Who I was

by LuneLover

First published

Twilight Sparkle has a happy life, but that's about to change.

Twilight is a normal unicorn who lives deep in the Everfree Forest, along with some of her friends. Together, they are happy and enjoy each other's company, until Twilight's past resourfaces, along with the reason of her actually living in the forest and faces she doesn't want to remember at all.
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Picture: http://emlan.deviantart.com/art/Everfree-Forest-260818280

One year

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Twilight woke up feeling happy and excited, altough she didn't know why. Then she remembered.

Exactly a year ago, she had wandered into the Everfree Forest and she had built her home there , making five wonderful friends along the way: Lyra, a unicorn; Bon-Bon, Roseluck, both Earth ponies; and Raindrops and Cloudkicker, two pegasus. They lived not too far from where her home was, and they visited each other frequently. The idea of the little party at Roseluck's cottage, that she had promised, made her smile. Still smiling, she got out of bed, went downstairs and set everything up. When she was ready, she left her house. She didn't even need a map, because one year had been enough for her to know the Everfree Forest like her own house.

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Twilight walked to Roseluck's house, taking her time to examine her sorruondings. That was what she loved the most in the Everfree Forest (apart from her friends, naturally): the nature. Everywhere you looked, there was a strange bush, a beautiful flower or an unique tree. Even the monsters, as dangerous as they were, were still quite interesting. And let's not forget the-

Wait, what was that?

She turned around. Had she actually heard the sound of someone walking through the leaves? She was sure it had to be another pony. She knew how the hooves sounded; it clearly was a pony.

"Hello? Is anypony there?"

Seeing that there was no answer, Twilight decided to think of something happy to calm herself down. Happy. She remembered when she met her friends, when they had a sleepover at Lyra's, when they spent Heart's Warming together, when they-

Then she heard a voice that she never wanted to hear again. A voice that, along with many others, were the protagonists of her nightmares. The voices which gave faces to the ponies she never wanted to see again.

"Ah' finally found you, Twi!"

Twilight turned around and saw her worst fear comfirmed.
Standing there, was an orange pony with yellow hair and three apples as a cutie mark.

"Is somethin' wrong, sugarcube?"

She stared in shock, and, to her surprise, another pony came out of the bushes. A cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, and a three-colored rainbow going out of a cloud as a cutie mark. Another pony she didn't want to meet.

"Finally, Twi! We've been looking everywhere for- Wait, why are you looking at me that way?"

Not answering, she turned around and started to run as fast as she could, not even daring to look behind.

"Wait, Twi!"

Twilight felt herself being lifted off the ground by a cyan magical aura. Forgetting that she had magic, she struggled to free herself, but in vain.

"I'm sorry darling, but this way you won't escape."

The voice belonged to a white unicorn with a stylish purple-colored mane and a cutie mark representing three gemstones.

Twilight wondered how many more of her nightmares where going to become true that day.

The pegasus sighed."Don't you remember us, Twi?"

She did, but there was a difference between not remembering and not wanting to remember. But those thoughts meant nothing now. She was trapped in a dead end.

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity had captured her. She couldn't run away anymore. But then her salvation came.

"Hey! What are you guys doing to Twilight!?"

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Lyra was one of those ponies who couldn't orientate themselves, no matter where they were. That's why she always used teletransportation, but after being mocked about it at the last party with her friends, she had decided to walk, like the others did.

It seemed that she was going in the right direction and that everything was going to be fine, until she heard voices coming from her left. Moved by curiosity, she turned in that direction.

And what she saw horrified her.

There were three ponies: a pegasus, an earth pony, an unicorn, and another pony struggling to free herself from the unicorn's magical grasp.

And that last pony was Twilight.

Alarmed at the sight of her friend suffering, Lyra jumped in sight of the other ponies. "Hey! What are you guys doing to Twilight!?", she shouted.

The unicorn gave her a calming smile."Don't worry darling, we just wanted to-", she spoke before being interrupted by Twilight.

"Lyra! Help me! They are trying to hurt me!" She cried.

"Dear, what are you talking-", the unicorn was interrupted again, this time by a magic bolt from Lyra's horn, making her drop her magic around Twilight.

