What happens when Warehouse 13 and the agents who run it receive a mysterious artifact? It activates
What happens when Warehouse 13, also known as America's Attic, and the agents who run it receive a mysterious artifact from the Regents? The artifact activates somehow, of course.
In the wake of this particular artifacts activation, the warehouse agents, along with the warehouse itself and all the artifacts contained within get transported to another world, much different from their own.
Now they must track down the artifact and others to return home.
A/N: The teen rating is more of for later, as I plan on some fights and possibly some language, though not likely too much. I don't have any deaths planned from the start, and I'm not likely to include any, even though it happens all the time in the show (Warehouse 13). Seeing as how this is the warehouse, expect some comedy here and there. I am trying to write so that each chapter contains one episodes worth of content.
Thanks go to Radon18 who provides some help on the story. I am looking for an editor for help with grammar, and to pre-read the story for quality control. You get a mention in my notes/story description (like Radon), so if you want that, apply for the post. Just send a PM. But there are some requirements: 1) You must have Skype, but you don't need to be able to participate in calls. 2) I need somebody to help motivate me to write. Think you can do it? (WARNING: I may be playing D&D in a Skype call sometimes.) 3) The grammar is American English. I only say this because a friend of mine was dating a Canadian for a little while.
“So what does this artifact do?” Asked Pete from one side of a large crate.
The crate is a little shorter than Artie, but still too wide to fit through the doors. The group of four was moving it along the warehouse floor using a wheeled platform for that express purpose. For increased stability and control, two were on one side of the crate, and the other two were on the other, guiding the corners.
“All the records about it except what it is were lost when it was activated in 1983.” Artie said this from the other side. “All we know is that it’s something to do with the original My Pretty Pony or something similar.”
Claudia looked around the side towards Pete, taking a note from the side of the crate. “It says here that it was found in the residence of a woman named Lauren Faust. The Regents somehow got a hold of it, and dropped it off for us to catalog. Other than that, they didn’t tell us anything.”
“Which sounds just like them,” replied Myka from next to Pete. “So where are we putting it, Artie? The Ovoid Quarantine since it just came in?”
“Until we can classify it, hopefully without activating it,” Artie looked up and down the crate, “it’s going to the Quarantine.”
As they rounded the corner of one of the shelves, Pete bumped into it by accident, causing it to shake slightly.
“Careful, Pete, we don’t need other artifacts falling on this one,” admonished Myka.
“I know, Myka. It was an accident. I’ll be more careful next time.”
As they passed by another shelf, a bowling ball rolled off the top, crashing down into the crate. Artie began looking worried, and began frantically searching the aisles for something. Suddenly a bright light started flooding out of the hole in the crate.
“Uh, Artie, I think it’s activating,” stated Claudia, as her, Pete, and Myka backed away from the crate.
“I know,” replied Artie anxiously as he continued searching, until he finally found what he was looking for. He picked up a pump sprayer and began to spray the contents into the hole in the crate, just as the crate blows apart. A bright flash went off, and they all fell to the ground, unconscious.
Pete placed his hand on his head as he sat up, groaning. “What happened?” He asked this of nobody in particular. “Did that artifact activate?”
Myka sat up as well, answering his questions. “It seems like it. Was that Dick Weber’s bowling ball that fell?”
Artie and Claudia both got up, with Artie going straight to his feet. He moved over to the crate, which has fallen apart, to reveal nothing but a bowling ball in it.
“Yes, it’s his bowling ball. And it seems that the artifact is gone. This is just great.” He picked up the bowling ball, when Claudia spoke up.
“I told you we shouldn’t have gone this way, but did you listen? Nooooo. You insisted this was the shortest route there, and that none of the artifacts along the way would give us any trouble.” Claudia looked around them, including up at the ceiling. She continued, still in that patronizing tone, “and because you were too stubborn to listen, we lost the artifact.”
Various items along the shelves began shaking and sparking. A few began to glow, and all four of them looked around.
“I think we should all just call down,” said Myka, in what she hoped was a calming tone of voice.
“I think you’re right, Myka,” agreed Artie. “Let’s all just take a deep, slow breath.” He followed his words by doing the action he just suggested.
The other three did the same thing, taking a deep, slow breath. The artifacts seemed to begin calming down as well. Just as the artifacts calm down, several alarms went off, and neutralizer began spraying down from the ceiling all over the warehouse.
“Uh, Artie, why are the alarms going off? And why is everything being sprayed by neutralizer?” Claudia asked while looking all about the warehouse. “I mean, the artifacts are calming down, aren’t they?”
“This is bad, this is very bad.” Artie muttered as he took off down various aisles, making his way back to his office. “If the alarms are going off like this, then it can mean only one thing.”
Pete, Myka, and Claudia just looked at each other before taking off after Artie.
Pete asked the obvious question that on the minds of all three of them, “What do the alarms mean, Artie?” He seemed a bit worried, though he was trying to keep his tone light. “I mean, it can’t be worse than anything we’ve dealt with before, can it?”
Artie stopped and looked back at them, causing them to stop. “This is far worse than anything that has happened yet. A large number of artifacts have mysteriously vanished from the warehouse all at once.” He quickly resumed the journey to his office.
The others looked at each other again, this time half-shocked and half-horrified expressions on their faces. “Okay, so it is that bad,” deadpaned Pete. They quickly set off after Artie again.
“Well, can’t we just find the artifact that caused all this and douse it with neutralizer?” Asked Myka as they finally reached the stairs to Artie’s offices, about half an hour later.
