A bunch of small goofy stories that have no real purpose other than joke sketches.
These are a bunch of micro-stories that are just for a good laugh and akward moments. I guess this could be considered a troll-fic... But I don't know if I'd call it that.
Rainbow Dash trotted into the room of Scootaloo, as a surprise for her birthday. She was about to wake her for the breakfast she made, when she saw a scrapbook lied open on her nightstand. She curiously looked inside of it.
She whispered to herself. "What the hell? Why are there so many pictures of me? And why are there so many of me sleeping and..."
Rainbow gasped loudly.
"A PICTURE OF ME IN THE SHOWER?!" She shouted in shock and overall terror.
It was enough to awaken the orange filly.
"Huh, Rainbow Dash?" She said as she opened her tired little eyes.
She shot up in her bed when she noticed Rainbow saw the scrapbook.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? THAT'S PERSONAL!!" She screamed in embarrassment.
Rainbow would not answer. Scootaloo closed the book and slid it under her bed.
"Why do you have that?" The scared cyan pegasus asked.
"Because you have one of Applejack, and I thought-"
It was a quiet day at Sugar Cube Corner. Which is concerning, since you would usually hear a psychotic cartoon horse talking nonstop or baking a whole lot. No, this wasn't an average day in the bakery. The bouncy bubbly bombastic pink party pony would usually be making this quiet place into the happiest and loudest place in Ponyville. She's not to be seen or heard from...
"Oh, Mister Narrator! Sorry I'm late!"
What? How are you speaking to me?
"Duh, you're typing up everything I say, silly!"
Anything I type?
"Yep!"
So...
"It's raining dicks!!!" The pink pony screeched in the middle of the building.
From that day forward, like 1 guy never went to Sugar Cube Corner again... Well, fuck that guy, I bet he hates kittens...
It was the first day of school university, and Twilight chan was running to her classroom. She was very kawaii as she ran her legs to her class.
"Well, well, well." Said a shadowy figure.
"Gasp!" The purple girl gasped.
"Looks like someone's in a hurry. Need some help?" The unknown student asked.
Twilight chan nodded. The figure came into the light. It was Trixie senpai. Twilight chan basked in the glory of the greatest most amazing girl in the entire school. She blushed as her hand was in Trixie's. Twilight chan did not know what to say, but Trixie did.
"Twilight chan,"
Twilight chan looked at Trixie senpai.
Trixie senpai moved closer as her lips connected to Twilight's.
~
"TRIXIE!!" The annoyed lavender alicorn yelled.
"But Twilight, Trixie wants to finish reading the faaaaan fiction." She whined.
Trixie wounded up sleeping outside the castle that night, for Twilight was unamused.
"Do you have frequent urges to fly at fast speeds?" The spokespony said.
"Yes, I always have urges." Said commercial actor guy.
"Are you too fucking fat to break the sound barrier?"
"Yes, I always have fat." Said commercial actor guy.
"Then you need... RAINBOW POWER ENERGY BAR!!!"
"Yes, I always have need."
"With this amazing power bar, you can: climb trees, like a boss; fly fast, like a boss; do weed, like a boss; get ass, like a boss."
"Yes, I always have power, thank you Rainbow power energy bar."
"No Brian, thank you."
Rainbow power energy may cause side effects. These side effects include: coughing, sneezing, crying, erections, lung problems, hip displacement, theft, joint pains, wing pains, neck pains, window panes, swelling of the eyes, swelling of the throat, intense butt sweat, rashes, foaming of the mouth, VD, Soar muscles, odor, ear infections, nose bleeds, heart attacks, stroke, giggling, jiggling, rapping, napping, capping, and death. Do not take more than one per day. Ask your doctor if your doctor is a real doctor, don't do drugs, stay in school, and eat your teeth.
[The Shy family] "Mommy, where do foals come from?" Asked the little bright yellow filly.
"Well, Fluttershy..." She began. "When a mommy pony and a daddy pony love eachother very much, all the critters in the forest bring the little foals to their families to love forever."
[The Dash family] "Hey big bro, where do foals come from?" The little blue filly with a messy rainbow mane asked.
"Mommies and daddies fuck and then in nine months the foal is born."
"Oh..."
[The Hooves family]
"Mommy, where do foals come from?" The little pegasus asked.
"Not now sweetie, have a muffin."
"I know everything... Muffins... Are the key to LIFE!!!" Screamed Ditzy.
The train had made it's last stop of the day: Ponyville. This is where a young farmer came to visit his family. It's been quite awhile since they last saw, but that just means they'll be more happy to see him. He then headed towards the farm.
"Howdy, Applejack, Mac, Apple Bloom, and Granny!" Braeburn greeted excitedly as he stepped inside the farmhouse.
"Howdy, Braeburn!" They said simultaneously.
He did a double-take.
"And Howdy Rainbow Dash!" He said slightly confused as to why the blue pegasus was doing here at such a late hour.
"Hey dude!" She greeted him.
"Didn't know you'd be here."
"Why wouldn't I be here?"
Applejack butted in. "Stop questioning, it's time fer supper."
"Shucks, 'm sorry."
As they were finishing dinner, Applejack spoke up.
