A Little Trip

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Pain. I can feel it surging in my body. Well, I guess that's what happens when you FUCKING ALMOST CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN ON A TABLE. Well, shit, why did I fall again? A throbbing in my head persuades my hand to tend to it. Oh, that's right, a light. I was just inspecting a light that appeared in my apartment when I slipped on something and hit my head. I turn my head to look at the window, only to see it was sunrise. Shit, I must have been knocked unconscious. But what did I trip over? Looking around for the culprit of my fall, I came across some mush on the floor. It was grey and looked like something you'd see in a TV show about prison food, only less appetising. Well, at least it doesn't smell. Wait, if it's sunrise... Then what time is it now? Turning to the clock only confirmed my suspicions. 6:15. I was going to be late.

Shit shit shit shit shit. I've been basically running since I entered the lobby of the pristine building, and after running up five flights of stairs, I was struggling for breath. But that's fine, because as long as the boss man didn't notice, I'll be as good as-"STEVENS!" -gold... shit. I turn around to see my boss waiting by his office, his index finger curling as if to coax me into his domain. With a sigh, I trudged over to his office. Well, I do have an excuse this time.

I sink into the chair in front of my bosses neat, heavy table which had him seated directly across from me, face curled up in anger. "Dominic, you're late. Again," he growled, voice sounding venomous enough to kill several horses, "Pray tell, what is your excuse this time?"

"Well, you see, it's a funny story, actually... I fell over and got knocked unconscious," I meekly offered, a nervous smile never leaving my lips. And after a short silence, a sigh leaving his.

"I don't understand Dom," he sighed, his voice now erased of all anger, only filled with disappointment, "you're one of the brightest people we have here, why do you act like this? Always late, never trying, acting immature, it's like you want to get fired. So if you want to get paid, pull your finger out and push yourself harder!"

"That's what she said," Mr Anderson's eye twitched.

"GROW UP!"

...

There was a pause, me not wanting to dig my hole any deeper, and him with his face frozen in rage. After a short time, he sighed and his face fell to a more relaxed position. "Just please grow up, and actually try." I nodded, ashamed that I just said what I did. It wasn't even that good. And the immature thing, that too. He looked at me with a sympathetic gaze, before continuing. "So, you said hit your head, right," he questioned me, receiving a nod in return. Letting out a small annoyed grunt, he proceeded in his train of thought. "So I give you permission to have the day off to see a doctor, but I want to see you back here on time, or else. Understand?"

"Y-yes, thanks boss," I manage to stutter as I vacate the room. A thankful sigh leaves me as I got off easy. Hopefully I make it to work in time next time, or the boss is gonna kill me.

A sigh escapes my lips as the door slams behind me. The doctor said it was a minor blow to the head. Sure, it should have hurt, which it did, but it shouldn't have knocked me out. Maybe it was shock, at least that's what the doc said. Whatever, I don't care, I got a day off! As I climb the stairs I notice the grey sludge from this morning dripping off one of the wooden stairs. That's weird, I was sure I fell while I was downstairs. Meh, I was in a rush and probably didn't notice. Note to self: clean that up later.

I turn the TV on and jump onto the couch. The droning of the television slowly lulls me to sleep. Or almost does. As I start to embrace sleep, wouldn't you know it? A loud ass noise blasts through my hallway. It sounds like someone is ripping paper into a megaphone, only less metallic. And more constant. IT. WON'T. STOP. Rolling off my couch, I start heading towards the noise. The fact that it is coming from one of my rooms is weird in itself, but right now I couldn't give any less fucks about that. I'm just too pissed over being denied rest.

I stop outside the room the noise is originating from. There's a light coming from underneath the closed door. Weird, why would you use a flashlight in the middle of the day? Especially one strong enough to cast visible light from the bottom of the door. It just occurred to me that someone might be trying to rob my house. Someone not very smart. How they got in, I don't know, but I'll figure that out in a minute. Looking around for a weapon to defend myself, the closest thing I have is my umbrella. Well, I guess it's good enough. Pushing the door open with the umbrella clutched in my hand I cautiously scan the room until my eyes land on some sort of hole. What!? It's not a clean circular hole either, it's more like a tear. Yeah, a tear that's spewing out bright-ass white light and being loud as fuck. I inspect the 'tear', walking around it without getting too close. It's two dimensional whichever way you look at it. It's weird and eerie. I shouldn't touch it. I should wait for proper authorities to inspect it. But who would believe me? 'Hello, police? Yeah, there's a big white - most likely inter-dimensional - tear in my room. What's that? You can have me booked into the asylum within the hour? Lovely!'