“It’s not that simple, Myka. We don’t know how the other artifacts vanished from the warehouse, so neutralizing it is out of the question for now. First, we need to find it, though.” Artie said as he sat at his computer, and began typing. “This is worse than I thought,” he states as he sits back in his chair.
“Let me see,” replied Claudia as she moved over to the computer and began typing. “This is bad.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” Myka looked to Artie, “Artie, what’s wrong?”
Artie looked at her and Pete, telling them, “We can’t access any kind of database. News, medical records, nothing. Not even the internet.”
“That is bad. I’m going to take a look around outside, see if anything’s out there,” announced Pete as he headed to the door.
Once he maked it outside, he looked around, picking up a football that was right next to the warehouse. That’s when he noticed that there was grass under his feet instead of dirt. He looked around some more, noticing that the warehouse was now in the middle of an open sea of grass. Off in the distance in about a ninety degree arc he saw mountains. In the distance opposite the further, and likely larger, mountains he could see what seemed to be a small town, and two figures coming towards him. He quickly went back inside, the football forgotten, but still in his hand.
As he rejoined the others, he told them, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” They all just looked at him like he’s crazy before he continued. “I went out, found the football,” which he held up, “and realized I was in a field of grass. When I looked around, there were mountains in the distance in about a ninety degree arc. Coming from the direction of what looked like it might have been a small town were two figures.”
Just as he finished, a faint knocking could be heard coming from the Umbilicus. Artie turned to his computer and brought up the video feed from a camera above the door. On the screen appeared the image of two oddly colored ponies.
One was violet, with a mane that was cut to have bangs that partly cover a horn. The mane was a deep purple, with two stripes running through it, one a truer purple and the other slightly closer to a slightly pinkish shade of purple. Her eyes were quite large, with purple irises.
The second pony was pink in color, with a slightly darker pink mane. This pony’s mane seemed to be curled and extremely puffy. The eyes of this pony were just as large as those of the first, but have blue irises.
The two seemed to be talking to each other, and Claudia asked, “What are they? I mean, they seem like ponies, but they don’t seem like any ponies I’ve ever heard of.”
“Is there some kind of artifact that could have done this, Artie?” Asked Myka, expanding by saying, “I mean, artifacts can do all kinds of weird things, can’t they?”
Pete seemed to be thinking. Suddenly, he asked Artie, “Can you angle the camera to look at their flanks?” Artie began typing and the other two look at Pete. “For some reason, this is reminding me of My Little Pony.” When they continued looking at him like he’s half-crazy, he explained, “I have a sister, remember?”
Artie finally managed to get the camera angled properly. With the new angle, the camera revealed symbols or tattoos of some kind on the ponies’ flanks. The one on the lavender pony had five six pointed stars surrounding a larger pink star with the points of another white star behind it. The pink ponies mark was three balloons. Two balloons were blue with yellow strings, and the middle one, which was slightly higher than the other two, was yellow with a blue string.
Pete shook his head. “It can’t be. But is it possible?”
“It can’t be what, Pete?”
“Is it possible we somehow ended up in the world of the new My Little Ponies series, Myka? I mean, those two match perfectly for two of the characters.” Again, he got nothing but stares wondering what he was talking about. “Apparently Hasbro made a new version of My Little Ponies recently.” A thought suck him. “Claudia, you said that the artifact was found in the home of Lauren Faust, right?”
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with this?”
“Lauren Faust was the executive producer as well as one of the lead character designers for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Is it possible that she somehow managed to use the artifact to travel to this place, and used it to get back as well?”
The three other agents looked particularly stunned at Pete’s theory. They were justified in it, though, since Myka was usually the deductive power behind the pair of them. Artie recovered and said, “It’s possible that it happened.”
“Well, let’s go meet them. If this really is Equestria, then they won’t harm us,” said Pete, slightly excited, and with a smile on his face.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Pete,” replied Artie. “This isn’t Earth, or at least not a version of it that’s similar to ours.”
“Trust me, Artie, I’ve got a good vibe about them.”
Myka agreed with Pete, “If Pete’s got a good vibe about something, then I’m going to agree with him. His vibes haven’t been wrong yet.”
Artie sighed, “Fine.” As they went through the door, he shouted at them, “but be careful out there!”
As Pete and Myka exited the warehouse, the two ponies backed away. The purple one began looking them up and down, like she was examining them, while the pink one bounced excitedly.
“I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!” Shouted the pink one as she bounced. “I knew they’d come out eventually if we waited.” She stoped bouncing long enough to stretch out her hoof. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and this is my friend, Twilight Sparkle.”
Pete took the proffered hoof and shook it. “I’m Pete, and this is Myka. It’s nice to meet you, Pinkie, and you too, Twilight.”
“Wait a minute, you already know what we go by....” Pinkie’s face split with a large smile. “Then Lauren did turn the adventures I told her about into a show where she came from, didn’t she!”
“Lauren, as in Lauren Faust? Yeah, she worked on a show that you two are main characters of. Wait, you met Lauren Faust? How? And for that matter, how did you find us so fast?”
“Well, the way I met Lauren is when she visited here with a large pony statue. The way we found you is because....” Pinkie began delving into a story at this point, and both agents listened attentively, Pete with a smile on his face, and Myka with a look that expressed slight disbelief, amongst other emotions.
=30 Minutes Ago, Ponyville=
Pinkie hopped her way towards the library from Sugarcube Corner. She had just experienced a doozy of a combo, one she’d only had a handful of other times. This time, however, it repeated itself four times, and there was an addition to the end of it, something new. She felt that Twilight would be interested in seeing what it meant.
