A Question
Apple Bloom jostled her way through the crowd of ponies who had gathered for the Cutie Mark Crusaders' cute-ceañera. It was the largest cute-ceañera Apple Bloom could remember, spilling out over the entirety of the town square and engulfing most of what could be considered ‘downtown’ Ponyville. Pinkie had spared nothing in the arrangements, somehow commandeering a troupe of jugglers to entertain the festive crowd, and lining the streets with carts full of food and games that might’ve been more at home at a county fair.
But Apple Bloom’s mind wasn’t entirely at ease, and as nightfall approached, it occurred to her that something important was being overlooked.
Apple Bloom found Princess Twilight sitting on a bench outside Sugarcube Corner, smiling and looking tired as she sipped on a glass of red punch.
“Hey there, Apple Bloom!” called the Princess, extending a hoof.
Apple Bloom smiled, approached the Princess, and gave her a hug. “Thanks for comin’, Princess Twilight. I don’t know if me and the other Crusaders woulda made it this far without all your help.”
Twilight laughed and pulled away, smiling. “Don’t be silly. Your cutie marks turned out to be different from any of the things I helped you girls learn about during ‘Twilight Time’. I just wish I would’ve realized sooner that your talents might relate to helping others.”
Apple Bloom furrowed her brow. “Well yeah, that’s kinda what I’d like to talk about. Didn’t we have another session of ‘Twilight Time’ scheduled for this afternoon?”
Twilight smiled and shook her head. “We do, but you don’t really need that anymore, do you?”
Apple Bloom bit her lip. "Well, I've been thinkin’ a lot about helping other ponies, and I wonder...” She glanced around at the myriad ponies who were dancing and celebrating. “Would it be alright if we do some ‘Twilight Time’ right now? Just… maybe not right here?”
Twilight cocked her head. “Of course.” She pushed herself off the bench and rose to all fours, then gestured with a hoof toward one of the streets leading away from the square.
They walked in silence for several minutes. Apple Bloom kept biting her lip and looking behind them. Twilight spent more and more time just watching the filly as they walked.
Twilight eventually stopped. She turned her head from side to side, checking that the street was clear. She leaned closer to her young friend. “Apple Bloom, what’s the matter?”
Apple Bloom startled, then stopped. She crossed one foreleg in front of the other and blushed. “Well… you know how our cutie marks came from helping others understand what their marks really say about them as ponies, right?"
Twilight nodded. "I heard about you helping Diamond Tiara realize she could use her talent for good. That was wonderful! And I remember hearing how you helped… that big fellow down in Appleoosa realize his whole life isn’t stacked against him.”
Apple Bloom paused, frowning. “Yeah, I’ve kinda been thinkin’ about Troubleshoes for a while now, too. I just find myself wondering… if it’s clear to me what my mark means, and if it's like that for most ponies… why wouldn’t every pony understand and be happy with their cutie mark, right from the get-go?”
Twilight frowned and looked distant. “I suppose part of it is that every pony is different, but the way you're describing it reminds me of a psychological condition I studied in one of my classes. I think they called it… ‘Cutie Mark Dysphoria.’”
Apple Bloom blushed more intensely, and looked away from Twilight. “Diss...for…eeyeah, I’ve been hearin’ that word plenty at home since Big Mac put that dress on at the Social.”
Twilight blushed as well. “Um, that’s… probably something that you and your family should talk about together, in private. But ‘dysphoria’ is also a more general concept studied in the field of abnormal psychology.”
Apple Bloom scrunched-up her muzzle. “Abby-who-now?”
Twilight gesticulated with her hoof, trying to buy a second to get her thoughts organized. “Abnormal psychology. It isn't a field of study I’ve personally focused on, but ponies who do study it, and who become counselors, can be very helpful to those in need. Dysphoria and other conditions tend to be more prevalent than you’d think. I mean, look at Princess Luna punishing herself by creating the Tantabus; you and I might feel a lot of compassion for her, but you know that wasn’t healthy.” She paused, shrugging her wings. “Even I still feel a bit ‘off’ from time to time about having... these.”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “I… I dunno, Twilight. I don’t like the idea of calling that ‘abnormal,’ though. Makes it sound like there’s something wrong with you. I mean, you, Mac, and Princess Luna are three of the ponies I most look up to.”
Twilight blushed again. “I’m flattered to be on that list, Apple Bloom, but ‘abnormal’ is just the technical term. Calling a condition ‘abnormal’ doesn’t necessarily mean that the pony who has it is bad; it just means they’re different, though maybe in a way that makes it harder for them to fit all the pieces of their life together.” She smiled. “Anypony from a farm hoof to a princess can have trouble with that.”
Apple Bloom nodded slowly. “And that’s what counselors can help with, right?”
Twilight put a hoof around the filly’s shoulder. “That’s right!”
Apple Bloom beamed. “Well, shoot; I would love to do that! It’d make perfect sense with my family and cutie mark!” She paused, and narrowed her eyes at Twilight. “So tell me, have you been talkin’ to a counselor about your… wing dysphoria?”
