A story of how an unusual epidemic that seemingly randomly turns ponies into billy goats right around the time of the annual Equestrian Open in Ponyville, and the efforts to curb or solve this by an illustrious scientist.
A story of an unusual epidemic that seemingly randomly turns ponies into billy goats right around the time of the annual Equestrian Open in Ponyville, and the efforts to curb or solve this by an illustrious scientist and her lovely assistant dragon and her friends. Who is responsible? Why would they do this? What is your favorite color? What is the air speed velocity of an unladen Flutterpony?
This is my first attempt at a fanfiction for MLP that I've published, keyword published. Feedback is appreciated. By feedback I mean post in the comments don't just down vote, tell me why you down voted.
The Mane 6 won't appear all at once, nor the CMC, nor Discord. They show when they show.
If you get the references in the story, the massive glaring ones, this mustache is for you. A tentative schedule for this story is a new chapter every other day until it is completed. Note: look my silent first critic appeared on this story.
The multiverse consists of millions and billions of galaxies, within which are billions of stars and billions of planets. And of which there are billions of alternate dimensions of these planets and stars and galaxies, because of the theory of multiple realities and the concept that anything that could happen or exists has or does in another realm at some point in time. Of all these alternate planets, in all these alternate realms and dimensions, the greenest, most magical, and kindest is the planet Equis. In the system of Fantasia and the galaxy known as the Harmony Rift where magic thrives in abundance. And it is to this world that creatures of an alien dimension came to destroy and conquer the natives. And do so in such a way that even the great and powerful Alicorns of Equestria Celestia,Cadence, Twilight Sparkle, and Luna, the Elements of Harmony, and the dragons did not see this coming. Because quite frankly it is very silly and in no way connected to a certain Draconequis, and in fact he too will be much surprised by the events about to occur.
Ponyville: Business Quarter
It is an absolutely ordinary perfect day in Ponyville, and our story opens on a pair of absolutely ordinary ponies walking down the cobblestone street leading to the weekend market, on a day when it seems nothing disastrous will occur. They are Mister Alien Skies and Miss Mystery Skies, of number 7/1130 Gaffer Way, Ponyville. A perfectly normal street with perfectly normal ponies, and these two are going about a perfectly normal day. Under the perfectly normal sun that Celestia has raised in the same way she has done for untold years. They are the kind of ponies nothing extraordinary, fantastical, or unusual ever happens to. Nor are they the sort to be at the middle of the most inexplicable and mysterious incidents to ever fall upon the land of Equestria and it’s neighboring kingdoms. In fact you could say they have almost no part in this whatsoever.
“Excuse me sir are you talking about us?” Says Missus Skies, a light green unicorn with navy blue mane and tail and very green eyes, in a high pitched slightly naggish voice.
Her husband, a grey earth pony with brown hair and green eyes, speaks up in a rather weathered tone while motioning with his hoof “Yes , well you see we could save you a bit of time and...”
We move on away from Mister and Missus Skies who are absolutely normal and no fun and not the focus of this story in any way. Instead let’s move on to this young earth pony colt. Banker Musty Price, a young stallion originally from Canterlot who owns a fairly successful insurance practice in Ponyville. And makes a good deal of bits due to all that happens here. He is about to start his day completely unaware of what is about to occur. And the first victim of visitors of another dimension.
As Mister Price trots along in his nice business suit continuing with his day that started with a nice scone at Sugarcube Corner and some tea, he moves through the streets at a calm pace. Unaware of the random flying triangle shaped object above him slowly circling for a good shot. Moving beyond the delightfully cupcake shaped shop and down the street he gets to his nice brownstone office. Where he would normally go continue his day at the most successful and only insurance practice in Ponyville, Pay&Price. As he moves to open the door a ethereal beam shines down from the triangle shaped object in the sky upon his equine form. As it strikes him, his hoof upon the door, he shakes and shivers; as the extraterrestrial light triggers an inexplicable transformation into a Billy Goat in complete traditional attire. Upon which he spontaneously puffs out his chest, straightens his posture, lifts and sticks out his right now cloven hoof, turns in the direction of the Horned Hills of Ruminia; and starts running in an ambling and rather goat like fashion in that general direction.
