Rock and a Hard Place
Starlight Glimmer stared at the rock in Maud Pie’s grip with jaw-dropped fascination and wonder.
“Boulder,” Starlight beamed, gripping Maud’s hoof to take a closer look at the pet rock, “That was awesome!”
“No,” Maud droned, “That was sandstone.” She pocketed Boulder before Starlight could get any more peeks.
Still thinking about the little guy, Starlight glanced aside at the gaping hole in the ground. “More sand than stone, apparently,” she remarked absentmindedly. She glanced quietly at the part of Maud’s frock which she hid Boulder in before she was startled by the sudden presence of Pinkie Pie between the two ponies.
But her mind was on the rock that had saved their hides.
“So you’ve been with Boulder… how long?” Starlight asked, smiling warmly down at the pet rock. Having seated herself across from Maud in her dazzling gem cave home, the two had started conversing, and in the center of it all was Maud’s pet rock.
Maud blinked at Starlight before slowly casting her gaze down at the small round rock. “I met him sometime before I started my studies and after Pinkie moved to Ponyville,” she deadpanned. “I found him all alone at the fringes of our rock farm one day. He seemed very lonely, so I decided he could use some company.”
“Wow,” Starlight murmured, folding her hooves on the table and resting her head on them. Gazing intently at him, she sighed. “You started out just like me, huh? All alone and uncertain of the future… and just like me, you found a friend in Maud!” Starlight giggled. “And now… me. Good first impression, saving our flanks at first, hm?”
The rock lay still in the center of the table.
Maud remained stagnant.
Starlight raised an eyebrow.
“Was it true he thought you should come back to be friends with me?” Starlight asked Maud.
Maud glanced between Boulder and Starlight. “Mmm… yes. For one reason or another, he really likes you.”
Starlight gasped, eyes twinkling as she turned her eyes back to the pet boulder. “Really?” Smirking, she bumped Boulder gently. “Oh, you flirt, you!”
The rock wibbled and wobbled a few centimetres across the table.
“Oh no,” Starlight winced, “You okay there, buddy?”
Boulder stopped shaking.
Watching him carefully, Maud blinked. “He’s fine,” Maud said. “He says that that was nothing compared to the volcanoes he had formed from.”
“Oh.” Starlight nodded. “So, you’re nice, heroic, and sturdy. What a nice friend.”
“I don’t know where I’d be without him,” Maud droned.
“Maybe we can hang out some more later, hm?” Starlight moved her muzzle closer to the rock. “Whaddya think, Maud?”
Maud’s eyes moved a fraction of a fraction in a squinting motion, before returning to normal. “Hm… he says he’d be delighted. That’s interesting.”
“What is?”
Maud looked at the two.
“...It’s nothing.”
“You okay there on my back, Boulder?” Starlight asked, craning her neck around to smile at the rock perched on her. “I just figured you wouldn’t like being floated around with magic after having travelled around with an earth pony all these years.”
The rock shook with each step Starlight took. Otherwise…
Nothing.
Starlight nodded, facing back to one particular building in her path. “Oh, you’re such a gentlerock, Boulder. I’m sure you’re just saying that to be nice to me.”
Continuing her trot forward, she smiled at the looming colourful building in front of her. “So you’ve already guessed where we’re going, eh? Sugarcube Corner! Where we’ll see a very familiar face. One you know, I’m sure.”
Starlight could almost feel the rock jump as she trotted up the stairs into the establishment.
“Don’t worry,” Starlight giggled, laughing at Boulder’s comment. “I’m kinda iffy about her too.”
Walking up to the counter, she looked over at the other current patrons of Sugarcube Corner and grinned, knowing this was just the place for a proper date-
“Hiya, Starlight!” Pinkie exclaimed, jumping up from behind the counter with a chef’s apron and a toque blanche. With a few smudges of flour powdered over her muzzle, she leaned on the glass display of goodies, smiling at Starlight.
Starlight felt her skin jump in place at her sudden appearance, and Boulder seemed to feel the same way. “Waugh!” cried Starlight, before placing a hoof over her chest and breathing deeply. “Pinkie, seriously, you need to calm down with the whole ‘surprising ponies by suddenly appearing’.”
