of my chest as they looked at one another before looking back at me.
"The first location you will go to Manehattan, where the latest murder has appeared," Cadence said, stepping forwards to stand out amongst her peers.
"How long ago did the slaughter take place?" My body relaxed as I checked my new gun for any faults... there weren't any, I guess just a nervous habit that I developed over the years.
"Last night, so this Windigo must still be near the city or within it." I nodded and hefted the old rifle onto my shoulder; it wasn't heavy, but it was off-balanced with the gun loaded.
"Alright, I have two things to say then." I stood straight and faced towards Celestia, my blank look making it almost impossible for her to read me. "Tell any guards in the area to create a barricade around the city with clouds and walls. Pegasi will be on the clouds providing overwatch while the ground forces prevent anyone or anything from leaving the city. I want routine patrols of at least eight to ten guards walking the streets. A curfew will be enacted and all those outside will be arrested for a week as punishment. During the night, patrols will double in size and carry a whistle to alert anyone of their position if they find the Windigo. They will be given notice that they are facing what is essentially an apex predator, I will carry an investigation during this time and will have the previous victim following me."
"The previous victim is dead. The fillies mother is still alive though," Luna said as a thought entered my mind as I looked over to Luna with the smallest hint of an idea.
"You guys are ponies herbivores and, by nature, pray; does that mean you have an instinct for when you're being watched?" I could see it click in Luna's mind as she smiled.
"So you believe that this Windigo is stalking this mare and waiting for the best time to strike?" I nodded and the others seem to understand what I was insinuating with them gaining looks of disgust.
"So your planning to..." Celestia began as I gained a devious smile that unnerved them.
"Yes, I plan to use the mare as bait while I investigate." This caused them to shudder before I turned to Eris, my face turning back to its original blank look. "How will I be able to get more ammo if I run out."
Eris's mouth opened for a second before closing as she began to think about my question. In a couple of seconds, her ears flatted to the side of her head, her eyes widened in horror, and she began to shake a little. "I... I will have to give you more." Eris began to shake as it finally dawned on me what that meant. "I will have to go with you." This... was an unexpected turn of events, but not one that I can't workaround.
"Okay... now I have to fit you into the plan... I will need a stockpile of ammunition when we get there that way, you can stay out of the action." Eris actually took offense to my plan and glared at me once again as if I should be ashamed for what I said.
"Pardon my language mom, but that plan is complete bull shit!" I quirked a brow as I stared at her, somewhat intrigued by her language and what she was intending to do. "I will help you in one way or another by-" I have heard enough of this as I walked up to her and, despite my smaller size, glared at her with disapproval.
"By what? Getting yourself killed by going face to face against a creature that has killed more humans than ponies despite our knowledge and superior weapons compared to any other race on this planet. The reason I'm giving you this simple task is to keep you safe because you're useful while I'm expendable." Eris flinched back after hearing my harsh, disapproving tone, and that word as if it hurt her just to hear it. "I may be young, but I'm fully prepared to die since I'm of no use to this country. There are seven billion more humans to pull from, some more prepared and some less than prepared, but you can summon more humans after I die; because if you want my professional opinion about my status in this fucking world, I'm less than the poorest of the poor and the worms in the dirt." Eris stepped back as I walked closer, my glare ever-present during this ordeal. "You should not care if I die, you should not care if I'm hurt, I was brought here to die... But I'll live as much as I can on the edge of death until I finally fall."
I continued to stare at Eris, no longer paying attention to the other three princesses. I didn't care that I was seen as a monster or someone who couldn't be trusted with my own life, I was going to make my point that I should be wept for by no one or care for by none.
"I will make a guild for this profession. So that you will not have to summon anymore after I die." My voice was much less harsh than it was before, gentle almost sad as I turned away from them. I didn't want to face them after I fucked up once again.
"Okay... We will help you, child, but what will you call this guild?" It was Luna who spoke, one of my favorite ponies actually asked me what I wanted to name something that she will help make, a guild that will hopefully last for generations.
"Monstra Monstrum. A guild where monsters will be made to kill other monsters." I began to walk to the door before stopping and turning towards Eris. "Are you coming?" Eris nodded slowly and began to follow me closely and directed me through the castle until we reached the main street.