Before the other two could react, Lyra jumped to Twilight. Her horn glowed, teleporting them both out of there.

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They appeared in Roseluck's home, and the owner of the house herself greeted them.

"Hello, Lyra! Is that Twilight with-Wait, is she okay!?", Roseluck spoke, getting worried when she saw the expresion in Twilight's face.

"Roseluck, bring the others. I'll tell you what happened while Twilight recovers"

Roseluck obeyed, and moments later, Bon Bon, Cloudkicker and Raindrops were in the room, and Twilight was sitting in a comfy chair, drinking from a glass of milk and eating from a plate of cookies as she watched Lyra explain the situation to the others.

"Twilight, do you know why they attacked you?", asked Cloudkicker, clearly worried about her friend.

She nodded."Let me tell you about it."

"Are you sure? You don't have to tell us right now", said Raindrops.

"No, you deserve to know.", Twilight answered. "Now, when I came to the EverFree Forest I told you all about me. But the reason I stopped being Celestia's protege was not because I dropped my studies and decided to have a calmer life."

"What? But you said-"Raindrops started, but was cut off.

"I know what I said, but you'll understand when I get to that moment" Said Twilight.

"It all started in my brother's wedding..."

A wedding can't be worse

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"She's EVIL!" Twilight exclaimed, pointing an accusatory hoof at Princess Cadence. Shining Armor moved in front of her, while the guards and the rest of the Elements started talking in hushed tones.

"She's been terrible to my friends-" Twilight teleported behind her "-She's obviously done something to her bridesmaids-" The princess of love was getting cornered "- and if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes all weird!"

The lavender's mare horn flared up with the spell to reveal Changelings."And here's evidence for you!"

"Twilight, no!"

A shield of magic covered Cadence from the blast, sending it from where it came. As the spell hit, Twilight was sent backwards. She managed to stand up, feeling pain but knowing that there probably wasn't nothing broken. She prepared to hear someone asking if she was alright, but that never came. Instead, she was met with the acusatory tone of his brother, and the sound of Cadence's tears as she ran out of the room.

"What the hell where you thinking, Twilight?"

Doesn't he care that I got hurt? Twilight was surprised. "Look, I-"

"You attacked her? If you had accused her, that would have been forgivable, but this?"

She tried again."Brother, If-"

Shining Armor glared at her." Don't call me that. You are no longer my sister! And I'll make sure you can't come to my wedding!" He strode out of the room, probably going to find Cadence.

Twilight felt as if the whole world was against her. But it was only going to turn worse.

"Twilight Sparkle." Celestia approached Twilight and looked down on her."You have dissapointed me. I thought you would never do such a thing. If your brother hadn't blocked your spell, you'd be having legal problems now." She shook her head." I would believe it wise to end your studies, Twilight. Improve yourself, and then I'll reconsider having you as my student." The sun princess left the room.

"Let's get out of here, girls" Applejack said coldly.

"Let's leave this crazy pony alone." Rarity added.

"Yeah!" Said Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy turned around and looked at her now crying friend. "I'm so sorry, Twilight" she whispered, and left with her friends.

Now alone, Twilight felt her pain and sadness change into anger and bitterness. I can't believe it... my so-called friends have left me, not to mention my brother, my assistant and my mentor' Her horn flared. Very well. If they want me gone, then I'll be gone.

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Twilight reapeared in her room in Canterlot. "Let's see... Ah, here it is." She picked up a sturdy leather bag, and she summoned a couple of things with her magic. She checked everyting was there mentally.'Bits, check. Books, check. Necklace... check. Scrolls, quills and ink, check. Smarty Pants, check. Favourite pillow..."

It went so for ten minutes, until Twilight's bag (that had been enchanted in order to have more space) was full. She smiled and picked it up with her magic. As turned to the door, something caught the corner of her eye. On ashelf nearby her, there was a picture of her and her ex-friends. Twilight picked it up, smiling. She smashed it against the floor, making sure the glass was broken. The lavender mare then opened the door and shutted it behind herself with a slam.

