Today, Lyra met a human. Today (or sometime this week, depending on how long it takes to get him release that shield spell he has around Twilight's library) she will gain a husband.
If you don't read The Grey In Between this story will make no sense.
He smiled evilly, "Hi Lyra! My name is Revan! Wanna know what I am?!"
Well this is weird, "Um, what are you?"
His smile gets wider, and he pulls a medallion he's wearing off his neck.
"Imma huuuuumaaaaan!
My jaw drops, my lifes dream is in front of me!
I drop to me knees, "You are going to marry me."
Revan
Is she being serious?
"Rarity how fast can you make me a wedding dress?!"
SHE'S SERIOUS
I whisper to Twilight as Lyra talks to Rarity about designs, without bothering to see if shes even listening, "How fast can you teleport us to the library?"
Lyra Heartstrings
TWILIGHT SPARKLE JUST STOLE MY HUSBAND!!
They obviously would go to the library, I yell to Rarity as I run out of Sugarcube corner, "Rarity! Get to work on my wedding dress!"
"Um, alright?!"
I'll take want I can get!
I run through town to the library and slam right into a large grey bubble.
I scream for all of Ponyville to hear, "SHE PUT UP A SHIELD SPELL?! GIVE ME BACK MY HUSBAND TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
Revan
"WHAT DO WE DO?!"
"I DON'T KNOW."
"WHY DOES SHE WANT TO MARRY ME?!?!"
At that moment a small purple dragon fell down the stairs with a *bonk* sound.
"WHY ARE YOU TWO YELLING?"
"I DON'T KNOW SD, WHY ARE YOU YELLING?"
"I'M NOT YELLING YOU ARE!"
Another voice is heard from upstairs, "I HATE ALL OF YOU!"
"GABRIEL THAT IS NO WAY TO SPEAK TO YOUR GRANDFATHER!"
And with that Twilight begins to band her head against a wall.
Twilight Sparkle
Day Two 8:00am
I had plans for yesterday.
...
So after the wonder of a breakfast yesterday, Lyra sat outside the library for three hours screaming. She then left for 37 minutes.
She came back with a spoon.
She has been hitting Revan's shield with the spoon since 2:02 yesterday afternoon.
Spike and Revan played board games until 8, then I made Spike go to bed.
Blueblood screamed at a wall until 9, then he went to bed.
After Spike went to bed Revan started reading.
I got ready for bed and did some reading of my own.
At 11:23pm I went downstairs for a glass of water.
I found Revan under a pillow fort he made in front of the door.
With a fork.
All I could get out of him was, "If she fights with silverware, I'll fight with silverware.
He's still there.
Day Two 10 am
Twilight Sparkle
"Um, Hello? Twilight?" I lift my eye from my book. Spike looks up from his comic book. Blueblood looks up from the floor. Revan just keeps staring at the door.
I get up, open the door, and walk outside. It seems half the town is here. Mayor Mare is standing next to Lyra, who is still hitting the shield with her spoon.
I smile as best I can, "Yes Mayor Mare?"
She looks at Lyra and then at me, "So you ... kidnapped Lyra's husband?"
"NO!"
"YES SHE DID!"
Lyra and I answer at the same time.
I close my eyes for a moment, "Okay so It's like this, Lyra tried to marry Revan twenty seconds after meeting him. So he ran away."
"But you did put this shield up?"
"No, this shield is grey. My magic is purple. Revan put this up."
"YOUR LYING MY HUSBAND LOVES ME!"
"Lyra he's been sitting in front of the door with a fork since last night."
"HE UNDERSTANDS ME! I'LL BE WITH YOU SOON MY LOVE! THEN WE CAN HAVE A SWORD FIGHT WITH SILVERWARE!" And with that she once again starts hitting the shield with a spoon.
Mayor Mare stares at Lyra for a moment before turning back to me, "Yeah I have no idea how to deal with this."
"Join the club."
"Aw, my spoon broke! BON BON GET ME ANOTHER ONE!"
"No, if your going to break them get your own."
Day Two Noon
Gabriel Blueblood
I spent yesterday screaming into a wall, I spent all morning with my face laying on the floor.
Now I'm hungry. I get up from the floor and walk over to the kitchen. There is only bread.
"Why is there only bread in the kitchen?"
Spike doesn't even look up from his comic book, "Don't ask."
"... But what if I want to eat something that isn't bread?"
"There's some bits on the counter, go buy some food in town. Get me something while your at it."
"I'm being trusted with the money?"
Grandfather screams at me before Spike can answer, "LESSON NUMBER ONE, GO BUY US FOOD."
"I hate my life."