I shouldn't touch it. I don't want to touch it. Well... maybe a little. Ok, a lot. Reaching out shakily with my umbrella, I poke into the tear, only for it to go right through. Not like a portal either. Just through to the other side of the tear as if it wasn't even there. Even waving the umbrella only distorted it like smoke, before the whiteness formed back into the tear. Well, I guess it's harmless then! I chuckle a bit as I come closer and stick my hand through to wave the tear around. I guess I was worried for noth... ing... My hand's stuck. It won't move. Grabbing my arm with my free hand, I start pulling as hard I can, feet digging into the carpet as best they could. I can't believe I stuck my hand in it! WHO WOULD DO THAT?! ME APPARENTLY, BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT! But I can feel my hand being pulled free. Yes! Only a few more seconds of pulling, and I would be home bound. Well, as home bound as you could be when you're already at home. I can feel my hand about to give, and I'm thankful it's not starting to hurt over all the yanking. Wait, why can't I feel- my thoughts were cut off as my hand flew out, the leftover force from pulling back throwing me square on my back.

I let out a relieved laugh at what transpired, sitting up so I could get a better look at my hand. Well, at least that's over. Now to get out of here before something else happens. Looking to my hand, I suddenly see why I couldn't feel it anymore. Because it's not there. No cuts or flesh openings, just no hand like it never existed. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" I think I'm taking it rather well actually.

My throat hurt briefly from my screaming, but it stops as the portal pulses. Colour is coming off it, a rainbow aura or something. And now it's starting to suck. Literally. My body is being pulled towards the gaping tear as the incredible wind is pulling me towards it. I quickly grab hold of the umbrella and hook around the open door knob as the wind starts to intensify. Well, isn't this just peachy, I've got one hand, my house is getting ruined, and the wind is now strong enough that my legs are being pulled off the ground. But wait a minute. Yes. YES! The tear's getting smaller, soon it should close completely.

Of course it's just my luck, I hear a crack. Looking up, I see my umbrella handle start to shift. "You better not do what I think you're going to do." If it was wise, then it'd listen to my warning. Apparently, inanimate objects don't have any form of sensibility, as it cracks more. The hole was so close to closed now, I'd just be able to fit through. That's good enough for the umbrella, as it cracks once more, before giving out. "YOU CHEAP ASS MOTHERFU-" was all I managed to get out before losing all feeling.

Pain. I can feel it surging from... well, everywhere. If I just died, then let me tell you, it isn't a better place. Ceasing to exist in itself didn't hurt, but somehow with no concept of sight, smell, or any other feeling, for the seconds I was in there (even though it felt like decades), the pain was unbearable. And I would know, I once stubbed my toe on a metal table in a room with Lego spread all over the floor. But horror stories aside, my limbs ache, like they were confined and hadn't been used in a long time. Thank God I got them back. Groggily rolling over, my limbs feel sore, almost like they're broken, and strange. But all things considered, they were better being there than nowhere at all. I think.

Trying to roll over didn't get me far, as it seems I've got something stuck in my arm. Sitting up, I noticed I was having trouble, my body felt so... different, and weak. Now sitting as comfortably as possible, I can hear the distinct sound of a heart monitor. I'm in a hospital at least. Opening my eyes, I was assaulted with pain as my eyes didn't seem to take kindly to light. Letting my eyes adjust, I see my surroundings. A grey room provided me with enough information to confirm I wasn't in my room anymore. I can feel the fear welling up inside me, but push it down. I need to assess the situation first. That's what you're meant to do right? Looking down to inspect my limbs, I stopped in shock.

My hands are gone. Not like before, where it was just a nub, it didn't even look like a human arm anymore. It's a hoof. What? The shock of my situation numbed my senses for quite a bit. Lets be honest, in a situation like this, my nerves were fried. Figuratively of course. I just don't know what to do with this... information. Shakily, I lift my 'hoof' up to my face to inspect it. It's a hoof. Attached to a red leg. This doesn't make sense! The numbness of the situation is wearing off, and fear is rising in my chest. If I was a horse, or whatever I am now, why am I red? I shouldn't be red, right? I've never even heard of a bright red horse before. Looking over my body, I could see more horse. The fear and shock now surfacing, I couldn't help but do what came naturally. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME!?" I thrashed to get off the bed, not caring as I rip out the IV from my... leg? No, this is wrong. It's NOT my leg. I don't own it, and I've never seen it before. This is wrong!