On the way there, I found a clothing shop that had apparel that would allow me to move much easier considering my current predicament. It was a normal flannel shirt with blue jeans and a red bandanna. Apparently, all my money was converted into Bits after I got here so I bought the outfit and a nice black stetson that sat upon my head nicely. I looked like a monster hunter in the late 1700s or early 1800s, so it looked pretty nice. I even bought some cloth to make a nice little sling for my rifle. It wasn't much, but I would stand out in a crowd despite my size.
"Good choice sir, you look rather dashing for a kid." The mare at the counter said as I wore the outfit out of the shop. I didn't bother saying anything and just nodded as a form of thanks. "Not much of a talker, are you? Well, I can tell your new to Canterlot, so on behalf of me and all the nice ponies in the city, welcome." She performed a nice little bow which I returned, all without talking of course. I didn't want to draw attention to myself due to what would be seen as an oddly deep voice for what's supposed to be my age after factoring my height.
After all that, I went into a book store to find a nice book to read for the train ride but found none that interested me. I did find a nice hardback purple book that was completely blank. I decided that It would be a good idea to document what was happening to the smallest detail. However, Eris and I didn't talk much after leaving the castle except for Eris talking to a few random ponies that greeted her as we walked through town, luckily, none of the ponies around us questioned the rifle on my back or the pistol in my pocket. I guess they see it as a weird lamp or something, I don't really care. The most important thing is that the gun works.
We did get on the train with minimal hassle with a few words said between the two of us and a conductor that was asking for tickets. All we had to say was, "Royal Business", and then he passed by us with seeing any ticket. The train system is pretty fuckin broken if that's all you have to say to get on the train for free. Then again, this is Equestria, so ponies actually have integrity unlike humans... well, most humans.
That brings me up to now where I'm currently writing all this within the same purple book. I don't have any reason to exaggerate considering that this would be used if I'm ever convicted of any pony deaths while I'm working with the local guards along with any eyewitnesses. Breaking the law will not benefit me now, only hinder my progress in finding this Windigo. However, if Luna is doing what she said, The Monstra Monstrum will create many fine hunters to take my place after I'm long dead. I'm gonna leave at least ten pages blank for the princesses to write in this for their point of view after I'm back with the Windigo's head.
For some reason, Occisor wanted me to write my side of this event. Nothing much happened and he said to only say something about this and not to mention what he has written after I'm done with this... or well where he left off at after his entry. There isn't much to say except a small conversation where we had our doubts about his name and the name of his guild and if this was even a good idea.
"Aunties, do you believe that this was still the right course of action? He could kill anypony for speaking to him in the same way that stallion did, but we won't be able to hold him back next time." Cadence said, her voice filled with worry and a little fear, but I couldn't help in share in her concern. This was a child we were sent after an extremely dangerous beast.
"I fear as well sister; after all have you heard his name and the name of his guild? Both speak volumes of what he intends to do. While the name he has given himself gives no hints to his actual name, the guild's name is a classic tack on the phrase, 'Sometimes the world doesn't need a hero, sometimes all it needs is another monster'. Can you really help this guild grow knowing this?" I looked over to my sister, and I did have to agree, but the benefits outweighed the cons, but I knew I would have to be careful about this and we would have to talk about the rules of the guild after he got back.
I didn't say anything, for I knew that his name was hinting to something, but it wasn't his name. It was hinting to what he would become. He named himself Killer for a reason and he named his guild Monster Of Monsters for a reason too. He wasn't setting himself up to be a hero nor was he doing the same with his guild, he was making himself and this guild what he intended to do, getting the job done, by any means necessary.
Creating a stronger world for us ponies by having a select few become monsters that kill other monsters.
Upon stepping off the train, Eris and I were met with a squad of Royal Guards wielding what I assumed was silver swords and spears. I stepped up to them and one walked up to me and pushed me out the way.
"Get out of here child, you don't belong here." She said before I smiled under my bandana and stepped back up to her.
I chuckled darkly as Eris stepped away from the guard with her hands up before I gripped her wrist and squeezed. At first, she flinched at the sudden action before my grip tightened even more causing her to attempt to pry my hand off of her wrist. "Funny, because I was told to come here by Celestia to kill a monster, but I seem to have no way to lure it out." I pulled her down to my level as she stared at me, her eyes filled with fear as she tried to pry my hand away.