She slipped silently into the door of the library. She didn’t see Twilight right away, and figured it was probably because it was so early. She then headed for the kitchen, to find Twilight at the dining table. She helped herself to a bowl of fruit salad and sat down across from her friend.
“Hi Twilight. Mind if I have breakfast with you?”
Twilight was visibly startled by Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie Pie, when did you get here?”
Pinkie took a bite of the food in front of her, answering with, “Just now. I had a doozy of a combo about a minute ago, and I thought you’d like to see what it means.”
“What does this particular one mean, Pinkie? I had plans to re-organize the shelves today.”
“This one means visitors. About four of them, and something else, though I’m not sure what. And they aren’t from Equestria.”
That caught Twilight’s attention. If visitors were coming from outside of Equestria, then it was an opportunity for her to learn something new. It was also an opportunity for her to meet new ponies and make new friends.
“Do you know when they’ll get here? Or where they’re coming from?”
“They’re already here, and about half an hour northeast of Ponyville. So, are we going to go meet them?”
Twilight took a bite of her food and said, “Let me write a note for Spike, and we can get going.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie.” Pinkie quickly finished her food in a couple of bites, and walked over to the front door as Twilight began writing a note.
The two left the library, the note on the table in the middle of the main room. As they headed towards the edge of Ponyville, they just talked about various things going on around Ponyville and such. They also spoke about the latest news from Canterlot and how well the princesses were doing, as well as Shining Armor and Cadence.
After most of half an hour, they could see a large building in the distance, with a small figure that looked to be taller than any normal pony coming out. It bent over and picked something up off the ground before looking around, then heading back in.
“What do you think it is, Pinkie?” Asked Twilight of her companion.
“Hmmm. I’m not sure Twilight. It could be a human, though it might not be one.”
“Wait, did you just say that thing might be a human?” Twilight stoped right in front of the spot she believed the creature used to exit and enter the building. Looking at it, she doesn’t see any door.
“Sure did,” responded Pinkie enthusiastically. She looked at the building, “So this is what that last part was all about. This building is definitely something new.”
=Present, 30 Minutes Northeast of Ponyville=
“And that’s when you two came out to meet us,” finished Pinkie as she came to the conclusion of her story. She noticed something and darted over to it, asking no one in particular, “What’s that?”
The other three followed her. She stopped and picked something up a few yards away from the warehouse. She held it up, showing it to the others. “This looks like a hoof from that pretty pony statue Lauren always brought with her.”
In her hoof was what looked like a stone hoof, with brown color on what would be the outside of the statue and the bottom of the hoof. Inside, it looked almost like a stone or concrete statue. Pete and Myka looked from the stone hoof to each other, then back to the hoof.
“I wonder what it could be doing out here?”
“Uh, Pinkie, could we possibly have that hoof? We think that it may be part of what brought us here in the first place.” Pete put on a purple glove before holding out his hand.
“Okay,” said Pinkie as she gave him the hoof.
“I think we should show this to Artie right away, Pete.”
Pete looked at the two ponies. “Could you two possibly wait here for a minute? We don’t want to give Artie a reason to freak out anymore than he will by bringing a couple of talking ponies into the warehouse.”
“Sure thing,” agreed Pinkie right away.
“Sure, we can stay out here,” agreed Twilight after a moment of thought. “But I want to ask you some questions when you come back.”
“Of course, Twilight. I’ll answer to the best of my abilities,” said Pete before him and Myka went back into the warehouse.
Myka got to the office just before Pete and told Artie, “We may have found a piece of the artifact.”
“A piece? What do you mean a piece?” A look of realization came to his face. “The bowling ball must have broken it when it fell. How big a piece did you find?”
“A pony’s hoof,” replied Pete while holding the stone hoof up for the others to see. “And according to the pink pony out there, it’s the hoof from our missing artifact.”
Artie took the hoof and Claudia looked at Pete with look of disbelief on her face. “So you expect us to believe that those two ponies out there can talk?”
“Myka heard them too, didn’t you Myka?”
“As crazy as it sounds, they can talk. And Pete seems to know their names even though we’ve never met them before.” Myka turned to look at him, asking, “How is that Pete?”
“Well, you see, remember how I told you that there was a new My Little Pony show? I actually watch it on occasion.” This earned him an assortment of looks from his companions. “What, it’s a good show, and it actually teaches you something. Plus it’s funny a lot of the time. Especially when Pinkie Pie’s involved.”
“Well, we might as well go meet the natives,” replied Claudia after recovering from Pete’s admission of watching a show meant for little girls.
“No, absolutely not. Pete and Myka have probably already done enough damage for one trans-world incident.” Shot back Artie, trying to keep some semblance of order.
“Oh, come on, Artie. Live a little. Plus, it’ll be easier to find the pieces of the artifact with their help than without it. And, they might be able to help with the missing artifacts.”
“Oh, very well then. I might as well come with you three.” Artie grabbed his bag and took it with him, just in case.
As they left the warehouse, Twilight and Pinkie looked to the group. Twilight was obviously bursting with questions while Pinkie was just being her usual self.
“Twilight, Pinkie, meet Claudia and Artie. Artie, Claudia, meet Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie,” said Pete by way of introduction, gesturing to each of them as he named them.
“It’s nice to meet you, Claudia and Artie. I’ve got so many questions....” Her voice trailed off as she looked in the direction of the mountains.
Coming towards them in the sky were two large winged horses. One was white, and the other was a dark blue, like that of a night sky. The white one was slightly larger than the blue one, and seemed to be the one guiding the pair. As they landed next to the group, Twilight, Pinkie, and Pete all knelt. When they touched down, their horns, which couldn’t be seen from the angle the group previously had, became visible, marking them as alicorns.