The monitor is flat lining from lack of pulse as I manage to fall off the bed. Fall being the key word here. Landing face first onto the ground hurts, but I have more pressing issues at the moment. Moving my legs, I tried to stand up. A task more difficult than usual since my limbs are unfamiliar to me and extremely weak, before I could hear a rushed sound of... hooves? This isn't good. Redoubling my efforts, I manage to stand up, before the door slams open, revealing a panicked-looking horse.

"Don't you dare die on me! I can't get another..." It's feminine words trailed off as she took sight of me. My eyes are probably as wide as hers. She just talked! That's not right! Horses don't talk! I shivered as the last of my sensibility flies straight out the window, and panic comes straight in.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" No wait, that's not the right question. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" Perfect. The white... thing walks towards me with astonishment plastered on her face. I don't know if she can understand me, but she seemed to not have heard my question. Somehow.

"This is incredible! You're awake! How is this possible?" She got as close as possible, her... nose touching mine, which in no way helps me calm down. Before I can ask her what she's talking about or just freak out over this, I hear loud... hoofsteps coming towards the door. They sound bigger and heavier than the horse in front of me. Bigger horses equals more possibility of danger. More horses equals more possibility of danger. Well, I guess it's time to run. Shoving the horse aside as best I could, she stumbles back more from surprise than actual force, giving me an opening for the door. I leap in the direction of the door, and land on my hooves before falling straight down in front of the several buff looking horses that are entering the room, carrying various medical supplies and looking astonished, for some reason. I get to my feet as best I could before I try knocking one of them over. My arm just bounces off his body as they break out of their stupor.

"Quickly restrain him!" a brown horse demands in a masculine voice while wrapping his hooves around me. I struggle as hard as possible as more horses join in on the rather violent game of stacks on. Once every horse is on top of me, I can't move anything below my neck.

"Nurse, please apply the anaesthetic, ASAP." I see the female grab a needle from one of the bags that the bigger horses brought in, and I struggle even harder as she heads over to me. But to no avail. Well, running is out of the question. Next plan: pleading.

"NO, WAIT! Can't we talk about this like rational people?" This caused the nurse to halt, looking at me with confusion. Great, now I just have to calm the tension in the room and I can talk my way out of this. Probably. Unfortunately one of my personal paperweights decided to try and get more comfortable, and I can feel him stepping on my limbs for better leverage. Whatever, I can ignore the pain. "Let's just calm down and- OH SWEET MOTHERFUCKING UMBRELLAS!" Have you ever had a stone the weight of a horse leg fall on your toe? Well, I think my reaction was justified as the damage is more... north. My thrashing picked up as well as my anger, shoving with all my might. "GET OFF ME YOU FAT ASS HORSES! I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL... I'll..." My sentence drops off as I feel a prick in my ass and my body relaxing, the anger washing away. Looking at the nurse, I see her holding the syringe in place, looking at me. "What... the fuck... is wrong with you?" Drowsiness takes over my body as my head hits the ground and my vision fades out.

Early worm gets the bird

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My head feels like someone's injected pure lead into it. Heavy, slow and sore. A few pained groans escaped my lips as I tried to raise my hand to rub my temple. Huh, that's weird, my arms are pinned by something. And I can't feel my fingers. Groggily lifting my head up, I look down to examine what's holding me down. I almost wish I hadn't. Restraints held taught over my body, but while that sent of alarm bells by itself, nothing was as bad as what I saw lay beneath.

Red. Too much red. Not hands. Hooves. My brain skids to a halt, recovering memories from yesterday. The tear, the ponies, the dog pile, for some reason a clown, and the feeling of nothingness. It sends shivers down my spine. A quick search over the room made it obvious that it wasn't the bare cement room I had woke up in, the walls lined with book shelves filled to the brim, a closer look revealing the titles on the spines written in something like Latin. A smooth, dark oak desk sat on the other side of the room, framed papers with signatures hanging proudly off the walls behind. I could recognise diplomas anywhere.

"Well, look who's awake!" My head snapped to the now open wooden door I somehow managed to miss, another horse-thing standing under its frame, this time brown, his calm demeanour almost as impressive as mine.

"WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON!" My ~~desperate~~ reasonable screams made him flinch slightly, before he moved towards me, a small smile on his face as the door closed roughly behind him. I tried to put as much distance between us as possible with my limbs restrained, and if he did notice, he didn't show it.