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"...And that's basically what happened. I didn't tell you all because I was afraid you would leave me. I mean, I know I kinda overreacted, but..." Twilight had a visible trail of tears on her face and her voice was shaking, but she was cut off as all the five friends huged her. The mare started to cry loudly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't leave me, I don't want to be alone again!" Twilight sobbed.

"It's okay, Twi, It's okay." Raindrops wiped her ters off with her hoof gently.

"Try not to make a river with all those tears!" Joked Lyra.

Twilight smiled a little."Y-You don't hate me?"

Bon Bon smiled at her." Honestly, we don't care about your past."

Cloudkicker nodded."Bon Bon's right, what matters is the present. And in the present, we would never leave you."

Twilight's smile grew even bigger. "Thank you."

Before any of them could respond, someone knocked on the door."Hello? Anypony there?"

The lavender mare's expression changed. " I-It's Applejack. One of my old friends."

"What do we do? I forgot to lock the door, and I can't do it now" Roseluck was starting to panic.

"We could hide Twilight, and tell her we didn't hear her at the door." Proposed Lyra.

"Or maybe be could knock her unconscious, and return her to her home!" Said Cloudkicker.

"Or maybe-"

"No." Twilight had a determined expression in her face." Open the door, Rose. I'll talk to her myself."

"Are you sure?"

Twilight nodded. Roseluck took a deep breath amd went to the door. She returned moments later not only with Applejack, but also with Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and even Princess Celestia herself. The room fell quiet until Rainbow spoke.
" Guys, could you please go to another room? We want to talk with Twilight only."

Lyra and the rest turned to leave, but a magical barrier stopped them.

"They are staying" Twilight spoke with a cold voice.

Rainbow glared at her. "Twilight, the issue-"

"I don't care! They deserve to listen because they were involved in this, even if they didn't ask for it. And they have been better friends that you group of ungrateful, self-centered and idiotic ponies have ever been!" The unicorn's eyes were filled with anger.

The cyan pegasus sat down and looked at the ground, and so did the rest of her group.

Twilight sat in a nearby sofa."Now, let's get to the issue at hand. Why did you come to see me?"

Never say never, 'cause you'll end up embarassing yourself

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Silence devoured the house like a hungry beast. Indeed, none of the ponies who had once been part of Twilight's life wanted to break the silence, fearing the purple unicorn would snap at them.

A few glances at her told Princess Celestia that the rest was awaiting for her to make the first move. A small part of her mind cursed the moment, a long time ago, when she had adopted that 'don't-worry-I'll-take-care-of-everything-bad' policy. It was necessary at the time, but still.

So, she took a step forward and spoke, wth everypony's eyes on her.

"We came to, er, discuss last year's events in a more peaceful and diplomatic manner."

Twilight somehow managed to glare a the solar regent, something she would have never even dreamed of doing while under her tutelage. "I don't think there's anything to talk about, honestly."

"I disagree. There are still many unresolved questions between us." The alicorn spoke in a calming tone. This seemed to calm Twilight down, for she only narrowed her eyes and didn't retort.

Celestia continued. "In order to do this in a more efficient way, I have an idea..."


The Everfree Forest had once been a sacred place, when the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters had called it home, and now a feared one, after the banishment of Nightmare Moon and its abandonment.

But even before that, the Everfree had always been considered a mystery, a place of wonders and dangers alike. Manticores and timberwolves roamed freely, along with many other monsters that didn't exist anywhere else.

The most unnerving thing had always been the silence. Everypony who willingly entered had felt the lack of sound as a sign of bad omens, and death approaching in the form of a beast.

That day, a booming voice broke it and dispersed every bird that was close to the source.

"LISTEN TO ME, CELESTIA! I. WILL. NEVER. GO. TO. CANTERLOT. AGAIN.!"


Twilight Sparkle looked through the train window, angrily. That was probably because she was going to Canterlot again.

After her vocal display, she had been as angry as now, shooting down every rason she had to come. And when it seemed like they were finally going to leave her alone, Celestia had brought up the only subject that could have convinced Twilight of returning.

Her family.

Well, not all of it. His brother didn't count.