I wanted to get the job done, not make friends. I wanted them to see that I will be respected and by doing so; they would better off. I may not act like it, but I want to minimize casualties while making sure no one will care if I die; even if I have to be seen as the bad guy.
"Maybe I'll just use your corpse as bait and call your death an occupational loss or are you gonna let me do my job, you worthless bitch." I released her and she fell to the ground where the other guards' bodies stiffened as I glared at them, my eyes were the only things that could be seen.
"W-wait, y-y-your Occisor?" The mare asked before I nodded and walked up to her. I wanted it to be clear that insubordination will not be tolerated. I may not be known for consistency, but that's not important right now and my actions might contradict what I write, but fuck it; none of that matters.
I nodded and looked at the guards ahead of me and glared at them like my ROTC instructor would when we did something wrong. I pulled my gun to the front of my body and shouldered the Winchester.
"Call a city meeting and stream it to the rest of the city before the sunsets. Anyone who goes against this will be met with imprisonment or being my new bait. Understood." My tone was cold and harsh as they only stood at attention and saluted before running off, presumably to complete the task I have given them and to get the fuck away from me. Being nice would have to wait.
"Did you have to scare them?" Eris asked as I turned to her.
"Would you have preferred my alternative?" Eris froze after seeing that I had my finger on the trigger. She understandably backed the fuck away from me. I wouldn't want to be near me ever, but I don't have a choice.
"Nope, just keep doing what you're doing!" I smiled, not that she could see it, before walking away and hopefully to where the meeting would take place. "I'll take us there because with how much you scared the guards, they made the meeting time close to now." I nodded before she snapped her fingers causing the scenery to change in an instant. I think I was saved to the effects of the first time teleporting because I blinked just in time as the teleportation took place.
Make sense? No? Well, nobody fucking asked you so I don't care. And if anyone is reading this before it's completely written in then fuck you. If every page has something, then congrats, you're reading the published version; if you want a cookie, look somewhere else. I don't do participation awards.
It didn't take long for Eris to take lead and lead me to a platform hovering over a large group of ponies with news cameras pointing at me. They have high tech cameras, but not rifles, the fuck is Equestria's tech evolution.
"All of Manehattan has been called to a city-wide meeting as ponies and several other creatures have been crowded into the City Hall and within the streets to hear what a specialist has to say about the recent killings." The reporters looked over at me and from what I could see on the screens, they pointed at me with widened eyes. "There seems to be a kid on top of the platform, we have no clue who they are, but we of the Manehattan Channel Six believe that they will introduce whoever called this city-wide meeting." I sighed into the microphone as I steeled myself for what would inevitably be a mass of anger.
"Hello, I am the one who called this meeting." Murmurs echoed throughout the crowd after seeing that me, what could be considered a five-year-old, called a meeting that required the entire city to hear. "My name is not important, but if you want to call me something... Call me Occisor." I waited for a few minutes as the audio delay was fucking me over right now. "I called this meeting to... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FIX THE AUDIO DELAY BEFORE I FUCKING LOSE IT!!!" I yelled at the staff behind the curtain who immediately fixed it. I had the decency to turn off the mic before I yelled. I turned it back on of course when it was fixed. "I'm here to say that I'm going to be the one to find the killer."
A second passed with absolute silence before the inside of the City Hall erupted into cries of outrage. I can tell that it was getting out of hand so I pulled out my 1911 and fired a bullet into the air. That caused everyone to shut the fuck up as I lowered the gun to my side.
"Good, your quiet." My voice was no longer the calm tone once heard, it was once again cold and harsh to the ears of those who heard it. "Despite how I look, I'm sixteen and the killer is from my world." I took off my hat and bandana to show my face. "First, I am human. Second, I know what the killer is." The murmurs began again as I ignored them and continued on my "speech". "The killer is a Wendigo from my world. Now, what do you think that means?"
A stallion stood and smiled innocently as he spoke up. "That all we need is a stronger friendship, then it will go away." I facepalmed hard as I sighed deeply into the mic. I forgot how nïeve the ponies in MLP were.