“Princesses, what brings you out here?” Asked Twilight as the kneeling trio got back to their feet.
“We felt the presence of several humans coming into Equestria,” replied the white one. “Pinkie was kind enough to introduce us to Lauren the second time she came here.” She turned her gaze to the four humans. “Now who might you four be?”
Pete smiled at the princesses. “I’m Pete Lattimer. Myka Bering here is my partner. Artie’s in charge of the warehouse, and Claudia Donovan is his apprentice of sorts.” He gestured to each of them as he named them. “And might I say, it’s an honor to meet you, Princesses.” He half turned to his companions. “Myka, Artie, Claudia, these are Princesses Celestia and Luna. Celestia is in charge of the sun, and rules over the day. Luna is in charge of the moon and rules over nighttime.”
Twilight spoke up after the introductions. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, princesses, but why did you fly here instead of teleport, or come in a carriage like you normally would?”
Princess Celestia seemed about to respond when she was cut off by Luna. “We did not wish to alarm the humans with how much command we have over magic. We also do not want knowledge of them spreading beyond those of us here.”
Celestia spoke up at this point. “Which is why we’re going to cast a spell to give you pony forms.”
Artie immediately spoke up, saying, “There is no way I’m being changed into a pony. I don’t care if it will help us find the missing artifacts. I simply refuse to be changed into a pony.”
Right before he said the word pony for the second time, a bright flash emanated from the horns of the two alicorns, blinding all those present.
“Uh, Artie, I think it’s a little late for that,” said Claudia as everypony’s vision returned.
The four humans turned ponies looked at each other for a moment, nearly collapsing. Artie was now an earthy brown pony, with a short, very curly black mane flecked with gray. His tail was short, with gray replacing the black at the end of it. His eyes were a deep, almost chocolate color brown, and his glasses had been resized to fit his new pony features. His cutie mark seemed to be an NSA Seal, except it said “Warehouse 13” around the border instead of “National Security Agency” and “United States of America”was still where it normally would be.
Claudia had become a slightly reddish unicorn mare, with purple eyes. Her mane was the usual red of her hair and was in her usual bob cut, with a blue “skunk” stripe going down one side. Her tail was in a fashion similar to a bob cut, though it looks more like one specifically done for tails. It was the same red as her mane, and had a blue stripe also going down it. The mark on her flank was a keyboard similar to that connected to the warehouse computer, with the keys “W-A-R-E-H-O-U-S-1-3” pushed down.
Myka had been transformed into a light brown/tan unicorn, with a mane curled like her normal hair. Her tail seemed to be of a similar style, and both were of a shade of brown much darker than her coat. Her eyes were the same green they were before her transformation. On her flank was a dark leather bound book, which seemed to have an image of the warehouse on the cover.
Pete’s change was probably the most drastic, which was noted by his companions and the other ponies present. He had become a forest green pegasus. His large eyes were a deep sea blue. His mane was actually a bit more grown out than what his hair normally was, and it seemed to be a shade of brown darker than Myka’s coat. His tail was also extremely bushy, and the same shade of brown as his mane. His cutie mark was actually a Secret Service badge, though there were some differences between his mark and an actual badge. Above the words “Special Agent” on the bottom was the number “4994” and instead of the words “Secret Service” in the middle was “North Canton FD,” though to those familiar with an actual badge, it was mostly the same.
Pete looked at himself and said, “This is so cool.” He looked to the princesses and asks, “Can I actually fly, or are the wings just for show?”
“You can fly with your new wings, Pete, but first we must cast an instinct spell to help your minds adjust to your new bodies.” Celestia answered Pete’s question just before the two alicorns’ horns began glowing again. Another flash of light emanated from their horns, though not quite so blinding this time.
When the light cleared, the four seemed much steadier on their hoofs. Claudia opened Artie’s bag with her magic, floating objects randomly out of it with her new found magical abilities. “This is so cool. You have got to try this, Myka.”
Pete instantly took to the air, spreading his wings wide, laughing. “This is amazing. Now I can see why Dash likes flying so much.”
Myka began levitating a few items out of Artie’s bag as well. Artie, being himself, began protesting. “Put that stuff back this instant, you two. Those are not toys for you to be playing around with.”
The two decided to listen to him, only to keep him from completely losing it. Pete finally decided to land as well. “You know what, we’re going to need a new cover is we’re going to work here. Secret Service won’t exactly work around Equestria.”
Celestia and Luna whispered to each other for a few moments, which had everypony else curious. The two seemed to finally agree on something, and turned their attention back to the others.
“We may have a solution, but to be sure it works, we’ll first have to know what it is that you do exactly,” Celestia told them.
Luna asked, “What is this strange building that came here with you?”
Artie looked between the princesses and the warehouse for a moment. “That, princesses, is Warehouse 13.” He was about to continue, but thought about it for a moment, and sighed. “It’d be easier to show you rather than try to explain it.” He motioned for them all to follow as he went into the Warehouse.
After leading them through the Umbilicus, they reached his office. They went out to the ledge, and he gestured out at the warehouse floor. “Welcome, to Warehouse 13. Or as I like to think of it, America’s Attic.”
The group walked through the various aisles of the warehouse. Twilight was constantly asking questions about the artifacts and why they are there. The artifacts she asked about included the Berlin Wall spray paint, which Pete was currently explaining.
“When a building is sprayed with it, the building slowly crumbles, though painting an anarchy symbol seems to make it go faster.”