As he does this, the triangle above moves on over the town searching for it's next victim. And the beginning of the terrors of an alternate dimensional attack on the citizens of Equestria begins.
Ponyville: Marketplace
Big Story, Reporter, Newspaper sales pony and part time Shrubbier. Stands on a corner by his stand in the middle of the market, shouting loudly “Breaking news, Read all about. Pony turns into Billy Goat!” to all who could possibly hear. Two stalls over sits one orange pony with a yellow mane in pig tails, and a worn cowboy hat named Applejack, of Sweet Apple Acres and Element of Honesty. Rolling her eyes and looking away from him she is one of the many who will not believe the truth, until it appears in front of their faces or they turn into goats whichever happens first.
“Ah can’t believe that tale teller Big Story would go round spreading such silly tales just to sell paper. And ah think he really believes what he’s saying.” Applejack groans as she prepares to sell a particularly delicious looking apple to a young colt named Divine Joke in front of her, who then suddenly stands stiff as if shot. Then shivers and just like Mister Price from earlier turns into a billy goat, spins around, and runs in the direction of Ruminia.
Applejack just stares jaw dropped and slack stammering “Wh..wha..what.. what in tarnation!” before quickly pulling over her older brother Big Mac to watch the apple stall. “Big Mac..stay..sell apples..now!” She says in a panicked voice before running to Big Story’s side, intending to question Big Story on this string of unusual and quite abnormal events.
Her brother merely stares after her before saying "Eeyup", and continues to sell apples completely unaware of what will soon be one of the greatest mysteries in all Equestria
“Big Story!” she pants rather loudly pointing at where the young colt had been, before stating again in a rather stammering way “ Apples..Divine Joke.. transformed.. goat!” Big Story, whom though not mentioned before is a unicorn with a very light grey coat and two tone black and white mane and tail, catches on to the fact that he has been scooped. And the mare in front of him is a natural reporter. That or she got really lucky.
In a voice much like Anchorponies of old he asks “Miss Applejack, you sound like you have witnessed something phenomenal, stupendous, and utterly not explainable. I have the feeling this is merely the beginning of a grand event that will take this land by storm, would you like to be the lead reporter on this case?” His grey eyes searching for any sign this mare might back down, for he can’t cover this story himself you see and he really needs help. In fact he needs far more than he now knows.
Applejack looks at the Newspony, and realizing he is not in fact joking, responds “Mister Big Story, ah just saw something completely unbelievable less than a few minutes ago. Now I have to tell Divine Joke’s folks about what has occurred to that innocent colt. If being a reporter will help get to the bottom of why that poor colt turned into a goat I’ll do it.” She announces with eyes burning with determination.
Big story smiles broadly and grabs a bag full of tools of the trade with his magic from behind is newsstand. A spare he keeps around in case of changeling invasions. Handing it to Applejack he gives her a quick crash course in reporting which we will skip over, because it really is quite boring and has nothing to do with the overall story. After this the light grey unicorn colt gives Applejack her first assignment. “Alright Applejack, your first job will be to question Mister Price’s neighbors and clients by using the questions on this sheet of paper.“ He hands Applejack a worn sheet of note paper with a string of questions on it, written in decipherable but sloppy reporter script. “ Take notes and use the audio recorder at all times, the spare cassettes are in the small bag marked scoop not the one marked sound.”
Applejack raises an eyebrow “What is in the bag labeled sound then?”.
The colt laughs before responding with a look and tone of a co conspirator in some grand secret, “Why just the only known recording of a sound that is known to repel beings from alternate dimensions. I got it from my grandfather who claimed he used it to ward off some rather shrubbery obsessed knights, and the first pony in my family to be a part time Shrubbier at that.”
The orange farm pony squints her eyes sighing wishing she hadn’t asked. Before saying in a rather exasperated tone “Alright then Big Story, anything else I should know?”.