"No, that means if you see one, it will kill you, then eat your corpse." The ponies were silent after that. "Human legends revolve around death and murder to get the point across, so friendship is nothing more than a quick way to get yourself killed by this monster. There has always been one surefire way to stop it." The ponies and other creatures looked hopeful. "I will kill it." There are the looks of horror.
"B-but that would make you a monster!" This came from a griffin who seemed to have the same mindset of the ponies; maybe they grew up around ponies or spend so much time around them that they started to think like them. Eh, these are just conspiracies.
"Yes, but I don't care. I'm a germ believer that sometimes the world doesn't need a hero, some times it needs is another monster." I looked over the crowd from r a second before I sighed for hopefully the last time, I know I'm writing this after it happened, let me write the way I want.
I will become a bad guy to kill something worse, but how they will react is the deal-breaker. It's not the rules, but how others will react to the rules. If they start to act like humans because of them, then we'll have to deal with riots.
"To complete our goals and catching this Wendigo, new rules will have to be made." I let this information sink in before I continue. "No one will be able to leave the city for any reason, the skies will be patrolled by guard pegasi at all hours of the day, and patrols will be made by guards through the streets with no less than eight to ten guards and each will carry a whistle to alert anyone of where the Wendigo is. Any guard who disobeys these orders will be killed." The guards stiffened after hearing this and I could feel the collective fear.
That's about what I expected after I said what I did. It was a harsh punishment for something so minimal, but if this Wendigo escapes, then we'll have to search all of Equestria for it.
"For the citizens, the punishment will be much more lenient because they are not crucial to the safety of anyone but themselves." Again, harsh, but true. They are effectively useless. The only thing keeping them from being bait is that I need support from the crown to kill the Wendigo. "A curfew will be enacted from sunrise to sunset and unless you have a good reason, you will not leave your homes. Anyone who disobeys this will be arrested and will be imprisoned for a week." There were some of the crowd crying out in outrage after I said this. "However," that caused them to stop, "it isn't a punishment, you will be safer than anyone else because of Wendigos act on instinct and not intelligence. You will be known for not having the instinct to keep yourself safe, so the prison will do it for you." This was something that the populist would have to agree to, they don't have a choice. "I will investigate with the help of the mare who recently lost her child to the Wendigo in this city. Whoever she is, she will have until sunset to report to the mayor's office before an armed escort will be sent to retrieve her at any cost." I was about to walk off before I remembered something as I turned back to the crowd. "Oh and one more thing, everything just stated will be effective immediately. It's imperative that you return home and if you wish to buy something that might help you protect yourself from the Wendigo, buy a silver weapon. Wendigos are weak against silver."
"And why should we listen to a child!" I stopped before turning back to the creature that spoke up. It was a Minotaur who seemed to be taller than the crowd around him. "Forall we could know, you've been causing the killing to get the people off the streets so you may do whatever you want." A dark evil chuckle came from me as I walked back.
"So someone grew some fuckin balls to speak up." I shouldered my Winchester as I could feel dread come from behind me. I guess Eris fears me a little bit after I shot that guy in Canterlot, but this would get the point across.
"Damn it, not again," Eris said from behind me as I raised my gun and shot the minotaur in the leg. Don't ask me how; I got lucky. Everyone around him backed away along with the creatures that were near the balcony. Don't judge me, I forgot the word for what I was standing on.
"I don't take shit from anyone, understand." His screams were all I could hear as others were still trying to recover from the gunshot and the fact I just shot someone in front of everyone. "Mercy is a mistake I will never make. No one will be given special privileges; no matter the social standing or age. If you follow what I say then the investigation will move faster than you will anticipate. If I have to estimate when this will be completed; it would have to be around two to three weeks, not even a month." Most were looking at me with fear or anger, but they quickly all were afraid of me after I glared at them with pure intent to kill. Some may be predators, thinking they are the apex of all life, but they're not. Hell, I'm sure most creatures that are rich or come into a family of high society believe they are the true apex... but they're not. Today, they are under the temporary rule of a true apex predator.
I have decided to turn this book into the bases of the Monstra Monstrum handbook for rules and regulations. I will also publish my bestiary for the guild as well as I plan to make a branch of the Monstra Monstrum called the Monstra Scientia, or Monster of Knowledge, to research the monsters and find a better way to attract them and find them.
