Chapter 1: Oh Fuck Me...
Chapter 1
Oh Fuck Me…
There were many times when Rainbow Dash hated her nickname of Rainbow Crash, it was a bad reminder of days long past where she was the joke of her class – even though being a Wonderbolt added some good memories to it. But it felt oddly appropriate as she crashed through the open window of her cloud home and kicked it closed behind her. She let herself flump gracelessly into the soft and comforting embrace of her bed. She could even see the humour in it to the point where she let out a tired little chuckle. The good memories were slowly starting to outweigh the bad ones. She tossed her bag across the room to roughly where she guessed the laundry hamper was located.
Training had been hard. Spitfire had been very adamant that they be ready for the flight show in Canterlot next week. She had doubled the training regime. Dash could swear that the captain was relentless – and sometimes even wondered if she was a sadist and simply got off on putting others through endless flight drills. She chuckled softly. If the Academy had been anything to go by then she would feel comfortable betting actual bits on her suspicions being true. A grin spread on her muzzle as she imagined Spitfire sneaking off after practice to ‘attend’ to herself.
Slowly she started stripping off the little clothing she was wearing. The goggles came off first and were slung over the lamp on her night stand. She couldn’t help but giggle lightly as the thought of Spitfire secretly masturbating to the cruelty of her own drills. The sweater, and by extension the scarf she had been wearing, came off next, thrown towards the same direction as her bag. Moving was the hardest part, though the cold was a real good motivator for Dash. Shifting on the bed she pulled the thick duvet over herself, curling up for warmth, a small smile gracing her muzzle.
This was perfect. The soft, fluffy embrace of the clouds that made up her mattress did a lot to take away the soreness from training. She made a considerable effort to slowly bury herself into the cloud-stuff that made up the mattress. She could already feel the sweet warmth of the cloud and duvet trapping the warmth around her. It also helped that she found the one of the most closely guarded secrets that she had. If anypony, even her friends, found out about this her reputation would be ruined.
From deep within the cloud-stuff bed she pulled a relatively new plushie. She knew it was very common for mares – even those of her age – to still have them. But the thought of any pony knowing made her feel uncool already. And this one was special, it was one of the mare she admired from a distance. Smiling gently she pressed the midnight-blue alicorn to her chest. Lightly nuzzling into the soft, velvety fabric of the Luna plushy, not resisting the siren’s call of sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~
Floating through the star-filled void of her own realm, Luna let out a long, drawn-out sigh. She could do anything she pleased in the dreamscape, but nothing she did felt satisfying or even interesting. She hated slow nights. There were days when she was jumping from dream to dream to help ponies with their nightmares but tonight there was nothing that required her personal attention. Most of the minor issues were taken care of by a small but elite branch of her guard – one of the more interesting things that had changed during her absence. Some pony had to fill the void that she left, and Celestia couldn’t hold both day and night positions. Luna appreciated the help, she even trained the latest batch of recruits personally. But it also meant her workload was almost non-existent.
Floating there on her back, she let out another forlorn sigh. “Give me something, please…” She muttered to herself. Then she bumped her muzzle against a cyan pool that had not been there before. It was solid for the moment as it wasn’t an open portal, but the accents of rainbow colour made it hard to mistake whose dream this was.
She knew it was wrong, she knew just how illegal it was to spy on pony's dream without being invited, or them needing her help, but she could not help it. The temptation was so great. How could she not take a peek? How could she not when it was Rainbow Dash, who had such a vivid imagination, whose dreams were usually packed with action! The thought excited her very much.
Bringing her horn to the portal, she opened it with a simple application of magic. Staring into the swirling rainbow pool, she stood there considering her actions. Rainbow Dash was a friend. But she knew the mare would have a very interesting dream. She stared agonisingly at the portal before turning around shaking her head firmly. “No. We should not.” She stated firmly to herself.
Taking one tentative step, followed by another, she paused again and looked over her shoulder at the inviting portal. Letting out a gentle whine, she closed her eyes firmly and shook her head. This was such a bad idea. But before she even knew it, she had made a one-eighty and leaped through the portal without any regard for where she might end up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~
Blinking her eyes repeatedly, Luna couldn’t help but be amazed at where she found herself. She had been expecting something from a Daring Do novel. Instead, she got what looked to be a lavish cloud palace of old. From the time before unification. It wasn’t an unpleasant sight – in fact it was a rather grandiose sight to behold, even more so than Canterlot Castle. Her sister had been very modest in the design of their current home. Taking in the Gothic-style vaulted ceiling and the polished marble floor below her, she sighed softly, just the tiniest embers of envy welling up inside of her.
The strangest thing that she noticed about the entire affair was that there was no pony actually there. The place was completely deserted. If it wasn’t for the ability to sense just where the dreamer was, Luna would be utterly lost and confused at this point. Slowly she walked along the central path over the plush carpet. To her left and right she saw portraits of ancient pegasus heroes, most prominent among them was Commander Hurricane who even had a statue of marble set in a small alcove near the grand staircase.