The perfectly color themed for his job Newspony smiles “I’m glad you asked my new friend, well besides the recorder be sure to use this. “ A magical grey glow lifts a large and oversized camcorder device, and places it on Applejack's shoulders strapping it on to the stunned mare quicker than you can say “hay”. Once it is securely fastened he continues ,“You see this is a video recording device, I want you to catch everything on camera.” With a grin he says “Also in case something happens to you, and you yourself get inexplicably transformed we won’t lose the story.. I think.”
Applejack narrows her eyes at him “Ya think?” She asks slightly irritated, tail twitching, and ready to get on with this reporting already.
Big story smiles innocently “Yes well I’ve never had a chance to test if it can survive transformation from beings using unknown magic. Regardless after you speak to Mister Price’s neighbors and clients, go over to the parents of that colt Divine Joke and repeat the same questions then report back to me. Are we clear?”
Applejack nods her head, mane shifting around the camcorder as the device holds on to her shoulders not moving an inch. “Ah think I got it down Big Story”.
The news pony puts on a laughable attempt at a serious face “Well then, get on it Ace Reporter Applejack, I’m counting on you!” He finishes with an equally silly hoof salute, his left hoof smacking the side of his face leaving a mark. “I meant to do that!”.
Applejack just smirks holding back a chuckle “Of course ya did” she says before leaving and heading in the direction of the home of Mister Musty Price. First victim of the unknown beings from another dimension, whose reason for the soon to be widespread transformations are as of yet unknown.
An Incredibley Boring Minor History Lesson about Ruminia
Before we carry on I think it is important you know what Ruminia is.
A land of great lush hills, stunning lowlands with rivers arching from one end to the other, with ancient castles and fortresses dotting the landscape. Great mounds of stone and lochs stretch across this former nation, that is surrounded on one side by the deep blue and somewhat briny sea. Trees growing in great highland forests and meadows coated with flowers, some of which are so bright the eye can't stand to look on them for fear of going blind. In these great hills dwell the Goats, in their villages and cities the latter of which are distinctly smaller than those elsewhere in the world.
Ruminia formerly the home of Bovines before the Great Horned Conqueror came, is currently the homeland of the Billy Goats. It is also a territory belonging to Equestria, by right of the defeat of aforementioned Great Horned Conqueror's Descendants by the Princesses of Equestria.
Before this they were effectively organized groups of semi wandering clans. Going about their business in a usual fashion for groups of ancient warring clans of goats trying not to off themselves too quickly. They were united under the Great Horned Conqueror, who decades later ceded the throne to one Billy. So he could go on a quest to find ancient knowledge ,and presumably turn evil and conquer and pillage other areas. His true name is long forgotten but he had a rather peculiar fondness for bells, and would often dance and sing with bells upon bells coating his figure.
Billy, also known as Billy the Boastful, is why most goats are called Billy Goats if they originate from Ruminia itself. He is also the origin of the classic goat insult “Don’t be such a Billy” often told to someone who is rather full of themselves or maybe just smells really bad. This is because he was a very vain, very snobby, very loud goat. Who would always make a big fuss over every single accomplishment no matter how small. There is a rather old tale of how he once cut the cheese and had to declare how glorious it was. Despite the fact he was actually a fairly good ruler and did accomplish many great feats, he is far more remembered for his boastful nature and unfortunate habit of forgetting to wash himself for days on end.
Though it is thanks to him that the goats would eventually create a feudal semi warring civilization, and some of the best plaid clothing in the world. In fact they invented plaid, and a dish known as fraggus, a local delicacy that nobody besides the goats can actually stomach. Made from long fermented insects, vegetables, and other questionable items it is a true test of ones stomach and willpower.
It is a known fact they used fraggus to aid in negotiation, and win wagers with other countries. They were a proud people, they built very large castles and towers, loved to sail the waters.. The Goats created wonderful myths, and had a tendency to invade villages of other countries especially their next door neighbor; and acquire civilians to take home as prizes. This would not have been such a problem if they hadn't also sent yearly gifts to the families of said citizens. These gifts consisted of fresh fraggus, loads of plaid cloth, terrifying tales, and exactly one round of stinky cheese to celebrate their marital union to said former Equestrian. The citizens rightfully complained often to their rulers, Luna and Celestia the Princesses of Equestria.