But her parents and Spike? They were just caught in the middle and suffered the consecuences of a situation which they had no part in. Thinking back, Twilight realized she had been quite selfish. Her vanishing out of nowhere, with her brother, friends and mentor probably not wanting to talk about it, would have probably filled them to the brim with worry. And she hadn't done anything to prevent that.

Her anger was replaced with guilt and she tore her gaze from the window, trying to focus on something else. The unicorn noticed how her ex-friends were looking at her discreetly, as if they were expecting her to snap and attack them.

Twilight felt her guilt swtich to irritation quickly, and with a sneer she made everyone flinch. Turning her attention to the window again, she wondered how her family was. Had Spike grown? Did her mother publish that book she was struggling to finish? Had her dad changed that horrible carpet she hated with a passion?

She could have asked any of her once-friends if she truly wanted to know, but she decided against it. They hadn't said a word to each other since departing to Canterlot, and Twilight wanted it to remain that way. After all, they'd be there in a couple of hours, and she could ask her family herself.

That was another thing. How was she supposed to confront them? For a whole year she had gone missing, and suddenly she came back, saying hi like she was simple back from a school day? No, that'd an insult to them, discarding away their worry like that.

Twilight soon realized that there simply was no way to plan such a thing; she would have to improvise. For a pony who normally based herself in logic and tried to make plans for every situation, this idea was frustating and, although she would never admit it, somewhat scary.

Forcing herself out of those thoughts and back into reality, the unicorn looked at the not-so-distant city. Since she had left the forest, looking at anything related to her past in any way amde her feel alien and lost, like she had been gone a thousand years instead of just one.

Maybe she could ask Princess Luna about it when she arrived. She probably would understand and help her cope with the feeling. That is, if she still was her friend after all.

Would she be angry with her?

No, of course not. What would she be angry about, anyways? She'd be a bit sad about losing one of her friends, but that was it. Compared to the others, Luna would be a piece of cake.

She shook her head as if trying to rid herself of those thoughts. She didn't want to think about the problems she had with her ex-friends right now.

"You okay there?"

Twilight turned her head to see Raindrops, who was looking at her worriedly.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit tired, don't worry." The pegasus nodded before returning to her seat.

For the first time since this whole thing had started, the unicorn let a small smile grace her features. She had a thousand problems, but as always, her friends were by her side. Come hell or high water, they would always be there, smiling and offering their suppport. The mere thought of them made Twilight's heart fill with joy.

Her anger cooled off, at least for the moment. She rested her head against the window and closed her eyes, experiencing a tiredness she hadn't felt before, when fury and adrenaline fueled her.

As much as Twilight would have liked to sleep the journey away, she realized she couldn't, since they were quite close to their destination. With a sigh, she opened her eyes and sat straight again, considering the possibilyty of taking a nap when she arrived at their first stop: her old house in Canterlot.

The train began to gradually slow down as it neared the city. The uncomfortable silence was replaced with the loud noises of the station. The doors opened, and everypony except the unicorn left.

Twilight got up and walked to the doors. For a second she stopped and looked back . She could hide with a invisibility spell, wait until the staff had checked the cart , and leave when it returned to Ponyville.

She sighed deeply, and followed the rest.

Home is where the heart (and the family) is

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The Second Griffon War had sparked because of the Prince's death by a drop of poison in his wine cup. It was no secret that his father hated Equestria with a passion, and took the opportunity to declare war on them with a decent enough excuse. It was later discovered that it had been a revolutionary group against the crown, which in the years after the war tried to overthrow the King but failed.

"Hey, Twi?"

Equestria had accepted the declaration of war a month or so later, officially beginning the fight. The first great clash was in the city of Manehattan, which was left half destroyed after the encounter. It was also the Equestrian's first victory in the war, which proved that, despite griffons being trained from childhood to be strong warriors, the Equestrian's generals strategies surpassed them.

"Twilight?"

The second big battle took place in the outskirts near Trottingham. Although they were outnumbered, General Iron Blades managed to conduct his soldiers to victory flawlessly, and was condecorated-

"Twilight!"

