A Question
Apple Bloom jostled her way through the crowd of ponies who had gathered for the Cutie Mark Crusaders' cute-ceañera. It was the largest cute-ceañera Apple Bloom could remember, spilling out over the entirety of the town square and engulfing most of what could be considered ‘downtown’ Ponyville. Pinkie had spared nothing in the arrangements, somehow commandeering a troupe of jugglers to entertain the festive crowd, and lining the streets with carts full of food and games that might’ve been more at home at a county fair.
But Apple Bloom’s mind wasn’t entirely at ease, and as nightfall approached, it occurred to her that something important was being overlooked.
Apple Bloom found Princess Twilight sitting on a bench outside Sugarcube Corner, smiling and looking tired as she sipped on a glass of red punch.
“Hey there, Apple Bloom!” called the Princess, extending a hoof.
Apple Bloom smiled, approached the Princess, and gave her a hug. “Thanks for comin’, Princess Twilight. I don’t know if me and the other Crusaders woulda made it this far without all your help.”
Twilight laughed and pulled away, smiling. “Don’t be silly. Your cutie marks turned out to be different from any of the things I helped you girls learn about during ‘Twilight Time’. I just wish I would’ve realized sooner that your talents might relate to helping others.”
Apple Bloom furrowed her brow. “Well yeah, that’s kinda what I’d like to talk about. Didn’t we have another session of ‘Twilight Time’ scheduled for this afternoon?”
Twilight smiled and shook her head. “We do, but you don’t really need that anymore, do you?”
Apple Bloom bit her lip. "Well, I've been thinkin’ a lot about helping other ponies, and I wonder...” She glanced around at the myriad ponies who were dancing and celebrating. “Would it be alright if we do some ‘Twilight Time’ right now? Just… maybe not right here?”
Twilight cocked her head. “Of course.” She pushed herself off the bench and rose to all fours, then gestured with a hoof toward one of the streets leading away from the square.
They walked in silence for several minutes. Apple Bloom kept biting her lip and looking behind them. Twilight spent more and more time just watching the filly as they walked.
Twilight eventually stopped. She turned her head from side to side, checking that the street was clear. She leaned closer to her young friend. “Apple Bloom, what’s the matter?”
Apple Bloom startled, then stopped. She crossed one foreleg in front of the other and blushed. “Well… you know how our cutie marks came from helping others understand what their marks really say about them as ponies, right?"
Twilight nodded. "I heard about you helping Diamond Tiara realize she could use her talent for good. That was wonderful! And I remember hearing how you helped… that big fellow down in Appleoosa realize his whole life isn’t stacked against him.”
Apple Bloom paused, frowning. “Yeah, I’ve kinda been thinkin’ about Troubleshoes for a while now, too. I just find myself wondering… if it’s clear to me what my mark means, and if it's like that for most ponies… why wouldn’t every pony understand and be happy with their cutie mark, right from the get-go?”
Twilight frowned and looked distant. “I suppose part of it is that every pony is different, but the way you're describing it reminds me of a psychological condition I studied in one of my classes. I think they called it… ‘Cutie Mark Dysphoria.’”
Apple Bloom blushed more intensely, and looked away from Twilight. “Diss...for…eeyeah, I’ve been hearin’ that word plenty at home since Big Mac put that dress on at the Social.”
Twilight blushed as well. “Um, that’s… probably something that you and your family should talk about together, in private. But ‘dysphoria’ is also a more general concept studied in the field of abnormal psychology.”
Apple Bloom scrunched-up her muzzle. “Abby-who-now?”
Twilight gesticulated with her hoof, trying to buy a second to get her thoughts organized. “Abnormal psychology. It isn't a field of study I’ve personally focused on, but ponies who do study it, and who become counselors, can be very helpful to those in need. Dysphoria and other conditions tend to be more prevalent than you’d think. I mean, look at Princess Luna punishing herself by creating the Tantabus; you and I might feel a lot of compassion for her, but you know that wasn’t healthy.” She paused, shrugging her wings. “Even I still feel a bit ‘off’ from time to time about having... these.”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “I… I dunno, Twilight. I don’t like the idea of calling that ‘abnormal,’ though. Makes it sound like there’s something wrong with you. I mean, you, Mac, and Princess Luna are three of the ponies I most look up to.”
Twilight blushed again. “I’m flattered to be on that list, Apple Bloom, but ‘abnormal’ is just the technical term. Calling a condition ‘abnormal’ doesn’t necessarily mean that the pony who has it is bad; it just means they’re different, though maybe in a way that makes it harder for them to fit all the pieces of their life together.” She smiled. “Anypony from a farm hoof to a princess can have trouble with that.”
Apple Bloom nodded slowly. “And that’s what counselors can help with, right?”
Twilight put a hoof around the filly’s shoulder. “That’s right!”
Apple Bloom beamed. “Well, shoot; I would love to do that! It’d make perfect sense with my family and cutie mark!” She paused, and narrowed her eyes at Twilight. “So tell me, have you been talkin’ to a counselor about your… wing dysphoria?”
A sheepish look crossed Twilight’s face. She looked about, as if trying to see whether anypony might have overheard. “Ah… it’s usually not polite to ask other ponies about their experience with counseling. It’s something... very private.”
Apple Bloom’s eyes widened, and her cheeks turned crimson. “Oh. I’m sorry, Princess; I… didn’t mean to upset you.”
Twilight smiled, shaking her head. “I’ll tell you what, though; if you’re serious about wanting to study counseling and abnormal psychology, maybe I could loan you an introductory text on how to lead a psychological consultation, and you could try it out during our next session of ‘Twilight Time.’”
Apple Bloom beamed. “Thank you, Twilight! And hey, maybe when we’re done, I could try my hoof at analyzin’ why Big Mac has such a thing for your old Smarty Pants doll!”
Twilight’s smile faded. “He ended up with Smarty Pants?! I’ve been wondering what happened to her!”
Apple Bloom’s muzzle twisted into a frown. “I… I’m sorry; I just made everything worse, didn’t I?”
Twilight sighed. “No, Apple Bloom, it’s not your fault. It just sounds like Mac and I have something we need to talk about, but…” She trailed off, and pursed her lips. “I’ll tell you what, that gives me an idea. Why don’t we review a different subject before we get to abnormal psychology?”
Apple Bloom hesitated. “What’s that?”
Twilight steadied herself and took a deep breath. “Conflict resolution.”