“Sorry,” Pinkie pouted, “I can’t help it!” Poofing back to normal, Pinkie grinned at them. “So! What can I do for you…” Pinkie blinked, before stretching her neck to the side and looking at Starlight’s back. “...and your plus one?”
Starlight’s face flushed at the phrase, before she suddenly realised. Mouthing an “oh”, she carefully slid Boulder onto a hoof and placed him on the counter. “Hey, Boulder, say hi to Pinkie!”
Silence.
“Hi to you too, Boulder!” Pinkie greeted, waving a hoof spastically as she brought her eyes right up against it. “How are you?”
Nothing.
Both Starlight and Pinkie laughed. “That’s great, Boulder,” Pinkie grinned. With a nod, she looked both of them in the eyes. “Alrighty tighty! Looks like I’ll get you your favourite milkshake, and Boulder’s favourite treat.” Waving a hoof across the air, Pinkie said “Find a seat, it’ll be a moment!” With that, she slinked back into the depths of the bakery, already whipping up their servings. Donning a bright smile, Starlight gently placed Boulder in the frog of her hoof before trotting over to an empty table.
“Here ya go, little guy.” Starlight shone with happiness. “Looks like it’s our -ahem- first date together, huh?”
No response.
Starlight’s cheeks slowly went rosy, before she fidgeted. “But of course, Maud doesn’t need to know we’re on a date. Just… that we’re hanging out, per se, yes?”
Boulder came to a gentle stop from Starlight’s placement.
“Oh, thanks so much, Boulder!” Starlight beamed, seating herself across from him. “You don’t know how much that means to me!”
The distant sound of other conversations filled the air.
“Oh?” Starlight smirked. “You think you do have an idea of how much this means to me?” She set her forelegs on the table and propped her head atop of them.
The rock wobbled.
“Well then,” Starlight whispered, bringing Boulder a little closer. “Maybe after this, we can go out together to study a little bit, and then watch the sunset…”
Boulder sat still as a rock.
“Oh my,” Starlight said, cheeks suddenly blazing. “B-Boulder, we’ve just started!”
Nothing.
Starlight fanned herself, shaking her head. “No, I’m okay, but you can’t just say things like that out in the open either!”
The sound of hooves getting closer remained as white noise.
“You know what, I might have to tell Maud on you.”
“...”
“I will and you know it!” Starlight humphed with folded hooves, before smiling. “Okay, fine, not really, but I got you there!”
“...”
“You’re actually really funny, Boulder,” Starlight commented, “I honestly don’t get why more ponies understand you or Maud. You’re both absolutely hilarious!” Starlight slapped a knee. “Ha!”
Pinkie Pie walked up to them with two items on a silver platter. “For the mademoiselle with impeccable taste…” Pinkie placed a milkshake in front of Starlight, “The mint-swirl choco-tastic deluxe! And for the handsome specimen of magnesium rich basalt…” She placed a powder-filled round edged bowl beside Boulder, “Scorched ash imported from Mount Vehoovius!”
Boulder had jumped from the bowl impacting against the table.
“Wow, Boulder.” Starlight watched with fascination. “That’s the happiest I’ve seen you yet!”
“It reminds him of home,” Pinkie shrugged with an epic grin, “But he usually isn’t this happy when I serve it to him. Must be a special occasion!” Tapping her chin with a hoof and looking at the duo in thought, she smiled. “You know what, it’s on the house. No exceptions!” With that, Pinkie had disappeared.
Boulder wobbled from the dash of air.
“I know!” Starlight remarked, now drinking her milkshake heartily. “With that kind of attitude, she really would be a good Element of Generosity!:
Boulder stopped shaking.
Starlight sputtered on her drink.
“Bleaughkle!” Starlight coughed, hitting her chest to get the stuff out. “Blagh!”
Boulder had somehow jumped into his bowl, but that wasn’t what shook Starlight.
With an embarrassed blush, Starlight recovered. “I’m flattered, Boulder. Thanks for that. At least somerock thinks I would be a good Element of something.”
