DICKFIST

by Fuzzyfurvert

First published

Lyra screws up a spell and gives herself the powers of the DICKFIST! It's not really that awesome, but there is some clop, I guess?

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That title. Those character tags. You can pretty much guess where this is going. Basically, lots of yelling and being gross. Present Perfect and Majin Syeekoh are directly responsible. Description wholly lifted from the product description of a line of designer bags and satchels called DICKFIST by a truly enterprising Korean bag design company. Thank you, Google.

10 DICKFINGERS = 1 DICKFIST

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DICKFIST

By Fuzzyfurvert

“Lyra! I heard a scream, what’s wrong? Are you alriiiiiiiiiightgggckk?!”

Bon Bon, despite being a mare that led the occasional double life as one of Celestia’s black ops agents in an ongoing war against the strange and unusual, was really a down to earth sort of pony. She liked her weirdness in its place. She liked her day-to-day life firmly separate from that weirdness. Or at least she had always assumed she did.

Living in Ponyville as a plant, keeping an eye on both the Everfree Special Region and the Elements of Harmony, tended to bring the weirdness to her doorstep more often than not. Lyra Heartstrings, besides being her smoking hot best-friend-turned-a-lot-more-than-friend, had agreed to move in with her to help mitigate that encroaching weirdness.

That pretty much backfired day one.

But Sweetie “Bon Bon” Drops was the kind of mare that could roll with the punches when she had to. Which what she was doing right now, swerving left—mid concerned question—as Lyra delivered an incredibly awkward rearing right hook as soon as she opened the bedroom door. She sidestepped quickly, dropped her shoulder and rolled, coming up again into a relaxed boxing stance, forehooves raised.

Lyra, what in the name of candyfloss has gotten into you?”

The mint colored unicorn teetered, wobbling unsteadily on her rear hooves. Lyra raised her own forehooves again and grinned like a looney. “I am no longer simply, ‘Lyra.’” She growled low in her throat, holding her hooves up over her head and exposing all of her pressure points to a forced takedown specialist. “I am ‘Lyra, the DICKFIST!’”

“The fudge ripple you say?” Bon Bon shook her head and narrowed her brows at her flatmate. Not for the first time, she wondered where she was supposed to draw the line between the good kind of freaky that’s fun at parties and in the sack, and the less good kind of freaky that’s just...well...freaky.

“DICKFIST. See?” Lyra’s face turned thoughtful, dropping her forehooves and holding them in front of herself. The faint glow of her magic shimmered just above their surface, outlining wrinkled hills and valleys of mint colored flesh.

Bon Bon squinted at the mess of crisscrossing veins, arteries, and foreskin. “Lyra...those are dicks.”

“Yeah, but dicks in the shape of a fist! This is important.” The unicorn chuckled, her lunatic grin pulling back into something far more chagrin. “I wanted to make hands again, and I sort of mixed it up with a human dick spell.”

Bon Bon felt her jaw open to say something, but whatever she was going to say, it caught in her throat when Lyra released her magical grip on her dicks and the assorted primate penises flopped loose. After some thought, Bon Bon let herself relax from her stance to standing comfortably on her un-mutated hooves.

“You have dickfingers.” She did a quick head count. “Ten dickfingers.”

“Only takes five of ‘em to make a DICKFIST!” Lyra sat back on her haunches, weaving her hooves around and making her limp dickfingers bounce and sway. She giggled and shrugged in the cute, helpless way of hers. “Sorry about the punch, Bonnie. I was actually kinda bummed, ‘cuz I wanted hands, and I wanted to use the human dick spell as a surprise tonight. But then I got to thinking...and I made a fist with my dicks. Then I did some more thinking and suddenly, I just wanted to touch you with my DICKFIST!”

Lyra sighed, smiling up at her. “You know how it is, you mess up a human dick spell and you just can’t stop until you punch your girlfriend with them.”

“Lyra.”

“I had a craving!”

“Lyra!”

“A craving that only DICKFISTING can sate!”