Unfortunately the Princesses of the still young Equestria were not exactly pleased with a bunch of horned marauders randomly invading their country, and taking their citizens. To top it off they were very sick of having to eat fraggus during diplomatic visits, and really tired of bad goat jokes. This habit, nay horribly designed tradition, was the very last straw in a long line of problems related to the Billy Goats and their constant bad taste and actions. In retaliation they promptly beat the Great Horned Conqueror or GHC’s Descendants in the only game that Billy Goats really are horrible at.
That game is now known as Tennis, and after their defeat the Princesses annexed Ruminia as a territory of the sovereign crown of Equestria. But unfortunately for the billy goats fraggus was outlawed as an export. And to top it off most of the Billy Goats preferred traditions were only useful to attract tourists, including the Hilland Games. They were thus forced to almost solely rely on a few exports. These were mostly plaid materials, for the equestrian farmers loved it and the Billy Goats made the best plaid in the world. Other things were music, scary stories, good dancers, great drink, as well as the occasional military service goat.
As a result they quickly became the laughingstock of Equestria and all of it’s territories, especially since they are truly terrible at Tennis the unofficial national sport. Actually it's because out of all the Equestrian territories they are the worst at Tennis. And the only ones whom were legitimately conquered by that game so badly it's used in comedy skits and goofy songs to this day. And to make it better they have never won a single match in the History of Equestria and it's Territories.
This has been An Incredibly Boring Minor History Lesson about Ruminia.
The Second Part: Reporters, Goats, and Beams from the Sky
Applejack approached the home residence of Mister Musty Price, carrying her rather large and cumbersome load of reporters tools upon her back. The home was an old yet quaint brownstone home with a nice white painted wooden fence around it. With a neighboring home on either side, the poor mare thought she must be out of luck for she could see nobody in either yard. Whether by providence or by sheer dumb luck, the door to Mister Price's home opened. Reacting quickly Applejack turned on her camcorder and prepared to interview the light brown and blue haired unicorn leaving the building. Pulling out her notes so as not to forget the questions she was to ask.
"Excuse me miss, might I have a moment of you time?" She asked the Unicorn, as she walked down the well maintained path to the gate of the small enclosed lawn.
The pony in question walked right up to the gate across from where Applejack was standing, and put her front hooves over it. Then asked in a slightly tired yet jovial manner "Ello, I'm Mrs Price what can I help you with miss?"
Applejack smiled and turned on her recorder before beginning the interview itself. And in a professional tone asked "Mah name is Applejack, Reporter on the case of the ponies turning into Goats ma'am. I am here to interview you about one Mister Musty Price the first victim, do you know him?"
Mrs. Price's face took on a worried look "Well of course I know him, he's been my husband since we married ten years back. Right good old chap, always looking after me. When I heard the news I just bout cried me eyes out that I did".
Applejack nodded "So he's your husband?"
Mrs Price nodded "Yes, yes he is."
Applejack glanced at her notes quickly, "Has your husband ever shown any inclination towards being a Goat prior to what happened earlier today?' In her mind she can't help but wonder what was going through Big Story's head when he wrote these.
Mrs Price paused for a moment before shaking her head, causing her mane to shift slightly over her right eye. "No no, he wasn't that sort of pony. Just an ordinary hard working earth pony chap, no inclination towards being goatish in any way."
Applejack refers to the questions, which at this point look rather silly but continues on with her interview. "He didn't have an obsession with plaid clothing, or Ruminian music?"
Mrs Price pursed her lips before saying "No not at all, he rather quite disliked plaid, and much preferred those Zebra alternative pieces when it came to exotic music."
Applejack continues "He didn't get himself hoofed on Ruminian drinks, or bring home any sort of fraggus or food like that at night?" As she questions this mare she gets the feeling that Big Story might be just a little off in the head.