A sheepish look crossed Twilight’s face. She looked about, as if trying to see whether anypony might have overheard. “Ah… it’s usually not polite to ask other ponies about their experience with counseling. It’s something... very private.”
Apple Bloom’s eyes widened, and her cheeks turned crimson. “Oh. I’m sorry, Princess; I… didn’t mean to upset you.”
Twilight smiled, shaking her head. “I’ll tell you what, though; if you’re serious about wanting to study counseling and abnormal psychology, maybe I could loan you an introductory text on how to lead a psychological consultation, and you could try it out during our next session of ‘Twilight Time.’”
Apple Bloom beamed. “Thank you, Twilight! And hey, maybe when we’re done, I could try my hoof at analyzin’ why Big Mac has such a thing for your old Smarty Pants doll!”
Twilight’s smile faded. “He ended up with Smarty Pants?! I’ve been wondering what happened to her!”
Apple Bloom’s muzzle twisted into a frown. “I… I’m sorry; I just made everything worse, didn’t I?”
Twilight sighed. “No, Apple Bloom, it’s not your fault. It just sounds like Mac and I have something we need to talk about, but…” She trailed off, and pursed her lips. “I’ll tell you what, that gives me an idea. Why don’t we review a different subject before we get to abnormal psychology?”
Apple Bloom hesitated. “What’s that?”
Twilight steadied herself and took a deep breath. “Conflict resolution.”
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What's the word that Apple Bloom thought dysphoria was?
Also, this is a fun little tale. Good job.
Dawww.... This was heartfelt, sweet and interesting. I'd be all for a sequel.
I regret not having taken abnormal psychology in college. I took general, organizational, and social, but not abnormal.
I enjoyed this story quite a bit, especially since I've taken an abnormal psychology course.
That line cracked me up.
Fun read -- short, sweet, and brisk. Good sense of humor, a few recent jokes, a number of which almost had me spitting my drink.
Having a Cutie Mark which pertains to helping others is liable to bring about some questions. Twilight's the pony to turn to. Liked/fav'd
Good job sir! You pulled it together nicely! The pacing is spot on, the dialog fits the characters and frankly it is just a plain fun read.
Theres an elegance to the way twilight's talking to apple bloom, shes explaining but shes not condescending and shes clearly trying to help.
Holy beast core this was fun to read. I liked how well you wrote the characters. I am a bit natural at pychology myself. I surprised quite a few writers guessing what happens next correctly by understanding how their characters think and their personality. Then I drew parallels with myself and what I would have done in those places. To be honest I scare myself doing that sometimes.
6518613 Same word, different context. Presumably, that context was "gender dysphoria", implying that much conversation has gone on about whether Big Mac feels uncomfortable as a male.
6524049 Ah, thank you.
Ok so what would you call it if someone doesn't really feel connected to their own body? Not like I feel I am in the wrong body but more that you could stick my consciousness in ANY body and I would still feel like me?
6526040
Being mentally healthy? :V
6527142 I don't know. I would think that most people are more attached to their body than they think. Stick them in another body and I would bet that they would feel something is wrong. Even if it is another human body.
6518613 6518775 6518828 6519576 6520212 6520683 6524029 6524049 6527142 Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad to hear this managed to be interesting and fun, despite ultimately being limited to a single short conversation. Just think of how different it would have been if I'd gone with my very first idea of having it be Sweetie Belle talking to Starlight Glimmer. (Probably terrible!)
6520493 and 6519391, I need to give you guys a proper shout-out. I was operating on a completely insane timeframe for writing and releasing this, and you guys came through with editing help.
6520683 I don't believe anyone's ever used the word "elegance" in describing my work before. Thank you.
6526040 I've had times where I was frustrated with my body's limitations (aches/pains/illness) and wished I was something more like a brain in a jar. But then I go kinda crazy if I don't do any kind of exercise for long periods of time. So the main thing I do to combat that these days is Yoga; it's a great low-stress way to take whatever you've got and make incremental improvements.
6528599 I wouldn't call that idea terrible, but it certainly wouldn't have had the same angle as this conversation.
Anyone else notice that Apple Blooms mark didn't match up with what was originally hinted at? Like, everyone thought Sweetie's talent would be singing, and she did get a music note in her shield. Scoots was always a toss up between dancing or some sort of sport stuff, and the lightning/wing was kind of on point with that. But Bloom's talent was hinted at being carpentry or design (maybe potion making), and she ended up with a heart and apple.
Out of left field for me.
Well, the heart part at least kinda matches with counseling, so good job.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
6539452 Thank you for reading and reviewing! (Again!)
6529465 Yeah, I don't know what the heart really signifies from the show's perspective, but it made AB the best fit for the concept here.
Very well done. My only quibbles are that when Twilight refers to "these", having her do a visual, a wing flare, would have been smoother; and the whole vignette is such an fascinating fly-on-the wall piece, It left me wanting more. Nothing here seems at all hastily written or thrown together. Don't fear; just write. Good job.
