AKA: Spike's Awkward Night
Snow may have been falling in full force all over the Frozen North, but none of that could even be thought about within the warm and comforting confines of the Crystal Empire. As Luna’s night was displayed in its full beauty in the skies above, almost everypony from the city was gathered in the main courtyard of the palace for the Empire’s annual Dinner Formal. Dozens upon dozens of long tables were situated about, allowing ponies from all over Equestria and beyond to sit alongside one another and celebrate a night of friendship and unity. The event has always been popular since the Empire's re-emergence away from King Sombra, but tonight’s formal was especially special because of some special guests; along with all the members of the Royal Families, as well as most of the most prominent figures in Equestria, this year’s dinner formal was being attended by the newest member of Royalty from another region: King Thorax of the Changeling Kingdom.
Despite some awkward scuffles the first time he arrived in this city, Thorax was absolutely elated to be welcomed into the Crystal Empire with open hooves. Due to the loving support from his best friend Spike, as well as his own efforts to help defeat the former Queen Chrysalis, the newly-crowned King was given the chance to present a speech before everypony about how powerful and loving friendship really was. Even though he was worried there would still be some opposition, or at least a little uneasiness, it was hard for Thorax not to cry when he was given a standing ovation and applause afterward. And as a loving bonus, Spike himself decided to respond to the King’s speech with a gift of his own: the same song that he sung to help welcome Thorax into Equestria in the first place.
“... But if day can turn to night, and the darkness turn to light…”
With the familiar instrumentals playing from the band nearby, Spike had his eyes closed while finishing his song. Thorax stood nearby with a touched smile and tears welling in his uniquely-colored eyes. Everypony else were either bobbing their heads to the soft melody, or just smiling while the drake finished his touching tune:
“... Then why can't we imagine, a changeling can... chaaaaaaaaaange?”
As soon as the song was finished, Thorax went in to hug Spike tightly before the thundering applause was even close to stopping. Twilight, who was sitting at the main table alongside her friends and Princess Cadance, had to wipe her eyes with a tissue at seeing such a strong bond of friendship. When the applause began to die down, Shining Armor trotted onto the stage with a clap of his hoof while a microphone was in his magic aura. “Alright, alright,” cheered the Prince enthusiastically as he looked between the crowd and Spike. “I think I can say for all of us that you certainly gave a great gift. Thank you, Spike.”
“Awww, it’s nothing,” said Spike bashfully after letting go of Thorax. Even though his cheeks were blushed, the dragon felt brave enough to add up towards Shining with a smirk, “And thank you for not glaring at me while I sang it this time!”
Shining blushed and lowered his ears at hearing most of the crystal ponies laughing at that little joke. The Prince felt a little embarrassed at being reminded of his previous feelings about Thorax, but he was still able to shrug and smile back at Spike for the King’s sake. “Yeah, whatever,” he said while ruffling the green scales on top of the drake’s head. “You little rascal, you~”
Spike giggled at that teasing remark, but was quickly back by Thorax’s side with a light pull of his suit from the smiling changeling. As the two went off the stage side-by-side, Shining turned to the audience and said through his mic, “Okay everypony, we’ve just been informed that the main course is ready, so everypony enjoy!”
The audience cheered happily while Shining went back to his seat next to his wife, just as the servers began floating out hundreds of plates among the party’s attendees. Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle sighed happily after taking a sip of her wine. “Man, can you guys believe it?” she asked towards her friends and Sister-In-Law. “I mean, who would’ve guessed that Spike would carry such a close bond with someone like Thorax?”
“I know, right?” replied Rainbow Dash with a smile and a shake of her head. “But still, I’m just glad he’s hanging out with other guys for a change!”
“Well, it’s not like there’s anything wrong with befriending mares,” noted Rarity pertly towards her friend. “Spike is a great companion regardless of gender.”
“Eh, that may be true,” said Applejack with a shrug of her head, “but Dash kinda has a point too. Ah remember Spike was in a bit of a rut after Mac started goin’ out with Sugarbelle so much. Ah think he needed a new buddy who wasn’t so girly.”
“Hey, what about me?!” asked Shining with an offended expression while looking past his wife towards them.
“I think she means a friend who’s available more often than you, Hon,” said Cadance before giving her husband a peck on the cheek. “Spike and Thorax are frequent pen-pals, after all.”
Shining sighed with his ears drooped as he pouted, “Well, it’s not like I’m girly or anything.”