"Your reaction is completely normal for someone in your situation, and I understand how scared you are," his voice was soft and slow, the kind that someone would use to comfort a small child, "And I am aware of your first *Ahem* experience. But I can give you whatever answers you need if you answer some of my questions. That sound good?" I hated his patronising tone, but answers are the only thing I need. I slowly nodded my head to show my resigned cooperation. I don’t like this situation, but there’s unfortunately little I can do to fix it. Best to roll with the punches, as they say.

Giving him time to continue his explanations, I followed him with my eyes as he started a slow walk around the room, until he stopped in front of the desk, a serious look on his face as he looked directly into my eyes. "Please understand, the restraints are for your safety, you've been... non responsive for a long time. You're muscles are uncoordinated and slightly under developed, and after your last experience we couldn't risk you falling down." I think he was trying to reassure me about my restraints, and as much as I believe him, it doesn't calm me in the slightest. Mostly because I still HAVE HOOVES. "Now, can you tell me the last thing you remember before waking up here please. Take your time."

I quirked an eyebrow at him in confusion. What did I remember? Does it look like I'm stupid? "The last thing that happened- *ahem*" It only just occurred to me how saw my throat was from even such a mild amount of yelling, as if it barely got a workout compared to my usual tirades of screaming and the non stop shit shows that are my mostly one sided conversations. "Is this because my body is new?" My unfocused remark seemed to catch the horse's attention, as I noticed one of his eyebrows raise in intrigue. Shit, steer the conversation back onto topic. "The last thing that happened was that god damned dogpile of assholes-"

"Now I understand your experience, but those ponies were trying to help. Surely such harsh names are-"

"Yeah, no. The last thing I remember is those arseholes dogpiling on this arsehole, before the lady..." what did he call them? "Pony shot me up." Yeah, that sounds about right.

The hor-pony picked up some notes on the desk, reading through them as he off handedly nodded. “Yes, well, I’m aware of your less than pleasurable experience upon awakening, but I was referring to before that. What’s the last thing you remember before you woke up in your room earlier?”

The last thing I remembered before waking up earlier? Even easier. “I was in my apartment, when a bright light appeared in the middle of the room, like a tear in reality. Then it sucked me up. Next thing I know I woke up here as a small red horse.”

My recount made the pony pause, one of his eyebrows raising while his eyes shifted back to me. “Excuse me, but you say that you weren’t a pony before?” There was intrigue in his voice, and I just realised how I fucked up.

‘Oh well, two for two. Might as well go all in.’ Despite how little sense that phrase makes in this situation, I decided to risk it. Better by choice than the inevitable accident. “Nope, I was born, bred and raised full blooded human, at least as far as I know...” at the mention of humans, the pony’s face morphed into... confusion? I’m going confusion for 700. “Humans are, like, hairless apes. Ya’know, bipedal and shit, with hands and opposable thumbs, all that good stuff. Omnivorous, pretentious, and extremely stupid.”

The pony’s brow looked like it was ready to pop off, it being raised far higher upon his head than what almost seemed possible. He slowly put down his notes back onto the table as he turned his full attention back to me. “Tell me, what exactly do remember about yourself?” The way he intently stared at me as he said that sent a shiver down my spine, but questions must be answered, regardless of my unease.

“Another easy one, my name is Dominic Stevens, 22 years old, male and highly attractive. I live by myself and have a well paying, if very dead-end job. Try throwing me a curveball next time.” Maybe I’m having too much fun with this...

“Well... Dominic, there’s a topic I would like to discuss with you,” the brown pony walked over to the desk, sitting down and pulling a pair of glasses... somehow. Setting the glasses soon his face, he went back to giving me his full, if not quite unnerving attention. It’s kinda funny, with the diplomas behind him and with that look he has, it’s almost as if he’s a...

“Wait.”

My whisper of an epiphany went unnoticed by the doctor as he continued his ‘conversation’. “You see, the pony brain is quite amazing. It has an astounding ability to take a fractured understanding and fill in the holes itself!” Oh fuck me.

“Oh fuck me.”

Ignoring me, his tirade continues unabated. “Listen to me Trap, there is nothing wrong with you, you just have some trouble remembering.” Oh no no no no.

“Trap? Doc my name is-“

“Trap! You’re name is Open Trap, and I understand your confusion and fear, but we’ll help you understand reality.”

“Okay one, rude. And two, fuck you, I ain’t crazy!”

“No, of course your not crazy,” his tone was reassuring, but my knowledge of what comes next isn’t. “You’re just a little confused. But we can help you!” And there it is.

Okay I can fix this. “Okay doc, I think there’s been a misunderstanding, so how about we just play nice and you let me go, yeah?”