What I have planned for bait... let's just say that it's inhumane. I would love to not use creatures as bait, I've already used three, and all almost succeeded. Unfortunately, this has caused some public outcry about my methods; however, I have assured them that, with the lack of knowledge about this monster, this is the current best course of action. I do have potions that can heal anyone if they do manage to live, but it will only stabilize them for some time so I can take them to the hospital.
It has been less than a few days, about three days to be specific, and each day seems to make the Wendigo bolder attacking before we get to my lookout point. That mare that I asked for, by the way, has been with me for about two days. I let her mourn for the first day, so I went out alone for the first day, but after that, she has been with me almost every moment except for showering and going to the bathroom. Her name is Genitle breeze and she's a twenty-four-year-old mare with yellow fur and a dark blue mane with small sky blue strikes running through it. Now, I guess if your reading this, you don't care about the stuff that doesn't require the Wendigo.
All of the baits had one thing in common, the wound I inflicted on each of them. Each one I shot threw the leg with minimal damage so they couldn't move unless they would be healed at a hospital. This caused a ton of public outcry after hearing that I was gonna use a few residents as live bait, but that ended in three having to be killed due to a threat of death on multiple guards that had the means to do so and almost fifty were arrested. Honestly, I expected to have to kill more before they stopped. They began to fear me and listen to what I had to say. It was only three days with a single death for each. However, with the information gained from each of the live baits, we had what we needed to carry out an operation.
This Wendigo seems to prefer younger pray, with most of its victims, have been more devoured the younger they are. My first bait was a thirty-four-year-old stallion with higher than average muscle mass; the Wendigo took an arm before retreating for the rest of the night. The stallion is currently in recovery with a prosthetic arm and in physical therapy. I go talk to him now and again to get any info I can and we managed to find its hunting grounds where we continued out bait trials at with greater results.
My next bait was a twenty-two-year-old female griffin that had, what most people would call, a perfect body, but I don't care about that. The Wendigo almost took her intestines and stomach before I came around the corner and saw a leg disappear over a roof. The griffin has expressed her distaste for being bait but has seen my view that this is the best course of action with the current lack of information. Due to magic, she should be resting well within the recovery wing of the local hospital.
My last bait was more of an accident as my gun discharged after I dropped it and hit a ten-year-old minitour caff in the leg. I rushed to get my bag from my tent and get the potion, but when I got back the girl was gone. We did eventually find her in the hunting grounds of the Wendigo about three hours later. She was dead three hours before. Most of her organs had bite marks or were just completely gone wit obvious signs that they have been eaten out of his body, most of their skin and fur was clawed off and eaten, and almost all her bones were broken. Genital Breeze was horrified, but I began to notice a pattern.
With the current data, this Wendigo seems to be getting bolder and is attracted to blood. It seems to be hunting Genital Breeze but goes after others that seem to be bleeding at the time and cannot tell who they are through the smell of the blood. I estimate that it prefers to go after creatures between the ages of five to twenty-five due to it only taking a small portion of the stallion but almost taking all of the intestines of the female griffin. I believe the reason it is becoming bolder is that it believes that Genital Breeze survived one of its attacks. Finally, I believe that it seems to find the smell of blood more attractive if it's younger which is why it went after Genital's daughter after she was injured trying to escape from that Wendigo.
With the current information along with the current string of murders, I have found that the Wendigo is an opportunist, striking when there will be little resistance and will even attack its prey in a crowd if it believes that it won't be in danger by doing so. With this, I have made a plan to kill it, but we will have to be on its hunting grounds for it to work and we will have to be alone. With the current guards' armor, it would make too much noise to have any of them remain hidden.
Unfortunately, this would mean that I would have to only take my pistol. It saw the damage my rifle could do and must've learned that it could kill it. I'm not risking the Wendigo being sentient and avoiding me because of my gun.
"You ready?" I asked Gentle Breeze as I slid the pistol underneath my shirt. Several hours of drill made me quick to respond with my pistol. I can draw it in less than a second and fire even quicker.
"Yes, but are you sure you still need me?" She asked as I loaded a couple extra clips in .45 ACP. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
"Yes, it's hunting you so I'll need you to draw it out. I have something to cause a wound on myself if it gets too close to you." I put on a ring that had a tiny hook on the side for me to cut open a wound. As I wrote before, the Wendigo seems to be attracted by blood and seems to ignore it's pray in favor of the one bleeding out.