And they sat there for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Boulder somehow rolled within all the ash in the bowl, while Starlight sipped up her milkshake. There they stayed, contentedly sharing glances with each other as they finished relishing their respective treats.
“Heeheeheehee!” Starlight giggled. “Hahahahaha!”
Boulder sat beside her on a log on top of a hill as they both watched the sun setting over the rooftops of Ponyville.
“Hahah!” Starlight laughed, “Now that is funny.”
Boulder wobbled on his perch.
“Oh, come on, Boulder,” Starlight smiled, “Give yourself more credit! You -er- rock, for lack of better term, eheheh… But seriously.”
The rock tilted as the soft breeze blew Starlight’s mane across her face.
Brushing her bangs back, she stared deep into the sun’s golden rays, its light piercing the evening skies with millions of hues of picture perfect colours. “You know… I haven’t connected with somepony- er- somerock so quickly since… s-since Sunburst… and he’s a great friend but… it just isn’t the same anymore. Not with him. I love him as a friend, but nothing more. You, though?”
Boulder said nothing.
With her eyes beginning to blur, Starlight sniffled. “Heh, and I can’t believe I’ve been talking to a rock the whole time.”
“...”
Wiping her eyes, she could feel her lips quiver. “You know, maybe it’s just me… but you really know how to listen, Boulder.” Starlight picked him up, held him with two hooves, and looked him close in his grainy sturdy texture. “A-and… you’re the best rock I could’ve ever met. As first dates go… you’re great! I see why Maud likes you so much...”
As the sun let its final breaths of light breeze over the valleys of Equestria, Starlight curtly smiled as she let her eyes close and sense the form of Boulder getting closer to her lips. She could almost smell his igneous-ness, the way the ash scented him like a volcanic valley of mountain flowers… and she could almost taste the minerals breezing through the air. With an anticipating inhale, she moved closer…
“And I can see why Boulder likes you so much too,” a voice murmured from behind her.
Starlight’s eyes flew open as she flailed forward, clutching Boulder tightly. “Gah!” Floofing onto her belly, Starlight raised her hooves so Boulder did not touch the ground.
“Boulder?!” Starlight asked a little frantically. “Are you okay!?”
“...”
“Thank goodness,” Maud and Starlight said at the same time.
Starlight quickly gathered her bearings and stood on all threes, holding Boulder to her chest with her remaining fourth limb.
“S-sorry, Maud, I -uh- didn’t see you there. Uh, er, forgive me, Boulder and I were just, uh… we were j-just-”
Maud Pie stared Starlight in the eyes with her half-lidded carelessness and rested a hoof on her shoulder, stopping her nervous titter. “Starlight, it’s okay. I’ve had my time with Boulder, and it’s obvious he’s been wanting somepony other than me hang around.”
Starlight could feel the heat rising to her face. “M-Maud! No, it’s nothing like that! I-I-I...”
Maud nodded, placing her hoof over the one Starlight was holding Boulder in. “You’re my friend, Starlight. My new, best friend. I completely understand. No talk about feelings, remember,” Maud deadpanned. Pulling Starlight’s hoof out, she crouched her head to be at eye level with the rock.
“You behave, okay?” Maud said to Boulder. The pet rock wobbled in their shaky grips. With the lightest of twinkles shining her eyes, Maud pushed the hoof back to Starlight.
“I approve,” was all she finally said before turning around at a snail’s pace. Starlight watched, breathless, as Maud slowly disappeared behind the crest of the hill.
Smiling, Starlight held out Boulder once more and felt her face stretch in a teary grin. “Hey again.”
“...”
“Right,” Starlight sniffled with a laugh, and she finally lifted the rock to her lips, slowly, assuredly.
The vestiges of the sun illuminated the two before it dipped below the horizon, allowing the last glows of the sky to continue to light the world before finally leaving the stars behind. Letting the moment pass, Starlight and Boulder settled down with a blanket, staring up at the night skies.
And beneath the moon, Starlight hugged Boulder close as they lay on their backs stargazing, relishing her newfound love.