“Is there a way to reverse it? And what’s an anarchy symbol?” Asked Twilight, since she did not know about some of the stuff from the human world.
“An anarchy symbol is a capital ‘A’ surrounded by a circle, with parts of is overlapping the circle. As for how to reverse it, you have to paint over the anarchy symbol with a peace sign, which is kind of hard to describe.”
As they walk, Pinkie bumped into one of the shelves, causing it to shake. “Oops,” she said. As the agents steadied the shelf, Myka told her, “Careful. A lot of stuff in here is likely to activate if it falls.” Unfortunately they didn’t get to it quick enough, and a dodge ball fell from one of the higher shelves.
When it hit the ground, it bounced back up and it continued bouncing like that on its own. “Not this again,” groaned Pete as he watched the dodge ball, having gone through a similar experience once before along with Claudia.
Twilight turned to him and asked, “Not what again?” When she took her eyes off the dodge ball, it hit her in the back of the head. When it resumed its bouncing, it split into two.
“That’s what,” answered Claudia. “Every time this thing hits someone, it multiplies. And the only way to stop it is to catch it.”
“Actually, Claudia, the word is somepony here in Equestria,” corrected Twilight, right before one of the dodge balls launched itself at her. Pete attempted to catch it and keep it from hitting her again.
However, he failed, causing it to hit him in the face. “Ow,” he said, as he watched the two dodge balls become three.
Pinkie watched them, her head moving up and down in the same rhythm the balls were bouncing in. “Oooh, is it having babies?” This got a chuckle from Pete, who had said nearly the same thing last time this artifact activated in the warehouse.
“The last time that this thing activated, it nearly beat us to death,” said Claudia, panicking slightly.
Pete also seemed a bit worried, though it was justifiable in that the dodge ball had nearly killed them last time it activated. Neither of them wanted to repeat that experience.
“I wonder....” Claudia trailed off as her horn began glowing.
A purple aura surrounded one of the dodge balls. All this seemed to do, however, is make the dodge ball much more agitated, as it began vibrating. The aura quickly vanished, and the ball split again, for a total of four dodge balls bouncing on the warehouse floor.
“Okay, so magic doesn’t work. I guess we’ll have to do this the old fashioned way.”
The dodge balls began repeatedly assaulting the ponies, quickly multiplying. Eventually, they all froze suddenly, and began moving into one point. That point was another of the dodge balls, held by Pinkie, who was standing on her back hooves.
“That was fun. We should do that again sometime,” said Pinkie. Everypony looked a bit dumbstruck at this.
Pete and Twilight recovered first, having learned some time ago that it was best not to try and follow the pink pony’s train of thought. The princesses recovered shortly after them. Pete and Twilight managed to get the attention of the other three.
“Guys, it’s best not to think about what Pinkie Pie says or does for too long. Down that road lies a broken mind. Trust me,” Pete told them as they rubbed their temples.
“Pete’s right. I’ve tried it, and I’ve gotten nowhere. I can’t even figure out her Pinkie Sense,” seconded Twilight. “And what was that that just attacked us?”
Pete took the dodge ball back from Pinkie and flew up to the top shelf as Artie began explaining what it was.
“That would happen to be the Baylor Dodge ball. You already saw that it can do. It hits those who aren’t paying attention to it, and can only be stopped by catching one of them,” he sighed, looking at the ponies. “It killed five Army cadets at Fort Baylor during training exercises.” He looked at the four Equestrian ponies. “That is why it’s locked up in the warehouse.”
Celestia and Luna nodded at this. Pinkie was looking at all the different artifacts on the shelves, seemingly not paying attention. Twilight, however, was her usual inquisitive self.
“Wait, so everything in here is dangerous? How do you find them all? And how do you get them here?” She would have asked more if not for Artie interrupting her.
“Not everything is inherently dangerous, or even dangerous on its own. But, everything in here is in here for a reason. As for finding them, I normally use various resources, but it seems that I don’t have access to them here, so I’ll have to use whatever is available.” He looks around before continuing, “Getting them here is what Pete and Myka do. They track them down, and bring them back.”
A few moments after Artie finished, but before Twilight could ask another question, Pete landed after returning the dodge ball to its place. "Pinkie, don't move," he told just after landing. The pink pony just gave him a questioning look. "There's an artifact on your head," he continued.
She reached one hoof up and took hold of the artifact. When she brought it down in front of her face, she asked, "A tea kettle?"
"That never ceases to amaze me with how it can do that," said Artie just now noticing it as well. "Pinkie, I want you to clear your head and don't think of anything." He disappeared down an aisle and came back a second later with a large opaque container.
"Okay," agreed Pinkie, opening the kettle. "Hey, it's empty. Why is it empty? Oh, I just remembered! I'll have to throw you four a welcome to Equestria party soon. I just wish I had more balloons." At that, the kettle starts to whistle. "Oh, and the royal guard can come, or at least Shining Armor and Princess Cadence." At this, a ferret climbs out of the kettle as it stops whistling.
Twilight and the princesses watched the ferret with curiosity as Myka grabbed it with magic. The agents were unfazed by the ferret, and Pinkie seemed oblivious to it, continuing with her rant.
"Oh, and you can come too, princesses. And Applejack can help me make the food." At the mention of the princesses, another ferret climbed out, but the kettle whistled when it came to the food.
Claudia got the second ferret, and Artie told Twilight and the princesses "Wish granting kettle," by way of explanation.
Upon hearing that, Twilight took the kettle from Pinkie saying, "I know what I'd wish for at the moment." To her surprise, a ferret came out, which she picked up with magic.