"Fine I trust you." I pocketed the ammo as I looked over to the mountain of ammo created by Eris.
"And even if we fail today, we have more than enough ammunition to try again the only hard part will be drawing it out." I grabbed a knife and hooked it to my belt, the silver blade almost guaranteeing that it'll penetrate the skin of the monster. "I'm kinda excited to be honest."
"Why?" The mare looked at me for a moment as she packed salt and a few matches.
"This is the first bounty of the Monstra Monstrum, this will find the start of the guild." I stepped out after I finished putting my mags in my pocket.
"But you could die?" She seemed a little frightened after my explanation.
"An occupational hazard. I, personally, don't care." She stepped out with a nice sun dress hugging her form.
"Sounds bad. Many would run away to live." I shrugged as we walked to the Wendigo's hunting grounds.
"I do what must be done; even if it's cruel." We walked not to far down the road where a checkpoint was set up.
I had to move the city blockade after we found the hunting grounds; however, I made sure that none could leave the city if anyone tried. No one is allowed to leave until this Wendigo is dead, no exceptions.
The guard eventually saw what I was doing as necessary after a meeting between me and the local captain. Ethics were not my highest concern at the moment. The captain hated all of my responses and a few of the chain of command were disgusted by my responses. My general lack of empathy and my apathetic responses were bases on reason, not emotion. The chain of command wanted me to capture it so it can stand trial, but that would be a waste of resources and lives, killing it would be simpler. They had to begrudgingly agree that what I said was right. That's how I got the go ahead to set up bait to learn more about the monster.
Ranting, I know, but it helps explain things a little more. You can never have to much info.
"Let us in." The guards opened the improvised gate and we walked in, but that's when I was on guard. The guards saw it and gripped their silver spears and swords tighter than they already were. I could tell we were being watched and it was putting me on edge.
We walked down the road, the streets were empty, and the buildings were abandoned. Everyone who were living in the Wendigo's hunting grounds were evicted and assigned to live in a new building.
"This is fuckin' terrifying." I whispered to Gentle as I was just itching to pull my fuckin' gun. Damn, why was I on edge. I was never on edge when I came in here before, so why was I scared.
Wait... I'm smiling? Am I excited? I'm shaking and my chest is feeling... Off. Was it excitement? I've been suppressing my emotions for years, I guess I've been doing it subconsciously even after my depression just... Faded.
My mind was a jumbled mess for a few seconds. I lost so many valuable seconds that could be spent observing the shadows for the Wendigo. Emotions are confusing.
"Do you feel it?" Gentle asked as I snapped back to reality. "I feel like I'm being watched." I looked around and attempted to find the Wendigo. I made it look like we were looking at stores while my eyes flicked from rooftop to rooftop and alleyway to alleyway.
A hand was now grasping the handle of my pistol while I began to see small glances of the Wendigo. It knows we're coming and if we want an advantage, we need to get to the point of the hunting grounds we agreed on going to. If all things go according to plan; it'll be dead within the hour.
"Are we close to the city square?" I asked, I wasn't familiar with the area or even New York Times Square, what I was referring to. I was anxious to kill this thing. The faster I did this, the faster I could go home... Maybe. I really hope this was all I had to do, but maybe... Just maybe, I could stay in touch with a few of these ponies.
"Yes, we should get there soon." Gentle Breeze said as as I could hear the monster getting steadily closer. I was checking my peripherals more often and I began to see it more often. "We're a block away." I began to pull out my pistol and hid it between me and Gentle, having to press my side into hers to hide the ranged weapon.
"Good."
It didn't take long to reached the square and I looked up. There was a lot of clouds in the sky, their original white color turning into a dark, almost navy blue after the sun set beyond the horizon. I couldn't help but laugh... This is too perfect.
"Now." My voice was a low whisper as I spun to face a nearby alleyway and fire into it, the Wendigo avoiding almost every bullet and charges me.
"What the buck!" Gentle yelled as I fired more and more rounds at the monster. It avoided almost every bullet.
It tackled me to the ground as I finally put a bullet into its leg. Gentle tried to pull it off but was pushed into a light post and was soon unconscious. I put a leg on its chest and pushed, gaining some space between us and slowly pulling my hand away from it's grip.
