AGIG is a covert government agency in Equestria AU 41.32295 covering everything from internal affairs, to forget relations, to intergalactic relations. Here are some of their top secret documents that got leaked.
AGIG (Autonomous Generic Intelligence Gang) is a covert government agency in Equestria AU 41.32295. They exist outside even the jurisdiction of the Royal Sisters. They assist with anything from internal affairs, to foreign relations, to intergalactic relations. The public would never know of their existence. Here are some of their top secret files leaked to the public.
These files exist with in the canon of ComicSansPony's mlp comic review show "My 2Bits". Knowledge of that series is not needed in order to read this story, but it is highly suggested.
This is co-authord by ComicSansPony and Coolman Stan
Attn: all current members of The Equestrian Intelligence Bureau (EIB), The Hoof in Kindness and Friendship Department (HiKFaD), and The Interstellar Contact Corps (ICC),
Not many of you know me, I am Three Ring. I’m writing you this memo to address concerns relating to the news of our three agencies combining into one. The Princess believes that all of us were working to a common goal, that of peace, security, and prosperity for the great nation of Equestria. To that end we were often working on combined projects. Some more than others as the ICC was just founded a short six months ago. Still she saw that our organizations had to deal with a lot of red tape when working with one another, and I’m not talking about Red Tape of the ethics committee of the EIB. So Celestia believed that combining our great organizations would better streamline our projects and partnerships.
She decreed in a confidential meeting last Wednesday that the three organizations are to be dissolved effective immediately. We are to form a new unified organization under the name of AGIG, or Autonomous Generic Intelligence Gang, and I was hoof selected as the pony to lead. As the name suggest we will work outside of normal government procedures. Per the princess's orders we no longer report to her, but can opt to keep her in the loop if necessary.
The new name also possesses a double purpose. I am well aware that may of you possess special talents in a varying forms of art or entertainment. You were recruited for your abilities to think outside the box and problem solve. Most of you kept the more likely talent oriented job as your cover identities. The name AGIG now helps in maintaining that cover as those not in the loop will think you are saying “a gig”.
I hope to see you all bright and early tomorrow for our first formal briefing in our new HQ in Manehatten Harbor. The specific location will be given through a more secure form of communication.
Agent: Coolman Stan Codename: Blue Wing Reason for Confession: Fraternizing with the enemy Statement:
Hello, My name is Coolman Stan, agent number *redacted*. I'm Reluctant to tell you how this particular event transpired, so I'm taking it in full faith that the writing here will be kept completely confidential.
Lets start with the events proceeding this one, just so you can have some context for what happened. I was on a mission to capture Cloaked Dagger for reasons pertaining to *redacted*. I was picked for this job because one I was the top agent at the time, and two I had very little involvement with her up to this point. This was a simple capture mission, in and out. The target knew of me but I knew a lot more about her. I knew if I just let her talk I could obtain the upper hoof. This work out flawlessly and I was able to sedate the target no problems.
This leads us to the confession at hoof. You see even before *redacted* I had always admired her beauty and I have to admit I was ecstatic to be the one in charge of her interrogation. I felt it was possible to put my feelings aside. Looking back I should have passed off this mission before it even started.
The Interrogation started of fine but rather quickly I found the conversations would veer of course. She would always start off with a complement. They were just about how much she liked my mane or how lovely a shade of blue my coat was. It made it hard to hide my attraction to her. In no time I found my self reply back with complements. The interrogations ended up less and less productive with more small talk then confessions.
I couldn't help my feelings for her getting stronger. I loved the why she would start to get shy when we where talking Slowly pushing her hoof agents her leg while looking at the ground. To this day I can't figure out if she was sincere or just a great actress.
At this point I was way to excited for our daily meetings I could feel my heart pounding when the clock hit 10:00 and it was time for me to make my way to her cell. I could feel a real connection going on between the two of us. I was really glad I was the only one who was aloud to be in the room.
At some point I convince HQ to allow multiple “interrogations” per day, easily done to to the lack of information coming out from her. I started sneaking in tea and snacks to our little meeting too. Side note we should really fix those door scanners, they do little to nothing in there current state.
Anyways, this brings us to last night. It was our late 8:00 “interrogation” and we where drinking our typical Earl Gray. The complements I have come to enjoy where being laid on pretty heavy this evening when all of a sudden this got quite. We where starring deep into each others eyes. When she closed hers I did the same and our lips meet for only a second or two. Then I backed off. We both gave each other an awkward glance and I ended the meeting.
So why am I here today? I would like to request for a change of post. I let this go on for to long. I would like to request that this story doesn't get shared with HQ and because I didn't give up any agency secrets, I can have a clean transfer to another assignment.
Agent: Coolman Stan Codename: Blue Wing Mission Objective: Take down the potions Black Market in Manehatten Status: Incomplete
This was my first mission back after my intergalactic trip so my head from the beginning was kind of a mess. That being said this should have been an easy contact mission. I just had to find the subject, get the intel and then get out. My target was a musical pony such as myself which is why I was picked for the job. Double Reed had made a name in the public eye as a oboe player. He was also an ex-agent from Internal Affairs before the big merger of the three agencies that would come together to make AGIG. He wasn't a fan of old Three Ring so he split before it happened.
He was in Manehattan, which I'm very familiar with, so it didn't take me much time to find him. The Hoof That Feeds You was a popular spot for many musicians, but not typically ones as high class as Double Reed. I sat in the seat next to him. I ordered a cider and gave the bartender my bits. I glanced over at Reed who had a look of recognition on his face.
He whispered to me "Hey Coolman, no time to talk now. I'm going to leave now. Finish your cider and meet me out back. Trot don't fly." In a normal voice to conceal any suspicion I said "Well that's only two blocks away, just west of here, can't miss it." He smiled and trotted away.