Artie took the kettle from her, and began taking it to the vat. As he trotted, he muttered something under his breath. As he muttered, the kettle began to whistle. He looked up from it, sudden realization on his face. He walked past the vat, dropping the kettle in as he went. He rushed down an aisle, quickly disappearing from sight.
"Let me guess," said Pete. "You wanted her to stop making wishes for a little while."
Twilight just nodded, which Pete takes as a cue to continue. "That was an impossible wish. For some reason, those don't get anything more than a ferret."
When he came back into view, he was human again. This earned him looks of curiosity from everypony present.
Myka was the first to notice something around his neck. "Artie, what's that?" she asked, pointing with a hoof.
Artie held up what looked like a pendant on an old leather cord. “This is the Amulet of Thoth, the Egyptian god of knowledge.” The amulet was an ibis head, with Egyptian hieroglyphs next to it vertically. “It allows the wearer to change between an animal form, and human form. Taking it off reverts the wearer to their natural state, though in this case that would be the pony form you put me in.” He says that while glaring at the princesses. “Too much use will cause the person to be stuck in a halfway state until the artifact can be neutralized.”
“Where did it come from, Artie?” asked Pete. “I don’t think we bagged that one.”
“This is one of the ones that came from Warehouse 2. I put it on a shelf while you were away hunting something else.”
"We'll explain later, Twilight," said Pete, anticipating her questions.
The purple unicorn closed her mouth, which she had barely opened before Pete spoke. She opened it again and asked, "What are you going to do with the ferrets?"
"We're going to have to put them in the ferret kennel," replied Artie.
Pete seemed to think for a moment. "Twilight, do you think Fluttershy would mind taking care of them?"
"I don't think she'd mind too much. And you have a ferret kennel in here?"
"Back when I first joined the warehouse, there were more agents," began Artie. "When they found out about the kettle, we ended up with a lot of impossible wishes. We needed a place to keep all the ferrets, so a kennel was added for them."
"Well, that's all for the tour if you'll be taking the ferrets out of the warehouse," stated Artie.
"It is time that we return to Canterlot," stated Celestia. “You are all invited to the castle for a tour, which will be followed by tea and cookies.” At the mention of cookies, both Pinkie and Pete perked up. “We will have a carriage sent to Fluttershy’s cottage. Twilight, would you let her know that she’s free to come as well?”
“Of course, princess,” replied Twilight.
“We must be going now,” stated Celestia. As her's and Luna's horns began to glow, Pete shouted, “Wait!” catching everypony off guard.
“Why hast thou shouted for us to wait?” asked Princess Luna, the shock of being shouted at causing her to slip back into her archaic speech patterns.
“It’s best that you don’t teleport, since it causes a bright flash of light, as well as all the energy it releases. Some of the artifacts are very touchy.”
“Pete’s right,” agreed Artie, “some of the artifacts are very easily spooked, and you already saw what the dodge ball can do. It’s best if you wait until you’re outside the warehouse to teleport.”
The princesses seemed to think about it for a moment, before both nodding. “Very well, we shall wait until we are outside,” replied Celestia.
The group travelled in silence back to Artie’s office, each lost in their own minds. Everypony was trying to process what had just happened and what they had just learned. Twilight was forming more questions to ask the agents about the warehouse later. Pinkie was being herself and planning them a party. Pete was as giddy as a schoolgirl on the inside. He was in Equestria, the dream of most bronies, and he had already met Twilight and Pinkie, as well as both princesses, Celestia and Luna. He was also on his way to meet Fluttershy, whom he expected wouldn’t turn the ferrets away. Claudia and Myka were both still wondering at it all, and trying to keep the ferrets from escaping their telekinetic grasp.
After several minutes, they arrived at the office. Artie went straight to the computer and sat down, hitting a button on a remote. “Go take care of the ferrets, and bring back any artifacts you come across. I’m going to try and figure out what’s missing.”
They all glanced at Artie before leaving the warehouse. Once outside, the Equestrian ponies breathed deeply. They weren’t used to the warehouse like the agents were, what with all its dust and must. There were very few places like that, one of which happened to be the unused dungeon beneath Canterlot Castle, and nopony ever went there, with very few exceptions.
After a couple of moments, the princesses looked at the others. “It is time we take our leave. We must prepare for your arrival and the tour, as well as send a carriage to pick you all up,” stated Celestia.
Pete bowed, telling them, “It was an honor meeting you princesses.”
"It was an interesting experience, Agent Lattimer," replied princess Luna.
"You can just call me Pete, Princess. Plus, it would probably seem odd to ponies who don't know about the agent thing."
"Hmmm, you have a point, Pete.” She seemed to be testing the feel of his name on her tongue. She still wasn’t entirely used to how informal most things were after the thousand years she had spent on the moon, though she was learning.
Celestia and Twilight both looked to the sky, checking the position of the sun. “We really must go, if things are to be ready for your arrival at the castle,” said Celestia. “We’ll have a carriage meet you at Fluttershy’s in approximately forty-five minutes.”
Twilight nodded at the time estimate. “That should be more than enough time, Princess.”
With that, the princesses vanished in a flash of light.
=50 minutes later, Canterlot Castle=
The five ponies, Fluttershy had decided to stay behind and help the ferrets settle in, climbed out of the carriage. They were greeted by a pair of royal guards, who simply said, "Follow us." Since the only one who had regularly walked the halls of Canterlot Castle, Twilight, followed the guards, they all did so.