Cadance and the others all giggled at Shining’s remark, none of them overhearing the faint rustling that was coming from over the speakers. But before any of them could actually get to their delicious-looking meals, a faint voice was echoing across the courtyard that made most of the attendees pause briefly. Twilight lifted her head up with her ears twitching, realizing that the tinned-sounding voice was of Spike’s.
“... hey, come on. You saw how much those ponies applauded you, right? Your speech was great, Thorax.”
Twilight gasped in surprise, realizing alongside her friends that the drake’s microphone was still on and attached to his suit. While the Alicorn’s eyes widened in slight worry, Applejack stifled a small snicker from escaping her muzzle. “Ho boy,” muttered the orange mare with a shake of her head. “Looks like Spike shouldn’t have gotten the wireless mic.”
“Yeah!” piped Pinkie with a giggle of her own. “I hope he doesn’t go to the bathroom or anything!”
Twilight quickly got out of her seat and said, “Well, I better find Spike and tell--”
“You really think so?” asked Thorax, whose voice was just as audible as Spike’s over the speakers. “I mean, I was a little worried I would start droning on or say too much.”
“What are you talking about? You were fine, dude!”
“I know, but… part of me felt like telling them about, you know…”
“What do you… Oh…”
Upon hearing Spike’s pause, most of the courtyard turned silent as they listened in on their not-so-private discussion. Even Twilight Sparkle stopped in her tracks as she was halfway towards the castle where she saw the two trot off to. But since she was right beside one of the hanging speakers, the Princess couldn’t avoid hearing Spike say cautiously, “You mean about… us?”
Quite a few eyes widened at hearing that one word, along with a couple faint gasps at what they were assuming was meant by it. Of course, that reaction multiplied after Thorax’s voice was heard replying, “Well… yeah. I mean, I know you didn’t want them to know tonight and steal the event’s thunder, and I completely understand that. But I at least want to tell your friends that we’re together.”
“Don’t worry, I promise I’ll tell them soon. My birthday is coming up anyway, so it’d be nice to introduce you as my boyfriend then. But for now, let’s just appreciate knowing ourselves, okay? Besides, it's nice having you to myself as a little secret. You're like a special little gift just for me~”
Due to everyone being frozen as they listened in, nopony seemed to try and interrupt the conversation or its feed. In fact, a few of the crystal ponies seemed downright touched as they heard Thorax sigh and say lovingly, “Well… alright, Spikey. I’ll do that for you. Because I love you.”
Twilight gasped with a hoof over her mouth, and the speakers were briefly overshadowed by the round of “Awwwwwws” that swept across the courtyard. Spike was then heard giggling before replying in an equally sweet voice, “Daww… I love you too, Thorax~”
The attendees of the formal then heard a low hum from the two voices, clearly indicating that Spike and Thorax were kissing sweetly. While most of the ponies were dawwing or holding each other with smiles, Shining, despite looking happy for the drake, still groaned and subtly slid twenty bits towards his grinning wife. Pinkie Pie was giggling with a blush while Applejack and Rainbow Dash paid up too. Meanwhile, Rarity just sat frozen with her mouth slightly agape in surprise.
“Awwww,” cooed Fluttershy as she looked up at the speakers with a warm smile. “I’m so happy for Spike and Tho--”
“Mmmmm…” Smek… schlp schlp… “Mmnnnnng~” smek smek…
As the sounds of Spike and Thorax’s kiss grew wetter, the touched dawws from the ponies listening in began to die down. Spike could be heard moaning out a little between the slurping sounds of his lips caressing against the changeling’s. Wet schlicks started to follow, which began to make many of the listeners widen their eyes at the mental images going through their heads. Between the hungry moans of both Spike and Thorax droning in over the speakers, it seemed that their unexpectedly public makeout session might cause some appetites to be diminished if it went on for too long. Twilight grimaced at the sounds of her assistant/brother/son undoubtedly slipping the tongue to the Changeling King, and shouted back at her brother before running off, “Shining, turn off the speakers, NOW!”
Shining and Cadance quickly got out of their seats, but it soon became clear that it wouldn’t be easy to stop Spike and Thorax’s increasingly awkward encounter from being heard across the courtyard. The speakers were connected to a wireless source of magic, which was at the complete other side of the castle. So while Royalty and members of the castle staff began running around frantically, Twilight’s friends and the rest of the attendees could only sit in uncomfortable silence as they heard the drake moan out from his mic.