Let me see if I got this right.....
At the beginning, Applebloom was unsure if she is really happy with her cutie mark herself. Because she wasn't sure what she's exactly supposed to do with it and how helping other ponies with their cutie marks should work. And that made her nervous and a big angsty, hence the slighty distressed behavior.
That's why she was going to Twilight. And she wanted to ask her in secret and alone because she felt embarrassed by it that she's now unsure about her cutie mark after she was being so impatient about getting it for such a long time. And because of that, she also didn't tell Twilight directly what she thought and instead took the route of generally asking why ponies aren't happy with their cutie marks immediately in hope to get an answer that helps her without having to reveal her own feelings in regards to her mark.
Then Twilight explained her why and this made Applebloom understand what she's supposed to do exactly and so she wasn't unsure about her cutie mark anymore and happy again.
Am I right with that? I could be wrong, because if that's the case then it's very, very subtle and so I think it's better to ask your first before I settle too much for that.
6545880 Thank you! Indeed, something more visual could have worked there.
6560678 I actually meant it to be much more straightforward than that, though I do enjoy seeing it interpreted more subtly! As I see it, Apple Bloom is happy enough with her mark, and even has some ideas about how to use it. But she's struggling with the idea that some ponies end up with marks, or other kinds of situations in life, that they aren't entirely happy with. It's kind of like, "Why isn't everyone else as happy and well-adjusted as I am?" And by asking the question, she gets an answer that opens up new possibilities for how to use her mark.
6564637
I see. Hmm, in that case I have problems to see reasons for her distressed behavior. Does she care so much for every other pony that might have problems with his/her cutie mark (even ponies she doesn't know yet) that it makes her personally stressed out?
I know that Applebloom cares for other ponies a lot, but this seems a little far-fetched.
I don't want to criticize this story too much, it's excellently written and I love it, but that's something that doesn't really seem to add up.
Edit: Then again, Applebloom does show a lot of affection for ponies she barely knows too, as the last episode showed.
Yesterday we saw her bonding with Maud and she showed (impliedly) even affections for Limestone, despite her brutal and aggressive behavior.
I'm a bit mixed on that now.
6566003 I dunno. I still feel like it would make sense for Apple Bloom to be bothered by the huge difference in apparent cutie-mark-satisfaction between herself and someone like Troubleshoes. As I see it, she spent a (relatively) long time investing deliberate effort toward the goal of getting her cutie mark, whereas Troubleshoes got his during a sudden accident and spent years (decades?) feeling like it was a burden. Put another way: Her greatest triumph was his greatest loss, until she and the other Crusaders helped him realize that his mark could be seen and used quite differently.
But then, I reflect on Troubleshoes' predicament quite often when I think about MLP. Most ponies are happy, and they're blessed with deep innate talents that have a direct reflection in the way they live their lives and that are plain for all to see by virtue of a mark shown on their bodies. It depicts a unity of body, mind, and purpose that would be high-octane wish-fulfillment for someone (e.g., me) who sometimes struggles to make the different aspects of their life fit together neatly. But then there's Troubleshoes, who shows us how the permanence of that unity can have a dark side.
I think the bottom line is that you deserve kudos for reading this with a critical eye and unearthing layers of potential meaning that go deeper than I consciously added.
6585118
That makes sense, I understand now. It's making her sad that, while she tried to get a cutie mark for so long, for years, and was then so happy when she finally got it, other ponies can't feel that happiness and are just suffering from it and she doesn't understand how such a wonderful thing can troubling a pony. And she's probably sad about other ponies not valueing their cutie marks like they should.
That's indeed fitting to her personality, so much, that it makes me wonder now if we get an episode in Season 6 or later where we see that she's feeling depressed about it that another pony can't be happy with it's cutie mark.
And I feel ashamed now that I don't know my little apple better.
6585730 No worries.
I highly enjoyed reading this story.
It was intelligent , well written and paced lovely.
6592072 Thank you!
Glad I finally got around to reading this. I love the idea of Apple Bloom not being satisfied with just having her magic butt symbol. If she's going to help ponies as best she can, she's going to need to understand the root cause of the problem she's here to treat. To understand ponies and their talents, she must understand not only how to perform those talents, but also how ponies think.
Wonderful story. Again, I'm glad I finally read it.
Saw DrWolf did a dramatic reading.
6803015 Thank you, and I'm glad you read it as well.
This was one of the first ideas that sprang to mind about how the CMCs might use their marks as they head toward adulthood. Boy am I glad I didn't go with my first idea though, which would have had an adult criminal psychologist Sweetie Belle talking with a middle-aged domestic terrorist Starlight Glimmer. Lo and behold, SG was reformed by the end of the season. 
6803799 I know, isn't it awesome?! He actually contacted me the day I released this to ask permission to record it. So, I've been on pins and needles for almost 3 months now, waiting to hear it!
Did I see a Young Frankenstein reference in there?
Interesting little story, and good job getting Dr. Wolf to read it! So, Apple Bloom's real talent is psychology. She's not a Freudian is she?