As they travelled the castle halls, Twilight and Pete explained some of the more recent history of Equestria to Myka and Claudia, with Twilight occasionally giving brief summaries of more ancient history when that knowledge would be required to understand more recent events.
"I can explain more on Equestria's history later after the tour of the castle," offered Twilight. "The main reason I don't do so now is because we don't have that much time. In fact, the main dining hall should be around the next corner."
Right after Twilight said this, Pinkie stopped and shouted, "Twitchy tail! Twitchy tail!" This caused everypony else to stop and look at her.
When this registered a second later in Twilight’s and Pete's minds, they looked up and quickly took a step back. Less than a second after that, several large candles hit the floor where they were previously standing. A slightly aged smoke grey pegasus with a silvery mane and gold eyes hovered down to them and began picking up the remains of the candles.
"I'm sorry about that. It's not too often I see anypony other than the guards coming through when I replace the candles." He squinted for a moment, looking at Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, is that you?" He reached into his saddlebags, putting the candle pieces in and taking out a pair of glasses, which he then proceeded to put on. "So it is you."
Twilight smiled at him. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Hooves. And it's all right about the candles. It was an accident, and nopony got hurt, thanks to Pinkie."
Pinkie simply smiled and said, “It was nothing.” Myka and Claudia seemed to be about to start asking questions of her at this, but a quick glance from Pete told them he would explain later.
“How have you been, Twilight? Doing all right, I assume. I should probably let you continue on your way. I would love to catch up with you, young mare. You know where to find me when you have a spare moment.”
“I’ll do that, Mr. Hooves. I’ll see you later.” She waved to him as he flew off. After he was gone, she continued on her way to the dining room. “We don’t want to be late for tea,” she said over her shoulder as the rest of the group slowly picked up momentum.
"So what was all that back there about a twitchy tail?" asked Claudia of nopony in particular.
"I'm wondering that myself," stated Myka.
"That was Pinkie's Pinkie sense. I find its better not to wonder how she does it," answered Twilight.
Pete looked to the other two agents and told them, "Think of it like my vibes, only a lot more immediate and specific. A twitchy tail means falling objects, like those candles back there."
A few moments later, they passed through large double doors into a dining hall. There were stained glass windows on the wall to the right and straight in front of the group. To the left was a door smaller than the one they had just passed through and designed to be hidden flush with the wall, likely leading to the kitchen. In the middle of the room beneath a large crystal chandelier was a large table with several plates and teacups in place.
"It looks like we got here before the princesses," said Twilight, looking around. "Wait, I think I hear them behind us."
Everypony moved away from the doors, listening to the hoof falls coming towards them. The group had indeed made it to the dining hall before the princesses, but by a little less than a minute.
The princesses smiled at their guests as they walked to the table. "Please, take a seat," Celestia told them as the alicorns began sitting down.
Twilight took the seat closest to Celestia and across from Luna at the rectangular table. Pinkie sat next to Luna with Pete next to her. Myka ended up sitting across from him with Claudia between her and Twilight.
Right after they finished taking their seats, a couple of unicorns came out of the small door that was flush with wall, levitating trays piled with various types of cookies, including chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, sugar, and many others. They placed these on the table, returned through the door, and quickly came back with a few small tea kettles. They poured the princesses' tea first from one, setting it down near them when the cups were filled. They continued like this until all the cups were full, then left, closing the door behind them as they went.
The princesses' horns began glowing for a moment. As the light faded, Luna spoke. "We have placed a spell over this room to prevent anypony from overhearing this conversation, whether by intent or accident. Unfortunately, Shining Armor and Cadence could not make it, so we shall inform them of what they need to know of this meeting later." At this, she took a sip of tea as her sister continued for her.
"We have spoken about it, and we believe we have come up with a suitable cover story for your work. You will be new recruits to the royal guard who have been given a special assignment. Twilight will act as a liaison between you three and us." At this, Celestia took a sip, with Luna taking over again.
"You have permission to tell the truth to the other element bearers not present at the table, as they will likely try and find out from Twilight and Pinkie here. Does this sound acceptable to all of you?"
Pete and Pinkie nodded, each swallowing a mouthful of cookie. The pair of them had almost ignored their tea in favor of the cookies. The other three ponies all nodded, with Twilight saying, "It won't be a problem, Princesses."
"Now that we have that settled, why don't you three tell us more about your world and the artifacts you work with?" Luna asked looking at the warehouse agents.
"Well," began Pete, thinking for a moment. "Artifacts are made when people do extraordinary things, or under other circumstances such as great amounts of emotion concentrated in one area. We have a wallet that belonged to a famous escape artist who would put himself into a number of dangerous situations, and get out of them alive. Then there was the dodgeball, which was actually responsible for five deaths." The equestrian natives winced at this.
"There's also a disco ball that puts on a small light show and starts playing music when activated," added Myka. "That was created in an old disco club, due to all the emotions going around in there."
As all this was being said, Celestia's face slowly changed from one of general curiosity to that of somepony who doesn't like what they're hearing. Luna also began shooting looks at Celestia that could only be described as jealous. The changes to both Princesses' facial expressions seemed to go unnoticed by the others.
“Don't forget Lewis Carroll's looking glass. That one isn't very nice, what with that demon of a girl trapped in it," stated Claudia.
Twilight looked between the agents before asking "Why is she trapped?"
Myka, Pete, and Claudia looked at each other for a moment, deciding who would answer. "Well, its like this. She killed a bunch of people, and the agents trapped her in the mirror. We're not entirely sure on all the details. Artie likes to keep us in the dark on some of these things," Pete said in response to the question.