“Unfortunately we can’t let you out of our care yet.” Fuck why doesn’t that ever work? “If you were to go out as you were now, you’d be a danger to ponies and yourself!” I can feel my temper rising. This isn’t going to end well. “We’ll take good care of you, so don’t worry abou-“

“NO! I’m not meant to be here! I’m not even a pony damnit! I’m a human!” I don’t care if I’m having a tantrum right now, I just can’t deal with what’s going on. I began thrashing at my restraints, desperate to get any leeway no matter how little. I couldn’t find any, but the doctor pony was already calling for help regardless. Not even 30 seconds later and I had one of those big ponies dragging me out of the room, still thrashing and screaming my noble declarations of who I am inside. The last thing I could see of the room being the doc’s closing door gaining distance, a smirking pony behind it, and only one thing on my mind. ‘That’s one hell of a curve ball.’

Wait, smirking?

“Fuck me. Fuck me and fuck my life.”

“Please Trap, there’s no need for that language.”

“Fuck you too.” The nurse who was caring for me gasped, like, in actual pain. So now I feel like an asshole. Add that to the current shit list, but right now I was too salty to care. I was returned to the room I woke up in after my forceful eviction from the docs office, but barely only got enough time to myself to calm down slightly before the nurse came to take me around the facility. Apparently the nurse pony I saw upon waking in this world was my assigned carer or something, because I’m apparently going to be spending a lot of time with her. I also happened to notice something else about the ponies, but they’re hair... mane colour is, well, weird. I didn’t notice it before with the doc because of how normal a brown coat with black mane looked to me, but the nurse has, and I shit you not, a soft blue mane along with her white coat. And judging from the other ponies we passed, that’s still not even the weirdest colour schemes. How do ponies even become pink?

That brings me back to my current situation. Apparently, this body isn’t very developed (muscularly you pervs) which means walking is hard, not even considering the fact that I’ve never walked with four legs before. So here I am, being pushed around in a wheelchair feeling like an idiot for not knowing how to walk. Don’t even get me started on how wrong it feels to be sitting in a chair as a pony. Anyway, after a tour of the facility, which I was very interested in for reasons unrelated to escape, it was apparently time for dinner, so it was a quick walk through the park towards the food area, which meant some quality time with the nurse.

“I bet you’ll feel less grumpy after your dinner huh?” Speaking of whom.

“I’m not a damn child.” I don’t think I can take any more of being looked down on like this. Even I have my dignity, even if it’s practically non existent.

“Well maybe you should stop acting like a child then.”

“WeLl MaYbE YoU ShOuLd StOp AcTiNg LiKe a ChiLd,” I cleverly retorted.

I almost fell out of the wheelchair as it abruptly came to a halt. “Are you... an actual child.”

I didn’t think I could get embarrassed in this situation, but somehow I felt my cheeks heat up regardless. “S-shut up and push me damnit.”

The chair started moving again as the nurse gave a nervous and rushed apology. I’m guessing she’s not actually supposed to talk to patients like that, but it’ll be good to have someone who still treats me with respect. As we approached the cafeteria, we passed a pony laughing to themselves loudly, for no apparent reason. It’s then I got a good look at something else that was bothering me, this time an image of three different types of nuts: almond, peanuts and metal.

“Hey... so what’s the deal with the butt pics?” The nurse looked at me like I was an idiot, so I probably wasn’t very good at explaining. “You know the pictures on peo-ponies asses,” I clarified, pointing to my blaringly vacant ass.

“I know what you mean! Just stop using words like that!” She let out quickly. Taking a second to recompose herself, she started on her explanation. “Well.. when a pony gets to a certain age, they find what they’re special talent is, and the latent harmony magic in them manifests they’re talents and sometimes even they’re destiny into those pictures we know as cutie marks.”

That gave me pause, mulling over her words. I didn’t even notice as we entered the cafeteria. “So when you're a child, a permanent picture appears on you that marks what your good at and what you should do with your life?”

“That’s... well...”

“And some ponies marks condemn them to things like insanity based off their childhood?,” I continued, gesturing to a pony we passed with a screw affiliated cutie mark, “I don’t know, that’s just kinda... sad.”

I expected her to say something defending their tradition, or just flat denial. She didn’t make a sound. We continued in an awkward silence until we reached a table, and she parked me close enough to comfortably eat. She quickly disappeared before coming back with a tray on her back, the contents obscured by my angle.