“Mmmmnnngggg~ Oh Thorax, you’re so hot~” Smek Smek… Schlep~
“Nnnnn, so are you, my naughty little slut~”
The entire courtyard gasped in shock, not expecting King Thorax to say such a thing towards the Crystal Empire’s hero. Unfortunately, the conversation only got lewder while staff were shouting at one another to find some way to stop it.
“Ooooohhh… Someone’s getting antsy, isn’t he?~”
“Hey, you’re the one who started it with all that teasing earlier….” Schep Schlep… “It was like you were wanting me to rip that cute little tux off of you.”
“Mmmnng… It wouldn’t be the first time you ripped something off of me. Remember?~”
“Mmhmmm…” Smek Smek… “Man, I wish you were wearing Twilight’s panties again~”
Up to that point, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were trying their hardest not to laugh at what they were hearing. However, that last statement made the two, as well as Pinkie Pie, fall out of their chairs while cracking up. Fluttershy and her hooves over her mouth with her face violently red, which was a huge contrast to Rarity’s wide-eyed, pale-faced stare off into nothing. Meanwhile, Princess Cadance had to stop for a second to fan her blushed face. “Oh, wow~”
“Don’t worry, I packed a few of her pairs with me,” moaned Spike, who somehow still wasn’t found by Twilight while talking naughtily with Thorax. “Mmmm…” Smek Smek... “Come on, big boy~ My room's nearby, and I got that rope you can tie me up with too~”
“Nnnnggg~ I can’t wait!” After that heated moan from the changeling, the shocked attendees heard a bunch of rustling, along with a door opening and slamming shut. That was then followed by a lustful growl as Thorax purred, “You better hope you don’t have to walk much tomorrow, because your slutty little tailhole is mine~”
By now, the entire courtyard was rumbling with the sounds of the party-goers either gasping in appalled shock, or laughing in hysterics. But despite how prominent those noises were, those speakers were still on and broadcasting the sounds of Spike’s heated moans. “Y-You… You say that like it’s a bad thing, you big stud~”
That reply was followed by more rustling against the mic, and then a light thud as Spike’s jacket was most-likely pulled off of him. Nopony had any idea where the two actually were, but the sounds of their moans and sloppy makeout session were more prominently echoed now. However, the slight change in audio quality didn’t keep any of the stunned listeners from hearing their sultry words to one another.
“Nnnnn… You have the lube?”
“I always have it for you~”
“Good~ I’m not sure how long we have before ponies try looking for us.”
“Oh, don’t worry. These--Mmmmmmm~... Th-These Crystal Ponies love me. They won’t question if I’m a little late.”
“Alright… Mmnnng... Gods, you look so hot bent over like that~”
“Unnnfff… Only for the best~”
More grunting and soft moans were amplified over the speakers, overshadowing all the laughter and shocked murmurs coming from the Empire listening in on them. Even though Spike’s friends were still giggling and cringing at the second-hoof embarrassment, most of them were also blushing a little as they heard how pent-up the two’s statements were getting. I may have been unbelievably awkward to hear a borderline pornographic scene during a large formal event, but it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if a large portion of the patrons were biting their lips in enjoyment at what they were hearing.
“C-Come on, you big tease... give it to me like a real King~”
“Oooohhhh, now who’s acting all antsy?~”
“Mmmmnggg, Th-Thorax, come on! Please~”
“Hhhhmmm… Does my little drake want anything special tonight?~”
“Uhhh… S-Special?”
“You know what I mean, Spikey…”
“Oh… You… You’re okay with that?”
“Mmhmm~ Besides, it might be fun to try it out so close to the real one~”
“W-Well, alright… If you wanna do it, then… go for it~”
A heavy fwooshing noise swept through the speakers in less than a second, before a new and very familiar voice came out:
“... Is Spikey ready for his Big Brother?~”
The entire courtyard erupted in roars of laughter, almost leaving Spike’s reply unheard from the hysterical and shocked listeners. “Oooh, I’m always ready for you, Shining~”
“Nnnngggg, good… Because I’m gonna rut you harder than my wife, you little dragon whore~”
“Oooohhh~ Y-Yeah, give it to me!~”
By that point, the real Shining Armor had come back to the courtyard to find Cadance. But after hearing his own voice saying such randy things towards a horny Spike, the Prince was left completely speechless with his mouth dropped and his pupils shrank to the size of pins. Meanwhile, his wife was laying on the ground and laughing uncontrollably. As the sounds of hearty moans and lewd schlicks intensified through the microphone in Spike’s jacket, Shining’s left eye twitched as a heavy blush exploded across his face.