It screeched in my face as it tried to bite it off. One of it's claws piercing through my wrist causing me to cry out in pain. That cry turned into a roar of unbridled rage as the adrenaline allowed me to push past my physical limits. I had way more push back and was able to break my hands free of the Wendigo's grip.
My hands went straight for it's head as the hand without a gun gripped it's head; one of it's hands gripped around that wrist. The other hand was retaken by the Wendigo's grip but the barrel was much closer than it was before being pressed to the ground.
We were struggling against one another, my hand slowly getting closer. I was on top of it, it's legs thrashing as I had it pinned. It's screeched almost sounded as it it was pleading, but as stated previously, I don't fucking care. If it's in my way, I'll fucking kill it.
My hand is closer as the sound of flapping wings could be heard. I was fucking pissed. If those guards got here, then they would steal my kill. It's mine, not theirs. There were guards in the clouds in case things went wrong, but things were going right.
I drop my gun as I had planned. It's arm that was holding my gun hand was sent to the one gripping it's head. I reached behind me and pulled out a secret weapon; a silver meat clever. It saw it for a second before it tore though it's skull.
I kept going, chopping and hacking at it's skull and chest. I could feel it's blood wash over me as my hand became drenched in blood, going up my arm and the right side of my face. I was able to pull my self to reality and began to hack its body to pieces. I was on the bridge over loosing it again, but I made sure to get my priorities straight.
My adrenaline ran low as I began to noticed how heavily I was breathing. I got of of it, its body twitching despite limbs being completely severed.
I heard the sound of hooves as the guards finally got here. I looked at them and back down to it. It's head was about to reform. I cut and sliced at it once again. More and more blood covering me.
"A-a-are you alright sir." I looked at the guard, she, like most guards, were terrified. I only nodded and pulled salts from my pocket and threw it on it.
"Burn the body." I walked to Gentle, she managed to wake up during my mental shutdown as I was cutting the Wendigo to bits.
I only felt heat from the burning of the body. The Wendigo was dead, I could go home.
I was working on the paperwork I had recently gotten, I needed it to purchase a guildhall. It was annoying, yes, but like my guild; necessary. I found out the hard way that people, or creatures in this case, like my guild, but don't wanna join it. It was understandable, but annoying... again. I had taken to my self-given name of Occisor, so I signed all the documents with said name. All I had to do was turn them in after I signed them and then Luna and I will have made the Monstra Montrum.
"Occisor." I looked over to Eris who I have made an assistant after she wanted to help the guild without being in the field. "A young stallion is here to see you."
"Send him in," I responded as I adjusted in my seat. I was a bit curious about whom this was, but that wasn't important at the moment.
I was adjusting the current stack of papers on my desk. I was given a room in the castle for the time being and was allowed to take appointments from 6 AM to 6 PM, but I officially opened at 9 AM. As I was making my temporary desk presentable, a tall, navy blue stallion walked in. He wore casual wear and that already got him on my good side.
"Hello, sir." The stallion said as he took a seat on the other side of the desk.
"No need to call me sir. I'm only seventeen." He blinked for a second as I looked him over. I was cautious. No doubt that I had some enemies within Canterlot, but they wouldn't want to fuck with me; however, better safe than sorry. "So why have you made an appointment?"
"I want to join." I couldn't help but smile, he was straight to the point and I liked it.
"Out of curiosity, why have you decided to join?" He looked down for a second, a sad look on his face, and small tears running down it.
"My sister died not too long ago. It happened two days ago and-" I had to stop him, I wasn't impressed.
"I don't want to hear it. I don't care about your past, your family, or your fucking back story. Right now it sounds like your joining to die, but that's not what I'm looking for. So if you insist on continuing this retarded sob story that I could care less about, then go ahead, But don't expect to be able to join." he stopped for a second, my harsh words seemed otherworldly, but I didn't fucking care about his sob story. I wanted to know if he could kill and that's all.
"I was fired from my job because they believe I caused her death, so I want a new job... I want to fucking slaughter these fucking monsters that fired me for wanting to fulfill my sister's last wishes and mark it up as an accident." I chuckled, this guy was ruthless.
"Congrats, you got the job." I stood up and shook his hand. "Tell me, what's your name?"