Bon Bon selected her most unamused face and glared a hole in Lyra’s head, right between those pretty golden irises. “Lyra, for the love frosting, can you please stop trying to bring dark magic into the bedroom? Socks? Cool. The hoodie thing? My thirst is never quenched. But dark chocolate magic? Eenope! I deal with that stuff at work, I don’t need it at home too!”

Lyra, at least, had the manners to look properly admonished. Lyra dropped her head, looking down at the floor. “Sorry, Bonnie. I’m sometimes a screw up.”

“Sometimes?” Bon Bon sighed, her voice lowering to a gentle purr. She reached out and lifted Lyra’s chin, smiling down at the pony that somehow still commanded her heart and loins. “Lyra, you are a fudge up constantly, and I love you for it. It’s sweet that you were thinking about me, but I’m pretty sure I’ve made it clear about how I feel about weirdness in the bedroom.”

The other mare nodded, looking away as she and her dicks deflated a little. “I know...but, I just wanted to share what I’m passionate about with you and have a little sexy fun times too. Humans are like, the best cryptid animal-thing there is! Their hands are a masterpiece of organic engineering!”

“Yes, Lyra, you’ve told me all this.” Bon Bon smirked. If only the unicorn knew the awful truth. But then again, that was what her job was, keeping the bad freaky away from the good freaky. Keeping all of Equestria safe from things like that. “Plus, human dicks look silly. How would they even use those? Just slap each other around with those floppy bits of skin?”

“Yeah no, they get hard and bigger! Like, a lot bigger! Did you know the average human dick can grow up to three hundred percent in size when aroused or in danger? They can even produce their own bodyweight in semen in just one mating! Really puts that cup o’ cum us ponies can do into perspective, huh?” Lyra’s grin expanded and she held up her dickfingers again. The spongy tubes wobbled with the motion. “Just imagine what ten of these could do!”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, sighing in exaggerated exasperation. “It’s a good thing you’re cute, you know?” Her mare Lyra brightened at that. “I guess we can try some of this freaky sprinkles...but no photography this time, got it?”

Lyra nodded at her, a big beautiful smile on that beautiful face.

“Okay! Let me just cast one more spell…”


Like so many villains, DICKFIST was ultimately defeated by her polar opposite, the fistdick!

Lyra grinned, uncaring for the moment about the drool that was running down the side of her muzzle to pool amid the bed sheets and her disheveled mane. A rhythmic groan escaped her, volume modulating in time with each punch that hit her in the gut.

Well, maybe a little lower than the gut, really.

Lyra sucked in air through her teeth and looked down between herself and her amazing marefriend above her. They were in her favorite position, a very unponylike belly-to-belly position that humans were supposed to use. If that wasn’t naughty enough, Bon Bon was holding her hips and pounding away like a machine, their coats soaked and matted from the copious fluids she was leaking.

Lyra’s hooves throbbed, her once soft dicks now hard and apparently engorged. They sadly fell far, far short of the fabled three hundred percent growth, but there was still a chance for filling their bed room with semen.

Hopefully.

So far only four of them has started dripping with some sort of clear fluid, which felt good, but she could help thinking that that particular myth might just be another myth. Even if it didn’t turn out as well as she wanted with her dickfingers, her last spell was really paying off!

First they’d tried the Shocker.

Then they tried the Spock. She came long and perspirated with that one.

But they both paled to the sheer sensations being shot through her each and every time Bon Bon’s hips rocketed forward. Two in the pink had nothing on all five. She could feel the knuckles rubbing her spot, the smooth flesh quivered as another punch sent her over the edge into squirt-ville again. By the time Lyra had caught her breath, Bon Bon grunted and pulled out. The other mare uncurled her fingers and petted her right on the clit.

“Wh-who’s the best?” Bon Bon panted, caressing Lyra’s cunt with her five digits.

“F-f-fist...dick…” Lyra let her head roll back, tongue hanging out. “Fistdick is best!”

Bon Bon grinned, giving Lyra a thumbs up with her fistdick.

“Now change us back, or no dessert for you.”