Day Two Noon:30
I grab the bits and a random pair of saddle bags and walk out the door. Earlier almost the entire town was here, but now it's only the crazy green one. I walk out of the shield and stop next to her. I also notice she has downgraded to a spork.
"Are you going to keep hitting the shield until it breaks, because I don't think hitting it like that will break it."
"I will hit it until he realizes he loves me back."
"Alright then."
Sadly enough that is not the strangest conversation I have had.
Day Two 1pm
The town is fairly large for a country town, and better then I expected. They have a farmers market with fresh vegetables. I should be able to make a decent meal for the four of us. I haven't been able to cook for a while, with people always inviting me to meals. I haven't payed for my own meal in two years. Two years. The reason why I'm one of the richest ponies in Equestria is because ponies keep giving me things for free. A fact Fancy Pants and I have found hilarious for years. I'm rich because ponies think I'm rich. I laugh a little as I think about it.
Blueblood never came back yesterday. Revan and Spike started a betting pool on what happened.
Spike says Blueblood went straight to the train station and hopped on a train to Canterlot.
10 bits.
Revan says he got murdered by Lyra.
15 bits.
I refused to bet.
I agree with Spike.
Lyra Heartstrings
9:47AM
After my spork broke I decided to check up on the wedding plans.
First up, Rarity and the wedding dress.
I walk into her shop and am surprised to not hear Rarity with her happy little jingle.
But the bell on the door rings and I hear a thump from below me. I can hear somepony running up the stairs.
A moment later Rarity, looking ragged and tired, busts through the door.
"Hello?" I'm a little scared of her currently, she looks more crazy then I am.
She turns to me and shakes her head, some of the whole 'madness' look leaving her, "Oh, Hello! Lyra darling! How can I help you!"
As she speaks she moves to the center of her store and beckons me to the center.
I walk over to her, "I was wondering if you started my wedding dress?"
She glances at me while looking through some of her stock, "So you got him to say yes then, hm?"
"Well, no. But, soon! HahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
And that's how I got kicked out of Rarity's store, and how the rule, 'No evil laughter in my shop.' rule got started.
Twilight Sparkle
10:23am
I poke my head out of my door.
No sign of the green menace.
I walk out of the door and pass through the grey shield. We finally ran out of food, so I decided to head for Sugarcube Corner for at least something to last us until we can get rid of Lyra. We really have no idea how this is going to end. Revan says that hopeful she'll just lose interest after awhile. I, however, am less believing of that theory. I have heard her talk about humans before, he hasn't, this isn't going to end well. Or peacefully.
I mange to reach Sugarcube Corner without incident, I push open the door, glad that Ponyville is so used to just about everything so no pony cares about the big grey shield around my house. I walk up to the counter and ring the bell.
"TWILIGHT! THE MOLE PEOPLE DIDN'T EAT YOU!!!!!" I am slam tackled by a pink blur.
"Pinkie! What even are 'mole people'!"
"Uhhhhh, nevermind!"
I sigh as Pinkie let's me up, she returns to behind the counter and we chat about small things as I grab some basic food. I wave goodbye as I leave the store. I start the trot home, nothing I got is very healthy, but at least we won't starve.
I reach the library rather quickly, I am about to pass through the shield when I feel something hit my head.
"My husband will looooooove me!"
Oh
Oh sweet Celes-
Spike
5PM
Twilight never came back.
Revan and I have gone into code green. Or red, I wasn't really paying attention when he was naming the codes. Anyway we now have the best defense a library could have!
That is if you count pillows as a defense item.
Revan does.
But Revan is crazy, so yeah.
I have no idea how he got enough pillows to make a five foot tall, seven feet wide, pillow fort in the center of the library.
And now you might say, 'wow Spike you are one amazing dragon! How can you hate your life right now?'
And to that I respond with, becauSE LYRA HAS BEEN SITTING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE FOR LIKE FOUR DAYS, AND GUESS WHAT? I'M ALSO PRETTY SURE SHE KIDNAPPED MY SISTER, SO THATS FUN.
After that you might say, 'whoa Spike I'm so sorry for your problems, surely someone can help you right, someone who has amazingly weird powers that he refuses to explain and is currently reading all of your comic books?'
I'd say to that, You would think that wouldn't you? But when I asked him he said, "SD we have absolutely no proof that Lyra kidnapped Twi, even thought she probably did. That's why we're in here with our only food being your candy stash, also I ate all of the lollipops."
You know what, I'm going out there. And I am going to get help, from our friends, and buy more candy, and maybe some actual food.
Let's do this.
Revan
11:30AM
"SD, SD where are you? Are you asleep? Okay I'm gonna take that as a yes!"