At this point, Celestia stood up and started speaking. "I have changed my mind.You will not be allowed to hunt down the missing artifacts. Instead, that job shall fall to the guard. You three are too dangerous and will be taken to the dungeon to await sentencing."
At this point, Luna also stood up, and started using the royal canterlot voice. "No, sister, they will find their artifacts and bring them to me. You, however, shall spend a thousand years on the moon while the ponies live under my night."
Luna's form seemed to flicker for a moment, with what appeared to be Nightmare Moon. The only two who really noticed were Twilight and Pete.
Out of the corner of her eye, Claudia noticed the tea cups and teapot that the princesses had been drinking from. "Pete, does that look like what I think it looks like?"
Both Pete and Myka looked to the tea set as well. "Yeah, that looks like her tea set alright."
"Who's tea set?" asked pinkie.
"Beatrix Potter's. She was a children's author in our world. And if that is her tea set, then we've got problems." Upon seeing the expressions on Twilight's and Pinkie's faces, Myka continued. "Drinking from her tea set brings out a person's creativity, but also their darker side. When we looked at some of her original drafts of a story, the main character was a vicious killer rabbit."
Pinkie and Twilight looked shocked at this. "What can we do about it, then?" asked Twilight.
"Last time this happened, it wasn't too hard to stop once we knew what was happening. But that was also a completely different scenario," stated Claudia.
Pete and Twilight adopted expressions that seemed to indicate they were thinking.
"What about the Elements?" Twilight asked of Pete.
"Maybe," he said. "But the problem is getting the others here, since they're still in Ponyville."
"You're right. And princess Celestia has them locked up so only she can get them." Twilight sighed. "What else can we do to stop them, though?"
"Could somepony please explain what these Elements are to those of us who don't know?" Asked Claudia.
"Twilight and I will explain later, once we've dealt with the crazy princesses," replied Pete.
Celestia picked up on the crazy princess part, and turned to glare at Pete. "Who, might I ask, are you calling crazy? Because I certainly know it isn't me, is it?" she asked in a threatening manner.
Pete swallowed. "No, of course not princess Celestia. I would never think of doing such a thing."
Celestia continued to glare at him a moment, then looked away, thoughtful. Her expression slowly changed into what could only be described as a malicious grin.
"I have decided on your sentence. You will be subjected to use of the elements of harmony, for a time. After they have driven you mad, I will strip you of my camouflage spell if they don't do it for me. Once that has been done, you will be presented to my subjects as the monsters you truly are."
"No, you shall not, sister, for I will use them to banish you to the moon, as you did to me a thousand years ago!"
With glares at each other, both princesses vanished in flashes of light. Pete quickly turned to Twilight.
"Can they use the Elements without the Bearers?" he asked her.
She shook her head. "I don't think so. Princess Celestia told me that her and Princess Luna were no longer connected to the Elements when Discord returned."
Myka and Claudia looked between the two ponies. "You better explain after all this is over, because we have no idea what you're talking about," stated Myka.
Before anypony else could say anything, a bright flash announced Celestia's return. Floating around her were five necklaces and a tiara, each with a different symbol in gems on it. Celestia appeared to be quite angry and seemed to have just been shouting something.
“Looks like you were right," whispered Pete to Twilight.
Celestia's head turned to look at the table. She lowered her horn, and the tiara floated over to rest upon Twilights head as the necklace with the balloon shaped gems clasped around pinkies neck. With a slight shift of her head, Celestia was pointing her horn towards a blank wall. With a burst of light from it, four ponies materialized.
One was an orange pony with a blonde mane and tail. Her main and tail both had ribbons holding them at the end, and she wore a stetson hat. Her cutie mark was a group of three apples. To her left was a cyan colored pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, who’s cutie mark happened to be a rainbow lightning bolt coming out of a cloud. On the other side of the orange pony was a white unicorn with a purple mane and tail, and three diamonds for her cutie mark. The fourth pony was on the left of the cyan pegasus. She was also a pegasus, but yellow with a pink mane and tail. Her cutie mark happened to be three pink butterflies.
“Hey, what’s the big idea, teleporting me in the middle of a race?” asked the Cyan pegaus as she took note of her surroundings.
“Uh, Rainbow Dash, you might want to watch what you say. I think it was Princess Celestia that teleported us here,” said the orange pony, looking at the princess.
As this was going on, the necklaces that matched the four new ponies clasped around their necks. A pink butterfly for the yellow pegasus, a red lightning bolt for the pegaus identified as Rainbow Dash, and orange apple for the cowpony, and a purple diamond for the white unicorn.
As the necklaces clasped around the ponies’ necks, another flash of light announced a new arrival. Instead of Princess Luna, however, it was Nightmare Moon. Upon seeing her, the four new ponies took up what seemed like fighting stances, with Pinkie and Twilight joining them.
“Hit them both,” said Twilight, matter of factly.
“But why?” asked the yellow pegasus in a quiet voice.
“I’ll explain after, Fluttershy. Right now, we have to stop them both.”
With that, it seemed the discussion was over. The six ponies closed their eyes, and began floating upwards. After they got to a height of a few feet, twilight opened her eyes to reveal them glowing white. A moment after that, a rainbow beam shot from the Elements of Harmony, striking the princesses. When it faded, the six ponies gently touched the ground again.
Both princesses, who had been knocked to the floor, slowly got to their feet. As they did, they looked apologetically at the ponies in the room with them.
“Now, can somepony please explain to me what the hay is going on?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“It would seem that there is a lot that needs to be explained. Please, take a seat,” Princess Luna said in response to Dash’s question.