Ascending the staircase Luna paused mid step. She was looking at a portrait of herself. Normally that would not be a surprise but the fact that she was wrapped in the large wing of Rainbow Dash was quite out of the norm of how she was normally portrayed. The cyan pegasus with her rainbow-coloured mane was wearing a set of ancient armour, save for its helmet. “That is… interesting.” She commented under her breath before continuing onward, up the stairs and towards the sound of very soft music.
Slowly, she stalked towards the door at the end of the hall. There seemed to barely be any light coming from the inside of the room along with the gentle, dulcet tones of classical music. That was what finally made Luna nervous. This wasn’t the action-packed dream she had been hoping for. By the sounds, it was the exact opposite.
Arriving at the door, she could peek through the crack. The room itself was what looked to be a master bedroom, although placed really oddly by any conventional logic. The transition from Gothic-style architecture to what looked to be more of a royal suite in the Griffon Empire was harsh. The floor was carpeted thickly with faux furs and pillows aplenty. She could see that some places were showing a dark wooden floor. The walls were dark stone, which was very reminiscent of the griffon capital’s castle she was familiar with, though the walls were decorated with portraits and drapes showing the Equestrian flag.
It was then that Luna’s eyes settled on the middle of the room. It took her all the willpower not to gasp, or even make a sound as she watched Rainbow Dash and—herself! She was seeing herself laying in the embrace of one of her friends. Her cheeks flushed deeply as she finally realised what she had stumbled into, her conscience was telling her to leave, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the couple.
Rainbow Dash smiled tenderly as her wing slowly stroked up and down Luna’s side. “I am so happy we decided to have our little retreat here.” Her voice was a gentle purr. “It is good to be away from the palace, to relax finally with you in my arms, my beloved.” A happy smile spread across her muzzle as she pinched a grape between her primaries and lightly pressed it to Luna’s muzzle, giggling as the alicorn playfully accepted it with a slow nip and lick to the feathers.
“Indeed, ‘tis nice to be away. From the capital, from politics—from being Princess and Captain.” Luna grinned a little, rolling over to face Rainbow Dash, wrapping her hooves around her neck slowly, pulling her into a sweet and chaste kiss. “Having you all to myself, where we don’t need to pretend.”
Dash nodded slowly. “Yeah, you deserve it, my angel. I know you have been under a lot of stress and this little trip is for you.” She smiled slowly, letting a hoof trail down Luna’s back. Pressing down between the wing joints, slowly rolling in a lazy but effective massage. More importantly, it was a very intimate gesture between pegasi. “I love you, Luna. My moonshine, my starlight, the light of my life.”
“I love you too, Dashie.” The dream Luna cooed softly, blushing deeply. “You are my everything, my rainbow. Without you I do not think I could keep going everyday.” She slowly pulled the smaller mare on top of herself with a sly little grin. “Sneaking off to watch you train the troops, seeing you in uniform, seeing that grin. It always brightens up my day.” Dream Luna would likely have said more but Rainbow Dash silenced her with a sweet and loving kiss.
Luna gasped out loudly at what she saw. For a long moment, her brain simply couldn’t process the scene before her. It was her, and Rainbow ‘too cool for romance’ Dash. Together. As a couple!? More importantly, they were kissing and flirting in what Luna could only describe as the most adorable way ever. It wasn’t what Luna had expected. She had always thought that Rainbow Dash would be aggressive in her affections, the way she had read about in the less than reputable novels in her collection.
Slowly she took a step back, only to cry out in alarm as she placed her hoof awkwardly and tumbled forwards through the open door. She closed her eyes firmly as if that was going to help her. As if closing her eyes would take away the humiliation of being caught spying on a pony she considered a friend. She hardly even noticed the fact that she bit her own cheek. It was only the faint coppery taste of blood that filled her mouth soon after. She was doomed and she knew it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~
The room was silent for a long moment after the door had slammed open. The loud thud still echoed in the room and the hallway behind Princess Luna. Rainbow Dash sat half up in alarm, staring in stunned silence at the Princess of the Night. The real one. Who was now looking deeply ashamed of herself and couldn’t bring herself to meet Dash’s eyes. Her dark cyan eyes downcast finding a great interest in the faux fur on the floor and the comfortable looking pillows that were scattered about. As if contemplating the act of suffocating herself with one of the pillows.
Neither of them spoke for a very long time, it seemed almost a torturous eternity of silence to Rainbow Dash. She could feel her cheeks getting hotter and hotter as she stared at the real Luna, realising what the real Luna had seen. Not only was it apparent she fantasised about her, but she knew now! She knew how sappy she really was! The dream walking mare whose dream version she still had cradled in her hooves, her wing still holding the grapes that she had been meaning to feed the dream Princess. Instead, she sat there gaping at the real thing. She was taller than the fantasy version her mind had conjured up for the dream. She was infinitely more beautiful in person.
“P-Princess Luna!? W-what are you—this is not what it looks like!” Rainbow Dash cried out in shock and horror. “P-please I can explain!”
“I am sorry! I did not mean to intrude! I will leave you to your fantasy, bye!” she blurted out, and before Dash could say anything else, she was gone with the telltale flash and pop of teleportation magic, leaving Rainbow Dash alone with a very confused-looking dream Luna pressed snuggly against her chest.
“Oh fuck me sideways….”