The purple unicorn snapped out of the coping mechanism she used since she was a filly to find a light yellow hoof that she would have recognized anywhere waving in front of ther face. Indeed, it was Roseluck, looking at her with worry etched in face.

Both mares talked to each other after that, but not with words, but instead with simple gestures. Roseluck cocked her head, asking are you alright? Twilight responded with a nod that meant yes, don't worry.

Those two actions were repeated over and over all throughout the trip to Twilight's house. The earth pony had lived with her long enough to know when she was nervous or not, after all.

The unicorn had every reason to be afraid. She was going to reunite with her family again after a whole year of not seeing them. Well, her parents and Spike were going to be emotionally difficult, but her brother? Oh, he might as well be in another dimension for all she cared.

Much to Twilight's dismay, the trip was short and soon enough they were at her childhood home. It had stayed pretty much the same as it was when she was a little filly; and for a second the unicorn felt like she had went back a couple years in the past.

A moment later and it was over. She was standing before the door, with a hoof raised to knock on it.

Something in the back of mind whispered it's not too late to go back. But Twilight didn't even consider it. Her parents had done nothing to her; they deserved at least this much.

She knocked three times and stepped back.

A choir of voices rose from the inside, one of them telling the rest to remain seated, that he would get the door and that it was probably just some kids playing.

The door opened, revealing Night Light, her father.

For what seemed like an eternity, both unicorns stood in silence, the rest of the group a few meters behind to give them their privacy.

And then Twilight spoke.

"Um, Hi, Dad. I'm ba-" Night Light didn't let her finish and just hugged her tightly, as if a thousand years had passed instead of just one. Her daughter returned the gesture, knowing he was more a stallion of actions than of words.

When the hug ended, all he did was motion towards the interior of the house. Twilight nodded, entering and making her way towards the dining room, where two voices could be heard talking to each other.

"Really? That's great! Congratulations, Velvet!"

"Why thank you, Spike. Do you want more gems, or-" Twilight Velvet cut herself off when she saw her daughter entering the room. She made a move towards her, but someone else beat her to it.

"Twilight!" Something hugged her leg, and when she looked down, she saw a teary-faced Spike who clung to her leg like she was going to dissappear at any second. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I wanted to stay, I really did, but they were leaving and I didn't want to be alone but I believed you and always have just please don't leave again-"

"Shh, it's okay, Spike, I forgive you." Twilight lowered her head to give him a nuzzle. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have left you three all alone, it was selfish of me."

Another two joined in the embrace. "You had your reasons, though. We were worried, but not angry. Never angry." Velvet kissed her daughter's forehead. "But we can talk about that later. Right now we're happy you've come back."


Four cups of tea and a blanket later, the little family sat near the fireplace, huddled together and sharing recent news. Twilight learned that Velvet had recently published a succesful new book; that Night Light had been promoted, and that Spike had made more friends, although he still visited Apple Bloom and the rest in Ponyville every so often. In turn, Twilight told them about her residence in the Everfree, her friends and everything else. But though she liked the little moment she was having with her family, there was a question left unresolved.

"So, it's wonderful to know about all that you have been doing, but-" She took a sip of her tea and continued. "-where's Shining Armor?"

The atmosphere in the room changed. For a few seconds, nopony spoke, until Night Light broke the silence. "He's living in his own house now."

Twilight looked at him surprised. "He left?"

"It was partially our fault." Velvet lowered her ears. "We were angry at him, and he was more because we were taking your side. Me and Night Light said some very harsh things, he did too, and, well..." She took a moment to herself before continuing. "He took his things and left. He's living on the money he gets from the Guard now. We haven't talked for a while."

The purple unicorn stayed silent for a second and then sighed. "I'm going to see him tomorrow. There are a couple of things we need to talk about."

Spike looked at her questiongly,raising an. "You sure about that?"

Twilight returned the look with determination. "Yes. This argument has to end now. It's gone too far and shattered too many relationships. I started it, and now I'm going to end it." She then turned to her mother again. "Do you mind if I stay here for the night? I don't think I have anywhere else to sleep."

Velvet smiled. "You are always welcome here." She stood up. "I'll go prepare your room."

Her daughter returned the smile and focused her attention on the now almost empty cup.