“Okay, now your food might not look very appetising, but your jaw muscles are still properly recuperating,” an annoying truth as my mouth felt strained despite how comparatively little I’ve talked while here, “and this has just the right nutritions you need to heal fast,” She quickly added, as she moved to place the tray in front of me.

Her description gave me some skepticism, but how bad could it be? “Trust me, if I can eat my sisters cooking, I can eat any...thing...”

The thing on that tray was too familiar. It was mush. Grey mush. The same grey mush that was in my apartment and almost killed me.

“Fuck my life.”

Getting the groove beaten into me

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It's been four days. A very disturbing four days, but four days nonetheless, of being stuck here. I've learnt more about this world, and I have to say, it's pretty fucking insane. So basically there aren't just talking ponies here, no that would be too easy. Some have wings, and others have horns alongside those with neither. And guess what? They refer to themselves as pegasi and unicorns as well. That’s just one hell of a freaky coincidence. ~~Right?~~

The first time I ran into them was beyond surreal...

Steel grey eyes, black mane. This is the first time I've seen my reflection (or really taken notice of it), and I've got to say, it's left me quite disappointed. The first problem was quite the obvious one: I'm still a horse! The second annoyance was how... boring it was. Everyone else has some bright and wonky colour schemes, and here I am with red, black and goddamn grey. I was at least hoping for some gold or something. My hair was shaggy and unkempt, but short. Apparently it was cut shortly before I... arrived, so I never saw it in my peripheral vision, as was my tail but I would rather avoid thinking about the mind fuck that is having one.

After ‘dinner’ yesterday, I was taken back to what I can only assume is my room for the night for one of the worst sleeps I’ve ever had. Well, not before doing some... business, but that isn’t important and definitely didn’t make me want to shoot myself out of awkwardness. Back to the food and not the worst experience with a toilet in my life, it sucked. Ten out of ten description, I know, but that cold, slimy muck had the aftertaste of licking metal and the taste of biting a chunk of cardboard. Not that I’ve done either of those things.

“Man that shit sucked.”

“What sucked?” Oh yeah, my current situation. I’m finally getting a good look in a mirror in a medical room of... some sort. Hey, I never claimed to be an expert. So now I’m here with the nurse, sitting on a chair waiting for the doctor pony to arrive so he can do an examination on me then tell me I’m crazy as well. Or just ‘confused’.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking out loud. Hey, how much longer do we have to wait? Believe it or not I’m starting to get bored of staring at my own reflection.”

“Wouldn’t that be a-“ she quickly cut herself off with a cough as she appeared to blush slightly. Fixing whatever problems she had with her throat she finally turned back to me. “Mr Smooth is just running a little late, I’m sure he’ll arrive in no time.”

“Wait, Smooth? What kind of name is that? It’s even stupider than mine!”

“Please don’t be so rude Trap. Smooth Procedure is a very highly regarded professional. There is no need to make fun of his name.”

“Oh please, like you’re disagreeing with me? Actually now that I think about it, I don’t think we’ve actually ever exchanged names. I’m Dominic, but I’m pretty sure I’ve already told you that.” Despite all the time we spent together the last 24 hours, it’s true that I’ve never caught her name. It’s weird, I really thought she’d introduce herself by now.

My nurse only stared at me, her jaw slack as she was no doubt embarrassed by her lack of courtesy. Some people nowadays just have no manners, but that’s okay, because I forgive her. I was opening my mouth to comfort her, when her eyes narrowed in realisation.

“Excuse me, what do you mean ‘never exchanged names’!?” Oh wait, that’s incredulous rage. “I told you my name when we first met, remember!? Or are ‘humans’ just too rude to listen?”

She told me yesterday? I was too busy being completely bombarded with bullshit to notice. “Oh shit.” The scowl deepened. “I mean, of course I remember, I was just messing with you!” I threw in the most award winning smile I could to soothe the beast.

“Really? Then what’s my name?” Uh-oh.

“You’re name is nurse...” quick! Just say the first thing that comes to mind! “...scary face.” Fuck you brain.

I swear she actually started growling at me when the door began to open and my glorious saviour showed himself.

“I’m terribly sorry for being late, but I was held up with urgent matters. Thank you for your patience nurse Misty Shores.” Misty Shores? I would’ve thought I’d remember something like that. Still though, it’s not a bad name. Comparatively.

The doctor was an orange stallion with a black mane, his body dressed in a white coat while a picture of a heart beat and scalpel sat on his flank. And above that was a pair of... no way.

“Holy shit.”

The doctor turned towards me with a look I can only call flabbergasted. I also just like calling things that. “I beg your pardon?”