Mrs Price shakes her head "No no he never did that, in fact he refused to partake in those sort of drinks altogether. He wasn't much a fan of food from Ruminia either, and nopony likes Fraggus anyway. Rather nasty stuff that."
Applejack looks at the next question, stares for a moment, before improvising because it's a horrible question. "He didn't have any issues with bits or finances? "
Mrs Price blinks her blue eyes in thought before saying "Why no he was a genius with money really, never had any problems at all. If anything living in this town has garnered him quite a nice account. We are not in financial trouble at all."
Applejack nods, "So you are saying Mister Price was a perfectly normal pony with no goatish inclinations whatsoever?" Unbeknownst to her a shadow is hidden behind the bush in the neighboring garden, watching them talk and preparing.
Mrs Price smiles and taps her right hoof, "Yes, absolutely. Though he did have a tendency to watch Miss Ramsleton on weekends on the telly"
As Applejack opens her mouth to reply, the shadow moves faster than a pony can blink, and shoots out of it's hiding spot, and over the fence in one bound. Landing besides Applejack it points it's dark grey hoof at Mrs Price before shouting "Aha that's how it starts"
Mrs Price stares at the dark grey Pegasus colt with a white and black two tone mane and a reporters hat in front of her. And in a confused manner asks "I beg your pardon?" Applejack just stares at this colt that came out of nowhere, and looks suspiciously like a certain unicorn newspony.
As this happens triangular craft above seems to let loose an ethereal beam aimed at one of the three below, blissfully unaware of it's presence.
The Pegasus rubs it's chin with it's hoof, adjusting it's reporters hat with a shake of it's head. "Sorry the names Perfect Scoop, and you see the thing about Goatishness. It begins with small things like watching Miss Ramsleton and just builds up over time. A pony doesn't just turn into a billy goat for no reason out of the blue now does he?"
As these words leave his mouth an odd buzzing fills the air around him as a light shimmer hits his coat. He suddenly stands straight as a board, shakes back and forth a bit saying "For the good GMC" in a goatish way. Then for seemingly no reason turns into a billy goat like the others, spins around hoof out; and makes a pony line for Ruminia through the streets and out of the town in the most goatish manner.
As he disappears from sight Applejack and Mrs Price just stare before looking at each other a bit shocked. Unaware of the triangular object hovering over them in the sky, the orange mare says a bit shaken, "Well ah guess a pony really can turn into a billy goat for no reason Miss Price."
Mrs Price nods numbly before replying "It would seem that way."
Applejack adjusts her hat still in shock, noting the camcorder caught everything. "Well ah best be going then, got to go talk to Divine Joke's folks too yet. Have a good day Mrs Price."
The unicorn takes her hooves off the gate before saying "Yes you too Miss Applejack, have a good..." All of a sudden the buzzing starts again and she stands up stiff as wood, shakes a bit before saying quite briskly "Fer Fraggus".
Applejack seeing what is coming, quickly backs away to the border wall on the other side of the street as Mrs Price like her husband before her turns into a billy goat. Hoof out she pushes the gate open with her other cloven hoof, before she too takes off towards Ruminia. And oddly enough seems to have some minor ability to ignore the laws of physics like one Pinkie Pie.
The triangular object moves slowly away towards a a different section of town.
Applejack just stares dumbstruck, then checks herself for any goat features breathing a sigh of relief when there are none. In a slightly panicked voice she says "Well ah'll be, better hurry on over to that poor colt's house to talk to his folks before they go an turn into goats too. Never thought I'd see the day when ponies would turn into goats for no reason, I hope Twilight is on this."
She keeps the recorder and camcorder running in case, and promptly moves her hooves faster down the street quick as she can in the direction of the home of the colt Divine Joke.
On her way she sees some ponies waiting at a very basic carriage stop. A fair amount of business ponies all lined up one checking his watch, the other looking at the schedule, yet one more just staring at the sky, and one reading the paper. Turning to get a better look she then sees one after another freeze up and shake before turning into billy goats and running off towards Ruminia. Realizing it is probably better not to stop at all lest she risk becoming a goat herself, she hurries to the home of the family of one Divine Joke.