“Oh, Spikey… You… You’re so bucking tight…”
“Mmmmm, yeahhhh… Nnfff! Give me a sec… D-Did you make it bigger since last time?”
“Hey, you’re the size queen, remember? With how much I’ve been stretching you out, I should just use my hoof and make you my puppet!”
“Heh heh heh… Honestly, that would be kinda hot~”
“Oh my gosh,” muttered Rarity with great disdain as she planted her hooves over her stunned face. While she and Fluttershy sat with mortified looks in regards to what Spike was being caught saying, the rest of their friends were just cracking up like hyenas. Even louder arguments could be heard from the staff desperately trying to cut the broadcast, but the uproar of shock and hilarity from the crowd pretty much proved that the damage was already done. Before any drastic measures could be done to stop the drake’s feed, the speakers continued to broadcast Spike and “Shining’s” heated words.
“Mmmm… You ready for your big brother, Spikie?~ Maybe I can put a baby in you too~”
“Oh, yeahhhh… H-Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t by now~”
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
“GYAAAA!!”
“OWWW!!! Spike, you’re clenching, you’re clenching!”
“Sorry, sorry! Uhhh... It’s occupied!”
“SPIKE, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!!!”
“... Uhhhhhhh… J-Just a sec, Twilight!”
“Y-Yeah, ummmm… S-Spike was--”
“Dude, the voice!”
“OH! O-One sec…”
FWOOSH!
“GAAAHHHHH!!! That burns!”
“SORRY!! I’m sorry, ummm… Don’t worry, P-Princess, Spike was helping get a stain out of my coat!”
“Yeah! He, uhhh… he spilled some wine, an--”
“SPIKE, YOU HAVE YOUR MICROPHONE ON!!! WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU!!!”
…
“... what?” “What?!”
After that faint, and very scared-sounding response from both of them at the same time, the attendees were trying to settle down their laughter as they heard a lot of hushed whispers and grunts through the speakers. They then heard a lot of muffled rustling, which was undoubtedly Spike picking up his jacket.
“... OH SHI--”
A distinct click was heard to stop that expletive, followed by a deafening silence that swept across the courtyard. After less than two seconds, everypony at the Dinner Formal bursted out laughing. Even Rarity and Fluttershy couldn’t help giggling guiltily at how Spike and Thorax’s moment was ended. Meanwhile, Cadance was laughing with a hoof over her mouth as she stood by her husband, who was still shell-shocked by the things he heard his voice and his adopted brother say before all of the Crystal Empire. The pink Princess wrapped a hoof around Shining’s shoulder before whispering cheekily into his ear, “I told you he had a thing for you~”
One Month Later
Even though he wasn’t expecting anything special when he visited Twilight Sparkle’s castle, King Thorax was a little saddened that the Alicorn was still giving him the cold shoulder. Although to be fair, her knowledge of his and Spike’s relationship involving her undergarments may have been a fair reason to be crabby. Plus, knowing that the King shape-shifted as her brother probably didn’t help either. Nevertheless, the changeling silently rushed past the brooding Princess to go upstairs and check on his mate.
Unfortunately, the inside of Spike’s bedroom was an absolute mess since that Dinner Formal fiasco. Piles of unwashed plates and empty food boxes were strewn about the messy floor, although it was hard to tell due to the thick curtains that were over the windows to envelop the room in darkness. The only source of illumination was a skewed lamp by Spike’s bed, helping Thorax to see the shape of the depressed drake underneath the thick covers. Next to Spike’s lump on the bed, a newspaper from the Crystal Empire Enquirer was strewn out with its front page showing a badly-edited photo of Spike wearing a collar and leash next to Thorax’s grinning face. The headline above read in bold letters:
Spike the Brave and Glorious: Now King Thorax’s Boy-Toy
Thorax winced uncomfortably, hating that the Crystal Empire was still mocking Spike for their relationship being publicized in the worst possible way. Despite all that the dragon did for their Empire, now he just seemed like the butt of everypony’s joke because of the things he said. Even Shining Armor couldn’t look Spike or Thorax in the face anymore, although that wasn’t something either of them could blame the Prince for. After the changeling sighed painfully and put the newspaper down, he heard Spike groan in a saddened tone in his blanket cocoon.
Thorax tried to cheer him up by placing a hoof over the drake’s form and saying sweetly, “Hey, Spikey?”
“Mrrrrrghhh… What?” muttered Spike through the blanket.
“... You know, I’m alright with being your Boy Toy~”
“SHUT UP, THORAX!!!”