“Please forgive him doctor, his current condition has made his vocabulary more than unpleasant.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow at me, his eyes alight with a bit of confusion. Putting a hoof to his chin, he started mumbling under his breath, and I had to strain my ears as hard as possible to even begin to make out what he said. “-never heard of that being a side effect.” A quick cough (who’s he fooling?) to clear his throat and he returned his attention to me. “It’s no problem, I’ve worked with all types in this institute. It just took me off guard is all.”

I personally couldn’t care less at this point, only one thing caught my limited attention. Motherfucker got wings. “Dude, are you like, a Pegasus or something?” If I thought he was flabbergasted before, it was only a fraction of how he was now.

Misty was quick to his side, whispering something into his ear which made the doctors eyes spark in realisation. “Ah yes, you’re not from this world are you? Is this your first time seeing a Pegasus pony?”

So they are actually called pegasi here too? Convenient. “Listen doc, I know you’re just playing along for me, but you’re right. Can you fly? Are your bones hollow? Do you have to preen?” He was a professional, I’ll give him that. He didn’t even blink at my barrage of questions and started his examination of me.

“Yes, we can fly. No, they’re not hollow. Yes, we do preen.” As he answered he grabbed and squeezed different muscles, doing various checks on them.

As the examination continued I bombarded him with more questions to find more bullshit about this world. Apparently pegasi can walk on clouds here, and their city was a large floating city made of them. The clouds here must be made differently to the ones back home. They also control the weather for some reason, deciding when it rains and when it’s clear. Talk about playing god.

“Oh, how about this one, if you have a pony body and your wings are that size, how do you generate enough lift get off the ground?”

“Magic. Ah, I have the results.” Did he just brush off my question? “While your muscles are slightly atrophied, you should be able to fully recover in a few weeks of physical therapy.”

If I had a glass of water I’d do a spit take. “Bullshit, how long was I unresponsive?”

A quick look at his notes before he came back to me, looking somewhat confused. “Seventeen years. Why, are you feeling something you haven’t told me?”

And here I thought this guy was a professional. “There’s no possible way I can fully recover from muscle atrophy from seventeen years of doing nothing in only a couple of weeks. Recovering my muscles should take months, hell maybe even more than a year to fully recover.”

The doctor looked a bit taken aback, maybe from my knowledge or his apparent lack thereof. Just when I thought he was a professional too. “Well, that may be the case normally, but with the treatment we’ve given you, the effects were dramatically reduced.”

That’s right, I’m in a medical institute aren’t I? I’m bound to get some type of treatment. Still though, I’ve never heard of a treatment that reduces muscle atrophy to that degree.
“What kind of treatment can reduce the damage to that degree?”

A smile returned to the doctors face as he handed some notes to Misty. “Magic.”

Magic. I heard it get thrown around a lot, but I thought it was some bullshit way of explaining things they don’t understand. ‘How does gravity work? Magic.’ That type of stuff. But when I met a unicorn, I began to understand what they meant.

I blinked. He blinked back, his amber eyes piercing into mine. He had dark green fur with a dark brown mane and a cutie mark I haven’t looked at yet. But that didn’t matter, nor did his mane, but what lay underneath it. Smack bang in the middle of his forehead was a horn. “Are you a unicorn?”

I’d seen the horned ponies around after my appointment yesterday, or maybe I’d just started paying more attention to their actual features now I was calmer. And that I met a mystical beast.

His eyebrow raised in confusion at my probably stupid question, but I need to know if they also share the name with my world, and Misty might think I’m an idiot if I ask her. Not that I care what she thinks or anything, it’d just be easier to talk to someone intellectually is all.

“Yes I am. Are you an earth pony?” I can’t tell if he’s trying to make fun of me or not. Damn shrinks.

“No, I’m a human.” My answer got a deep ‘hmm’ in response followed by writing down notes.

Not long ago I was dropped off by Misty to this doctor’s office. It was really a normal looking shrink's room: a comfy lounge chair, big bookshelf full of books, chair for him, a desk and a bunch of other oddities.

“Interesting, and where did you say you were from?” And let’s not forget the psychoanalyser himself.

“I didn’t and I'm from planet Earth. What’s the point of your horn if it’s that blunt?” His scribbling stopped as he looked back up to me.

“What do you mean by that? Should my horn be sharp?” Stupid shrinks and making me spell things out.

“I mean, you can’t really use a blunt horn as a weapon and I don’t see the evolutionary necessity for a blunt horn in a civilised society.” Another ‘hmm’ and another scribble.