"Listen, family... I have an announcement t' make." She started. "Me n' Dash 're gettin' married."
A small amount of cheers erupted from the room. Braeburn being the only one upset.
After supper, Braeburn moped on one of the couches.
"What's wrong, Brae?" AJ asked.
"Nothin'... Just a-bit lonely..."
"Whaddaya mean?"
"Jus' wishin' I had some'n special." He pouted.
All of a sudden the door swung open. A stallion in a coat tight uniform had entered.
"Soarin!?" Braeburn couldn't believe his eyes.
"It's been 5 years... But I found you."
They then kissededed. Squee.
Purple Pills (Ha I made a D12 reference in my title)
Twilight was a normal girl who had a normal life. Each morning she faced the world with a bright little smile. She walked up to her car and pulled open the door. Getting in and then driving off to her job. Being the school librarian was fun; she could: organize books, read on her spare time, and her favorite, sneaking off at the end of the day to the old storage closet. Now, anyone would think it's strange for a librarian to sneak into an empty storage closet, but those people never knew what was inside when school was over.
Twilight sat down and brushed off her skirt. She then looked around to make sure she was alone. When she knew it was safe she knocked 3 times, and the wall moved. The secret sliding door was opened and she was gained access to the room on the other side. She came across a drawer. She opened it, pulling out a small bag. She put the contents of the bag into her mouth. Her eyes widened.
Her vision blurred for a moment, and as it cleared it was no longer an empty room, but a new world. One pony galloped to her.
"Twilight! We need to use the elements of harmony!" Said the pink pony.
Pinkie joyfully bounced to Sugar Cube Corner. She was oblivious to the small stalking Spike who was watching everything. He couldn't completey convince himself to carry out his perfect plan. He waited for Pinkie to open the door as he pushed the big blue button on his remote. Just then a creamy cake launched into the pink party pony's face. She was covered in forsting. Spike sprinted in to the bakery and yelled, "You got Spike'd!"
-------
Spike then went home to the castle. He carefully placed tripwire in the vicinity of the door, tying it tight. The dragon then set up a row of big buckets balancing over the tops of the doors. He then ran right roughly enough to get out of the splash zone. Twilight opened the doors and stepped in. On her next step she set off the tripwire trap. She would be seriously soaked as Spike ran up and said, "You got Spike'd!"
-------
Spike soon wandered into the freaky forest known as the Everfree. He closed in on a hut in the heart of the forest. As he set up his tricky trap he noticed something wrong. He went inside the ominous open door. As he walked in the hut he fell face first forward to the ground. He was then covered in syrup and feathers. As he got up he got angry.
"YOU JUST GOT ZECORA'D!" Yelled Twilight as her, Pinkie, and Zecora came into view.
"Did you learn your lesson young one, do not fret, as it was fun." Zecora added.
"Hello, I am Doctor Blue Shield, and today we will be learning how to know a pony's talent by only knowing their name."
SUBJECT 1:RED HEART
"Her name is Red Heart, and it obviously means that she is in the medical field. Her special talent would have something to do with taking care of others. Her cutiemark, is a red cross."
SUBJECT 2:SWEETIE DROPS
"Right away you can assume it has something to do with candy. She makes various candy, for that is her special talent. Her cutiemark is candies."
SUBJECT 3:WHITE SPRAY
"This poor mare is named Whit Spray, her special talent.... is, well, giving blow-jobs. I really feel bad for her. Her cutiemark is a bucket of white liquid... oohhhh gross...."
"That's all our time for today, I'm gonna bleach my eyeballs now. Good Bye."
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The Doctor Blue Shield Show is sponsored in part by:
It was another boring Monday, especially for all the fillies and colts who were on their way to school. Sweetie Belle was groaning in anger as she sat at her desk. Apple Bloom was half asleep from being up all night. Scootaloo wasn't here. Wait, where's Scootaloo?
"Hey Apple Bloom," Sweetie looked at her friend. "Where's Scootaloo?"
Apple Bloom shrugged.
"I'm here!" Scootaloo said as she burst through the door.
She was followed by an annoyed Cheerilee who would have to buy a new door.
She took a deep breathe and smiled. "Good morning class!"
"Good morning, Miss Cheerilee." They greeted all together.
"Today we're learning about fractions." She announced.
Scootaloo raised a hoof.
"Yes, Scootaloo?"
"I fractioned my hoof once!"
"No Scootaloo, fractions not fractures."
"Oh." She then raised her hood again.
"Yes, Scootaloo?" she repeated.
"Are fractions the thing you do when you want to have foals?"
"No."
"Okay." Scootaloo then raised her hoof once more.
"Okay, what is it now, Scootaloo?"
"What's it called when you make foals?"
"That's called sexual intercourse, and we're not going to talk about it."
"Oh, because I had sexual inter-force."
"WHAT?!" Cheerilee said, surprised.
"Yeah, Apple Bloom was there too."
Apple Bloom smacked the back of Scootaloo's head.
----------------
Scootaloo woke up in sweat.
"Phew, just a dream."
"What was that, honey?" Apple Bloom turned around and asked.
Scootaloo's eyes went wide and she went back to sleep.