He's probably fine.
Spike
Noon
Okay I've been out here for an hour and haven't gotten kidnapped yet.
Step One complete.
I've gotten some actual food, okay that's a lie it's mostly candy. But I am on my way to Applejack's stand to grab some apples. The town seems pretty quite today, well as quite as Ponyville can be. The CMC set a building on fire, nothing new there. The flower trio is screaming on the ground, also nothing new there.
I reach Applejack's stand with next to no incident and am happy to see no line, I walk right up.
She tips her hat, "Howdy Spike, hows that whole Lyra thing goin' for the four of ya?"
I look over some apples in my claws, "We don't know where Blueblood is, Lyra kidnapped Twilight, all Revan's done is make a really big pillow fort and now he's just reading all of my comics in it, and I'm out here, hoping not to get kidnapped. Because so far, anyone who's left the library ended up gone."
She gives me a concerned look, "And none of you thought to ask anypony for help?"
I give her my best 'really?' face, "Remember the whole, 'anyone who leaves never returns.' thing?
"I was thinking about the Princesses, you can just send Princess Celestia a letter at anytime right?"
"..."
"..."
"... I'm gonna go now."
"Don't forget to pay for the apples."
I speed walk away from Applejack's stand. And continue that speed walk all the way to the library. Or I would have, if there wasn't a crowd of ponies surrounding Revan's shield. I can hear somepony talking in the front but I can't hear them. I run around looking for an opening to run through, but then I find myself lifted up from the ground.
"Sup, SD." I look up to a familiar cyan blue pegasus.
"Please tell me your not going to start using that name too."
Rainbow Dash laughs and put me on her back, "It's better then Spikey-Wikey."
"... Point taken."
She laughs and again and moves us closer to the front of the crowd, "Let's us what's got this crowd going."
We hear a loud voice from below, "-love for you is like a star! Bright and beautiful!"
Ah, Lyra is screaming her love for Revan. Wonderful.
"Dash, I think I know how to end this. Fly into the shield."
"Uh, wouldn't I bounce back?"
"Nah, I think he tuned all six of you into it."
"You think?"
"Just do it."
She grumbles but fly's into the shield, it passes over both of us safely and she puts us down at the door.
I open the door and let Dash in, just as I walk in I hear a, "TELL HIM I LOVE HIM!"
I turn and yell back, "COME OVER HERE AND DO IT YOURSELF!"
I smile at the frustrated scream.
Spike
6:30PM
I look up from my book and yawn, I've been reading this for a while now and it's around the third book I've read today. I've been reading law books, I'm going to get Lyra saddled with as many crimes as I can. The problem is that it's gonna take at least a day or two to read all of the ones I want to. Then I'm gonna write to Princess Celestia.
It's time to begin the end of this horror.
Wow that was really dramatic.
Day 5
Noon
"MY LOVE I LOOKED UP A THING AND SHIELD SPELLS ARE ILLEGAL IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LICENCE, DO YOU HAVE A LICENCE LOVE?!"
"MY DAUGHTER IS A PRINCESS AND I'M BFFS WITH ONE OF THE OTHER ONES I DON'T NEED NO LICENCE!"
And on this day, Ponyville was silent. The whole town waited in anticipation. Wondering what was to come of the stand off. Lyra had retreated, and nothing had been heard from the library. Some planned to attend a wedding, others planned to attend a trial. Some planned for both, and Rarity made a killing.
All was silent, but then, a yell.
"What do you mean forcing someone to marry you is illegal and kidnapping is illegal?!"
And once again silence, If you ignore the muffled screaming as the royal guard took Lyra away.
And thus the day went, silence, arrest, and Rarity thanking Celestia she didn't do returns on wedding clothes.
Day Seven
11:34 AM
Twilight glanced around the table, she, Revan, Spike, Blueblood, and the girls had decided to meet for lunch after the whole Lyra fiasco. Revan was complementing Spike for ending this whole mess, while the rest of the girls ate their lunch. Blueblood simply sat in the corner next to Revan, he had yet to say a thing, and no one knew what had happened to him this week. The only hint they had was that late the night before he had teleported into the library with his mane and coat a mess, filled with sticks and twigs.
Twilight was snapped out of her thoughts by Revan's continuous chatter, "Who knew that all we needed to do was tell Celly what was happening!" He then looked at Twilight, "Seriously why didn't we think of that?"
Twilight let out a little chuckle, "I think I just thought we could handle it."
The whole group laughed, with the exception of Blueblood, who began to munch on a sandwich.
Twilight stared out the window, and wondered what was to come