I took my time then trotted out back. Reed was talking to a purple mare, I would later find out is named Marquise Amethyst. As I approached they both stopped talking to look at me. I raised an eyebrow at them. Reed started, “So I know I was supposed to get that info about the Black Market potions for you, but things kind of went bad. I-iii was found out. I barely made it out with my life let alone any info! And my contact here,” pointing at Amethyst, “Had to drop all ties.”
I respond, “Well AGIG can take care of any protection you ponies may need, but I can’t go back empty hoofed can you tell me where they meet. I’ll have to go in with force!” They both gave a nervous look, but wrote an address for me to go to.
I made the call for the protection order and started to guide them to the safe house. Without warning, a pony with a snake cutie mark jumped out in front of us. He snarled “Think you can get away that easily, do ya?” and tried to grab Reed. Reed jumped back just in the nick of time. “Just what this day needed!” I yelled. I jumped into the air and rammed into Snake at high speed. He fell to the ground just to get back up again. “Is that all you got?” Snake shouted. He then bucked me into the air. I was able to take flight before hitting the ground. I countered with a flying buck to his face which seemed to put him out. We then all escaped to the safe house.
I’m going to have to stop there for now Three Ring wants to talk to me so we will finish this tomorrow.
Agent: Coolman Stan Codename: Blue Wing Mission Objective: Take down the potions Black Market in Manehatten Status: complete
Sorry we had to cut the last session short, but you know as well as I do, what happens when you ignore Three Ring. Anyway where was I? Right, we made it to the safe house.
Marquise Amethyst and Double Reed were both very shaken up by our little encounter. Once we got to the safe house they seemed a bit calmer, but not much. One of the best things about AGIG’s safe houses is they have an armory hidden behind the bookcase. I pulled down the copy of “Secret Passages For Dummies” that activated the secret passage moving the bookcase. The armory provided many weapons for all types of missions. From big guns to weapons made for ponies of the stealthier temperament. In this case I needed a bit of both.
On my person I had my Hitchhiker’s Guide 3.0, It was in rough shape after my travels but it had a few functioning features that could still come in handy. I also had my multi tool which had everything from a screwdriver to a laser. As always I had my towel with me. I never go anywhere without it.
The first thing I needed was a bullet proof vest. I’m not the kind of pony to use guns but I took a small one just in case. As I looked around the room I noticed a new addition: The tranquiliser gun. I Packed it into the vest as well. The last thing I grabbed was a fedora.
I walked out of the armory and put the book back upright; sealing it again. I had one last talk with Amethyst and Reed just to confirm the location of the hideout. I left the safe house in the direction of the sewers. I was thinking how clique the hideout location was on my way there: Like really, a sewer?
I made my way to the ponyhole cover that was just a short trot away from the hideout. Once I was underground I pulled out my Hitchhiker's Guide. It showed itself as a bird and flew over to my shoulder. I whispered to it to engage stealth mode. It doesn't make me invisible, but it does give me a bit of camouflage that makes it easier to sneak around. I still need to be light on my hooves as there is no way for me to cover the noise. I asked the guild for a map of the sewer systems, but because of its state I was only able to get a partial map. I would able to fill in the blanks myself as I went along.
Making my way through the tunnels I got to the hideout. The tunnels opened up to a room near the inside of the a trio of buildings. The first one was an extension of a building from above ground. It’s a bar that has gambling in the back. The other two buildings were unknown to me. In front of the middle building there was a guard, so I figured I would save that one for last.
Sneaking up to the last building. I saw two goons in the window. One had a Dice for a cute mark the other had a cutie mark of five aces. I pressed my ear to the window.
Dice started talking “So AGAG still doesn't know what we're doing down here, they still think we're selling black market potions.”
Five Ace laughed and responded “Yeah it’s a good thing we were able to get that informant in AGIG to feed them fake info!”
Dice smirked “If only they know we were building a bomb down here.” They both chuckled and trotted away.
I shifted down below the window so they wouldn’t see me as they walked past. I told the guild to send this new info to HQ. After it did that it informed me that it has updated the maps of the area. Taking a look, I saw it had identified the crime leader’s location and name. His name was Dark Meadows. Dark Meadows was a suspect from the very beginning but we could never get any proof. He ended up on our radar a few times but he had completely drop off recently, apparently it's because he had a mole in AGIG.
I stepped around the the corner of the middle building and shot the guard with the tranquilizer gun. I dragged his body to the back of the building and checked it. He had keys! I used the guide to make a hologram of the guard to buy me some time. I then used the keys to get in the building and locked it behind me.
Inside I started looking at the wall for an air duct. BINGO! I found it! I pulled out my multi-tool and tried the screwdriver but it didn’t have the right bit so I went to plan B. I used the laser tool to take out the screws and melted the grill to the wall when I was on the other side.
The air duct lead to right above Meadows room, what a design flaw. Looking down I could see he was alone counting money at his desk. I kicked the vent from under me and wrapped my towel around his face. I jabbed a tranq dart into his flank which put him right out.
I knew I didn’t have much time left so I strapped him to my back with the towel and kick out the nearest window. As I flew past the other buildings I could hear bullets flying by me. I dodged most of them but one hit me straight in the chest. The vest protected me but it almost put me off course. I narrowly flew past the ponyhole cover shooting closed behind me with my last tranquilizer dart. I barely had the energy to get back to the safe house but I made it. I secured Meadows and made the call to HQ.
That Brings us to now. We have to start interrogations and flush out the informant. If they willing to work for Meadows, who knows who else they could have helped?