“I see that you had a similar reaction when meeting a pegasus. Unicorns don’t use their horns as physical weapons, they’re far too sensitive for that. A unicorns horn is used to channel magic.” Oh. I can’t help but feel disappointed.

“So it’s like that mystical voodoo mumbo jumbo. It like a cultural thing?” When no response came I turned back to the noise of writing. Except he’s no longer holding the pen. It was floating by itself, covered in an amber hue of sparkles. Needless to say, I took this in stride.

“HOLY SHIT!” I screamed as I gracefully floundered off the couch. Reminder that I still can’t walk properly, so I promptly fell onto my face. Again.

After much fussing and comforting, as well as unnecessary swearing, the doc managed to calm me down enough to listen to his explanation.

“This,” he floated the pen and clipboard into view, both coated with the same coloured sparkles I now realise his horn is covered in, “is magic.”

I will admit, took me by surprise. But I got used to it quickly enough. “So the horn is an evolutionary trait that allows the use of telekinesis?” It’s pretty fucking stupid and probably outlandish, but at this point I’m in a world of magical ponies with unicorns and pegasi. Whatever goes, goes I guess.

“Hmm, I could see how you’d feel thy way, but it’s much more than just levitation. The use of magic allows for teleportation, augmentation and even automation. The possibilities are almost limitless, provided you have the power for it. Oh, look at this neat spell a friend from college taught me.” With that he began levitating a notebook alongside the pen and clipboard. With a sudden surge of brightness in they’re aura, he let them out of his grip, only for them to start moving and writing without the sparkles guiding them. “This spell allows for the automated copying of notes.”

He was looking proud of himself for it, but that was far from my mind. Everything is crashing down on me, the weight of the magic now bought new meaning to all the other conversations of past. But I already knew about it didn’t I? I had no way of explaining cutie marks after all. Yes, I knew there was some type of magic in this world, I just simply ignored it. But now that there’s a subspecies who can actively use magic there’s no ignoring it any longer. The truth was, this world worked nothing like my own, and that makes me feel...

“I’m scared.” Before he could even ask what I meant, I had my own question. “Where are we?” I can’t avoid this any longer either.

“Well, first what did you-“

“Where are we?” I repeated my question with more force this time. He simply sighed and went with it.

“We are the Stable Mind Institute, located in the city of Canterlot, the capital of Equestria.”

“...god help this world.”

“Excuse me?”

After that session I was taken back to different places for different activities, but I wasn’t really there. I had a restless sleep that night too.

Looking at the light streaming through my window my thoughts still wandered. Misty entered, I told her where I wanted to go, and she pushed me. But everything felt so distant.

Magic had to be the reason I’m here. There’s no other explanation to it. But if there’s species here who can wield it, then there’s also a likely culprit. Someone brought me here, and I don’t know why or how. For the first time in a long time I was fighting something I didn’t know anything about. In a world with a new element. My emotions are in a flux, unable to decide what to go with. But I have a lead. Even I’m not stupid enough to ignore the extremely suspicious remark of Smooth Procedure. Even if it’s nothing, it’s still worth looking into.

My trip came to a halt. We came where I wanted to be, the fence. Not a wall like most of the areas had, this was a simple fence. I turned my eyes to it, then for the first time, past it. A city looms behind, the sleek buildings and architecture a stylish yet childish and otherworldly design. And there was a castle looming over the edge of the city, big and stupid looking, but also dazzling at the same time. A quick turn of the head revealed a mountain, but something about the environment seemed off.

“Misty, are we at the base of a mountain?”

She jolted a bit, not expecting me to talk apparently, but responded fast anyway. “No, this is Canterlot city. The capital built on the side of a mountain.” I see, so that’s why things seemed off.

As much as I tried to ignore it, it’s not just this institute I have to escape, but also this city. This world. The reality is crashing onto me now, each day cements how real this is. And I only know one way to deal with it. I open my mouth.

“YOU BETTER BE READY EQUESTRIA! I WILL OVERCOME YOU AND GET BACK HOME! MARK MY WORDS!” A few snobby ponies outside looked scared, Misty looked panicked, but I couldn’t keep this stupid uneven grin off my face.

I will find a way out. I still need to hug my sister and thank her for everything she’s done for me, then confront my brother and apologise for all I’ve done to him. Even if he’ll probably punch me in the face the moment he sees me, I’d rather that pain any day over this one.

I'm Not Insane!

by Amega

A Little Trip

Early worm gets the bird

Getting the groove beaten into me